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You people, seek cover ! To the parapet ! Seek your children ! - Steady the horses ! Something's wrong. Something's amiss. Where'd you go ? Where'd you g-- Oh, oh, aah ! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ow ! I'll crush ya ! I'll mash ya into paste, you bony cre-- - Hyah ! I'm through being their garbage boy. I did my part. Now I want back, like in the deal. Hyah ! I... live... again. There ! The Promised One ! The Promised One's returned ! Raise the portcullis ! Welcome home ! We're saved ! - The Necronomicon ! - Truly he is The Promised One ! - He's brought the Necronomicon ! - How are ya ? - He's brought the book ! - Yeah, great, great. - Good boy ! - Get the fuck outta my face ! The Necronomicon, quickly. Did you bring the Necronomicon ? - Yeah, it's, it's just that-- - Just what ? Nothin'. Here. Now send me back. Like in the deal. When you removed the Necronomicon from the cradle, did you speak the words ? - Yeah, basically. - Did you speak the exact words ? Look, maybe I didn't say every single, little tiny syllable, - no, but basically I said 'em, yeah. - Dung-eating fool ! Thou hast doomed us all ! When thou misspoke the words, the army of the dead awoke ! Now, whoa, whoa, right there, spinach chin. You said you could clean this mess up once you got that book. You said there was a passage that could get rid of this thing and send me back. It's true, the book still possesses the power to send you back, but to us it is useless ! The evil has a terrible hunger for the Necronomicon, and it will come here to get it. We had a deal. You wanted the damn book, I got it for ya. I did my part, now you send me back. Very well. As we are men of our word, we shall honor our bargain. The wise men shall return you to your own time. Yeah ? - I thought he was the one. - Yeah, right. 'Cause that was the deal. So when do you think we can... start with all the thing and the-- He's nothin' but a traitor, he is ! When do you think we can start... with all the, uh, ceremony and, uh-- Agh ! Wretched excuse for a man ! The wise men were fools to trust in you. I knew he couldn't be trusted. We put our trust in him. I still believe that thou wilt help us. Oh, Sheila, don't you get it ? It's over. I didn't have what it took. So long. But what of the things that we've shared ? What of all the sweet words that you spoke in private ? Aw, well-- Well, that's just what we call "pillow talk," baby. That's all. It was more than that. I still have faith in thee. I still believe that thou wilt stay and save us. I-- Coward ! - Look there ! A demon ! Ash ! Help me ! Sheila ! Yaaah ! - Shoot the bloody thing ! - Hold your arms ! You'll hit the girl ! Uh, me sword ! Yaaah ! Damn you ! Dig, damn you ! Dig faster ! I shall command every worm-infested son-of-a-bitch... - that ever died in battle ! - Thank you, sir ! - You there, handsomely now. - Aye, my liege. We shall storm their castle and get my book ! Hoist, you damnable varlets ! Welcome back to the land of the living. Now pick up a shovel and get digging ! - Bring on the wench ! - Gimme some sugar, baby. Well. Now, ain't you a sweet little thing ? Don't touch me, you foul thing ! Come on. That's it. We got plans for you, girly-girl. Move ! Have you lost your bones, you decomposed gobs ? Get thee hence ! A scout approaches ! - Whoa ! - Hey, get his horse. Arise. My lord, an army of the dead gather in the wilderness. - They approach the castle. - How far from here? But two days' ride. These winged ones are only the first of them. Perhaps we should leave as soon as possible. - We could be safe in the mountains. - Yes, the mountains. - We must flee ! - It is written. It has been foretold. - They'll take our souls. They'll swallow our souls. - I'm afraid ! - I don't want to die ! That's it. Go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama ! Me ? I'm through runnin' ! I say we stay here and fight it out. Are all men from the future loudmouthed braggarts ? Nope. Just me, baby. Just me. How will we fight an army of the dead at our castle walls ? How will you fight that ? More words ? Most of our people have already fled. We are but 60 men. Then we'll get Henry the Red and his men to fight with us. Now... who's with me ? I'll stand by ya. You can count on my steel. I'll offer up my courage. - Me sword's by his side. - I'm with you ! - I'll bend my bow to your will, sir. - And mine ! We'll stay ! Hail ! Hail ! Hail ! Hail ! Hail ! Hail ! Hail ! Well, my dear, say hello to the boys. - There's a sight for sore bones. I may be bad, but I feel... good. - Who rules ? - To you, my lord. You, sir. To the castle. The castle ! Hurry up now. The castle ! Let's push. Heave-ho. Good. Yeah. Ha ! Hoo ! Hai-ya ! Ha ! Hoo ! Hai-ya ! Yeah ! They're coming ! The Deadites approach ! There's so damn many of 'em. - - - - Battle stations ! All right, get those rocks up, mister, on the double ! Ready the catapults ! By God, let's give 'em what for. And halt ! - Company, halt ! - Company, halt ! I'll rip his balls off. - - My lord, we are positioned on both fronts. Fine, fine, fine. Where are they keeping my book ? There, my lord, beyond the wall. The parapet. That would be the most likely place. Right. Bring me forth into that castle ! - Forward ! - Forward ! Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war ! To the castle ! Fly, mate ! Fly ! Death to the mortals ! Arrows. Torch boy ! Steady. Fire ! - Advance, you beasts, advance ! Oh ! Oh ! Yeah, baby ! - All right ! Sire, there's a second division approaching from the south. Ram the gate ! Catapults. Catapults out ! Yeah ! Fire ! Look there ! Yeah ! - Seek cover ! - Watch out ! - Make way ! Oh ! Oh, you miserable bags of bones ! Pick yourselves up and sally fo... Sally for-- Sally forth. Come on, you miserable wretches. Lower. Heave ! Forward ! Buttress the door, now ! Hold fast ! - Back ! - Stone these creatures ! Damn you ! Ooh, that's gotta hurt. Go, you creatures ! Arrows ! Load ! Fire ! - Heave ! Put your... backbones into it. We've broken through ! The castle is ours ! Kill the mortals ! - Get it achieved and fast ! Their ranks are broken ! Have at them ! Ha ! Hoo ! Hai-ya ! Ha ! Hoo ! Hai-ya ! Pull back ! Man the parapet ! Protect the book. God save us all. Say hello to the 21st century. Yeah ! Come on ! I got plenty for everybody ! Look out ! - Whoo ! - Bye-bye. It's the one in the cart we want ! Get him ! - Yaaah ! Yaaaaah ! Sheila ? - We've secured the courtyard, my lord. Excellent. Ooh ! Hey ! Look out ! - Hey, you're mine, sweetie. Get off of her ! Gotcha ! Damn you ! - My lord. - Stay with the book. The book's where we are. Oops ! Hello ! The book is mine. I'll cut your gizzard out. - Hey, where'd he go ? Come to papa. Get him ! Oh, you crazy bitch, get off of me ! Ha ! Right. You found me beautiful once. Honey, you got real ugly. There we are. So you wanna play rough, eh ? Okay. Oh. All right, all right. Prepare to die ! You're going down ! - I'm goin' up. - I'm comin' for ya. Come on ! - Oops. Excuse me. - Come on. All right ! You're pissin' me off, you ugly son of a bitch ! I'll spoil those good looks. Back-stabber ! Hold still ! Tallyho ! - We can't hold the battlements! We will hold ! We must protect the book ! I got a bone to pick with you. Come on. Slice that gizzard open. Now you're mine. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. At last, the book. I possess the Necronomicon. I've crushed your pathetic army. Now I'll have my vengeance. Buckle up, bonehead, 'cause you're goin' for a ride. Huh ? Victory's ours ! - Retreat ! Retreat ! - Let's get the hell out of here ! - Oh. - Tricky ones, they are. If it's a fight you want-- Watch 'em, lads. They're an untrust worthy lot. Move yourself, lad ! - Your hand, man. Godspeed ! - Hey, Henry. Yeah, nice goin'. - My lady. - Arthur. - Well won, my friend. - We've won the day. - Yeah ! - Yeah ! We're brothers and a new kingdom shall be born ! The book tells us that each drop allows a man to sleep for a century swallow six drops though will awake in your own time. Hyah ! Six drops. I slept too long. |
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