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Frasier 02x12 - Roz in the Doghouse

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(Woman) 'You see, Dr Crane, there's this man l'd like to go out with,
'but he's 40 and he's never been married.
'Does that mean something? '
lt could mean he has a fear of commitment
or it could mean he's just been lucky.
Marie, that was a joke.
(Marie ) 'Did l mention l'm calling from a payphone? '
All right, Marie, l would say,
give him a shot, but l'd keep that caution bulb lit.
Thank you for your call. Who's next?
lf someone's never been married, it might mean they're a careful shopper.
A divorcÚ will bite into any piece of fruit without squeezing it first.
That was an unbiased opinion from my unmarried producer, Roz,
who, incidentally, has squeezed more fruit than Tropicana.
May we take another call?
lt's time for a station break.
Then we'll be right back after this.
- Didn't we just take a break? - l'm parked at a meter. l'll be back.
Do l have headphone hair? l may have to flirt my way out of a ticket.
- Are you all right? - l got winded but l'm OK.
- Ow! My ankle! - Here, Roz, does this hurt?
- No nerve damage. - She should have an x-ray.
- Frasier, the show! - l'll get someone to fill in.
No, now! You've got dead air! Ow!
- Take the shoe off. - Oh!
- Oh, dear! - What is it?
lt's been a while since our last pedicure.
(Door knocks)
- Who is it? - Frasier.
How were things at the emergency room?
Frustrating. You know how it is. You're sitting there in agony
and every crybaby with a gunshot waltzes in ahead of you.
- How was it after l left? - Weird Bruce took over for you.
That's quite a boot collection. Why not put notches in your bedpost?
Those are mine. You hate the way l've decorated, don't you?
No, no. As a matter of fact, l admire your courage.
- ls that for me? - Yes.
Freud said all we need to be happy is work and love.
Oh, thanks, Frasier!
So you brought me work.
Answering the fan mail is something to do.
Remember, this time, death threats don't get photos.
(Door knocks)
- Who is it? - lt's Bulldog!
- Pretend we're not here. - Roz, you just said, ''Who is it?''
- Hey, Doc. - Hey, Dog.
Hey, Roz. Wow! The whole place is a bedroom!
- What are you doing here? - l brought some deli.
Nothing says ''l'm sorry'' like fatty meat.
You got pastrami, coleslaw... OK, where's the French fries?
l ordered fries! This stinks! This is total BS!
That apron boy is... Oh! Here they are.
To think he does it all without steroids.
- Shall l stick these in the oven? - l'm not hungry.
- Then you're not thirsty. - Glasses are on the top shelf.
- None for me. l'm off to the opera. - You can't leave!
- No ice cubes! - Chip what you can off the freezer.
- lf you leave, he'll hit on me. - With a sprained ankle?
lt's like in the jungle, they go after the sick and the lame.
l'm meeting people at the opera. l've got the tickets.
Here we go. l'll get you more ice when the feeling in my forehead comes back.
Curtain going up. Roz, if you need anything, call me absolutely any time.
Except the next three hours. l'm at the opera.
No, four hours. lt's Wagner.
Then l've got a late supper, bed, an early squash game.
Call me absolutely any time after 4:00 tomorrow afternoon.
Hey, this is nice, you and me having a drink together.
Yeah, it's been fun. Bye.
- Why did you paint only two toenails? - lt hurts when l reach.
- You want me to finish them? - No, please. lt's OK.
- Nice colour. Goes with the bruise. - Bulldog, stop it!
- You've got nice feet. - You don't think they're too big?
l could get this whole thing in my mouth, easy.
lt's really nice to do all this for me.
Kind of surreal, but nice.
l figure if l'm nice to you, maybe you'll be nice to me.
l knew it! You come over here acting all sympathetic,
but you're the same horny, low-class slime ball as ever!
Hey, before you say something that offends me...
Look, all l wanted to ask you
is if you'd be interested in producing my show.
- What? - l'm not crazy about my producer.
Let's face it, you're the best.
- You think so? - That goes without saying.
Frasier goes without saying it.
Don't answer now. Take your time and think about it.
But l warn you - when l set my mind on something, l get it.
l once wanted to interview George Foreman. He said ''no'', but l got him.
l had to paint his toenails four times, but l got him.
Your bandage has been too tight. Keep the blood flowing to the ligaments.
That feels great. Whatever Frasier is paying you, it's not enough.
Actually, l'd need a raise to get me to ''not enough''.
- Hey, Roz. - Hey. What's going on?
- Niles bought me some new shoes. - Oh, yes, look: they have tassels.
Aren't they exquisite? They were individually handmade
by an artisan near Florence.
He is a hero there. lt's an event when he completes a pair of shoes.
They ring the cathedral bell and the town celebrates.
There's a town that needs a bowling alley.
- Evening, all. - Hey, Frasier.
Roz, did you hear the show? l was in top form.
l brilliantly cut a narcissist down to size.
Thank you, Niles.
Oh, Dad, new shoes? Do l hear cathedral bells?
Roz, l apologise for leaving you last night.
l hope you didn't have to fend off Bulldog.
He's not so bad. Actually, we had a good time.
- Oh? - What, ''oh''?
l noticed he came into work
wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday.
- What's going on? - Roz slept with Bulldog last night.
l did not! How could you think that?
Dropping by, bringing you gifts - he was after something.
That's not fair. Dr Crane brings me gifts and he's not after anything.
l did not sleep with Bulldog. He didn't even hit on me.
But he wanted something. He wanted me to leave you and be his producer.
l wonder why he said that.
- Because he really wants me. - Yes, that goes without saying.
- For his show. - Bulldog knows he has to be subtle.
But his ultimate goal remains to...
- To what? - To play Aeneas to your Dido.
l'm sorry you had to hear that, Daphne.
As usual, l haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about.
This is so insulting.
You think he wants me to work for him just to get me into his bed.
lt doesn't occur to you he thinks l'm a good producer.
- Aren't you being naive? - l'll tell you what naive is.
lt's someone who thinks he can talk to me like that
without getting a crutch up his butt!
- l'm an expert in human behaviour! - Oh, really?
Excuse me. l've heard your expert advice!
The only mental disorder you've ever cured is insomnia!
So you had time to listen,
what with your demanding tasks: answering phones and pushing buttons.
A cockatoo with a strong beak could do what you do!
Then hire one. l'm taking the job with Bulldog.
That's it. l am out of here.
Take a picture, because l'm out of your life!
You have seen the last of me!
Oh, damn! My purse.
Bruce, l see we are loaded with callers. What line is next?
- What's your favourite number? - Three.
(Dialling tone )
What's your other favourite number?
Just let me handle this.
Hello. You're on the line with Frasier Crane. l'm listening.
'Hi, Dr Crane. My name is Francesca.
'l'm calling about my boyfriend. He says he loves me,
'but l'm afraid l'll get home one day and he won't be there.
'lt probably stems from my childhood when my father left us.'
Francesca, you are suffering from a fear of abandonment,
but l'm here for you.
(Francesca) 'Thank you. l'm always so afraid
'the people l count on will' just disappear and l'll...'
(Phone line goes dead)
Francesca, we had a little technical glitch.
We're almost out of time.
Call in tomorrow and l'll make sure you're first.
We're just about wrapped up here. l'll see you tomorrow, Seattle.
Good show, Dr Crane.
- You think so, Bruce? - Yeah.
When my show starts with a screech that could shatter crystal,
then plays me eating chips,
then disconnects a woman who fears abandonment,
it's not a show to mail to the Smithsonian.
Don't worry, man. You'll do better tomorrow.
- lt's going to be a great show, Roz. - You've got a minute to show time.
- Hello, Roz. - Hello, Frasier.
Hope you haven't been avoiding me because l stole your chick.
- We're getting along great. - l heard Bruce.
Did the cockatoo want too much money?
- Bye, Roz. - So long, Frasier.
A moment, Frasier, please. l'm sure word has reached your ear
about my frutti di mare party
to celebrate our city's bounty from the sea.
- Yes. l'd love to come. - There's the rub. l've invited Roz.
With the rift between you, the tension will be thicker than my cioppino.
That rift will soon be over.
Bulldog will prove he just wants to get his hands on Roz.
That moment may have arrived. She's bending over.
Turn around, Bulldog!
lsn't that what golfers refer to as ''teeing it up''?
All right. He moves in. And he...
...helps pick up the papers!
l'm so sorry, Frasier. l, too, entertained hopes for low comedy.
Attention, sports fans! You're back in the doghouse with Bulldog Briscoe!
- Woof woof! - Meow!
Football: Broncos over the Raiders! Easy money, eh, Roz?
Yeah, right, and men just want to cuddle. LA humiliated Denver!
Do l tell you how to clean? Denver's due. lt's a no-brainer.
Then it's right up your alley.
l'm no sports fan, but they really are quite delicious together.
Enjoy it now. Bulldog can't control his libido forever.
- Then Roz will crawl back to you. - Yes.
Meanwhile, l need a half-competent producer. How hard is that?
# They call me Mr Pitiful
# Baby, that's my name
# They call me Mr Pitiful
# That's how l got my fame
# But nobody seems to understand now
# What makes a man feel so blue
# They call me Mr Pitiful
# Cause l lost someone just like you
# They call me Mr Pitiful
# This everybody knows now
# They call me Mr Pitiful
# Most everyplace l go now
# But nobody seems to understand now... #
This morning, Maris and l woke to the sound of our gardener
hacking through our topiary.
Why do you want hedges shaped like animals?
We're both animal lovers, but Maris is unable to have pets. She...
She distrusts anything that loves her unconditionally.
There was Yoshi, drunk as a lord, recklessly swinging his hedge trimmer.
Before we could calm him, he had transformed
Maris' prized stallion into an obscene goatboy.
- The poor woman is inconsolable. - Thank you, Niles.
You've been a great help.
There are worse things than a ruined career.
l could have my hedges cut into unattractive shapes.
lt's always about you, isn't it?
l'm just the slightest bit panicky l'll never get Roz back.
l've been waiting for weeks for Bulldog to make his move
and he hasn't.
- l thought we might run into you two. - We've been buying shoes.
Not that l don't appreciate the ones you bought me,
but l'll save those for special occasions when only tassels will do.
Hey, get a load of these. They light up when l walk away.
Doesn't everyone?
l see Mr Congeniality is still spreading sunshine.
- Things didn't go well in his show. - Really? These things go in cycles.
Take Bulldog's show. He's just had one great show after another lately.
What could be your point? l can't read between the lines.
lf you weren't so stubborn, you'd apologise to Roz and get her back.
You're ignoring a key psychological component.
- You'd have to admit you were wrong. - Exactly!
l don't see what's so hard about that.
lt's not the same as Dad or you being wrong. l have a degree from Harvard.
Whenever l'm wrong, the world makes less sense.
Why do you want her back? She's pushy and opinionated.
Aren't you being sexist? That would be labelled ''assertiveness'' in a man.
Gone are the days when women were shunted aside to say nothing.
- l quite agree. - Daphne, please, l can handle this.
You've handled it well so far.
lt's time you got off your high horse and begged her forgiveness.
And get your knees dusty.
l'm sorry, l'm not quite ready to swallow my pride.
Next time, wake me when the show's over.
End of Wednesday's show we do the ''Boner of the Week''.
- No. - This is why l hate you.
You want to change my tried and true format! Why not?
l got you an interview with Wayne Gretzky.
See... Wayne Gretzky?
This is awesome! This is total brilliance!
This is...a pinched nerve.
Football injury. l got my head rammed into a locker during an interview.
- Let me help you with that. - This is great. l can't believe it.
Wayne Gretzky! The great one!
Roz, you are the great one. You are some kind of producer.
Thanks. l'm having a great time.
l owe you, Bulldog. l owe you big.
lt's amazing, but you and l have great chemistry together.
Uh-huh. l like chemistry. l flunked it, but l like it.
You got any of that Wild Turkey left?
Yeah. Sure.
When we started working together,
l never thought it would turn out like this. Did you?
All along!
Hey, Roz!
You'd better make mine a double!
l'm a double kind of guy!
No, there's a lot l want to do tonight and l want you to keep up.
Yeah, well, uh...
All l ask is you give me a couple of 20-minute breaks.
What's that?
l thought a little music might be nice.
- Can you concentrate with that on? - Oh, yeah.
Actually, l find the distraction helps me.
Nah. Second date. Don't be pushy.
This is great, Roz! Us working like this!
Did you and the doc ever end up working...
- What? - You and the doc ever work like this?
We tried, but he complained l talked too much.
Oh, yeah? l would have figured you for a screamer.
What the hell are you doing in my bed? Get out!
l asked you over here to work, you disgusting pervert!
Slow down! l'm getting some mixed signals here.
- What are you doing? - ls this clear enough?
- Are you crazy? My wallet's in there! - Get out, now!
Get out of my way, Doc!
l'm listening.
# Baby, l hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# Quite stylish!
# And maybe l seem a bit confused Yeah, maybe...but l got you pegged!
# But l don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# They're calling again
# Scrambled egg's all over my face!
# What is a boy to do? #
Thank you!
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Friends - 3x05 - The One With Frank Jr
Friends - 3x06 - The One With the Flashback
Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2