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Dr Dolittle

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They say the great thing about being a kid is,|it's so easy to pretend.
You can have a conversation|with your dog, or a baseball, or a banana.
Well, what if it wasn't pretend?|What if you could have a conversation?
I mean, not with a baseball or a banana -|that's ridiculous. But with your dog...
I mean, we don't have the same concept|of time that, for instance, people do.
Because you have watches and clocks.
But we do know that you go away. And it's|not like we don't know that you're gone.
So, we don't know exactly how long, no.
Why do dogs sniff each other's butts?
Well, that's just kinda|our way of shaking hands.
If you really wanna get a sense of|who somebody is, you gotta sniff their butt.
Son. Stop talking to the dog.
She doesn't understand a word.
At first his dad thought "Hey, it's harmless."
But as time went on, John crossed that|fine line between harmless and just weird.
Mr Galvin.
- Mr Dolittle.|- This is my son John.
- John, this is your new principal, Mr Galvin.|- Nice to meet you, John.
That's not good.
- Nice to meet you.|- John...!
It was time to put an end to it.
Thank you for coming, Reverend.
Leave this boy, devil man. Go now, Satan.|Take the serpent's voices with you.
I command you to come outta this boy.|Come on outta this boy.
God said it. Come on!
I'm gonna bite ya.
Get off.
Get this dog... get this dog off of me.
She was my best friend.
You'll make some real friends now.
From that day on, John Dolittle|never spoke to animals again.
Someday, you're gonna thank me for this.
And after a while all he could remember
was that deep down|there was something missing.
And, just like his dad wanted, he grew up|to be a regular guy. You know, miserable.
Hey! Hey, get outta here.
Stupid mutt.|A vicious animal's in the hallway.
Did I mention he was a father? A lot like his|own father, who was a father to him before
he himself became...
She's got a giant egg.
- Good morning, Charisse.|- I have changed my name to Paprika.
Paprika? Paprika Dolittle.|That has a nice ring to it.
Not Dolittle. Just Paprika.
Well, I don't understand it.|What is that about?
You know, Salt-n-Pepa? Paprika?
- OK. Paprika. I get it.|- I think Paprika is a beautiful name.
Really? I think Paprika|sounds like a seasoning.
- Dolittle.|- He doesn't take anything we want seriously.
Tell me about it.
I did go over the proposal. It's unbelievable.
- OK, I'm on my way in now.|- Maya, where are you going with that?
- It's for my swan egg I found.|- Looks like it'd be a good omelette.
- It's gonna hatch any day now.|- You'll miss that because you'll be at camp.
I can't go. When a bird hatches, the first thing|it sees, it bonds with it. I want it to be me.
You know, it is not healthy for you|to spend all your time with your experiments.
An experiment for you would be to spend|time with kids your own age at camp,
which is exactly where you're going|this Sunday - camp.
And what about my pet egg?
Here. Here's half a dozen pet eggs|to take with you to camp.
- Stop it.|- I don't know what all the fuss is about.
We went and bought you that thing -|what was that pet rat thing that we bought?
- A guinea pig.|- The thing died. And it's not our fault.
It didn't die.|His name is Rodney and he's in my room.
So why are you bothering me|about the swan...?
- I'm going to work. Goodbye.|- Bye.
Have a nice day, everybody. Nice day.
Johnny. Gene has got some qualms|about the new proposal. Talk to him.
- No room for qualms, Gene.|- No room for qualms.
- Qualms are bad.|- Qualms are bad. Listen to Johnny.
I have qualms I'd like to discuss.
I'm just afraid that if we let a big company|like Calnet take us over,
you know, we're not gonna be us any more.
- You know? We'd be them.|- Let me explain.
"Them" has the best hospitals,|the best labs,
and "them" is gonna pay us|a very big, giant amount of money.
I swear to God that|when I think about the money, I get teary.
- Look at me.|- Those are real tears in his eyes.
So Saturday we're sitting down with the|Calnet people. I'm very excited about it.
Hey, wait. Whoa. Saturday morning? I'm|supposed to take my family to the country.
Well, don't.
You see? It's happening already.
- What?|- You're being forced to neglect your family.
Gene, relax. No such thing.
- Mrs O'Brien?|- Yes.
How are you? Is your tummy still...?
Saturday morning, guys.|Gene, no tank tops, please.
- Mrs Parkus.|- Yes, Doctor?
- Mrs Parkus. Have you eaten shellfish again?|- Just soft-shell crab.
- And what's the middle word?|- Shell.
Rodney's lost. He's not in his cage.
Y'all get going. I'll find your hamster.
- He's a guinea pig.|- Whatever. It's a rodent. I'll find the rodent.
Hey, Nutmeg, let's go.
You better wipe that look off your face.
That's better.
- She's turning into a wise ass.|- She's turning into you.
You know, there's more to this HMO deal|than money. You sell, they own you.
This will be good for us.
I am so tired of that rap. It's always for us.|But sometimes I don't know who "us" is.
What do you mean? Us is us.|Me and you and Maya and Charisse.
Lisa, the more money you have, the more|time you can spend with your family.
Meanwhile you'll just have to make do with|this fancy sports car you always wanted.
- Right here. Beautiful.|- Oh, my God, John. You didn't!
No, I didn't. But I saw how fluttery you got,|so don't tell me you don't care about money.
- "John, you didn't!"|- That's not funny.
So, Daddy, you have to find Rodney.
- I'll put down some of that sticky paper.|- No, don't.
Don't worry. You peel him|right off it and he'll live.
Tell you what. I will turn the house upside|down and I will find Rodney for you. Yes?
- And call me if my egg starts to hatch.|- I will call you if your egg starts to hatch.
Let's go. Let's go.
Get in there. And you stay in there.
Mrs Parkus, do you have a death wish?
But I took it out of the shell.
- Can I talk to you for a minute?|- Sure.
- You couldn't tell what it was without me?|- I knew what it was.
She was frightened. She wanted her doctor.
- It's a beautiful thing.|- That's a beautiful thing?
- How old are you?|- 26.
You spend all your time here, right? Probably|grab your naps curled up in the break room.
Occasional nooky with|one of the interns in the closet.
I have a real life. And I'd appreciate it if you|only called me when it was a real emergency.
If a patient comes in|carrying his own head, call me.
Somebody has a bicycle up their ass,|call me. Understand?
Yeah, I understand.|So, you want me to give her the injection?
I would not be a smart ass right now|if I was you.
Making little smart statements to me|at two o'clock in the morning after I came...
Is there something wrong, Doctor?
No, Mrs Parkus.
There we go.
- OK.|- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Watch where you're going|next time, bonehead.
Let me start by saying thank you very much|for giving up part of your weekend.
We just want to make sure|we can answer any and all of your questions.
We want you to be comfortable|with what we're proposing.
And, speaking of which,|that explains the details of the buyout.
The information you're probably|most interested in is on page four.
Wow, four million dollars.|That's pretty comfortable.
- I'm comfortable. You comfortable, Geno?|- I have some questions.
- No, you don't.|- Yes, I do.
Are we gonna have to cut back on our staff?
Yes. Unfortunately,|we'll have to make some cuts.
No, thank you.
- "No, thank you"?|- Yeah. You offered me some bread.
- I don't want any, thanks.|- So you have no problem with staff cuts?
- You gonna share that bread?|- You just said you didn't want any.
- What is it, some kind of joke?|- Absolutely not.
- Bagel chips!|- Back off or you'll find your nuts in a tree.
Where's the love?
So, John, do you have a problem|with that or not? John?
- Watch your head.|- That's enough meeting for me. I gotta go.
This was a great meeting. Very productive.
Wonderful meeting.|See you guys on Monday.
I'll talk to you later. 'Scuse me.
Johnny's been on call all night,|Mr Calloway. He's very excited.
You gotta move it.
I said let's go. You can't park here.
Oh, jeez. Thanks, man.|OK, I'm moving it. Thank you.
This is ridiculous.
Boy, we got some fresh air here.
That's the thing about the city.|You don't realize it...
- Whoa.|- Whoa.
I should've put on my seat belt.
Easy now. Easy now.|Slow your butt down! Whoa.
Jeez, Louise! That didn't seem too safe.
My back hurt.
This is a dream. I'm dreaming right now.
Hold it. Stop.|You're talking and I understand you.
Those guys in my dorm told me that stuff|was safe. 15 years later, this starts happening.
Let's chill. Let's just chill.
I'm not gonna chill. You gonna chill.
- Are you switching sides?|- All right, you. Come on.
- Hey, I can't drive.|- Out. Let's go.
- Need some help?|- No. We're fine.
- I'm just stretching my legs.|- Ask her if she's got any lettuce.
- Shut your little furry mouth right now.|- Are you sure you're OK?
Yeah. I'm fine.
- That's good.|- Thank you. Thank you so much.
- Goodbye.|- Now what?
- Hey, what are you doing?|- Leave me alone.
- What are you, nuts? I'll roast.|- Stay away or I'll kill you.
Don't leave me out here. It's hot.|Hey, what kind of doc are you?
Hey, doc. This is cruel to animals.
Come on. I'm your friend.
I'm your buddy.
That's it. Back up. Hey, hey, hey, hey.|Don't run over the cage now.
Man, you scared the crap outta me.|See? There it is.
Shut up. Shut up right now.
Say one more word and I'll leave you|here in the road. Understand?
Stop. Slow down.
Shut up. I can hear you up there. Shut up.
I'm getting whisker-whipped up here.
One more word and I'm gonna pull over, let|you out your cage and leave you in the wild.
See how much you talk|with real squirrels kicking in your ass.
Fine, then I'll sing.
- You know it is.|- Turning up the radio.
- I can't hear you. I'm grooving.|- Come on. Let me in.
Hey, why they call me guinea pig anyway?|I'm not Italian and I'm not pork.
Grandpa, did Daddy learn|how to be bossy from you?
Maya, don't talk to your grandfather that way.
He certainly didn't learn it from his mother,|God rest her soul.
One day you'll understand that sometimes|your parents do know what they're doing.
- I made it.|- Daddy, what's Rodney doing on the roof?
I thought the fresh air|would do him some good, honey.
- Hey.|- Are you OK?
I'm fine.
- Hey.|- Lunatic.
Daddy, we still got those BB guns|I used to play with?
- Crazy man.|- BB gun?
- Son, I think you need a vacation.|- And I'm gonna have one too.
This is beautiful. 'Scuse me, honey.|Hey, what's that step called?
Let's get rid of Maya's little rat thing.
He's a guinea pig.|I don't know why you let him get to you.
I goan get gim. I guss... Gugga geggond.
I'm not letting him get to me. Not the least bit.
- I'll be right back.|- Is it all right if I wait in the bed naked?
Time to come out of these drawers, then.
Out here.
- There you are.|- Oh, my God.
That's right. You're the one|who can hear us, aren't you?
No, I'm not hearing anything.|I can't hear you.
The whole woods are talking about you,|you know.
Listen, can you do me a favor?
Can you just take this stick out of my wing?|It's killing me. Can ya, huh?
Don't worry. I won't hurt you.
Much better. Good job. Thank you.
What's happening to me?
You're gonna be|pleasantly surprised, that's what.
- Oh, my goodness. It's an owl.|- Yeah, a big, nasty owl. Let's go in.
- It's beautiful.|- They're very dangerous.
- No, they're not.|- They are. They can poke your eye out.
- Come on!|- Yes, they can. Very easily.
- Take a finger off.|- What you doing with that owl?
Go get into bed.|I'm gonna go check on Charisse and Maya.
- Are you OK?|- I'm fine.
- Are you sure?|- Get to bed. Please?
- OK.|- Five minutes.
Crazy man! You having fun in there.
Can I make a request?|Can I get tuna in oil instead of water?
Who put in that bug-zapper?
I'm nasty.
Yo, looky here. Hey, buddy, my old lady|asks, I been eating trash all night. You dig?
You're on my tail, you idiot.
Got to lose that bug light.|I know you can hear me.
Hey, doc, while you're out, get some salmon.
- Hey, buddy. All night.|- You broke Mr Stinky, I think.
- Keep away!|- John? What are you doing?
- I have to go back to the city, honey.|- Wait! John, why?
- John, you just got here.|- I need a doctor.
I mean, I am a doctor|and I got beeped, so I gotta go.
I'm very sorry, hon. I'll talk to you later.
I love you so much.
- (ringing tone)|- Come on. Pick up the phone. Pick it up!
- Dr Litvack..|- Hello, Sam, how are you? It's John Dolittle!
- John?|- How you doing? So, enjoying your summer?
Jeez, it's really late, John.|It's one o'clock in the morning.
Is it really? Wow! I didn't realize it was|that late. I'm sorry. I'm on my way into town.
I wondered if you wanted to get together|for a drink or a CAT scan or something.
A CAT scan?
Can it wait till morning?
I love you.
No, I have to come right now.
- What's wrong?|- Your face.
- I'll hit you so hard you'll see ten more of me.|- It already smells like ten more of you.
Come on. Bring it on. I'll tear you to pieces.
- You are tempting fate now, buddy.|- Right here, fat boy.
Put it right here. I'll murderise you.
- Stick 'em up, you little rat.|- Hey, come here, you gerbil.
- Hey, what are you looking at?|- Me?
Yeah, you. Who else, buddy?
I'm looking at a couple of greasy rats|fighting over garbage.
Come here and say that,|you four-eyed dufus biped!
I'll get bubonic on your ass. Come here.
What if I take that light bulb,|put it between your butt cheeks
and make a rodent lamp out of you?
Let me tell you something.|I'm a human. I'm a human.
Hey. Sam, how are you? How are you?|Thanks for coming down, Sam. Thanks.
- There's no abnormalities of any kind.|- All right, then.
- Why are you hearing animal voices?|- Exactly.
Why do I think I am if everything is fine?|I tell ya, Sam,
I don't wanna wind up like one of these guys|on the street, talking to myself
and stinking, with my hair all matted.|It's not a cool look.
Have you been under|any unusual stress lately?
Not really. My wife's been giving me|a hard time about Calnet, but that can't be it.
- Small potatoes.|- I did hit a dog the other day.
Oh, my God! A dog?
- Hey, make me feel worse, huh?|- Well, I'm sorry, but a little doggie?
- The dog was fine. It got up and ran off.|- He was injured?
He felt well enough to scream out|"bonehead" before he left.
- John, the dog couldn't have spoken to you.|- Well, Sam, with all due respect...
No, John. The dog did not speak to you.
Maybe you're right.|I'm sorry I woke you up for this.
- Hi, honey.|- Are you all right?
- I'm OK.|- Are you sure?
Really. I just freaked out a little bit.
- What's wrong?|- I got stress I been under.
- From what?|- The merger and the practice.
It's all come to a head, and I'm sorry.
OK, John, just come back out here, OK?
Yeah, I'm on my w...|Yeah, I'm on my way out now.
- I'll see you in a few.|- John?
- 'Scuse me. Where's the stray dogs?|- Right this way.
- Yo!|- What's up?
Hey, buddy.
Over here.
Hey, Mister.|Bet you I won't bite nobody again.
I am Keyser Soze.
I have owners.|They've just been out of town for a few...
A few years.
- Dead dog walking.|- That does not sound good.
When are we gonna get|some decent chow in here?
Hey, thanks a lot. Whoa, that was close, huh?
Hey, hey, you got kids?|Kids, they're the greatest.
- Kids are great(!) What the hell is going on?|- Hey, you understood me.
You don't say.|How come I can understand you talking?
I don't know. Maybe you're just weird.
Hey, shut up. You're a dog. Dogs can't talk.
What do you think barking is?|An involuntary spasm(?)
I don't know what it is.|I know you're not barking.
And I'm going to be with my family.|Good luck to you.
That's it?
It must be that truck exhaust or something.|Oh, no! Everything's going black.
It's not good.
Thank you. Oops.
Is that the biggest ass you've ever seen?
Lie down.
Lie down. Lie down, Chauncy.
- He's deaf.|- I'm not. I just can't stand listening to her.
Just don't fix me, OK? Please. Don't fix me.
I won't look at another female ever, I swear.
Anything but my manhood, man.|Not my manhood, please! I'm...
Yo, baby, what's up?|You looking sweet there, sugar. Is it the...
No. Don't, please.|Please, ju... No, no, no, don't.
Please, I'm begging you.
Come on.
So, what seems to be the problem?
Well, I really think it's pulmonary distress.|And he might have fluid on his lungs.
- Let me guess. You're an MD.|- Yes, I am.
I can always tell when a real doctor comes in.|They always do a little amateur diagnosis.
- Tell him to get away from my butt.|- I did go to veterinary school for five years.
Is it just me,|or is he hovering around my butt a lot?
And unlike an MD,|my patient cannot tell me where it hurts.
Seriously,|could you tell him my butt is great?
So, Doctor, if you don't mind...
Hey, where's he's gonna put that?
Look, look, I was faking it, OK? I feel fine.|Just don't let him stick that...
Let's just have a listen to those lungs.
I'm gonna swallow it.|And I don't mean in my mouth.
Dr Fish, I should pull that out a little bit.
- Don't you touch that.|- It's heading in. It's going south for the winter.
Now, you see? I have to interpret|what the dog is moaning about.
What's to interpret?|There's a thermometer. It's in my butt.
- Take it easy. It'll be over in a minute.|- What?
- Yes.|- Well, there it goes. Butt just swallowed it.
Doctor? I'm just guessing, but I think|you might have just lost your thermometer.
It's gone.
All right, I have... I have three options.
- One: I can manually retrieve it.|- What's he saying?
Options. Retrieve it manually.
- Pass.|- Two: give the dog a laxative and wait it out.
And three: surgically remove it.
- A laxative or surgery.|- Laxative!
Why don't you just give him a laxative?|It'd probably come out later on.
- Never works.|- So what would you suggest?
I'd like to go in manually.
- Here we go.|- Oh, my Lord!
This is not good. Lassie go home!
Why on earth would a guy|go into a line of work like that?
- All right. That's it for you. Hit the road.|- What? But I'm your pet.
You are not my pet. If I were gonna get a pet,|I wouldn't get one as annoying as you. Go.
Hey, don't worry about it.|You sprung me from the joint. I'm thankful.
- Yeah. Just go.|- Don't worry about me.
I'll just be going down the road,|disappearing without a trace.
I hope a car doesn't hit me.|Oh, well, one less dog.
- Dolittle.|- Hi, Daddy.
- Hey, baby. How you doing?|- Am I gonna see you before I go to camp?
I'm really working on it.
Get outta here.
- Daddy, is that a dog?|- Yeah, but it's a...
- Mommy, guess what. Daddy got me a dog.|- No! Daddy didn't...
Hey. Is that what you've|been up to, you sneak?
You caught me.
What? I have allergies.
Yeah, I guess we'll see you at camp.
Grandpa, Daddy got me a dog.|He got me a dog.
Can you believe it? My own dog.
- They're gonna want to know your name.|- I don't have one.
- We'll have to think of one.|- Let me see.
A little girl once called me|"Please, Mommy, not him." How 'bout that?
Nah, that's not gonna work.|You got red hair. How 'bout Lucy?
Yes, I like that. Lucy. Just one problem.
- I'm a guy.|- Really? How 'bout Lucky?
Perfect. Lucky, yes. "Hi, I'm Lucky."
Hey, it works on two levels. I love it.
- That's my daughter. Be nice.|- Oh, you got me a dog. Oh, he's adorable.
Oh, you're such a cute dog.
- What's his name?|- Lucky.
- Does he do any tricks?|- He does a neat trick with a thermometer.
- Hey, baby.|- Hey, baby.
- You got her a dog.|- Yeah, well, I got us a dog.
Are you OK?
Come on, let's get you all set up here.
- Come on, Maya.|- Look at this nice rabbit on your door.
This is nice.
- Yeah!|- What a fun cabin.
You smell the air here?
What a wonderful place.|What a wonderful camp.
Daddy, can I go home with you and Lucky?
Hey, Maya. Look, here's the deal.
You stay here for a while,|have a great time, then Lucky's all yours.
Three weeks is a long time.|Can't I go home with...
No. No camp, no dog.
- OK, I'll stay.|- You're gonna have a great time.
When you get older you're gonna thank me,|because you'll have so many friends. You'll see.
You'll see.
- What's the matter with you?|- Everything's going by so fast.
Don't you dare throw up in this car.|What are you looking at?
The lines on the road.|They're just whipping by.
Lines. Line, line, line, line, line, line.
Don't focus on something so close.|Don't look at the lines.
Tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree.
Tree, tree, tree.
Sir, could you just...
Who knew?
And not only could he understand me,|but it turns out he's a doctor.
Look. Not even a scar.
And it hurt so bad. I don't know|what I would have done without him.
- Whoo-hoo!|- Yup.
Oh, what a day.
You have knots all over the place.
I'm all messed up. I'm falling apart.
- How's that feel?|- Mrs Dolittle!
Yeah, baby!
- Excuse me one second.|- OK.
Excuse me just one second.
- Come on. Let's go.|- What a gyp.
You mind if I have a little privacy, please?
Oh, yeah, but it's fine|when people watch us do it, huh?
Fine to turn on the garden hose.
Hey, you want a tip on a good position?
- You were barking.|- Well, I'm excited.
When I get excited I make all kinds of sounds.
- You never barked before.|- Oh.
- Yoo-hoo, doc. We got trouble here.|- Let's go.
Hey! No. You take the ducks.|I'll take the goat.
All right. I'll get the ducks.
What's going on?
Mark just showed up. So I'm gonna have to|go over the proposal. We have to...
- Come on!|- Don't do that.
Lucky wants me to take him for a walk.|So I gotta do that, then I gotta deal with Mark.
Great. I'll be the one cooking breakfast.
Hey, Mark! How you doing?
You're trying to destroy my life, all of you.|Aren't you?
Freeze! Stop right there. Don't you move.
- What are you doing in the hallway?|- Going to the bathroom. What are you doing?
I'm p-p-patrolling the hallways. I'm the father.|I make sure it's safe while you're asleep.
I patrol these halls.|You wait. Don't you move.
The reason you're up this time of night is because|you spend too much time drinking liquids.
You're old enough to be able to hold it in.|So go on back to bed.
But, Dad, I have to go.
Lucky's in the bathroom right now.
The dog is using the bathroom?
Let me make sure he put the seat down.|Then it's your turn, OK? Don't you move.
- You heard of knocking?|- Not one quack. Not one quack.
Here's the toilet. It's all down|like y'all like it, ready for you.
No little sprinklets on it or anything.|It's waiting for you to come and do your thing.
- Dad, I don't need adult supervision.|- OK.
- Somebody get this thing off me.|- Come here.
Get this thing off... Whoa.
Take it easy.
- Night, Dad.|- Night, honey.
Yeah, yeah.
OK, let's go.|See what you almost made happen?
What I almost made happen? What did I do?
- Beep, beep! We're the sheep.|- Oh, no.
- Not these clones.|- Where you going?
- Move aside.|- Am I late?
- Good evening, Doctor.|- Oh, no, no.
You gonna have to take your fat ass back...|I don't...
- Oh, my God! What a zoo.|- Obviously not a kosher establishment.
- Everybody, just come in...|- Where are the chicks? I'm cool.
Landing! Make way.
Very well appointed sty.
- What's going on?|- Hey, there's the guy.
I don't know. You know, tell a friend.
Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, doc.
Our butts hurt.
OK, let's do this.
- Watch your droppings.|- This is the house of love.
East coast, west coast, let's unite!|Is Brooklyn in the house?
This should take care of the inflammation.|But who'll wipe it on for you?
Does Brad Pitt need a goat?
Don't be ashamed.|It happens to most men occasionally.
- You're probably under a lot of pressure.|- He's not.
He's not interested because I'm just a pigeon.
- But...|- He's a self-hating pigeon.
- That is not true.|- Ask him what he does all day.
- What do...|- I sit in a tree by myself.
He's too good to eat with the rest of us|when the old people feed us in the park.
- Can I speak?|- The way he stares at a robin's breast...
- It's enough to make you sick.|- I happen to be attracted to orange breasts.
You're not a robin. Or a dove or a hawk.|You're a pigeon and I'm a pigeon.
I'm sorry. She sits on that nest all day long,|and she just gets a little crazy.
May I ask you something? If I turn this way,|don't I look a little like a blue jay?
Poor equilibrium may mean an ear infection.
- Or it may be due to this.|- I'm a social drinker. Very social.
Stand up. Stand up.
- Touch your nose and raise your left foot.|- Nose. Leg.
I don't know. I think you're wasted.
- I want to see you walk this line.|- Oh, my goodness.
You have a drinking problem.|I suggest that you stop drinking.
- I think you may be an alcoholic.|- Really?
- Nobody likes a drunk monkey.|- Sorry.
You're suffering from|obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Whenever you want the ball,|think about something else.
- Just throw the ball.|- Can you relax your mind?
This is the way it works. You're the person.|You throw the ball. I'm the dog. I get it.
- Look at you going!|- I'll pee on your carpet.
- It's very irritating, this ball thing.|- Shut up and throw it.
Am I alone here? Am I by myself?|Am I in another universe?
- Throw the damn ball.|- He threw the ball. He threw the ball.
I'll get it. Hold on. I'll get it, I'll get it.
I love you. I love you. You threw the ball.
You can't save 'em all, Hasselhoff.
'Ey, is there a doctor in the house?
Up here.
Doc, they're gonna kick me off the force.|I'm as blind as a bat.
- Can you help me?|- Just give me a minute, all right?
- All right.|- Keep it quiet.
Tell me what you think of these.
Holy road apples! I can see!|No desk job for me.
- Thanks a million.|- You are most welcome.
This is gonna be great. I'll make lieutenant.|Nothing can stop me. Look, a doughnut shop.
Wow, what a night. All those animals.
And I bet that's just the tip of the iceberg.|When word gets around...
- Doctor, you must help us, quick.|- What happened?
It is all my fault.|I should not have let him out.
- Calm down.|- The circus tiger, he will jump.
- I told you to stop drinking.|- Drinking. I give it up.
- That's better. Let's go.|- Wait for me. You don't know where it is.
And now, on the day I end it all,
I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady|my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver.
I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing.|It's too late for you. You're a short...
Hey, get outta there.|You're in my landing space.
- Man!|- See if you land on your feet, road kill.
Why don't you bloodsucking vermin|take a break?
- Blood sucking!|- Look out below.
- Hey, Lucky, come on.|- Come on what?
- Come on. We gotta go up there.|- Are you crazy? That's a tiger.
- I'm jumping now. Don't try and stop me.|- Will you come on?
Coming right up.|One order of man, side of dog.
I need a drink.
Goodbye, cruel world.
Oh, no, I just remembered.|I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon.
One of the few animals that enjoys that stuff.
- Hi.|- Who are you?
- I'm Dolittle.|- Yeah, well, get outta here.
- I'm in a lot of pain and I'm gonna jump.|- Whoa, take it easy now.
- I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help.|- I don't need a doctor. I need a miracle.
I'm a train wreck. I have headaches, nausea...|The worst thing is this double vision.
What's the use?|It's not like anybody cares about tigers.
Now stop, you're being silly.|There have been lots of loveable tigers.
Yeah? Name one.
How about Tony?
- Tony the cereal tiger?|- I didn't hear you come up with anything.
Remember that song|"Eye of the Tiger" from Rocky Ill?
That one from Rocky Ill, when Rocky|was fighting Mr T, couldn't beat Mr T,
Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger",
he went back and beat the snot out of Mr T|because of that song. It moved him inside.
Not "Eye of the Moose", not "Eye of the Bull".|"Eye of the Tiger".
- That's it. I'm jumping.|- No, no, don't.
Jump, you big pussy. I'll catch ya - not!
Didn't I say take a break?
All right, doc. Then you jump!
- Why do you want to help me?|- Because I'm the only one who can.
Maybe it's my destiny. And maybe it's yours|to be the one tiger everybody remembers.
- Why else would I be here talking to you?|- Because the monkey can't keep his mouth shut.
- Are you gonna let me help?|- What if you can't?
- If I can't help, you can eat me and Lucky.|- Yeah, or just him.
- Really? Will you take me back to the circus?|- I will take you back to the circus.
All right. But don't think|I wasn't gonna jump, because I was.
Hope you're a better doctor|than you are a singer.
Good job, doc. Although seeing|a tiger jump five stories would've been cool.
I heard that.
Hey, Dr D. Three o'clock, Calnet. Meeting to|go over the agreement. You gonna be there?
You're not gonna believe what I got for us.|Corporate cars - every two years.
Why aren't you paying attention to me?
Atlas of Feline Anatomy for Veterinarians.|But, John, we treat humans.
Hey, Mark, sit down a second. Just a minute.
- OK.|- Do you remember when we started out?
We had crummy offices in the worst|neighborhood and got paid almost nothing.
- I've blocked it out.|- Really?
- I guess so, yeah.|- Those were the most exciting times to me.
It was like, you felt like|you were making a difference, you know?
And last night I had to treat some...|some emergencies.
And I was challenged, and it was difficult,
and I got the same kind of rush|I had back then.
I felt like I was doing something,|like I was making a difference.
And I started thinking that here I'm not giving|my patients the right amount of attention.
Do me a favor. Don't confide in me.|I'm utterly useless. I'm very self-absorbed.
Let's get Geno.
Hey, Geno?
You did your job just by pretending|you were listening. It was very helpful.
- Any time.|- OK.
- Calnet, three o'clock.|- Three o'clock sharp.
- This is Dr Fish.|- The author of Feline Illnesses and Diseases?
Yes it is. You've read my book?
Have I read your book? I sleep with|your book next to my bed. It's my bible.
Well, some people consider it|the definitive work on cats, but
bible? I... I... I...
Well, no, I can... I can see your point.
Dr Fish, I have a very very sick,|very very big cat.
I'm concerned it might be serious|because his vision's impaired.
And he seems to be in a lot of pain.
Unfortunately,|if it is in the head there's only two options.
One is surgery|and the other is putting it down.
I have no idea how I'm gonna do this.
- I'm gonna try to take care of you. I promise.|- Just hurry back.
Every minute you're gone|I'm one minute closer to death.
I just might hang myself by my underpants.
I can get underpants.
Not really.
- He blew off the Calloway meeting.|- I don't care about that.
I need to speak with John.|You wouldn't believe what's going on here.
You gotta help me. He's dead.|You gotta help me.
- He's not dead.|- Oh, no, no, don't go, old buddy, old pal.
- You gotta help him.|- Really? Why's that?
Because... because... because you're the man.|You're the man!
Oh? I thought I was the guy|you wanted to get bubonic with.
- I'm going towards the light now.|- I was kidding. We were riffing.
Serious? Come on!
Goodbye, world. I smell flowers.
I'm begging you. Don't let him die.|Don't let my buddy go.
I'm sinking fast.
- John...! Where have you been?|- Hi.
- What?|- The meeting.
I had an emergency. Excuse me. Sorry.
Excuse you!
- Hang in there, brother.|- Does it hurt when I do this?
- It ain't no day at the dump.|- If he dies
- I don't know what I'll do.|- He'll eat me.
Only out of respect.
Be quiet. I can't hear while you're talking.
- Sorry, doc.|- John.
He said he was suffering|from abdominal cramps.
"He said"?
I wouldn't be working on this rat|unless it was an emergency. Take a look.
- What happened?|- He's gone into arrest. I don't feel a pulse.
- Oh, my God, he's a goner.|- He's not breathing.
- Johnny.|- Maybe we should shock him, huh?
- I don't know.|- The paddles'll be too big. He needs CPR.
- You know how to do CPR?|- I can't even spell it.
- OK.|- I can't even look. Doc, no.
- No, Johnny.|- For Chris sakes.
You didn't even wine him or dine him, doc.|I think my friend would rather die.
No tongue, doc.
- Come on. I got no pulse.|- Doc, do something.
- John...|- Not now.
- Honey...|- Lisa, please!
I'm hungry.
It's a false alarm. There's nothing wrong|with him. He just has gas.
- Whoa, you're telling me!|- He just had gas.
You're back.|I don't care if you stink. I love ya, pal.
Thanks a lot, little buddy. I felt your presence.
Lisa, stop looking at me like that.
John Dolittle.
Who'd have ever thought|you would end up in a mental institution?
Number one in our medical school class.
Not that I'm jealous, John.|Someone had to finish first.
And someone had to finish last too.
So, John. You talk to animals now, do ya?
Would you like to tell me about it?|Or would you rather tell Bettelheim?
- I don't need to talk to your cat, Blain.|- Why? Do you think he'd talk back to you?
- You know, he just might.|- And what would he say?
I'd say you were a butt head.
I really like this cat.
He's recommending you stay|a minimum often days.
You really think I need to be here|for that long?
You said that you can talk to animals.
You know, I can really hear 'em.
I can.
You gotta believe me.
I can't.
Here you go. Your medicine.
OK, then.
I can get you anything you need.|Saucers, coasters...
Go away.
If you have any extra medication|I could use it.
You're not following me, are you? Whoa.
- Now, what is all this?|- This is to prove to me and the world
that you can actually talk to animals.
Now, the orang-utan is attached to|this brain-wave monitor.
Normally he responds to|visual stimulation, but
since you have got the gift of gab, you won't|need pictures to make him respond, will ya?
Get acquainted, John.
OK, listen. I need your help. I need you|to make that needle over there move,
because if you don't|they'll make me stay here for ever. OK?
So just make the little needle jump.
Come on.
I know you can hear me now, so don't play.|This is very serious right now.
I guess he's just not a big talker, John.
Look, give me a break. Say something, please.
Please escort Dr Dolittle back to his room.
Wait. You speak Spanish?
That's why he couldn't understand.|He's from south of the border.
- Remove him. Go.|- Turn that machine back on.
I'm worried, John.
Who are you trying to fool?|You're worrying about Calnet.
John I admit it.
I want the money. I'm not ashamed of that.
Look, here's what I want you to do for me.
Just stop barking and chirping for one day.
If you do, I'm pretty sure|you can get out of here.
And that'd be a really good idea,
because Calloway said if you're not back|for Friday's press conference, the deal's off.
If you would do that for me, Johnny,|I'll buy you a rat farm.
And you can... you can burp and fart|the little rats till you pass out.
But let's just get it signed. OK, my shot.
Pick it up. Pick the phone up, please.
Hi. We're not here. Leave a message.
Hey. Hi, it's me.
I'm really starting to miss you guys.
I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing here too.
Maybe you were right.|Maybe it was all my imagination.
- Hey, honey, feeling better?|- Who's this?
I'll give you a hint. I'm cute, I'm furry|and I make 500 babies a year.
Rodney. Get back in your cage.
What's up with that trap behind the fridge?|You trying to kill me?
Never mind that.|Get your little furry ass back in your cage.
Now. I don't want your droppings on...
My son Rodney.|Little hairy boy, sleeps in the cage.
I have to keep him in the cage|because he has hygiene problems.
He's not coming back.
I can't believe I fell for it.
- Oh, boy, I'm getting dizzy.|- Man, you don't look so good.
Look who's talking!|What do the three of you know?
I'm in bad shape.
My head!
What kind of a name is Edfora horse?
What kind of a name is Wilburfora man?
Peanut butter. That's how they|got the horse to move his lips.
- In the back of the mouth.|- I disagree, sir.
- Side. The side.|- Look, look. See his jaw?
- See? See?|- The oesophagus, yes.
- He's not talking. That's an act.|- No, no, no.
Finish what you were talking about.
- No, he's...|- Full teeth. Full teeth.
Doc. Out here.
Doc. Hey, over here.
What are you doing here?
I crossed three freeways to rescue you,|and all I get is "What are you doing here?"
- This isn't a prison. It's a clinic.|- The tiger's in bad shape.
The tiger? Listen, forget the tiger.
I had a perfect life until you came along|and started talking to me.
Now I'm sitting here in a robe|discussing Mr Ed with these guys.
You've ruined my life enough. Just go away.
Just get outta here, please. This is crazy.
I get it.|Now it's crazy to want to save a tiger's life.
Listen, tigers die every day.|It's called nature.
Let me tell you a little about nature.|I'm a dog, and I act like a dog.
I don't try to be anybody else.|We are who we are.
And you are a doctor who can talk to animals.|That's who you are.
- That is not who I am.|- Stop lying to yourself.
Didn't I tell you to get outta here?|Go. Get outta here.
- Get outta here.|- Fine.
- Stop talking to me.|- With pleasure.
You better not come back.
- Bonehead.|- That's all of you.
Leave me alone. Stop talking to me.
Ruined his life. That's a laugh.
- OK, Blain, look. I wanna go home.|- So soon? And miss the field trip to the zoo?
Listen.|You've hated me since medical school,
but we are both adults now.|Let's put that behind us.
We both have families.|I want to get back to mine. How do I do that?
Well, it's very simple.|Stop talking to animals, John.
All right, listen.|You're right. I made a mistake.
Maybe it was a case of temporary insanity,|but it's over. I don't talk to animals any more.
I'm not convinced.|We'll talk again in a month or so, OK?
Tell you what, Blain.|You sign my release form
and I won't tell our fellow-doctor friends|about that pink tutu you keep in your closet.
With the thong back.
- Daddy's home.|- Daddy? Hey, Daddy.
- Hey, beautiful, how are you?|- Oh, I'm fine.
- Hey, baby.|- Wh...?
- Why didn't you call me?|- I wanted to surprise you.
- Hey, why aren't you in camp, young lady?|- Mom brought her home.
I didn't fit in.
You're just gonna have to try a little harder|next year. Give me a hug. I missed you.
- Still Daddy's baby, huh?|- Honey?
Do they know that you left?
No, I escaped. Of course they know I left.|I'm better. Time to spend some time with you.
Are you not talking to me?
- You're sure you're OK?|- Yeah, I'm fine.
Because I got scared,|wondering when you were coming home.
Well, I am back and I'm fine, and everything's|gonna be just like it was in the old days.
I know what you're doing. Two can play at|that game. I don't have to listen to you either.
I was thinking maybe|we should get rid of that dog.
Coming home empty-handed...! Don't tell me|there wasn't a gift shop at the loony bin.
Diane, please call down to Radiology|and get me the x-rays on Mr Galvin.
Also, see if Mrs Rivers|can switch her appointment to 3.15.
- I may need Gene for a consultation.|- Yes, Doctor.
Gene can you check your schedule|and see if you can do a 3.15 consult?
- Sure.|- Good. And Mark.
- Did you get back the tests on Mr Freeman?|- I think they're coming in this afternoon.
Good. Keep me informed, OK?
Hey, doc, do you think|I should get my beak done?
Tell Maintenance we need to put some|permanent screens up, set some traps.
This is a doctor's office, not a zoo.
He's back. We're gonna be rich.
This is where he lives,|and this is where he exercises.
- Does he do aerobics?|- Yeah, the guinea pig aerobics.
Let's get this show on the road. Put that thing|away. You're gonna get your dress dirty.
Pop, help out. I can't be late for this.
- But Rodney wants to come.|- Rodney cannot come.
This is a press conference for people.|No animals allowed.
- Why don't you tell him? He'll listen to you.|- No, I am not going to tell him.
Help out.
Come on, Pop.
- Can I tell you a secret?|- Yes.
When Mommy told me what happened|to Daddy, I wasn't afraid - I was happy.
Because I believed|that he can talk to animals.
Because I wanted Dad to be weird. Like me.
- Is that wrong?|- No. No, it's not wrong.
It's just, sometimes|I don't think he likes me much.
Honey, he loves you.
I know he loves me. I don't think he likes me.
And I really want him to.
I'm gonna try to do things his way.
And stop doing these stupid experiments.
No, Maya.
Don't stop your experiments.
Sometimes daddies are the ones|who need to change.
- Let me park this car.|- All right. Come on, girls. Let's go.
Maya. Let me talk to you a second.
- We'll be in there in a second.|- OK.
Hey, listen.
I don't think your egg is a stupid idea.|It's kinda cool.
- You do?|- Yes.
You have curiosity and ideas,|and that's what makes you special.
- You mean weird.|- I didn't say weird. I said special.
Being weird's not so bad. A lot of the greatest|people in history were considered weird.
- Like who?|- Lots of people. Albert Einstein.
With his crazy hair, people thought he was|weird. A guy that smart was weird to people.
Muhammad Ali, when he said what round|he was gonna knock out people in
and screamed "I'm the greatest!"|People thought that was super-weird.
- And Joan of rc, she heard voices.|- Like you, Daddy?
Yeah, like me.
Listen, this is what I'm trying to tell you.|No matter what happens, you be who you are.
And you love who you are.
Because I love you.
Give me a kiss.
- You know, you're a great person.|- Oh, thank you.
And a weird one too.
- See you inside.|- OK.
That was beautiful, man.
- Lucky! What are you doing here?|- Do you have a tissue?
Yes, I do.|Right in the back in that pocket over there.
Listen. I'm sorry I ignored you|back at the house.
You were the one who said|"Be who you are." You were right.
Put me back in touch with the part of me|that I'd forgotten years ago, Lucky.
Can you take it easy?|I'm trying to say something.
- Well, then just say it.|- I'm trying to say it.
- What do you think I'm trying to say?|- "I love you, Lucky."
- That's not what I'm trying to say.|- Yes, it is.
That is not what I'm trying to tell you.
Come on. Deep down inside|that's exactly what you want to say.
Come on, now.|You'll feel a lot better. Come on.
Let it out. Go ahead. You know it. I know it.
- I love you.|- You love me?
I'm gonna need another tissue.
- Where are we off to?|- We are off to ruin my life.
Wake up!
Hey, doc. You came back.
You need help. I wanna take you for tests.
- Tests? That's good, right? Tests?|- Yeah. Come on.
I hate these stairs.
Take good care of him, doc. He's our star.
He'll be OK.
- Great. More steps.|- Come on. Get in.
Wait a minute. The dog gets to ride up front?
- Stop looking at me like I'm a side dish.|- Don't flatter yourself.
- Now, you two guys shut up. Quiet.|- Hey, look. Jerry.
- Can you keep your voice down?|- He's a big fan.
Hey, Jerry. How you doing, dude?|Just going for some tests.
I'm fine! "The tiger's fine." I'm sick.
- I told you they'd get away.|- No thanks to you.
No? Three armed guards|versus a pigeon - that's a fair fight?
He's not at home and he's not|answering his pager. I'm worried.
- Mom.|- Yes?
Guess who Maya brought to the party.
Rodney. Rodney, there you are.
- Man...|- Where the hell is Dolittle?
You know, I just talked to him. He stopped|at an orphanage to take care of a sick child.
That is so John. It's so typical of the man.|He just cares.
Weller. Take your lips off my butt|long enough to hear what I'm going to say.
If Dolittle's not here in ten minutes,
- I'm pulling the plug.|- You won't have to.
He's gonna be here in five minutes.
- I hope so.|- He will be. He'll be here in five minutes.
Where's the kitchen at? I gotta get in here.|Where's the food?
- Rodney.|- She's coming to get me.
- Who's Rodney?|- Sorry.
This ain't no kitchen. Smell bad.|Must be cooking chitlins.
Now what's this for?
Somebody help me.
I can't swim.
Aaaggghhh yourself!
Where you going? Get me outta here.
Somebody get the license plate number.|I have just been violated.
- This is where you work?|- Come on.
Don't throw that away. That's|the marrow - it's the best part of the bone.
- Look who's here.|- Well, if it isn't Siegfried and Roy!
- Lucky, keep an eye out. You rats help him.|- We don't work for you.
- Give me a break. I saved your life.|- That's yesterday's news.
You want gratitude, get a hamster.
"Get a hamster." You kill me!
I gotta get help.
Yeah, I got a plate ID on the cat napper.
Do something.
The heart of a hawk.|The heart of a hawk.
- A chicken hawk|- The heart of a hawk.
That feels good.
I enjoy my personal relationships|with my patients.
- You'll get over that.|- I just might not.
I'm joking. Gene, I'm...
This is the kind of guy who would rather be|trudging through the snow with a black bag
- making house calls.|- Exactly.
- That hurt me.|- Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry.
- I may have broken my nose.|- I think I broke his nose.
- Is it broken?|- Let me check.
Oh, my God! I broke his nose.
- Let me take him to X-ray.|- I'm blacking out.
Thaaaat feeeeels goooood!
- This really hurts. I think...|- Of course it hurts.
You walked right into a door.
Oh, God, I'm bleeding.
I'm bleeding.|Do we have any morphine in the vault?
- Hey, guys.|- John.
- What happened to you?|- I walked into a door.
- I crushed his septum.|- Really?
Look, this is not really a good time.|I'm kinda
- here with somebody.|- Oh, my God.
I-I-I do not approve.|Lisa is a wonderful woman!
- Jesus.|- It's OK.
- It's a frigging tiger.|- He won't hurt you.
- I know him.|- Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Oh, my goodness. I have to sit.
Here's what we do. We tell Johnny|we're gonna fix his little tiger up
after he signs. OK?
Then we'll have him committed.|It's perfect! That way we get our money.
It's shifted to the left.|So there's something applying pressure to it.
You can't operate on a tiger.|Especially as you don't know the symptoms.
- Double vision and headaches. He told me.|- You'll wind up back at Hammersmith's.
I've been supportive,
but if you expect me to believe|that a tiger told you his symptoms,
I might have to draw the line.
You have to do something. Quick.
We gotta get him into OR fast.|It's the only chance he's got.
What about the press conference?
20 bucks says this guy never shows.
Watch your back.|Trying to get to the operating room.
- Outta the way, please.|- Clear a spot. We have an emergency here.
Clear the way, please. Coming through.
- There you are. Let's do this.|- Mr Calloway, Mark broke his nose.
- The nose can wait. The press is waiting.|- I-I-I-I...
- We're announcing.|- I really don't know if we should...
- Where were you?|- I'll explain.
Thank you all for coming,|and thank you all for being so patient.
As you all know, the practice of medicine|and the business of medicine
have been undergoing|very big changes in this country.
We at Calnet strive to be|at the forefront of these changes.
That is why I'm proud to announce|the acquisition of...
This is the life! Hot wings, nuts.|I love nuts.
Oh, my! Live prey.
- That's a big cat!|- It's all right. It's OK.
It's OK. He's not gonna hurt anybody.
He's just a very, very sick tiger.
You'd better have a rational|explanation for all this.
Mr Calloway, I don't have a rational|explanation. I wish I did, but I don't.
Right now I got a sick tiger on my hands. I'm|gonna try to save it. That's all that matters.
Dolittle, you go through with this...
So if you'll excuse me...
- Stupid cat. Ruined the party.|- Shut up.
What do you mean, shut up?|I was gonna do karaoke!
What the hell is this?
- No more bacon.|- One, two, three, four.
You ain't getting through this door.
Make love, not war.
Fur is murder. Free Willy.
Pigs go home. Pigs go home. Pigs go home.
No, no, not you. The police.
Wow, this is great.
- Are you OK?|- The man's coming down hard, but
- we're holding strong.|- I got such a chill.
I'm gonna give you a local.|It's not gonna hurt.
It'll feel like a little bee sting.
A little pressure. That's about it.
OK? Here I come.
There you go.
He can't do this.
- He still thinks he can talk to animals.|- He can, Lisa. He can talk to animals.
It all started when he was a kid.|I didn't know what to do.
- What are you saying, Dad?|- I thought it was a handicap,
but it's a gift, Lisa.
Don't you believe it? Look. See for yourself.
I need you to stay alert and tell me if you feel|numbness in your paws or on your right side.
Have you ever done this operation before?
Yeah, once in medical school.
But it was to a cadaver.
My professor told me that had my patient|not been dead, he would have lived.
Very comforting, doc.
It's like Noah's ark out here.|It truly is a remarkable sight.
This collection of animals has prevented San|Francisco's finest from entering the building.
Which is apparently|where the stolen tiger is being held.
OK, we're open. Gene, irrigate, please.
All right, Jake, I need you to be alert.|Tell me if you feel anything at all.
- Can you feel anything now?|- No.
Just the same old pain.
How about now?|You feeling any numbness at all?
I... I can't. I don't know!
Just relax and listen to|the sound of my voice, OK?
- I'm scared.|- Don't be scared. I'm not gonna let you go.
- What did he say?|- He said he's a little scared.
Pulse is dropping fast.
His dura is bulging.|There's too much pressure.
- My left side went numb.|- Pulse still dropping.
All right. Hey, you just hang in there,|OK, Jacob? Hang in there for me.
- OK, doc.|- It's a blood clot. It has to be.
All I gotta do is find it. We're too close|to his motor strip. More suction, Gene.
- We're losing him. We gotta relieve pressure.|- Come on, Jake.
- Don't let go yet. We're almost there.|- I can feel it.
- There.|- There?
OK. OK, here we go.
It's gone. The pain is gone.
Blood pressure stabilising.
It's gone. It's really gone.
He's OK.
- Thank you.|- You are very welcome.
You just lay back and relax. We're gonna|have you back in the center ring in no time.
Why'd you do that?
If he tries to eat me again, I'm gonna|smack that moustache off your face.
He's a lunatic.|He has a history of mental illness.
- He's frankly...|- He's the most
- remarkable surgeon I have ever seen.|- He's here to stay.
- He is the straw that stirs the drink.|- I want exclusive rights to him.
He's dynamic, caring. I can't imagine...
- What's the matter?|- Dolittle. Wonderful work.
- Bravo. Bravo, Johnny. I'm so inspired.|- Welcome aboard.
- I feel like I bought a winning franchise.|- Yeah.
You haven't bought anything.|We're not for sale.
Look. We don't need these namby-pamby|wacko freaks. It's you and me,
- straight to the top.|- You want pigeon? You'll get pigeon.
- Are ya happy now?|- I'm right behind ya.
Hey. Somebody come here.
I think we got birth here.
Hey, hey! Somebody!|I see some shaking in that egg.
I see shaking in the egg.
Hey, how's it going, McGruff?
You know what? A Tic Tac wouldn't kill you.
Hey, girl, get up. We got birth coming.
A swan egg. This is gonna be great.
- Come on, girl.|- One question. What is a swan?
- That's my egg hatching.|- OK, just breathe.
Yeah, here it come, the magic moment.
Oh, no. Just like Jurassic Park.|It's gonna kill us.
My swan egg's hatching. It's hatching. It...
Good lord, doc. What on earth is that?
That would be Maya's|brand-new baby alligator.
- Momma?|- Momma? I'm not your momma.
- Momma?|- Oh, no, don't look at me.
Although there was that one time|I got drunk in the Everglades...
Doc, wait up.
So, you're gonna treat humans and animals.|I love it.
It's no big thing. We're all basically the same.
My thoughts exactly. First I want to|move my bowl up on the dining-room table.
Second, no more dog food.|That stuff's just gross.
I want my own room, with a TV.|Basic cable will be fine.
I hate stories with happy endings.
- Yoo-hoo.|- What?
- I didn't say nothing.|- Then who...?
Run for your lives.|Oh, my God. I don't wanna die.
Hang a left. No, hang a right.
- Legs, do your thing. Outta my way.|- This circle of life really stinks.
Subtitles by Visiontext
DC Sniper 23 Days of Fear
D A R Y L 1985
Daddy Day Care
Daffy Duck - Drip Along Daffy (1951)
Daffy Duck - Duck Amuck (1953)
Daffy Duck - Duck Dodgers in the 245 Century (1953)
Daffy Duck and Porky - Boobs in the Woods (1950)
Daffy Duck and Porky - Daffy Duck Hunt (1949)
Daffy Duck and Porky - Deduce You Say (1956)
Daffy Duck and Porky - Golden Yeggs (1950)
Daffy Duck and Porky - The Ducksters (1950)
Daffy Duck and Porky - Yankee Doodle Daffy (1943)
Daffy Duck and Sylvester - The Scarlet Pumpernickel (1950)
Damien Omen II
Damnation (1988) CD1
Damnation (1988) CD2
Damnation de Faust La CD1
Damnation de Faust La CD2
Dance With Me
Dancer in the Dark (2001) CD1
Dancer in the Dark (2001) CD2
Dances With Wolves (Extended Cut) 1990 CD1
Dances With Wolves (Extended Cut) 1990 CD2
Dances With Wolves (Extended Cut) 1990 CD3
Dances With Wolves 1990 CD1
Dances With Wolves 1990 CD2
Dangerous Beauty
Dangerous Minds
Dantes Peak 1997
Dark Angel 1x15 Haven
Dark Angel 1x16 Shorties In Love
Dark Angel 1x17 Pollo Loco
Dark Angel 1x18 I Am I Am A Camera
Dark Angel 1x19 Hit A Sista Back
Dark Angel 1x20 Meow
Dark Angel 1x21 And Jesus Bought A Casserole
Dark Blue
Dark Blue World (2001)
Dark City
Dark Passage
Dark Water
Dark Wolf
Dark Woods (2003)
Darkness 2002 CD1
Darkness 2002 CD2
Darling 1965 CD1
Darling 1965 CD2
Das Boot - The Directors Cut
Dauria 1971 - Part 1 23976fps
Dauria 1971 - Part 2 23976fps
David Copperfield - Illusion CD1
David Copperfield - Illusion CD2
Dawn Of The Dead (2004)
Dawns Here Are Quiet The CD1
Dawns Here Are Quiet The CD2
Day A (2001)
Day After The 1983 23976fps
Day For Night CD1
Day For Night CD2
Day I Became A Woman The 2000 CD1
Day I Became A Woman The 2000 CD2
Day The World Ended The
Day after tomorrow The
Day of The Jackal [1973] CD1
Day of The Jackal [1973] CD2
Day the Earth Stood Still The
Days Of Heaven
Days Of Wine And Roses 1962 CD1
Days Of Wine And Roses 1962 CD2
Days of Thunder
De LAmour
De Vierde Man (23976)
Dead End 2003
Dead Friend
Dead Men Dont Wear Plaid (1982)
Dead Or Alive 2
Dead Presidents CD1
Dead Presidents CD2
Dead Reckoning
Dead Ringers
Dead Zone The
Dead again (1991)
Dead again (1991) Commentary
Dead man walking 1995 CD1
Dead man walking 1995 CD2
Dead or alive
Dear Diary 1994
Death To Smoochy
Death Warrant
Death Wish
Death in Venice 1971
Deathwatch 2002
Debut The
Decalage Horaire
Decalogue 06 1988
Decalogue 07 1988
Decalogue 08 1988
Decalogue 09 1988
Decalogue 10 1988
Decline of the American Empire The 1986
Deconstructing Harry
Deep Blue CD1
Deep Blue CD2
Deep Impact
Deep Loves CD1
Deep Loves CD2
Deep Rising
Deep Space 9 1x01 and 1x02 Emissary
Deep Space 9 1x03 Past Prologue
Deep Space 9 1x04 A Man Alone
Deep Space 9 1x05 Babel
Deep Space 9 1x06 Captive Pursuit
Deep Space 9 1x07 Q-Less
Deep Space 9 1x08 Dax
Deep Space 9 1x09 The Passenger
Deep Space 9 1x10 Move Along Home
Deep Space 9 1x11 The Nagus
Deep Space 9 1x12 Vortex
Deep Space 9 1x13 Battle Lines
Deep Space 9 1x14 The Storyteller
Deep Space 9 1x15 Progress
Deep Space 9 1x16 If Wishes Were Horses
Deep Space 9 1x17 The Forsaken
Deep Space 9 1x18 Dramatis Personae
Deep Space 9 1x19 Duet
Deep Space 9 1x20 In The Hands Of The Prophets
Deep blue sea
Defiant Ones The
Delicatessen (1991)
Delirium (Delirio Caldo)(23.976)
Deliv and Daniel Webster The
Deliver Us from Eva
Demetrius And The Gladiators 1954
Demoiselles de Rochefort Les CD1
Demoiselles de Rochefort Les CD2
Demon Baby
Demonic Beauty (2002)
Demonlover CD1
Demonlover CD2
Dentist 2 The 1998
Derrick 2004
Dersu Uzala (Akira Kurosawa) CD1
Dersu Uzala (Akira Kurosawa) CD2
Desert Fox - The Story of Rommel
Desert Rats The
Desk Set
Desperate Hours The
Desperate Living
Destination Tokyo CD1
Destination Tokyo CD2
Destry Rides Again
Detroit 9000
Devdas (2002) CD1
Devdas (2002) CD2
Devil Probable The
Devil Rides Out The 1968
Devil is a Woman The
Devils Advocate The CD1
Devils Advocate The CD2
Devils Backbone The
Devils Brigade The
Devils Own The
Dial M for Murder 1954
Diamonds Are Forever
Diana Krall Live in Paris
Diarios De Motocicleta
Diary of a Chambermaid
Diary of a Country Priest (1951 Bresson Robert)
Dias de Nietzsche em Turim
Dickie Roberts Former Child Star
Die Another Day (2002) CD1
Die Another Day (2002) CD2
Die Hard 1988 Extended Version CD1
Die Hard 1988 Extended Version CD2
Die Hard With a Vengeance
Die Nibelungen - Die Kriemhilds Rache CD1
Die Nibelungen - Die Kriemhilds Rache CD2
Diez de hollywood Los 1951
Dil Ka Kya Kasoor
Dil Ka Rishta
Dirty Dancing
Dirty Dancing - Havana Nights
Dirty Harry
Dirty Tiger Crazy Frog 1978
Discovery Air Jaws Sharks of South Africa
Discovery Channel - Raising The Mammoth
Dish The
Disorderly Orderly The
Distant Lights
Distant Thunder
Django spara per primo
Do Raaste
Do The Right Thing CD1
Do The Right Thing CD2
Dobry vojak Svejk
Dodeskaden (Akira Kurosawa)
Dodgeball - A True Underdog Story
Dog Nail Clipper
Dog Soldiers (2002)
Dogs Of War The 1981
Dogville CD1
Dogville CD2
Doing Hard Time CD1
Doing Hard Time CD2
Dois Perdidos Numa Noite Suja 2002
Dokument Fanny och Alexander CD1
Dokument Fanny och Alexander CD2
Dolce Vita La 1960 CD1
Dolce Vita La 1960 CD2
Dolores Claiborne (1995)
Domicile conjugal
Don Giovanni CD1
Don Giovanni CD2
Dong (The Hole) 1998
Donggam (2000) - Ditto
Donnie Brasco
Donnie Darko
Dont Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood
Dont Bother to Knock
Dont look now
Dont say a word
Donzoko 1957
Door in the Floor The 2004
Doors The CD1
Doors The CD2
Dora-Heita 2000
Double Jeopardy
Double Team
Double Vision (Shuang Tong)
Doulos Le
Down By Law 1986
Down Periscope
Down Time
Down With Love
Down and Out in Beverly Hills
Dr Dolittle
Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
Dr No
Dr Strangelove
Dracula - Dead and Loving It
Dracula 1931
Dracula 1979
Dracula Has Risen From The Grave 1968
Dragon Head CD1
Dragon Head CD2
Dragonball Z
Dragonheart (1996)
Dragonheart - Collectors Edition
Dragons Forever (Jackie Chan)
Dragstrip Girl
DreamKeeper 2003 CD1
DreamKeeper 2003 CD2
Dream Master The
Dream Of A Warrior (Cheonsamong)
Dreamers The
Dreamlife of Angels The
Dressed to Kill 1980
Drifting Clouds
Driving Miss Daisy
Driving miss Wealthy (2004)
Drop Dead Gorgeous 1999
Drowning Mona CD1
Drowning Mona CD2
Drums Along the Mohawk
Drunken Master (Yuen Woo-Ping 1978)
Du rififi chez les hommes (Jules Dassin 1955) CD1
Du rififi chez les hommes (Jules Dassin 1955) CD2
Duck Soup (1933 Marx Brothers)
Dude Wheres My Car
Duel The
Duel in the Sun CD1
Duel in the Sun CD2
Duel to the Death
Duellists The
Dumb And Dumberer When Harry Met Lloyd 2003
Dumb and Dumber
Dune 2000 - 1 of 3
Dune 2000 - 2 of 3
Dune 2000 - 3 of 3
Dungeons And Dragons
Dunken Monkey 2002
Dust in the Wind (Hsiao-hsien Hou 1986)
Dying td CD1
Dying td CD2
The Dawns Here Are Quiet The CD2