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Beavis and Butt-head Do America (1996)

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This is cool.
Cut it out, butthole.
Hey, baby. I'm like, pretty tall.
Cut it out, I'm trying to score!
Look at me, you buttholes.
- How's it going? - No way, Beavis, I saw her first.
- Dammit, I'm gonna kick your ass! - I saw her first. Get out of here.
Butt-head! Butt-head, wake up!
- Dammit, Beavis, I was about to score! - Yeah, but check it out. It's gone.
- What? - The TV.
- Oh, yeah. Well, where is it? - I don't know.
I just woke up, and it was gone. And look, the window's broken too.
A couple hundred bucks for this baby.
- I think I just figured something out. - What?
- This sucks. - Yeah, it really sucks.
This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.
We must find this butthole that took our TV.
It's not in here.
What are we gonna do, Butt-head? What if we never find it?
Settle down, Beavis.
Hey, wait a minute. I don't wanna go to school! We gotta find our TV.
Shut up, Beavis, I got an idea.
Let's just wheel this thing back to the house.
Excuse me, boys. What's going on here?
- Someone stole our TV. - Yeah, we're gonna use this one. Move.
I'm afraid that TV belongs to the school.
This could be a really positive experience for you guys.
There's an exciting world out there. We don't need TV to entertain us.
He said "anus".
Entertain us. Anus. Oh, yeah.
Have you guys heard a word I said?
- Yeah, "anus". - Yeah, I heard it too.
Just take the TV back to the AV room, right now.
And try to be a little more open to life experiences.
What a dork.
Just get it over here.
- That was cool. - No, it wasn't!
Oh, yeah.
What's going on out here? Oh, no!
- That belongs to the school. - It's supposed to be in the AV room.
Get back here! Beavis and Butt-head, you're both expelled!
Check it out, Beavis. I didn't know Anderson had a camper.
Maybe it has a TV.
Are you boys here to look at the refrigerator?.
- No. - We're here to look at the TV.
Tom didn't tell me it was broken. Go on in.
That should hold. The most important thing you can have on a camper -
- is a good butane regulator. And this here's the best one they make.
- I hope we can get that fridge fixed. - We've saved for this trip forever.
We're going come hell or high water. What in the hell is that?
Must be them damn buzzard hawks.
Gotta get me something to drink.
- This crap is warm! - You butthole, you broke it!
I know. Dammit!
- What the hell's going on here? - They're here to fix the TV.
- The TV ain't broken. - Yeah, it is.
You two look kind of familiar.
Ain't you them kids that have been whacking off in my tool shed?
- We still don't have a TV, Butt-head. - I know, Beavis.
- Dammit! I can't sleep without a TV! - Dumb-ass.
- What's your problem, Beavis? - I need TV.
I need TV now, dammit!
- Dammit. - No ...
- Dammit. - No ...
You sure these guys can pull this off? It's got to look like an accident.
Beavis and Butt-head! You little bastards!
- Can we watch your TV? - No, you're expelled. Get out of here!
I need a TV now. We're missing everything.
Hold on a minute. That must be them. I'll call you back. Come in!
TV, yeah!
- You're late. - Really?. Did we miss "Baywatch"?
Earl said you guys were young, but Jeez ...
As long as you can get the job done. What are your names?
- Butt-head. - I'm Beavis.
I don't wanna know your real names anyway. Mine's Muddy.
I'll get right to the point. 10 grand plus expenses, payable after you do her.
Do her?.
I'm offering you $10,000 plus expenses to do my wife. We got a deal?
- Actually, we just wanna watch TV. - Shut up, Beavis.
- Yeah, we'll do your wife. - No, I wanna watch TV.
Dammit, Beavis, you butt-munch. He wants us to score with his wife.
And he's gonna pay us. We can buy a new TV.
Really?. Cool.
- We'll do it, sir. - Let's get down to business.
Here she is, boys. Her name's Dallas. She ain't as sweet as she looks.
She stole everything from me. She'll do you twice as fast as you do her.
She's holed up in a room in Las Vegas. I got you a room right next to hers.
- I'll drive you to the airport. - "Holed up".
Hole ...
- Can we watch some TV first? - No.
Listen, this is real important.
My wife's got this leather satchel.
It's a black bag about this big. Bring it back.
Sentimental value. Any questions so far?.
Does she have big hooters?
She sure does.
This is gonna be cool.
You guys are funny. Let's have a drink on it.
Don't let me down.
We're gonna get paid to score.
Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with two remotes.
Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.
Here you are.
Hey Beavis, she touched my butt.
- Are you to heading for Las Vegas? - Yeah, we're gonna score.
I hope to score big there myself. I'm mostly gonna be doing the slots.
I'm hoping to do some sluts, too.
- Do they have a lot of sluts in Vegas? - You won't know where to begin.
Butt-head, this chick is pretty cool. She says there's lots of sluts in Vegas.
It's so nice to meet young men who are so well-mannered.
I'm gonna have money, a big-screen TV, and there's gonna be sluts everywhere.
- It's gonna rule. - Well, that's nice.
... forpre-flightsafetyinstructions.
To fasten yourseatbelt, insert the free end into the coupling.
"Insert" ...
Hi, can I help you with that?
- There you go. All set. - I love you.
Cut it out! I want her to do it.
Come to Butt-head.
Flight attendants, prepare for take-off..
Hey, what's going on?
- We're gonna die! We're all gonna die! - Come to Butt-head.
Could you, like, do that thing with my belt again?
- This is her. - She looks lovely.
I'm probably gonna make out with her before we ... get down, you know?.
You have to speak up, son. I have this ringing in my ears.
My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations.
Really?. I poop too much.
Maybe you're lactose intolerant.
No, I poop too much. And then I get tired.
Tired? I know all about tired, dear.
I have just the thing for you. Take a couple of these.
- They perk me right up. - Thanks.
Tastes like crap.
- What else you got? - Go right ahead. Help yourself.
So ... going to Las Vegas?
Our dinner selections for tonight are chicken piccata or seafood gumbo.
- Does the gumbo have corn in it? - Cornholio needs piccata for bunghole!
- You'll have to wait your turn, sir. - My bunghole will not wait.
Hey, I got a beer. Want some?
I am Cornholio!
- Get the hell out of the cockpit! - You said ...
This is Las Vegas?
I thought there'd be casinos and lights and stuff.
- Why's that guy holding a sign? - Maybe he's blind.
Check this out.
Excuse me, would you guys know where I could find these guys?
Someone named Boot?
- This says "Beavis". - And "Boot-head".
"Butt-head". Don't you get it? These dudes have the same names as us.
- Really?. We should party. - This way, sirs.
So where are those guys?
- Where the hell is he? - You sure this is the right place?
- You Muddy?. - You the cops?
No. Earl sent us. You know, to take care of your wife.
What the hell are you talking about?
Who were those other two clowns? Dammit!
She did it to me again! I'm kill all three of them!
I noticed your TV was broken. You wanna buy a new one?
- Leave it. Worthless piece of crap. - Let's start stealing from rich people.
I'm sorry about that misunderstanding. We didn't know you were hotel guests.
- If there's anything we can do to ... - Dammit. The thing's stuck.
- It's attached to the ... - Dumb-ass, let me try.
That guy's still standing there.
Could you, like, not stand there?
- Some people are dumb. - Yeah, really.
Check it out, Beavis.
I wonder where this goes.
I think I hear a chick.
Really?. Cool!
Who are you? CIA? FBl? ATF?
Hey, it's her!
Hey, baby. Are we, like, gonna do it?
- You got two seconds. - Is that gonna be enough time?
- Who sent you? - This drunk dude.
He said he was gonna pay us to do you.
Muddy ... son of a bitch. What's he paying you?
- Ten ... - Ten grand?
That cheap ass.
I got a better deal for you. I'll double it if you go back and do him.
You want us to do a guy?. No way.
I don't know. That is a lot of money.
Maybe if we pretend he's a chick ...
Damn. You two wait right there.
- I'm ready for love. - I don't believe this.
Give me the number for Dream America Tours.
You got a bus leaving today?. Where's it going?
Washington D.C. Five minutes? Perfect. Give me two tickets.
- No way, you always go first. - We've never done this before.
- Wanna ... you know ... - ... do it? We're finally gonna score!
Do it ..? You guys wanna score?
- You wait here. - Bunghole!
Don't wear yourselves out, boys. Save some energy for me.
- This is it. We're finally gonna score. - Thank God.
Oh yeah, we're gonna do it, all right.
Boys ... boys ...
First you have to do a little job for me. Would you like to do a job for me?
Here's what it is: I want you to take the bus to Washington D.C.
And when you get there, I'll be waiting.
You'll make a lot of money.
And I'm gonna give you everything.
Until then, keep your pants on.
Your bus is downstairs waiting, so get going.
This is gonna be cool.
- I want the window. - Why don't you take turns?
- It's that slut from the plane. - Oh, it's you two.
- How'd you do in Las Vegas? - We didn't score yet.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Me, I took a beating.
So I'm bussing across America. I'm so glad you're here.
Jim, I want you to meet two nice boys.
This is Travis and Bob. What's your last name, dear?.
Head. My first name's Butt.
Agent Flemming, ATF.
Tell us where it is, or Agent Hurly will give you another cavity search.
- Is that a promise? - We know who you are. Tell her, Bork.
Dallas Grimes. Wife of Muddy Grimes. You run an arms smuggling ring.
You got my bad side.
Three days ago you pulled a job at the Army Research Facility.
You stole the X-5 unit. You had it with you when you checked in.
Be a good girl and tell us where it is.
You gonna charge me with anything? I didn't think so.
Should I have my lawyer file a "wrongful arrest"?
We got nothing. We can only hold her for another few hours.
Dammit! Cut her loose. Where's that damn unit?
We're in Washington. We're gonna score now.
Actually, we're at the Hoover Dam.
- No, we're in Washington! - We're gonna score now.
Over 40,000 tons of concrete were used to build the dam.
The dam is 51 storeys high.
It can generate 2.074 megawatts of electricity.
But on the average, it generates 25%%% of that.
Anyone know how much energy it takes to power Las Vegas?
I have a question. Is this a god-dam?
- Follow me this way. - This is dumb. Let's go find that chick.
Yeah, enough of this crap. Check it out.
- TV. - Cool.
I've got to hit the head. Can you get me some coffee?
Talk to me, Bork.
A witness saw two boys leaving Dallas' room shortly before we arrived.
- Did you give him a cavity search? - The witness?
- You can never be too careful. - I didn't think it was necessary.
We have a picture of them from the elevator security cam.
They look like a couple of kids.
Don't you realise what kids today are capable of?
- All they have is shows about water. - They need some shows about fire.
- What are you doing, Beavis? - Something's wrong with my butt.
Your butt sucks.
- How come there's no sound? - I'll fix it.
There you go. Louder! Louder!
"Master" ... Masturbation.
It doesn't get any better than this. This here's God's country. Unspoiled ...
I think I found the remote.
What the hell's going on?
That's all I know. They got on the bus. It was probably heading west.
- Please! - I'm gonna kill them!
- That was boring. - The same thing over and over again.
We can't leave Washington till we find that chick.
We're a long ways from Washington. This is the Hoover Dam.
Dam ... I'll be damned.
You boys better show up.
- You see what I see, Bork?. - I see it, I just don't get it.
Half the state's looking for you, how do you get away?.
- Cut the power. - We're dealing with pros. Terrorists.
- What's the scoop on that stolen unit? - It's not good. Roll the tape.
The X-5 is a new biological weapon. A man-made virus.
The deadliest known to man. It can wipe out five states in five days.
Here's what happened when it was tested on army recruits.
Look at these guys. This thing is a veritable doomsday device.
If this were to fall into the wrong hands ...
And the casing is flawed. If hit hard, it can break open, releasing the virus.
These are the most dangerous men in America.
I want these faces in front of every Fed and sheriff for 1 ,000 miles.
The orders are, dead or alive. Let's pray that nothing hits that unit.
- Cut it out, Butt-head. - I want to sit by the window.
Next stop, Grand Canyon.
It's like it's coming out of his ass.
It's coming out of the ass of the ass.
The poop's coming out of the ass of the ass.
There are over 200 active geysers in Yellowstone Park.
Old Faithful here is one of the largest.
During an eruption, the water can reach as high as 200 feet.
The geyser shoots out 12,000 gallons of water in a single eruption.
- That's not that much. - Let's get out of here.
If you'll step over here, the geyser is seconds away ...
- It's incredible. - Yeah, that's amazing.
- That's incredible. - That's amazing.
Can't wait forever.
Damn kids. No respect.
They don't appreciate anything. Oh, my God!
Wait! Stop! Darn it. Get me the police.
This is the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Chief, we got 'em. They're on a senior citizens' tour bus going south on 89.
That was great.
Is this the right bus?
Hey Beavis, we're on a bus with chicks. Hey, baby.
- They're not on the bus. - I want full cavity searches.
- Go deep on 'em. - Agent Hurly.
These guys are damn smart. They're probably a hundred miles away by now.
This book kicks ass. There's a talking snake -
- and a naked chick, and then this dude puts a leaf on his schlong.
- Check it out, porta-potties. - Cool, I gotta take a dump.
Where's the toilet?
Forgive me, Father, I've sinned. I slept with a woman.
Really?. Was she naked?
- Yes, Father. Please forgive me. - Cool.
Could you, like, see her boobs?
- I'm sorry, how many Hail Marys? - A thousand.
And I want you to hit yourself right now. Do it!
Harder! Do it again!
Welcome to the petrified forest, the world's largestslte ofpetrified wood.
You may wonder, how can wood getso hard?
The wood became hard over two million years ago.
Wood ...
- Hey, where'd those chicks go? - I think you scared them off.
This sucks. What are we doing here?
I don't know.
Do you know where Washington is?
- About 2,000 miles that way. - Cool. Thanks.
Didn't see which way they went. I don't suppose you tried to stop them?
The most dangerous guys in America? I make $9 an hour.
National security is a responsibility of every American. Bork ...
- Cavity search? - Deep and hard.
I want roadblocks. Every road out of here for 200 miles.
This sucks. It's all hot and stuff.
This desert is stupid. They need to put a drinking fountain out here.
Yeah, like a 7-1 1 or something.
- Something wrong? - We're looking for these two.
That's them two kids that have been whacking in my camper.
- You saw these two? - I never seen two kids whack so much.
- Blue Den, I have positive ID. - They're like two spider monkeys.
- Please step out of the vehicle. - But we're on our way to Washington ...
Wait right there. You're dealing with a veteran of two foreign wars.
If I find anything broken in there, you and I are gonna tangle.
Masturbating in a man's camper. We're dealing with two sick individuals.
I want that camper torn apart. Full cavity searches all around.
Something tells me he could be involved.
Chief, an airline had a problem with someone calling himself Cornholio.
- Guess who matches the description? - Finally, a real break!
Get that flight's point of origin. We're gonna kick some ass.
One of you bastards got a match?
Yeah, my butt and your ... butt.
Here's a song that might help you cope with some of those feelings.
It's called "Lesbian Seagull".
She flies so gracefully overrocks, trees and sand
soaring over cliffs and gently floating down to land
she proudly lifts her voice to sound the mating call
and soon hermate responds bysinging "caw, caw, caw"
come wlth me lesbian seagull
settle down and rest wlth me
flyhigh lesbian seagull...
That's him! He's their teacher!
- What's going on here? - I'll ask the questions.
- Are these your students? - I assume you're a government agent.
You must know there's something in this country called "due process".
That's what I'd expect from the guy who taught these two. Take him away.
I believe I'm supposed to be read my Miranda rights.
- I always knew they were no good. - Shut up.
You've been harbouring two criminal masterminds.
You know that guy whose camper they whacked off in?
You represent the US Government.
Never end a sentence with a preposition.
You know that guy, in whose camper they ...
That guy off in whose camper they were whacking?
We ran a sample through the sperm bank. There's two possible fathers.
Former Motley Crue roadies turned drifters.
- You were a roadie for Motley Crue? - Yep.
Here's another true story: 15 years ago, we stopped in a toilet called Highland.
Really?. That's where we're from.
Then you know what I'm talking about.
- I scored with these two chicks. - Yeah, me too.
- You scored with two chicks? - Yeah, they were sluts.
Shut up, dumb ass. You didn't score. I scored with both of them.
Do you think these two sluts still live in Highland?
That would be cool.
You wanna see something really cool?
Fire! Cool ...
Where'd those guys go?
- Are we almost there yet? - Probably another five minutes or so.
The sun sucks.
Cut it out, butthole!
Hey Butt-head, isn't there supposed to be water in cactuses?
Hey Beavis, check it out.
No, I can't say that I've seen them. I hope it's safe to drive around here.
Just stick to the main roads. They're probably hiding in the desert.
That's good to know.
- Hey Butt-head, are we gonna die? - Probably.
I think my life is, like, flashing in front of my eyes.
My life was cool.
Wait a minute, I think I'm seeing something, too.
It's a really long time ago.
This is gonna be cool.
How's it going?
Yeah, I scored.
Butt-head, I'm starting to feel weird.
- I think I'm freaking out. - Okay.
This is cool. Everything looks all weird.
There's all these weird shapes. It's like a music video.
What's going on?
Fire! Fire!
I'm all wet. Cool ... water.
I'm gonna enjoy this. Any last words before I kill you?
I have a couple. "Butt-cheeks".
And "boobs". I just want to say that again. Boobs.
- I'm gonna blow you both to hell! - Cool.
Beavis, that's that dude that's paying us to do his wife.
Can you take us to Washington? We're gonna meet her there and ...
That's where she's meeting up with you?
I just might need you boys after all. Get in the trunk. Both of you. Now!
- Boy, it sure is hard to score. - Yeah, really.
Hey Butt-head, check it out. Ajack.
Hey Beavis, check it out. I'm jacking off.
Let's get out of here.
You go first.
I don't know, that road's moving pretty fast.
Just run really fast as soon as you hit the ground. It'll work.
- No way. You go. - Don't be a wuss.
That was cool.
What I wouldn't give for five minutes alone with them two bastards.
Bob, the news out here is not good. Authorities are calling this -
- the worsthighway disaster in the nation's history.
Over 400 vehicles lay wrecked orstuck.
- Chief, look! - Well I'll be a blue-nosed gopher.
- Where did they come from? - The question's, where are they going?
Representatives from G-PAC willmeet in Washington tomorrow ...
What the hell ..? Bork, where was that bus heading?
- D.C. - Jesus jumped up ...
What would happen if they set that thing off in Washington?
Or if they sold it to some foreigner at that conference? It won't happen.
This kicks ass.
- Travis and Bob-head. Hello! - Butt-head, it's that chick.
Oh, yeah. Cool.
Maybe they can take us to Washington and we can finally score.
- Isn't Seattle in Washington? - Yep, it sure is.
Cool. I'm thinking we can go see Hole after we score.
"Hole" ...
Expecting somebody?. Well, well ...
Look at this. The love of my life. Where have you been?
Honey, I was gonna split it with you after I sold it. I swear.
But now you don't have to bother.
Why don't we just forget about it and go get a room, like old times?
I don't think so. Where is it?
Allsenators are requested for a vote.
- Can I help you? - We're looking for Washington.
We're meeting a chick with big hooters.
- You are in Washington. - Really?. Where is she?
Could you announce that we're ready to score?
No. Just a moment.
Attention ... We're looking for the chick wlth big boobs.
Yeah, we are ready to do you now.
In case you forget who you're dealing with. I got your mules in my trunk.
Damn! Damn! I am gonna kill 'em!
No, honey, we're gonna kill 'em.
Next stop, White House.
- Why are we getting back on the bus? - It's time to go, son.
We can't leave. What about that chick?. We were supposed to get some.
- Settle down, Beavis. - No, I won't.
Dammit, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score.
It's not fair. We travelled ... 100 miles because we thought we'd score.
- Sit down. - Shut up, ass-wipe.
We'll never score. We'll just get old like these people, but they probably scored.
Sit down!
This chick's a slut. And this guy's old but he probably scored a million times.
- Oh, yeah. - But not us. We're never gonna score!
All right, that's it, numb-nuts.
Well, look what we have here. You two make me sick. Book 'em, Bork.
- You don't have anything on us. - How about lewd conduct?
Maybe indecent exposure.
One of you will get me the unit. The other can spend 60 years in jail.
We're back together, and you'll never ...
He stole the unit. He said he put it in some kid's pants.
You damn little four-legged ...
Travis, it doesn't do a body good to get all worked up.
Here, this should help you relax. Does that say "Xanax'?
Yeah, probably. I don't know.
What else you got?
Our suspects are on a tour bus we believe is heading for ...
... the White House. Jumpin' Jesus!
I want everyone there. Our people, locals. Orders are: Shoot to kill.
- You know what's really cool? - Shut up.
In case you don't know, you've come on a very special day.
Gathered today for a global conference called Give Peace a Chance, G-PAC, -
- are representatives from around the world.
Many of the portraits were saved from the fire set by the British.
- Fire ... - What's your problem, Beavis?
The site for the White House was chosen by Washington and L'Enfant.
L'Enfentatta tititatta for my bunghole.
Are you okay?.
Are you threatening me? I am Cornholio.
Maybe you should wait out in the lobby.
In this lobby, will there be TP, for my bunghole?
Where are you when we need you, lke?
Even with all we've been through, it don't change a thing.
I said it before and I'll say it again. This is the greatest country on earth.
Say, that looks kind of like ... No, it couldn't be.
Are you threatening me? I am Cornholio.
The President does plan to speak at the conference.
It's rumoured that a biological weapon has been stolen during the conference.
Those rumours are entirely unfounded.
I am the great Cornholio. I am a gringo.
I have no bunghole. Bungholio ...
This is the state dining-room, where world leaders are entertained.
Where's the TV?
- There are no TV's in the dining-room. - This house sucks.
Evacuation? It's probably just another bomb threat or something.
Is this the lobby?.
I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!
- Yes, Mr President? - I am Cornholio. Mybunghole goes ...
Mr President, I can't make out what you're saying.
Sir, the President sounds strange.
Washington may be under attack. Go to defcon 4.
Move it along, folks.
Hey, baby.
I noticed you have braces. I have braces, too.
That was cool.
This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.
- All right, where's the unit? - My unit?
In my pants.
- Not on him, Chief. - Agent Hurly, give him a cavity search.
Don't stop till you reach the back of his teeth.
- We're awaltingyour final order. - Surrender your TP.
Mr President, in the name of all that's holy, I must have those launch codes.
I am Cornholio! You will cooperate with my bunghole.
For there is but one bunghole. The almighty Bunghole.
He's clean, Chief.
Did I just score?
The other guy must have it. He's here somewhere.
... bunghole ...
I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but we'll have to wait outside. Follow me.
- TP for my bunghole. - Yes. TP for my bunghole. Pretty good.
Let them through. They're with the conference. It's okay, he's with them.
You cannot run from your own bunghole.
Bunghole, bunghole, bunghole ...
Boy, it really makes you proud. I could stay in here all day.
- Sir, you'll have to leave. Now. - Wait a minute. That's enough.
I planned this trip my whole life ...
- Something about a "Cornholio". - We haven't seen the Lincoln Room!
Chief, isn't that the guy whose camper they were whacking ...
- Off in whose whacking camper ... - Not now, Bork.
This country's going to hell in a hand basket.
I'm gonna go right now and talk to my congressman about this.
What the hell ..? Wait here a minute.
What in the hell is that damn noise?
- How's it going? - Pull your damn pants up, boy!
Get out! lf I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hog-tie you.
Dammit, now I got to straighten up in here!
- We cleared all floors. No sign of him. - Where the hell is he?
- Chief, isn't that the camper ..? - Bork, not now.
- Chief, look. - I'll be a monkey's bare-assed uncle.
All units, we got him. He's in front of a white camper on Pennsylvania Ave.
I am Cornholio! I will lay waste to your bunghole.
Nobody shoot. He could have the unit on him.
Keep your distance. We don't want to risk hitting it.
- Where are his pants? - Who knows?
This is Agent Flemming. We won't hurt you. We just want the unit.
- Tell us where the unit is. - Do you have TP for my bunghole?
We'll get you whatever you want. Get the other kid.
- Do you have any holio? - This is Bork. We need some TP.
And some ... What did he say?.
Whoa, this rules.
Can I have a gun, too?
You must bow down to the almighty Bunghole.
This is your last chance. Give us the unit.
Why does everybody want to see my schlong?
He's jerking us off. We have to take him out. Fire on my orders.
I am the one and only Bunghole!
This is your last chance. I'm gonna give you three seconds.
Get ready to fire on the count of three. One ...
Would you like to see my bunghole?
- I will show you my bunghole. - Two!
I have no bunghole.
- What's going on? - Three!
- Take your damn pants with you! - Hold your fire.
- The pants! He's got the unit! - Drop the pants, now!
Wait a minute. I ain't the one ...
Here you go.
- Wait just a minute, mister! - Take a look at this.
- How do you explain this? - What the hell are you talking about?
Using two innocent teenagers as pawns in your sick game, huh?
- I don't know what this is about. - Take him away.
Get your damn hands off me!
You don't know who you're dealing with. I'm a veteran of two foreign wars.
I ain't the one.
I always thought there was something wrong with him.
- He had a lot of problems. - He used to hit me, too.
Hey, does anyone want to see my unit?
I got to admit it, I had you boys wrong. I thought you were scum.
But you saved more lives today than you'll ever know.
- This country owes you a debt. - You mean, we get money and stuff?
And chicks. We were supposed to score.
For security reasons, your actions have to remain top secret, -
- but someone very special wants to give you his thanks.
Beavis and Butt-head, on behalf of your fellow Americans -
- I extend my thanks. You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans -
- who will grow into the leaders of this great country.
He said "extend".
In recognition of your great service, I'm appointing you honorary agents -
- in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
- Alcohol and tobacco? - Yeah, and firearms.
- Cool, huh? - Cigarettes and beer kick ass.
We're in the Bureau of Beer and Fire and Cigarettes.
- And maybe some chicks, too. - This is gonna be cool.
You know what sucks? We never scored and we never got any money.
- And my butt's still sore ... - Butt-head, look!
Yes! Yes!
You think we're ever gonna score?
I probably will. But not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
- Shut up, dill-hole. - Butt-dumpling.
- Turd-burglar. - Ass-goblin.
Shut up. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
I need to stop by his tool shed for a couple of minutes.
"Tool" ...
BBC - The Blue Planet (1 of 8) - Ocean World
BBC - The Blue Planet (2 of 8) - The Deep
BBC - The Blue Planet (3 of 8) - Open Ocean
BBC - The Blue Planet (4 of 8) - Frozen Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (5 of 8) - Seasonal Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (6 of 8) - Coral Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (7 of 8) - Tidal Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (8 of 8) - Coasts
Babi Leto - Autumn Spring (2002)
Baby Doll
Baby Geniuses 2 2004
Babylon 5 - 2x01 - Points of Departure
Babylon 5 - 2x02 - Revelations
Babylon 5 - 2x03 - The Geometry of Shadows
Babylon 5 - 2x04 - A Distant Star
Babylon 5 - 2x04 - The Long Dark
Babylon 5 - 2x06 - Spider in the Web
Babylon 5 - 2x07 - Soul Mates
Babylon 5 - 2x08 - A Race Through Dark Places
Babylon 5 - 2x09 - The Coming of Shadows
Babylon 5 - 2x10 - Gropos
Babylon 5 - 2x11 - All Alone in the Night
Babylon 5 - 2x12 Acts of Sacrifice
Babylon 5 - 2x13 - Hunter Prey
Babylon 5 - 2x14 - There All the Honor Lies
Babylon 5 - 2x15 - And Now For A Word
Babylon 5 - 2x17 - Knives
Babylon 5 - 2x18 - Confessions and Lamentations
Babylon 5 - 2x19 - Divided Loyalties
Babylon 5 - 2x20 - The Long Twilight Struggle
Babylon 5 - 2x21 - Comes the Inquisitor
Babylon 5 - 2x22 - The Fall Of Night
Babylon 5 - 3x03 - A Day in the Strife
Babylon 5 - 3x05 - Voices of Authority
Babylon 5 - 3x06 - Dust to Dust
Babylon 5 - 3x07 - Exogenesis
Babylon 5 - 3x08 - Messages from Earth
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Babylon 5 - 3x10 - Severed Dreams
Babylon 5 - 3x11 - Ceremonies of Light and Dark
Babylon 5 - 3x12 - Sic Transit Vir
Babylon 5 - 3x13 - A Late Delivery From Avalon
Babylon 5 - 3x14 - Ship of Tears
Babylon 5 - 3x16 - War Without End (Part I)
Babylon 5 - 3x17 - War Without End (Part II)
Babylon 5 - 3x18 - Walkabout
Babylon 5 - 3x19 - Grey 17 is Missing
Babylon 5 - 3x20 - And the Rock Cried Out No Hiding Place
Babylon 5 - 3x21 - Shadow Dancing
Babylon 5 1x01 Midnight on the Firing Line
Babylon 5 1x02 Soul Hunter
Babylon 5 1x03 Born to the Purple
Babylon 5 1x04 Infection
Babylon 5 1x05 The Parliament of Dreams
Babylon 5 1x06 Mind War
Babylon 5 1x07 The War Prayer
Babylon 5 1x08 And The Sky Full Of Stars
Babylon 5 1x09 Deathwalker
Babylon 5 1x10 Believers
Babylon 5 1x11 Survivors
Babylon 5 1x12 By Any Means Necessary
Babylon 5 1x13 Signs and Portents
Babylon 5 1x14 TKO
Babylon 5 1x15 Grail
Babylon 5 1x16 Eyes
Babylon 5 1x17 Legacies
Babylon 5 1x18 A voice in the wilderness - Part 1
Babylon 5 1x19 A voice in the wilderness - Part 2
Babylon 5 1x20 Babylon squared
Babylon 5 1x21 The Quality Of Mercy
Babylon 5 1x22 Crysalis
Babylon 5 3x01 Matters of Honor
Babylon 5 4x01 - The Hour of the Wolf
Babylon 5 4x02 - What Ever Happened to Mr Garibaldi
Babylon 5 4x03 - The Summoning
Babylon 5 4x04 - Falling Towards Apotheosis
Babylon 5 4x05 - The Long Night
Babylon 5 4x06 - Into the Fire
Babylon 5 4x07 - Epiphanies
Babylon 5 4x08 - The Illusion of Truth
Babylon 5 4x09 - Atonement
Babylon 5 4x10 - Racing Mars
Babylon 5 4x11 - Lines of Communication
Babylon 5 4x12 - Conflicts of Interest
Babylon 5 4x13 - Rumors Bargains and Lies
Babylon 5 4x14 - Moments of Transition
Babylon 5 4x15 - No Surrender No Retreat
Babylon 5 4x16 - The Exercise of Vital Powers
Babylon 5 4x17 - The Face of the Enemy
Babylon 5 4x18 - Intersections in Real Time
Babylon 5 4x19 - Between the Darkness and the Light
Babylon 5 4x20 - Endgame
Babylon 5 4x21 - Rising Star
Babylon 5 4x22 - The Deconstruction of Falling Stars
Babys Day Out
Bachelor Party
Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer The
Back To Bataan
Back To The Future 1
Back To The Future 1 (dc)
Back To The Future 1 (hi)
Back To The Future 2
Back To The Future 2 (hi)
Back To The Future 3
Back To The Future 3 (hi)
Back to School (Alan Metter 1986)
Back to the Future II
Back to the Future III
Backfield in Motion
BadBoys TrueStory 2003 CD1
BadBoys TrueStory 2003 CD2
Bad Company
Bad Guy 2001
Bad Santa
Bad Santa (unrated)
Bad Seed The 1956
Bad Timing (Nicolas Roeg 1980)
Bad and the Beautiful The
Badboys II
Baise Moi
Balanta 1992 (The Oak)
Ballad Of A Soldier 1959
Balseros 2002
Bamba La (1987)
Band of Brothers 01 - Currahee
Band of Brothers 02 - Day of Days
Band of Brothers 03 - Carentan
Band of Brothers 04 - Replacements
Band of Brothers 05 - Crossroads
Band of Brothers 06 - Bastogne
Band of Brothers 07 - The Breaking Point
Band of Brothers 08 - The Last Patrol
Band of Brothers 09 - Why We Fight
Band of Brothers 10 - Points
Band of Outsiders
Bande des quatre La 1988 CD1
Bande des quatre La 1988 CD2
Bao biao (1969) - Have sword Chang Cheh
Bao lian deng (1999)
Bar El Chino 2003
Baramui Fighter CD1
Baramui Fighter CD2
Barberella - A Queen Of The Galaxy
Bare Bea 2004
Barefoot Gen 1983
Barrio 1947 25fps
Basara The Princess 1992 CD1
Basara The Princess 1992 CD2
Basic Instinct
Batman - Mystery of the Batwoman
Batman - The Movie
Batman 1989 CD1
Batman 1989 CD2
Batman and Robin
Batoru Rowaioru II - Requiem (2003) CD1
Batoru Rowaioru II - Requiem (2003) CD2
Batteries Included
Battle Cry CD1
Battle Cry CD2
Battle Hymn 1957
Battle Royale (2000) Directors Cut CD1
Battle Royale (2000) Directors Cut CD2
Battle Royale 2 (2003)
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
Battle of Algiers The (Gillo Pontecorvo 1965) CD1
Battle of Algiers The (Gillo Pontecorvo 1965) CD2
Battle of Britain CD1
Battle of Britain CD2
Battle of the Bulge CD1
Battle of the Bulge CD2
Battlefield Baseball
Battlefield Earth
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - 33
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - Litmus
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - Water
Battlestar Galactica 01x03 - Bastille Day
Battlestar Galactica 01x04 - Act of Contrition
Battlestar Galactica 01x05 - You Cant Go Home Again
Battlestar Galactica 01x07 - Six Degrees of Seperation
Battlestar Galactica 01x08 - Flesh and Bone
Battlestar Galactica 01x09 - Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down
Battlestar Galactica 01x10 - The Hand of God
Battlestar Galactica 01x11 - Colonial Day
Battlestar Galactica 01x12 - Kobols Last Gleaming Part 1
Battlestar Galactica 01x13 - Kobols Last Gleaming Part 2
Baxter 1989
Beach The
Bean - The Ultimate Disaster Movie
Beast Cops
Beast From 20,000 Fathoms The 1953
Beast Within The
Beast of War The
Beating Of The Butterflys Wings The 2000
Beatles Anthology The Episode1
Beatles Anthology The Episode2
Beatles Anthology The Episode3
Beatles Anthology The Episode4
Beatles Anthology The Episode5
Beatles Anthology The Episode6
Beatles Anthology The Episode7
Beatles Anthology The Episode8
Beatles Anthology The Special Features
Beatles The - A Hard Dayss Night
Beatles The First US Visit The
Beau Pere - Stepfather - Bertrand Blier 1981
Beautiful Creatures
Beautiful Girls
Beautiful Thing
Beautiful Troublemaker The (1991) CD1
Beautiful Troublemaker The (1991) CD2
Beautiful Troublemaker The (1991) CD3
Beautifull Mind A CD1
Beautifull Mind A CD2
Beauty And The Beast
Beauty and the Beast (Disney Special Platinum Edition)
Beavis and Butt-head Do America (1996)
Bedford Incident The
Bedroom Key The CD1
Bedroom Key The CD2
Before Night Falls 2000 CD1
Before Night Falls 2000 CD2
Before Sunrise
Before Sunset 2004
Beguiled The
Behind Enemy Lines 2001
Behind The Sun (Walter Salles 2001)
Being John Malkovich
Being There (1979) CD1
Being There (1979) CD2
Belle Epoque CD1
Belle Epoque CD2
Belle and La Bete La (1946)
Bellinin And The Spynx CD1
Bellinin And The Spynx CD2
Bells Of St Marys The (1945)
Belly Of The Beast
Belly of an Architect The
Ben-Hur CD1
Ben-Hur CD2
Bend It Like Beckham
Bend of the River 1952
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Benny and Joon
Best years of our lives 1946
Bet on My Disco
Better Off Dead 1985
Better Than Chocolate
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD1
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD2
Better Tomorrow 3 A
Better Way To Die A
Between Heaven and Hell
Beverly Hillbillies The 1993
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Beyond Borders CD1
Beyond Borders CD2
Beyond The
Beyond The Clouds
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD1
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD2
Biches Les (Claude Chabrol 1968)
Bicho de sete cabezas
Bichunmoo CD1
Bichunmoo CD2
Big Blue The CD1
Big Blue The CD2
Big Bounce The
Big Chill The
Big Daddy
Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958)
Big Fat Liar
Big Fish 2003
Big Hit The
Big Lebowski The
Big Mommas House
Big Nihgt
Big Shot - A Confessions of a Campus Bookie 2002
Big Sleep The
Big clock The 1948
Big girls dont cry
Biker boyz
Billy Elliot
Billy Madison 1995
Biloxi blues
Bingwoo 2004 CD1
Bingwoo 2004 CD2
Bio Dome
Bio Hunter
Bio Zombie
Bionicle 2 A Legends of Metru-Nui
Bionicle Mask Of Light 2003
Birch Tree Meadow The
Bird People in China The 1998 CD1
Bird People in China The 1998 CD2
Bird on a wire
Bishops Wife The 1947 CD1
Bishops Wife The 1947 CD2
Bite the bullet
Bitter Sugar (Azucar amarga)
Black Angel
Black Sabbath
BlackAdder 1x1 - The Foretelling
BlackAdder 1x2 - Born to be King
BlackAdder 1x3 - The Archbishop
BlackAdder 1x4 - The Queen of Spains Beard
BlackAdder 1x5 - Witchsmeller Pursuivant
BlackAdder 1x6 - The Black Seal
BlackAdder 2x1 - Bells
BlackAdder 2x2 - Head
BlackAdder 2x3 - Potato
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BlackAdder 2x5 - Beer
BlackAdder 2x6 - Chains
BlackAdder 4x1 - Captain Cook
BlackAdder 4x2 - Corporal Punishment
BlackAdder 4x3 - Major Star
BlackAdder 4x4 - Private Plane
BlackAdder 4x5 - General Hospital
BlackAdder 4x6 - Goodbyeee
BlackAdder Christmas Carol 1988
BlackAdder The Cavalier Years
BlackAdder the Third 3x1
BlackAdder the Third 3x2
BlackAdder the Third 3x3
BlackAdder the Third 3x4
BlackAdder the Third 3x5
BlackAdder the Third 3x6
Black Adder V - Back and Forth
Black Christmas
Black Hawk Down
Black Mask
Black Mask 2
Black Orpheus
Black Rain CD1
Black Rain CD2
Black Sheep
Black Widow 1987
Black and White (1998)
Blackout The 1997 CD1
Blackout The 1997 CD2
Blade 3 - Trinity
Blade Of Fury
Blade Runner (1982 Original Cut) CD1
Blade Runner (1982 Original Cut) CD2
Blade Runner Directors Cut
Blair Witch Project The
Blame It On Rio
Blast From The Past 1999
Blast from the Past
Blazing Saddles
Blazing Sun (1960) CD1
Blazing Sun (1960) CD2
Bless The Child
Blind Beast
Blind Chance (1987) CD1
Blind Chance (1987) CD2
Blind Spot Hitlers Secretary (2002)
Blind date
Blob The 1988
Blood Crime
Blood Wedding (1981)
Blood Work
Blood and Black Lace
Blow 2001 CD1
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Blow Dry 2001
Blown Away 1994 CD1
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Blue (Derek Jarman)
Blue Car
Blue Collar Comedy Tour The Movie
Blue Max The CD1
Blue Max The CD2
Blue Moon
Blue Planet The 1
Blue Planet The 2 - The Deep
Blue Planet The 3 - Open Ocean
Blue Planet The 4 - Frozen Seas
Blue Spring 2001
Blue Velvet
Blue juice 1995
Blue thunder
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD1
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD2
Blues Harp
Boat Trip - Feedback Overflow
Bob Le Flambeur 1955
Bob Marley Story - Rebel Music
Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
Body Double
Body Heat
Body The
Boiler Room
Bola El
Bone Collector The
Bonnie and Clyde
Book of Fate The
Book of Pooh The
Boondock Saints The
Boot Das 1981 CD1
Boot Das 1981 CD2
Born Romantic
Boucher Le
Bourne supremacy The-1CD
Boxcar Bertha
Boy Who Saw The Wind The
Boys and Girls
Boyz N the Hood
Branca de Neve
Bread and Roses
Breakfast Club The
Breakfast at Tiffanys
Breakin all the rules
Breaking Away
Bride with White Hair The
Bridge Man The CD1
Bridge Man The CD2
Bright Future
Broadway Danny Rose
Brother (Takeshi Kitano)
Brother Sun Sister Moon 1972
Brother from Another Planet The 1984
Brotherhood Of The Wolf
Brothers The
Buena Estrella La (Lucky Star)
Buffalo Soldiers
Bug 1975
Bugs Bunny - Baseball Bugs (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Big Top Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny Gets the Boid (1942)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny and the Three Bears (1944)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs and Thugs (1954)
Bugs Bunny - Bully for Bugs (1953)
Bugs Bunny - Frigid Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny - Hair-Raising Hare (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Haredevil Hare (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Long Haired Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny - My Bunny Lies Over the Sea (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Rabbits Kin (1952)
Bugs Bunny - Tortoise Wins by a Hare (1943)
Bugs Bunny - Wabbit Twouble (1941)
Bugs Bunny - Water Water Every Hare (1952)
Bugs Bunny - Whats Up Doc (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck - Rabbit Fire (1951)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck - Rabbit Seasoning (1952)
Bugs Bunny and Elmer - Rabbit of Seville (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Taz - Devil May Hare (1954)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Ballot Box Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Big House Bunny (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Bunker Hill Bunny (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - High Diving Hare (1949)
Bugs Life A
Bullet Ballet
Bullet in the Head
Bulletproof Monk 2003
Bullets Over Broadway
Bully (Unrated Theatrical Edition)
Burning Paradise (Ringo Lam 1994)
Burnt Money
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid A Special Edition
Butchers Wife The