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{y:i}As soon as I see you...
{y:i}...even before I see you,|{y:i}I start to smile...
{y:i}...without knowing I'm doing it.
{y:i}And I start to smile as well.|{y:i}Before I see you.
{y:i}We've got the same smile.
{y:i}But we're not smiling|{y:i}out of happiness. Are we?
{y:i}It's not a smile of happiness.
{y:i}It's a smile of politeness...or fear...
{y:i}...or even of grief.
{y:i}I don't know.
{y:i}That's how it feels.
{y:i}As if we don't want to let|{y:i}each other know how sad we are.
{y:i}So we smile because of our grief.
{y:i}Because we can't do anything|{y:i}about what's happened...
{y:i}...about how things have turned out.
Based on a drama by Lars Norén
Screenplay Jonas Frykberg
-Hi! Pleased to meet you. Erik Falk.|-Emma Lukacs.
This is very nice.|What can we do for you?
I sent you a manuscript|a few months back.
Did you have time to read it?|It was a novel. It is a novel.
Ah...a novel...that's right.
-What's the title now?|-Now? Now it's 'Lost and Found'.
Maybe just 'Lost' would be better.|Did you read it?
You didn't read it. It doesn't matter.
Come in.
I haven't read it. I'm being honest.|I'm sure someone has.
-Do sit down.|-You must get masses of junk... don't have time to read.|-We certainly get our share.
But every ten years|a new talent pops up.
-How old did you say you were?|-How old? 26.
I guess you have to be under twenty,|to get published these days.
Not at this publisher's. I'm 44.
-Beautiful room.| is. Used to be my father's.
Typically Swedish.|I've been abroad ten years.
Don't know if I can write in Swedish|anymore. I was at Yale.
Ah, I see...
I studied the history of literature|and sociology...and the Elizabethans.
Oh, them.| you live in the US?
-No. In London.|-Why? Why live there?
I met an American who lives there,|and married him.'re married.|-Yes. Well, we're splitting up.
I'm getting divorced.|I might be moving back here again.
What for...|why are you getting divorced?
None of my business.
If you don't like my novel,|once you find it, I could work-
-as a reader or translator. I've read|a lot of new American literature.
-What does he do?|-Who?
-Your husband, what's his line?|-You're asking what work he does?
-Why are you asking?|-I...Well, I don't know really.
He's a jazz pianist.|Has his own band, sometimes.
He's played with|John McLaughlin and Robert Fripp.
I'm not familiar|with Robert Fripp, as...
I shall die before you.
Hello. Now then...
-I've been waiting three hours!|-Bronchial problems. Right?
I've got lung cancer. No, it's my|sinuses, or whatever they're called... won't go away.
I've got a stomach ache-cramp.
Okay, let's have a look. Sit there.
-Can you open wide?|-Yes, I can.
Thank you.
-A little coating. Smoke?|-Yup.
But I run five to seven kilometres,|five days a week.
Slight inflammation...
Here it's bloody painful, when I bend|to pick things up or tie my shoes.
Sometimes I get dizzy.|I almost pass out.
It's not serious, is it,|like Méniére's syndrome?
What do you think?
Sometimes my heart races.|Bloody unpleasant. I have to lie down.
It makes me so worried.|I had pneumonia in the spring, too.
-Open wide.|-Am I heading for a burn-out?
It could be the combination of a virus|and being overworked.
-You're 30.|-29...going on 30. I feel like 50.
My friends are all getting divorces,|they work too much.
So am I...What the hell. There are|people waiting who need help.
-What work d'you do?|-Working class.
No. Author. I write.
-Can you lie down?|-I've just written a play.
The National are doing it this autumn.
I've just finished a thing about|all the lonely people dying in the city.
I went out with the guys|who have to pick up the pieces-
-when someone's thrown themselves|in front of a tube.
Their bodies can get twisted like|a rope between train and platform.
At the crematorium they put|the frontpart of a suit on them-
-or the frontbit of a dress if it's|a woman, or a jumper if it's a child.
I could use that, perhaps.|A giftbook...for Christmas.
Can you prescribe me something|to make me sleep? Something strong.
I'm not sure what it's called,|but...Rohypnol.
It's against my principles|to take stuff like that. some point I've got to sleep.
I'm prescribing you penicillin.|Three times daily for ten days.
And, as for sleeping pills,|there's a new drug-
-that doesn't have|such strong side effects. Stilnoct.
I'll give you 25 tablets|at 10 milligrams.
-They won't solve any problems.|-I only have insoluble problems.
Listen...couldn't you let me have|a hundred...while you're at it?
One year later
What do you want me|to ask you to do?
-Ask for what? I've stopped asking.|-Ask me to get you a glass of water.
Ask me to answer the phone.
Ask me to fuck your arse|while you're kneeling on the sofa.
I don't want to ask for that.|There are things I don't want to do.
-Ask for something you don't want.|-What's the good of that?
Shall I wear this?|Perhaps it's nicer than the blue one.
-You've never let me fuck your arse.|-I don't like you saying that...
That dress needs a bruise|to go with it.
-You want to sit there?|-Yes, please.
-What do you think?|-What I think?
Do I have to think something?
I don't know. I think it's...
...fairly...more aesthetically violent|than it need to be. Oh, I don't know.
No, I don't think so at all.
-My period's started.|-No. No!
-Hasn't it? So what is it?|-Bad luck. Want to go home?
No, why?
It's looking pretty good.
Is it? Isn't it awful? Isn't everyone|quiet? Aren't they very quiet?
-They're listening.|-Is that what they're doing?
I find it...most interesting.|And exciting.
Is it? Yes, maybe it is.|I don't know. I couldn't give a shit.
My wife's just said|it's beautifully different.
This is Ann, my wife.|- Stefan, who wrote this.
-What was that music at the end?|-The end? There's another act to go.
I must be off.
-It's going to do very well.|-What? What's going to do very well?
We're publishing his play, but why?|What bloody kind of play is it?
-Hi there.|-Hi. Good evening. How are things?
There was such a long line|at the ladies' room...
I've gotten a job. At Hedengren's|bookstore. Just for a while.
-In...Stureplan...|-Come and buy a book some time.
-Yes...I'd like that.|-Bye.
-Who was that? Someone you know?|-No...
She sent us a manuscript|some years ago, I think.
She's so beautiful.|Did you accept it?
I don't think we did.
No, we didn't, it wasn't ready.
She's beautiful.
She's ill.
Is she?
Great. I'm so pleased|you could make it.
-You did ask me, didn't you?|-Well, yes...I did!
-Why did you want to see me?|-Why I wanted to see you?
-Why do you think I wanted to?|-Well...I don't know.
Your lunch break?
-How long's your lunch?|-Oh...until two. An hour.
-What's the time?|-Twenty past one...
Would you like to talk to someone?
Please put that lighter down.
-I've been thinking about you.|-Why?
Yes, why have you|been thinking about me?
Why does one think about someone?
Well...what have you been thinking?
-Where do you live?|-Where I live?
Well, I live...
I've borrowed a friend's apartment.
A little studio on Västmanna Street.|Next door to Matteus Church.
Sometimes you hear them singing|in there, when there's a service.
-Where do you live?|-Jungfru Street. Been there 13 years.
Have you been thinking|about me at all?
-Yes.|-Have you?
Of course I have.
No?|He didn't say where he was going?
{y:i}No, it doesn't say here.|{y:i}Do you want him to call you?
No, there's no need. Thanks. Bye.
-Come and have something to eat.|-I don't want to.
-Why are you smiling?|-Smiling? I don't know.
-Why are you asking?|-Are you tired?
No. What do you mean?
I don't mean anything.
-What have you been doing today?|-What I've been
I've had a couple of meetings...|completely unnecessary-
-about moving publishing up a floor.
And then...they're moving accounts|down a floor.
And that's the exact opposite|of what they did three years ago.
And I had a meeting with|one of the readers, who said to me:
"I don't want to intrude,|but you're my boss."
"I've been here nine years|and you've never talked to me"-
-"so now I've booked you in for|a meeting. What do you think of me?"
"What I think of you? Well..."
"You're good...sound judgement,|you express yourself very well."
"You're to the point."
"Screw my sound judgement," he said.
"What do you think of me|as a person?"
"As a person?|Well...Well, I don't know."
"I know you don't," he said.|Then he left.
That's what I've done.|What have you done?
-Nothing else?|-Not that I recall. And you?
Well, at...
At about half one|a man came into emergency.
He was carrying a can of petrol|with at least five litres in it...
...quite a lot.
Then...he unscrewed the cap|and poured petrol over himself-
-and got out a cigarette lighter.
And...then what?
I went up to him|and tried to talk to him-
-tried to get him|to hand the lighter over.
He didn't say a word the whole time.
I don't even know|if he understood what I was saying.
Then...the fire brigade came-
-and started evacuating the place|and told me to leave.
But I couldn't, I couldn't move.
I don't know how long I stood there.
-And then?|-Then?
Then he...lit the lighter|and started burning.
What? God Almighty, did he die?
What do you think?
Yes. He died.
Do you want to talk about it?
I am talking about it.|That's what I'm doing.
You really don't remember|what you've been doing?
But I've told you.
How are things?
Not too bad.|Better than before, anyway.
I guess that's the idea-you feel|better after, than you did before...
I don't know.
I hope so.|Otherwise what's the point?
Yeah...what?|Otherwise it's meaningless.
We're here.
Aren't we?
Who's that, out there?
I don't know.
-Don't you know who it is?|-How should I know?
-When did she arrive?|-She was already here.
-Is it time?|-But did she say anything?
That she thought it would feel|a little better afterwards...
-Better? What would feel better?|-Just being here, I suppose.
Is there any difference, though?
{y:i}If he recognizes me,|{y:i}I have been alive.
{y:i}If I walk past him and he recognizes|{y:i}me, I existed...didn't I?
{y:i}You could say that.
I'd never shake Kissinger's hand,|if the opportunity arose.
Not even if he held out his hand|and said 'Kissinger'. Never.
What I remember is...
...that I liked going into a bookshop...
...just as it opened.|To be one of the first customers.
To feel the untouched spines|of the books.
And hear the first footsteps,|before there are too many...
One day I saw a book. I thought|perhaps I'd buy it, but I didn't.
Then I thought, how many things you|think about without ever doing them.
Then I thought|how it makes no odds.
I had word from Toscana Holidays.
A house in Marina de Pisa...|2 July, three weeks.
-Sitting room, two bed, kitchen.|-Great.
And there's a patio at the back with|figtrees. We can eat breakfast there.
Have intercourse...woman and man.
Let's go to Italy via Yugoslavia.|Through Macedonia.
Macedonia? What the hell for,|if we're going to Italy?
-It's beautiful.|-You're crazy.
It can't be that bloody beautiful. And|there's going to be war in Yugoslavia.
It'll be a horrendous bloody war.
-Why the hell go through Macedonia?|-No...As you said.
-Want some more?|-Of what? I've not had anything yet.
Everyone! Two minutes to go.|Bring your glasses and come through.
We could put Daniel on a plane|and then pick him up in Pisa?
-Don't you want time for just us?|-But the last week.
We could go to Florence,|up to Fiesole, to that monastery... nine years ago. Remember?|-Of course.
The food was atrocious.|I remember that.
We're not going there to eat,|you idiot. Just for the memories.
That's the most beautiful room I've|ever stayed in. So clean and calm.
From the balcony, all Florence lay|stretched out below, glittering... a memory.
{y:i}Ring out...
-Happy New Year!|-Happy New Year!
Oh, it's you.|What are you doing here?
-Oh... Happy New Year.|-What's happy about it?
-D'you think there's going to be war?|-Where? In Yugoslavia? Yes.
In Kuwait!|Don't you keep up with
I do...|I'm up half the night watching CNN.
The Americans want war...|it's their favourite spectator sport.
I hope it comes to that.
It can't all end in some bloody anti-|climax. Not now, after this autumn!
-Already done?|-Yup.
What else do you do? Golf, tennis?
-Cricket.|-Cricket... Oh.
Not often you see a cricketmatch|in Sweden.
A bit unusual. Where do you play?
Where? I'm fooling.|I don't play was a joke.
-I thought as much.|-I thought you thought as much.
Maybe you and I could play tennis|some day, if you like.
-You and me?|-If you play tennis, I mean.
I'm quite a decent tennis player.|Dad wanted me to turn pro.
He wanted me|to be better than Björn Borg.
He drove me to the courts every|bloody day, starting when I was six.
Now he's in hospital,|some kind of motor-neurone disease.
He'll be dying soon.
He communicates pushing a small|rod against a computer screen.
C'est la vie.
He wants me to come and visit him,|but I refuse.
The first time he raped me I was five.
Let me know|if you want tennis lessons.
They had no rooms in Fiesole,|not until August.
-Then we'll be gone.|-Yes.
This is the house that|Gabriele D'Annunzio-
-used to come to a great deal|as his great love lived here-
-the love of his life.
Do mind the stairs.|Please come this way.
Please...come in.
That is a portrait|D'Annunzio gave my grandfather.
The balcony...|You can see the sea.
This way, I'll show you your room.
Here's where you'll be sleeping.|A cupboard for all your things.
Over here we have the kitchen...
Be a nice chap|and rub some on my back.
How does it feel?
How does what feel?
-Do you want a whisky?|-Whisky? At ten in the morning?
We're on holiday!
-Do you think about her?|-What did you say?
-I said, do you think about her?|-Think about who?
-Her. The girl you're thinking about.|-For God's sake who? Emma?
Oh, so that's her name?|I didn't know her name.
I think that's her name,|if that's who you mean?
-Don't know. I'm asking you.|-Asking me what?
-If you think about her?|-Why would I? I've met her twce.
-Have you slept with her?|-I've met her twce.
As I recall, she's been married|to an American...
...for seven or eight years.|He's a musician.
I remember all this-
-as her novel's about her marriage|to an American musician in Berlin.
And that's why I recall it.
I remember that...|I remember her novel better than her.
Titian. "Venus di Urbino".
Why does it have|such an impact on me?
I don't know. I'm not you.
She's naked. With small breasts.
Have you slept with her?
And why would I have done that?
Because you wanted to.|Because you liked it.
Because men and women do that.
Well, we don't. But other men|and women have sex with each other.
You're the only woman|I've slept with for the last 9 years.
Even if we only do it|once a month nowadays...
When's your ovulation?
You needn't worry,|I haven't got that many eggs left.
She's not the woman|you think she is: she's ill.
Okay by me...
Then I suppose|that's what attracts you.
-Good Lord, are you here?|-Hello.
What are you doing here?|- Hello.
This is Ann, my wife.|- Stefan...
You met at the National I think...
At the first night of my first play.|Awful piece of work.
Exactly... I mean, that's|where we met. At the National.
-Oh... Hello.|-So many people everywhere.
-Wha...This is...|-Emma.
-So you're in Florence?|-Have you been here long?
-Why does everyone go to Florence?|-Have you been inside?
Yes, the Renaissance galleries|with Lippi are a must.
They're the ones I like best.
There's a limit|to what you can take in.
-Where are you staying?|-In Marina de Pisa.
-A few kilometres outside Pisa.|-20 km.
-And you?|-We're staying in a monastery.
Up there.
-Fiesole, it's called.|-Are you?
It's...nice to get away from all|the traffic, all the people down here.
You should have come in March.|Then it's just Italian schoolchildren.
I was in the States in May.|Met some agents and lawyers.
We'll see where it all leads.
I saw Hackman|in 'Death and the Maiden'.
It wasn't a...flashy star job at all,|as you might have expected.
Glenn Close was good as well.
-A bit old, perhaps.|-For what?
-Have you been to the Donatello?|-Yes we have.
-Amazing baths they had.|-Who did?
The Romans. Didn't you seen those|enormous baths in the corridors?
No, no...those aren't baths.|They're sarcophagii, you know.
Really? I see. Are you sure?
-How are things? Sorry I'm late.|-No. You're early.
Sorry I'm early.|I got lost. Not Upplands Street?
No! Västmanna Street.|Come in. I'll just get dressed.
{y:i}I was asleep|{y:i}in that house we were renting.
{y:i}And I woke up...suddenly, in|{y:i}the middle of the night, about three.
{y:i}I sat up in the bed and said,|{y:i}straight into the darkness:
{y:i}"Now my life's falling to pieces."
-Why did you say that?|-I just said it. Loud and clear.
Had something happened?
I think so. Next I said, so loud I heard|it: "I want to have a child with her."
-"I love her."|-Who?
Can't we just carry on being friends?
-Where's Stefan?|-He's at home, I think.
-He felt run down, sore throat.|-That's rough. Is he very ill?
He's seeing the doctor tomorrow,|to get some penicillin.
Maybe it's tonsillitis.
Can't you tell me you love me?
I guess so.
It hurts.
Loving me?
Saying it.
I never said it before.
Not to anyone.
How are you feeling?
-Where am I?|-Sabbatsberg Hospital.
You've been in intensive care.
What was I doing there?
Why was I in...|What did you call it?
Intensive care.
-What sort of tablets did you take?|-What sort?
-White ones.|-How many?
-Didn't count. Just swallowed them.|-While using a needle?
-We take this sort of thing seriously.|-"We?" How many of you are there?
-Your lungs could have collapsed.|-I know who you are.
-You know who I am, don't you?|-Yes.
Who am I?
-We've met before.|-I know we've met before.
But who am I?
-May I touch you?|-No.
-Can't I touch you?|-No.
Why can't I touch you?
I'm good at it. You'd like it.|They tell me I'm good at it.
They? How many of them are there?
-Oh, look, it's Milano.|-It's Paris.
No. They're talking Italian.|It's Milano.
Look at that!
The café we were at.|We sat there. Look!
But darling, that could be anywhere.
I wonder what went wrong.
Why does a beautiful, young woman|choose that for a living?
-Why not workin a shop?|-Workin a shop where?
A tax-free boutique where you buy|perfume...and handbags.
Now he's caressing her.
She's...enjoying it. Look.
It's me.
Is it you?
I know just how she feels.
Now she's caressing him.
I could do that to you.
Like that...just like that|I could do it...
-...just as well.|-Would you?
Do it, then.
Now she's bending... Look, get down.
What is it?
I thought I heard Daniel.
He's gone back to sleep.
I used to hold him until he fell asleep.
I almost fell asleep myself.|He called me 'Mum.'
{y:i}Now it's really over.
{y:i}Why are you here?
{y:i}Here? The same reason|{y:i}as everyone else.
{y:i}-What happened?|{y:i}-A car accident.
{y:i}-Car accident?|{y:i}-Yes. A plain accident.
{y:i}-Our car went off the road.|{y:i}-And you died?
It happened so fast, we hardly|noticed. You couldn't feel a thing.
-Well, I couldn't.|-I was in dreadful pain.
Were you? That's right.|That roadsign ran you through.
I couldn't stop screaming. In the end|I couldn't hear myself screaming.
I tried to turn see|how you were. But it was dark.
-And you. What happened to you?|-I don't want to talk about it.
Forgotten something?
-Hello?|{y:i}-Hi there! Remember me?
-What do you want?|{y:i}-How did you reckon it'd happen?
{y:i}-That you'd get to decide everything?|-What do you want?
{y:i}What do you think I want?|{y:i}Let me in and you'll see.
{y:i}-Let me in, you can see my breasts.|-It sounds... But...
We could meet later...for lunch, or...?
{y:i}You still love her. Don't you?
{y:i}Let me in! Don't be scared.|{y:i}She's not going to die.
-You've no shoes!|-Have you told Ann about me?
-Keep calm.|-I am calm.
-When are you going to talk to her?|-Take it easy!
-Don't tell me what to do.|-I'm not.
What are you going to do?|Talk to her? What'll you tell her?
I'll talk to her.
-When?|-On her evening off.
Tell her you're leaving her,|for three months...then coming back?
Or will you tell her|you're leaving her for ever?
Why do you want to know my plans,|where I'm going to live-
-what films I want to see...?
I know nothing about your plans.|And I'm discreet enough not to ask.
"Have you had a lung X-ray?"|"Is your doctor okay?"
How have you planned this? Does|she know what's going to hit her?
Have you prepared her? I'm starting|to feel bored, waiting for you...
...oldtimer.|Do you have any Häagen Dasz?
-Häagen Dasz ice cream?|-Yes. Do you?
-Do you share ice cream, too?|-Haven't bought any for years.
-The chocolate's best. Tub.|-I think I'll get dressed now.
Wait! I came here to show you this.|It should make you happy.
'The Flyer and the Fledgling,'|about you. I'll read it to you.
-Not now! Can't we just...|-No! We're doing this now.
Here's the first page.|There's me. There's you, on a leaf.
"How happy you look.|You're never usually this happy."
"Can you look this happy?|And why are you so happy?"
"Because you're a little flying thing."
"You can fly...wherever you like."
"Let's play daddy and child," you say.
"You're the child, I'm the dad."|You're the dad.
Where's the child?
Let's see.|"First I have to give you a bath."
What happens next?
In moonlight there sat we
two perching in a tree
-Then we have to fly.|-No, no.
It's easy. Like this...
I can't find anything.
-Can't you?|-No. Nothing interesting.
Unless you want to see 'Grease'|or 'Gone with the Wind.'
No thanks.
There's nothing then.
-Shall we go for a walk instead?|-Right.
I saw a black dress at NK|which I'd like to try on.
-I've lost weight. Seven kilos.|-As much as that?
That girl...
What's her name?
Emma? The one we bumped into|in Italy. Wasn't her name Emma?
I'm not sure. I think it was.
She was admitted|to the psychiatric ward yesterday.
Really? Yesterday?
There's a concert we could go to.|Mozart's 'Requiem'. In two hours.
-Shall we go?|-Okay.
Then I'll have time|to look at that dress as well.
What actually happened?|If you don't mind me asking?
He was feeling a bit tired,|if I remember correctly.
"Read something," I said. "Haven't|you got a good book to read?"
So he went down|to Hedengren's Bookshop.
He fell in love, at Hedengren's,|with someone younger, fresher.
{y:i}I learnt the truth|{y:i}when I bumped into him-
{y:i}-in the psychiatric ward|{y:i}at the hospltal I worked at.
{y:i}He was so much off his guard that|{y:i}he didn't have time to think up a lie.
-Found anything?|-Nothing I didn't already know.
-What are you staring at?|-I... I'm not staring.
-She's like someone you know?|-Who?
Ann. The person you're staring at,|does she look like Ann, your wife?
You are my wife: you're not like her.
-Do you think about her?|-No. Why would I? Do you?
{y:i}No...I can hardly remember her.
Another latte, please.|- Funny, bumping into you here.
-Me bumping into you then!|-Strange.
-Why have caffe latte with you?|-Don't go. Please. I mean...stay.
Because...we've known each other.
Have we?
I mean, it's not that long ago.|How are things? Everything all right?
-Yes. Couldn't be better actually.|-So I see!
-And you?|-I'm fine...fine.
-Keeping very busy.|-Yes, very busy.
-I mean I'm keeping very busy.|-Oh... too!|Up to my arse as always.
Yes, I can tell.
-And Stefan, how's his...?|-His arse?
He's playing tennis with Daniel.
-Daniel?|-Yes...your son.
-Why tennis with him?|-He enjoys it.
-Can't he play with his own son?|-He doesn't have a son.
I see...
It's good talking to you.|Been a long time.
-Has it?|-Hasn't it?
-You said earlier it wasn't.|-It's the same thing.
He took our divorce badly.|Very badly.
-Of course. We were through.|-You were through. I certainly wasn't.
I thought we were happily married.|I was, at least.
I've met such a vivacious man|who has...made me...
...feel much more secure|than I ever was with you.
He's given me...
...much more, on a personal level,|than you ever could.
Absolutely.|What did you say...what level?
A personal, human level.
Hasn't he got some play on,|this autumn?
-Yes. His best one ever, actually.|-I look forward to it.
Do that. Look forward to it.
Are you going to have children?|You and Emma?
And you?
Ah, here's my salad.|- Could I have some more dressing?
And...two caffe lattes.
A major change, since the 80s: it's|not café au lait now, it's caffe latte.
I think I'll give this a rest.
I tried to ring you on Friday,|weren't home or at the publisher's.
I haven't worked there for three|years. I write my own novels now.
On Friday two policemen picked up|Daniel, in the middle of class.
Friday? I was at the Sophia Clinic,|visiting Emma.
He'd started a fire|in a broom cupboard at school.
Just a minor investigation, then.
There have been|seven or eight fires recently.
-He's not your son.|-D'you know how that feels?
He never has been. You've seen him|as a rival, since he was a year old.
Nothing's caused me more pain.|Did you know that?
Erik, answer me honestly.|Do you still love me?
No... Don't stop.
What have you been doing today?|Work-out?
No, I dropped by the theatre...
...and watched them|rehearsing 'Lost and Found'.
Then I tried to find some shoes,|but had no luck.
I bumped into one of the actors...
-...and chatted for a while.|-Where did you meet him?
Her. We...just had a coffee.
This artistic director in London,|who's heard about my plays, wrote...
...that he...wants me to come over.|I'm giving it a thought.
-Any chance you could get away?|-When?
In three weeks, after the firstnight.
No... No chance.
Would you be angry|if I went by myself?
No, I wouldn't be angry.
Oh...I met Erik today.
I told him about Daniel.
And that we'd bought|a house in Lidingö?
It's me that's bought a house|in Lidingö.
-Well, how were things with him?|-Schizophrenic... usual.
-Erik? Schizophrenic?| usual.
In what way is he schizophrenic?
Unproven. Just a subjective feeling|I comes and goes.
Like drains- never fixed because|the smell comes, then goes.
Is she young?
The actress. Is she young?
Around 25...
-Has a long standing relationship.|-So what!
I asked for dressing, but got mustard.
And I had to ask them to turn the|music down. But apart from that...
You can sit there...
...looking at Humle Park,|and the trees...the leaves falling...
You almost get the feeling|of being at home.
You don't have to be so focused on|the person you're having lunch with.
Who were you with?
-Er...when?|-Weren't you on your own?
I wasn't there on my own.|Didn't I say?
Say what?
I...had lunch with my wife.|At Lydmar.
Your wife? I'm your wife.
-My last wife, I mean, of course.|-I'm your wife...
-...we've been married five years.|-I know.
We got married in autumn '93.
-I just bumped into her, Emma.|-So what did you talk about?
About me?
I went to look at that coat I tried on|on Sunday. But it had gone.
Why didn't I ask them to put it aside?
Was it nicer than the blue one|I tried on at home?
No comparison...different quality.
Damn, I regret not buying it.
Too late now.
-Do you think it's too late?|-I imagine so.
Will you think about me|while you're in London?
Of course.
I'll be thinking about you|day and night.
{y:i}Why do I find it so hard|{y:i}to concentrate?
{y:i}I'm responsible for what happens, it's|{y:i}me they'll blame if things go wrong.
{y:i}Then one day they're gone.
{y:i}I don't know where they go.|{y:i}But it happens fast, to say the least.
-Were you asleep?|{y:i}-Hello. I thought you'd ring earlier.
{y:i}I know. I've had so much to do.
-What have you been doing?|{y:i}-Nothing.
I mean...I've been walking around.|That takes time.
{y:i}What's that noise?
{y:i}Is there someone there?
No, it's the TV.
A man's...about to jump off a roof.
Jump off a roof...
...commit suicide.
He's sitting|on a roof...threatening to jump.
-Why is that?|{y:i}-Dunno. No one knows.
I suppose...|he's tired of life or something...
Unemployed, could be...I dunno.
There's a dog in his lap. Amazing...
The dog's completely un-neurotic.
He nods off sometimes...
Now he's smiling at something.
{y:i}How are things at your end?|{y:i}How's Daniel?
How's the weather?
-We have to be there by seven.|-The kitchen cost 300,000!
I said you should ask them first!|Why don't you listen?
You listen to what everyone else says.
It's got to be a number one divorce|factor -not listening to one another.
Divorces are caused|by listening to one another.
-What?|-That's what I think.
-It's gotto be the other way round.|-Not listening?
I think the most common reason|for not understanding one another-
-is that people understand|each other too well.
To cope, get some peace...sometimes|communication has to be disrupted.
We get paralyzed and drown,|because we're continually receptive.
You and me?
Wha...? No! Not you and me...
...but in general.
I knew he was going to jump.|I saw it in his eyes.
He had the dog in his arms.
-What breed was it?|-A...Jack Daniel's. No! Jack Russel.
Like the sort we were thinking|of getting. Remember?
They have charm.|But they're quite short.
How's work?
-Here you are!|-Hello. Hiya!
University again, in the spring.|Doing literature.
We were just...chatting a bit.
-How are you?|-Fine.
-Have you been looking for me?|-Not at all. I was wandering about...
-I heard you left the publisher's.|-Yeah, two years ago...
-Write my own books now.|-Yes. I know. your novel.
-I'm going to the bathroom.|-You okay?
Fine. Just going to the bathroom.
-So, you know Thomas and Eva?|-I don't know them: Ann does.
-They do Thanksgiving every year.|-Yes, I know they do.
-Is Ann here?|-She wasn't feeling too bright.
Did you see my play at the National?
I appreciate you playing tennis|with my son.
Ah, Daniel.|It's fun: I do it since I enjoy it.
Precisely why you're to stop doing it.
-Drop it, see?|-Why?
Because that's what I want.
Why should you be|playing tennis with him?
If anyone's going to, I am,|or someone else.
You don't play tennis.|You only...what's
-Do you understand me?|-I understand you.
-Good. That's settled.|-He wants to change surname.
-I knew you'd say something.|-He's cut you out of all the photos.
He doesn't want to be|with you and Emma-
-as the atmosphere|is so unpleasant there.
It's terrible...
It's terrible!
So vile.
-It's so...|-I know.
It's vile.
I can't believe it's true.
I didn't know how old she was. I...
I didn't say, "How old are you?"
I mean...
She looked older, okay?
But she is fifteen - a child.
A child! What have you done?
She looked older.
She behaved...she seemed...|older than fifteen. Considerably older.
How could you!
How could I?
How in Christ's name could you?
How the fuck|am I supposed to know?
D'you have to repeat everything|three times? I don't know!
I don't know how I could do it.
Haven't a clue.
"I've no idea," as the English say.
Ann, I'll do anything at all for you,|Ann...anything at all. You know that.
-Can you get out of here, then?|-D'you want that... that what you want?
Can I just say something first?|Can I...just explain what happened?
Can't you what I have|to say before I go, okay?
What was I going to say?
That's it...
I beg your pardon.
-Beg my what?|-Your pardon. I beg your pardon.
Forgive me if I've done|something unforgivable.
-I wish you'd die...|-I understand.
...and that you'd never existed.
Can't you leave?
-Let's try to get through this.|-No, I can't.
Don't say anything.
-I can't...|-Just lie still.
Why do you only want me|when I'm crying?
I don't know.
It's not true.
-Maybe I'll give you a child.|-That's too late.
Don't say anything.
{y:i}-Hello!|-In here.
{y:i}Hello darling!|{y:i}I'm just getting a glass of wine.
-No wine. I was at the Sophia Clinic.|{y:i}-Ah, did it go?
The egg's 14 millimetres. In two days|it'll be ready for fertilization... we've got to try and make love.
Preferably Wednesday...and Thursday.
Friday and Saturday, too.|Just to be on the safe side.
-Sunday maybe.|-This Thursday?
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,|Saturday and Sunday.
-Can you manage that?|-Yes. Of course I can.
If you want kids...with me.
Do you?
Want to make love?
A quickie. I'm ovulating.
I just wanted to see|how things were with you.
-I'm not mad.|-No, you're not.
-I'm not mad.|-No, I know you're not.
So what am I?
You're tired.
You...have had a little breakdown.
I was right.
What about?
Didn't I say there'd be a war|in Yugoslavia? Yes, I did.
-Here...|-I should've had ice tea instead.
-Didn't they have it?|-Don't think so.
Where are we?
Haven't had coffee|since I got pregnant.
-No. Here.|-That's all we've covered?
-Shall we take the autostrada?|-God no! It's ghastly.
Let's use...this route,|through Pistoia, Montale...Prato-
-Calenzano, Sesto|and then Florence.
It's as though I was feeling sick.
-Very sick?|-Not sure.
On the way back we can go|through Volterra.
You know who lived there?
The Etruscans.
Is it...all the way down there?
I wonder if Eugenio Montale|comes from Montale?
I prefer the other poet, Ungaretti,|wonderful poem-
-it's only...from a Great War trench...|can't remember it, only two words:
Well, some other...
It feels weird.
-Does it?|-Here.
I never had any children.
Neither did I.
She couldn't have any.
-We tried.|-Yes, we tried everything.
IVF, love, and God...everything.
...Crete, Ireland...|every bloody island.
-Everything except making love.|-But we made love when we had to.
Remember the house, Erik?
The house with the walnuttree|we planted in September?
We planted it outside the glazed-in|veranda facing the garden.
Only a month earlier we'd been|looking for that sofa. Remember?
Looking for something to sit on-
-so we could sit there together,|watching the tree grow.
Can't we use the sofa|from the living room?
It can unfold into a bed.|In case we have guests.
We're not going to have guests.|We're having a two-seater sofa...
...for two people.
-We can go to other places, too.|-Of course. We've got all our lives.
-Those?|-Those ones? The white ones?
What do you think?
Me...I think they're lovely.|Comfortable too.
Comfortable too.
Here I am!
D'you want to sit here|and talk to me for a while?
It'd mean a lot to me|if you talked to me a little. smoking.
Finished my new play yesterday.|Never thought I would, ever.
It's about a publisher, an editor,|married to a doctor.
At the start they're in their forties.
She can't have children,|or they can't.
She gets pregnant a few times,|but miscarries.
Sorry. He's...
...not a publisher, he's a writer,|of course. I changed that.
The difference isn't really important.|It's the same person.
One day a young woman turns up|who wants him to read her novel.
He finds her young, beautiful,|intelligent. He falls in love...
...deeply in love.
He...goes looking for her, in a tiny|flat she's borrowed from a friend.
He doesn't know she's just hooked up|with a brand new playwrighter.
After three weeks, psychosis hits her|and she's admitted to hospital.
Now-who's in the same ward,|waiting for her?
The playwrighter, who's there|due to his heroine addiction.
Very...very amusing scenes.
She, psychotic: he, abstinent.
I like those scenes very much...|they're absolutely authentic.
Time passes.
We find out the younger woman|has problems getting pregnant, too.
The playwrighter is unfaithful|to the doctor with a fifteen-year old.
He's reported, for sex with an under-|age person. The doctor leaves him.
She moves to Italy and starts|working with boatrefugees.
One day the publisher's|17-year-old son comes to visit.
How are things?
And Erik?
I need to do a bit of shopping|on our way home.
How's school then?
-Okay. It's my last year.|-I know it's your last year.
I took you to school on your first day.|Do you remember?
-D'you know what you're going to do?| I don't, really.
You don't have to decide yet.
I'm so glad we've managed|to keep in touch.
-After the divorce, I mean.|-Me too.
-Oh! I can't believe you're here.|-Nor me.
It's Erik. He's coming|the day after tomorrow.
{y:i}Daniel?|{y:i}Are you awake?
We thought we'd drive somewhere...|to Lucca. Want to come along?
See you later, then.
{y:i}Where's the joy gone?
{y:i}Was there ever any?
{y:i}I don't know.
{y:i}Don't you know?
{y:i}If it was joy.
{y:i}What was it then?
{y:i}Yes, it was.
{y:i}It was awful. I was so happy.
{y:i}Maybe I didn't feel joy.|{y:i}But I was so happy...
DC Sniper 23 Days of Fear
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