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Frasier 01x03 - Dinner At Eight

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In the Greater Seattle area, the number is 555-KACL.
Lines are open. Please give us a call. Who's up next, Roz?
Pam on line four has a family problem.
Hello, Pam. This is Dr. Frasier Crane. I'm listening.
'Hi. It's my in-laws.
'They drop over all the time without calling
'and expect us to stop and entertain them.'
They're your husband's parents. What does he suggest?
'The other day he had us drop to the floor
'and stay quiet until they drove away.'
A creative approach, but hardly a long-term solution.
'I don't want to hurt their feelings.'
Either you risk hurting their feelings,
or you spend the rest of your life diving for cover when they drop on by.
'Shh! They're here! '
Your in-laws?
- 'Shh! Yes.' - Then why don't you...
Oh, for Pete's sake! Just tell them how you feel.
'I will. Next time. I promise. Thanks.'
As Pam belly-crawls across her living room...
let's take a moment for this message from Carpet Fresh.
How's that for a segue?
It's not good to make rude gestures at other drivers.
He cut you off.
You should not antagonise a man
whose bumper sticker says "If you're close enough to read this, I'll kill you."
Big talk from a Volvo.
- You found yourself a new suit. - It's a beaut.
- Let's have a look. - I'll model it for you.
Nice of you to buy your father a new suit.
It didn't work out the way I'd planned but...
What are you doing?
Fluffing your knickers.
If you don't mind my saying so, you're losing some of your elasticity.
I appreciate what you're doing, but a man's knickers are...
Ooh!
How do you get them so soft?
Fabric softener and twice in the fluff cycle.
Keep up the good work.
Hello? Yes. Oh, hi, Niles.
Of course you can come by. Great. I'll see you then.
Hi, Niles.
Thanks for calling first.
I heard your show today.
I wouldn't dream of popping by unannounced.
I was passing by and I've come to beg a favour.
My housekeeper Mary is a fan of your little radio programme.
What she lacks in taste, she makes up for in vigour.
She'd like an autographed photo.
It'd be my pleasure. Daphne, this is my brother Niles.
- You're Daphne? - Yes, I am.
When Frasier told me he'd hired an English woman,
I pictured someone a little more... not quite so...
You're Daphne?
Nice to meet you.
- Lovely accent. Manchester? - How did you know?
I'm quite the Anglophile. I'm sure Frasier and Dad told you.
No.
I spent a year studying at Cambridge.
They didn't mention that either.
I guess they don't talk about me when I'm not around.
I wouldn't say that.
Niles, here's your picture.
Do you mind?
"Mary, here's wishing you good mental health. Frasier Crane."
Fits like a glove. Hi, Niles.
Hey, Dad... Wow.
- How do I look? - Wow.
Dr. Crane took your father to Armani.
That's Armani?
I told you, Frasier. He can't tell the difference.
We were on our way to Armani
when Dad spotted this at a discount store.
It's sharkskin. Look at the way it changes colour when I move my arm.
You'll be the handsomest gent at your friend's retirement party.
- Let's hang it up before it gets wrinkled. - It's supposed to resist wrinkles.
They had one in the window wadded up inside a mayonnaise jar.
Frasier, is he our real father?
We've been having this discussion since we were children.
But that suit!
It's not just the suit. It's his taste in everything - clothing, films, music.
Except our surname and strong calves we have nothing in common with him.
Thank goodness, we took after Mom.
Why didn't he acquire her sophistication?
He was too busy working so we could have the nicer things.
Maybe we should pay him back in some way,
expose him to the finer things
so that he'd stop lumbering through life like some great polyester dinosaur.
Dad's so set in his ways.
We all are at some point. You thought the 1812 Overture
was great classical music.
Was I ever that young?
You and I have to broaden Dad's horizons,
show him the world that he's only read about in TV Guide.
- How about an evening of fine dining? - Perfect. But where?
Le Cigare Volant!
Can we get in? I've been trying for months.
My name carries cachet in this town.
If the maître d' happens to be a housewife, we're in.
Niles, you are so mean.
- I'll just call Information. - No need. I have it on speed dial.
Thank you.
Hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
Yes. The one on the radio.
Any chance of getting a table for four on Saturday, at, say, 8:00?
Merci. A bientôt!
We're in!
Niles, can I get you a beer, pork rinds?
No, thanks.
Dad, Niles and I and Maris would like you to join us for dinner
on Saturday night at Le Cigare Volant, one of the hottest new restaurants.
I don't know.
The food is to die for.
Your country and your family are to die for. Food is to eat.
Thanks, but I wouldn't like it.
How do you know?
I didn't have to get shot in the hip to know I wouldn't like that.
It's a chance to have an evening together as a family.
We really want to do this for you.
All right.
We're going to have the best time!
I can wear my new suit.
And won't that be nice?
How do the calls look today?
Jilted lovers, a man who's afraid of his car,
a manic-depressive and the rest feel their lives are going nowhere.
I love a Monday. How was your weekend?
I had my most hellacious date ever.
He asked me to pick him up from work.
I stop for gas and pump it myself while he reads the sports section.
We go to my place to make sweet and sour shrimp.
I ask him to hand me the honey and he gets this freaked out look
and says he can't because he has a fear of touching anything sticky.
It was a new jar, but he wasn't taking risks.
- Where do you meet these people? - I answered his ad.
- You got 30 seconds. Get in there. - Not yet. Are you ready?
- Oh, no. - We do this every Monday.
- You do this. I play along. - Come on.
- Who's got the best Seattle talk show? - We do! We do!
All right!
Well, aren't you a bobby-dazzler!
I'll go out on a limb and take that as a compliment.
- Where are you off to? - Poker night.
You're a card player?
It's mostly social. Me and the girls just bumping the gums.
No one ever loses more than $500 or $600.
Hi, Niles. Where's Maris?
Are you taking separate elevators again?
Maris is having one of her episodes.
In the middle of dressing for the evening,
she suddenly slumped down on the bed in her half-slip and sighed.
- I knew that dinner was not to be. - Sorry.
I'll make the best of it. Hi-ho, Daphne, you're looking luminous.
- Thank you. - What's in the bag?
A little treat for Dad. Some Devonshire clotted cream.
- For Dad? - I love Devonshire clotted cream.
- Isn't that lucky? You can share it. - I'll pop it in the fridge.
- Sherry, Niles? - Thank you.
I'm having a thought.
Since Maris has dropped out and we have an extra space,
perhaps we should invite Daphne to join us.
It is a table for four,
and three is such an awkward number, you know, at a... at a dinner.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
For goodness' sake, I'm happily married.
Maris means the world to me.
The other day, I kissed her for no reason whatsoever.
I'm off to my poker game. It was nice seeing you again, Dr. Crane.
Wait a minute. I'm getting something on you.
She's psychic. We've decided to find it charming.
You have occasional bouts of colitis, don't you?
Yes.
Frasier, she's phenomenal!
It's a gift. Well, cheerio.
Ta-ta.
You've never had colitis!
I know. I couldn't bear to disappoint her.
OK. I'm ready to go.
Dad, what's happened to your suit?
It's at the cleaners. I got some creamed chicken on it at Phil's retirement dinner.
You can't keep anything nice.
I'm sure Le Cigare Volant has a dress code.
Niles, may I borrow your phone? Thank you.
- Where's Maris? - Episode.
Hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane. I have a reservation tonight
and I'm calling to inquire about your minimum dress code.
Crane. Frasier... Doctor.
What do you mean? They've lost our reservation.
Give me that. This is Dr. Niles Crane. I've never been treated so shabbily.
I could come over and create a scene!
- They've already hung up. - Thank God.
What now? It's Saturday night, 7:45. We won't get in anywhere.
Hey, I know! Why don't I take us all to The Timber Mill?
- The Timber Mill? - You get a steak this thick for $8.95!
It doesn't sound like the kind of restaurant we'd like.
- I was willing to go to your place. - We'd better take a rain check.
I was looking forward to going out with you boys. We'll do it some other time.
I'm sure Daphne's got something in the fridge I can heat up.
- I'm in the mood for a good steak. - What?
The point isn't where we have dinner but that we have an evening together.
You won't be sorry. They've got five toppings for your baked potato.
- Did you hear that, Niles? - I'm sold.
We'll bring you a bone, Eddie.
He's ecstatic.
Quite a place, huh? Used to be a sawmill.
Until somebody stated the obvious
and said, "Hey, let's turn it into a restaurant!"
My mouth is watering.
There's nothing like the smell of charbroiled meat.
This aroma is triggering a sense memory. Something familiar.
Oh, of course. It's Maris and her home tanning bed.
Welcome to The Timber Mill.
Do you have a table for three?
Sure. This way.
- Is this your first visit here? - Yes.
We've got a dress code.
- His suit was at the cleaners. - Not him. You.
Timber!
- My tie! She cut off my tie! - Isn't that great?
- Why did she do that? - They like to keep the place casual.
- You could have mentioned that to us. - And spoil the fun? Ah, cheer up.
- You get a free dessert. - Oh, boy.
I guess you're right, Dad. It's just a tie.
A Hugo Boss tie.
- Can I get you something from the bar? - Oh, dear God, yes.
Stoli Gibson on the rocks with three pearl onions.
If you bring him two or four, he'll send it back.
- And for you? - The same.
I'll have a Ballantine.
A funny thing happened the other day. One of my patients had a Freudian slip.
He was with his wife and meant to say, "Pass the salt."
Instead he said, "You've ruined my life, you blood-sucking shrew."
I'll bet she didn't like that.
No, Dad. She didn't.
How was your buddy's retirement party?
It was great. I really miss those guys. Bad news, though.
Mo Hanson, my old desk captain, was killed in a boating accident.
I'm sorry.
At least he went quick.
Hank Krinski, well, he had three bypasses before he went.
Jimmy Berman had this weird disease. I visited him in the hospital.
When he died, his skin was all yellow. Just wasted away to nothing.
Nice nurse, though. Betty, I think her name was.
I see you're first-timers. This is how it works.
Every entrée comes with soup or a trip to the salad bar. One trip only, please.
Also included is our garlic cheese bread.
- Now you can claim your steaks. - "Claim" them?
You get to pick the cut you want off the beef trolley.
How much extra would I have to pay to get one from the refrigerator?
Just pick your steak.
I'd like a petit fillet mignon very lean, but not so lean that it lacks flavour.
And I don't want it cooked, just lightly seared.
Pink in the middle. Not true pink,
but not a mauve. Something in between,
bearing in mind the slightest error either way, and it's ruined.
OK.
How about you?
Could I see the other side of that one?
Just bring us those three, medium rare, all the fixings.
Come on. There's a lull at the salad bar.
They have the best Thousand Island dressing in town.
I saw the plaque by the cash register.
Here we go. Three Paul Bunyans.
- We've barely touched our salads. - Great service.
With luck, we'll complete our dining experience in 20 minutes.
- I could put this under the heat lamp. - No, no. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Let me know if I can get you anything else.
Thank you
I don't mind you being tough on this place,
but you could be nicer to the waitress.
I'll apologise when she comes with the dessert. Which should be any time now.
Sometimes there's nothing like a good steak.
I wish this was one of those times.
What's wrong?
- I don't mean to complain... - Then don't.
These steaks come from prize beef... What the hell are you doing?
Something's fallen in my potato.
- Those are bacon bits. - I didn't ask for them.
- I ordered all the fixings. - I don't eat bacon. It has nitrates.
They're artificial. They're made out of soy.
They really look out for your health here.
Everybody in this restaurant is enjoying the dinner. Can't you do the same?
Niles?
Is Maris organising the... Arts Council benefit again this year?
- Yes. - Where are they holding it?
They haven't picked a spot yet. Maybe I should tell them about this place.
- I'd like to be a fly on the wall that night. - You wouldn't be the only one.
That's it. I've had enough of you two jackasses.
I've listened to you making cracks about the food.
I've got news for you. People like this place. I like this place.
When you insult this restaurant, you insult me.
I thought you took after your mother, liking the ballet and all that.
But you mother liked a ball game too. She'd even have a hot dog.
She had fancy taste, but she had too much class
to make anyone feel second-rate.
If she saw how you've behaved tonight, she'd be ashamed. I know I am.
- Dad, wait. - I'm going to Duke's for a nightcap.
- Let us take you. - I'll take a cab. I've had enough of you.
Leave the waitress a good tip. She deserves it.
- Niles, say something. - Dad, wait.
The mud pie is coming!
The mud pie is coming.
- I feel terrible. - So do I.
- The sad thing is, he's right about us. - Are we really such snobs?
Do you see anyone else drive their father out into the street to drink?
- We've got to apologise to Dad. - You're right.
Give him a couple of hours. When he gets home, we'll settle this.
Absolutely. We've been just horrid.
Do you think we've lost the ability to appreciate the simple things -
steak, potatoes, fixings?
I'm afraid so.
The thing is, this is good food.
It's not fancy but it's good, wholesome American fare.
You know, as a tribute to Dad,
we should sit here until we've cleaned our plates.
I'm game if you are.
We're going to prove we are not snobs.
Absolutely.
Frasier, look who's here.
Eat your food.
Hey baby, I hear the blues a-calling Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
Quite stylish
And maybe I seem a bit confused Well, maybe... but I got you pegged!
But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
They're calling again
Frasier has left the building.
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Friends - 10x10 - TOW Chandler Gets Caught
Friends - 10x11 - TOW The Stripper Cries
Friends - 10x12 - TOW Phoebes Wedding
Friends - 10x13 - TOW Joey Speaks French
Friends - 10x14 - TOW Princess Consuela
Friends - 3 22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x01 - The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy
Friends - 3x02 - The One Where No Ones Ready
Friends - 3x03 - The One With the Jam
Friends - 3x04 - The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
Friends - 3x05 - The One With Frank Jr
Friends - 3x06 - The One With the Flashback
Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2