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Beverly Hills Ninja

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For Hundreds of years in Japan there has lived a clan...
...who have dedicated themselves to to a secret art of self-defence
...and survival.
The art is so lethal that it has made the clan invincible.
To this day, we are known as...
Twenty-five years ago... ancient legend of this sacred art came alive.
It spoke of a foreign child who would come among us...
...and become a ninja master like none other.
How he arrived on our shores...
...will forever remain a mystery.
We ninjas thought that this child...
...would be the Great White Ninja of the legend.
We were wrong.
We were very wrong.
I need your honest opinion about something.
Yes, sensei.
What do you think of Haru?
I Iove my brother. His heart's Iike a fIower.
His determination's Iike a tiger.
He's fat, a fooI and an embarrassment to ninjas.
Today, I am proud to be your sensei.
This is that speciaI time when I can say to you... are a ninja.
You can communicate with other ninjas... projecting yourseIf onto the PIane of EnIightenment.
...on this pIane...
...which can be shared by no other mortaI...
...we can aIways contact each other wherever we may be.
As a ninja... are one with the universe.
AII of you who are graduating today...
...wiII receive the medaIIion of the Tengu Warrior.
However, I give the goIden medaIIion to my finest student.
Forged in the fires of confidence and discipIine.
Carry it with you aIways.
Sorry, Haru.
CongratuIations, big brother.
Wait! Sensei, wait for me!
Sensei, I am so excited about tonight.
I have been waiting for such a Iong time!
Tonight's exercise is for the ninjas onIy.
But your job is an important one.
You are to remain here to protect the viIIage...
...and guard the dojo.
I shaII do as you say.
I shaII protect the viIIage and guard the dojo.
And I shaII water the pIants.
Good Iuck. Good Iuck.
Stay Iow so as not to be detected.
Good Iuck, my brother.
Do not try it.
Are you communicating with me?
Are you communicating with me?
Excuse me. Is this the Takagure dojo?
I'm sorry. This must be the wrong pIace.
No! PIease do not go. I mean....
Yes, this is the Takagure dojo.
Oh, thank goodness.
Let me take your...
Thank you.
I was toId that I couId find a ninja here.
PIease, sit.
Thank you.
That's very impressive.
So are you a ninja?
Yes, I am.
But you're white.
You're observant, as weII as beautifuI.
I didn't expect to find a white ninja.
Do not be fooIed by my skin coIour.
Have you heard of the white chiId who wiII be the greatest ninja master?
-Is that you? -Some say it is so.
You see, it is written in this hoIy writ.
This hoIds the teachings of aII ninjutsu...
...that have been passed down over five centuries.
In this is a Iegend about a Great White Ninja?
You see here:
'' In the 1 6th century there came to pass--''
It's the wrong writ.
This is about the sensei and twin geishas. AIso a good Iegend...
...but not the one we were Iooking for.
Here is my Iegend.
'' It's toId that a foreign chiId wiII come...
...and become a ninja master Iike no other.''
It's burning.
The words are seared into my souI.
-It's reaIIy on fire! -Yes, I can teII--
They may have a second copy.
PIease teII me why you have come to my dojo.
I warn you that what I'm asking might be dangerous.
Danger is my companion.
SaIIy. SaIIy Jones.
I am Haru. Do not worry about Haru.
This ninja knows no fear.
You see, I'm a trained master in aII the weapons of battIe.
That rack was not buiIt by ninjas.
This, however, was.
Luck is with me...
...for this sacred shrine hoIds the ashes...
...of our faIIen ninja warriors.
Sensei is going to kiII me!
Master Go.
I think they worked as a team.
TeII me why you are in need of a ninja.
Ninjas can get into pIaces without being seen.
What I need requires great steaIth.
You are in Iuck. My highest grades were in steaIth.
Here's an exampIe. CIose your eyes, turn around and count to nine.
When you open them, I wiII be gone.
One, two...
...three, four...
...five, six..., eight...
Here I am.
SaIIy Jones, I accept your dangerous mission.
Oh, that's great. Thank you.
Here's my probIem. I'm seeing this man.
-You have a man friend. -I'm suspicious of him.
-He's seeing another woman. -I think it's bigger than that.
I've discovered he has a meeting tomorrow.
ExceIIent. You too shouId be a ninja.
Find out what he's up to. His name's Martin TanIey...
...and he has a Iimo with this Iicense pIate number.
3-5-1 -0-2. Where shaII I contact you?
It's important that you don't contact me.
I'II contact you before I Ieave.
Whatever you wish. I'II foIIow your boyfriend, SaIIy.
My eyes are Iike the tentacIes of a squid.
I guess.
Thank you.
Yes! I got you.
Good morning, Mr. TanIey.
It's aII set. They'II meet us here.
Let's have a Iook at it.
-Oh, yes. -It's a perfect counterfeit.
One we can dupIicate 1 0 miIIion times.
Martin TanIey, attack me with your front gate...
...I come in the back door.
Oh, yes. They are beautifuI.
-I have some bad news. -What?
The pIates are for onIy one side of the biII.
Excuse me?
-The pIates are in Los AngeIes. -Why?
-I don't know. -You're paid to know.
I arranged to get this set of pIates.
I just paid a miIIion doIIars for one side of a 1 0,000 yen biII.
-What good does that do me? -No good.
Here's some advice for your next Iife:
Never take a job you can't compIete.
I'm sorry I posed as a ninja, but this woman needed my heIp.
It's you who needs heIp.
The poIice beIieve a ninja committed a murder.
BeIieve me, sensei, I kiIIed no one.
I do beIieve you, Haru. But I'm worried.
Don't worry about me. The woman's in troubIe.
Is it IikeIy that this woman hired you... she couId bIame someone for this murder?
She's incapabIe of such things. She is as IoveIy as a dove.
It sounds to me you are being Ied around by your short sword.
Gobei caIIed her hoteI. There's no one named SaIIy Jones.
A woman such as you described had the name AIison Page.
Perhaps she gave a faIse name.
Perhaps she gave you the faIse name.
BeIieve me. This woman's teIIing the truth.
You are unabIe to teII truth from untruth.
ImpossibIe. My ninja intuition teIIs me this.
You don't have ninja intuition, or even normaI intuition.
My feeIings teII me SaIIy Jones is in troubIe.
I must protect her in America.
What makes you think you can find her in America?
I have this.
I must go to the hiIIs of BeverIy, and save SaIIy Jones.
And prove, once and for aII, that I am the Great White Ninja.
I wiII miss you. Goodbye.
Gobei, I've aIways Iooked up to you, and you've aIways Iooked out for me.
But now I'II Iook out for myseIf.
Be carefuI in your traveIs. The worId is dangerous.
Thank you, big brother.
Though I think it is wrong for you to make this journey...
...I want you to take this.
Use them onIy for necessities.
BeIieve in yourseIf, my son.
I know you wiII succeed.
Thank you, sensei.
There is no better father that a boy couId have had.
Go, Haru.
Wait! Wait up!
Goodbye, everyone!
I'm going to miss him.
No, you wiII not.
Because you are going with him.
No! PIease! Anything but that!
Goodbye, my famiIy!
See you! Don't worry--
You'II be his shadow.
No one can know you are heIping him...
...especiaIIy Haru.
Goodbye, everyone!
I'II take your bag.
Empty your pockets, pIease.
I am sure you'd Iike to know who I am and what I do.
But as part of my creed, I cannot teII you.
My identity must remain mysterious and my mission secret.
-I cannot reveaI it to you. -Why not?
Because I wouId then have to kiII you.
Daddy, he said he was going to kiII me!
What'd you say?
I was reIating to the chiId the importance--
That's it. Grab it.
Thanks, asshoIe!
You are weIcome.
What happened?
The pIates were taken by the gang, Kobudosai.
I want them back.
It's being arranged.
But it's deIicate, not Iike in Japan.
Nobu, this is BeverIy HiIIs. Everyone's deIicate.
That's why crooks Iike me are respected.
-My dear, how was your shopping? -Good.
Share some Iunch?
-May I take your bag? -Thanks, asshoIe.
You're weIcome, sir.
You see, sensei, it is aII coming together.
Seventy-three minutes to deIiver two suitcases and a garment bag.
Do you have an expIanation?
I seem to be coming down with a miId case of tunneI carpaI syndrome.
I think it's from carrying heavy garment bags.
I don't want to go on disabiIity and sue the company for miIIions.
So I figured I wouId just pace myseIf.
Mr. Washington, everything you do irritates me.
I'm gonna go soak my wrists.
May I heIp you, sir?
Yes. I am Iooking for a SaIIy Jones.
I'm sorry. I don't see that name in my computer.
Now, if you'II excuse me.
Is the cost of your Iodgings great?
Compared to what? A hut in a rice paddy?
We're a five-star hoteI with 800 rooms booked six months in advance.
-I have money. -I'm sure you do.
-UnfortunateIy, we don't take wampum. -Do you take goId?
Perhaps I shaII send Dom Perignon to your room?
I prefer to be aIone tonight.
Perhaps Iater I'II meet your friend Don.
1 -A.
My wrists!
What you got in here, car radios?
Here you go, sir.
WeIcome to the Rodeo PIaza HoteI.
What are you? A spy or something?
A spy?
A spy is Iike a gnat compared to a ninja.
You're a ninja? Get out of here! You're a ninja!
Yes, I am a ninja.
I took karate Iessons. I'm not as advanced as you.
I'm a tangerine beIt, orange beIt.
I'm one of them citrus coIours. You know?
Very admirabIe. Then perhaps you'II know...
...what these are.
Man, that was dope!
Are you a third-degree bIack beIt?
My bIack beIt is Iike the inside of a coffin...
...on a moonIess night.
-That's pretty bIack. -It is a bIack art.
And I, Haru, am the bIackest of the bIack.
Or, actuaIIy, the Great White, bIack art...
...bIackest master.
Hey, man.
Do you know what I do every day?
-No. What? -I'm running.
I'm aIways running. My neighbourhood's bad.
I run to get cigarettes, to take out the trash.
You know why? Whenever I Ieave my house...
...somebody's waiting to kick my ass.
Show me a IittIe of what you know. A kick or a jab. Something.
If I do, give me your soIemn promise...
...not to question my authority.
No probIem, man. I went to CathoIic schooI.
AII right then, Joey. I'II do what I can.
Lesson number one: AIways be on your guard.
AIways be on my guard. AII right. You the ninja.
On my guard.
Lesson number two:
Your foe's back can quickIy become his front.
Lesson 34: The technique for ripping a man's head off... by using your bare hands.
This requires discipIine. Years or decades to achieve.
I suggest that you practise on chickens.
Ninja secret. Chickens.
Here is what I was Iooking for, Joey.
A BeverIy HiIIs disguise.
Something simpIe and naturaI, yet subtIe and cunning.
You wait here.
I got your back.
-You Iook Iike a pimp. -Thank you.
As a pimp, I'II bIend into the city Iike MSG into miso soup.
-It's time for me to find my dove. -How do we do that?
She's rich, beautifuI and bIond.
How many rich bIonds couId there be?
NaturaI bIondes? I'm in. Let's do it.
We are entering a dangerous phase.
A mistake couId jeopardize SaIIy's Iife.
So what are you saying? I can't go?
Oh, my gosh! Get away from me, you creep!
I thought we was homies. You're my boy, my ninja.
-We're Iike this. -A ninja master knows best.
You're questioning my authority.
You're right.
-If you need me, I'II be at the hoteI. -Okay. Good work today.
SaIIy Jones!
I mistook you for a friend of mine.
You Iook Iike her. I mean, him.
Up cIose, you don't Iook Iike either. They are twins.
And they.... This is nice.
Excuse me, I have to be going. Thank you.
SaIIy! SaIIy Jones! It is I, Haru!
-Why are you here? -You said you needed a ninja.
I've come many miIes disguised as a pimp to heIp you.
Just go away.
I'II rescue you.
I don't need to be rescued. Just Ieave.
I see. Very smart.
It is better that you not Iet them know I am here.
Here, take this.
I discovered your boyfriend is a counterfeiter and a kiIIer.
You can be sure he's cheating on you too.
Do not despair. I wiII be ever-vigiIant.
I'II be watching your every move. Making sure that as the--
Do not be afraid, my dove.
I wiII be watching you.
There you are.
We'II see who is the hunter and who is the prey, Martin TanIey.
Martin TanIey, you have Ieft a traiI a sIoth couId foIIow.
Thanks for meeting us, Mr. Ozaru.
-It's best we resoIve our differences. -Perfect agreement.
Cut the buIIshit. How much for your pIates?
You have it backwards.
The Kobudosai wiII buy your pIates.
Do you think you can waItz in, grab the pIates and run the show?
You don't have a choice, Mr. TanIey.
I wiII know. I wiII do.
I am one with the universe.
HoIy Shinto!
I am one with the universe.
No, I am not... with the universe!
Let's discuss... much we're going to give you...
...for your pIates.
Get out!
HoIy Shinto!
HeIp! PoIice!
No! No!
I did not do it!
This is the site of a gangIand murder in LittIe Tokyo.
Witnesses say the assaiIant had tattoos...
...and may be a ninja.
He matches an Interpol description of a man wanted in Japan for murder.
Come to papa, baby!
Keep practising, Joey, and some day you wiII choke that chicken.
For Pete's sake.
Who is sIoppy and messing up?
Getting in the way aII the time.
Meditate on me, Haru, and we'll meet on the Plane of Enlightenment.
HeIp! I must concentrate!
-I am one with the universe! -Here, Haru!
I am here.
I hate this!
Thank you, sensei.
-HeIIo, my son -HeIIo, sensei.
-There's a probIem you are facing. -Not reaIIy.
It's just that I have been accused of another murder...
...or two.
-Come home, Haru. -I cannot, sensei.
I need your heIp finding SaIIy Jones.
I've considered severaI techniques.
I couId find the names of aII BMW saIes...
...checking on aII the Joneses, then visiting them. Or--
You couId try a phone book.
A phone book.
-Then resume your quest. -I wiII, sensei.
You thought, perhaps, an experienced ninja...
...wouId not be ready for you.
I am Haru of the Takagure dojo. Do not forget that.
I am one with the universe!
I am Haru of the Takagure....
HeIIo, AIison.
-Did Martin say when he'd be back? -No.
That's strange. We have business to go over.
It appears SaIIy's using her faIse name with these peopIe.
Very cIever, SaIIy. You reaIIy shouId be a ninja.
There's something's wrong here.
I am the onIy one who is caIIing her SaIIy Jones.
How couId she do this to me?
Do not move, AIison...AIison Page!
The guards couId kiII us both.
You are a Iiar, SaIIy... SaIIy Jones!
I'm sorry that I gave you a faIse name.
I onIy did it so TanIey wouIdn't know I hired you.
Your Iies bounce Iike Ping-Pong baIIs.
I am not Iying to you, Haru.
In fact, you've heIped me. You found out what I needed to know.
-I did? -Yes.
Look. My sister CarIa worked for TanIey.
She died mysteriousIy.
I suspected TanIey, but I couIdn't prove anything untiI you.
But you're in Iove with TanIey.
I got invoIved with him to find out about CarIa.
He doesn't know I'm her sister!
I cannot teII the truth from the untruth.
There's no time!
If I find the pIates, I'II get him. BeIieve me!
I do. I've never stopped beIieving in you.
You're not aIone. Great White Ninja's on your case.
Thank you, Haru.
Quick! Bedroom, bedroom!
Go! Go!
-What are you doing? -Looking for you.
I thought I'd make Iunch for you.
-I have a meeting. -Wait!
Let me take you to The GriII.
I can't. Not today. I'm in a bit of a hurry.
HopefuIIy, I'II see you Iater.
CaII a friend. Have a IoveIy afternoon.
Since I can't go, take them to Iunch instead.
Have a great meeting. Bye!
Good job!
Thank you.
I don't know what to do. I can't find those pIates.
Do not be disheartened. I know TanIey's next move.
I have discovered his scheduIe... this date book.
That's great.
Shrimp? Shrimp?
I gotcha!
Look at this!
Word is out that what happened couId start a war.
They can have a war.
Do not underestimate the Kobudosai.
We're not exactIy kittens.
Have you met the ink speciaIist?
Chet WaIters. I'm toId he's the best.
Good. He'II print the front haIf of the biII tomorrow.
No compIications.
What about this ninja the poIice think kiIIed Ozura?
We're Iucky there's a suspect.
And a white ninja. Who ever heard of that?
TanIey's at the first tabIe on the right.
PIease don't!
Do you know how Iong it took me to do my hair?
Hurry, my dove!
What's she doing here?
-I know how to get the pIates. -You do?
That's great.
They're coming.
A ninja knows when he's in danger.
Shoot them!
Now we are in danger. We are reaIIy in danger!
I'm one with the chicken.
Keep practising, Joey.
Thank you for Ietting me stay here.
It is my pIeasure, AIison.
Besides, there is no pIace for you to go.
Stay here. TanIey wiII be watching you.
EspeciaIIy your apartment.
I'II protect you with aII of my being.
I'm so Iucky I found you.
You reaIIy are courageous.
If onIy I had caught TanIey in Japan.
Today, you'd be basking in the safety of our dojo...
...where I'd bring you soap and sweet-smeIIing oiIs...
...that you couId rub aII over your body.
And then--
I am sorry. I got carried away.
It's okay.
Your IoyaIty is most appreciated.
WeII, I guess it's time to turn in.
-Do you want the bed or the couch? -Which wouId you prefer?
Couch is fine for me.
That wouId be fine for me too.
Good night.
Good night.
Don't worry, he's an ink speciaIist and suspects nothing.
As we taIked about, you'II distract him...
...and I'II use the ninja sIeephoId... incapacitate him. Are you ready?
Yeah, Iet's go.
WeIcome to BeverIy HiIIs Bank Note.
I'm Chet WaIters. Nice coat. Who shot the couch?
I'm kidding. What can I do you for?
Our car broke down. Mind if I use your phone?
Don't get me started on car probIems.
I got a 1 975 Fairmont.
It's about as hard to turn over as me on Laguna Beach.
I'm just bugging with you. Auto CIub is 555-9300.
Thank you.
Yep, the AAA.
I knew a guy who started off in AAA, then ended up in AA.
He got busted for DUI.
HeIIo, is this the Auto CIub?
What are you doing?
Are you not famiIiar with shiatsu massage?
Shiatsu? Watch your Ianguage. A Iady's present.
When I pIayed baII in Wisconsin...
...these cheerIeaders Iathered me up Iike a whaIe--
Get off me!
I'm caIIing the cops. Give me the phone!
-Not a ninja technique, but effective. -Put him in the back.
What're you doing?
Preparing a great ninja tooI: The Iaughing mushroom.
One pinch and he'II teII the truth about TanIey.
CarefuI, AIison.
The effects are profound. Open his mouth.
I'm invoIved in counterfeiting some money!
Big deaI!
If I get caught...
...I couId do 30 years.
TanIey is a kiIIer!
He kiIIed her sister.
When he's done, he'II probabIy kiII you!
-When are you to meet him? -Ten minutes.
If you're here when he gets here, he'II kiII us aII!
-I don't think we shouId. -I'm sorry. I was....
I wasn't trying to....
I was mereIy trying to get cIose to the tempIe, not inside.
I just wanted to cIimb the steps...
...and maybe peek at the sacred object.
Hey, how you doing? Chet WaIters. Mr. TanIey?
Nice jacket. Who shot the couch?
Very funny, Mr. WaIters. Ready to go?
You bet! Your buggy or mine?
Mine, I think.
Gotta get the gear.
Can't start an operation without the gear.
Here we are, off to the wiId bIue yonder.
You don't mind. A smaII precaution.
No, if you feeI more comfortabIe.
How wiII you drive with that on?
-It's for you. -Of course it is.
Pin the TaiI on the Donkey! Who's got the piņata?
Hear about the Iady who backed into a fan? Dis-assed-her!
-I don't care. -You bet.
Gotcha. You betcha. AIrighty. Here we go!
You pick up guys and do this aII the time?
Who's driving this buggy?
Let me guess. Don't teII me.
CaroI Channing.
Mind if I borrow this next week? I got a bIind date. A bIind date!
Which way's he going? Through the Grand Canyon?
Where did he Iearn to drive? Cooking schooI?
Thank God we made it!
Okay, Iet's take the bIindfoId off.
That's what she said. She said!
You think I ought to work before you pay me?
It's the reaI biII. Print a proof copy today.
ExactIy Iike this.
No probIem. HoId the phone a second.
OId FaithfuI!
Sure you don't want it sooner?
They don't caII me the best for nothing.
I'm in a thong Speedo, hiking boots and a backpack.
You get a ride on 83rd Avenue, dressed Iike that in the middIe of winter.
What happened?
A bug must've bit me.
My brother's in pest controI. Bring him over...
...he'II nuke every cockroach and mosquito in this dump.
CouId we pIease get to work?
I see you got the T-200 spIit-IeveI Barber ink printing press.
I printed IeafIets for the ''Shave the WhaIe'' campaign.
-''Save the WhaIe.'' -That's what you did with them?
Nobu, keep an eye on him.
Maybe it was ''Starve the WhaIes'' !
Let's see what we got baking in the oven.
Not yet a match.
It Iooks Iike we are one degree CeIsius off...
...on that magenta coIour.
I'm gonna have to quantify the 7-F reading on this...
...and that'd run it through with the surface-gravity viscosity.
I can pIug it into the MarshaII formuIa...
...and that wouId give me an accurate mix design.
They're just a IittIe bit off.
What I couId do on that is run a Pap smear...
...and then tone it down a IittIe.
-HeIIo, Mr. TanIey. -What the heII is that?
See what I'm up against? I'II rethink my inks.
...what I couId do is, I couId swing back to my shop...
...and be gone five minutes.
You couId bIindfoId me. I Iiked that anyway.
How'd that get in there?
Who are you?
Chet WaIters, ink speciaIist.
I am Haru of the Takagure dojo...
...and if you vaIue your Iife, you wiII....
Let's get him!
Open this door!
Let us out of here!
Haru, you are truIy the Great White Ninja.
Did I say ninja? I meant ninny.
'' Haru, you are such a ninny.''
Where's WaIters?
Subject me to any torture you can think of...
...but a ninja does not taIk.
Ninja? You're a ninja?
You're the fat ninja everyone's taIking about.
Great White Ninja.
The meeting with the Kobudosai is arranged.
Good. Tie him and throw him in the van.
Get rid of him Iater.
Check your guns. Kobudosai checked theirs.
My dove!
Are you aII right?
I am fine.
Let me get this bIindfoId off.
It is in the spirit of harmony we meet here today.
It is important to our community an agreement be reached.
Stop squirming! I'm undoing these ropes.
A ninja visuaIizes the straightness of the rope.
It wiII begin to untie itseIf.
Or a knife is good.
I suggest that you make your pIates our pIates.
Honoured eIder?
You know I have great respect for you, Kumagi...
...but I ruIe in favour of Mr. TanIey.
-You won't get away with this! -Yes, I wiII.
These criminaIs wiII face the justice system.
Be carefuI.
-Where's the ninja? -I don't know.
Never mind.
That's right. The LittIe Tokyo TempIe.
Stop the van.
Stop the van!
What a coincidence. Can I give you a Iift?
HeIp me!
Hands in the air!
It's him! The white ninja!
Do not shoot! I am on your side.
Let's get him!
Come on over here.
Get out of here!
I got him!
Open the door.
Keep his head down.
AIison, what have I done?
He's an idiot! I cannot do this anymore.
I had to escape from jaiI! I am coming home.
-Do not be rash, Gobei. -Rash?
He's made every mistake in the ninja book.
He is coming. Hide behind those cIouds.
I hate this!
-HeIIo, Haru. -HeIIo, sensei.
How are you, my son?
-I have tried, but I have faiIed. -That is never true.
I want so desperateIy to be a great ninja Iike Gobei, but--
Stop comparing yourseIf to Gobei.
Why, sensei? He is the best ninja ever.
I hope that he knows that I Iove him. AII I wanted was his respect.
My son...
...we wouId aII be Iucky to have a heart as big as yours.
In fact, Gobei wiII not become...
...a great ninja, untiI he Iearns that Iesson.
I tried to stop this mission because I feared for you.
But I was wrong.
You must continue.
-I must? -Yes.
Go. Save AIison. It is your duty as a ninja.
You just caIIed me a ninja.
Yes, I guess I did.
Go now.
I can do it.
Patrice, my car. Joey, come with me.
Who is steaIing my shoes?
-There's no time to waste. -I'm with you.
-Thanks, asshoIe. -My pIeasure.
-What are we doing? -Using my ninja memory...
...I wiII re-create the trip to TanIey's warehouse.
Drive, Joey.
Phat! I get to drive? AII right. Come on.
We going Iike Morgan Freeman.
Now turn right.
There was a bump. Good. There was a right after a bump.
Right after the bump.
Take off the bIindfoId! What's wrong with you?
I know just where we are. We're on the right track.
We're on the track, aII right!
I do not remember hearing thunder.
There's gotta be a turn somewhere!
-Turn right, now! -I'm turning!
This is good. I hear water. Now turn right.
Now Ieft, towards the water. Yes!
I think we're too cIose to the water.
I think we shouId go back.
-You Ied us astray. -I didn't!
I cannot swim! Joey!
We're drifting! Something's touching my face!
Joey, these sea creatures!
HeIp me!
-Head towards the mainIand! -MainIand?
Yes, the mainIand! The sea is foamy.
You have wandered way off-course!
America's weather fIuctuates vioIentIy.
Maybe we shouId go for cover.
Joey, what is that smeII?
-Piņa coIada. -I Iike it.
-Listen to my directions. -I'm going where you said!
If you cannot, I wiII have to drive.
-You must Iisten at aII times. -I'm sorry.
We must try again.
And this time, you must foIIow my directions exactIy.
Okay, no probIem.
-I'm ready. -My entire famiIy Iikes to drive--
You may drive now.
You may drive now.
Consider yourseIf very Iucky.
You've Iived Ionger than anyone who's betrayed me.
I brought you a present. A IittIe bang.
You'II vaporize before you feeI a thing.
I wish I'd kiIIed you months ago.
The feeIing's mutuaI. The difference is...
...I'm abIe to rectify my mistake.
Somebody heIp me!
Do not Iet up. We are nowhere near our destination.
Take a Ieft. Joey!
Why are we stopping here?
So we have entered the serpent's Iair.
You are a fragiIe boy.
Thank God I have a short sword.
Yeah, you go, ninja boy!
Yeah! Mr. Dojo Rising! Go for it!
I made it.
If it isn't the Great White Ninja.
WeIcome. CongratuIations on coming this far...
...but this is where your Iegend ends.
OnIy when I have ceased to breathe wiII I be dead.
Get rid of him.
-Why are you here? -I come to heIp you.
This is my dream. Let us kick some yakuza ass!
That's right. I can cIimb. I can cIimb!
So sorry, Gobei.
You shouId go save AIison.
-Can you manage without me? -I wiII try.
Somebody heIp me!
AIison, is that you?
Yes! HeIp me!
AII right!
PIease hurry!
Can you come cIoser? I'II untie you.
There's no time. There's a bomb in here.
Have no fear. I wiII defuse the bomb.
I can see now.
It is simpIe.
-Do you know what you're doing? -There, I have done it!
Your call cannot be completed as dialled.
Please check the number and dial again.
Oh, great.
-We've Iost five minutes. -Oops.
My dove, hang on!
How much time is Ieft?
Four minutes.
Do not worry.
I wiII return.
I may not be the best ninja or one with the universe.
But I'II teII you this:
No one messes with my brother!
Go! Yeah!
Look out!
So sorry.
Here I come!
Are you aII right, my brother?
Yes, Haru.
NiceIy done, Joey.
Martin TanIey.
I'm over here.
Now you're out of buIIets.
Look out!
Come on!
Do not worry.
Forty seconds.
Get out of there!
-Thirty seconds! -Hang in there, my dove.
In a moment, you'II be as free as a bird.
Are we dead?
You did it.
-I did? -Yes.
Thank you, Haru. Thank you.
I cannot say this has been an easy mission.
You are the greatest ninja of aII time.
BeIieve it or not, I doubted myseIf.
What a fooI I was.
Thanks, big brother. It's aII right.
-You did good. -Thank you, big brother.
Sorry about your head. I was going for TanIey.
A group of ninjas foiIed an attempted counterfeiting operation.
I am Iive with one of those ninjas.
This may be odd, but I thought ninjas were Japanese...
...and you seem to be bIack.
Don't be fooIed by my skin coIour. You're a TV reporter.
You've heard of the Great BIack Ninja?
-No. Is that you? -Some say it is so.
You have done weII, Haru. I am proud.
Great White Ninja or not, you made me beIieve in myseIf.
Though it wiII sadden me to see you Ieave, I am happy for you.
I know I wiII be of better use where there's no great ninjas.
I'II go with my dove to the Iand of opportunity, BeverIy HiIIs.
Whether you're the chosen one or not, I'd fight aIongside you.
Good Iuck, my brother.
My arm! It's okay.
AIison and I must Ieave.
-Goodbye. -Goodbye!
It's amazing. I think he's reaIIy changed.
Stop! Are you Iistening--? Give me my medaIIion back!
Hi, Gobei.
I am sorry, big brother!
SubtitIes by SDI Media Group
BBC - The Blue Planet (1 of 8) - Ocean World
BBC - The Blue Planet (2 of 8) - The Deep
BBC - The Blue Planet (3 of 8) - Open Ocean
BBC - The Blue Planet (4 of 8) - Frozen Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (5 of 8) - Seasonal Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (6 of 8) - Coral Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (7 of 8) - Tidal Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (8 of 8) - Coasts
Babi Leto - Autumn Spring (2002)
Baby Doll
Baby Geniuses 2 2004
Babylon 5 - 2x01 - Points of Departure
Babylon 5 - 2x02 - Revelations
Babylon 5 - 2x03 - The Geometry of Shadows
Babylon 5 - 2x04 - A Distant Star
Babylon 5 - 2x04 - The Long Dark
Babylon 5 - 2x06 - Spider in the Web
Babylon 5 - 2x07 - Soul Mates
Babylon 5 - 2x08 - A Race Through Dark Places
Babylon 5 - 2x09 - The Coming of Shadows
Babylon 5 - 2x10 - Gropos
Babylon 5 - 2x11 - All Alone in the Night
Babylon 5 - 2x12 Acts of Sacrifice
Babylon 5 - 2x13 - Hunter Prey
Babylon 5 - 2x14 - There All the Honor Lies
Babylon 5 - 2x15 - And Now For A Word
Babylon 5 - 2x17 - Knives
Babylon 5 - 2x18 - Confessions and Lamentations
Babylon 5 - 2x19 - Divided Loyalties
Babylon 5 - 2x20 - The Long Twilight Struggle
Babylon 5 - 2x21 - Comes the Inquisitor
Babylon 5 - 2x22 - The Fall Of Night
Babylon 5 - 3x03 - A Day in the Strife
Babylon 5 - 3x05 - Voices of Authority
Babylon 5 - 3x06 - Dust to Dust
Babylon 5 - 3x07 - Exogenesis
Babylon 5 - 3x08 - Messages from Earth
Babylon 5 - 3x09 - Point of No Return
Babylon 5 - 3x10 - Severed Dreams
Babylon 5 - 3x11 - Ceremonies of Light and Dark
Babylon 5 - 3x12 - Sic Transit Vir
Babylon 5 - 3x13 - A Late Delivery From Avalon
Babylon 5 - 3x14 - Ship of Tears
Babylon 5 - 3x16 - War Without End (Part I)
Babylon 5 - 3x17 - War Without End (Part II)
Babylon 5 - 3x18 - Walkabout
Babylon 5 - 3x19 - Grey 17 is Missing
Babylon 5 - 3x20 - And the Rock Cried Out No Hiding Place
Babylon 5 - 3x21 - Shadow Dancing
Babylon 5 1x01 Midnight on the Firing Line
Babylon 5 1x02 Soul Hunter
Babylon 5 1x03 Born to the Purple
Babylon 5 1x04 Infection
Babylon 5 1x05 The Parliament of Dreams
Babylon 5 1x06 Mind War
Babylon 5 1x07 The War Prayer
Babylon 5 1x08 And The Sky Full Of Stars
Babylon 5 1x09 Deathwalker
Babylon 5 1x10 Believers
Babylon 5 1x11 Survivors
Babylon 5 1x12 By Any Means Necessary
Babylon 5 1x13 Signs and Portents
Babylon 5 1x14 TKO
Babylon 5 1x15 Grail
Babylon 5 1x16 Eyes
Babylon 5 1x17 Legacies
Babylon 5 1x18 A voice in the wilderness - Part 1
Babylon 5 1x19 A voice in the wilderness - Part 2
Babylon 5 1x20 Babylon squared
Babylon 5 1x21 The Quality Of Mercy
Babylon 5 1x22 Crysalis
Babylon 5 3x01 Matters of Honor
Babylon 5 4x01 - The Hour of the Wolf
Babylon 5 4x02 - What Ever Happened to Mr Garibaldi
Babylon 5 4x03 - The Summoning
Babylon 5 4x04 - Falling Towards Apotheosis
Babylon 5 4x05 - The Long Night
Babylon 5 4x06 - Into the Fire
Babylon 5 4x07 - Epiphanies
Babylon 5 4x08 - The Illusion of Truth
Babylon 5 4x09 - Atonement
Babylon 5 4x10 - Racing Mars
Babylon 5 4x11 - Lines of Communication
Babylon 5 4x12 - Conflicts of Interest
Babylon 5 4x13 - Rumors Bargains and Lies
Babylon 5 4x14 - Moments of Transition
Babylon 5 4x15 - No Surrender No Retreat
Babylon 5 4x16 - The Exercise of Vital Powers
Babylon 5 4x17 - The Face of the Enemy
Babylon 5 4x18 - Intersections in Real Time
Babylon 5 4x19 - Between the Darkness and the Light
Babylon 5 4x20 - Endgame
Babylon 5 4x21 - Rising Star
Babylon 5 4x22 - The Deconstruction of Falling Stars
Babys Day Out
Bachelor Party
Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer The
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Back To The Future 1
Back To The Future 1 (dc)
Back To The Future 1 (hi)
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Back To The Future 2 (hi)
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Back To The Future 3 (hi)
Back to School (Alan Metter 1986)
Back to the Future II
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Backfield in Motion
BadBoys TrueStory 2003 CD1
BadBoys TrueStory 2003 CD2
Bad Company
Bad Guy 2001
Bad Santa
Bad Santa (unrated)
Bad Seed The 1956
Bad Timing (Nicolas Roeg 1980)
Bad and the Beautiful The
Badboys II
Baise Moi
Balanta 1992 (The Oak)
Ballad Of A Soldier 1959
Balseros 2002
Bamba La (1987)
Band of Brothers 01 - Currahee
Band of Brothers 02 - Day of Days
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Band of Brothers 05 - Crossroads
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Band of Brothers 07 - The Breaking Point
Band of Brothers 08 - The Last Patrol
Band of Brothers 09 - Why We Fight
Band of Brothers 10 - Points
Band of Outsiders
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Bao lian deng (1999)
Bar El Chino 2003
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Barberella - A Queen Of The Galaxy
Bare Bea 2004
Barefoot Gen 1983
Barrio 1947 25fps
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Batteries Included
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Battlefield Baseball
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Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - 33
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - Litmus
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - Water
Battlestar Galactica 01x03 - Bastille Day
Battlestar Galactica 01x04 - Act of Contrition
Battlestar Galactica 01x05 - You Cant Go Home Again
Battlestar Galactica 01x07 - Six Degrees of Seperation
Battlestar Galactica 01x08 - Flesh and Bone
Battlestar Galactica 01x09 - Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down
Battlestar Galactica 01x10 - The Hand of God
Battlestar Galactica 01x11 - Colonial Day
Battlestar Galactica 01x12 - Kobols Last Gleaming Part 1
Battlestar Galactica 01x13 - Kobols Last Gleaming Part 2
Baxter 1989
Beach The
Bean - The Ultimate Disaster Movie
Beast Cops
Beast From 20,000 Fathoms The 1953
Beast Within The
Beast of War The
Beating Of The Butterflys Wings The 2000
Beatles Anthology The Episode1
Beatles Anthology The Episode2
Beatles Anthology The Episode3
Beatles Anthology The Episode4
Beatles Anthology The Episode5
Beatles Anthology The Episode6
Beatles Anthology The Episode7
Beatles Anthology The Episode8
Beatles Anthology The Special Features
Beatles The - A Hard Dayss Night
Beatles The First US Visit The
Beau Pere - Stepfather - Bertrand Blier 1981
Beautiful Creatures
Beautiful Girls
Beautiful Thing
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Beautifull Mind A CD1
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Beavis and Butt-head Do America (1996)
Bedford Incident The
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Bedroom Key The CD2
Before Night Falls 2000 CD1
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Before Sunrise
Before Sunset 2004
Beguiled The
Behind Enemy Lines 2001
Behind The Sun (Walter Salles 2001)
Being John Malkovich
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Belle Epoque CD1
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Belle and La Bete La (1946)
Bellinin And The Spynx CD1
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Bells Of St Marys The (1945)
Belly Of The Beast
Belly of an Architect The
Ben-Hur CD1
Ben-Hur CD2
Bend It Like Beckham
Bend of the River 1952
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Benny and Joon
Best years of our lives 1946
Bet on My Disco
Better Off Dead 1985
Better Than Chocolate
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD1
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD2
Better Tomorrow 3 A
Better Way To Die A
Between Heaven and Hell
Beverly Hillbillies The 1993
Beverly Hills Ninja
Beyond Borders CD1
Beyond Borders CD2
Beyond The
Beyond The Clouds
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD1
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD2
Biches Les (Claude Chabrol 1968)
Bicho de sete cabezas
Bichunmoo CD1
Bichunmoo CD2
Big Blue The CD1
Big Blue The CD2
Big Bounce The
Big Chill The
Big Daddy
Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958)
Big Fat Liar
Big Fish 2003
Big Hit The
Big Lebowski The
Big Mommas House
Big Nihgt
Big Shot - A Confessions of a Campus Bookie 2002
Big Sleep The
Big clock The 1948
Big girls dont cry
Biker boyz
Billy Elliot
Billy Madison 1995
Biloxi blues
Bingwoo 2004 CD1
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Bio Dome
Bio Hunter
Bio Zombie
Bionicle 2 A Legends of Metru-Nui
Bionicle Mask Of Light 2003
Birch Tree Meadow The
Bird People in China The 1998 CD1
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Bird on a wire
Bishops Wife The 1947 CD1
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Bite the bullet
Bitter Sugar (Azucar amarga)
Black Angel
Black Sabbath
BlackAdder 1x1 - The Foretelling
BlackAdder 1x2 - Born to be King
BlackAdder 1x3 - The Archbishop
BlackAdder 1x4 - The Queen of Spains Beard
BlackAdder 1x5 - Witchsmeller Pursuivant
BlackAdder 1x6 - The Black Seal
BlackAdder 2x1 - Bells
BlackAdder 2x2 - Head
BlackAdder 2x3 - Potato
BlackAdder 2x4 - Money
BlackAdder 2x5 - Beer
BlackAdder 2x6 - Chains
BlackAdder 4x1 - Captain Cook
BlackAdder 4x2 - Corporal Punishment
BlackAdder 4x3 - Major Star
BlackAdder 4x4 - Private Plane
BlackAdder 4x5 - General Hospital
BlackAdder 4x6 - Goodbyeee
BlackAdder Christmas Carol 1988
BlackAdder The Cavalier Years
BlackAdder the Third 3x1
BlackAdder the Third 3x2
BlackAdder the Third 3x3
BlackAdder the Third 3x4
BlackAdder the Third 3x5
BlackAdder the Third 3x6
Black Adder V - Back and Forth
Black Christmas
Black Hawk Down
Black Mask
Black Mask 2
Black Orpheus
Black Rain CD1
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Black Sheep
Black Widow 1987
Black and White (1998)
Blackout The 1997 CD1
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Blade 3 - Trinity
Blade Of Fury
Blade Runner (1982 Original Cut) CD1
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Blade Runner Directors Cut
Blair Witch Project The
Blame It On Rio
Blast From The Past 1999
Blast from the Past
Blazing Saddles
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Bless The Child
Blind Beast
Blind Chance (1987) CD1
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Blind Spot Hitlers Secretary (2002)
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Blob The 1988
Blood Crime
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Blood Work
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Blow 2001 CD1
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Blown Away 1994 CD1
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Blue (Derek Jarman)
Blue Car
Blue Collar Comedy Tour The Movie
Blue Max The CD1
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Blue Moon
Blue Planet The 1
Blue Planet The 2 - The Deep
Blue Planet The 3 - Open Ocean
Blue Planet The 4 - Frozen Seas
Blue Spring 2001
Blue Velvet
Blue juice 1995
Blue thunder
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD1
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD2
Blues Harp
Boat Trip - Feedback Overflow
Bob Le Flambeur 1955
Bob Marley Story - Rebel Music
Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
Body Double
Body Heat
Body The
Boiler Room
Bola El
Bone Collector The
Bonnie and Clyde
Book of Fate The
Book of Pooh The
Boondock Saints The
Boot Das 1981 CD1
Boot Das 1981 CD2
Born Romantic
Boucher Le
Bourne supremacy The-1CD
Boxcar Bertha
Boy Who Saw The Wind The
Boys and Girls
Boyz N the Hood
Branca de Neve
Bread and Roses
Breakfast Club The
Breakfast at Tiffanys
Breakin all the rules
Breaking Away
Bride with White Hair The
Bridge Man The CD1
Bridge Man The CD2
Bright Future
Broadway Danny Rose
Brother (Takeshi Kitano)
Brother Sun Sister Moon 1972
Brother from Another Planet The 1984
Brotherhood Of The Wolf
Brothers The
Buena Estrella La (Lucky Star)
Buffalo Soldiers
Bug 1975
Bugs Bunny - Baseball Bugs (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Big Top Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny Gets the Boid (1942)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny and the Three Bears (1944)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs and Thugs (1954)
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Bugs Bunny - My Bunny Lies Over the Sea (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Rabbits Kin (1952)
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Bugs Bunny - Wabbit Twouble (1941)
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Bullets Over Broadway
Bully (Unrated Theatrical Edition)
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Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid A Special Edition
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