Frasier 01x09 - Selling Out
'I had a really good year.
So why not reward myself?
'So I bought a 48ft cabin cruiser.
'I'll tell you how much it cost me,
'300 grand plus $20,000
for the custom teak decking.
'My problem is
that my wife wants to call
'this incredible vessel "Lullubelle",
after her mother.
"'Lullubelle!"
I want to call it "The Intrepid".
'So, what do you think,
"Lullubelle" or "The Intrepid"? '
At Cornell University, they have an
incredible piece of equipment known as
the "tunnelling electron microscope."
This microscope is so powerful
that by firing electrons,
you can actually see
images of the atom,
the minute building block
of our universe.
If I were using
that microscope right now,
I still wouldn't be able to locate
my interest in your problem.
Thank you for your call.
And now,
"Hungry for Chinese? I always..."
I'm sorry.
We're experiencing technical difficulty.
Let's go to a pre-recorded
commercial message.
What's this?
I don't do personal endorsements.
- The other personalities do them.
- They aren't doctors.
If I allow myself to become a pitchman,
I lose all my credibility.
I am a wise man, a shaman.
Zip up your fly, wise man.
Whoa! Doc, this is a radio studio,
not a bus terminal.
Look who's here, Noël Coward.
I hate to mix business with revulsion but
Frasier, as usual, will not do this promo.
Love to, no problem.
Doc, with all due respect,
you're an idiot.
These promos are easy money.
It's a question of integrity.
Integrity. Hello!
We're talking mucho dinero.
But the more you turn these down,
the more Liver Snaps for the Bulldog.
What is this with my name on it?
The Hunan Palace gig contract.
It's how much they'd pay you.
- I'll change the name to "Bulldog".
- They pay you that much to read copy?
Yes. Bulldog adds his special touch.
You will come,
chop chop to Hunan Palace,
where Peking duck
is always extra crispy.
We're gonna get sued
this time for sure.
Damn it! Put a dent in my bumper
when I pulled into my parking space.
What happened to the tennis ball
I hung over my space
so I wouldn't pull up too far?
He was bored. He needed a toy.
Go ahead and throw it.
He'll run and get it for you.
He didn't think that was funny
and he knows where you sleep.
A situation has arisen over at work,
I'm not sure how it should be handled.
Maybe your objective viewpoint
could be helpful.
Sure.
Should I publicly endorse a product?
Oh, you mean like Cher does?
Thank you, one against. Dad?
- What's the product?
- It's for a Chinese restaurant.
What's the problem?
I hold a position of trust
in the community.
People do what I tell them to
and I could be accused of abusing that.
The thought of a doctor
selling things is distasteful.
What about
Dr. Sneezy's cold medicine?
Dr. Sneezy is a cartoon character.
The fact that he's a giant purple hippo
should have tipped you off.
Take the money and run.
I'm tempted, mainly to keep Bulldog
from alienating
the Asian-American community.
I'd hate to compromise my principles.
You've dedicated your life
to helping people, haven't you?
Yes.
If your listeners were in a quandary
over where to buy good Chinese food,
your commercial would help them.
Try the food, if you like it,
do the commercial.
That's logical.
Why don't we all go tonight?
I better make the reservations
under a different name.
I don't want any special treatment.
I want to be treated like
I'm just an average working Joe.
Good evening. Yes, yes.
We'd like a reservation
for three at 8:00.
Oh, nothing till 10:00? Oh.
Well, then, uh...
This is Dr. Frasier Crane,
from the radio and...
Yes, I thought you might.
Thank you.
We're in at 9:45.
Did I say tasty? Tasty doesn't do justice
to those succulent pot stickers.
And the Kung Pao chicken.
Ooh, don't get me started.
So if you've got a yen for Chinese,
hurry to the Hunan Palace.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane
hoping we'll see you tomorrow
on KACL 780AM.
I'm getting the knack for these promos.
Did you hear my "yen" ad lib?
Yeah. By the way,
"yen" is Japanese, not Chinese.
I got a call from the Hunan palace
the other day.
- Isn't that what advertising does?
- Yes, it is, Miss Sour Britches.
Give me a little credit.
I please the boys upstairs,
I got people to try a new restaurant,
and I've helped
a struggling immigrant family
who came to these shores
12 years ago
with little more than a dream,
a few recipes and a wok.
- Dr. Crane, what a privilege this is.
- Excuse me?
- Bebe Glazer, Bulldog Brisco's agent.
- Pleasure meeting you.
I'm usually not this forward,
but I know nobody represents you.
How would you feel about signing on
with me as a client?
- No, I don't think so.
- Why?
I am flattered. But I'm not really
a radio personality per se.
I've heard those spots
you've done for that restaurant.
You make me want to stuff my face
full of egg rolls and... I don't know what.
Thank you, eh...
but, I dine
at the Hunan Palace frequently
that's why I did those commercials.
I don't want you to advertise
something you don't believe in.
- I am an agent, not a pimp.
- I don't mean to offend...
- You're terrific. Here's my card.
- That's not necessary...
Give me back my card.
It is too refreshing to meet someone
not seduced by the almighty dollar.
I would refuse your call.
I've got to go, flying to Palo Alto.
My daughter's at Stanford.
Ah. Wait.
You don't have kids, do you?
- I have a five-year-old son.
- You won't have to worry about it yet.
- Worry about what?
- Tuition, innocent.
Ah, you're going to send him
to a state college.
No, I had planned to send him
to my alma mater, Harvard.
Ouch. Kiss it and make it better.
Have you seen the projections
for college costs the year 2010?
I've got to go.
That plane is not going to wait for me.
Maybe we should talk sometime.
Let's talk now.
I think I can die peacefully
without seeing the Stanford-Cal game.
I don't object to doing commercials,
but I'd have to try a product first
before I could endorse it.
Dr. Crane,
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Why am I here?
If I do the commercial, I have to say
my friends and family enjoy this.
I feel silly in this showroom.
I apologise,
but it's the best place to try.
Aren't you enjoying this?
I do like the bubbles.
It's a little like sitting in hot champagne.
Not that I've done that very much.
It's made from the same space-age
polymer as the NASA space shuttles?
Next time I'm re-entering the Earth's
atmosphere in a hot tub, I won't worry.
Well, do you like it?
It is making my hip feel a little better.
So my friends like it,
my family likes it, I like it.
I can do the commercial
and Frederick can go to Harvard.
Oh, my God, isn't that Dave Hendler
from our building?
You know he's the head of
the Seattle Psychiatric Association!
- That's not Dave Hendler.
- Shh, don't worry about it.
Enjoy the quiet while you can.
'Gentle, soothing bubbles,
bubbles that will ease your aching body.
'This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
In these pressure-packed times,
'what could be better than a relaxing dip
in a Redwood hot tub?
'Let Redwood's patented 'Ultra-Blow'
air system surround your body.
- 'My family and friends like it.'
- That's us.
'If you act quickly, you'll receive
a complimentary scum guard.
'Hurry to your local Redwood hot tub
dealer. Say Frasier Crane sent you'
- What did you think?
- I could almost smell the chlorine.
- Dad, how about you?
- I liked it.
- You REALLY liked it?
- No, I liked it.
- What was wrong with it?
- Nothing!
- You hated it?
- Yeah.
- Hello, darling.
- Bebe!
Mea culpa
for dropping by unannounced
you'll kiss me
when you hear what I've done.
Oh...
Hello.
No, no, this is Daphne Moon,
my father's physical therapist.
Oh!
So, I was about
to kiss you for something.
Well, I got a very attractive offer
for you to be a product spokesman
and we know they're serious,
cos it's "pay or play".
You get your money
whether you do it or not.
- Listen.
- How do you know?
I must confess,
there is a chapter of my life
I haven't told you or your father about.
When I was 12,
I starred in a TV show in England.
- I'll leave you to your business.
- Get back here. You what?
I starred in a TV series.
It was quite popular in it's day.
Maybe you've heard of it,
"Mind Your Knickers"?
It was about a group of high-spirited
ethnically diverse
12-year-olds in a girls private school.
I played Emma, the short, spunky one.
By the end of the series,
I was 16, 5ft 10in,
and they had my boozies
bound up tighter than a mummy.
Well, I'm off.
The woman is like an artichoke.
You just keep peeling away
one astounding leaf after another.
Back to business. What have you got?
Voila Emery's nuts!
No, I can't endorse these.
- Why not?
- I don't like them.
- Of course they do, they're nuts.
- Sorry, I'm afraid I can't.
Well...
I will just tell them they can take their
five-figure deal and find someone else.
- Five figures.
- This is for TV, the Big Kahuna.
Television.
But I understand if you have a problem.
Well, I... I...
I don't mean to be difficult.
I only endorse things I like
or that are therapeutic, like the hot tub.
Let me pinch you. You're not real!
Well...
But still, I wonder if you're not being
just the tiniest bit short-sighted.
Research has shown
that a single TV commercial
can turn an obscure radio personality
into a national celebrity!
A year from now, you could be
broadcasting your message of healing
not just to the Pacific Northwest
but to the entire nation.
But, of course,
there's not much I can do about it
if you don't like the product.
You can't be serious.
That's a nose people trust.
Your script! Thanks Jeff.
I've seen it. You're going to love it.
"Two nuts are arguing with each other."
"I'm a nut." "No, I'm a nut."
That's funny.
"Hold it. You're both nuts.
I'm Dr. Frasier Crane, a psychiatrist,
and I know a nut when I see one."
I don't know about that line.
- Oh. What's wrong? It's a scream.
- Maybe, but it's...
What's the word I'm looking for?
What, "tuition",
"retirement beach house"?
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. It's just
that I want so much for you.
I don't mean to be difficult,
but I'm not comfortable with this line.
Frasier, Frasier, Frasier.
- How long have we been together?
- Six days.
Would I ever have you do something
you were uncomfortable with?
It's wonderful because you're showing
that psychiatrists can be loose,
making shrinks
more accessible to people.
So I'd be doing psychiatry a service?
You have a way of cutting through
the baloney that knocks me out cold.
Oh dear, what does this mean,
"Frasier comes out of his shell"?
It's a... A technical term...
it's a lighting thing.
You see, you come out of your shadow
or your shell, into the light.
I have so much to learn
about this business.
Niles, I have to talk to you.
What's that ridiculous tissue?
They didn't tell me I could take it off,
so I kept it on.
Silly me,
I thought it was to grab attention
so people say, "Are you an actor?"
Affording you the opportunity
to say you are an actor
and then crow, gloat and strut
in a way you could not otherwise do.
And the reason you have "shrink"
on your licence plate would be?
I have this commercial in half an hour,
I don't think I can go through with it.
I'm afraid
I'm compromising my integrity.
- Why do you feel like that?
- My co-stars are almonds and walnuts.
Listen Niles, I need your guidance.
- I don't see this as a problem.
- This isn't selling out?
Oh, no. You sold out a long time ago.
Your call-in show was selling out.
You are such a purist.
OK, I can't do in-depth analysis,
but my show
helps thousands of people.
You talk about wanting to safeguard
your professional dignity.
When you went on the air,
you left medicine for show biz.
Like that movie star
who let everyone look up her skirt
then complained
nobody took her seriously.
- That has nothing to do with it.
- Have you seen that movie?
Maris and I rented the video.
I don't mind telling you
we pushed our beds together that night.
And that was no mean feat.
Her room is across the hall.
Just tell me, would you do it?
A nude scene?
If it were integral to...
No! This commercial!
No, I'm a respected psychiatrist.
You mean I shouldn't do it?
No. I'm saying it doesn't matter.
They've already looked up your skirt
and they've seen
everything there is to see.
What are you still doing up?
Oh, geez, you're not watching that tape
of that dumb commercial again!
I can't get it off my mind.
Did I do the right thing?
Of course, Freddy will thank you for it.
Watch it with me one more time.
'I'm a nut.'
'No, I'm a nut.'
- ' No, I'm a nut.'
- 'I'm a nut.'
'Stop! You're both nuts.
'I'm a psychologist,
Dr. Joyce Brothers.
'I'm here to tell you
that I'm just crazy about Emery's nuts.
'So, if you're crazy about nuts too,
pick up a can of Emery's today.
'Emery's, the nut lover's nut.'
I suppose you're right. Dad.
Freddy will thank me.
Dr. Joyce is his favourite psychologist.
I remember Dr. Joyce
from "The Hollywood Squares".
She was always under Charlie Weaver.
No, Weaver was always on the bottom.
No, let's see,
Paul Lynde was in the middle.
George Gobel was on the end
and where was Wally Cox?
Wally Cox... upper left
next to Rose Marie to block.
Hey baby, I hear the blues a-calling
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
Quite stylish
Maybe I seem a bit confused,
Well, maybe... but I got you pegged!
But I don't know what to do with those
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
They're calling again
Good night, everybody!
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5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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