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{y:i}As soon as I see you... {y:i}...even before I see you,|{y:i}I start to smile... {y:i}...without knowing I'm doing it. {y:i}And I start to smile as well.|{y:i}Before I see you. {y:i}We've got the same smile. {y:i}But we're not smiling|{y:i}out of happiness. Are we? {y:i}It's not a smile of happiness. {y:i}It's a smile of politeness...or fear... {y:i}...or even of grief. {y:i}I don't know. {y:i}That's how it feels. {y:i}As if we don't want to let|{y:i}each other know how sad we are. {y:i}So we smile because of our grief. {y:i}Because we can't do anything|{y:i}about what's happened... {y:i}...about how things have turned out. Details Based on a drama by Lars Norén Screenplay Jonas Frykberg -Hi! Pleased to meet you. Erik Falk.|-Emma Lukacs. This is very nice.|What can we do for you? I sent you a manuscript|a few months back. Did you have time to read it?|It was a novel. It is a novel. Ah...a novel...that's right. -What's the title now?|-Now? Now it's 'Lost and Found'. Maybe just 'Lost' would be better.|Did you read it? You didn't read it. It doesn't matter. Come in. I haven't read it. I'm being honest.|I'm sure someone has. -Do sit down.|-You must get masses of junk... -...you don't have time to read.|-We certainly get our share. But every ten years|a new talent pops up. -How old did you say you were?|-How old? 26. I guess you have to be under twenty,|to get published these days. Not at this publisher's. I'm 44. -Beautiful room.|-Yes...it is. Used to be my father's. Typically Swedish.|I've been abroad ten years. Don't know if I can write in Swedish|anymore. I was at Yale. Ah, I see... I studied the history of literature|and sociology...and the Elizabethans. Oh, them.|So...do you live in the US? -No. In London.|-Why? Why live there? I met an American who lives there,|and married him. -Ah...you're married.|-Yes. Well, we're splitting up. I'm getting divorced.|I might be moving back here again. What for...|why are you getting divorced? None of my business. If you don't like my novel,|once you find it, I could work- -as a reader or translator. I've read|a lot of new American literature. -What does he do?|-Who? -Your husband, what's his line?|-You're asking what work he does? -Why are you asking?|-I...Well, I don't know really. He's a jazz pianist.|Has his own band, sometimes. -Funk?|-No. He's played with|John McLaughlin and Robert Fripp. I'm not familiar|with Robert Fripp, as... I shall die before you. Hello. Now then... -I've been waiting three hours!|-Bronchial problems. Right? I've got lung cancer. No, it's my|sinuses, or whatever they're called... ...it won't go away. I've got a stomach ache-cramp. Okay, let's have a look. Sit there. -Can you open wide?|-Yes, I can. Thank you. -A little coating. Smoke?|-Yup. But I run five to seven kilometres,|five days a week. Slight inflammation... Here it's bloody painful, when I bend|to pick things up or tie my shoes. Sometimes I get dizzy.|I almost pass out. It's not serious, is it,|like Méniére's syndrome? What do you think? Sometimes my heart races.|Bloody unpleasant. I have to lie down. It makes me so worried.|I had pneumonia in the spring, too. -Open wide.|-Am I heading for a burn-out? It could be the combination of a virus|and being overworked. -You're 30.|-29...going on 30. I feel like 50. My friends are all getting divorces,|they work too much. So am I...What the hell. There are|people waiting who need help. -What work d'you do?|-Working class. -What?|-Hypochondriac. No. Author. I write. -Can you lie down?|-I've just written a play. The National are doing it this autumn. I've just finished a thing about|all the lonely people dying in the city. I went out with the guys|who have to pick up the pieces- -when someone's thrown themselves|in front of a tube. Their bodies can get twisted like|a rope between train and platform. At the crematorium they put|the frontpart of a suit on them- -or the frontbit of a dress if it's|a woman, or a jumper if it's a child. I could use that, perhaps.|A giftbook...for Christmas. Can you prescribe me something|to make me sleep? Something strong. I'm not sure what it's called,|but...Rohypnol. It's against my principles|to take stuff like that. But...at some point I've got to sleep. I'm prescribing you penicillin.|Three times daily for ten days. And, as for sleeping pills,|there's a new drug- -that doesn't have|such strong side effects. Stilnoct. I'll give you 25 tablets|at 10 milligrams. -They won't solve any problems.|-I only have insoluble problems. Listen...couldn't you let me have|a hundred...while you're at it? One year later What do you want me|to ask you to do? -Ask for what? I've stopped asking.|-Ask me to get you a glass of water. Ask me to answer the phone. Ask me to fuck your arse|while you're kneeling on the sofa. I don't want to ask for that.|There are things I don't want to do. -Ask for something you don't want.|-What's the good of that? Shall I wear this?|Perhaps it's nicer than the blue one. -You've never let me fuck your arse.|-I don't like you saying that... That dress needs a bruise|to go with it. -You want to sit there?|-Yes, please. -What do you think?|-What I think? Do I have to think something? I don't know. I think it's... ...fairly...more aesthetically violent|than it need to be. Oh, I don't know. No, I don't think so at all. -My period's started.|-No. No! -Hasn't it? So what is it?|-Bad luck. Want to go home? No, why? It's looking pretty good. Is it? Isn't it awful? Isn't everyone|quiet? Aren't they very quiet? -They're listening.|-Is that what they're doing? I find it...most interesting.|And exciting. Is it? Yes, maybe it is.|I don't know. I couldn't give a shit. My wife's just said|it's beautifully different. This is Ann, my wife.|- Stefan, who wrote this. Hello. -What was that music at the end?|-The end? There's another act to go. I must be off. -It's going to do very well.|-What? What's going to do very well? We're publishing his play, but why?|What bloody kind of play is it? -Hi there.|-Hi. Good evening. How are things? There was such a long line|at the ladies' room... I've gotten a job. At Hedengren's|bookstore. Just for a while. -In...Stureplan...|-Come and buy a book some time. -Yes...I'd like that.|-Bye. -Who was that? Someone you know?|-No... She sent us a manuscript|some years ago, I think. She's so beautiful.|Did you accept it? I don't think we did. No, we didn't, it wasn't ready. She's beautiful. She's ill. Is she? Great. I'm so pleased|you could make it. -You did ask me, didn't you?|-Well, yes...I did! -Why did you want to see me?|-Why I wanted to see you? -Why do you think I wanted to?|-Well...I don't know. Your lunch break? -How long's your lunch?|-Oh...until two. An hour. -What's the time?|-Twenty past one... Would you like to talk to someone? Please put that lighter down. Thanks. -I've been thinking about you.|-Why? Why? Yes, why have you|been thinking about me? Why does one think about someone? Well...what have you been thinking? -Where do you live?|-Where I live? Well, I live... I've borrowed a friend's apartment. A little studio on Västmanna Street.|Next door to Matteus Church. Sometimes you hear them singing|in there, when there's a service. -Where do you live?|-Jungfru Street. Been there 13 years. Have you been thinking|about me at all? -Yes.|-Have you? Of course I have. No?|He didn't say where he was going? {y:i}No, it doesn't say here.|{y:i}Do you want him to call you? No... No, there's no need. Thanks. Bye. -Come and have something to eat.|-I don't want to. Daniel... -Why are you smiling?|-Smiling? I don't know. -Why are you asking?|-Are you tired? No. What do you mean? I don't mean anything. -What have you been doing today?|-What I've been doing...today? I've had a couple of meetings...|completely unnecessary- -about moving publishing up a floor. And then...they're moving accounts|down a floor. And that's the exact opposite|of what they did three years ago. And I had a meeting with|one of the readers, who said to me: "I don't want to intrude,|but you're my boss." "I've been here nine years|and you've never talked to me"- -"so now I've booked you in for|a meeting. What do you think of me?" "What I think of you? Well..." "You're good...sound judgement,|you express yourself very well." "You're to the point." "Screw my sound judgement," he said. "What do you think of me|as a person?" "As a person?|Well...Well, I don't know." "I know you don't," he said.|Then he left. That's what I've done.|What have you done? -Nothing else?|-Not that I recall. And you? Well, at... At about half one|a man came into emergency. He was carrying a can of petrol|with at least five litres in it... ...quite a lot. Then...he unscrewed the cap|and poured petrol over himself- -and got out a cigarette lighter. And...then what? I went up to him|and tried to talk to him- -tried to get him|to hand the lighter over. He didn't say a word the whole time. I don't even know|if he understood what I was saying. Then...the fire brigade came- -and started evacuating the place|and told me to leave. But I couldn't, I couldn't move. I don't know how long I stood there. -And then?|-Then? Then he...lit the lighter|and started burning. What? God Almighty, did he die? What do you think? Yes. He died. Do you want to talk about it? I am talking about it.|That's what I'm doing. You really don't remember|what you've been doing? -When?|-Today. But I've told you. How are things? Not too bad.|Better than before, anyway. I guess that's the idea-you feel|better after, than you did before... I don't know. I hope so.|Otherwise what's the point? Yeah...what?|Otherwise it's meaningless. We're here. Aren't we? Who's that, out there? I don't know. -Don't you know who it is?|-How should I know? -When did she arrive?|-She was already here. -Is it time?|-But did she say anything? That she thought it would feel|a little better afterwards... -Better? What would feel better?|-Just being here, I suppose. Is there any difference, though? {y:i}If he recognizes me,|{y:i}I have been alive. {y:i}If I walk past him and he recognizes|{y:i}me, I existed...didn't I? {y:i}You could say that. I'd never shake Kissinger's hand,|if the opportunity arose. Not even if he held out his hand|and said 'Kissinger'. Never. What I remember is... ...that I liked going into a bookshop... ...just as it opened.|To be one of the first customers. To feel the untouched spines|of the books. And hear the first footsteps,|before there are too many... One day I saw a book. I thought|perhaps I'd buy it, but I didn't. Then I thought, how many things you|think about without ever doing them. Then I thought|how it makes no odds. I had word from Toscana Holidays. A house in Marina de Pisa...|2 July, three weeks. -Sitting room, two bed, kitchen.|-Great. And there's a patio at the back with|figtrees. We can eat breakfast there. Have intercourse...woman and man. Let's go to Italy via Yugoslavia.|Through Macedonia. Macedonia? What the hell for,|if we're going to Italy? -It's beautiful.|-You're crazy. It can't be that bloody beautiful. And|there's going to be war in Yugoslavia. It'll be a horrendous bloody war. -Why the hell go through Macedonia?|-No...As you said. -Want some more?|-Of what? I've not had anything yet. Everyone! Two minutes to go.|Bring your glasses and come through. We could put Daniel on a plane|and then pick him up in Pisa? -Don't you want time for just us?|-But the last week. We could go to Florence,|up to Fiesole, to that monastery... -...like nine years ago. Remember?|-Of course. The food was atrocious.|I remember that. We're not going there to eat,|you idiot. Just for the memories. That's the most beautiful room I've|ever stayed in. So clean and calm. From the balcony, all Florence lay|stretched out below, glittering... ...like a memory. {y:i}Ring out... -Happy New Year!|-Happy New Year! -Hello.|-Hiya. Oh, it's you.|What are you doing here? Running. -Oh... Happy New Year.|-What's happy about it? -D'you think there's going to be war?|-Where? In Yugoslavia? Yes. In Kuwait!|Don't you keep up with CNN...eh? I do...|I'm up half the night watching CNN. The Americans want war...|it's their favourite spectator sport. I hope it comes to that. It can't all end in some bloody anti-|climax. Not now, after this autumn! -Already done?|-Yup. What else do you do? Golf, tennis? -Cricket.|-Cricket... Oh. Not often you see a cricketmatch|in Sweden. A bit unusual. Where do you play? Where? I'm fooling.|I don't play cricket...it was a joke. -I thought as much.|-I thought you thought as much. Maybe you and I could play tennis|some day, if you like. -You and me?|-If you play tennis, I mean. I'm quite a decent tennis player.|Dad wanted me to turn pro. He wanted me|to be better than Björn Borg. He drove me to the courts every|bloody day, starting when I was six. Now he's in hospital,|some kind of motor-neurone disease. He'll be dying soon. He communicates pushing a small|rod against a computer screen. C'est la vie. He wants me to come and visit him,|but I refuse. The first time he raped me I was five. Let me know|if you want tennis lessons. They had no rooms in Fiesole,|not until August. -Then we'll be gone.|-Yes. This is the house that|Gabriele D'Annunzio- -used to come to a great deal|as his great love lived here- -the love of his life. Do mind the stairs.|Please come this way. Please...come in. That is a portrait|D'Annunzio gave my grandfather. The balcony...|You can see the sea. This way, I'll show you your room. Here's where you'll be sleeping.|A cupboard for all your things. Over here we have the kitchen... Be a nice chap|and rub some on my back. How does it feel? How does what feel? -Do you want a whisky?|-Whisky? At ten in the morning? We're on holiday! -Do you think about her?|-What did you say? -I said, do you think about her?|-Think about who? -Her. The girl you're thinking about.|-For God's sake who? Emma? Oh, so that's her name?|I didn't know her name. I think that's her name,|if that's who you mean? -Don't know. I'm asking you.|-Asking me what? -If you think about her?|-Why would I? I've met her twce. -Have you slept with her?|-I've met her twce. As I recall, she's been married|to an American... ...for seven or eight years.|He's a musician. I remember all this- -as her novel's about her marriage|to an American musician in Berlin. And that's why I recall it. I remember that...|I remember her novel better than her. Titian. "Venus di Urbino". Why does it have|such an impact on me? I don't know. I'm not you. She's naked. With small breasts. Have you slept with her? And why would I have done that? Because you wanted to.|Because you liked it. Because men and women do that. Well, we don't. But other men|and women have sex with each other. You're the only woman|I've slept with for the last 9 years. Even if we only do it|once a month nowadays... When's your ovulation? You needn't worry,|I haven't got that many eggs left. She's not the woman|you think she is: she's ill. Okay by me... Then I suppose|that's what attracts you. -Good Lord, are you here?|-Hello. What are you doing here?|- Hello. This is Ann, my wife.|- Stefan... You met at the National I think... At the first night of my first play.|Awful piece of work. Exactly... I mean, that's|where we met. At the National. -Oh... Hello.|-So many people everywhere. -Wha...This is...|-Emma. -So you're in Florence?|-Have you been here long? -Why does everyone go to Florence?|-Have you been inside? Yes, the Renaissance galleries|with Lippi are a must. They're the ones I like best. There's a limit|to what you can take in. -Where are you staying?|-In Marina de Pisa. -A few kilometres outside Pisa.|-20 km. -And you?|-We're staying in a monastery. Up there. -Fiesole, it's called.|-Are you? It's...nice to get away from all|the traffic, all the people down here. You should have come in March.|Then it's just Italian schoolchildren. I was in the States in May.|Met some agents and lawyers. We'll see where it all leads. I saw Hackman|in 'Death and the Maiden'. It wasn't a...flashy star job at all,|as you might have expected. Glenn Close was good as well. -A bit old, perhaps.|-For what? -Have you been to the Donatello?|-Yes we have. -Amazing baths they had.|-Who did? The Romans. Didn't you seen those|enormous baths in the corridors? No, no...those aren't baths.|They're sarcophagii, you know. Really? I see. Are you sure? -How are things? Sorry I'm late.|-No. You're early. Sorry I'm early.|I got lost. Not Upplands Street? No! Västmanna Street.|Come in. I'll just get dressed. {y:i}I was asleep|{y:i}in that house we were renting. {y:i}And I woke up...suddenly, in|{y:i}the middle of the night, about three. {y:i}I sat up in the bed and said,|{y:i}straight into the darkness: {y:i}"Now my life's falling to pieces." -Why did you say that?|-I just said it. Loud and clear. Had something happened? I think so. Next I said, so loud I heard|it: "I want to have a child with her." -"I love her."|-Who? You. Can't we just carry on being friends? -Where's Stefan?|-He's at home, I think. -He felt run down, sore throat.|-That's rough. Is he very ill? He's seeing the doctor tomorrow,|to get some penicillin. Maybe it's tonsillitis. Can't you tell me you love me? I guess so. It hurts. Loving me? Saying it. I never said it before. Not to anyone. How are you feeling? -Where am I?|-Sabbatsberg Hospital. You've been in intensive care. What was I doing there? Why was I in...|What did you call it? Intensive care. -What sort of tablets did you take?|-What sort? -White ones.|-How many? -Didn't count. Just swallowed them.|-While using a needle? Yup. -We take this sort of thing seriously.|-"We?" How many of you are there? -Your lungs could have collapsed.|-I know who you are. -You know who I am, don't you?|-Yes. Who am I? -We've met before.|-I know we've met before. But who am I? -May I touch you?|-No. -Can't I touch you?|-No. Why can't I touch you? I'm good at it. You'd like it.|They tell me I'm good at it. They? How many of them are there? -Oh, look, it's Milano.|-It's Paris. No. They're talking Italian.|It's Milano. Look at that! The café we were at.|We sat there. Look! But darling, that could be anywhere. I wonder what went wrong. Why does a beautiful, young woman|choose that for a living? -Why not workin a shop?|-Workin a shop where? Anywhere. A tax-free boutique where you buy|perfume...and handbags. Now he's caressing her. She's...enjoying it. Look. It's me. Is it you? I know just how she feels. Now she's caressing him. I could do that to you. Like that...just like that|I could do it... -...just as well.|-Would you? Do it, then. Now she's bending... Look, get down. Wait. What is it? I thought I heard Daniel. He's gone back to sleep. I used to hold him until he fell asleep. I almost fell asleep myself.|He called me 'Mum.' {y:i}Now it's really over. {y:i}Why are you here? {y:i}Here? The same reason|{y:i}as everyone else. {y:i}-What happened?|{y:i}-A car accident. {y:i}-Car accident?|{y:i}-Yes. A plain accident. {y:i}-Our car went off the road.|{y:i}-And you died? {y:i}Yes. It happened so fast, we hardly|noticed. You couldn't feel a thing. -Well, I couldn't.|-I was in dreadful pain. Were you? That's right.|That roadsign ran you through. I couldn't stop screaming. In the end|I couldn't hear myself screaming. I tried to turn round...to see|how you were. But it was dark. -And you. What happened to you?|-I don't want to talk about it. Forgotten something? -Hello?|{y:i}-Hi there! Remember me? -What do you want?|{y:i}-How did you reckon it'd happen? {y:i}-That you'd get to decide everything?|-What do you want? {y:i}What do you think I want?|{y:i}Let me in and you'll see. {y:i}-Let me in, you can see my breasts.|-It sounds... But... We could meet later...for lunch, or...? {y:i}You still love her. Don't you? {y:i}Let me in! Don't be scared.|{y:i}She's not going to die. -You've no shoes!|-Have you told Ann about me? -Keep calm.|-I am calm. -When are you going to talk to her?|-Take it easy! -Don't tell me what to do.|-I'm not. What are you going to do?|Talk to her? What'll you tell her? I'll talk to her. -When?|-On her evening off. Tell her you're leaving her,|for three months...then coming back? Or will you tell her|you're leaving her for ever? Why do you want to know my plans,|where I'm going to live- -what films I want to see...? I know nothing about your plans.|And I'm discreet enough not to ask. "Have you had a lung X-ray?"|"Is your doctor okay?" How have you planned this? Does|she know what's going to hit her? Have you prepared her? I'm starting|to feel bored, waiting for you... ...oldtimer.|Do you have any Häagen Dasz? -Häagen Dasz ice cream?|-Yes. Do you? -Do you share ice cream, too?|-Haven't bought any for years. -The chocolate's best. Tub.|-I think I'll get dressed now. Wait! I came here to show you this.|It should make you happy. 'The Flyer and the Fledgling,'|about you. I'll read it to you. -Not now! Can't we just...|-No! We're doing this now. Here's the first page.|There's me. There's you, on a leaf. "How happy you look.|You're never usually this happy." "Can you look this happy?|And why are you so happy?" "Because you're a little flying thing." "You can fly...wherever you like." "Let's play daddy and child," you say. "You're the child, I'm the dad."|You're the dad. Where's the child? Let's see.|"First I have to give you a bath." What happens next? In moonlight there sat we two perching in a tree -Then we have to fly.|-No, no. It's easy. Like this... I can't find anything. -Can't you?|-No. Nothing interesting. Unless you want to see 'Grease'|or 'Gone with the Wind.' No thanks. There's nothing then. -Shall we go for a walk instead?|-Right. I saw a black dress at NK|which I'd like to try on. Okay. -I've lost weight. Seven kilos.|-As much as that? That girl... Who? What's her name? Emma? The one we bumped into|in Italy. Wasn't her name Emma? I'm not sure. I think it was. She was admitted|to the psychiatric ward yesterday. Really? Yesterday? Psychotic. There's a concert we could go to.|Mozart's 'Requiem'. In two hours. -Shall we go?|-Okay. Then I'll have time|to look at that dress as well. What actually happened?|If you don't mind me asking? He was feeling a bit tired,|if I remember correctly. "Read something," I said. "Haven't|you got a good book to read?" So he went down|to Hedengren's Bookshop. He fell in love, at Hedengren's,|with someone younger, fresher. {y:i}I learnt the truth|{y:i}when I bumped into him- {y:i}-in the psychiatric ward|{y:i}at the hospltal I worked at. {y:i}He was so much off his guard that|{y:i}he didn't have time to think up a lie. Emma. -Found anything?|-Nothing I didn't already know. -What are you staring at?|-I... I'm not staring. -She's like someone you know?|-Who? Ann. The person you're staring at,|does she look like Ann, your wife? You are my wife: you're not like her. -Do you think about her?|-No. Why would I? Do you? {y:i}No...I can hardly remember her. Another latte, please.|- Funny, bumping into you here. -Me bumping into you then!|-Strange. -Why have caffe latte with you?|-Don't go. Please. I mean...stay. Why? Because...we've known each other. Have we? I mean, it's not that long ago.|How are things? Everything all right? -Yes. Couldn't be better actually.|-So I see! -And you?|-I'm fine...fine. Good. -Keeping very busy.|-Yes, very busy. -I mean I'm keeping very busy.|-Oh... Well...me too!|Up to my arse as always. Yes, I can tell. -And Stefan, how's his...?|-His arse? Fine. He's playing tennis with Daniel. -Daniel?|-Yes...your son. -Why tennis with him?|-He enjoys it. -Can't he play with his own son?|-He doesn't have a son. I see... It's good talking to you.|Been a long time. -Has it?|-Hasn't it? -You said earlier it wasn't.|-It's the same thing. He took our divorce badly.|Very badly. -Of course. We were through.|-You were through. I certainly wasn't. I thought we were happily married.|I was, at least. I've met such a vivacious man|who has...made me... ...feel much more secure|than I ever was with you. He's given me... ...much more, on a personal level,|than you ever could. Absolutely.|What did you say...what level? A personal, human level. Great. Hasn't he got some play on,|this autumn? -Yes. His best one ever, actually.|-I look forward to it. Do that. Look forward to it. Are you going to have children?|You and Emma? Ah...maybe. And you? Ah, here's my salad.|- Could I have some more dressing? And...two caffe lattes. A major change, since the 80s: it's|not café au lait now, it's caffe latte. I think I'll give this a rest. I tried to ring you on Friday, but...you|weren't home or at the publisher's. I haven't worked there for three|years. I write my own novels now. On Friday two policemen picked up|Daniel, in the middle of class. Friday? I was at the Sophia Clinic,|visiting Emma. He'd started a fire|in a broom cupboard at school. Just a minor investigation, then. There have been|seven or eight fires recently. -He's not your son.|-D'you know how that feels? He never has been. You've seen him|as a rival, since he was a year old. Nothing's caused me more pain.|Did you know that? Erik, answer me honestly.|Do you still love me? Hello. No... Don't stop. What have you been doing today?|Work-out? No, I dropped by the theatre... ...and watched them|rehearsing 'Lost and Found'. Then I tried to find some shoes,|but had no luck. I bumped into one of the actors... -...and chatted for a while.|-Where did you meet him? Her. We...just had a coffee. This artistic director in London,|who's heard about my plays, wrote... ...that he...wants me to come over.|I'm giving it a thought. -Any chance you could get away?|-When? In three weeks, after the firstnight. No... No chance. Would you be angry|if I went by myself? No, I wouldn't be angry. Oh...I met Erik today. I told him about Daniel. And that we'd bought|a house in Lidingö? It's me that's bought a house|in Lidingö. -Well, how were things with him?|-Schizophrenic... ...as usual. -Erik? Schizophrenic?|-Mm...as usual. In what way is he schizophrenic? Unproven. Just a subjective feeling|I have...it comes and goes. Like drains- never fixed because|the smell comes, then goes. Is she young? Who? The actress. Is she young? Around 25... Short. -Has a long standing relationship.|-So what! I asked for dressing, but got mustard. And I had to ask them to turn the|music down. But apart from that... You can sit there... ...looking at Humle Park,|and the trees...the leaves falling... You almost get the feeling|of being at home. You don't have to be so focused on|the person you're having lunch with. Who were you with? -Er...when?|-Weren't you on your own? I wasn't there on my own.|Didn't I say? Say what? I...had lunch with my wife.|At Lydmar. Your wife? I'm your wife. -My last wife, I mean, of course.|-I'm your wife... -...we've been married five years.|-I know. We got married in autumn '93. -I just bumped into her, Emma.|-So what did you talk about? About me? I went to look at that coat I tried on|on Sunday. But it had gone. Why didn't I ask them to put it aside? Was it nicer than the blue one|I tried on at home? Definitely... No comparison...different quality. Damn, I regret not buying it. Too late now. -Do you think it's too late?|-I imagine so. Will you think about me|while you're in London? Of course. I'll be thinking about you|day and night. {y:i}Why do I find it so hard|{y:i}to concentrate? {y:i}I'm responsible for what happens, it's|{y:i}me they'll blame if things go wrong. {y:i}Then one day they're gone. {y:i}I don't know where they go.|{y:i}But it happens fast, to say the least. {y:i}Hello. -Were you asleep?|{y:i}-Hello. I thought you'd ring earlier. {y:i}I know. I've had so much to do. -What have you been doing?|{y:i}-Nothing. I mean...I've been walking around.|That takes time. {y:i}What's that noise? {y:i}Is there someone there? No, it's the TV. A man's...about to jump off a roof. Jump off a roof... ...commit suicide. He's sitting|on a roof...threatening to jump. -Why is that?|{y:i}-Dunno. No one knows. I suppose...|he's tired of life or something... Unemployed, could be...I dunno. Love. There's a dog in his lap. Amazing... The dog's completely un-neurotic. He nods off sometimes... Now he's smiling at something. {y:i}How are things at your end?|{y:i}How's Daniel? Fine. How's the weather? {y:i}Hello? {y:i}Hello... -We have to be there by seven.|-The kitchen cost 300,000! I said you should ask them first!|Why don't you listen? You listen to what everyone else says. It's got to be a number one divorce|factor -not listening to one another. Divorces are caused|by listening to one another. -What?|-That's what I think. -It's gotto be the other way round.|-Not listening? Sure. I think the most common reason|for not understanding one another- -is that people understand|each other too well. To cope, get some peace...sometimes|communication has to be disrupted. We get paralyzed and drown,|because we're continually receptive. You and me? Wha...? No! Not you and me... ...but in general. I knew he was going to jump.|I saw it in his eyes. He had the dog in his arms. -What breed was it?|-A...Jack Daniel's. No! Jack Russel. Like the sort we were thinking|of getting. Remember? They have charm.|But they're quite short. How's work? -Here you are!|-Hello. Hiya! University again, in the spring.|Doing literature. We were just...chatting a bit. -How are you?|-Fine. -Have you been looking for me?|-Not at all. I was wandering about... -I heard you left the publisher's.|-Yeah, two years ago... -Write my own books now.|-Yes. I know. I...read your novel. -I'm going to the bathroom.|-You okay? Fine. Just going to the bathroom. -So, you know Thomas and Eva?|-I don't know them: Ann does. -They do Thanksgiving every year.|-Yes, I know they do. -Is Ann here?|-She wasn't feeling too bright. Cheers. Did you see my play at the National? I appreciate you playing tennis|with my son. Ah, Daniel.|It's fun: I do it since I enjoy it. Precisely why you're to stop doing it. Really? -Drop it, see?|-Why? Because that's what I want. Why should you be|playing tennis with him? If anyone's going to, I am,|or someone else. You don't play tennis.|You only...what's it...cricket. -Do you understand me?|-I understand you. -Good. That's settled.|-He wants to change surname. -I knew you'd say something.|-He's cut you out of all the photos. He doesn't want to be|with you and Emma- -as the atmosphere|is so unpleasant there. It's terrible... It's terrible! So vile. -It's so...|-I know. It's vile. I can't believe it's true. Fifteen... Fifteen! I didn't know how old she was. I... I didn't say, "How old are you?" I mean... She looked older, okay? But she is fifteen - a child. A child! What have you done? She looked older. She behaved...she seemed...|older than fifteen. Considerably older. How could you! How could I? How in Christ's name could you? How the fuck|am I supposed to know? D'you have to repeat everything|three times? I don't know! I don't know how I could do it. Haven't a clue. "I've no idea," as the English say. Ann... Ann, I'll do anything at all for you,|Ann...anything at all. You know that. -Can you get out of here, then?|-D'you want that... ...is that what you want? Can I just say something first?|Can I...just explain what happened? Can't you listen...to what I have|to say before I go, okay? What was I going to say? That's it... I beg your pardon. -Beg my what?|-Your pardon. I beg your pardon. Forgive me if I've done|something unforgivable. -I wish you'd die...|-I understand. ...and that you'd never existed. Can't you leave? Ann... -Let's try to get through this.|-No, I can't. Don't say anything. -I can't...|-Just lie still. No... Why do you only want me|when I'm crying? I don't know. It's not true. -Maybe I'll give you a child.|-That's too late. Don't say anything. {y:i}-Hello!|-In here. {y:i}Hello darling!|{y:i}I'm just getting a glass of wine. -No wine. I was at the Sophia Clinic.|{y:i}-Ah, yes...how did it go? The egg's 14 millimetres. In two days|it'll be ready for fertilization... ...so we've got to try and make love. Okay. Preferably Wednesday...and Thursday. Friday and Saturday, too.|Just to be on the safe side. -Sunday maybe.|-This Thursday? Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,|Saturday and Sunday. -Can you manage that?|-Yes. Of course I can. If you want kids...with me. Do you? Want to make love? A quickie. I'm ovulating. I just wanted to see|how things were with you. -I'm not mad.|-No, you're not. -I'm not mad.|-No, I know you're not. So what am I? You're tired. You...have had a little breakdown. I was right. What about? Didn't I say there'd be a war|in Yugoslavia? Yes, I did. -Here...|-I should've had ice tea instead. -Didn't they have it?|-Don't think so. Where are we? Are we...here? Haven't had coffee|since I got pregnant. -No. Here.|-That's all we've covered? -Shall we take the autostrada?|-God no! It's ghastly. Let's use...this route,|through Pistoia, Montale...Prato- -Calenzano, Sesto|and then Florence. It's as though I was feeling sick. -Very sick?|-Not sure. On the way back we can go|through Volterra. You know who lived there? The Etruscans. Is it...all the way down there? I wonder if Eugenio Montale|comes from Montale? I prefer the other poet, Ungaretti,|wonderful poem- -it's only...from a Great War trench...|can't remember it, only two words: {y:i}Illumenso... Well, some other... It feels weird. -Does it?|-Here. I never had any children. Neither did I. She couldn't have any. -We tried.|-Yes, we tried everything. IVF, love, and God...everything. Travel... ...Crete, Ireland...|every bloody island. -Everything except making love.|-But we made love when we had to. Remember the house, Erik? The house with the walnuttree|we planted in September? We planted it outside the glazed-in|veranda facing the garden. Only a month earlier we'd been|looking for that sofa. Remember? Looking for something to sit on- -so we could sit there together,|watching the tree grow. Can't we use the sofa|from the living room? It can unfold into a bed.|In case we have guests. We're not going to have guests.|We're having a two-seater sofa... ...for two people. -We can go to other places, too.|-Of course. We've got all our lives. -Those?|-Those ones? The white ones? Yeah. What do you think? Me...I think they're lovely.|Comfortable too. Lovely. Comfortable too. Hello. Here I am! D'you want to sit here|and talk to me for a while? It'd mean a lot to me|if you talked to me a little. Hey...no smoking. Finished my new play yesterday.|Never thought I would, ever. It's about a publisher, an editor,|married to a doctor. At the start they're in their forties. She can't have children,|or they can't. She gets pregnant a few times,|but miscarries. Sorry. He's... ...not a publisher, he's a writer,|of course. I changed that. The difference isn't really important.|It's the same person. One day a young woman turns up|who wants him to read her novel. He finds her young, beautiful,|intelligent. He falls in love... ...deeply in love. He...goes looking for her, in a tiny|flat she's borrowed from a friend. He doesn't know she's just hooked up|with a brand new playwrighter. After three weeks, psychosis hits her|and she's admitted to hospital. Now-who's in the same ward,|waiting for her? The playwrighter, who's there|due to his heroine addiction. Very...very amusing scenes. She, psychotic: he, abstinent. I like those scenes very much...|they're absolutely authentic. Time passes. We find out the younger woman|has problems getting pregnant, too. The playwrighter is unfaithful|to the doctor with a fifteen-year old. He's reported, for sex with an under-|age person. The doctor leaves him. She moves to Italy and starts|working with boatrefugees. One day the publisher's|17-year-old son comes to visit. How are things? Fine. And Erik? So-so. I need to do a bit of shopping|on our way home. How's school then? -Okay. It's my last year.|-I know it's your last year. I took you to school on your first day.|Do you remember? -D'you know what you're going to do?|-No...no. I don't, really. You don't have to decide yet. I'm so glad we've managed|to keep in touch. -After the divorce, I mean.|-Me too. -Oh! I can't believe you're here.|-Nor me. It's Erik. He's coming|the day after tomorrow. {y:i}Daniel?|{y:i}Are you awake? Daniel! We thought we'd drive somewhere...|to Lucca. Want to come along? See you later, then. {y:i}Where's the joy gone? {y:i}Was there ever any? {y:i}I don't know. {y:i}Don't you know? {y:i}If it was joy. {y:i}What was it then? {y:i}Love. {y:i}Love... {y:i}Yes, it was. {y:i}It was awful. I was so happy. {y:i}Maybe I didn't feel joy.|{y:i}But I was so happy... |
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