Dark Woods (2003)
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Are you there?
All we wanted was a decent job.
And we ended up here. In the woods.
We should have stayed away from that pond.
Hi. Can I smoke here?
Why did you apply for this job, Lasse?
I know you're good.
And that you pay well.
I hear you're one of the best photographers around.
Who told you that?
-Are you Lasse's friend? -Yes.
-What do you do on local radio? -Haven't you heard my reports?
Jesus Christ! I've been in princess Märtha Louise's bed.
I've been in Wenche Foss' shower.
Do you have any TV experience?
I've watched a lot of TV.
Three years as a reporter for a ... news desk.
''I'll do what you want me to, cause I ...''
Stop it! Why do we have to go through this?
Sit down. Give me that!
You can't do this without me.
Am I right? Answer me.
My philosophy is: We have to be able to take -
- everything our participants have to take.
And preferably even more.
We have four days to become a top-notch TV crew.
We have to dare leave our pacifiers behind.
The program is as follows:
Tomorrow and the day after will be physically demanding.
Saturday will be mentally demanding.
Not my cell phone!
And Sunday I have a surprise for you.
When we return to civilization as one hell of a crew!
Are you ready?
-Yes. -I can't hear you.
Gunnar, can I make one last phone call?
We'll be back on Sunday.
I usually ...
I call my mom every day, and I wanted to let her know ...
Consider it part of the survival experience.
Hang on, Lasse!
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Are we almost there?
-About halfway. -Did you hear that, Lasse? Halfway.
Is this your cabin?
It started as an ammo shed dad found after the war.
But it's seen some improve- ments since then.
Must have forgotten to lock after last time.
Fine, I'll take the bottom bunk.
That hasn't worked for 30 years.
This is a classic Stellaphone.
You carried the wine, Lasse.
We live in an obscure age.
People choose entertainment when they really long for clarity.
Something to tell them how to cope with life.
We supply that clarity.
Rougher, more audacious, deeper TV than ever before.
We could have sat at some bar right now.
I was just thinking the same thing!
But instead we are here.
We are going to freeze, starve, and become clear to each other.
Cheers. And welcome.
Aren't you drinking?
People who don't drink have some serious flaw.
Push those two at the same time.
''I can crack big nuts with my butt muscles.''
''Where did that avocado come from?''
Where did that avocado come from?
What is it, Gunnar?
I saw ... forest.
I told you: Never go up to that pond.
What is it, Gunnar?
I saw ... forest.
I told you: Never go up to that pond.
Never go up to that pond.
Come back here, dammit!
-Don't we get any food up here? -You'll find it in the forest.
What kind of a deal is this?
You go up to the river behind the cabin.
I'll bring the girls, and we'll see who comes home with dinner first.
Rivers make noise.
I don't hear a river.
Are you all right?
I think so.
Look at this!
Look at that.
Fish are fish, meat is food.
You can't exactly call that Swedish chick ugly.
-Isn't she a little old? -She isn't old!
There's something about Swedes ...
The expiration date was over a month ago.
On your birthday!
-I hope it's alive. -Why did you shoot?
I don't know. A reflex.
Did you find it?
If you're going to shoot, shoot to kill.
There's blood on your hand.
You wanna play with me?
Come on, Lasse!
-Check this out. -You look lovely.
This doesn't work.
I'll fix it later.
Where did you get that?
We got it from some helpful German tourists.
We found it in a tent by the pond.
Put it back.
-What's the matter? -You stole someone else's food.
That tent has been deserted for over a month.
We are supposed to behave like adults. You've already failed.
A German plane crashed here during the war.
Grandpa said this pond never froze in the winter.
And we were never allowed to swim here.
Let me see.
Holy shit ...
We have to get back to the car before dark.
Another day or two makes no difference to her.
We have to report this.
We'll wait until we head down on Sunday.
-Sunday? -Stop kidding.
Four days makes no difference to her.
-What about her family? -She'll be just as dead on Sunday.
-Have you completely lost focus? -Let me handle this. Please.
Sunday is a good day. Church is open ...
If you find a body, you contact the police. Period.
What's going on in your head? We can't leave her another four days.
-Calm down, Lasse. -Shut up!
We'll report it when we get home.
Home is the other direction, Lasse.
Get a grip, Lasse.
This stays between us.
There's no point in frightening the girls.
I've never seen a dead body before.
Hello? Didn't Lasse go with you?
Yes. But he needed some more fresh air.
Will you come with me to the outhouse, Elin?
-Please? -Are you scared?
-Come inside with me. -Want me to wipe you too?
-I'll wait till we get home. -Sit down and close your eyes.
-What does this have to do with TV? -Don't ask me.
That wasn't funny, Lasse.
-What did you throw at me? -What's this?
What the hell is this? Blood?
Where did you find that?
I didn't put it there.
-Why did you leave? -Do you have any cigarettes, Sara?
Where have you been?
What is it, Lasse?
Do you like it here, Elin?
Has something happened?
Gunnar was right. We can't do anything. She's dead.
And your mom will be fine alone for four days.
What's your problem?
Gunnar doesn't know what he's doing.
There's something else out there.
What is this?
I put the dead bird in her sleeping bag.
What is wrong with you?
Probably the most exciting thing she's had in there for years.
It was a joke, Lasse.
You take everything so seriously!
Are you asleep?
Hello? What's going on?
This tree has irritated me for years. It steals all the light.
-Shouldn't you be asleep? -I can never sleep here.
Neither can we, with you chopping away. Please stop.
To solve all your problems, you'd have to chop down the entire forest.
Go to bed.
I had just gotten the panties off that girl in the video store.
Why can't we even have cigarettes up here?
You don't smoke. You don't have the same problem.
What's that sound?
Look out the window and see who you're working for.
-How did you start working together? -The long or the short version?
Long enough so I can fall asleep.
When I was 15 I had had enough of my dad's new wife.
I ran away to Stockholm. Got a job in a bar.
-He came by one night. -You left home at 15?
He had just started a TV company with his Swedish wife.
Jokingly, I asked if he had a job for me.
And he did. If I had ''what it took''.
Tell me more.
Did you ... do anything special to get the job?
Go to sleep.
-You cheat! -Come on.
Are you ready for this? It's a powerful sight.
Fine. I'm chicken.
Go get some firewood.
Hey. Good morning. Time to get up.
I have something for you in here.
It's seven o'clock. Time to get up.
What's the rush?
We have a busy schedule today.
You scared the shit out of me!
-You hurt me. -How?
Look at this.
I didn't touch you.
In the tent.
The tent? I went to find cell phone coverage.
What were you doing over by the tent?
I'm never going back to that pond.
Didn't I tell you to stay away from the pond?
I could have sworn I did.
Gunnar, Per has something he'd like to share with us.
Thanks for nothing, Judas.
I found coverage. We could have called someone.
If we don't respect my rules, we can't work together.
Everyone but Per joins me on today's mission.
I haven't even used the outhouse.
Finally you can help someone other than yourself.
We'll be back in a couple of hours. You should be done by then.
I'll do anything but this.
-How about the Star? -The Star?
An old Indian game we played when we were kids.
Per liked to tie people down and wait for the ants to come get them.
Why, Gunnar? You can't punish me for checking my cell phone.
Sure I can.
Gunnar, forget about your ghosts for once.
I agree with Gunnar. The same rules should apply to everybody.
I want to marry you. I want you to have my baby.
Gunnar could be your father!
-Not likely. -Let's go.
Lasse, my best friend ...
You get to relax.
We have to go out with the guide from hell -
- and do God knows what. -And I get to stay here.
Is this the thanks I get for fixing that tape recorder?
Don't go down to the pond. There's something in the water.
I want all those logs up here.
He's kidding, right?
Turn it over.
-Can't you even carry a log? -Shut up!
This'll get the nicotine out of your body.
What are we doing here? I want to go back to Per.
Everything has a purpose.
That you can be macho in front of the girls?
Don't forget that I'm paying you for this.
Now we're curious, Gunnar.
-What are you making? -Ever hear of Sisyphus?
Sisyphus tried to cheat death.
He was doomed forever in Hades to roll a boulder up a steep hill.
Every time he reached the top, the boulder would roll back down.
Sisyphus was a happy man.
You've worked with him for 15 years, and let him carry on like this?
Yes. Leave me alone.
You need to rest this foot for a couple of days.
You don't need to always act so tough.
Where's the Gunnar I enjoy working with?
The one who cares about people.
I've never tolerated disloyalty. You know all about that.
But punishments? And this grind? What are you up to?
How old is your daughter?
Do you get to meet her often enough?
Isn't that more important than turning these idiots into a team?
There's plenty here.
Take it out.
It's cool. Look at all those ants at work.
-They keep the forest clean. -You're sick, all of you.
Whoever put this here, is sick.
He got loose.
Look at this.
Let him clean this up himself.
Come on. Let's get this crap out of here.
Where could he be, Gunnar?
Where is he?
He probably went home.
And waved this dream job goodbye?
-He wasn't the right type. -Shouldn't we go look for him?
Who goes home and leaves their keys behind?
I don't like this.
Maybe there's something out there.
There is something out there.
We found something in the pond by that tent.
Do you want to tell them what we found, Gunnar?
We found ...
... a dead woman in a fishing net.
And we just left her there.
Didn't we, Gunnar?
It happened over a month ago.
-Why didn't you tell us? -Gunnar's orders.
We can't do anything until Sunday.
This trip is over. There may be two people in that pond!
You give up at the first sign of adversity? This is why we ...
Bullshit! Why didn't you tell us?
The decision to continue was not an easy one to make.
This is my responsibility. You are free to leave if you want.
But don't expect to work for me again.
I'm sitting here at the Green Bar, sending smoke signals to Per.
These cigarettes are dry. They're a month old, after all.
But thank you for a nice trip.
Want a drink while we wait for Per's return?
Take it easy!
Stop these ridiculous punishments.
You're starting to lose control, Gunnar.
I gave you both a fair chance.
If anything has happened to Per, I'm going to sue the shit out of you!
Get in line.
Wasn't Lasse with you?
He'll be up there for another hour.
He went back to the tent.
Give me a break, Gunnar!
-How's your foot? -You're starting to lose it.
Don't go out there!
I've had enough of your shit!
Let's end that pine cone war, OK?
I just slapped Gunnar.
Good job, Sara. I'm starting to believe in you.
Did you see Per?
He's probably running around out there in his dress.
How long has he been into that?
Per and I grew up together.
He does so many crazy things.
But he took this job ...
Because he's in love with you.
How about you?
I'm an old man.
Ready to settle down.
Shouldn't you leave home first?
I plan to have many little Lasses.
One there, one over there ...
And one that climbs up there.
Per, are you planning on burning down the whole forest?
We should get our sleeping bags and lie down here.
Are you asleep?
Where did you find him?
By the pond.
Do you see what you have done?!
Get out of here!
Don't go! We don't know what's out there!
Let him go.
We'll just fish him out of the pond tomorrow.
-I'll go down to the car and call. -I'll go with you.
No, stay with Elin.
-You both go. -Are you sure?
Where have you been?
Up by the tent. No one was there.
Where are the others?
Where do you think? They went to call.
The log has been washed out.
They can't be out there now.
We shouldn't be here at all! What is it with you?
You never stop and you never listen!
Sooner or later it will all go to hell!
If we survive this night, we are never working together again.
Come on, dammit!
Are you there? Per?
We should have stayed away from that pond.
-It was their honeymoon. -He was insane.
They wanted to find the pond -
- where his grandfather crashed during the war.
The police think his wife drowned in the cold water.
Right in front of him.
And he went insane.
When we entered the tent and found her body, he snapped.
You saw it, didn't you, Per?
Something isn't right.
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