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Do you have any idea what they were arguing about? Do you speak English? Yeah. No, I'm sorry, my German is not very good Have you ever heard that as couples get older, they lose their ability to hear each other? No Well, supposedly, men lose the ability to hear higher-pitched sounds and women eventually lose hearing in the low end I guess they sort of nullify each other, or something. I guess. Nature's way of allowing couples to grow old together without killing each other. What are you reading? Oh, yeah. How bout you? Look, I was thinking about going to the lounge car sometime soon. Would you like to come with me? Yeah. Okay So how do you speak such good English? I went to school for a summer in Los Angeles. This fine here? Yeah, this is good. Then I spent some time in London. How do you speak such good English? Me? I'm American. You're American? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. No, I'm joking. I knew you were American. And of course, you don't speak any other language, right? Yeah, yeah, I get it So I'm the crude, dumb, vulgar American who has no culture, right? But, I tried I took french for four years in high school. When I first got to Paris, I stood in line at the Métro station. I was practicing. 'Un billet, s'il vous plaît. Un billet s'il vous plaît' y'know "un billet" Whatever. 'Un, Un.' 'Un billet s'il vous plaît, un billet s'il vous plaît,' y'know, and I get up there, and, uh, I look at this woman, and my mind goes completely blank. And I start saying, 'uh, listen, uh, I need a ticket to get to... y'know so anyway. So, where are you headed? Well, back to Paris. My classes start next week. Oh, you're still in school? Where do you go? -Yeah, La Sorbonne, you know? -Well, sure Hey, you coming from Budapest? Yeah, I was visiting my grandmother. Oh. How's she? She's okay. -She's alright? -She's fine, yeah How bout you? Where are you going? Uh, I'm going to Vienna. Vienna? What's there? Uh, I have no idea. I'm flying out of there tomorrow. Ah ha. you on holiday? Uh, I don't really know what I'm on. I've just been. I'm just traveling around, I've been riding the trains the past two, three weeks. You were visiting friends, or just on your own? Uh, yeah. Y'know I had a friend in Madrid, but, umm.. -Madrid? That's nice. -Yeah, I got one of those Eurail passes, is what I did. -That's great. So, has this trip, around Europe, been good for you? -Yeah, sure, yeah, -it's been, umm... it sucked. Y'know... -What? No, uh, it's had its, umm. Well, I'll tell you, y'know, sitting, y'know, for weeks on end, looking out the window has actually been kinda great. What do you mean? Well, you know, for instance, you have ideas that you ordinarily wouldn't have. -What kind of ideas? -You want to hear one? -Yeah, tell me. -Alright, uh, I had this idea, okay? For a television show. Some friends of mine are these cable access producers, do you know what that is, cable access? I don't know, I dunno... Anybody can produce a show real cheap, and they have to put it on. Right? And I have this idea for this show that would last 24 hours a day for a year straight, right? What you do, is you get 365 people from cities all over the world, to do these 24 hour documents of real time, right, capturing life as its lived. Um, you know, it would start with uh, a guy waking up in the morning, and, uh, y'know, taking the long shower, eating a little breakfast, making a little coffee, you know, and, uh, reading the paper. Wait, wait. All those mundane, boring things everybody has to do everyday of their fucking life? -I was going to say the poetry of day to day life, but you know, you say the way you say it, I'll say it the way I say it... ... No listen, think about it like this... -Who's gonna want to watch this? Well, alright, think about it like this. Why is it, that a dog, y'know, sleeping in the sun, is so beautiful, y'know, it is, its beautiful, y'know, but a guy, standing at a bank machine, trying to take some money out, looks like a complete moron? -So, its like a National Geographic program, but on people? -Yeah! What do you think? Yeah, I can, I can, I can see it. Like twenty four boring hours, sorry, and like a three minute sex scene, where he falls asleep right after, no? Yeah, y'know I mean, and... I mean, that would be a great episode. -Yeah. People would talk about that episode. -I mean, you and your friends could do one in Paris, if you wanted to, I mean. -Oh, sure. I dunno, the key, the key.. the thing that kind of haunts me is the distribution, y'know. I mean, getting these tapes from town to town, city to city, so that the play is continuous, cause it would have to play all the time, or else it just wouldn't work. -Tkank you -Tkanks You know what? Not service oriented an observation about Europe. You know my parents have never really spoken of the possibility of my falling in love, or getting married, or having children. Even as a little girl, they wanted me to think of a future career, as a, you know, as a interior designer, or a lawyer, or something like that I'd say to my dad, 'I want to be a writer.' and he'd say journalist. I'd say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats, and he'd say veterinarian. I'd say I wanted to be an actress, and he'd say TV newscaster It was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambition into these practical, money-making ventures. I always had a pretty good bullshit detector when I was a kid, y'know. I always knew when they were lying to me, y'know. By the time I was in high school, I was dead set on listening to what everybody thought I should be doing with my life, and just kind of doing just the opposite. No one was ever mean about it. Its just, I could never get very excited about other people's ambitions for my life. But you know what, if your parents never really fully contradict you about anything, and like are basically nice, and supportive... -Right... It makes it even harder to officially complain. Y'know, even when they're wrong, its this, its this passive-aggressive shit, you know what I mean its... I hate it, I really hate it. Well, you know, despite all that kind of bullshit that comes along with it I remember childhood as this you know, this magical time I remember when, uh, my mother first told me about death My great-grandmother had just died, and my whole family had just visited them in Florida. I was about 3, 3 and a half years old Anyway, I was in the backyard, playing and my sister had just taught me how to take the garden hose and do it in such a way that, uh, you could spray it into the sun, and you could make a rainbow, right? And so I was doing that, and through the mist I could see my grandmother And she was just standing there, smiling at me And uh, then I held it there, for a long time and I looked at her. And then finally, I let go of the nozzle, y'know, and then I dropped the hose, and she disappeared And so I went back inside, and I tell my parents And they, uh, sit me down give me big rap on how when people die you never see them again and how I'd imagined it But, I knew what I'd seen. And I was just glad that I saw that. I mean, I've never seen anything like that since But, I don't know It just kind of let me know how ambiguous everything was y'know, even death. You're really lucky you can have this attitude towards death I think I'm afraid of death 24 hours a day. I swear -I mean, that's why I'm in a train right now. I could have flown to Paris, but I'm too scared. -Oh, come. I can't help it. I can't help it I know the statistics say na-na-na, its safer whatever. When I'm in a plane, I can see it. I can see the explosion. I can see me falling through the clouds and I'm so scared of those few seconds of consciousness before you're gonna die you know, when you know for sure you're gonna die I can't stop thinking that way -Its exhausting -Yeah, I bet Really exhausting -I think this is Vienna -Yeah. -You get off here, no? -Yeah, what a drag I wish I had met you earlier, you know, I really like talking to you Yeah, me too It was really nice to meet you Alright, I have an admittedly insane idea, but if I don't ask you this its just, uh, you know, its gonna haunt me the rest of my life -What? Um... I want to keep talking to you, y'know. I have no idea what your situation is, but, uh, but I feel like we have some kind of, uh, connection. Right? Yeah, me too. Yeah, right, -well, great. So listen, so here's the deal. This is what we should do. You should get off the train with me here in Vienna, and come check out the capital. -What? Come on. It'll be fun. Come on What would we do? Umm, I don't know. All I know is I have to catch an Austrian Airlines flight tomorrow morning at 9:30 and I don't really have enough money for a hotel, so I was just going to walk around, and it would be a lot more fun if you came with me And if I turn out to be some kind of psycho, you know, you just get on the next train. Alright, alright. Think of it like this jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you're married Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy that it used to have, y'know You start to blame your husband You start to think about all those guys you've met in your life and what might have happened if you'd picked up with one of them, right? Well, I'm one of those guys. That's me y'know, so think of this as time travel, from then, to now, to find out what you're missing out on See, what this really could be is a gigantic favour to both you and your future husband to find out that you're not missing out on anything. I'm just as big a loser as he is totally unmotivated, totally boring, and, uh, you made the right choice, and you're really happy Let me get my bag. -We should get a locker for all this stuff -ok What's your name? My name? Es Jess It's Jesse. It's James, actually, but everybody always calls me Jesse You mean, Jesse James? No. -No, no. Just Jesse -I'm Celine Nice bridge Yeah. -This is kind of weird -Yeah, this is kind of weird isn't it? I mean, I feel a little awkward But its alright, right? Its okay. Yeah, this is great, this is great. Let's go to some places. Look at your book. Yeah, we're in Vienna, let's go to some places. Let's ask these guys Excuse me, excuse me, spreken-ze English? Ja, of course. Couldn't you speak German for a change? -What? -No, it was a joke. Well, listen, we just got into Vienna today, and we're looking for something fun to do Like museums, exhibitions, things... But museums are not that funny any more these days, uh... Uh, but they are closing right now. How long are you going to be here? Just for tonight. Why did you come to Vienna? What, uh, what could you be expecting? We're on honeymoon. Yeah, she got pregnant, we had to get married, y'know. You know I don't believe you, you're a bad liar. This is a play we're both in, and we would like to invite you. You're actors? No, not professional actors, uh, part-time actors, for fun. It's a play about a cow, and an Indian searching for it. -There are also in it politicians, Mexicans... -Russians, Communists, So, you have a real cow on stage. No, not a real cow. Its an actor in a cow costume. And he's the cow. Yes, I am the cow. And the cow is a bit weird. She's acting a bit strange, like a dog. If someone throws a stick, she fetches it, and brings it back. And she can smoke, with her hooves, and everything. And as you see, there is the address. Its in the Second district. Near the Prata. You know the Prata? -Oh, the big Ferris Wheel? -By the wheel, yes. -Oh, we should go. -Yes, the wheel, everybody knows the wheel. Perhaps you can go to the Prata before the play. It starts at 21:30. ¿21'30? -That's 9:30. -9:30? oh, right, right. Okay, great, well, what's the name of this play? It translates as 'Bring me the horns ... ... of Wilmington's cow' Ja I'm Wilmington's cow. -Alright -Great -You'll be there? -We'll try -I'm the cow. -You're the cow. -Goodbye Alright, I got an idea. Are you ready? Okay. Q&A time. We've known each other a little while now, we're stuck together, so we're going to ask each other a few, uh, direct questions. Alright? So, we ask each other questions. -And you have to answer 100% honestly. -Of course. Okay, alright, first question -You -Describe for me...Yes, I'm going to ask you. Describe for me your first sexual feelings towards a person. My first sexual feelings, oh my God. Um, I know, I know. Jean-Marc Floris. Jean-Marc Floris? I remember we were at this summer camp together. And he was a swimmer. Yeah, he had bleached out chlorine hair and green eyes. And to improve his times, he'd shave the hair off his legs and arms. -That's disgusting -Oh, no. He was like this gorgeous dolphin. And my friend Emma had a big, big crush on him So one day I was cutting, y'know across field, back to my room, and he came walking up beside me You know, and I told him, you know, you should date Emma, she has a big crush on you. And he turned to me and said Well, that's too bad, 'cause I have a big crush on you. Yeah, it really scared the hell out of me, because I thought he was so fine. And then he officially asked me out on a date, and y'know I pretended I didn't like him Y'know I was, I was so afraid of what I might do, you know. Uh, well. So, y'know, I went to see him swim a few times, at the swim competition. And he was so sexy, really, I mean, really sexy Y'know we kind of wrote these little declarations of love to each other at the end of the summer, and you know, promised we would keep writing forever, and I, y'know, meet again very soon, and Did you? Of course not. Well, then I think this is the opportune time to tell you that I happen to be a fantastic swimmer. -Really? -Yeah. -I'll make note of that. -Okay. Uh.. -So its my turn, no? -Yes, yeah, it's your turn. Yeah, yeah Uh, have you ever been in love? Yes. Next question. What was the first... Wait, wait. -So I can give one word answers? -Sure, why not? No, no. After I went into such private details about my first sexual feelings. Yeah, I, I know, but, sexual feel... Those are two very different questions I mean, I could've answered the sexual feelings thing, no problem, but y'know, love... Well, what if I asked you about love? -I would have lied -Yeah, well, you would have lied. Great. -but at least, you know, I would have made up a great story. I mean, love is a complex issue. Y'know, I mean, its like, uh. I mean, yes, I had told somebody that I love them before, and I had meant it Was it totally a totally unselfish, giving love? Was it a beautiful thing? Not really y'know. Its like love, I mean, uh, I don't know. Y'know? Yeah, I know what you mean. But as far as sexual feelings go, I'll have you know it started with an obsessive relationship with Miss July 1978. Do you know Playboy magazine? Oh, yeah, I've heard of it. -Yeah? Do you know Crystal? -No.. You don't know Crystal? Well, I knew Crystal. Is it, um... my turn now. okay. Tell me something that really pisses you off really drives you crazy. -Pisses me off. My G-d. Everything pisses me off -Okay, okay, list a couple. Uh, okay. I hate being told by a strange man, a strange man in the street, y'know, like, to smile, like, to make them feel better about their boring life, um, what else? I hate, I hate that 300 kms from here there's a war going on, y'know, people are dying and nobody knows what to do about it, or they don't give a shit, I don't know I hate that the medias, you know, they are trying to control our minds. The media? Yeah, the media. You know its very subtle, but you know, its a new form of fascism. Um, I hate, I hate when I am in foreign countries, especially in America, they are the worst. Each time I wear black, or like, lose my temper, or say anything about anything, they always go 'oh, its so french, its so cute.' I hate that I can't stand that, really. Is that all? Well, there's a lot of things, really. -So its my turn. -Okay You're going to answer Yes, I'll answer. Ah, what's a problem for you? You, probably. What? Um, No, Alright, I had a thought the other day that was kind of, a, qualifies as a problem What is it? Well, it was a thought I had on the train, so.... Um... okay, alright. Um, Do you believe in reincarnation? Yeah, yeah, its interesting. Most people, you know, a lot of people talk about the past lives, and things like that, you know, and even if they don't believe in it in some specific way, you know, people have some kind of notion of an eternal soul, right. -Yeah Okay. Well, this is my thought. 50,000 years ago, there are not even a million people on the planet 10,000 years ago, there's like 2,000,000 people on the planet. Now, there's between 5 and 6 billion people on the planet, right? Now, if we all have our own, like, individual, unique soul, right, where do they all come from? Are modern souls only a fraction of the original souls? Because if they are, that represents a 5,000-to-1 split of each soul in just the last 50,000 years which is like a blip in the earth's time. You know, so, at best, we're like these tiny fractions of people, you know, walking... I mean, is that why we're all so scattered? Y'know, Is that why we're all so specialized? -Wait a minute, I'm not sure I .. I don't.... -Hang on, I know, I know, its a totally scattered thought, -which is kind of why it makes sense. -Yeah... I agree with you. Let's get off this damn tram This place is pretty neat. Yeah, there's even a listening booth over there. Have you ever heard of this singer? I think she's American. A friend of mine told me about her. Do you want to go see if that listening booth still works? Yeah, okay. "There's a wind that blows in from the north, And it says that loving takes its course. Come here. No I'm not impossible to touch, I have never wanted you so much. Come here. Have I never lay down by your side? Baby, let's forget about this pride. Come here. Well, I'm in no hurry. You don't have to run away this time. I know that you're jimmied, but it's gonna be all right this time Oh, look, there's a rabbit. Yeah. Hey there, rabbit. He's so cute I visited this as a young teenager. I think it left a bigger impression on me at that time than any of the museums we went to. Yeah? Its tiny. I know. There was this little old man that talked to us. He was the grounds keeper. He explained that most of the people are buried here that washed up on the bank of the Danube. How old are these? Around the beginning of the century or so. It's called the cemetery of the no-name because the often didn't know who these people were. Maybe a first name, that's all. Why were all the bodies washing up? I think some were from accidents, on boats and things like that but most of them were suicides that jumped in the river. I always liked the idea of all those unknown people lost in the world. When I was a little girl, I thought that if none of your family or friends knew you were dead, then its like not really being dead. People can invent the best and the worst for you. Ah, here she is, I think. Yeah, this is, this is the one I remember the most. She was only 13 when she died. That meant something to me, you know, I was around that age when I first saw this Hmm. Now, I'm 10 years older, and she's still, 13, I guess. That's funny. That's the Danube over there. That's the river, right? -Yeah. This is gorgeous Yeah, its very beautiful. We got, uh, we got a sunset here. -Yeah We got the Ferris wheel. It seems like, um, this would be a... -What? -Uh, you know, uh. Are you trying to say you want to kiss me? -But you know what? -What? I don't think it really matters what generation you are born into. Look at my parents.They were these angry, young, May '68 people, revolting against everything. You know, the government, their conservative catholic backgrounds, I mean. I was born not long after, and then my father went on to become this successful architect, and they began to travel all around the world, where he built bridges, and towers, and stuff. I mean, I really can't complain about anything. You know, they love me more than anything in the world, and I have been raised with all the freedom they had fought for And yet for me now, its another type of fight We still have to deal with the same old shit but we can't really know who, or y'know, what the enemy is. I don't really know if there is an enemy. You know, I mean, everybody's parents fuck them up. You know, rich kids' parents gave them too much, poor kids' not enough. Too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them, or y'know, they stuck around and taught 'em the wrong things. Y'know. I mean, my parents are just these two people who didn't like each other very much who, uh, decided to get married and have a kid, and they try their best to be nice to me. -Did your parents divorce? -Yeah.Finally They should have done it a lot sooner, but they stuck together for a while for the well-being of my sister and I, thank you very much. I remember my mother once. She told me, right in front of my father, they were having this big fight, that he didn't really want to have me, y'know, that he was really pissed off when he found out that she was pregnant with me, y'know, that I was this big mistake. And I think that really shaped the way I think. I always saw the world as this place where I really wasn't meant to be. -That's so sad. -No, I mean, I eventually kind of took pride in it. Y'know, like my life was my own doing, or something -Y'know, like I was crashing 'The Big Party.' -That's a way to see it. Y'know, my parents, they're still married, and I guess they're very happy but I just think its an healthy process to rebel against everything that came before. You know, I've been wondering lately. Do you know anyone who's in a happy relationship? Uh, yeah, sure. Y'know, I know happy couples. But I think they lie to each other. Hmf. Yeah. People can lead their life as I lie. My grandmother, she was married to this man, and I always thought she had a very simple, uncomplicated love life. But she just confessed to me that she spent her whole life dreaming about another man she was always in love with. She just accepted her fate. It's so sad. And in the same time, I love the idea that she had all those emotions and feelings I never thought she would have had. I guarantee you, it was better that way. If she'd ever got to know him,'know, I'm sure he would have disappointed her eventually. How do you know? You don't know them. Yeah, I know, I know. It's just, people have these romantic projections they put on everything. Y'know. that's not based on any kind of reality. -Romantic projections? -Yeah. Oh, Mr. Romantic, up there in the Ferris Wheel Oh, kiss me, the sunset, oh, its so beautiful. Oh, alright, alright, alright. Tell me about your grandmother. What were you saying about her? Hey... check these guys out. 'Hey Hans, I have a confession to make. I'm not wearing any underwear underneath this thing 'Oh really?' 'Does that frighten you? -Can I tell you a secret? -Yeah. -Come here -What? -Look at this palm-reader.She's interesting-looking, no? -Yeah. -Uh-oh, uh-oh. -What, what? -I just made eye contact. -She's not coming over here. -Yes, she is. -Oh, shit. Oh, no. -Oh my God. You want your palm read? -No, no. -No? Are you sure? -I'm sure. -Would you like your hand read? (aleman) -Uh, français, English? Vant your palm read? Yeah. How much is it. For you, fifties. Okay? Okay. Oh, so, you have been on a journey, and you are stranger to this place. You, an adventure, you seek. An adventure in your mind. You are interested in the power of the woman, in a woman's deep strength, and creativity? You are becoming this woman. You need to resign yourself to the awkwardness of life. Only if you find peace within yourself, will you find true connection with others. That is a stranger to you? I guess so. Oh, you will be alright. He's learning. Okay. Money. You are both stars, don't forget. And the stars exploded billions of years ago, to form everything that is this world. Everything we know, is stardust. So don't forget, you are stardust. I mean, that's very nice and all, I mean, that, y'know, we're all stardust and you're becoming this great woman, I mean, but I hope you don't take that any more seriously than some horoscope in a daily syndicated newspaper. You, what are you talking about? I mean, she knew I was on vacation,and that we didn't know each other, and that I was going to become this great woman. But what was that 'I am learning' bullshit? I mean, that's way condescending.Y'know. I mean, she wasn't even doing me. I mean, if opportunists like that, ever had to tell the real truth, it would put their asses out of business. Y'know. I mean, just once, I'd love to see, some little old lady save up all her money, y'know, to go to the fortune teller, and she'd get there, all excited about hearing her future, and the woman would say UmHmm. Tomorrow, and all your remaining days will be exactly like today A tedious collection of hours. And you will have no new passions, and no new thoughts and no new travels, and when you die, you'll be completely forgotten. 50 shillings, please. Y'know, that, I'd like to see. Its so funny how she almost didn't notice you, y'know. It's weird. I wonder why. She was, she was really wise, and intense, no? I really loved what she said, you know? Yeah, of course you do, y'know. You pay your money, you get to hear something that makes you feel good about yourself. If you want, maybe there's a seedy section of Vienna, we can go buy a hit of crack, y'know. Would you like that? Yeah? You're so Stardust, Stardust. Ridicule! Ah, there's an exhibition. Yeah, I guess we'll miss it. Doesn't start until next week. Yeah, I think so I actually saw this one a few years ago in a museum I stared, and stared at it. Must have been 45 minutes I love it. La voie ferée. Ah I love the way the people seem to be dissolving into the background Look at this one. Its like the environments, y'know, are stronger than the people. His human figures are always so transitory. Its funny. Transitory? Transitory -Think this is open? -I don't know, let's try it. I was in an old church like this with my grandmother a few days ago in Budapest Even though I reject most of the religious things I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here lost or in pain, guilt, looking for some kind of answers It fascinates me how a single place can join so much pain and happiness for so many generations You close with your grandmother? Yeah I think its because I always... I always have this strange feeling that I am this very old woman laying down about to die. You know, that my life is just her memories, or something. That's so wild. I mean, I always think that I'm still this 13 year old boy, y'know who just doesn't really know how to be an adult, pretending to live my life, taking notes for when I'll really have to do it. Kind of like I'm in a dress rehearsal for a Junior High play. That's funny. Then, up there in the Ferris wheel, it was -like this very old woman kissing this very young boy, right? Do you know anything about the Quakers, the Quaker religion? No, not much, no. Well, I went to this Quaker wedding once, and it was fantastic. What they do is the couple comes in and they kneel down in front of the whole congregation, and they just stare at each other, and nobody says a word unless they feel that God moves them to speak, or say something. And then after an hour or so, of just, uh, staring at each other, they're married. That's beautiful. I like that. This is a horrible story. What? Its not the appropriate place to tell it, but... What? Well, I was driving around with this buddy of mine, he was a big atheist, and we came to a stop, next to this homeless guy. And my buddy takes out a 100 dollar bill, and leans out the window, and he says, 'do you believe in God?' And the guy looks at, uh, he looks at my friend, and he looks at the money, he says, uh, 'Yes, I do.' My friend says, 'Wrong answer.' , and we drove away. That's mean, no? Yeah, uh, its, uh Would you be in Paris by now, if uh, you hadn't gotten off the train with me? No not yet. What would you be doing? I'd probably be hanging around the airport, reading old magazines, crying in my coffee cause you didn't come with me. I'd probably be hanging around the airport, reading old magazines, crying in my coffee cause you didn't come with me. Actually, I think I'd probably have gotten off the train in Salsburg with someone else. Oh, yeah? Oh, I see. So, I'm just that dumb American momentarily decorating your bland canvass. I'm having a great time. Yeah? Yeah. Me too. I'm so glad because no one knows I'm here, and I don't know anyone that knows you that would tell me all those bad things you've done. Yeah. I'll tell you some. Yeah, I'm sure. You know, you hear so much shit about people. I always feel like the general of an army when I start dating a guy, y'know, plotting my strategy and manoeuverings, knowing his weak points, what would hurt him, seduce him. It's horrible. If we were around each other all the time, what do you think would be the first thing about me that would drive you mad? -No, uh, no, no, I'm not gonna answer this question, no. -Why? I just, I dated this girl once who, who used to always ask me that question, 'What about me bugs you?' y'know. And so finally I said, well, y'know, I, uh, just don't think you handle criticism too well. She flew into a rage, and broke up with me, alright. That's a true story. All she ever really wanted to do was to have an excuse to tell me what she thought was wrong with me, y'know. Is that what you want? What? Something about me bugs you? No. It's alright. Tell me. What is it? What about me bugs you? Nothing, nothing at all. Well, if it had to be something, what would it be? If it had to be something, if I had to think about it, I... I kind of didn't really like this reaction back at the palm reader. You were like this rooster prick. Rooster prick? Yeah. I was a rooster prick? You were like a little boy whining because all the attention wasn't focused on him. Alright, listen, this woman robs you blind, okay? You were like a little boy walking by an ice cream store, crying because his mother wouldn't buy him a milkshake or something. I don't care what this woman has to say about anything. Hello? What? Oh, I understand a little bit, but he doesn't, I'm sorry. Okay, uh, so, um, may I ask you a question? Yeah. So, I would like to make a deal with you. I mean, instead of just asking you for money, I will ask you for a word. Yeah, You give me a word, I take the word, and then, and then I will write a poem, with the word inside. And if you like it, I mean, if you like my poem, and you feel it adds something to your life in any way, then you can pay me whatever you feel like. I will write in English, of course. Okay. Great, alright. So? Pick a word. Ummm... A word, uh... milkshake. Milkshake? oh, good. Yeah, was gonna say rooster prick, but great. Milkshake. Milkshake? Okay, milkshake. Yeah, right, so we'll... Good. What can I say? I like this Viennese variation of a bum. I like what he said about adding something to your life, no? Yeah. So, uh, were we having our first fight back there? No... Yeah, I think so, I think we were. Well, even if we were a little bit, y'know. Why does everyone think conflict is so bad. There's a lot of good things coming out of conflict. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I don't know, y'know, I always think that if I could just accept the fact that my life was supposed to be difficult, y'know that's what's to be expected, then, I might not get so pissed off about it, and I'd just be glad when something nice happens. Maybe that's why I'm still in school, y'know. Its easier to have something to fight against. Yeah, well, we've all had such competitiveness engrained in us... ...You know, I could be doing the most nothing thing, y'know, I could be, uh, throwing some darts, or shooting some pool, and all of a sudden, I feel it come over me, 'I have got to win' Is that why you tried to get me off the train? Competitiveness? What do you mean? Okay. Look at the poem. Oh, alright. Will you read it to us? Sure, okay. Daydream delusion. Limousine Eyelash Oh, baby with your pretty face Drop a tear in my wineglass Look at those big eyes See what you mean to me Sweet cakes and milkshakes I am a delusioned angel I am a fantasy parade. I want you to know what I think. Don't want you to guess anymore. You have no idea where I came from. We have no idea where we're going. Launched in life. Like branches in the river. Flowing downstream. Caught in the current. I'll carry you. You'll carry me. That's how it could be. Don't you know me Don't you know me by now. Great. Thanks. Thanks, man -Uh, Here you go, uh. -Thanks. Thank you. Yeah, good luck, man. Bye. That's wonderful, no? Yeah, yeah. What? You know he probably didn't just write that. I mean, you know he wrote it, but he probably just plugs that word in, y'know, whatever 'milkshake'... What do you mean? Nothing, I love it, it was great. You know what drives me crazy? What? Its all these people talking about how great technology is, and how it saves all this time. But, what good is saved time, if nobody uses it? If it just turns into more busy work. Yeah. Right, I mean, you never hear somebody say, "Well, y'know, with, uh, the time I've saved by using my word processor, I'm gonna go to a Zen monastery and hang out." I mean, you never hear that. Time is so abstract anyway. Were you looking at this girl? What? What? Nothing. Do you want to go in here? What? Do you want to go in here? Yeah. Its a club, no? Yeah. -Wanna go? -Yeah. Allo. 50 shillings. Each. I got a hundred. Here, I got it. I'll buy you a beer.Thank you. You gonna buy me a beer? Yeah You think Ole Milwaukee's a little expensive here? Merde! Well, um, we haven't talked about this yet, but, are you dating anyone? You got a boyfriend waiting on you back in Paris, or anything like that? No, not right now. not right but you did! We broke up about six months ago. Six months ago. Yeah. I'm sorry. I mean, I'm not that sorry. But, uh, tell me about it. Ah, no. No, no way, I can't. Its really, really boring. C'mon, tell me about it. Okay. I was really disappointed. I thought this one would last for a while. I mean he was very stupid, ugly, bad in bed, alcoholic, -y'know -Real prize-winner. Yeah.I was kind of giving him a favour, but he left me, saying I loved him too much, and, y'know, I was blocking his artistic expression, or some shit like that, y'know. But anyway, I was traumatized, and became and became totally obsessed with him. And so I went to see this shrink, y'know, and it came out that I had written this little stupid story about this woman, trying to kill her boyfriend, and how she was gonna do it, y'know, with all the intricate details, of, y'know, how to do it, and not get caught, and She was gonna kill her boyfriend? Yeah. Yeah, she was. I mean, its nothing I would do, but it was just some writing, y'know. Alright, no, no, I understand. But anyway, this stupid shrink believed everything I was telling her, and it was my first time seeing her. She said she had to call the police. She had to call the police? Yeah. She was, merde! she was totally convinced I was really gonna do it. y'know, even though I'd explained to her it was just some writing, y'know. She said, looking deep into my eyes, "The way you said it, I know you are going to do it, the way you said it." She was totally out of her mind. It was my first and last session. Yeah, so what happened then? I totally got over him, you know. But now I'm obsessed that he's gonna die from an accident, or, you know, 1000 kms away, I'm gonna be the one accused. Why do you become obsessed with people you don't really like that much, you know, I mean. I don't know. So, how about you? What? Are you with anyone? Umm, its funny how we managed to avoid this subject for so long, isn't it? Yeah, but now you have to tell me. Well, I kind of see this all love as this, uh, escape for two people who don't know how to be alone, y'know, or, uh. I mean, y'know its funny. People always talk about how love is this totally unselfish, giving thing, but if you think about it, y'know, there's nothing more selfish. Yeah, I know. So, she just broke up with you? What? You sound like you've just been hurt, or something. No.... do I? Yeah. Alright. Um, Big confession, y'know. I should have told you the earlier, or something, but, y'know... I didn't just come to Europe just to hang out, and read Hemingway in Paris, and shit like that, y'know. I saved up my money all spring to, uh, fly to Madrid, and spend the summer with my girlfriend, who has been on this... Your girlfriend? My EX-girlfriend, who has been on this asinine art history program for the last year. Anyway, I got here, right, and now we're re-united, at long last, and we went out to dinner, our first night, ah, with six of her friends. Pedro, Antonio, Gonzalo, Maria, Suzie, from home, y'know. She pretty much managed to avoid being alone with me for the first couple of days we were there, and I stuck around for a while, just to kind of let it really sink in that she wished I hadn't come. So I bought the cheapest flight out of Europe, this one leaving out of Vienna tomorrow, but it didn't leave for a couple of weeks. So, I bought this Eurail pass, y'know. y'know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? Its when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with, and you realize that that is how little they're thinking about you, y'know. Y'know, you'd like to think that you're both in all this pain, but really, they're just, Hey, I'm glad you're gone. I know. You should look at bright colours. What? That's what the shrink told me, y'know. I was paying her 900 francs an hour, to hear that I was a homicidal maniac, and that I could eliminate my obsession if I would concentrate on bright colours. Yeah, well did it work? Well, Didn't help your pinball, did it? No. Yeah, well, you know. I haven't... I haven't killed anyone lately. Not lately? Well, that's good, you're cured, then. I mean, there's these breeds of monkeys, right, and all they do is have sex, like, all the time, y'know. And, uh, they turn out to be, like, the least violent, the most peaceful, the most happy, y'know, so I mean, maybe fooling around is not so bad. Are you talking about monkeys? Yes. I'm talking about monkeys. Ah, I thought so, yeah. Why? You know, I never heard this one, but it reminds me of, like, this perfect, y'know, male argument to justify them fooling around. No, no, no. Woman monkeys are fooling around, too. Everybody's fooling around. Yeah, that's cute. You know, I have this awful paranoid thought, that feminism was mostly invented by men, so they could, like, fool around a little more. You know, women, free your minds, free your bodies, sleep with me. We're all happy and free as long as I can fuck as much as I want. Alright, alright, alright. But maybe, maybe there's some biological things at work here. I mean, if you had an island, right, and there were 99 women on the island, and only one man, in a year, you'd have the possibility of 99 babies. But if you have an island with 99 men, and only one woman, in a year, you'd have the possibility of only one baby. So... So. You know what? What? On this island, y'know, I think that there will only be, like, maybe 43 men left. Because they would kill each other, trying to fuck this poor woman, you know what I mean? And on the other island, there would be 99 women, 99 babies, and no more man, because they would have all gotten together, and eaten him alive. Oh yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? See... see, I think there's something to that. I think on some level, women don't mind the idea of destroying a man, y'know. Like I was once walking down the street with my ex-girlfriend, y'know, right, and we just walked by these, like, real four, I was once walking down the street with my ex-girlfriend, y'know, right, and we just walked by these, like, real four, kind of thuggy looking guys, next to a Camaro, y'know, and one of 'em, sure enough, says, 'Hey baby, nice ass.' Y'know, I mean. So, I'm like, alright, Hey, no big deal, I'm not gonna get uptight about this, right? Yeah, plus, there were four of them, right? Yeah, exactly, there's four of them, right, but she turns around and she says Fuck you, dickheads, and I'm like, Okay, wait a minute, here, right.They're not gonna come over here and kick her ass, y'know what I mean. So who just got pushed to the front line on that one? You see what I'm saying? I mean, women say they hate it if your all territorial and protective, but if it suits them, then they'll tell you you're being all unmanly, or wimpy, or, uh. You know what? I don't think women really want to destroy men, and if, even if they want to, they don't.. they don't succeed. You know what I mean? I'm sure even, y'know, men are destroying women, or are able... capable of destroying women, much more than women... Well, anyway, its depressing, I mean y'know what? What? You want to stop talking about this? -Yeah. I really hate it. You know Men-Women you know, its, -its... there's no end to this, like, y'know... Its like a skipping record, y'know Yeah. Every couple's been having this conversation forever. Any nobody's come up with anything. I saw a documentary on that. It's a birth dance. A birth dance. Yeah. Should I give her some money? Yeah. Everything that's interesting costs a little bit of money. I'm telling you. So, birth dance, huh? Looked a little bit like a mating dance to me. No, but really. Women used this when giving birth. In some parts of the world, they still do it. Yeah? Yeah. The woman in labour enters a tent, and the women of her tribe surround her, and dance, and they encourage the birthing woman to dance with them as... so as to make the birth less painful. Yeah... When the baby is born, they all dance in celebration. Wow. I don't think my mom would've gone for that. I like the idea of dancing as a common function in life, something everybody participates in. Yeah, I know. I heard about this old guy, who was watching some young people dance. And he said, how beautiful. They're trying to shake off their genitals, and become angels. I like that Alright. One question, though, back there. When the women are dancing, and being all spiritual, and stuff, right? Where are the men? Are we out food-gathering? Are we not invited? Y'all don't need us? What? Men are lucky we don't bite off their head after mating. Certain insects do that, you know, like spiders, and stuff. We, at least, let you live. What are you complaining about? Yes. See, you're officially kidding, but there's something to that, you know. You keep bringing stuff like that up. What? Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute. Talking seriously here. I mean, .. I, I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making... making it look my... my whole life is revolving around some guy. But Loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more? Hmmm. Yeah, I don't know . Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband, and sometimes that feels really close. But then, other times, it seems silly. Like, it would, uh, ruin my whole life. And its not just a, uh, a fear of commitment, or that I'm incapable of caring, or loving, because I can. It's just that if I'm totally honest with myself, I think I'd rather die knowing that I was really good at something, that I had excelled in some way, y'know, then that I had just been in a nice, caring relationship. Yeah but I had worked for this older man, and once he told me that he had spent all of his life thinking about his career and his work, and... he was 52 and it suddenly struck him that he had never really given anything of himself. His life was for no one, and nothing. He was almost crying saying that. Y'know, I believe if there's any kind of God, it wouldn't be in any of us. Not you, or me... but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something . I know, its almost impossible to succeed, but... who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt. I really think this is a civilization in decline. Look at the service. I mean, where is the waitress? In New York, this person would be out of a job. Okay, now I'm going to call my best friend in Paris, who I'm supposed to have lunch with in 8 hours. Okay? okay. Dring-Dring. Dring-Dring. Dring-Dring. Pick up! What? Pick up the phone. Oh, hello? Àllo? MmHmm. Vanie? Ici Lina. Ahh... Comment ça-va? Ah, bien, et toi? Vanie, ma vacation est incroyable! Ahhh... y' - a- I- y'know, I've been working on my English, recently, w- y'want to talk in English? Yeah, okay, that's a good idea. Ummm... I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it for lunch today, I'm sorry. I... I met a guy on the train, and I got off with him in Vienna. We're still there. Are you crazy? Probably. We.. wa.. he's Austrian, he's from there? N-n-n-n-no. He's passing through here too. He's American. He's going back home tomorrow morning. Why'd you get off the train with him? Well... he convinced me. Well, actually I was I was ready to get off the train with him after talking to him a short while. He was so sweet, I couldn't help it. We were in the lounge car, and he began to talk about him, as a little boy, seeing his great-grandmother's ghost. I think that's when I fell for him. Just the idea of this little boy with all those beautiful dreams. He trapped me. MmHmm And he's so cute! He has beautiful blue eyes, nice big lips, , greasy hair, I love it. He's kind of tall, and a little clumsy. I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away. He kind of kisses like an adolescent, its so cute. What? Yeah, we kissed. It was so adorable. As the night went on, I began to like him more and more. But I'm afraid he's scared of me. Y'know, I told him the story about the woman that kills her ex-boyfriend, and stuff. He must be scared to death.He must be thinking I'm this manipulative, mean woman. I just hope he doesn't feel that way about me, because you know me, I'm the most harmless person. The only person I could really hurt is myself. I don't think he's scared of you. I think he's crazy about you. Really? I mean, I've known you a long time, and I got a good feeling. You gonna see him again? We haven't talked about that yet. Okay its your turn. You call your friend.Okay? Alright, alright. Umm... Uh,Bring-Bring-Bring.I usually get this guys answering machine. Brawwwwwwng. Hi dude, what's up? Uhhhh... Hey Frank, how you been? Glad you're home. Cool. Yeah. So, how was Madrid? Uh, Madrid... sucked! Y'know, Lisa and I had our long-overdue meltdown. Oh. Too bad. I told you, no? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The long-distance thing just never works. I was only in Madrid for a couple of days. I got a cheaper flight, out of Vienna... but, uh, y'know, it really wasn't that much cheaper. I just, uh... I couldn't go home right away. I didn't want to see anybody I knew, I just wanted to be a ghost. Completely anonymous. So are you okay, now? Yeah. Yeah, no, no, yeah, I'm great, I'm great! That's the thing, I'm... I'm rapturous. And I'll tell you why. I met somebody. On my last night in Europe, can you believe that? Ah, That's incredible. I know, I know. And you know how they say we're all each others' demons and angels? Well, she was literally a Botaccelli angel. Just telling me that everything was gonna be okay. How did you meet? On the train. Yeah, she was sitting next to this very weird couple who started fighting so she had to move. She sat right across the aisle from me. So, we started to talk, and, uh, she didn't like me much at first. She's super smart, very passionate, um... and beautiful. And I was so unsure of myself. I thought everything I said sounded so stupid. Oh, man, I wouldn't worry about that. No... No, I'm sure she was not judging you. No... And by the way, she sat next to you, no? I'm sure she did it on purpose. Oh, Yeah? Yeah. Us men are so stupid. We don't understand anything about women. They act kind of strange. The little I know of them. Don't they? Yeah. I feel like this is, uh, some dream world we're in, y'know. Yeah, it's so weird. Its like our time together is just ours. Its our own creation. It must be like I'm in your dream, and you in mine, or something. And what's so cool is that this whole evening, all our time together, shouldn't officially be happening. Yeah, I know. Maybe that's why this feels so otherworldly. But then the morning comes, and we turn into pumpkins, right? Yeah, I know. But at this time, I think you're supposed to produce the glass slipper, and see if it fits. Yeah? Yeah. It'll fit. This friend of mine had a kid, and it was a home birth, so he was there helping out and everything. And he said at that profound moment of birth, uh, he was watching this child, experiencing life for the first time, I mean, trying to take its first breath... all he could think about was that he was looking at something that was gonna die someday. He just couldn't get it out of his head. And I think that's so true, I mean, all-- everything is so finite. I mean, but, but don't you think that that's what, um, makes our time, at specific moments, so important? Yeah, I know. It's the same for us, tonight, though. After tomorrow morning, we're probably never going to see each other again, right? You don't think we'll ever see each other again? What do you think? Well, um, gosh, I don't know. uh, I mean, I hadn't planned another trip to... Oh, Me too, y'know. I live in Paris, you live in the US. I totally understand that... I mean, I'd hate to make you fly. You know, you hate to fly, right? I'm not so scared of flying. I mean I could... I mean, if you were gonna come to the US, or if, y'know, I mean, if I, or y'know, I mean, I could come back here, I mean... What? Now let's just be rational adults about this. We, maybe we should try something different. I mean, its no so bad if tonight is our only night, right? People always exchange phone numbers, addresses, they end up writing once, calling each other once or twice... Right. Fizzles out. Yeah, I mean, I don't want that. I hate that. I hate that too, y'know. Why do you think everybody thinks relationships are supposed to last forever anyway? Yeah, why. It's stupid. So, you think tonight's it, huh? I mean, that, tonight's our only night. Its the only way, no? Well, alright. Let's do it. No delusions, no projections. We'll just make tonight great. Okay, let's do that. Okay. We should do some kind of handshake, you know. Give me your hand. Alright. To our one and only night together, and the hours that remain. What? Its just... its depressing, no? That the... the only thing we're gonna think of is when we're gonna have to say goodbye tomorrow. Well, we could say goodbye now. Then we wouldn't have to worry about it in the morning. Now? Yeah. Say goodbye. Bye. Goodbye. you have a... Au revoir. later. Later, yeah. Alright, so here's the plan, right. You're gonna grab the glasses, and I'm gonna get the wine -Red wine -Red wine. right. -You think you can do that? -Nooooo problem -wish me luck -okay good luck -Hello. -Hello. Uh... Do you speak English? Euh, a bit. Yeah, a bit? Well, alright. I'm having kind of an odd situation here, which is that... Uh, this is... you see that girl over there? Yeah... Yeah, well, this is our only night together. Um, And she, ahh, ALright. Here's the problem The problem is that she wants a bottle of red wine, and I don't have any money. I was thinking that you might want to, um, give me the address of this bar No, I know...and I would promise to send you the money, and you would make our night complete You would send me the money? Yes. Your hand?. Okay For the greatest night in your life Thank you very much So often in my life I've been with people, and shared beautiful moments like travelling, or staying up all night and watching the sunrise, and I knew those were special moments. But something was always wrong. I wished I'd been with someone else. I knew that what I was feeling, exactly what was so important to me, they didn't understand. But I'm happy to be with you. You couldn't possibly know why a night like this is so important to my life right now, but it is. This is a great morning. It is a great morning. Do you think we'd have others like this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know what you mean about wishing somebody wasn't there, though. Its just usually its myself that I wish I could get away from. Seriously, think about this. I have never been anywhere that I haven't been. I've never had a kiss when I wasn't one of the kissers. Y'know, I've never, um, gone to the movies, when I wasn't there in the audience. I've never been out bowling, if I wasn't there, y'know making some stupid joke. I think that's why so many people hate themselves. Seriously, its just they are sick to death of being around themselves. Lets say that you and I were together all the time, then you'd start to hate a lot of my mannerisms. The way, uh, the way every time we would have people over, uh, I'd be insecure, and I'd get a little too drunk. or, uh, the way I'd tell the same stupid pseudo-intellectual story again, and again. Y'see, I've heard all those stories. So of course I'm sick of myself. But being with you, uh, its made me feel like I'm somebody else. Y'know the only other way to lose yourself like that is, um, y'know, dancing, or alcohol, or drugs, and stuff like that. Fucking? Fuh... Fucking? Yeah, that's one way, yeah. Do you know what I want? What? To be kissed. Well, I can do that. Wait! I have to say something stupid. Alright. Its very stupid. Okay. I don't think we should sleep together. I mean, I want to, but since we're never gonna see each other again... it'll make me feel bad. I won't know who else you're with. I'll miss you. I know. It's not very adult. Maybe its a female thing, I can't help it. Let's see each other again. No, I don't want you to break our vow, just os you can get laid. I don't want to just get laid. I want to um, I mean, I mean, I think we should. I mean, we'll be done in the morning, right? I think we should. No, then its like some male fantasy. Meet a french girl on a train, fuck her, and never see her again. That would be this great story to tell, I don't want to be a great story. I dont want this great evening to just have been for that. -Okay? -Okay. Okay We don't have to have sex. It's not a big deal. Okay. You don't want to see me again? No, of course I do. Listen, if somebody gave me the choice right now, of to never see you again or to marry you, alright, I would marry you, alright. And maybe that's a lot of romantic bullshit, but people have gotten married for a lot less. Actually, I think I had decided I wanted to sleep with you when we got off the train. But now that we've talked so much, I don't know anymore. Why do I make everything so complicated? I don't know. What do you think's the first thing you're gonna do when you get back to Paris? Call my parents. Yeah? What about you? I don't know... I'll probably go pick up my dog. He's staying with a friend of mine. You have a dog? Yeah. I love dogs. You do? Yeah. Oh shit. What? Oh, I don't know. We're back in real time. I know. I hate that. What is that? Sounds like a harpsicord. Check that out Cool. We'll dance to the harpsicord. Of course. Oh, wow. What? Uh.... I'm gonna take your picture. So I never forget you or, uh, or all this. Okay. Me too. And the years shall run like rabbits What? Nothing. Nothing. I have this, uh, recording of Dylan Thomas, reading a W.H.Auden poem. He's got a great voice. You just... It's like, uh... What, what? All the clocks in the city Began to whir, and chime. Oh, let not time deceive you, You can not conquer time. In headaches and in worry, Vaguely life leaks away. And time will have its fancy, Tomorrow, or today. Hm. Something like that. Its good. When you talked earlier about after a few years, how a couple begin to hate each other, by anticipating their reactions, or getting tired of their mannerisms. I think it would be the opposite for me. I think I could really fall in love when I know everything about someone. The way he's gonna part his hair. Which shirt he's gonna wear that day. Knowing the exact story he'd tell in a given situation. I'm sure that's when I'd know I'm really in love. Hey guess what? What? We didn't go to those guys' play. Play? Yeah. The cow? Yeah. Yeah, we didn't. Oh no, we missed it. Okay, you know what bus you're taking to the airport? Yeah, yeah. No problem. I should get on this one Right here? You want to get on there? Yeah. Okay. I guess this is it, no? Yeah. Um, I really, I, uh, I... I mean, you know what I mean. Yeah, I know what -- I, uh. Yeha, My... Have a great life. Have fun with everything you're gonna do. Work hard... Yeah. Good luck in school, and all that. Okay. I hate this. Me too. My train is about to leave. Yeah. Listen. Listen. You know all this bullshit we're talking about, about not seeing each other again? I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that either. You don't either? I was waiting for you to say something. Well, why didn't you say something? I was afraid maybe you didn't want to see me. Alright, alright, well look. Listen, listen. What-d... what-d... What do you want to do? Maybe... maybe we should meet here, in five years or something. Alright, alright. Five years. Five years? That's a long time. Yes. Its awful. Its like a sociological experiment. How about one year? One year. Alright, alright. One year. How about six months? Six months? Yeah. Its gonna be freezing. Yeah? Yeah. Who cares? We come here, we go somewhere else. Okay. Okay. Uh, six months from now, or last night? Um... Last night. Six months from last night, which was, uh, uh, June 16th. So uh, Track Nine, six months from now, at six o'clock at night. Dece-- December. December, yeah, right. Now listen, its a train ride for you, but I got to fly all the way over here and shit like that, alright, but I'm going to be here. Okay, me too. Alright. And we're not gonna call or write or... Na... Na. Its depressing. -Yeah, okay. -Alright. Alright, your train's gonna leave. Say goodbye. Bye. Goodbye. Au revoir. Later. |
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