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Frasier 01x09 - Selling Out

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'I had a really good year. So why not reward myself?
'So I bought a 48ft cabin cruiser.
'I'll tell you how much it cost me,
'300 grand plus $20,000 for the custom teak decking.
'My problem is that my wife wants to call
'this incredible vessel "Lullubelle", after her mother.
"'Lullubelle!" I want to call it "The Intrepid".
'So, what do you think, "Lullubelle" or "The Intrepid"? '
At Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of equipment known as
the "tunnelling electron microscope."
This microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons,
you can actually see images of the atom,
the minute building block of our universe.
If I were using that microscope right now,
I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem.
Thank you for your call.
And now, "Hungry for Chinese? I always..."
I'm sorry. We're experiencing technical difficulty.
Let's go to a pre-recorded commercial message.
What's this? I don't do personal endorsements.
- The other personalities do them. - They aren't doctors.
If I allow myself to become a pitchman, I lose all my credibility.
I am a wise man, a shaman.
Zip up your fly, wise man.
Whoa! Doc, this is a radio studio, not a bus terminal.
Look who's here, Noël Coward.
I hate to mix business with revulsion but Frasier, as usual, will not do this promo.
Love to, no problem.
Doc, with all due respect, you're an idiot.
These promos are easy money.
It's a question of integrity.
Integrity. Hello!
We're talking mucho dinero.
But the more you turn these down, the more Liver Snaps for the Bulldog.
What is this with my name on it?
The Hunan Palace gig contract. It's how much they'd pay you.
- I'll change the name to "Bulldog". - They pay you that much to read copy?
Yes. Bulldog adds his special touch.
You will come, chop chop to Hunan Palace,
where Peking duck is always extra crispy.
We're gonna get sued this time for sure.
Damn it! Put a dent in my bumper when I pulled into my parking space.
What happened to the tennis ball I hung over my space
so I wouldn't pull up too far?
He was bored. He needed a toy.
Go ahead and throw it. He'll run and get it for you.
He didn't think that was funny and he knows where you sleep.
A situation has arisen over at work,
I'm not sure how it should be handled.
Maybe your objective viewpoint could be helpful.
Sure.
Should I publicly endorse a product?
Oh, you mean like Cher does?
Thank you, one against. Dad?
- What's the product? - It's for a Chinese restaurant.
What's the problem?
I hold a position of trust in the community.
People do what I tell them to and I could be accused of abusing that.
The thought of a doctor selling things is distasteful.
What about Dr. Sneezy's cold medicine?
Dr. Sneezy is a cartoon character.
The fact that he's a giant purple hippo should have tipped you off.
Take the money and run.
I'm tempted, mainly to keep Bulldog
from alienating the Asian-American community.
I'd hate to compromise my principles.
You've dedicated your life to helping people, haven't you?
Yes.
If your listeners were in a quandary over where to buy good Chinese food,
your commercial would help them.
Try the food, if you like it, do the commercial.
That's logical. Why don't we all go tonight?
I better make the reservations under a different name.
I don't want any special treatment.
I want to be treated like I'm just an average working Joe.
Good evening. Yes, yes.
We'd like a reservation for three at 8:00.
Oh, nothing till 10:00? Oh.
Well, then, uh...
This is Dr. Frasier Crane,
from the radio and...
Yes, I thought you might. Thank you.
We're in at 9:45.
Did I say tasty? Tasty doesn't do justice to those succulent pot stickers.
And the Kung Pao chicken. Ooh, don't get me started.
So if you've got a yen for Chinese, hurry to the Hunan Palace.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane hoping we'll see you tomorrow
on KACL 780AM.
I'm getting the knack for these promos. Did you hear my "yen" ad lib?
Yeah. By the way, "yen" is Japanese, not Chinese.
I got a call from the Hunan palace the other day.
- Isn't that what advertising does? - Yes, it is, Miss Sour Britches.
Give me a little credit.
I please the boys upstairs, I got people to try a new restaurant,
and I've helped a struggling immigrant family
who came to these shores 12 years ago
with little more than a dream, a few recipes and a wok.
- Dr. Crane, what a privilege this is. - Excuse me?
- Bebe Glazer, Bulldog Brisco's agent. - Pleasure meeting you.
I'm usually not this forward, but I know nobody represents you.
How would you feel about signing on with me as a client?
- No, I don't think so. - Why?
I am flattered. But I'm not really a radio personality per se.
I've heard those spots you've done for that restaurant.
You make me want to stuff my face full of egg rolls and... I don't know what.
Thank you, eh...
but, I dine at the Hunan Palace frequently
that's why I did those commercials.
I don't want you to advertise something you don't believe in.
- I am an agent, not a pimp. - I don't mean to offend...
- You're terrific. Here's my card. - That's not necessary...
Give me back my card.
It is too refreshing to meet someone
not seduced by the almighty dollar. I would refuse your call.
I've got to go, flying to Palo Alto. My daughter's at Stanford.
Ah. Wait. You don't have kids, do you?
- I have a five-year-old son. - You won't have to worry about it yet.
- Worry about what? - Tuition, innocent.
Ah, you're going to send him to a state college.
No, I had planned to send him to my alma mater, Harvard.
Ouch. Kiss it and make it better.
Have you seen the projections for college costs the year 2010?
I've got to go. That plane is not going to wait for me.
Maybe we should talk sometime.
Let's talk now.
I think I can die peacefully without seeing the Stanford-Cal game.
I don't object to doing commercials,
but I'd have to try a product first before I could endorse it.
Dr. Crane, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Why am I here?
If I do the commercial, I have to say my friends and family enjoy this.
I feel silly in this showroom.
I apologise, but it's the best place to try.
Aren't you enjoying this?
I do like the bubbles.
It's a little like sitting in hot champagne. Not that I've done that very much.
It's made from the same space-age polymer as the NASA space shuttles?
Next time I'm re-entering the Earth's atmosphere in a hot tub, I won't worry.
Well, do you like it?
It is making my hip feel a little better.
So my friends like it, my family likes it, I like it.
I can do the commercial and Frederick can go to Harvard.
Oh, my God, isn't that Dave Hendler from our building?
You know he's the head of the Seattle Psychiatric Association!
- That's not Dave Hendler. - Shh, don't worry about it.
Enjoy the quiet while you can.
'Gentle, soothing bubbles, bubbles that will ease your aching body.
'This is Dr. Frasier Crane. In these pressure-packed times,
'what could be better than a relaxing dip in a Redwood hot tub?
'Let Redwood's patented 'Ultra-Blow' air system surround your body.
- 'My family and friends like it.' - That's us.
'If you act quickly, you'll receive a complimentary scum guard.
'Hurry to your local Redwood hot tub dealer. Say Frasier Crane sent you'
- What did you think? - I could almost smell the chlorine.
- Dad, how about you? - I liked it.
- You REALLY liked it? - No, I liked it.
- What was wrong with it? - Nothing!
- You hated it? - Yeah.
- Hello, darling. - Bebe!
Mea culpa for dropping by unannounced
you'll kiss me when you hear what I've done.
Oh...
Hello.
No, no, this is Daphne Moon, my father's physical therapist.
Oh!
So, I was about to kiss you for something.
Well, I got a very attractive offer for you to be a product spokesman
and we know they're serious, cos it's "pay or play".
You get your money whether you do it or not.
- Listen. - How do you know?
I must confess, there is a chapter of my life
I haven't told you or your father about.
When I was 12, I starred in a TV show in England.
- I'll leave you to your business. - Get back here. You what?
I starred in a TV series. It was quite popular in it's day.
Maybe you've heard of it, "Mind Your Knickers"?
It was about a group of high-spirited ethnically diverse
12-year-olds in a girls private school.
I played Emma, the short, spunky one.
By the end of the series, I was 16, 5ft 10in,
and they had my boozies bound up tighter than a mummy.
Well, I'm off.
The woman is like an artichoke.
You just keep peeling away one astounding leaf after another.
Back to business. What have you got?
Voila Emery's nuts!
No, I can't endorse these.
- Why not? - I don't like them.
- Of course they do, they're nuts. - Sorry, I'm afraid I can't.
Well...
I will just tell them they can take their five-figure deal and find someone else.
- Five figures. - This is for TV, the Big Kahuna.
Television.
But I understand if you have a problem.
Well, I... I... I don't mean to be difficult.
I only endorse things I like or that are therapeutic, like the hot tub.
Let me pinch you. You're not real!
Well...
But still, I wonder if you're not being
just the tiniest bit short-sighted.
Research has shown that a single TV commercial
can turn an obscure radio personality into a national celebrity!
A year from now, you could be broadcasting your message of healing
not just to the Pacific Northwest but to the entire nation.
But, of course, there's not much I can do about it
if you don't like the product.
You can't be serious. That's a nose people trust.
Your script! Thanks Jeff.
I've seen it. You're going to love it.
"Two nuts are arguing with each other."
"I'm a nut." "No, I'm a nut."
That's funny.
"Hold it. You're both nuts. I'm Dr. Frasier Crane, a psychiatrist,
and I know a nut when I see one."
I don't know about that line.
- Oh. What's wrong? It's a scream. - Maybe, but it's...
What's the word I'm looking for?
What, "tuition", "retirement beach house"?
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. It's just that I want so much for you.
I don't mean to be difficult, but I'm not comfortable with this line.
Frasier, Frasier, Frasier.
- How long have we been together? - Six days.
Would I ever have you do something you were uncomfortable with?
It's wonderful because you're showing that psychiatrists can be loose,
making shrinks more accessible to people.
So I'd be doing psychiatry a service?
You have a way of cutting through the baloney that knocks me out cold.
Oh dear, what does this mean, "Frasier comes out of his shell"?
It's a... A technical term... it's a lighting thing.
You see, you come out of your shadow or your shell, into the light.
I have so much to learn about this business.
Niles, I have to talk to you.
What's that ridiculous tissue?
They didn't tell me I could take it off, so I kept it on.
Silly me, I thought it was to grab attention
so people say, "Are you an actor?"
Affording you the opportunity to say you are an actor
and then crow, gloat and strut in a way you could not otherwise do.
And the reason you have "shrink" on your licence plate would be?
I have this commercial in half an hour,
I don't think I can go through with it.
I'm afraid I'm compromising my integrity.
- Why do you feel like that? - My co-stars are almonds and walnuts.
Listen Niles, I need your guidance.
- I don't see this as a problem. - This isn't selling out?
Oh, no. You sold out a long time ago.
Your call-in show was selling out.
You are such a purist.
OK, I can't do in-depth analysis,
but my show helps thousands of people.
You talk about wanting to safeguard your professional dignity.
When you went on the air, you left medicine for show biz.
Like that movie star who let everyone look up her skirt
then complained nobody took her seriously.
- That has nothing to do with it. - Have you seen that movie?
Maris and I rented the video.
I don't mind telling you we pushed our beds together that night.
And that was no mean feat. Her room is across the hall.
Just tell me, would you do it?
A nude scene? If it were integral to...
No! This commercial!
No, I'm a respected psychiatrist.
You mean I shouldn't do it?
No. I'm saying it doesn't matter.
They've already looked up your skirt
and they've seen everything there is to see.
What are you still doing up?
Oh, geez, you're not watching that tape of that dumb commercial again!
I can't get it off my mind. Did I do the right thing?
Of course, Freddy will thank you for it.
Watch it with me one more time.
'I'm a nut.'
'No, I'm a nut.'
- ' No, I'm a nut.' - 'I'm a nut.'
'Stop! You're both nuts.
'I'm a psychologist, Dr. Joyce Brothers.
'I'm here to tell you that I'm just crazy about Emery's nuts.
'So, if you're crazy about nuts too, pick up a can of Emery's today.
'Emery's, the nut lover's nut.'
I suppose you're right. Dad. Freddy will thank me.
Dr. Joyce is his favourite psychologist.
I remember Dr. Joyce from "The Hollywood Squares".
She was always under Charlie Weaver.
No, Weaver was always on the bottom.
No, let's see, Paul Lynde was in the middle.
George Gobel was on the end and where was Wally Cox?
Wally Cox... upper left next to Rose Marie to block.
Hey baby, I hear the blues a-calling Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
Quite stylish
Maybe I seem a bit confused, Well, maybe... but I got you pegged!
But I don't know what to do with those Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
They're calling again Good night, everybody!
Face 2004
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Fallen
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Fame
Family Guy 01x01 - Death Has a Shadow
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Farscape - 2x21 - Liars Guns and Money III - Plan B
Farscape - 2x22 - Die Me Dichotomy
Farscape - 3x01 - Season Of Death
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Farscape - 3x03 - Self Inflicted Wounds I - Coulda Woulda Shoulda
Farscape - 3x04 - Self Inflicted Wounds II - Wait For The Wheel
Farscape - 3x05 - Different Destinations
Farscape - 3x06 - Eat Me
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Farscape - 3x15 - Infinite Possibilities II - Icarus Abides
Farscape - 3x16 - Revenging Angel
Farscape - 3x17 - The Choice
Farscape - 3x18 - Fractures
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Farscape - 3x20 - Into The Lions Den I - Lambs To The Slaugher
Farscape - 3x21 - Into The Lions Den II - Wolf In Sheeps Clothing
Farscape - 3x22 - Dog With Two Bones
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Farscape - 4x02 - What Was Lost (Part 1) - Sacrifice
Farscape - 4x03 - What Was Lost (Part 2) - Resurrection
Farscape - 4x04 - Lavas A Many Splendored Thing
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Frasier 01x06 - The Crucible
Frasier 01x07 - Call Me Irresponsible
Frasier 01x08 - Beloved Infidel
Frasier 01x09 - Selling Out
Frasier 01x10 - Oops
Frasier 01x12 - Miracle On Third Or Fourth Street
Frasier 02x01 - Slow Tango in South Seattle
Frasier 02x02 - The Unkindest Cut of All
Frasier 02x03 - Commentary by Director David Lee and Writer Joe Keenan
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Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2