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Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x04

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Hello. Yes, I'd like to speak to Immoral Timothy, please.
Yes, I can hold.
Here you are, Filthy. I know you like it hot and steaming.
Tea, I mean. May I say what a tremendous pleasure it is to see you!
Yes, indeedy-do. How are you?
I'm not lending you any money, Eddie, and that's final.
Hello, yes. Immoral Timothy?
Ralph Filthy here.
Now, look, look, I've told you before, I don't deal in drugs.
Yeah. That's why I sold you three ounces of scouring powder.
Look at it this way, you'll have the cleanest nose in Clapham.
- A fiver, then. - Look, Immoral Timothy,
there's no need to call in Huge Simon.
I was wondering if you'd accept use of my body in full payment?
I'm in lovely condition,
I only got my new teeth last Thursday.
Five? 5p, Filthy.
Really, daughter, you do tire me with your heartless scrounging.
Got a fag, by the way?
What sort of a minder are you?
Whenever Richie needs you, you're never there,
and when he gets beaten up, you join in.
I don't know why he keeps you on.
Filthy, show business is a cruel and lonely world.
When you're up, everyone wants to be your friend,
and when you're down,
nobody wants to know.
Richie sticks by me because he knows, amidst all the hypocrisy,
he can count on my feelings.
He knows I hate him.
Ohhh, I'm stretched on the rack of my own genius!
What is wrong with the boy Richie?
He's trying to write a novel
but he keeps coming up against the same huge lack of talent.
A novel? He's no more a novelist than Jeffrey Archer.
I knew Jeffrey when he was still going to adult literacy classes.
No, no, Richie should stick to what he's good at.
Well, you can't make much cash
off lying on the sofa and blowing off occasionally.
Ohhh, why must there be such pain! Such pain!
About this cash, I'm serious.
Richie hasn't brought home anything in three months,
not since that wonderful voice-over for Durex.
I really thought that might turn into a big contract.
"For a fantastic finish, with no annoying drips,
"slap your brush into Durex. "
Dulux, Eddie, it was a paint ad.
Whatever, that was three months ago, now we're broke again.
I'm broke, we're all broke.
God, what a country. I'm a sick man.
- Does the government care? - No.
My medicine has gone up to eight quid a bottle. Eight quid!
Then you have to buy the tonic.
Ohhh, the blank and empty page!
Staring at me! Taunting me!
Eddie, how the hell do you plug these bloody things in?
Have you just spent the last four hours
trying to plug the typewriter in?
It's bloody stupid. Look at this. A plug, right?
Two pins at the top, one at the bottom.
The socket has got two pins at the bottom and one at the top!
It beggars belief! It defies comprehension!
Oh, God, how depressing.
It's the wrong way up, daughter, the two pins go in the two holes.
Oh, I see. So I'm supposed to go in there and turn the wall upside down?
Bloody stupid!
- You haven't written anything? - No!
- No nov? - No!
Not even a dirty pamph?
I've joined the ranks of the other suffering artists.
Keats, he suffered. Shelley, she suffered. Michael Barrymore...
We all suffered.
Van Gogh-cut his ear off for a smile from his lady.
His ear for a smile?
Blimey. Lucky he didn't fancy a quick wriggle.
Suffering's got nothing to do with it, Richie.
You have failed through complete lack of talent.
Au contraire, lesser mortal.
Despairing of modern technology,
I allowed my genius to flow through a simple medium -
- I dug out me old ballpoint. - Oo-er!
Eddie, I'm not in the mood.
So you have written a nov, then?
Better - I have mastered the highest, most complex art form known to man.
I have perfected a game show formula.
A copy has already been dispatched
to the Nice Entertainment department of the BBC
where Jumbo Whiffy, the great entertainment supremo, will flip his lid.
What, you mean you just sent it to them, just like that?
No security, no copyright, no nothing?
Not even a stamp! Ha!
Auntie can pay the postage.
But daughter, this is show business suicide.
If your idea is any good, which is a million-to-one chance,
the Beeb are bound to pinch it.
It happens all the time.
Panorama, that was Arthur Mullard's idea originally.
I remember, we did lunch.
He said to me, "Ralph, I've got this magic new idea
"for a political analysis and current affairs programme
"with me as front man and Thora Hird on links. "
Dimbleby's at the next table playing footsie with Val Singleton
and Arthur got stitched.
Poor old Arth.
You'd better take me with you, Richie.
You'll need a tough, experienced, hard-headed negotiator.
Just as well I'm not taking a broken-down pornographer.
Jumbo and I are artistes, agents spoil the atmos.
Come, Eddie, we go alone.
The idea comes from that, er,
clapped-out, useless, talentless has-been, Richie Rich.
Never heard of him? You've missed nothing.
Problem is, he wants to present it.
It's a while since I've sat here.
Mr Whiffy won't be long, I'm sure.
It was when old Stewpot pipped me for that Crackerjack job.
- Before my time, Mr Rich. - Ah-ha-ha.
Dear old Stewpot, eh? Where is he now?
A few years handing out Crackerjack pencils to kids...
...and then, whoops-a-daisy, oblivion! Whereas me! Me!
Phew! Ha! That's me.
Meteoric. Best thing to happen to me, losing Crackerjack.
- Crackerjack! - Stop shouting "crackerjack"!
This is the BBC, not a place of entertainment.
Do I hear a well-known voice?
Richie Rich, you old bugger.
- What? - Put it there!
Put your pint-pot holder there, you old bugger.
Oh, all right, then, you old... git!
So, how are you, you old bastard?
Oh, pretty good, pretty good, you old...
This is my minder, Edward Catflap.
Terrific. Get yourself in there, we'll have a drink, you tarts.
Don't mind if we do, you rectum-faced bucket of sex sauce.
Er... three coffees, please, darling love.
If he really is your darling love,
get your eyes tested while it's still free on the NHS.
You met Jill? Don't know what I'd do without her.
Terrific pair of... eyes, eh?
Yeah, fantastic knockers as well, hasn't she?
Yeah, well, sit ye down, sit ye down, take a pew.
Or, as my old sergeant used to say,
"Pop yer bot on the spot, or I'll shove a bayonet up it. "
Three more coffees, please, darling.
- Right, then, Richo. - Jums.
How much are you gonna pay me to present my great new show?
Oh, let me take a look at you, you old queen. You look great!
Yeah, but what about his idea, Jums?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold it, cowboy. Where's the fire?
Let's dance around this, knock our heads together
and see if you can end up on my lap, eh?
- Be honest. - Hang on, Richie,
we're not homosexuals, are we?
Ooh, no. No, Jums, no.
Now, look, Richie.
I'm not saying your idea's not sexy but can I afford to go to bed with it?
Or am I looking for a different kind of lover?
I'll run it up the flagpole, see if the cat wants to lick it.
Er, yes but... are you going to give me the job,
er... bumface?
Three more coffees, please, darling.
Richie, let me put it this way -
when I first came into this office,
there was a fat old drunk sat behind that desk mumbling platitudes.
And it was me.
And I'm still there. See the way I'm thinking?
- Yes. - No!
Yes, we do. But are you going to do my new show?
Let's buy you a drink, me old mate!
I've asked Eggy Guffer, our finance and budget troubleshooter,
to join us for a swift one. Or ten! Eh?
Ten? Trying not to get pissed?
Ha! Ha-haa! They don't call me fantastic company for nothing!
Right, lads! Bottoms up, trousers down, and don't tell the wife!
- Right, about my new series. - Yeah, about the new series.
I've asked Eggy here to fly a few proposals past the saluting platform,
see which one develops engine failure.
Now, I...
Oh, very nice, thank you!
- Woof! - That'll do for me!
- Say no more! - Yeah! Whoo, blimey! Rrraargh!
What are we looking at?
Now, Eggy, regarding baseline options
on a new Richie Rich series layout initiative?
- Water pistols or cruise missiles? - Well...
- Grrrrr! - I say!
Down, sir! Shouldn't be allowed. She'll get me into trouble.
Hey, get me to a cold shower!
Yeah! I'm certainly glad I'm wearing my trousers.
Yeah, whooooarrrr! Whooooarrrr!
So, the new series.
I've read the outline treatment and I like what I see.
Fantastic! I want Terry Scott's dressing room.
- Get Selina Scott's. - And don't tidy up the undies.
Richie, I like playing with myself,
doesn't mean I wanna do it prime time on channel one.
Run your idea past Eggy, see if he wants to stick his hand up your blouse.
Jumbo, I respect you for holding back. This guy, Eggy...
This man... Ooh.
Jumbo Whiffy, who I knew when he was only a quarter of a ton,
this fabulous professional,
who brought Keith Harris and Orville into Television Centre,
is the nearest thing I've got to family.
Sod off, you old queen!
Ohhh, up yours, you rancid, dribbling zit.
Yeah! Screw you, you complacent, misogynistic bumsplat.
That's the kind of showbiz friendship these new boys don't understand.
Richie, Richie, run your idea by me, sunshine.
Get this-you're gonna flip your flippin' lid.
All-Star Golfing Secrets.
- I like it. - Good telly.
It's a hot one. I felt this way when I got a sniff of Bernard Manning.
- Eggy, what say you? - It's big.
Put this against Play Your Cards Right, blow Brucie off the box!
- Let's go, contract! - I shouldn't sign without my agent.
Get on with it, maybe they'll get another round in.
Thank God someone's still got their feet on the ground.
There! When do we start?
You don't start at all. We only wanted the idea.
Which you've signed over for two pints of lager.
We want Davro for the presenter.
Jumbo, no gags about talentless creeps.
He does good impressions. Look at Copycat.
No one has ever recognised a single impression on that
except when they say,
"Hello, my name's Benny from Crossroads. " In an Irish accent.
We rate Davro very highly indeed. He's the next Tarby.
You're a talentless moron. We're gonna pinch your idea, get Davro,
and you can bugger off to Give Us A Clue.
Oh, God.
Still alive.
There was something I meant to do before I nodded off.
Oh, yeah, put my fag out.
I hate doing that, going to sleep with a fag still on.
Bloody BBC!
Ohhh, I hate everything!
Well, did you get the job or did they cheat you?
Yes and no.
You got the job and they didn't cheat you?
Sorry, no and yes.
They nicked my idea, those BBC bastards!
I'll show them! I'll be a TV megastar! Bigger than...
Judith Chalmers!
That's absolutely bloody enormous.
Jumbo will beg me to work for him.
The only way you'll get on telly
is robbing a sweet shop and getting on Police Five.
Actually, that's not too bad an idea, Eddie.
Filthy, get me an advert.
Get me an advert. A good ad always sorts things out.
That's true. Look at Leslie Crowther.
Yeah. Or rather not.
That wasn't bad! Get that down, Eddie. Good gag!
I feel like throwing it up.
We thought Leslie was finished after My Good Woman.
But then he did the marg ads and before you know it,
it's "Come on down and make a complete tit of yourself!"
You couldn't do an ad,
not a personality one anyway - you haven't got a personality.
All right, all right, don't rub it in.
No one's gonna buy a toilet roll cos you've got it in your mouth.
- Nobody. - All right!
Selina Scott! Am I forever to be surrounded by poltroons?
You don't need to be famous anyway, you just need a good idea.
Like selling instant noodles on the grounds they taste nice.
It's so outrageous it's brilliant.
What about that dog you wipe your bottom with?
If you are referring to the gorgeous Anthrax pup, Edward,
it's got a toilet roll in its mouth.
The idea is that the paper's so lovely and soft that...
It's like wiping your bottom with a puppy.
I suppose so, yes.
Perhaps what they're saying is
the paper's so bad you might as well feed it to the dog.
They've got an elephant in the new ads. Where does that fit in?
I shouldn't think it would fit in.
No, they're saying feed the paper to the dog.
Yeah. And wipe your bottom with the elephant.
A truly surreal concept - that's what we need.
Let's think of an advert for me. The ideas sesh is on.
- Er, well... - Yes?
What, me?
Er... Oh, well. Er...
Well. Well!
I've always thought
that cornflakes...
look a bit like people.
After dipping his toe in the waters of reason,
the man with no brain retreats to frolic on insanity beach.
You'll pay for that, you bastard.
Hi, Richie Rich here, God bless, look after Mum! Ah-ah-ahhh!
Some dates still available. What can I do for you, squire? News?
You want someone for an ad?
Oh. Oh, I see.
That's very interesting, thank you so much.
- Not work, then? - No, no, my dad's dying.
Damn! We really need some bloody cash.
I know, and I need to get on telly! What I need is a bloody good advert!
Listen, your dad's dying, that's très bona news, daughter.
Well, I must say, Filthy, I find your att a trifle cal.
No, we can make money out of this.
It's no good, I tried it with my gran.
They just don't buy bodies any more.
Come here, come here.
Listen, this is the plot...
Right, get your pad, Sexy.
They're in the office now.
Hi, Tommo baby, you old prostitute!
You look like a million dollars in used notes.
Just joshing. Let's do business, you old bugger, you!
- What can I do for you? - Aha!
It's more a question what he can do for you, gusset face.
Bloody hell, Richie, I think I'm on!
I'm your big new advertising initiative.
Mr Rich, overweight, drunken old has-beens are not a major market force.
Ah-ha-ha! Nice gag, Tommo.
I like your style, you hatchet-faced old easy lay, you!
We're gonna get on great.
Richie, I think she fancies us both. Let's get frisky.
Get out of my office or I'll have you sprayed.
Ah-ha-haaa! Touché. I love a chick with a sense of humour. Listen.
- My dad's dying. - This is head office, not a retail outlet.
If you wish to buy a wreath,
Freddie will be pleased to supply you with a list of shops.
Miss Tomkins, this is my plan -
my dad's dying, tough for him but life must go on.
If we can get a few celebs for the funeral, probably up to Saint and Greavsie level,
then we'll make the nash news and then we're laughing.
- I don't follow. - For God's sake, you stupid cow!
That's when we do the ad - a celeb wearing mourning
flogging flowers at his dad's funeral. It's coloss!
How will you get celebrities to the funeral?
It isn't even you that's you dying.
Mm-mm-mm. Well, you're not gonna get Tarby, obv,
but some of these has-beens haven't been on TV in years.
- They're desperate men. - All we have to do is get...
...a camera at the funeral.
The minor celebs will turn out
trying to get on South East At Six looking sad and concerned
and available for work.
- This, Mr Rich... - Please, call me Sexy.
This, Mr Sexy,
is fantastic.
I am prepared to offer you a contract worth half a million pounds.
Maximum TV exposure, posters, the lot.
From now on, you are the Bloody Flora bloke!
Fantastic! Shall we shake or shag?
You'll get a contract after the funeral.
If any other relatives start to look peaky, let me know.
- Good day to you. - Get the door, Sexy.
Filthy, you old failed experiment in brain surgery!
Your plan worked brilliantly!
I've landed the biggest contract in history! We're rich!
- Well, I'm rich. - No more shoplifting! Limitless lager!
I'll buy a theatre, write a play,
buy a newspaper and write myself a good review.
I'll have my head removed and replaced with two pub optics,
one Scotch and one gin.
That way I could press myself against the ceiling
and get a double straight down the neck without all the bother.
Hi, God bless, drive safely,
look after Mum, Richie Rich here, some dates available.
My bloody dad's getting better!
Well, it was nice to be rich for 30 secs.
Oo-er, sounds a bit rude. Sounds a bit like sex.
- Sounds exactly like sex. - Oh, shut up!
Filthy, I can't return to pov.
Well... you don't have to, do you?
- How do you mean? - Well, you could always kill him.
Kill my own father to get on an advert?
- Why not? - Yeah, why not?
Well, because... Because...
There aren't really any reasons why not, are there?
No pics, no pics! Please respect my right to privacy,
perhaps a few autographs later.
- Now, listen... - Richie,
I'm not complaining or anything
but a few moments ago we decided to kill your father.
And now we have come down to a public house
where, presumably,
we are about to get completely whammoed again.
I don't follow the logic.
But surely you don't expect me to kill my own father,
from whose loins I sprang.
Why, I'm the fruit of his very seed.
How could I murder my own flesh and blood?
Richie Rich...
I never knew you capable of such touching sentiments.
No, I'm talking about the papers.
What if they find out I've killed me father?
It might be a bit of a scandal.
I'm sure we could sit on it but give a dog a bad name...
- Like "Tiddles". - Right.
And some mud is bound to stick.
No, we've come here to get somebody to kill him for us.
I'll get the drinks in, you find some low-looking fellows.
Lads who'd as soon handle a blackjack as eat their dinner.
Right. I'll have a rustle around.
Look, I don't wish to appear defeatist but after some considerable rustling
there appear to be no low fellows to report.
Eddie, this is an East End pub, there's bound to be.
- Haven't you read your Dickens? - No.
We're in Bill Sykes country - thieves, murderers, prostitutes.
I'll check out the landlord.
Well, if he's a prostitute he's gonna starve to death.
Ah! Mine host! And a very good day to you too, landlord.
Perhaps you'd be so kind
as to draw us two frothing tankards of your best ale
and perhaps a smidgen of the fine old English fare
which is so boldly promised on your sign outside.
And we'll have two pints of lager and a couple of pasties.
Is he winding me up?
It's the oldest trick in the book.
So that no one suspects my dark intent
I'm passing myself off as a harmless idiot.
That shouldn't put an undue strain on your acting ability.
I knew you were going to say something like that.
I really knew you were going to say something like that.
I really, really, really, really knew you were going to say something like that.
Just so long as you realise that I knew you were going to say that.
- Well, it was in the script. - Shh-shh.
- Here you are. - Thank you very much.
- What are you having, Richie? - Small port and lemon, please.
Now, landlord, I'm a well-heeled toff from up west,
and I'm looking for low fellows for some dirty work for a sovereign.
You're not gonna get much for a quid, mate.
That old bloke might kiss you for that. More if he puts his teeth in.
Not that sort of dirty work!
As far as sexual gratification is concerned
I can do that on my own, thank you.
Listen, what I require, landlord, are two stout artisans
of such morals that they'll do bloody murder
for the price of a bellyful of mother's ruin.
You want someone to risk life imprisonment for a fiver?
A fiver? I only want him killed, not stuffed and mounted!
You think this is a job centre for the criminal fraternity?
Well, come on, mate, I know you working-class costermongers.
Once you've drunk your meths and beaten your wives
there's nothing to do except sex the dog.
- You're always up for mischief! - That's it!
- All right, Frank? - Morning, Rocky.
Hey, Richie.
Take a look at those two.
Pretty hard, aren't they?
Wouldn't want to meet them in a dark alley
if they had a chainsaw and were gouging my guts out,
splitting my head open with a machete, spilling my brains out.
If your brains were spilt,
I hardly think the street cleansers will be overtaxed.
- Er... - Shut up.
Restrain your imbecility while I ingratiate myself.
- Two pints of wallop. - I'll get these!
Make 'em halves.
Who are you?
I want someone taken out.
- You mean killed? - You have a keen brain.
What is this, a cabaret?
What's the matter, kid? Ya scared?
Think you're tough, don't ya?
But when the bottom line comes, you can't hack it.
Plenty of swagger and "two pints of wallop",
but when there's man's work to be done,
it's off home to Mummy.
Yeah. Come on!
I just bought you lily-livered lettuce leaves a half of bitter.
Blimey, I only want my dad killed.
Maybe they're scared.
What are you? Queer?
Maybe they're poofs. Just a couple of poncy old queens.
Just two mincing old woofters.
Whoops, watch your bums, lads, backs to the wall.
Put on your bike clips, or they'll be up your trouser leg.
Bloody fairies. That's what you are, isn't it?
This is a gay pub.
And don't come back until you've liberated your sexual politics
or you'll get a murder all right.
How dare he? I'm liberated - I work in the theatre!
Some of my best friends are trouser bandits.
I just wouldn't want one near my daughter.
You haven't got a daughter.
You're very unlikely to have one
because the chances of a woman letting you within a billion miles
are nonexistent.
You're a spiteful viper, Eddie.
Christian virtue is a foreign language,
kindness and good fellowship a closed box.
Come on, let's go and kill my dad.
It is imperative that we are brilliantly efficient.
Right. On our past record, that seems unlikely.
Above all, we must leave no fingerprints. Got the gloves?
- Yes, indeedy! - Oven gloves?
You said we'd need gloves cos things might get a bit hot.
Well, you should say what you mean!
It was obv what I meant.
I can't navigate every tortuous twist of the bottomless pit you call a brain.
Cue for a gag. What do you call a coal mine that can't go to the toilet?
- Who knows? - A bottomless pit.
Brilliant! That gag'll be all over Britain next week.
So's herpes but I don't think people want it on their tellies.
Which do you want, the Mr Men ones or the foxy ones?
The foxy... No, no! Mr Men!
No, no, foxy. No... God, I don't know! One of each.
- Nice choice. - Eddie, you should wear a mask.
You think I'll get recognised?
No, I just don't like your face.
I never mind a jibe when it's a witty one and that was brilliant!
Thanks. Now to buy the poison.
Shh! Quiet!
I must stress that care and stealth are of the essence.
We must give nothing away. Softly, softly, catchy monkey.
- Oo-er. - Let's go.
Good afternoon, I'd like some poison to kill my dad. Ooh!
I'd like some poison to kill my rat.
I've only got six packets left.
Well... Well, how strong is it?
Oh, quite strong, yeah.
Look, if I wanted to kill one, say, very big rat...
how much will I need?
How big a rat?
Well, er... Er... Eddie, how big would you say my dad was?
- About six foot, eleven stone. - He's a big man.
Er, ooh, with claws! And a long tail!
- And teeth. - And a snout.
- "Where's my tea?" - Six packs'd kill an elephant.
Four pound, please, sir.
He thinks we're killing an elephant.
We're baffling him at every turn.
There you are, shopkeeper.
My name's Angela Rippon and I live in Antwerp. Come on, Eddie.
- I mean, Gloria Hunniford. - Where?
Right, let's pop the poison in a pot and poison Pop!
Yeah! People may say I'm cruel and heartless but cash is involved.
Richie, there's a letter for you.
No time for fan mail, I'm poisoning my dad.
I think you should read it. It's germane to the issue.
Oh, give it here. "You are a bastard. "
Stop talking about me and get on with it.
He is doing, it's from his mother.
Ah, dear, sweet, silver-haired Mummy.
"You are a bastard. "
Such a josher!
"Dear Richie, you are old enough to know I never knew your father
"who was just a one-off bang to me.
"The man you call Dad is just my present sex slave
"and I've told the papes for a fiver.
"A few more home truths - we never liked you
"and your name is not Richie but Gertrude.
"I've enclosed next year's birthday cake so I need never see you again.
"Love Mum. PS - Piss off. "
That's it, then. We can't poison Pop cos we don't know who he is.
Better eat the cake.
You know what, Gertrude? I could get to like your mum.
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Farscape - 1x06 - Thank God Its Friday Again
Farscape - 1x07 - PK Tech Girl
Farscape - 1x08 - That Old Black Magic
Farscape - 1x09 - DNA Mad Scientist
Farscape - 1x10 - Theyve Got a Secret
Farscape - 1x11 - Till the Blood Runs Clear
Farscape - 1x12 - Rhapsody In Blue
Farscape - 1x13 - The Flax
Farscape - 1x14 - Jeremiah Crichton
Farscape - 1x15 - Durka Returns
Farscape - 1x16 - A Human Reaction
Farscape - 1x17 - Through The Looking Glass
Farscape - 1x18 - A Bugs Life
Farscape - 1x19 - Nerve
Farscape - 1x20 - The Hidden Memory
Farscape - 1x21 - Bone To Be Wild
Farscape - 1x22 - Family Ties
Farscape - 2x01 - Mind The Baby
Farscape - 2x02 - Vitas Mortis
Farscape - 2x03 - Talking The Stone
Farscape - 2x04 - Crackers Dont Matter
Farscape - 2x05 - The Way We Werent
Farscape - 2x06 - Picture If You Will
Farscape - 2x07 - Home On The Remains
Farscape - 2x08 - Dream A Little Dream
Farscape - 2x09 - Out Of Their Minds
Farscape - 2x10 - My Three Crichtons
Farscape - 2x11 - Look At The Princess I - A Kiss Is But A Kiss
Farscape - 2x12 - Look At The Princess II - I Do I Think
Farscape - 2x13 - Look At The Princess III - The Maltese Crichton
Farscape - 2x14 - Beware Of Dog
Farscape - 2x15 - Wont Get Fooled Again
Farscape - 2x16 - The Locket
Farscape - 2x17 - The Ugly Truth
Farscape - 2x18 - A Clockwork Nebari
Farscape - 2x19 - Liars Guns and Money I - A Not So Simple Plan
Farscape - 2x20 - Liars Guns and Money II - With Friends Like These
Farscape - 2x21 - Liars Guns and Money III - Plan B
Farscape - 2x22 - Die Me Dichotomy
Farscape - 3x01 - Season Of Death
Farscape - 3x02 - Suns And Lovers
Farscape - 3x03 - Self Inflicted Wounds I - Coulda Woulda Shoulda
Farscape - 3x04 - Self Inflicted Wounds II - Wait For The Wheel
Farscape - 3x05 - Different Destinations
Farscape - 3x06 - Eat Me
Farscape - 3x07 - Thanks For Sharing
Farscape - 3x08 - Green Eyed Monster
Farscape - 3x09 - Losing Time
Farscape - 3x10 - Relativity
Farscape - 3x11 - Incubator
Farscape - 3x12 - Meltdown
Farscape - 3x13 - Scratch N Sniff
Farscape - 3x14 - Infinite Possibilities I - Daedalus Demands
Farscape - 3x15 - Infinite Possibilities II - Icarus Abides
Farscape - 3x16 - Revenging Angel
Farscape - 3x17 - The Choice
Farscape - 3x18 - Fractures
Farscape - 3x19 - I-Yensch You-Yensch
Farscape - 3x20 - Into The Lions Den I - Lambs To The Slaugher
Farscape - 3x21 - Into The Lions Den II - Wolf In Sheeps Clothing
Farscape - 3x22 - Dog With Two Bones
Farscape - 4x01 - Crichton Kicks
Farscape - 4x02 - What Was Lost (Part 1) - Sacrifice
Farscape - 4x03 - What Was Lost (Part 2) - Resurrection
Farscape - 4x04 - Lavas A Many Splendored Thing
Farscape - 4x05 - Promises
Farscape - 4x06 - Natural Election
Farscape - 4x07 - John Quixote
Farscape - 4x08 - I Shrink Therefore I Am
Farscape - 4x09 - A Prefect Murder
Farscape - 4x10 - Coup By Clam
Farscape - 4x11 - Unrealized Reality (Part 1)
Farscape - 4x12 - Kansas (Part 2)
Farscape - 4x13 - Terra Firma (Part 3)
Farscape - 4x14 - Twice Shy
Farscape - 4x15 - Mental As Anything
Farscape - 4x16 - Bringing Home The Beacon
Farscape - 4x17 - A Constellation Of Doubt
Farscape - 4x18 - Prayer
Farscape - 4x19 - We are So Screwed - Fetal Attraction (Part 1)
Farscape - 4x20 - We are So Screwed - Hot To Katratzi (Part 2)
Farscape - 4x21 - We are So Screwed - La Bomba (Part 3)
Farscape - 4x22 - Bad Timing
Farscape - The Peacekeeper Wars (Part 1)
Farscape - The Peacekeeper Wars (Part 2)
Fast And Furious
Fat Choi Spirit
Fata Morgana
Fate Ignoranti Le
Father of a Soldier (Rezo Chkheidze 1964)
Father of the Bride
Fawlty Towers
Fear Dot Com
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Fear of Fear (Rainer Werner Fassbinder 1975)
Feed the Kitty (1952)
Fellowship of the Ring The
Female Convict Scorpion Beast Stable 1973 Shunya Ito
Female Prisoner 701 Scorpion 1972
Femme Fatale (2002)
Fiances The 1962
Fierce Creatures (1997)
Fight Club CD1
Fight Club CD2
Fighter in the Wind
Fighting Fish 2004
Fille Sur La Pont La
Filles Uniques 2003
Film That Was Never Made A
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x01
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x02
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x03
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x04
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x05
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x06
Final Countdown The 1980 CD1
Final Countdown The 1980 CD2
Final Destination - New Line Platinum Series
Final Fantasy
Final Friday The - Jason Goes To Hell 25fps
Final Insult The
Final Nightmare The
Finders Fee (Jeff Probst 2001)
Finding Forrester 2000
Finding Nemo
Fire in the Sky
Firefly - Serenity (pilot)
Firefly 1x01 - The train job
Firefly 1x02 - Bushwhacked
Firefly 1x03 - Shindig
Firefly 1x04 - Safe
Firefly 1x05 - Our mrs Reynolds
Firefly 1x06 - Jaynestown
Firefly 1x07 - Out of gas
Firefly 1x08 - Ariel
Firefly 1x09 - War stories
Firefly 1x10 - Trash
Firefly 1x11 - The message
Firefly 1x12 - Heart of gold
Firefly 1x13 - Objects in space
Firemens Ball The 1967
First Great Train Robbery The 1978 CD1
First Great Train Robbery The 1978 CD2
First Men In The Moon 1964
First Power The
Fish Called Wanda A
Fisher King The
Fistful Of Dollars A
Fistful of Dynamite A CD1
Fistful of Dynamite A CD2
Five Easy Pieces 1970 CD1
Five Easy Pieces 1970 CD2
Flash Gordon CD1
Flash Gordon CD2
Flesh and Blood CD1
Flesh and Blood CD2
Flight Of The Intruder CD1 1991
Flight Of The Intruder CD2 1991
Flipper (1996) CD1
Flipper (1996) CD2
Flower of the Arabian Nights 1974 CD1
Flower of the Arabian Nights 1974 CD2
Flubber 1997 CD1
Flubber 1997 CD2
Fly Away Home
Fly The (Kurt Neumann 1958)
Fog of war The 2003 limited theatrical version
For A Few Dollars More 1965
For Scent-imental Reasons (1949)
Foreigner The
Fourth Man
Frankenfish 2004
Frankenstrom 2001
Frantic (1988)
Frasier 01x01 - The Good Son
Frasier 01x02 - Space Quest
Frasier 01x03 - Dinner At Eight
Frasier 01x04 - I Hate Frasier Crane
Frasier 01x05 - Heres Looking At You
Frasier 01x06 - The Crucible
Frasier 01x07 - Call Me Irresponsible
Frasier 01x08 - Beloved Infidel
Frasier 01x09 - Selling Out
Frasier 01x10 - Oops
Frasier 01x12 - Miracle On Third Or Fourth Street
Frasier 02x01 - Slow Tango in South Seattle
Frasier 02x02 - The Unkindest Cut of All
Frasier 02x03 - Commentary by Director David Lee and Writer Joe Keenan
Frasier 02x03 - The Matchmaker
Frasier 02x04 - Flour Child
Frasier 02x05 - Dukes We Hardly Knew You
Frasier 02x06 - The Botched Language of Cranes
Frasier 02x07 - The Candidate
Frasier 02x08 - Adventures in Paradise Part 1
Frasier 02x09 - Adventures in Paradise Part 2
Frasier 02x10 - Burying a Grudge
Frasier 02x11 - Seat of Power
Frasier 02x12 - Roz in the Doghouse
Frasier 02x13 - Retirement is Murder
Frasier 02x14 - Fool Me Once Shame on You Fool Me Twice
Frasier 02x15 - You Scratch My Book
Frasier 02x16 - The Show Where Sam Shows Up
Frasier 02x17 - Daphnes Room
Frasier 02x18 - The Club
Frasier 02x19 - Someone to Watch Over Me
Frasier 02x20 - Breaking the Ice
Frasier 02x21 - An Affair to Forget
Frasier 02x22 - Agents In America Part 3
Frasier 02x23 - The Innkeepers
Frasier 02x24 - Dark Victory
Freddys Revenge A
Fredrikssons Fabrikk
Free Willy 1993
Free Willy 2 - The Adventure Home
Free Willy 3 - The Rescue
Freeway (Sous-titres)
French Connection II (1975)
French Connection The
Frenzy (1972)
Fresh (1994)
Fresh Bait 1995
Friday Night (2002)
Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th Part 8
Friends - 02x03 - the one where heckles dies
Friends - 02x09 - the one with with phoebes dad
Friends - 02x11 - the one with the lesbian wedding
Friends - 02x13 - the one after the superbowl part 2
Friends - 02x15 - the one where ross and rachel you know
Friends - 02x16 - the one where joey moves out
Friends - 02x18 - the one where dr ramoray dies
Friends - 02x20 - the one where old yeller dies
Friends - 02x22 - the one with two parties
Friends - 02x24 - the one with barry and mindys wedding
Friends - 10x01 - TOW After Joey And Rachel Kiss
Friends - 10x02 - TOW Where Ross Is Fine
Friends - 10x03 - TOW Ross Tan
Friends - 10x04 - TOW the cake
Friends - 10x05 - TOW Rachels Sister Babysits
Friends - 10x06 - TOW Rosss Grant
Friends - 10x07 - TOW The Home Study
Friends - 10x08 - TOW the late Thanksgiving
Friends - 10x09 - TOW the birth mother
Friends - 10x10 - TOW Chandler Gets Caught
Friends - 10x11 - TOW The Stripper Cries
Friends - 10x12 - TOW Phoebes Wedding
Friends - 10x13 - TOW Joey Speaks French
Friends - 10x14 - TOW Princess Consuela
Friends - 3 22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x01 - The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy
Friends - 3x02 - The One Where No Ones Ready
Friends - 3x03 - The One With the Jam
Friends - 3x04 - The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
Friends - 3x05 - The One With Frank Jr
Friends - 3x06 - The One With the Flashback
Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2