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Annie Hall 1977

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X1:243 X2:478 Y1:374 Y2:410 There's an old joke.
X1:182 X2:540 Y1:334 Y2:409 Two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort.
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 One says, "The food at this place is really terrible."
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 The other says, "l know, and such small portions."
X1:237 X2:485 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's essentially how l feel about life:
X1:187 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 full of loneliness, misery, suffering and unhappiness...
X1:257 X2:465 Y1:334 Y2:409 and it's all over much too quickly.
X1:153 X2:568 Y1:374 Y2:410 The other important joke for me...
X1:214 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 is one usually attributed to Groucho Marx...
X1:123 X2:599 Y1:334 Y2:409 but it appears originally in Freud's Wit and lts Relation to the Unconscious.
X1:157 X2:564 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt goes like this, l'm paraphrasing:
X1:100 X2:621 Y1:334 Y2:409 l never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
X1:111 X2:611 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's the key joke of my adult life in terms of my relationships with women.
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 Lately the strangest things have been going through my mind...
X1:166 X2:556 Y1:334 Y2:409 because l turned 40, and l guess l'm going through a life crisis.
X1:166 X2:556 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm not worried about aging. l'm not one of those characters.
X1:125 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 But l'm balding slightly on top. That's about the worst you can say about me.
X1:186 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think l'm going to get better as l get older.
X1:217 X2:505 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think l'm going to be the balding, virile type...
X1:133 X2:589 Y1:374 Y2:410 as opposed to the distinguished gray.
X1:170 X2:552 Y1:374 Y2:410 Unless l'm neither of those two.
X1:122 X2:600 Y1:334 Y2:409 Unless l'm one of those guys with saliva dribbling out of his mouth...
X1:107 X2:614 Y1:334 Y2:409 who wanders into a cafeteria with a shopping bag, screaming about socialism.
X1:175 X2:546 Y1:334 Y2:409 Annie and l broke up, and l still can't get my mind around that.
X1:135 X2:586 Y1:334 Y2:409 l keep sifting the pieces of the relationship through my mind...
X1:119 X2:603 Y1:334 Y2:409 examining my life and trying to figure out where did the screwup come.
X1:194 X2:528 Y1:374 Y2:410 A year ago we were in love.
X1:164 X2:557 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's funny. l'm not a morose type. l'm not a depressive character.
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:374 Y2:410 l was a reasonably happy kid.
X1:191 X2:530 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was brought up in Brooklyn during World War ll.
X1:231 X2:490 Y1:374 Y2:410 He's been depressed.
X1:168 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Suddenly he can't do anything. - Why are you depressed, Alvy?
X1:223 X2:499 Y1:334 Y2:409 Tell Dr. Flicker. lt's something he read.
X1:211 X2:511 Y1:374 Y2:410 Something he read, huh?
X1:188 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 - The universe is expanding. - The universe is expanding?
X1:197 X2:524 Y1:334 Y2:409 The universe is everything, and if it's expanding...
X1:131 X2:590 Y1:334 Y2:409 someday it will break apart, and that will be the end of everything.
X1:165 X2:556 Y1:334 Y2:409 What is that your business? He stopped doing his homework!
X1:124 X2:598 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What's the point? - What's the universe got to do with it?
X1:203 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're here in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is not expanding!
X1:231 X2:491 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt won't be expanding for billions of years!
X1:137 X2:585 Y1:334 Y2:409 We've got to try and enjoy ourselves while we're here! Huh?
X1:179 X2:543 Y1:334 Y2:409 My analyst says l exaggerate my childhood memories...
X1:168 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 but l swear l was brought up underneath the roller coaster...
X1:198 X2:524 Y1:334 Y2:409 in the Coney lsland section of Brooklyn.
X1:109 X2:612 Y1:334 Y2:409 Maybe that accounts for my personality, which is a little nervous.
X1:132 X2:589 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have a hyperactive imagination. My mind tends to jump around a little.
X1:180 X2:542 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
X1:188 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 My father ran the bumper-car concession.
X1:197 X2:525 Y1:374 Y2:410 There he is, and there l am.
X1:168 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 l used to get my aggression out through those cars.
X1:227 X2:494 Y1:334 Y2:409 l remember the staff at our public school.
X1:186 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 We had a saying, "Those who can't do, teach...
X1:194 X2:527 Y1:334 Y2:409 and those who can't teach, teach gym."
X1:143 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 And those who couldn't do anything, l think, were assigned to our school.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 l must say, l always thought my schoolmates were idiots.
X1:226 X2:496 Y1:334 Y2:409 Melvyn Greenglass and his fat little face.
X1:206 X2:515 Y1:334 Y2:409 And Henrietta Farrell, Miss Perfect all the time.
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 And lvan Ackerman, always the wrong answer. Always!
X1:218 X2:503 Y1:374 Y2:410 Seven and three is nine.
X1:230 X2:492 Y1:334 Y2:409 Even then l knew they were just jerks.
X1:112 X2:610 Y1:374 Y2:410 ln 1942 l had already discovered women.
X1:279 X2:443 Y1:374 Y2:410 He kissed me!
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's the second time this month! Step up here.
X1:267 X2:455 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What did l do? - Step up here.
X1:136 X2:585 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What did l do? - You should be ashamed of yourself.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why? l was just expressing a healthy sexual curiosity.
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 Six-year-old boys don't have girls on their minds.
X1:333 X2:388 Y1:374 Y2:410 l did.
X1:167 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 For God sakes, Alvy, even Freud speaks of a latency period!
X1:190 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 l never had a latency period. l can't help it.
X1:188 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why couldn't you have been more like Donald?
X1:218 X2:503 Y1:374 Y2:410 There was a model boy.
X1:184 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 Tell the folks where you are today, Donald.
X1:159 X2:562 Y1:374 Y2:410 l run a profitable dress company.
X1:193 X2:529 Y1:334 Y2:409 Sometimes l wonder where my classmates are today.
X1:160 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm president of the Pinkus Plumbing Company.
X1:285 X2:436 Y1:374 Y2:410 l sell talliths.
X1:188 X2:533 Y1:334 Y2:409 l used to be a heroin addict, now l'm a methadone addict.
X1:266 X2:455 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm into leather.
X1:112 X2:609 Y1:334 Y2:409 l lost track of most of my old schoolmates, but l wound up a comedian.
X1:162 X2:560 Y1:374 Y2:410 They did not take me in the army.
X1:300 X2:422 Y1:374 Y2:410 l was 4-P.
X1:241 X2:481 Y1:334 Y2:409 ln the event of war, l'm a hostage.
X1:171 X2:550 Y1:334 Y2:409 You always only saw the worst in people.
X1:204 X2:518 Y1:334 Y2:409 You never could get along with anyone in school.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 You were always out of step with the world.
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 Even when you got famous, you still distrusted the world.
X1:137 X2:584 Y1:334 Y2:409 l distinctly heard it. He muttered under his breath, "Jew."
X1:271 X2:451 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You're crazy. - No, l'm not.
X1:130 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 We were walking off the tennis court. He was there and me and his wife.
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 He looked her, then they both looked at me...
X1:236 X2:486 Y1:334 Y2:409 and under his breath he said, "Jew."
X1:216 X2:506 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're a total paranoid.
X1:170 X2:552 Y1:334 Y2:409 How am l a paranoid? l pick up on those kind of things.
X1:124 X2:597 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was having lunch with guys from NBC, so l said, "Did you eat yet?"
X1:182 X2:540 Y1:334 Y2:409 Tom Christie said, "No. Jew?" Not "Did you?"
X1:156 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 Not "Did you eat?" but "Jew eat?" You get it?
X1:229 X2:492 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Max-- - Stop calling me Max.
X1:118 X2:604 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why? lt's a good name for you. Max, you see conspiracies in everything.
X1:157 X2:564 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, l don't. l was in a record store. Listen to this.
X1:122 X2:599 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's this tall, blond crew-cutted guy and he's looking at me in a funny way.
X1:162 X2:560 Y1:334 Y2:409 He's saying, "Yes, we have a sale this week on Wagner."
X1:159 X2:563 Y1:334 Y2:409 Wagner, Max. l know what he's trying to tell me.
X1:194 X2:528 Y1:374 Y2:410 Very significantly, Wagner.
X1:195 X2:527 Y1:374 Y2:410 Right, Max. California, Max.
X1:151 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Get the hell out of this crazy city. - Forget it.
X1:161 X2:560 Y1:334 Y2:409 We move to sunny L.A. All of show business is out there.
X1:169 X2:553 Y1:334 Y2:409 You keep bringing it up, but l don't want to live in a city...
X1:115 X2:607 Y1:334 Y2:409 where the only cultural advantage is you can make a right turn on a red light.
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 All right, forget it. Aren't you going to be late for meeting Annie?
X1:117 X2:604 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm meeting her in front of the Beekman. l have a few minutes left, right?
X1:225 X2:496 Y1:374 Y2:410 Are you on television?
X1:244 X2:477 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yeah, occasionally.
X1:242 X2:479 Y1:374 Y2:410 What's your name?
X1:232 X2:489 Y1:334 Y2:409 You wouldn't know it. lt doesn't matter.
X1:166 X2:556 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're on Johnny Carson, right?
X1:269 X2:453 Y1:374 Y2:410 Once in a while.
X1:242 X2:479 Y1:374 Y2:410 What's your name?
X1:232 X2:489 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm Robert Redford. - Come on!
X1:156 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 Alvy Singer. Thanks very much for everything.
X1:247 X2:474 Y1:374 Y2:410 This is Alvy Singer!
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:334 Y2:409 This guy's on television. Alvy Singer, right? Am l right?
X1:211 X2:511 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Give me a break. - This guy's on television.
X1:194 X2:527 Y1:374 Y2:410 l need the large polo mallet.
X1:130 X2:592 Y1:334 Y2:409 -Who's on television? -This guy, on the Johnny Carson Show.
X1:136 X2:585 Y1:334 Y2:409 - ls this a meeting of the teamsters? - What program?
X1:169 X2:553 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Can l have your autograph? - You don't want my autograph.
X1:208 X2:514 Y1:374 Y2:410 l do! lt's for my girlfriend.
X1:237 X2:485 Y1:374 Y2:410 Make it out to Ralph.
X1:158 X2:564 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Your girlfriend's name is Ralph? - lt's for my brother.
X1:207 X2:514 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're really Alvy Singer, the TV star?
X1:218 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Alvy Singer over here! - lt's all right, fellas.
X1:140 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 Jesus, what did you do? Come by way of the Panama Canal?
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 -l'm in a bad mood. -l'm here with the Godfather cast.
X1:108 X2:613 Y1:334 Y2:409 -Learn to deal with it. -l'm dealing with two guys named Cheech.
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:374 Y2:410 Please, l have a headache.
X1:162 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 You are in a bad mood. You must be getting your period.
X1:165 X2:556 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm not getting my period! Jesus!
X1:121 X2:600 Y1:334 Y2:409 Every time anything out of the ordinary happens, you think l have my period.
X1:190 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 A little louder. l think one of them may have missed it.
X1:200 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Has the picture started? - Two minutes ago.
X1:247 X2:474 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's it. Forget it. l can't go in.
X1:212 X2:510 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Two minutes. - We've blown it already.
X1:209 X2:513 Y1:374 Y2:410 l can't go in, in the middle.
X1:164 X2:558 Y1:334 Y2:409 ln the middle? We've only missed the titles. They're in Swedish.
X1:120 X2:601 Y1:374 Y2:410 You want to get coffee for two hours?
X1:187 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Two hours? No. l'm going in. - Go ahead. Good-bye.
X1:242 X2:480 Y1:334 Y2:409 While we're talking, we could be inside.
X1:111 X2:611 Y1:334 Y2:409 Can we not argue in front of everybody? l get embarrassed.
X1:130 X2:592 Y1:334 Y2:409 - All right. So what do you want to do? - l don't know. Go to another movie?
X1:148 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 -Let's see The Sorrow and the Pity. -We've seen it.
X1:151 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm not in the mood to see a four hour documentary on Nazis.
X1:304 X2:418 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm sorry.
X1:144 X2:578 Y1:334 Y2:409 l've got to see a picture exactly from start to finish, 'cause l'm anal.
X1:238 X2:483 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's a polite word for what you are.
X1:142 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 We saw the Fellini film last Tuesday. lt is not one of his best.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt lacks a cohesive structure.
X1:128 X2:594 Y1:334 Y2:409 You get the feeling he's not absolutely sure what it is he wants to say.
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 l've always felt he was essentially a technical filmmaker.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:374 Y2:410 Granted La Strada was a great film.
X1:141 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 Great in its use of negative imagery more than anything else.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm going to have a stroke. - Stop listening to him.
X1:135 X2:586 Y1:374 Y2:410 He's screaming his opinions in my ear.
X1:195 X2:527 Y1:334 Y2:409 All that Juliet of the Spirits or Satyricon.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:374 Y2:410 l found it incredibly indulgent.
X1:154 X2:568 Y1:334 Y2:409 He really is one of the most indulgent of filmmakers.
X1:187 X2:535 Y1:374 Y2:410 Key word here is "indulgent."
X1:156 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What are you depressed about? - l missed my therapy. l overslept.
X1:160 X2:562 Y1:374 Y2:410 How can you possibly oversleep?
X1:262 X2:460 Y1:374 Y2:410 The alarm clock.
X1:161 X2:560 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know what a hostile gesture that is to me?
X1:223 X2:499 Y1:334 Y2:409 l know. Because of our sexual problem, right?
X1:184 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 Everybody in line has to know our rate of intercourse?
X1:216 X2:505 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's like Samuel Beckett.
X1:155 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 l admire the technique, but it doesn't hit me on a gut level.
X1:172 X2:549 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'd like to hit him on a gut level. - Stop it.
X1:215 X2:506 Y1:334 Y2:409 He's spitting on my neck when he talks.
X1:195 X2:526 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know something else? You're so egocentric that...
X1:133 X2:588 Y1:334 Y2:409 if l miss my therapy you can only think of it in terms of how it affects you!
X1:142 X2:580 Y1:374 Y2:410 They're probably on their first date.
X1:158 X2:564 Y1:334 Y2:409 Probably met by answering an ad in the New York Review of Books.
X1:211 X2:511 Y1:334 Y2:409 "Thirtyish academic wishes to meet woman...
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 who's interested in Mozart, James Joyce and sodomy."
X1:226 X2:496 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you mean "our sexual problem"?
X1:192 X2:530 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm comparatively normal for a guy raised in Brooklyn.
X1:186 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm sorry. My sexual problem. Okay? My sexual problem!
X1:111 X2:611 Y1:334 Y2:409 l never read that. That was Henry James' sequel to Turn of the Screw?
X1:178 X2:544 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's the influence of television.
X1:149 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 Marshall McLuhan deals with it in terms of it being a high intensity.
X1:238 X2:483 Y1:334 Y2:409 Do you understand? A hot medium.
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 What l wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure in it.
X1:148 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you do when you get stuck on a movie line with a guy like this?
X1:157 X2:564 Y1:334 Y2:409 Wait. Why can't l give my opinion? lt's a free country!
X1:178 X2:543 Y1:334 Y2:409 He can. Do you have to give it so loud?
X1:213 X2:509 Y1:334 Y2:409 Aren't you ashamed to pontificate like that?
X1:155 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 The funny part is, you don't know anything about Marshall McLuhan.
X1:134 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 l happen to teach a class at Columbia called "TV, Media and Culture."
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think my insights into Mr. McLuhan have a great deal of validity.
X1:121 X2:600 Y1:334 Y2:409 Do you? That's funny, because l happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here.
X1:209 X2:512 Y1:334 Y2:409 Just let me-- Come over here. Tell him.
X1:180 X2:542 Y1:374 Y2:410 l heard what you were saying.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know nothing of my work. You mean my whole fallacy is wrong.
X1:145 X2:576 Y1:334 Y2:409 How you ever got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing!
X1:214 X2:508 Y1:374 Y2:410 lf life were only like this.
X1:155 X2:567 Y1:070 Y2:145 June 14, 1940. The German army occupies Paris.
X1:169 X2:553 Y1:070 Y2:145 All over the country, people are desperate for food.
X1:141 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 Those guys in the French Resistance were really brave.
X1:152 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 To have to listen to Maurice Chevalier sing so much.
X1:173 X2:549 Y1:334 Y2:409 l know. Sometimes l ask myself how l'd stand up under torture.
X1:248 X2:474 Y1:374 Y2:410 You? You kidding?
X1:099 X2:622 Y1:334 Y2:409 The Gestapo would take away your charge card, and you'd tell 'em everything.
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:374 Y2:410 That movie makes me feel guilty.
X1:260 X2:462 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's supposed to.
X1:304 X2:417 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Alvy, l-- - What?
X1:238 X2:483 Y1:374 Y2:410 What's the matter?
X1:161 X2:560 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's not natural. We're sleeping in a bed together.
X1:237 X2:484 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's been a long time!
X1:257 X2:464 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's just, l mean--
X1:169 X2:552 Y1:334 Y2:409 l've got to sing tomorrow night, so l have to rest my voice.
X1:149 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's always some kind of an excuse. You used to think l was very sexy.
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 When we first started going out, we had sex constantly.
X1:142 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 We're probably listed in The Guiness Book of World Records.
X1:198 X2:523 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt'll pass. l'm going through a phase, that's all.
X1:181 X2:540 Y1:334 Y2:409 You've been married before. You know how things can get.
X1:245 X2:476 Y1:334 Y2:409 You were very hot for Allison at first.
X1:120 X2:601 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know that you're on right after Chris Brown, in about 20 minutes.
X1:260 X2:462 Y1:334 Y2:409 Excuse me. When do l go on?
X1:277 X2:445 Y1:374 Y2:410 Who are you?
X1:287 X2:434 Y1:374 Y2:410 Alvy Singer.
X1:248 X2:474 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm the comedian. - Oh, comedian.
X1:249 X2:472 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, you're on next.
X1:201 X2:521 Y1:374 Y2:410 What do you mean "next"?
X1:181 X2:540 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're on right after this act.
X1:156 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 - lt can't be, because he's a comic. - Yes.
X1:117 X2:605 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You're putting on two comics in a row? - Why not?
X1:152 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, l'm sorry. l'm not going to go on after another comedian.
X1:142 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 - lt's okay. - No. They're laughing. l'd rather not.
X1:207 X2:515 Y1:334 Y2:409 Will you relax, please? They're going to love you.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 l know. l prefer not to. Look, they're laughing at him.
X1:153 X2:568 Y1:334 Y2:409 What are you telling me? They'll laugh at him a few minutes.
X1:170 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 Then l've got to get laughs, too. How much can they laugh?
X1:227 X2:495 Y1:334 Y2:409 - They're laughed out. - Do you feel all right?
X1:321 X2:400 Y1:374 Y2:410 Jesus.
X1:234 X2:487 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What's your name? - Allison.
X1:234 X2:488 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yeah? Allison what?
X1:298 X2:423 Y1:374 Y2:410 Portchnik.
X1:213 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Portchnik? That's nice. - Thank you.
X1:192 X2:529 Y1:334 Y2:409 So, you work for Stevenson all the time?
X1:214 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 - No. l'm doing my thesis. - On what?
X1:199 X2:523 Y1:334 Y2:409 Political commitment in 20th-century literature.
X1:186 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're like New York Jewish, left-wing, intellectual...
X1:118 X2:603 Y1:334 Y2:409 Central Park West, Brandeis University, socialist summer camps...
X1:176 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 and the father with the Ben Shahn drawings...
X1:218 X2:504 Y1:374 Y2:410 really strike-oriented--
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 Stop me before l make a complete imbecile of myself.
X1:112 X2:610 Y1:334 Y2:409 That was wonderful! l love being reduced to a cultural stereotype.
X1:256 X2:465 Y1:334 Y2:409 Right. l'm a bigot, but for the left.
X1:141 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have to go out there. Say something encouraging, quickly.
X1:243 X2:479 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l think you're cute. - Yeah? Do you?
X1:299 X2:422 Y1:374 Y2:410 Go ahead.
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know why they would have me at this kind of rally...
X1:209 X2:512 Y1:334 Y2:409 'cause l'm not essentially a political comedian.
X1:146 X2:576 Y1:374 Y2:410 l interestingly had dated a woman...
X1:157 X2:564 Y1:334 Y2:409 in the Eisenhower administration, briefly.
X1:240 X2:481 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt was ironic to me...
X1:165 X2:556 Y1:374 Y2:410 'cause l was trying to do to her...
X1:126 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 what Eisenhower's been doing to the country for the last eight years.
X1:196 X2:525 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm sorry. l can't go through with this.
X1:209 X2:512 Y1:334 Y2:409 l can't get it off my mind! lt's obsessing me!
X1:231 X2:491 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm getting tired of it. l need your attention.
X1:141 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 But it doesn't make any sense. He drove past the book depository...
X1:172 X2:550 Y1:334 Y2:409 and the police said conclusively that it was an exit wound.
X1:120 X2:602 Y1:334 Y2:409 So how is it possible for Oswald to have fired from two angles at once?
X1:225 X2:496 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt doesn't make sense!
X1:170 X2:552 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'll tell you this. He was not marksman enough...
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:374 Y2:410 to hit a moving target at that range.
X1:137 X2:584 Y1:374 Y2:410 But if there was a second assassin--
X1:203 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 - That's it! - We've been through this.
X1:204 X2:518 Y1:334 Y2:409 They recovered the shells from that rifle.
X1:200 X2:522 Y1:374 Y2:410 What are you saying now?
X1:098 X2:623 Y1:334 Y2:409 That everybody on the Warren Commission is in on this conspiracy, right?
X1:302 X2:419 Y1:374 Y2:410 Why not?
X1:158 X2:563 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Earl Warren? - Honey, l don't know Earl Warren.
X1:256 X2:466 Y1:374 Y2:410 Lyndon Johnson?
X1:180 X2:541 Y1:374 Y2:410 Lyndon Johnson is a politician!
X1:129 X2:592 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know the ethics those guys have. lt's a notch underneath child molester.
X1:127 X2:594 Y1:374 Y2:410 Then everybody's in on the conspiracy.
X1:117 X2:605 Y1:334 Y2:409 The FBl and the ClA and J. Edgar Hoover, the oil companies...
X1:110 X2:611 Y1:334 Y2:409 the Pentagon, the men's-room attendant at the White House?
X1:195 X2:526 Y1:334 Y2:409 l would leave out the men's-room attendant.
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're using this conspiracy theory as an excuse to avoid sex with me.
X1:289 X2:432 Y1:334 Y2:409 Oh, my God! She's right.
X1:143 X2:579 Y1:374 Y2:410 Why did l turn off Allison Portchnik?
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 She was beautiful. She was willing. She was real intelligent.
X1:169 X2:553 Y1:374 Y2:410 ls it the old Groucho Marx joke...
X1:133 X2:589 Y1:334 Y2:409 that l don't want to belong to any club that would have me for a member?
X1:249 X2:473 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Alvy, don't panic! - lt's a mistake...
X1:168 X2:554 Y1:374 Y2:410 to bring a live thing in the house.
X1:278 X2:444 Y1:374 Y2:410 Don't do that.
X1:169 X2:552 Y1:334 Y2:409 Maybe we should call the police. Dial 911. lt's the lobster squad.
X1:220 X2:502 Y1:334 Y2:409 They're only baby ones. For God sakes.
X1:143 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 - lf they're babies, you pick them up. - All right! All right!
X1:240 X2:482 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Here you go! - Don't give it to me.
X1:213 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 Look! One crawled behind the refrigerator.
X1:171 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt'll turn up in our bed at night. Get out of here with that thing!
X1:239 X2:482 Y1:334 Y2:409 Talk to him. You speak shellfish.
X1:236 X2:485 Y1:374 Y2:410 Hey, put it in the pot.
X1:190 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 l can't. l can't put a live thing in hot water.
X1:131 X2:590 Y1:334 Y2:409 What d'you think we were going to do, take him to the movies?
X1:238 X2:484 Y1:374 Y2:410 Good. Oh, thank you.
X1:217 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 Okay, it's in. lt's definitely in the pot.
X1:197 X2:525 Y1:334 Y2:409 Annie, there's a big lobster behind the refrigerator.
X1:249 X2:473 Y1:334 Y2:409 l can't get it out. This thing's heavy.
X1:142 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 Maybe if l put a dish of butter sauce here, it'll run out the other side.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm going to get my camera.
X1:237 X2:484 Y1:374 Y2:410 l think if l could pry--
X1:131 X2:590 Y1:334 Y2:409 We should have gotten steaks, 'cause they don't have legs and run around.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Pick this lobster up. Hold it, please. - You're going to take pictures now?
X1:222 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 Alvy, it'll be wonderful. Oh, lovely!
X1:174 X2:548 Y1:334 Y2:409 - lt's disgusting. - One more, please? One more.
X1:325 X2:397 Y1:374 Y2:410 Good!
X1:182 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 Here's what l want to know. Am l your first, big romance?
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Who was? - There was Dennis from high school.
X1:126 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 Local kid who'd meet you in front of the movie house on Saturday night?
X1:128 X2:593 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You should've seen how l looked then. - l can imagine. An astronaut's wife.
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Then there was Jerry, the actor. - Look at you.
X1:235 X2:486 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're such a clown.
X1:127 X2:594 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l look pretty. - You always do. But that guy with you!
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 Acting is like an exploration of the soul. lt's very religious.
X1:207 X2:515 Y1:334 Y2:409 Like a kind of liberating consciousness.
X1:230 X2:492 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's like a visual poem.
X1:188 X2:533 Y1:374 Y2:410 ls he kidding with that crap?
X1:304 X2:417 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, right!
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 Right. l think l know exactly what you mean when you say "religious."
X1:207 X2:515 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You do? - Come on. l was younger.
X1:242 X2:480 Y1:374 Y2:410 That was last year!
X1:189 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's like when l think of dying. You know how l'd like to die?
X1:325 X2:397 Y1:374 Y2:410 How?
X1:216 X2:506 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'd like to get torn apart by wild animals.
X1:160 X2:562 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Heavy! Eaten by some squirrels. - He was a terrific actor.
X1:226 X2:496 Y1:334 Y2:409 He's neat looking and he was emotional.
X1:244 X2:478 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't think you like emotion too much.
X1:173 X2:549 Y1:374 Y2:410 Touch my heart with your foot.
X1:268 X2:454 Y1:374 Y2:410 l may throw up.
X1:259 X2:462 Y1:334 Y2:409 - He was creepy. - Yeah!
X1:155 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You're pretty lucky l came along. - Oh, really? La-de-dah!
X1:193 X2:529 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf anyone ever told me that l'd be taking out a girl...
X1:226 X2:496 Y1:334 Y2:409 who used expressions like "la-de-dah"--
X1:199 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's right. You really like those New York girls.
X1:135 X2:586 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Not just. Not only. - l'd say so. You married two of them.
X1:221 X2:500 Y1:374 Y2:410 There's Henry Drucker.
X1:221 X2:500 Y1:374 Y2:410 There's Henry Drucker.
X1:214 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 He has a Chair in History at Princeton.
X1:128 X2:594 Y1:334 Y2:409 The short man is Hershel Kaminsky. He has a Chair in Philosophy at Cornell.
X1:199 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 Two more chairs, they got a dining room set.
X1:151 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Why are you so hostile? - l want to watch the Knicks on TV.
X1:201 X2:521 Y1:374 Y2:410 ls that Paul Goodman? No.
X1:163 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 Be nice to the host, because he's publishing my book.
X1:260 X2:462 Y1:334 Y2:409 Hi, Doug. Douglas Wyeth...
X1:187 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 The Foul Rag-and-Bone Shop of the Heart.
X1:222 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm so tired of spending evenings...
X1:135 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 making fake insights with people who work for Dysentery.
X1:276 X2:445 Y1:374 Y2:410 Commentary.
X1:144 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 l heard Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.
X1:206 X2:516 Y1:334 Y2:409 No jokes. These are friends. Okay?
X1:199 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 Cleveland Cavaliers losing to the New York Knicks.
X1:207 X2:514 Y1:334 Y2:409 Here you are. There's people out there.
X1:163 X2:558 Y1:334 Y2:409 Two minutes ago, the Knicks are ahead 14 points...
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:374 Y2:410 and now they're ahead two points.
X1:182 X2:539 Y1:374 Y2:410 Alvy, what is so fascinating...
X1:133 X2:588 Y1:334 Y2:409 about a group of pituitary cases trying to stuff a ball through a hoop?
X1:241 X2:481 Y1:334 Y2:409 What is fascinating is that it's physical.
X1:144 X2:578 Y1:374 Y2:410 That's one thing about intellectuals:
X1:151 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 They've proved you can be brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 But, on the other hand, the body doesn't lie as we now know.
X1:263 X2:459 Y1:374 Y2:410 Stop acting out.
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt'll be great, because all those Ph.D.s are in there discussing...
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 modes of alienation, and we'll be in here quietly humping.
X1:224 X2:498 Y1:334 Y2:409 Don't. You're using sex to express hostility.
X1:126 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 "Why do you always reduce my animal urges to psychoanalytic categories,"...
X1:145 X2:576 Y1:374 Y2:410 he said as he removed her brassier.
X1:164 X2:557 Y1:334 Y2:409 There are people out there from the New Yorker magazine!
X1:217 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 My God! What would they think?
X1:255 X2:467 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Damn siren! - Don't get upset.
X1:222 X2:499 Y1:374 Y2:410 Damn it! l was so close!
X1:223 X2:498 Y1:334 Y2:409 Last night it was a guy honking his car horn.
X1:205 X2:516 Y1:374 Y2:410 The city can't close down.
X1:147 X2:574 Y1:334 Y2:409 You want them to close the airport so we can have sex?
X1:267 X2:454 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm too tense. l need a Valium.
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 My analyst says l should live in the country and not in New York.
X1:112 X2:609 Y1:334 Y2:409 We can't have this discussion all the time. The country makes me nervous.
X1:133 X2:589 Y1:334 Y2:409 You've got crickets. lt's quiet. There's no place to walk after dinner.
X1:157 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's the screens with the dead moths behind them.
X1:140 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 You got the Manson family, possibly. You got Dick and Perry.
X1:135 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 Okay! My analyst just thinks l'm too tense! Where's the goddamn Valium?
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 Okay, it's quiet now. We can get started again.
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:374 Y2:410 l can't! My head is throbbing.
X1:223 X2:498 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You got a headache? - l have a headache!
X1:217 X2:505 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Bad? - Like Oswald in Ghosts.
X1:219 X2:502 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Jesus. - Where are you going?
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm going to take another in a series of cold showers.
X1:153 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 Max, my serve is going to send you to the showers early.
X1:200 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 Right. To get back to what we were discussing.
X1:121 X2:600 Y1:334 Y2:409 The failure of the country to get behind New York City is anti-Semitism.
X1:196 X2:525 Y1:374 Y2:410 Max, the city is terribly run.
X1:179 X2:543 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm not discussing politics or economics. This is foreskin.
X1:104 X2:617 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's a convenient out. When some group disagrees with you, it's anti-Semitism.
X1:218 X2:503 Y1:334 Y2:409 The rest of the country looks upon New York...
X1:117 X2:605 Y1:334 Y2:409 like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers.
X1:159 X2:562 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think of us that way sometimes, and l live here.
X1:131 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 Max, if we lived in California, we could play outdoors every day in the sun.
X1:157 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:374 Y2:410 Sun, milk, red meat, college.
X1:232 X2:489 Y1:374 Y2:410 Egad, here he comes.
X1:263 X2:459 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know Alvy? This is Janet.
X1:250 X2:472 Y1:334 Y2:409 - This is Annie Hall. - This is Alvy.
X1:172 X2:549 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Who's playing with who here? - You and me against them?
X1:227 X2:494 Y1:334 Y2:409 - That's not fair. - l can't play too good.
X1:232 X2:489 Y1:374 Y2:410 l've had four lessons.
X1:325 X2:396 Y1:374 Y2:410 Well...
X1:335 X2:387 Y1:374 Y2:410 bye.
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You play very well. - Oh, yeah? So do you!
X1:174 X2:547 Y1:374 Y2:410 God, what a dumb thing to say.
X1:123 X2:599 Y1:334 Y2:409 You say "You play well," and right away l have to say, "You play well."
X1:269 X2:452 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, God, Annie.
X1:279 X2:443 Y1:374 Y2:410 Well. Oh, well!
X1:293 X2:428 Y1:374 Y2:410 La-de-dah.
X1:261 X2:460 Y1:374 Y2:410 You want a lift?
X1:270 X2:452 Y1:334 Y2:409 Oh, why? You got a car?
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:374 Y2:410 No, l was going to take a cab.
X1:245 X2:477 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, no. l have a car.
X1:261 X2:460 Y1:374 Y2:410 You have a car?
X1:250 X2:471 Y1:374 Y2:410 lf you have a car...
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 then why did you say, "Do you have a car" like you wanted a lift?
X1:247 X2:474 Y1:334 Y2:409 Geez, l don't know. l wasn't--
X1:221 X2:501 Y1:374 Y2:410 l got this VW out there.
X1:285 X2:436 Y1:374 Y2:410 What a jerk.
X1:235 X2:486 Y1:374 Y2:410 Would you like a lift?
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Sure. Which way are you going? - Me? Oh, downtown.
X1:255 X2:467 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm going uptown.
X1:205 X2:516 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, l'm going uptown, too.
X1:136 X2:586 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You said you were going downtown. - Yeah, well--
X1:235 X2:486 Y1:334 Y2:409 l can go uptown, too. l live uptown.
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 What the hell? lt would be nice having company. l hate driving alone.
X1:178 X2:544 Y1:334 Y2:409 How long do you know Janet? Where do you know her from?
X1:220 X2:501 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm in her acting class. - You're an actress!
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:374 Y2:410 Well, l do commercials, sort of.
X1:156 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 You want to watch the road? You're not from New York, right?
X1:256 X2:465 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Chippewa Falls. - Right.
X1:288 X2:433 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Where? - Wisconsin.
X1:140 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You're driving a tad rapidly. - Don't worry. l'm a very good driver.
X1:221 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You want some gum? - No, thanks.
X1:128 X2:594 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Where is it? - Don't do that. No, no, watch the road.
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'll get it. Concentrate, will ya?
X1:243 X2:479 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'll get you a piece. - Listen. You drive?
X1:170 X2:552 Y1:334 Y2:409 Do l drive? No, l got a problem with driving.
X1:302 X2:419 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You do? - Yeah.
X1:188 X2:533 Y1:334 Y2:409 l got a license, but l have too much hostility.
X1:262 X2:459 Y1:334 Y2:409 Nice car. You keep it nice.
X1:153 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Can l ask you, is this a sandwich? - Oh, yeah.
X1:165 X2:557 Y1:334 Y2:409 l live over here. Oh, my God, look! There's a parking space.
X1:149 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's okay, we can walk to the curb from here.
X1:187 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 You want your tennis stuff? You want your gear?
X1:198 X2:523 Y1:334 Y2:409 Yeah. That's good. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Well.
X1:331 X2:390 Y1:374 Y2:410 Well.
X1:288 X2:434 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Thank you. - Thank you.
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're a wonderful tennis player...
X1:194 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 and you're the worst driver l've ever seen in my life.
X1:154 X2:568 Y1:374 Y2:410 Anyplace. Europe. Anyplace. Asia.
X1:190 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l love what you're wearing. - You do? Yeah.
X1:125 X2:597 Y1:374 Y2:410 This tie is a present from Grammy Hall.
X1:237 X2:485 Y1:374 Y2:410 Who? Grammy Hall?
X1:248 X2:474 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yeah, my grammy.
X1:099 X2:622 Y1:334 Y2:409 What did you do, grow up in a Norman Rockwell painting? Your grammy?
X1:173 X2:548 Y1:334 Y2:409 - lt's pretty silly, isn't it? - My grammy never gave gifts.
X1:167 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
X1:230 X2:492 Y1:374 Y2:410 Well, thank you again.
X1:305 X2:417 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, yeah.
X1:120 X2:602 Y1:334 Y2:409 Listen. You want to come upstairs and have a glass of wine or something?
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, l mean you don't have to. You're probably late and everything.
X1:224 X2:497 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, that would be fine. l wouldn't mind. Sure.
X1:180 X2:541 Y1:334 Y2:409 l got time. l got nothing until my analyst appointment.
X1:237 X2:484 Y1:374 Y2:410 You see an analyst?
X1:243 X2:478 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Just for 15 years. - 15 years?
X1:145 X2:576 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm going to give him one more year, and then l'm going to Lourdes.
X1:160 X2:561 Y1:374 Y2:410 15? Nah, come on! Yeah? Really?
X1:162 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 Sylvia Plath. lnteresting poetess whose tragic suicide...
X1:163 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
X1:129 X2:593 Y1:334 Y2:409 Right. l don't know. l mean, some of her poems seem neat.
X1:147 X2:575 Y1:374 Y2:410 Neat? l hate to tell you this is 1975.
X1:201 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 "Neat" went out at the turn of the century.
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:374 Y2:410 Who are those photos on the wall?
X1:282 X2:439 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, you see...
X1:180 X2:541 Y1:334 Y2:409 that's my dad, that's Father, and that's my brother, Duane.
X1:175 X2:546 Y1:334 Y2:409 Yeah, right. And over there's Grammy Hall.
X1:248 X2:473 Y1:334 Y2:409 - And that's Sadie. - Who's Sadie?
X1:141 X2:580 Y1:334 Y2:409 Well, Sadie met Grammy through Grammy's brother, George.
X1:214 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 George was real sweet. He had that thing.
X1:119 X2:603 Y1:334 Y2:409 What is that thing where you fall asleep in the middle of a sentence?
X1:279 X2:443 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Narcolepsy. - Right.
X1:135 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 So anyway, George went to the union to get his free turkey...
X1:123 X2:599 Y1:334 Y2:409 because the union always gave George this free turkey at Christmastime...
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 because he was shell-shocked in the first World War.
X1:128 X2:594 Y1:374 Y2:410 Anyway, so George is standing in line...
X1:212 X2:509 Y1:374 Y2:410 getting his free turkey...
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:334 Y2:409 but the thing is he falls asleep, and he never wakes up.
X1:281 X2:440 Y1:374 Y2:410 So he's dead.
X1:261 X2:460 Y1:374 Y2:410 He's dead. Yeah.
X1:305 X2:416 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, dear.
X1:246 X2:475 Y1:334 Y2:409 Well, terrible, huh? Wouldn't you say?
X1:278 X2:444 Y1:374 Y2:410 Pretty awful.
X1:205 X2:517 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's a great story, though. lt really made my day.
X1:179 X2:542 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think l should get out of here, 'cause l think l'm imposing.
X1:261 X2:461 Y1:374 Y2:410 Really? Maybe--
X1:135 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You don't have to. - But l'm all perspired and everything.
X1:136 X2:586 Y1:374 Y2:410 Didn't you take a shower at the club?
X1:228 X2:494 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, no. l never shower in a public place.
X1:302 X2:419 Y1:374 Y2:410 Why not?
X1:172 X2:549 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't like to get naked in front of another man.
X1:329 X2:392 Y1:374 Y2:410 l see.
X1:197 X2:525 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't like to show my body to a man of my gender.
X1:108 X2:614 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l see, l guess. - You never know what's going to happen.
X1:260 X2:461 Y1:334 Y2:409 - 15 years, huh? - 15 years, yeah.
X1:298 X2:424 Y1:374 Y2:410 God bless.
X1:292 X2:429 Y1:374 Y2:410 Well! Well--
X1:206 X2:516 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're what Grammy Hall would call "a real Jew."
X1:296 X2:426 Y1:374 Y2:410 Thank you.
X1:159 X2:563 Y1:334 Y2:409 She hates Jews. She thinks they just make money.
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 But she's the one, is she ever. l'm telling you.
X1:185 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 So, did you do those photographs in there?
X1:148 X2:574 Y1:070 Y2:457 l dabble? Listen to me. What a jerk. Yeah, l sort of dabble around, you know.
X1:190 X2:532 Y1:070 Y2:457 You are a great-looking girl. They're wonderful. They have a quality.
X1:174 X2:547 Y1:070 Y2:457 He probably thinks l'm a yo-yo. Well, l would like to take a serious photography course.
X1:136 X2:585 Y1:374 Y2:410 Photography's interesting because...
X1:129 X2:593 Y1:070 Y2:457 l wonder what she looks like naked. it's a new art form. A set of aesthetic criteria have not emerged yet.
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:070 Y2:457 l'm not smart enough for him. Hang in there. You mean whether it's a good photo or not?
X1:146 X2:576 Y1:070 Y2:457 l don't know what l'm saying. She senses l'm shallow. The medium enters in as a condition of the art form itself.
X1:170 X2:551 Y1:070 Y2:457 God, l hope he doesn't turn out to be a schmuck like the others. Well, to me-- l mean-- lt's all instinctive.
X1:149 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 l just try to feel it, to get a sense of it and not think about it so much.
X1:153 X2:569 Y1:070 Y2:457 Christ, l sound like FM radio. Relax. Still, you need aesthetic guidelines to put it in social perspective.
X1:167 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know. l mean, l guess you must be sort of late.
X1:174 X2:548 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know, l've got to get there and begin whining soon.
X1:198 X2:523 Y1:374 Y2:410 Are you busy Friday night?
X1:291 X2:430 Y1:374 Y2:410 Me? Oh, no.
X1:173 X2:548 Y1:334 Y2:409 Oh, l'm sorry, l have something. What about Saturday night?
X1:267 X2:455 Y1:374 Y2:410 Nothing. No, no.
X1:178 X2:543 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're very popular, l can see.
X1:243 X2:478 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l know. - You have plague?
X1:238 X2:484 Y1:374 Y2:410 l meet a lot of jerks.
X1:211 X2:511 Y1:374 Y2:410 l meet a lot of jerks, too.
X1:245 X2:476 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm thinking about getting some cats.
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:334 Y2:409 Wait a second! No, no! Oh, shoot!
X1:163 X2:558 Y1:374 Y2:410 Saturday night, l'm going to sing.
X1:170 X2:552 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're going to sing? You sing? No kidding!
X1:229 X2:492 Y1:334 Y2:409 - This is my first time. - Really? Where?
X1:269 X2:453 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'd like to come.
X1:243 X2:478 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm interested. - No, no. l'm just a--
X1:201 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm auditioning at this club. lt's my first time.
X1:155 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's okay, 'cause l know exactly what that's like.
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're going to like nightclubs. They're really a lot of fun.
X1:268 X2:453 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt had to be you
X1:268 X2:453 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt had to be you
X1:247 X2:475 Y1:334 Y2:409 l wandered around And finally found
X1:242 X2:480 Y1:374 Y2:410 This somebody who
X1:222 X2:500 Y1:374 Y2:410 Could make me be true
X1:223 X2:498 Y1:374 Y2:410 Could make me be blue
X1:257 X2:465 Y1:374 Y2:410 And even be glad
X1:274 X2:447 Y1:374 Y2:410 Just to be sad
X1:269 X2:453 Y1:374 Y2:410 Thinking of you
X1:189 X2:533 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was awful! l'm so ashamed! l can't sing.
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:374 Y2:410 So the audience was a tad restless.
X1:139 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you mean, "a tad restless"? My God, they hated me!
X1:189 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, they didn't. You have a wonderful voice.
X1:214 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm going to quit. - l'm not going to let you.
X1:209 X2:512 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You have a great voice. - Do you think so, really?
X1:154 X2:568 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Yeah! lt's terrific. - l never even took a lesson either.
X1:221 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Listen, give me a kiss. - Really?
X1:147 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why not? Because we're just going to go home later.
X1:148 X2:574 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's going to be all that tension. We've never kissed before.
X1:216 X2:506 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'll never know when to make the right move.
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 We'll kiss now and get it over with, and then we'll go eat. Okay?
X1:189 X2:533 Y1:374 Y2:410 We'll digest our food better.
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:374 Y2:410 Okay? Now we can digest our food.
X1:233 X2:489 Y1:374 Y2:410 Corned beef, please.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm having pastrami on white bread...
X1:116 X2:605 Y1:374 Y2:410 with mayonnaise, tomatoes and lettuce.
X1:181 X2:541 Y1:374 Y2:410 So, your second wife left you.
X1:158 X2:563 Y1:374 Y2:410 Were you depressed about that?
X1:149 X2:572 Y1:334 Y2:409 Nothing that a few mega-vitamins couldn't cure.
X1:210 X2:511 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Your first wife, Allison. - She was nice.
X1:245 X2:476 Y1:334 Y2:409 That was my fault. l was too crazy.
X1:255 X2:466 Y1:334 Y2:409 That was so nice! That was nice.
X1:192 X2:530 Y1:334 Y2:409 As Balzac said, "There goes another novel."
X1:261 X2:461 Y1:374 Y2:410 You were great.
X1:257 X2:465 Y1:374 Y2:410 Oh, yeah? Yeah?
X1:238 X2:483 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Yeah, l'm wrecked. - You're wrecked.
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 l mean it. l'll never play the piano again.
X1:167 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt was, l don't know. You really thought it was good?
X1:129 X2:592 Y1:334 Y2:409 Good? Yes. No, that was the most fun l've had without laughing.
X1:225 X2:497 Y1:374 Y2:410 Here, you want some?
X1:200 X2:521 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, l don't use any major hallucinogenics.
X1:154 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 l took a puff about five years ago at a party...
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 and tried to take my pants off over my head.
X1:205 X2:517 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't do it very often. lt just sort of relaxes me.
X1:182 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You won't believe this, but-- - What?
X1:157 X2:564 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm going to buy you these books...
X1:139 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 because l think you should read them instead of that cat book.
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:374 Y2:410 That's pretty serious stuff.
X1:169 X2:552 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm obsessed with death, l think.
X1:167 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's a big subject with me. l have a pessimistic view of life.
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 You should know this about me if we're going to go out.
X1:149 X2:572 Y1:334 Y2:409 l feel that life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:374 Y2:410 Those are the two categories.
X1:154 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 The horrible would be like terminal cases and blind people, cripples.
X1:129 X2:592 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know how they get through life. lt's amazing to me.
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:374 Y2:410 And the miserable is everyone else.
X1:154 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 So when you go through life, be thankful that you're miserable.
X1:156 X2:565 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're very lucky to be miserable.
X1:149 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 Look at that guy. There's Mr. Miami Beach in the pink.
X1:200 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 He's just come back from the gin rummy finals.
X1:266 X2:456 Y1:374 Y2:410 He placed third.
X1:144 X2:578 Y1:334 Y2:409 Look at these guys. That's hilarious. They're back from Fire lsland.
X1:217 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 They're sort of giving it a chance romantically.
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:334 Y2:409 - ltalian, right? - Him? He's the Mafia.
X1:195 X2:527 Y1:334 Y2:409 Linen supply business or cement and contracting.
X1:187 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 Oh, gee, mess up my moustache wax.
X1:108 X2:613 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's the winner of the Truman Capote look-alike contest.
X1:200 X2:521 Y1:334 Y2:409 You are unbelievably sexy. Yes, you are.
X1:158 X2:563 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know what you are? You're polymorphously perverse.
X1:209 X2:513 Y1:334 Y2:409 What does that mean? l don't know what that is.
X1:199 X2:522 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're exceptional in bed...
X1:123 X2:599 Y1:334 Y2:409 because you get pleasure in every part of your body when l touch it.
X1:128 X2:594 Y1:334 Y2:409 Like the tip of your nose, and if l stroke your teeth or your knee caps...
X1:206 X2:515 Y1:374 Y2:410 you certainly get excited.
X1:243 X2:478 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know what? l like you, l really do.
X1:215 X2:506 Y1:334 Y2:409 But do you love me? That's the key question.
X1:190 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 l know you've only known me a short while.
X1:228 X2:494 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think that's sort of-- Yeah, yeah.
X1:262 X2:459 Y1:374 Y2:410 Do you love me?
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 Love is too weak a word for what-- l "lurve" you.
X1:207 X2:515 Y1:334 Y2:409 l "loave" you. l "luff" you, with two "f"s.
X1:240 X2:482 Y1:334 Y2:409 Of course l do. Don't you think l do?
X1:285 X2:436 Y1:374 Y2:410 l don't know.
X1:112 X2:609 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you mean? You're not going to give up your own apartment, are you?
X1:288 X2:434 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Of course. - But why?
X1:157 X2:565 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm moving in with you, that's why.
X1:164 X2:558 Y1:334 Y2:409 - But you have a nice apartment. - l have a tiny apartment.
X1:139 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l know it's small. - And it's got bad plumbing and bugs.
X1:126 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 Granted, it has bad plumbing and bugs. You say that like it's a negative.
X1:295 X2:427 Y1:374 Y2:410 Bugs are--
X1:125 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Entomology is a rapidly growing field. - You don't want me to live with you.
X1:186 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l don't? Whose idea was it? - Mine.
X1:227 X2:494 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt was yours, actually.
X1:179 X2:542 Y1:374 Y2:410 But l approved it immediately.
X1:233 X2:489 Y1:334 Y2:409 You think l talked you into something.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 No. We live together, we sleep together, we eat together.
X1:184 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 Jesus, you don't want it to be like we're married, do you?
X1:112 X2:609 Y1:334 Y2:409 - How is it any different? - Because you keep your own apartment.
X1:148 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's there. We don't have to go to it, deal with it...
X1:132 X2:589 Y1:334 Y2:409 but it's like a free-floating life raft that we know that we're not married.
X1:224 X2:498 Y1:334 Y2:409 That little apartment is $400 a month, Alvy.
X1:176 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 - That place is $400 a month? - Yes, it is.
X1:174 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's got bad plumbing and bugs. Jesus.
X1:168 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 My accountant will write it off as a tax deduction. l'll pay for it.
X1:164 X2:558 Y1:334 Y2:409 You don't think l'm smart enough to be serious about.
X1:247 X2:475 Y1:374 Y2:410 Don't be ridiculous.
X1:117 X2:605 Y1:334 Y2:409 Then why are you always pushing me to take college courses like l was dumb?
X1:138 X2:584 Y1:374 Y2:410 Adult education is a wonderful thing!
X1:185 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 You meet a lot of interesting professors. lt's stimulating.
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 Does this sound like a good course: "Modern American Poetry"?
X1:278 X2:443 Y1:374 Y2:410 Or, let's see...
X1:196 X2:525 Y1:334 Y2:409 maybe l should take "lntroduction to the Novel."
X1:143 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 Just don't take any course where they make you read Beowulf.
X1:318 X2:403 Y1:374 Y2:410 What?
X1:162 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you think? Should we go to that party in South Hampton?
X1:144 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, don't be silly. What do we need other people for?
X1:123 X2:598 Y1:334 Y2:409 We should just turn out the lights and play hide the "salam" or something.
X1:160 X2:562 Y1:334 Y2:409 Well, l'm going to get a cigarette, okay?
X1:126 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 Grass, right? The illusion that it makes a white woman more like Billie Holiday.
X1:165 X2:556 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Have you ever made love high? - Me? No.
X1:193 X2:529 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf l have grass or alcohol, l get unbearably wonderful.
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:374 Y2:410 l get too wonderful for words.
X1:137 X2:585 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know why you have to get high every time we make love.
X1:278 X2:443 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt relaxes me.
X1:155 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 You have to be artificially relaxed before we can go to bed?
X1:162 X2:560 Y1:374 Y2:410 What's the difference, anyway?
X1:145 X2:576 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'll give you a shot of Sodium Pentothal. You can sleep through it.
X1:127 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 Look who's talking! You've been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years.
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 You should smoke some of this. You'd be off the couch in no time.
X1:174 X2:548 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Come on, you don't need that. - What are you doing?
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 - No, Alvy, please? - You can live without it once.
X1:218 X2:504 Y1:374 Y2:410 Wait, l got a great idea.
X1:189 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 Hang in there for a second. l got a little erotic artifact...
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 that l brought up from the city, which l think is going to be perfect.
X1:205 X2:516 Y1:334 Y2:409 There. Create a little old New Orleans essence.
X1:143 X2:579 Y1:374 Y2:410 Now we can go about our business...
X1:172 X2:550 Y1:334 Y2:409 and even develop photographs if we want to.
X1:225 X2:497 Y1:334 Y2:409 - ls something wrong? - No, why?
X1:217 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know. lt's like you're removed.
X1:290 X2:431 Y1:374 Y2:410 No, l'm fine.
X1:314 X2:407 Y1:374 Y2:410 Really?
X1:205 X2:517 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know. You seem sort of distant.
X1:212 X2:510 Y1:374 Y2:410 Let's just do it, all right?
X1:163 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 Was it my imagination or are you just going through the motions?
X1:184 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 Alvy, do you remember where l put my drawing pad?
X1:130 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 Because while you two are doing that, l'm going to do some drawing.
X1:197 X2:524 Y1:374 Y2:410 That's what l call removed!
X1:248 X2:473 Y1:374 Y2:410 You have my body.
X1:201 X2:521 Y1:374 Y2:410 But l want the whole thing!
X1:283 X2:438 Y1:374 Y2:410 l need grass.
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt ruins it for me if you have grass.
X1:140 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm like a comedian, so if l get a laugh from a person who's high...
X1:171 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 it doesn't count, 'cause they're always laughing.
X1:210 X2:511 Y1:374 Y2:410 Were you always funny?
X1:151 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 ls this an interview? We're supposed to be making love.
X1:197 X2:525 Y1:334 Y2:409 This guy is naturally funny. l think he can write for you.
X1:182 X2:540 Y1:334 Y2:409 Yeah, yeah. Hey, kid, he tells me you're really good.
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 Let me explain how l work. You can tell off the bat...
X1:171 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 that l don't look like a funny guy like some of the guys.
X1:125 X2:597 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know they're going to tell you their stories, you're going to fall down.
X1:120 X2:601 Y1:334 Y2:409 But l gotta be really talented. Material's got to be sensational for me.
X1:204 X2:518 Y1:334 Y2:409 l work-- l'm kind of classy. Know what l mean?
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 Let me explain. l'll open with an opening song.
X1:239 X2:483 Y1:374 Y2:410 The music will start.
X1:159 X2:563 Y1:334 Y2:409 l walk out. Place looks wonderful from here
X1:142 X2:580 Y1:374 Y2:410 You folks look wonderful from here
X1:206 X2:516 Y1:334 Y2:409 And seeing you there With a smile on your face
X1:222 X2:499 Y1:334 Y2:409 Makes me shout This must be the place
X1:125 X2:597 Y1:334 Y2:409 l stop, and then l open with some jokes. That's where l need you.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'll say, "l just got back from Canada. They speak a lot of French.
X1:129 X2:593 Y1:334 Y2:409 The only word to know is 'John Dark.' lt means the light's out in the bathroom.
X1:195 X2:527 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l met a big lumberjack." - Jesus, this guy's pathetic.
X1:191 X2:530 Y1:334 Y2:409 Look at him mincing around. Boy, thinks he's real cute.
X1:223 X2:499 Y1:374 Y2:410 You want to throw up.
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf only l had the nerve to do my own jokes.
X1:119 X2:602 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know how much longer l can keep this smile frozen on my face.
X1:204 X2:517 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm in the wrong business. l know it.
X1:281 X2:441 Y1:374 Y2:410 "But, cherie...
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:374 Y2:410 what will l do with this, eh?"
X1:164 X2:557 Y1:334 Y2:409 He says, "Oh, Marie, sometime you make me so mad!"
X1:127 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 They scream at that. Write me something like that, will you?
X1:210 X2:512 Y1:334 Y2:409 Kind of a French number. Can you do it?
X1:207 X2:514 Y1:334 Y2:409 Where am l? l have to reorient myself.
X1:235 X2:487 Y1:334 Y2:409 This is the University of Wisconsin, right?
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 Because l'm always tense when l'm playing a college.
X1:157 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have a bad history with colleges. l went to New York University.
X1:186 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 And l was thrown out of NYU my freshman year...
X1:131 X2:590 Y1:374 Y2:410 for cheating on my metaphysics final.
X1:185 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 l looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
X1:115 X2:607 Y1:334 Y2:409 My mother, an emotionally high-strung woman, locked herself in the bathroom...
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:334 Y2:409 and took an overdose of mah-jongg tiles.
X1:181 X2:540 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was depressed at that time. l was in analysis.
X1:151 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was suicidal, as a matter of fact, and would have killed myself...
X1:226 X2:495 Y1:334 Y2:409 but l was in analysis with a strict Freudian.
X1:132 X2:589 Y1:334 Y2:409 And if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 Alvy, you were just great. l'm not kidding.
X1:157 X2:565 Y1:374 Y2:410 College audiences are wonderful.
X1:145 X2:576 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know what? l think l'm starting to get more of the references, too.
X1:131 X2:590 Y1:334 Y2:409 Are you? The 12:00 show is completely different than the 9:00.
X1:127 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm looking forward to tomorrow. lt'll be nice. You'll meet Mother and Father.
X1:189 X2:532 Y1:374 Y2:410 They'll hate me immediately.
X1:186 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, l don't think they're going to hate you at all. Contrary.
X1:156 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's Easter. We'll sit down and eat. l think they'll really like you.
X1:181 X2:541 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's a nice ham this year, Mom.
X1:129 X2:592 Y1:374 Y2:410 Grammy always does such a good job.
X1:281 X2:441 Y1:374 Y2:410 Great sauce.
X1:250 X2:472 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt is. lt's dynamite ham.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:374 Y2:410 We went to the swap meet.
X1:175 X2:546 Y1:334 Y2:409 Annie, Gram and l. Got some nice picture frames.
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:374 Y2:410 We really had a good time.
X1:174 X2:548 Y1:334 Y2:409 Ann tells us you've been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years.
X1:147 X2:575 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yes. l'm making excellent progress.
X1:143 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 Soon, when l lie down on his couch, l won't have to wear the lobster bib.
X1:141 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Duane and l went to the boat basin. - We caulked hulls all day.
X1:125 X2:596 Y1:374 Y2:410 And Randolph Hunt was drunk as usual.
X1:155 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 That Randolph Hunt! You remember Randy Hunt, Annie.
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 - He was in the choir with you. - Oh, yes.
X1:207 X2:514 Y1:374 Y2:410 l can't believe this family.
X1:157 X2:565 Y1:374 Y2:410 Annie's mother is really beautiful.
X1:166 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 And they're talking swap meets and boat basins.
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 The old lady at the end of the table is a classic Jew-hater.
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 They really look American, healthy, like they never get sick or anything.
X1:178 X2:543 Y1:334 Y2:409 Nothing like my family. The two are like oil and water.
X1:211 X2:511 Y1:334 Y2:409 Ah, let him drop dead. Who needs his business?
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 - His wife has diabetes. - Diabetes? ls that an excuse?
X1:149 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 The man is 50 years old and doesn't have a substantial job.
X1:214 X2:507 Y1:334 Y2:409 ls that a reason to steal from your partner?
X1:233 X2:488 Y1:334 Y2:409 You don't know what you're talking about.
X1:288 X2:433 Y1:374 Y2:410 Defend him!
X1:257 X2:464 Y1:374 Y2:410 Pass the brisket.
X1:247 X2:474 Y1:334 Y2:409 Mo Moskowitz. He had a coronary.
X1:275 X2:446 Y1:374 Y2:410 You don't say!
X1:129 X2:593 Y1:334 Y2:409 How do you plan to spend the holidays, Mrs. Singer?
X1:299 X2:423 Y1:334 Y2:409 - We fast. - Fast?
X1:168 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 No food. You know, to atone for our sins.
X1:247 X2:474 Y1:334 Y2:409 What sins? l don't understand.
X1:272 X2:449 Y1:374 Y2:410 Neither do we.
X1:207 X2:515 Y1:374 Y2:410 Hi, Duane. How's it going?
X1:219 X2:503 Y1:334 Y2:409 - This is my room. - Oh, yeah? lt's terrific.
X1:202 X2:519 Y1:374 Y2:410 Can l confess something?
X1:147 X2:574 Y1:334 Y2:409 l tell you this, because, as an artist, l think you'll understand.
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:374 Y2:410 Sometimes when l'm driving...
X1:232 X2:490 Y1:374 Y2:410 on the road at night...
X1:210 X2:512 Y1:334 Y2:409 l see two headlights coming toward me, fast.
X1:203 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have this impulse to turn the wheel quickly...
X1:174 X2:548 Y1:374 Y2:410 head-on into the oncoming car.
X1:180 X2:541 Y1:374 Y2:410 l can anticipate the explosion.
X1:175 X2:546 Y1:374 Y2:410 The sound of shattering glass.
X1:217 X2:505 Y1:334 Y2:409 The flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
X1:324 X2:397 Y1:374 Y2:410 Right.
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have to go now, Duane, because l'm due back on the planet Earth.
X1:204 X2:518 Y1:374 Y2:410 Don't let it be so long now.
X1:185 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Look up Uncle Billy, promise. - He is adorable.
X1:132 X2:590 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You'll take them to the airport now? - No. Duane can.
X1:192 X2:529 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l haven't finished my drink. - Yes, Duane is. l'll be right--
X1:256 X2:466 Y1:334 Y2:409 You followed me. l can't believe it!
X1:244 X2:478 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l didn't follow you. - You followed me!
X1:137 X2:584 Y1:334 Y2:409 Because l was walking a block behind staring at you? That's not following.
X1:123 X2:599 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What's your definition of "following"? - Following is different. l was spying.
X1:220 X2:501 Y1:334 Y2:409 Do you realize how paranoid you are?
X1:120 X2:601 Y1:334 Y2:409 Paranoid? l'm looking at you, and you've got your arms around another guy.
X1:151 X2:571 Y1:374 Y2:410 That is the worst kind of paranoid!
X1:130 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 l didn't start out spying. l thought l'd surprise you, pick you up after school.
X1:135 X2:586 Y1:334 Y2:409 You wanted to keep the relationship flexible, remember? lt's your phrase.
X1:188 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're having an affair with your college professor!
X1:112 X2:610 Y1:334 Y2:409 That jerk that teaches that crap course, "Contemporary Crisis in Western Man."
X1:171 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 "Existential Motifs in Russian Literature." You're really close.
X1:190 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 What's the difference? lt's all mental masturbation.
X1:171 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 Now we're getting to a subject you know something about.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 Don't knock masturbation. lt's sex with someone l love.
X1:133 X2:589 Y1:334 Y2:409 We're not having an affair. He's married. He happens to think l'm neat.
X1:140 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 Are you 12 years old? That's one of your Chippewa Falls expressions.
X1:287 X2:435 Y1:374 Y2:410 Who cares?
X1:130 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 Next he'll find you're keen and peachy. Then he'll have his hand on your ass.
X1:149 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 You've had hostility towards David ever since l mentioned him.
X1:178 X2:544 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You call your teacher David? - lt's his name.
X1:188 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's a Biblical name, right? Does he call you Bathsheba?
X1:125 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 Alvy, you're the one who never wanted to make a real commitment.
X1:144 X2:578 Y1:334 Y2:409 You don't think l'm smart enough. We had that argument last month...
X1:157 X2:565 Y1:374 Y2:410 or don't you remember that day?
X1:277 X2:445 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm home! - How'd it go?
X1:187 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt was really weird, but she's a very nice woman.
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 l didn't have to lie on the couch. She had me sitting up.
X1:172 X2:550 Y1:334 Y2:409 l told her about the family and my feelings towards men...
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:374 Y2:410 and my relationship with my brother.
X1:170 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 Then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?
X1:177 X2:544 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm one of the few males who suffers from that. Go on.
X1:124 X2:598 Y1:334 Y2:409 She said l was guilty about my impulses towards marriage and children.
X1:107 X2:614 Y1:334 Y2:409 Then, l remembered, when l was a kid, l accidentally saw my parents making love.
X1:162 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 All this happened the first hour? That's amazing.
X1:187 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 l've been going for 15 years. l don't have nothing like that.
X1:241 X2:481 Y1:334 Y2:409 l told her my dream, and then l cried.
X1:170 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 You cried. l've never once cried. That's fantastic to me.
X1:267 X2:455 Y1:334 Y2:409 l whine. l sit and l whine.
X1:139 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 ln my dream, Frank Sinatra is holding this pillow across my face...
X1:243 X2:478 Y1:374 Y2:410 and l can't breathe.
X1:245 X2:477 Y1:374 Y2:410 He's strangling me.
X1:166 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 Sure, because he's a singer, and you're a singer. lt's perfect.
X1:140 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're trying to suffocate yourself. lt makes perfect sense.
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:374 Y2:410 That's a perfect analytic insight.
X1:140 X2:582 Y1:374 Y2:410 She said your name was Alvy Singer.
X1:208 X2:513 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What do you mean, me? - Yeah, you.
X1:207 X2:515 Y1:334 Y2:409 Because in the dream, l break Sinatra's glasses.
X1:141 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 You never said Sinatra had glasses. Are you saying l'm suffocating you?
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 God, l did this really terrible thing to him...
X1:155 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 because then when he sang, it was in this real high-pitch voice.
X1:158 X2:563 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What'd the doctor say? - l should come five times a week.
X1:125 X2:597 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't think l mind analysis at all. The question is, will it change my wife?
X1:203 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Will it change your wife? - Will it change my life?
X1:235 X2:487 Y1:334 Y2:409 - But you said "wife." - No, l said "life."
X1:236 X2:486 Y1:334 Y2:409 - No, you said "wife." - "Life!" l said "life."
X1:127 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 She said "wife." You heard that, because you were there. l'm not crazy.
X1:178 X2:543 Y1:334 Y2:409 Then l told her l didn't think you'd ever take me seriously...
X1:218 X2:503 Y1:334 Y2:409 because you don't think l'm smart enough.
X1:118 X2:604 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why do you bring that up? Because l encourage you to take adult education?
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's a wonderful thing. You meet wonderful, interesting professors.
X1:121 X2:600 Y1:334 Y2:409 Adult education is junk. The professors are phony. How can you do it?
X1:131 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't care what you say about David. He's a fine teacher.
X1:125 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 And why are you following me around? We should call this relationship quits.
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's fine. That's great. l don't know what l did wrong.
X1:156 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 Somewhere she cooled off to me. ls it something that l did?
X1:147 X2:574 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's never something you do. That's how people are. Love fades.
X1:157 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 Love fades. God, that's a depressing thought.
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have to ask you a question. Don't go any further.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 With your wife, in bed, does she need some kind of artificial stimulation...
X1:265 X2:456 Y1:374 Y2:410 like marijuana?
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:374 Y2:410 We use a large vibrating egg.
X1:227 X2:494 Y1:374 Y2:410 A large vibrating egg.
X1:166 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 l ask a psychopath, l get that kind of answer. Jesus!
X1:159 X2:563 Y1:374 Y2:410 You look like a very happy couple.
X1:296 X2:426 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Are you? - Yeah.
X1:197 X2:525 Y1:374 Y2:410 How do you account for it?
X1:193 X2:529 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm very shallow and empty, and l have no ideas...
X1:175 X2:546 Y1:374 Y2:410 and nothing interesting to say.
X1:196 X2:525 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm exactly the same way. - l see.
X1:155 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's interesting. So you've managed to work out something?
X1:324 X2:397 Y1:374 Y2:410 Right.
X1:208 X2:513 Y1:374 Y2:410 Thanks for talking to me.
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 Even as a kid, l went for the wrong women. l think that's my problem.
X1:207 X2:515 Y1:334 Y2:409 When my mother took me to see Snow White...
X1:132 X2:590 Y1:334 Y2:409 everyone fell in love with Snow White, and l fell for the wicked queen.
X1:154 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 - We never have any fun anymore. - How can you say that?
X1:161 X2:560 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why not? You're always leaning on me to improve myself.
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're upset. You must be getting your period.
X1:119 X2:603 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't get a period. l'm a cartoon character. Can't l be upset sometimes?
X1:149 X2:572 Y1:334 Y2:409 Max, forget about Annie. l know lots of women you can date.
X1:232 X2:490 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't want to go out with other women.
X1:135 X2:584 Y1:300 Y2:419 Max, l've got a girl for you. You are going to love her. She's a reporter for Rolling Stone.
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 There are more people here to see the Maharishi...
X1:209 X2:512 Y1:334 Y2:409 than there were to see the Dylan concert.
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 l covered the Dylan concert, which gave me chills.
X1:177 X2:544 Y1:334 Y2:409 Especially when he sang, "She takes just like a woman...
X1:242 X2:479 Y1:334 Y2:409 and she makes love just like a woman.
X1:274 X2:448 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yes, she does.
X1:155 X2:566 Y1:374 Y2:410 And she aches just like a woman...
X1:240 X2:482 Y1:334 Y2:409 but she breaks just like a little girl."
X1:181 X2:540 Y1:334 Y2:409 Up to that, the most charismatic event l covered...
X1:136 X2:585 Y1:334 Y2:409 was Mick's birthday when the Stones played Madison Square Garden.
X1:252 X2:469 Y1:374 Y2:410 That's just great.
X1:254 X2:467 Y1:374 Y2:410 You catch Dylan?
X1:204 X2:517 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, l couldn't make it. My raccoon had hepatitis.
X1:232 X2:489 Y1:374 Y2:410 You have a raccoon?
X1:319 X2:403 Y1:374 Y2:410 A few.
X1:227 X2:494 Y1:334 Y2:409 The only word for this is "transplendent."
X1:186 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 - lt's transplendent. - l can think of another word.
X1:221 X2:501 Y1:334 Y2:409 He's God. l mean, this man is God.
X1:144 X2:578 Y1:334 Y2:409 He's got millions of followers, who would crawl across the world...
X1:216 X2:506 Y1:334 Y2:409 just to touch the hem of his garment.
X1:182 X2:540 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt must be a tremendous hem.
X1:203 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm a Rosicrucian myself. - Are you?
X1:127 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 l can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics. Look.
X1:218 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's God coming out of the men's room.
X1:170 X2:552 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's unbelievably transplendent!
X1:129 X2:592 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was at the Stones' concert when they killed that guy. Remember?
X1:170 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 Were you? l was at an Alice Cooper thing...
X1:178 X2:543 Y1:334 Y2:409 where six people were rushed to the hospital with bad vibes.
X1:196 X2:525 Y1:334 Y2:409 l hope you don't mind that l took so long to finish.
X1:231 X2:490 Y1:374 Y2:410 Me? No. Don't be silly.
X1:168 X2:553 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm starting to get some feeling back in my jaw now.
X1:199 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 Sex with you is really a Kafkaesque experience.
X1:296 X2:426 Y1:374 Y2:410 Thank you.
X1:187 X2:535 Y1:374 Y2:410 l mean that as a compliment.
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think there's too much burden placed on the orgasm...
X1:189 X2:533 Y1:334 Y2:409 to make up for empty areas in life.
X1:267 X2:454 Y1:374 Y2:410 Who said that?
X1:147 X2:574 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know. l think it may have been Leopold and Loeb.
X1:328 X2:394 Y1:374 Y2:410 Hello.
X1:216 X2:505 Y1:374 Y2:410 No. What's the matter?
X1:246 X2:476 Y1:374 Y2:410 You sound terrible.
X1:243 X2:478 Y1:374 Y2:410 No, what-- Sure, l--
X1:203 X2:518 Y1:374 Y2:410 What kind of emergency?
X1:218 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, stay there. l'll come over right now.
X1:246 X2:476 Y1:334 Y2:409 Just stay there. l'll come right over.
X1:262 X2:460 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's me. Open up. Are you okay?
X1:238 X2:483 Y1:334 Y2:409 What's the matter? Are you all right?
X1:160 X2:561 Y1:374 Y2:410 There's a spider in the bathroom.
X1:131 X2:590 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What? - There's a big spider in the bathroom.
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 You got me here at 3:00 a.m. 'cause a spider's in the bathroom?
X1:119 X2:603 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know how l am about insects. l can't sleep with that thing crawling around.
X1:213 X2:509 Y1:334 Y2:409 Kill it! What's wrong with you?
X1:159 X2:562 Y1:374 Y2:410 Don't you have Raid in the house?
X1:186 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 l told you a thousand times to keep a lot of insect spray.
X1:133 X2:588 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You never know who will crawl over. - l know.
X1:230 X2:492 Y1:334 Y2:409 And a first aid kit and fire extinguisher.
X1:224 X2:498 Y1:334 Y2:409 Give me a magazine, 'cause l'm a little tired.
X1:177 X2:544 Y1:334 Y2:409 You make fun of me, but l'm prepared for anything.
X1:188 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 An emergency, a tidal wave, an earthquake.
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 What is this? Did you go to a rock concert?
X1:325 X2:396 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yeah.
X1:256 X2:466 Y1:334 Y2:409 Really? How'd you like it?
X1:190 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 Was it heavy? Did it achieve total "heavyosity"?
X1:254 X2:468 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt was just great!
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 l've got an idea. Call the guy who took you to the rock concert...
X1:149 X2:572 Y1:374 Y2:410 and he can come and kill the spider.
X1:189 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 l called you. You want to help me or not?
X1:142 X2:580 Y1:334 Y2:409 Since when do you read the National Review? What are you turning into?
X1:185 X2:537 Y1:374 Y2:410 l like to get all points of view.
X1:160 X2:562 Y1:334 Y2:409 Wonderful. Get William F. Buckley to kill the spider.
X1:231 X2:490 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're a little hostile, you know that?
X1:225 X2:497 Y1:334 Y2:409 Not only that, you look thin and tired.
X1:219 X2:502 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's 3:00 in the morning. You got me out of bed.
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 l ran over. l couldn't get a taxi. You said it was an emergency.
X1:250 X2:471 Y1:374 Y2:410 l ran up the stairs.
X1:211 X2:511 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was more attractive when the evening began.
X1:164 X2:558 Y1:334 Y2:409 Are you going with a right-wing rock-and-roll star?
X1:201 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 Would you like a glass of chocolate milk?
X1:119 X2:602 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What am l, your son? l came over for-- - l've got the good chocolate.
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Where's the spider? - lt's in the bathroom.
X1:175 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 Don't squish it. After it's dead, flush it down the toilet, okay?
X1:222 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 l've been killing spiders since l was 30. Okay?
X1:144 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's a very big spider. A lot of trouble. There's two of 'em.
X1:194 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 l didn't think it was that big, but it's a major spider.
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You got a broom or snow shovel? - l left it at your house. l'm sorry.
X1:235 X2:487 Y1:374 Y2:410 What are you doing?
X1:156 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
X1:215 X2:506 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You got black soap? - lt's for my complexion.
X1:162 X2:559 Y1:374 Y2:410 Are you joining a minstrel show?
X1:285 X2:437 Y1:374 Y2:410 Don't worry.
X1:215 X2:506 Y1:334 Y2:409 l did it. l killed them both. What's the matter?
X1:106 X2:616 Y1:334 Y2:409 What are you sad about? Did you want me to capture and rehabilitate 'em?
X1:233 X2:489 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Don't go, please. - What do you mean?
X1:184 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 What's the matter? Are you expecting termites?
X1:238 X2:483 Y1:374 Y2:410 What's the matter?
X1:222 X2:499 Y1:374 Y2:410 l don't know. l miss you.
X1:273 X2:448 Y1:374 Y2:410 Jesus! Really?
X1:310 X2:411 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Alvy? - What?
X1:154 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 Was there somebody in your room when l called you?
X1:160 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What do you mean? - l mean, l thought l heard a voice.
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:334 Y2:409 l had the radio on. l'm sorry, it was the television.
X1:196 X2:526 Y1:334 Y2:409 Let's never break up again. l don't want to be apart.
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think we're both much too mature for something like that.
X1:148 X2:574 Y1:334 Y2:409 Living together hasn't been so bad, has it?
X1:214 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 For me it's been terrific. You know?
X1:141 X2:580 Y1:374 Y2:410 Better than either of my marriages.
X1:121 X2:601 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's something different about you. l don't know what, but it's great.
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think, if you let me, l could help you have more fun.
X1:229 X2:492 Y1:374 Y2:410 l know it's hard. Yeah.
X1:147 X2:574 Y1:374 Y2:410 What if we go away this weekend?
X1:141 X2:580 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why don't we get Rob, and the three of us would drive into Brooklyn?
X1:115 X2:607 Y1:334 Y2:409 We could show you the old neighborhood. That'd be fun for you.
X1:266 X2:455 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yeah, l'd love it.
X1:234 X2:488 Y1:374 Y2:410 God, it's a great day!
X1:245 X2:477 Y1:334 Y2:409 Watch the road! You'll total the car!
X1:194 X2:527 Y1:374 Y2:410 l've never been to Brooklyn.
X1:133 X2:589 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l can't wait to see the neighborhood. - The neighborhood will be great.
X1:144 X2:578 Y1:334 Y2:409 - We could show her the schoolyard. - l was a great athlete. Tell her.
X1:236 X2:486 Y1:374 Y2:410 l was all-schoolyard.
X1:170 X2:552 Y1:334 Y2:409 They threw him a football once. He tried to dribble it.
X1:259 X2:462 Y1:334 Y2:409 l used to lose my glasses a lot.
X1:200 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 Look! That's my old house. That's where l used to live.
X1:303 X2:418 Y1:374 Y2:410 Holy cow!
X1:119 X2:603 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're lucky. Where l used to live is now a pornographic equipment store.
X1:227 X2:495 Y1:334 Y2:409 l had some very good memories there.
X1:150 X2:572 Y1:334 Y2:409 What good memories, your mother and father fighting all the time?
X1:143 X2:578 Y1:374 Y2:410 And over the most ridiculous things.
X1:163 X2:558 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You fired the cleaning woman? - She was stealing!
X1:160 X2:562 Y1:334 Y2:409 But she's colored. The colored have enough trouble!
X1:152 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 - She was going through my purse. - They're persecuted enough.
X1:169 X2:553 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Who's persecuting? She stole! - So? We can afford it.
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 How can we afford it, on your pay? What if she steals more?
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 She's a colored woman from Harlem. She has no money.
X1:122 X2:599 Y1:334 Y2:409 She has a right to steal from us. Who can she steal from if not from us?
X1:231 X2:491 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You're both crazy. - They can't hear you.
X1:236 X2:485 Y1:374 Y2:410 Leo, l married a fool!
X1:279 X2:443 Y1:374 Y2:410 What's that?
X1:125 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's the welcome home party, 1945, for my cousin Herbie.
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:334 Y2:409 Look. That over there is Joey Nichols.
X1:130 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 He was my father's friend. He was always bothering me when l was a kid.
X1:279 X2:442 Y1:334 Y2:409 Joey Nichols. See? Nickels.
X1:254 X2:467 Y1:334 Y2:409 See? Nickels. You see? Nickels.
X1:139 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 You can always remember my name. Just think of Joey Five-Cents.
X1:258 X2:464 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's me. Joey Five-Cents.
X1:257 X2:465 Y1:374 Y2:410 What an asshole.
X1:168 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 The one who killed me the most was my mother's sister, Tessie.
X1:199 X2:523 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was always the sister with good common sense...
X1:174 X2:547 Y1:334 Y2:409 but Tessie was always the one with personality.
X1:164 X2:557 Y1:334 Y2:409 When she was younger, they all wanted to marry Tessie.
X1:231 X2:490 Y1:334 Y2:409 Do you believe Tessie had the personality?
X1:131 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 - She's the life of the ghetto no doubt. - She was once a great beauty.
X1:141 X2:580 Y1:334 Y2:409 Tessie, they say you were the sister with personality.
X1:231 X2:490 Y1:374 Y2:410 l was a great beauty!
X1:124 X2:597 Y1:334 Y2:409 - How did this personality come about? - l was very charming.
X1:226 X2:496 Y1:334 Y2:409 There were many men interested in you?
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:374 Y2:410 l was quite a lively dancer.
X1:214 X2:507 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's very hard to believe.
X1:123 X2:599 Y1:334 Y2:409 l had a really good day. lt was a fine way to spend my birthday.
X1:143 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Your birthday isn't until tomorrow. - But it's real close.
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:374 Y2:410 But no presents until midnight.
X1:263 X2:458 Y1:374 Y2:410 Happy birthday.
X1:172 X2:550 Y1:334 Y2:409 What is this? ls this a present? Are you kidding?
X1:181 X2:541 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yeah. Why don't you try it on?
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 - This is more like a present for you. - lt'll add ten years to our sex life.
X1:266 X2:455 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yeah. Forget it.
X1:229 X2:493 Y1:374 Y2:410 Here's a real present.
X1:222 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What is this anyway? - Check it out.
X1:218 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 You knew l wanted this. God, it's terrific!
X1:137 X2:585 Y1:334 Y2:409 Just put on the watch and that thing. lt'll be perfect.
X1:293 X2:428 Y1:374 Y2:410 Seems like
X1:300 X2:421 Y1:374 Y2:410 Old times
X1:292 X2:430 Y1:374 Y2:410 Having you
X1:281 X2:441 Y1:374 Y2:410 To walk with
X1:293 X2:428 Y1:374 Y2:410 Seems like
X1:300 X2:421 Y1:374 Y2:410 Old times
X1:215 X2:507 Y1:374 Y2:410 Having you to walk with
X1:246 X2:476 Y1:374 Y2:410 And it's still a thrill
X1:227 X2:495 Y1:374 Y2:410 Just to have my arms
X1:288 X2:433 Y1:374 Y2:410 Around you
X1:281 X2:441 Y1:374 Y2:410 Still the thrill
X1:240 X2:481 Y1:374 Y2:410 That it was the day
X1:292 X2:430 Y1:374 Y2:410 l found you
X1:293 X2:428 Y1:374 Y2:410 Seems like
X1:300 X2:421 Y1:374 Y2:410 Old times
X1:203 X2:518 Y1:374 Y2:410 Dinner dates and flowers
X1:300 X2:421 Y1:374 Y2:410 Old times
X1:239 X2:482 Y1:374 Y2:410 Staying up all hours
X1:200 X2:521 Y1:374 Y2:410 Making dreams come true
X1:230 X2:491 Y1:374 Y2:410 Doing things we used
X1:324 X2:397 Y1:374 Y2:410 To do
X1:293 X2:428 Y1:374 Y2:410 Seems like
X1:300 X2:421 Y1:374 Y2:410 Old times
X1:299 X2:423 Y1:374 Y2:410 Here with
X1:334 X2:388 Y1:374 Y2:410 You
X1:296 X2:426 Y1:374 Y2:410 Thank you.
X1:225 X2:496 Y1:374 Y2:410 You were sensational.
X1:202 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 l told you if you stuck to it, you would be great and--
X1:225 X2:496 Y1:374 Y2:410 You were sensational.
X1:142 X2:580 Y1:374 Y2:410 Yeah, they were a terrific audience.
X1:217 X2:505 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt makes it easy for me, because l can be--
X1:252 X2:470 Y1:334 Y2:409 Excuse me. Hi, l'm Tony Lacey.
X1:114 X2:608 Y1:334 Y2:409 - We wanted to say we enjoyed your set. - Yeah? Really?
X1:184 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 l thought it was very musical. l liked it a lot.
X1:254 X2:468 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's really nice. Thanks a lot.
X1:218 X2:503 Y1:334 Y2:409 Are you recording? Are you with any label?
X1:252 X2:469 Y1:374 Y2:410 Me? No, not at all.
X1:173 X2:549 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'd like to talk to you about that sometime if you get a chance.
X1:197 X2:525 Y1:374 Y2:410 Possibly working together.
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's nice. This is Alvy Singer. Do you know Alvy?
X1:189 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't, but l know your work. l'm a big fan of yours.
X1:166 X2:555 Y1:374 Y2:410 This is Shawn, Bob and Petronia.
X1:167 X2:554 Y1:374 Y2:410 We're going back to the Pierre...
X1:180 X2:541 Y1:334 Y2:409 and we're going to meet Jack and Angelica for a drink.
X1:227 X2:494 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf you'd like to come, we'd love to have you.
X1:243 X2:479 Y1:334 Y2:409 We can sit and talk. Not a big deal.
X1:199 X2:523 Y1:374 Y2:410 Just relax, be very mellow.
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:374 Y2:410 Remember we had that thing?
X1:285 X2:437 Y1:374 Y2:410 What thing?
X1:138 X2:584 Y1:374 Y2:410 Remember we discussed that thing?
X1:243 X2:478 Y1:334 Y2:409 Oh, the thing! Oh, the thing. Yeah.
X1:214 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 Well, if it's inconvenient, that's fine, too.
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 We'll do it another time. lf you're on the coast, we'll get together there.
X1:220 X2:502 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt was a wonderful set. l really enjoyed it.
X1:231 X2:491 Y1:334 Y2:409 Nice to have met you. Good night.
X1:176 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 What's the matter? You want to go to that party?
X1:213 X2:509 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know. l thought it might be fun.
X1:217 X2:504 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt would be nice to meet some new people.
X1:126 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't think l could take a mellow evening. l don't respond well to mellow.
X1:248 X2:474 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf l get too mellow, l ripen and rot.
X1:222 X2:499 Y1:334 Y2:409 - lt's not good for my-- - All right.
X1:155 X2:567 Y1:334 Y2:409 You don't want to go to the party. What do you want to do?
X1:135 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 That day in Brooklyn was the last day l remember having a good time.
X1:135 X2:586 Y1:334 Y2:409 - We never have any laughs anymore. - l've been moody and dissatisfied.
X1:144 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 - How often do you sleep together? - Do you have sex often?
X1:197 X2:524 Y1:334 Y2:409 Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.
X1:126 X2:596 Y1:334 Y2:409 Constantly. l'd say three times a week. Like the other night, Alvy wanted sex.
X1:190 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 She would not sleep with me the other night.
X1:147 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know. Six months ago l would have done it just to please him.
X1:252 X2:469 Y1:374 Y2:410 l tried everything.
X1:233 X2:488 Y1:334 Y2:409 l put on soft music and my red light bulb.
X1:161 X2:560 Y1:334 Y2:409 Since our discussions here, l feel l have a right to my own feelings.
X1:153 X2:568 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think you would have been happy, because l really asserted myself.
X1:192 X2:530 Y1:334 Y2:409 The incredible thing is, l'm paying for her analysis...
X1:211 X2:511 Y1:334 Y2:409 she's making progress, and l'm getting screwed.
X1:185 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 l feel so guilty, because Alvy is paying for it.
X1:219 X2:502 Y1:334 Y2:409 So l feel guilty if l don't sleep with him.
X1:153 X2:568 Y1:334 Y2:409 But if l do sleep with him, it's like l'm going against my own feelings.
X1:178 X2:543 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm not making any progress. - l can't win.
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 Sometimes l think l should live with a woman.
X1:143 X2:578 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't believe it. You guys have never snorted coke?
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 l always wanted to try, but Alvy's very down on it.
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 Don't put it on me. l don't want to put a wad of white powder in my nose.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:374 Y2:410 There's the nasal membrane.
X1:132 X2:590 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You never want to try anything new. - How can you say that?
X1:114 X2:607 Y1:334 Y2:409 l said you, l and that girl from acting class should sleep together.
X1:187 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 - That's sick. - l know it's sick, but it's new.
X1:158 X2:563 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You didn't say it couldn't be sick. - Come on, Alvy.
X1:184 X2:538 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Do your body a favor. Try it. - lt'll be fun.
X1:165 X2:557 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm sure it's fun, 'cause the lncas did it. They were a million laughs.
X1:187 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 For your own experience. You want to write. Why not?
X1:158 X2:564 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's great stuff, Alvy. A friend just brought it in from California.
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 l didn't tell you. We're going to California next week.
X1:180 X2:542 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's really a thrill, as you know.
X1:135 X2:586 Y1:334 Y2:409 On my agent's advice, l sold out and am going to do a TV appearance.
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's not it at all. Alvy's giving an award on TV.
X1:194 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 You act like you're violating a moral issue.
X1:113 X2:608 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's so phony. We have to leave New York during Christmas. lt kills me.
X1:147 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 Listen, while you're in California, could you score some coke for me?
X1:185 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 Sure, be glad to. l'll just put it in the hollow heel on my boot.
X1:206 X2:516 Y1:334 Y2:409 - How much is this stuff? - About $2,000 an ounce.
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 Really? And what is the kick of it?
X1:135 X2:586 Y1:334 Y2:409 l've never been so relaxed as l have been since l moved out here.
X1:196 X2:526 Y1:334 Y2:409 l want you to see my house. l live next to Hugh Hefner.
X1:126 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 And the women are like in Playboy, but they can move their arms and legs.
X1:209 X2:513 Y1:334 Y2:409 l can't get over that this is really Beverly Hills.
X1:137 X2:585 Y1:334 Y2:409 The architecture is really consistent. There's French next to Spanish...
X1:166 X2:555 Y1:374 Y2:410 next to Tudor next to Japanese.
X1:232 X2:489 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's so clean out here.
X1:109 X2:612 Y1:334 Y2:409 Because they don't throw garbage away. They make it into TV shows.
X1:144 X2:578 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Give us a break. lt's Christmas. - Can you believe this is Christmas?
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt was snowing and really gray in New York.
X1:237 X2:484 Y1:334 Y2:409 Nice. Santa Claus will have sun stroke.
X1:227 X2:494 Y1:334 Y2:409 Max, there's no crime, there's no mugging.
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:374 Y2:410 There's no economic crime...
X1:225 X2:497 Y1:334 Y2:409 but there's ritual, religious cult murders.
X1:234 X2:488 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's wheat-germ killers out here.
X1:179 X2:542 Y1:334 Y2:409 While you're out here, l want you to see my TV show.
X1:207 X2:514 Y1:334 Y2:409 And we're invited to a big Christmas party.
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:374 Y2:410 Charlie, give me a good laugh here.
X1:273 X2:448 Y1:374 Y2:410 A little bigger.
X1:195 X2:527 Y1:334 Y2:409 Do you realize how immoral this all is?
X1:242 X2:479 Y1:374 Y2:410 l've got a hit series.
X1:177 X2:544 Y1:374 Y2:410 But you're adding fake laughs.
X1:155 X2:566 Y1:374 Y2:410 Give me a tremendous laugh here.
X1:219 X2:502 Y1:334 Y2:409 We do the show live in front of an audience.
X1:168 X2:553 Y1:334 Y2:409 But nobody laughs, because the jokes aren't funny.
X1:140 X2:582 Y1:374 Y2:410 That's why this machine is dynamite.
X1:164 X2:558 Y1:374 Y2:410 Give me a medium chuckle here...
X1:241 X2:481 Y1:374 Y2:410 and then a big hand.
X1:215 X2:506 Y1:374 Y2:410 ls there booing on that?
X1:266 X2:456 Y1:374 Y2:410 l don't feel well.
X1:230 X2:491 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What's the matter? - l got very dizzy.
X1:283 X2:438 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l feel dizzy. - Sit down.
X1:321 X2:400 Y1:374 Y2:410 Jesus.
X1:226 X2:496 Y1:334 Y2:409 You all right? You want to lie down?
X1:239 X2:483 Y1:334 Y2:409 No. My stomach felt queasy all morning.
X1:213 X2:509 Y1:374 Y2:410 How about a ginger ale?
X1:206 X2:515 Y1:334 Y2:409 No. Maybe l'd better lie down.
X1:182 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 Try to get some of this down. lt's just plain chicken.
X1:248 X2:473 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, l can't eat this. l'm nauseous.
X1:130 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf you could get me something to get me through the next two hours.
X1:140 X2:582 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have to go to Burbank and give out an award on a TV show.
X1:170 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's nothing wrong with you as far as l can tell.
X1:155 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 You have no fever, no symptoms of anything serious.
X1:137 X2:584 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You haven't eaten pork or shellfish. - Excuse me. l'm sorry, Doctor.
X1:141 X2:581 Y1:334 Y2:409 Alvy, that was the show. Everything is fine. They found a replacement.
X1:153 X2:569 Y1:374 Y2:410 They're going to tape without you.
X1:149 X2:572 Y1:334 Y2:409 Jesus! Now l don't get to do the TV show?
X1:167 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l can't find any reason for this. - Nothing at all?
X1:179 X2:542 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l could get a lab man up here. - Hand me the salt, please.
X1:181 X2:541 Y1:334 Y2:409 Perhaps it would be better if we took him to the hospital.
X1:277 X2:445 Y1:374 Y2:410 The hospital?
X1:123 X2:598 Y1:334 Y2:409 - There's no other way to diagnose him. - This is not bad, actually.
X1:148 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 Don't tell me we're going to have to walk from the car to the house?
X1:147 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 My feet haven't touched pavement since l reached Los Angeles.
X1:145 X2:576 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'll take a meeting with you if you'll take a meeting with Freddy.
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 l took a meeting with Freddy. Freddy took a meeting with Charlie.
X1:155 X2:566 Y1:334 Y2:409 - You take a meeting with him. - All the good meetings are taken.
X1:197 X2:525 Y1:374 Y2:410 Right now it's only a notion.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 l think l can get money to make it into a concept, then turn it into an idea.
X1:232 X2:490 Y1:374 Y2:410 Like this house, Max?
X1:201 X2:521 Y1:334 Y2:409 Even wrote a road map to get us to the bathroom.
X1:201 X2:521 Y1:334 Y2:409 You should have told me it was Tony Lacey's party.
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:374 Y2:410 What difference does that make?
X1:176 X2:546 Y1:374 Y2:410 l think he has a thing for Annie.
X1:130 X2:592 Y1:334 Y2:409 - No. He goes with that girl over there. - Where?
X1:222 X2:499 Y1:334 Y2:409 - The one with the VPL. - VPL?
X1:255 X2:467 Y1:334 Y2:409 Visible panty line. She's gorgeous.
X1:119 X2:602 Y1:334 Y2:409 She's a ten. That's great for you, 'cause you're used to two's, aren't you?
X1:243 X2:479 Y1:374 Y2:410 There are no two's.
X1:135 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're used to the kind with shopping bags walking through Central Park...
X1:195 X2:526 Y1:334 Y2:409 with the surgical masks on, muttering.
X1:124 X2:597 Y1:334 Y2:409 How do you like this couple? They look like they're from Masters and Johnson.
X1:235 X2:486 Y1:334 Y2:409 lntensive care ward. My God!
X1:126 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l think she's giving me the eye. - lf she comes over, my brain will mush.
X1:203 X2:518 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're Alvy Singer, right? Didn't we meet at EST?
X1:223 X2:499 Y1:374 Y2:410 No, l was never to EST.
X1:173 X2:548 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Then how can you criticize it? - He didn't say anything.
X1:152 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 l came to get some shock therapy, but there was an energy crisis.
X1:108 X2:614 Y1:334 Y2:409 - He's my food taster. Have you two met? - How do you do?
X1:154 X2:568 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Do you taste for poisoned food? - Yeah, he's great.
X1:188 X2:534 Y1:334 Y2:409 You guys are wearing white. lt must be in the stars.
X1:142 X2:579 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Uri Geller must be on the premises. - We're going to operate together.
X1:181 X2:541 Y1:334 Y2:409 ln about six weeks we could cut the whole album.
X1:230 X2:491 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't know. This is strange to me.
X1:165 X2:557 Y1:334 Y2:409 You can stay here. Use the whole wing in this house.
X1:182 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Stay here? - Really. Why are you smiling?
X1:167 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 Not only is he a great agent, but he really gives good leading.
X1:180 X2:542 Y1:334 Y2:409 This is a great house: saunas, Jacuzzis, three tennis courts.
X1:111 X2:611 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know who the original owners were? Nelson Eddy then Legs Diamond.
X1:165 X2:556 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Then you know who lived here? - Trigger.
X1:147 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 Charlie Chaplin, right before his un-American thing.
X1:141 X2:580 Y1:334 Y2:409 - But you guys are still New Yorkers. - Yeah, l love it there.
X1:185 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 l used to live there for years, but it's so dirty now.
X1:172 X2:550 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l'm into garbage. lt's my thing. - This is a nice screening room.
X1:125 X2:596 Y1:374 Y2:410 There's another thing about New York.
X1:198 X2:524 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf you want to see a movie, you have to stand on line.
X1:179 X2:542 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt could be freezing or raining. And here--
X1:135 X2:587 Y1:374 Y2:410 We saw Grand lllusion here last night.
X1:162 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's a great film if you're high. lt's really funny.
X1:157 X2:564 Y1:334 Y2:409 Come and see our bedroom. We did a fantastic thing up there.
X1:312 X2:409 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm cool.
X1:149 X2:572 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's wonderful. They eat and watch movies all day.
X1:111 X2:610 Y1:334 Y2:409 And gradually you get old and die. lt's important to make an effort sometimes.
X1:138 X2:584 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Do you think his girlfriend's pretty? - She's great looking.
X1:166 X2:555 Y1:374 Y2:410 A little on the androgynous side.
X1:240 X2:481 Y1:374 Y2:410 l forgot my mantra.
X1:273 X2:448 Y1:374 Y2:410 That was fun.
X1:224 X2:498 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't think California is bad at all.
X1:211 X2:510 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's a drag coming home.
X1:203 X2:518 Y1:334 Y2:409 A lot of beautiful women. lt was fun to flirt.
X1:233 X2:488 Y1:374 Y2:410 l have to face facts.
X1:160 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 l adore Alvy, but our relationship doesn't seem to work anymore.
X1:206 X2:516 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'll have the usual trouble with Annie in bed tonight.
X1:242 X2:479 Y1:374 Y2:410 Why do l need this?
X1:153 X2:568 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf only l had the nerve to break up, but it would really hurt him.
X1:202 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf only l didn't feel guilty asking Annie to move out.
X1:213 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt'd probably wreck her, but l should be honest.
X1:253 X2:468 Y1:374 Y2:410 Alvy, let's face it.
X1:192 X2:529 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't think our relationship is working.
X1:231 X2:491 Y1:334 Y2:409 l know. A relationship is like a shark:
X1:213 X2:509 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt has to constantly move forward or it dies.
X1:187 X2:535 Y1:334 Y2:409 And l think what we've got on our hands is a dead shark.
X1:150 X2:572 Y1:334 Y2:409 - Whose Catcher in the Rye is this? - lf it has my name on it...
X1:262 X2:459 Y1:374 Y2:410 l guess it's mine.
X1:134 X2:588 Y1:334 Y2:409 You wrote your name in all my books, 'cause you knew this day would come.
X1:215 X2:507 Y1:334 Y2:409 You wanted to break up just as much as l do.
X1:182 X2:540 Y1:334 Y2:409 No question. l think we're doing the mature thing.
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 Look. All the books on death and dying are yours.
X1:154 X2:567 Y1:374 Y2:410 And all the poetry books are mine.
X1:179 X2:542 Y1:334 Y2:409 Denial of Death. This is the first book l got you.
X1:230 X2:491 Y1:374 Y2:410 Remember that day?
X1:189 X2:532 Y1:334 Y2:409 l feel like there's a great weight off my back.
X1:271 X2:451 Y1:374 Y2:410 Thanks, honey.
X1:144 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 l mean, no. l think it's important for us to explore new relationships.
X1:116 X2:606 Y1:334 Y2:409 There's no question about that, because we've given this a more than fair shot.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 My analyst thinks this move is key for me.
X1:124 X2:598 Y1:334 Y2:409 And l trust her, because my analyst recommended her.
X1:138 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why should l put you through all my moods and hang-ups anyway?
X1:104 X2:617 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know what the beauty part is? We can always come back together again.
X1:233 X2:489 Y1:334 Y2:409 - There's no problem. - Exactly.
X1:129 X2:593 Y1:334 Y2:409 l don't think many couples could handle this, break up and remain friends.
X1:245 X2:477 Y1:334 Y2:409 This button is mine. Remember?
X1:118 X2:603 Y1:334 Y2:409 These are yours. "lmpeach Eisenhower." "lmpeach Nixon."
X1:197 X2:524 Y1:334 Y2:409 "lmpeach Lyndon Johnson." "lmpeach Ronald Reagan."
X1:206 X2:516 Y1:334 Y2:409 l miss Annie. l made a terrible mistake.
X1:204 X2:517 Y1:334 Y2:409 She's living in Los Angeles with Tony Lacey.
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf she is, then the hell with her. lf she likes that lifestyle, let her stay.
X1:204 X2:518 Y1:334 Y2:409 - He's a jerk for one thing. - He graduated Harvard.
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 Harvard makes mistakes, too. Kissinger taught there.
X1:188 X2:533 Y1:374 Y2:410 Don't tell me you're jealous?
X1:202 X2:520 Y1:334 Y2:409 Yeah. Jealous? A little bit. Like Medea.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 Can l show you something? l found this in the apartment.
X1:128 X2:594 Y1:334 Y2:409 Black soap. She used to wash her face 800 times a day with black soap.
X1:252 X2:470 Y1:374 Y2:410 Don't ask me why.
X1:114 X2:607 Y1:374 Y2:410 Why don't you go out with other women?
X1:213 X2:508 Y1:334 Y2:409 l tried, but it's very depressing.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 This always happens to me. Quick! Get a broom!
X1:225 X2:497 Y1:334 Y2:409 What are you making such a big deal about?
X1:230 X2:492 Y1:374 Y2:410 They're only lobsters.
X1:125 X2:597 Y1:334 Y2:409 -You're adult. You can pick up lobsters. -l'm not myself since l quit smoking.
X1:239 X2:483 Y1:334 Y2:409 - When did you quit? - Sixteen years ago.
X1:233 X2:489 Y1:334 Y2:409 - What do you mean? - Mean?
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 You stopped smoking 16 years ago. ls that what you said?
X1:247 X2:474 Y1:374 Y2:410 l don't understand.
X1:213 X2:508 Y1:374 Y2:410 Are you joking or what?
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:374 Y2:410 Central Park's turning green.
X1:162 X2:559 Y1:334 Y2:409 l saw that lunatic we used to see with the pinwheel hat...
X1:228 X2:494 Y1:374 Y2:410 and the roller-skates.
X1:138 X2:584 Y1:374 Y2:410 Listen, l want you to come back here.
X1:134 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 Well, then l'm going to come out there and get you.
X1:169 X2:553 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you mean, where am l? Where do you think l am?
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'm at the Los Angeles airport. l flew in.
X1:246 X2:476 Y1:374 Y2:410 l flew in to see you.
X1:219 X2:502 Y1:334 Y2:409 Can we not debate this on the telephone...
X1:158 X2:563 Y1:374 Y2:410 because l've got a temperature...
X1:199 X2:522 Y1:334 Y2:409 and l'm getting my chronic Los Angeles nausea again.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 Wherever you want to meet. l don't care.
X1:273 X2:448 Y1:334 Y2:409 l'll drive in. l rented a car.
X1:293 X2:429 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm driving.
X1:181 X2:540 Y1:334 Y2:409 What, is that such a miracle? l'm driving myself.
X1:129 X2:593 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm going to have the alfalfa sprouts...
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:374 Y2:410 and a plate of mashed yeast.
X1:263 X2:459 Y1:374 Y2:410 You look pretty.
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 No, l just lost a little weight, that's all.
X1:249 X2:472 Y1:374 Y2:410 Well, you look nice.
X1:183 X2:538 Y1:374 Y2:410 l think we should get married.
X1:304 X2:417 Y1:374 Y2:410 Come on.
X1:170 X2:551 Y1:334 Y2:409 Why, you want to live out here? lt's like living in Munchkinland.
X1:196 X2:526 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you mean? lt's perfectly fine out here.
X1:260 X2:462 Y1:374 Y2:410 Tony's very nice.
X1:193 X2:529 Y1:334 Y2:409 l meet people, go to parties and play tennis.
X1:181 X2:541 Y1:374 Y2:410 That's a very big step for me.
X1:180 X2:541 Y1:374 Y2:410 l'm able to enjoy people more.
X1:177 X2:544 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're not going to come back to New York?
X1:121 X2:601 Y1:334 Y2:409 What's so great about New York? lt's a dying city. You read Death in Venice.
X1:172 X2:549 Y1:334 Y2:409 You didn't read Death in Venice until l bought it for you.
X1:139 X2:583 Y1:334 Y2:409 That's right. You only gave me books with the word "death" in the title.
X1:167 X2:555 Y1:374 Y2:410 Because it's an important issue.
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're incapable of enjoying life. You know that?
X1:204 X2:518 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're like New York City. You're just this person.
X1:146 X2:576 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're like this island unto yourself.
X1:231 X2:490 Y1:334 Y2:409 l can't enjoy anything unless everybody is.
X1:161 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf one guy is starving someplace, it puts a crimp in my evening.
X1:185 X2:536 Y1:374 Y2:410 Do you want to get married?
X1:251 X2:470 Y1:374 Y2:410 No. We're friends.
X1:211 X2:511 Y1:374 Y2:410 l want to remain friends.
X1:275 X2:446 Y1:374 Y2:410 Check please.
X1:215 X2:507 Y1:374 Y2:410 You're mad, aren't you?
X1:159 X2:562 Y1:334 Y2:409 Yes, of course l'm mad, because you love me. l know that.
X1:201 X2:521 Y1:334 Y2:409 l can't say that that's true at this point in my life.
X1:190 X2:531 Y1:374 Y2:410 l really can't say that's true.
X1:156 X2:565 Y1:374 Y2:410 You know how wonderful you are.
X1:123 X2:598 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're the reason l got out of my room, that l was able to sing...
X1:127 X2:595 Y1:334 Y2:409 and get more in touch with my feelings and all that crap.
X1:280 X2:442 Y1:374 Y2:410 Listen, listen.
X1:220 X2:502 Y1:374 Y2:410 So what are you up to?
X1:186 X2:536 Y1:334 Y2:409 The usual. l'm trying to write. l'm working on a play.
X1:128 X2:593 Y1:334 Y2:409 Are you saying you're not coming back to New York with me?
X1:298 X2:424 Y1:334 Y2:409 No. Look. l gotta go.
X1:184 X2:537 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you mean? l flew 3,000 miles to see you.
X1:165 X2:556 Y1:334 Y2:409 Air miles. Do you know what that does to my stomach?
X1:202 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 lf you must know, it's a hectic time for Tony.
X1:193 X2:528 Y1:334 Y2:409 - The Grammys are tonight. - The what?
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 The Grammys. He's got a lot of records up for awards.
X1:153 X2:568 Y1:334 Y2:409 They give awards for that music? l thought just ear plugs.
X1:208 X2:513 Y1:334 Y2:409 Just forget it. Let's just forget the conversation.
X1:137 X2:584 Y1:334 Y2:409 They do nothing but give out awards. l can't believe it.
X1:197 X2:524 Y1:334 Y2:409 Greatest Fascist Dictator: Adolph Hitler.
X1:167 X2:554 Y1:334 Y2:409 l know what you're going to say. l'm not a great driver.
X1:167 X2:555 Y1:334 Y2:409 - l have some problems with-- - May l see your license, please?
X1:234 X2:488 Y1:374 Y2:410 Just don't get angry.
X1:226 X2:496 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have my license here. lt's a rented car.
X1:176 X2:545 Y1:374 Y2:410 Don't give me your life's story.
X1:217 X2:504 Y1:374 Y2:410 Just pick up the license.
X1:146 X2:575 Y1:334 Y2:409 You have to ask nicely, because l've had a rough day. My girlfriend--
X1:166 X2:556 Y1:374 Y2:410 Just give me the license, please.
X1:202 X2:519 Y1:334 Y2:409 Since you put it that way, it's hard for me to refuse.
X1:213 X2:509 Y1:334 Y2:409 l have a terrific problem with authority.
X1:226 X2:496 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's not your fault. Don't take it personal.
X1:261 X2:460 Y1:334 Y2:409 So long, fellows. Keep in touch.
X1:238 X2:484 Y1:334 Y2:409 lmagine my surprise when l got your call.
X1:201 X2:521 Y1:334 Y2:409 Yeah. l had the feeling l got you at a bad moment.
X1:175 X2:546 Y1:374 Y2:410 l heard high-pitched squealing.
X1:290 X2:432 Y1:374 Y2:410 Twins, Max.
X1:246 X2:475 Y1:374 Y2:410 Sixteen-year-olds.
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:334 Y2:409 Can you imagine the mathematical possibilities of that?
X1:142 X2:580 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're an actor. You should be doing Shakespeare in the park.
X1:182 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 l did Shakespeare in the park. l got mugged.
X1:130 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 l was playing Richard ll. Two guys with leather jackets stole my leotard.
X1:149 X2:572 Y1:374 Y2:410 Are we driving through plutonium?
X1:204 X2:517 Y1:334 Y2:409 Keeps out the alpha rays. You don't get old.
X1:151 X2:570 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're a thinking person. How can you choose this lifestyle?
X1:150 X2:571 Y1:374 Y2:410 What is so great about New York?
X1:206 X2:516 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt's a dying city. You read Death in Venice.
X1:172 X2:549 Y1:334 Y2:409 You didn't read Death in Venice until l gave it to you.
X1:160 X2:561 Y1:334 Y2:409 You only give me books with the word "death" in the title.
X1:153 X2:569 Y1:334 Y2:409 - lt's an important issue. - You're incapable of enjoying life.
X1:232 X2:490 Y1:334 Y2:409 You're like New York. You're an island.
X1:156 X2:565 Y1:334 Y2:409 Okay. lf that's all that we've been through together means to you...
X1:145 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 it's better if we just said good-bye, once and for all.
X1:300 X2:421 Y1:374 Y2:410 lt's funny.
X1:197 X2:524 Y1:334 Y2:409 After all the serious talks and passionate moments...
X1:160 X2:562 Y1:334 Y2:409 that it ends here, in a health food restaurant on Sunset Boulevard.
X1:262 X2:459 Y1:374 Y2:410 Good-bye, Sally.
X1:216 X2:505 Y1:334 Y2:409 Wait. l'm going to go with you.
X1:302 X2:420 Y1:374 Y2:410 l love you.
X1:239 X2:483 Y1:334 Y2:409 What do you want? lt was my first play.
X1:128 X2:594 Y1:334 Y2:409 You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art...
X1:168 X2:553 Y1:374 Y2:410 because it's real difficult in life.
X1:211 X2:510 Y1:334 Y2:409 lnterestingly, however, l did run into Annie again.
X1:179 X2:543 Y1:334 Y2:409 lt was on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
X1:135 X2:587 Y1:334 Y2:409 She had moved back to New York. She was living in Soho with some guy.
X1:131 X2:591 Y1:334 Y2:409 When l met her, she was dragging him in to see The Sorrow and the Pity...
X1:222 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 which l counted as a personal triumph.
X1:221 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 Annie and l had lunch sometime after that...
X1:160 X2:562 Y1:374 Y2:410 and just kicked around old times.
X1:229 X2:492 Y1:374 Y2:410 Just to have my arms
X1:291 X2:431 Y1:374 Y2:410 Around you
X1:283 X2:438 Y1:374 Y2:410 Still the thrill
X1:243 X2:479 Y1:374 Y2:410 That it was the day
X1:294 X2:427 Y1:374 Y2:410 l found you
X1:296 X2:426 Y1:374 Y2:410 Seems like
X1:303 X2:419 Y1:374 Y2:410 Old times
X1:206 X2:516 Y1:374 Y2:410 Dinner dates and flowers
X1:303 X2:419 Y1:374 Y2:410 Old times
X1:221 X2:500 Y1:334 Y2:409 After that, it got late and we both had to go.
X1:139 X2:582 Y1:374 Y2:410 But it was great seeing Annie again.
X1:160 X2:562 Y1:334 Y2:409 l realize what a terrific person she was...
X1:209 X2:513 Y1:334 Y2:409 and how much fun it was just knowing her.
X1:177 X2:545 Y1:374 Y2:410 And l thought of that old joke.
X1:144 X2:577 Y1:334 Y2:409 This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy.
X1:209 X2:513 Y1:374 Y2:410 He thinks he's a chicken."
X1:191 X2:531 Y1:334 Y2:409 The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?"
X1:183 X2:539 Y1:334 Y2:409 The guy says, "l would, but l need the eggs."
X1:148 X2:573 Y1:334 Y2:409 Well, l guess that's, now, how l feel about relationships.
X1:205 X2:517 Y1:334 Y2:409 They're totally irrational, crazy and absurd.
X1:131 X2:591 Y1:374 Y2:410 But l guess we keep going through it...
X1:147 X2:574 Y1:374 Y2:410 because most of us need the eggs.
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