Frasier 01x03 - Dinner At Eight
In the Greater Seattle area,
the number is 555-KACL.
Lines are open. Please give us a call.
Who's up next, Roz?
Pam on line four has a family problem.
Hello, Pam.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane. I'm listening.
'Hi. It's my in-laws.
'They drop over all the time
without calling
'and expect us to stop
and entertain them.'
They're your husband's parents.
What does he suggest?
'The other day
he had us drop to the floor
'and stay quiet until they drove away.'
A creative approach,
but hardly a long-term solution.
'I don't want to hurt their feelings.'
Either you risk hurting their feelings,
or you spend the rest of your life
diving for cover when they drop on by.
'Shh! They're here! '
Your in-laws?
- 'Shh! Yes.'
- Then why don't you...
Oh, for Pete's sake!
Just tell them how you feel.
'I will. Next time. I promise. Thanks.'
As Pam belly-crawls
across her living room...
let's take a moment
for this message from Carpet Fresh.
How's that for a segue?
It's not good to make rude gestures
at other drivers.
He cut you off.
You should not antagonise a man
whose bumper sticker says "If you're
close enough to read this, I'll kill you."
Big talk from a Volvo.
- You found yourself a new suit.
- It's a beaut.
- Let's have a look.
- I'll model it for you.
Nice of you to buy
your father a new suit.
It didn't work out
the way I'd planned but...
What are you doing?
Fluffing your knickers.
If you don't mind my saying so,
you're losing some of your elasticity.
I appreciate what you're doing,
but a man's knickers are...
Ooh!
How do you get them so soft?
Fabric softener
and twice in the fluff cycle.
Keep up the good work.
Hello? Yes. Oh, hi, Niles.
Of course you can come by.
Great. I'll see you then.
Hi, Niles.
Thanks for calling first.
I heard your show today.
I wouldn't dream
of popping by unannounced.
I was passing by
and I've come to beg a favour.
My housekeeper Mary is a fan
of your little radio programme.
What she lacks in taste,
she makes up for in vigour.
She'd like an autographed photo.
It'd be my pleasure.
Daphne, this is my brother Niles.
- You're Daphne?
- Yes, I am.
When Frasier told me
he'd hired an English woman,
I pictured someone a little more...
not quite so...
You're Daphne?
Nice to meet you.
- Lovely accent. Manchester?
- How did you know?
I'm quite the Anglophile.
I'm sure Frasier and Dad told you.
No.
I spent a year studying at Cambridge.
They didn't mention that either.
I guess they don't talk about me
when I'm not around.
I wouldn't say that.
Niles, here's your picture.
Do you mind?
"Mary, here's wishing you
good mental health. Frasier Crane."
Fits like a glove. Hi, Niles.
Hey, Dad... Wow.
- How do I look?
- Wow.
Dr. Crane took your father to Armani.
That's Armani?
I told you, Frasier.
He can't tell the difference.
We were on our way to Armani
when Dad spotted this
at a discount store.
It's sharkskin. Look at the way it
changes colour when I move my arm.
You'll be the handsomest gent
at your friend's retirement party.
- Let's hang it up before it gets wrinkled.
- It's supposed to resist wrinkles.
They had one in the window
wadded up inside a mayonnaise jar.
Frasier, is he our real father?
We've been having this discussion
since we were children.
But that suit!
It's not just the suit. It's his taste
in everything - clothing, films, music.
Except our surname and strong calves
we have nothing in common with him.
Thank goodness, we took after Mom.
Why didn't he acquire
her sophistication?
He was too busy working
so we could have the nicer things.
Maybe we should pay him back
in some way,
expose him to the finer things
so that he'd stop lumbering through life
like some great polyester dinosaur.
Dad's so set in his ways.
We all are at some point.
You thought the 1812 Overture
was great classical music.
Was I ever that young?
You and I
have to broaden Dad's horizons,
show him the world that
he's only read about in TV Guide.
- How about an evening of fine dining?
- Perfect. But where?
Le Cigare Volant!
Can we get in?
I've been trying for months.
My name carries cachet in this town.
If the maître d'
happens to be a housewife, we're in.
Niles, you are so mean.
- I'll just call Information.
- No need. I have it on speed dial.
Thank you.
Hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
Yes. The one on the radio.
Any chance of getting a table
for four on Saturday, at, say, 8:00?
Merci. A bientôt!
We're in!
Niles, can I get you a beer, pork rinds?
No, thanks.
Dad, Niles and I and Maris
would like you to join us for dinner
on Saturday night at Le Cigare Volant,
one of the hottest new restaurants.
I don't know.
The food is to die for.
Your country and your family
are to die for. Food is to eat.
Thanks, but I wouldn't like it.
How do you know?
I didn't have to get shot in the hip
to know I wouldn't like that.
It's a chance to have an evening
together as a family.
We really want to do this for you.
All right.
We're going to have the best time!
I can wear my new suit.
And won't that be nice?
How do the calls look today?
Jilted lovers,
a man who's afraid of his car,
a manic-depressive and the rest
feel their lives are going nowhere.
I love a Monday.
How was your weekend?
I had my most hellacious date ever.
He asked me to pick him up from work.
I stop for gas and pump it myself
while he reads the sports section.
We go to my place
to make sweet and sour shrimp.
I ask him to hand me the honey
and he gets this freaked out look
and says he can't because he has
a fear of touching anything sticky.
It was a new jar,
but he wasn't taking risks.
- Where do you meet these people?
- I answered his ad.
- You got 30 seconds. Get in there.
- Not yet. Are you ready?
- Oh, no.
- We do this every Monday.
- You do this. I play along.
- Come on.
- Who's got the best Seattle talk show?
- We do! We do!
All right!
Well, aren't you a bobby-dazzler!
I'll go out on a limb
and take that as a compliment.
- Where are you off to?
- Poker night.
You're a card player?
It's mostly social.
Me and the girls just bumping the gums.
No one ever loses
more than $500 or $600.
Hi, Niles. Where's Maris?
Are you taking
separate elevators again?
Maris is having one of her episodes.
In the middle of dressing
for the evening,
she suddenly slumped down on the bed
in her half-slip and sighed.
- I knew that dinner was not to be.
- Sorry.
I'll make the best of it.
Hi-ho, Daphne, you're looking luminous.
- Thank you.
- What's in the bag?
A little treat for Dad.
Some Devonshire clotted cream.
- For Dad?
- I love Devonshire clotted cream.
- Isn't that lucky? You can share it.
- I'll pop it in the fridge.
- Sherry, Niles?
- Thank you.
I'm having a thought.
Since Maris has dropped out
and we have an extra space,
perhaps we should invite Daphne
to join us.
It is a table for four,
and three is such an awkward number,
you know, at a... at a dinner.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
For goodness' sake,
I'm happily married.
Maris means the world to me.
The other day, I kissed her
for no reason whatsoever.
I'm off to my poker game.
It was nice seeing you again, Dr. Crane.
Wait a minute.
I'm getting something on you.
She's psychic.
We've decided to find it charming.
You have occasional bouts of colitis,
don't you?
Yes.
Frasier, she's phenomenal!
It's a gift. Well, cheerio.
Ta-ta.
You've never had colitis!
I know.
I couldn't bear to disappoint her.
OK. I'm ready to go.
Dad, what's happened to your suit?
It's at the cleaners. I got some creamed
chicken on it at Phil's retirement dinner.
You can't keep anything nice.
I'm sure Le Cigare Volant
has a dress code.
Niles, may I borrow your phone?
Thank you.
- Where's Maris?
- Episode.
Hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
I have a reservation tonight
and I'm calling to inquire
about your minimum dress code.
Crane. Frasier... Doctor.
What do you mean?
They've lost our reservation.
Give me that. This is Dr. Niles Crane.
I've never been treated so shabbily.
I could come over and create a scene!
- They've already hung up.
- Thank God.
What now? It's Saturday night, 7:45.
We won't get in anywhere.
Hey, I know! Why don't I take us all
to The Timber Mill?
- The Timber Mill?
- You get a steak this thick for $8.95!
It doesn't sound like
the kind of restaurant we'd like.
- I was willing to go to your place.
- We'd better take a rain check.
I was looking forward to going out with
you boys. We'll do it some other time.
I'm sure Daphne's got something
in the fridge I can heat up.
- I'm in the mood for a good steak.
- What?
The point isn't where we have dinner
but that we have an evening together.
You won't be sorry. They've got
five toppings for your baked potato.
- Did you hear that, Niles?
- I'm sold.
We'll bring you a bone, Eddie.
He's ecstatic.
Quite a place, huh?
Used to be a sawmill.
Until somebody stated the obvious
and said,
"Hey, let's turn it into a restaurant!"
My mouth is watering.
There's nothing like
the smell of charbroiled meat.
This aroma is triggering
a sense memory. Something familiar.
Oh, of course.
It's Maris and her home tanning bed.
Welcome to The Timber Mill.
Do you have a table for three?
Sure. This way.
- Is this your first visit here?
- Yes.
We've got a dress code.
- His suit was at the cleaners.
- Not him. You.
Timber!
- My tie! She cut off my tie!
- Isn't that great?
- Why did she do that?
- They like to keep the place casual.
- You could have mentioned that to us.
- And spoil the fun? Ah, cheer up.
- You get a free dessert.
- Oh, boy.
I guess you're right, Dad. It's just a tie.
A Hugo Boss tie.
- Can I get you something from the bar?
- Oh, dear God, yes.
Stoli Gibson on the rocks
with three pearl onions.
If you bring him two or four,
he'll send it back.
- And for you?
- The same.
I'll have a Ballantine.
A funny thing happened the other day.
One of my patients had a Freudian slip.
He was with his wife
and meant to say, "Pass the salt."
Instead he said, "You've ruined my life,
you blood-sucking shrew."
I'll bet she didn't like that.
No, Dad. She didn't.
How was your buddy's
retirement party?
It was great. I really miss those guys.
Bad news, though.
Mo Hanson, my old desk captain,
was killed in a boating accident.
I'm sorry.
At least he went quick.
Hank Krinski, well, he had three
bypasses before he went.
Jimmy Berman had this weird disease.
I visited him in the hospital.
When he died, his skin was all yellow.
Just wasted away to nothing.
Nice nurse, though.
Betty, I think her name was.
I see you're first-timers.
This is how it works.
Every entrée comes with soup or a trip
to the salad bar. One trip only, please.
Also included
is our garlic cheese bread.
- Now you can claim your steaks.
- "Claim" them?
You get to pick the cut you want
off the beef trolley.
How much extra would I have to pay
to get one from the refrigerator?
Just pick your steak.
I'd like a petit fillet mignon very lean,
but not so lean that it lacks flavour.
And I don't want it cooked,
just lightly seared.
Pink in the middle. Not true pink,
but not a mauve.
Something in between,
bearing in mind the slightest error
either way, and it's ruined.
OK.
How about you?
Could I see the other side of that one?
Just bring us those three, medium rare,
all the fixings.
Come on. There's a lull at the salad bar.
They have the best
Thousand Island dressing in town.
I saw the plaque by the cash register.
Here we go. Three Paul Bunyans.
- We've barely touched our salads.
- Great service.
With luck, we'll complete
our dining experience in 20 minutes.
- I could put this under the heat lamp.
- No, no. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Let me know
if I can get you anything else.
Thank you
I don't mind you being tough
on this place,
but you could be nicer to the waitress.
I'll apologise when she comes with the
dessert. Which should be any time now.
Sometimes there's nothing
like a good steak.
I wish this was one of those times.
What's wrong?
- I don't mean to complain...
- Then don't.
These steaks come from prize beef...
What the hell are you doing?
Something's fallen in my potato.
- Those are bacon bits.
- I didn't ask for them.
- I ordered all the fixings.
- I don't eat bacon. It has nitrates.
They're artificial.
They're made out of soy.
They really
look out for your health here.
Everybody in this restaurant is enjoying
the dinner. Can't you do the same?
Niles?
Is Maris organising the... Arts Council
benefit again this year?
- Yes.
- Where are they holding it?
They haven't picked a spot yet. Maybe
I should tell them about this place.
- I'd like to be a fly on the wall that night.
- You wouldn't be the only one.
That's it. I've had enough
of you two jackasses.
I've listened to you making cracks
about the food.
I've got news for you.
People like this place. I like this place.
When you insult this restaurant,
you insult me.
I thought you took after your mother,
liking the ballet and all that.
But you mother liked a ball game too.
She'd even have a hot dog.
She had fancy taste,
but she had too much class
to make anyone feel second-rate.
If she saw how you've behaved tonight,
she'd be ashamed. I know I am.
- Dad, wait.
- I'm going to Duke's for a nightcap.
- Let us take you.
- I'll take a cab. I've had enough of you.
Leave the waitress a good tip.
She deserves it.
- Niles, say something.
- Dad, wait.
The mud pie is coming!
The mud pie is coming.
- I feel terrible.
- So do I.
- The sad thing is, he's right about us.
- Are we really such snobs?
Do you see anyone else drive
their father out into the street to drink?
- We've got to apologise to Dad.
- You're right.
Give him a couple of hours.
When he gets home, we'll settle this.
Absolutely. We've been just horrid.
Do you think we've lost the ability
to appreciate the simple things -
steak, potatoes, fixings?
I'm afraid so.
The thing is, this is good food.
It's not fancy but
it's good, wholesome American fare.
You know, as a tribute to Dad,
we should
sit here until we've cleaned our plates.
I'm game if you are.
We're going to prove we are not snobs.
Absolutely.
Frasier, look who's here.
Eat your food.
Hey baby, I hear the blues a-calling
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
Quite stylish
And maybe I seem a bit confused
Well, maybe... but I got you pegged!
But I don't know what to do with those
tossed salads and scrambled eggs
They're calling again
Frasier has left the building.
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3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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