Friends - 3x02 - The One Where No Ones Ready
Ripped with SubRip 1.17 and Verified by CdinT|cdint@hotmail.com
I deliver perfection...|and don't brag about it! :D
All right, they got water,|orange juice...
...and what looks like cider.
Taste it.
Yeah, it's fat.
I drank fat!
I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Hey, Mr. Tux.
- Why aren't you dressed?|- We have a half-hour.
That was four minutes ago.|We have to be out the door at 7:40.
Relax, we'll be ready. It takes us|two minutes to get dressed.
I'd feel better if you|got dressed now.
- Okay.|- Okay.
Oh, look at you. All sexy.
Really?
- How come you didn't come over earlier?|- Because I'm a stupid, stupid man.
Hey, Ross, want some cider?
No.
So you're pretty close, huh?
Makeup's on. Hair's done.
I just have to get dressed.
And that takes, what?|Just 6 or 7 minutes?
Yeah. Once I figure out|what I'm wearing.
Glass of fat?
The One Where No One's Ready
English Subtitles by|GELULA & CO., INC.
What's the matter?|You nervous about your speech?
Nope.
- You wanna hear it?|- Am I in it?
After I thank everyone|for donating to the museum...
...I sing a song about the wonder|that is Joey.
Hello! You look great!
Thank you. I know, though.
You see this? This is a person|who is ready to go.
Phoebe, you...
You are my star.
Well, you're my lucky penny.
All right, I took the quiz. And it|turns out I do put career before men.
Get up.
What?
- You're in my seat.|- How is this your seat?
I was sitting there.
But then you left.
Well, it's not like I went to Spain.
I went to the bathroom.|You knew I'd be back.
What's the big deal?|Sit somewhere else!
The "big deal" is I was sitting|there last! So...
...it's my seat.
Well, actually, the last place|you were sitting was in there, so...
You guys, you know what?|It doesn't matter.
You both have to go get dressed before|the big vein in my head pops.
I just have to do one thing.|It's not a big deal.
Get up!
Phoebe, you look great!
All right already.
Are you gonna do magic?
That's funny. Change.
- Hang on, I just got in.|- I don't care.
It starts at 8.|We can't be late.
"He could not, would not,|want to wait."
Our table is down in front.|My boss will be there.
Everyone will see if we arrive|after it starts.
Has somebody been drinking my fat?
Does this look like something a|paleontologist's girlfriend would wear?
I don't know.|You might be the first one.
- Rach, did you check the machine?|- No.
Wait. This is the outfit that makes|my calves look fat. Never mind.
Well, Joey, I wrote|a little song today.
It's called, "Get up!"
All right. You can have the chair.
- Really?|- Oh, my. Would you look at that?
{y:i}It's me, I'm coming over.
{y:i}What if I'm already there|{y:i}when you play this message?
Is that too spooky?
{y:i}Hi, Rach, are you there?|{y:i}It's me. Pick up.
{y:i}Rachel? Rach?
What?
Never mind.
{y:i}Monica, it's Richard. Call me.
Is that message old or new?
Old or new? Old or new?
It's definitely old.|Didn't you hear the double beep?
What if it's new?|We agreed not to talk.
It could be important.|Shouldn't I call him back?
Honey, you did call him back.|It's old.
Yeah, see, Mon, listen. Listen.
When Carol and I broke up...
...I went through the same thing.|You know what I did?
I got dressed.
Really, really quickly, okay? Okay?
There we go. There we go.
You know what? Don't get up.|Just sit there.
I just hope you don't mind|my hand right here.
Not touching. Can't get mad!|Not touching. Can't get mad!
Not touching. Can't get mad!
Oh, my God!
You rotten boys!
- Sorry, Phoebe.|- What am I gonna do?
Don't rub it!|What gets out hummus?
What gets out hummus?
Monica!|What gets out hummus?
If it is a new message,|what is he calling to say?
Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that.
Maybe he called to say|you're obsessive and crazy?
- So should I call him back?|- No!
No!
- Fine, we'll both sit in the chair.|- Fine with me.
I am so comfortable.
Me too.
In fact, I think I might be|a little too comfortable.
Okay, we have 19 minutes.|I want you to go and change.
When you come back, Joey will go change|and he'll have vacated the chair.
- Okay.|- All right.
Fine. I'm going.
When I get back, it's Chair City.|And I'm the guy...
...who's sitting in a chair!
Is this a little too...
Pheebs? What happened?
I got the hummus.
Oh, honey, we'll find you something.|You wanna wear my black jacket?
- It won't go with this dress.|- You're right.
- Well, let's just get you out of that.|- No, no, no. Not "out of that".
- Not "out" of clothes.|- Can Phoebe borrow your green dress?
I called him.
Yes. I got his machine|and I left a message.
But it's okay. It's okay...
...because it was, like,|a casual, breezy message.
It was breezy.
Oh, God, what if it wasn't breezy?
How could it not be breezy? No.|Because you're in such a breezy place.
I got it. I'll play my message and|you guys tell me if it's breezy enough.
But how you gonna do that?
I know the code|to his answering machine.
Okay, Mon, I really don't think|this is the...
Okay, you're dialing.|You are dialing.
{y:i}Hi, this is Richard.|{y:i}Please leave a message at the tone.
{y:i}You have two new messages.
What a cool job.
"You have two new messages."
Please pass the pie.
{y:i}Hi, it's Monica.|{y:i}I'm just checking in.
{y:i}I got a message and didn't know|{y:i}if it was old or new.
{y:i}So I'm just checking.
{y:i}So let me know.
{y:i}Or don't. Whatever.
{y:i}I'm breezy!
You can't say you're "breezy".|That negates the "breezy".
{y:i}Hola. It's me.|{y:i}Yesterday was really fun.
{y:i}Call me about this weekend, okay?
Now, she sounded breezy.
He's seeing someone.|I can't believe he's seeing someone.
- You don't know that.|- Well, whose voice was that?
Maybe it was his sister's.|Maybe it was his daughter's.
Michelle. Of course!|Did it sound like Michelle?
Oh, great. It's starting to rain.|That'll make it easier to get a cab.
It was Michelle.
It was definitely Michelle.
Try Monica's green dress. If it|doesn't fit, wear my gray silk one.
- Unless I wear it.|- You don't know what you're wearing?
I'm just trying to look nice|for your big night.
Yeah, which we have to leave for|in 12 minutes.
Come on, I'll just pick|something out for you.
You'll notice that I'm fully dressed.
I, in turn, have noticed|that you are not.
So in the words of A.A. Milne,|"Get out of my chair, dill-hole."
Okay.
- What are you doing?|- You said to give you the chair.
You didn't say anything about cushions.
They're the essence|of the chair!
That's right! I'm taking the essence.
Oh, he'll be back.
Oh, there's nobody in the room.
- I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.|- That was a Halloween costume.
Unless you would like me to go|as Little Bo Peep.
I didn't recognize it|without that inflatable sheep.
Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler,|I would like back one of these days.
Rach, good! Listen, isn't this|perfect for me?
Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight.
Of course, not for tonight.|Hi. I'm going to a benefit.
Not for tonight?|What are you doing?
No, I'm sorry. We didn't mean it.|I love you. Breathe.
We used them as pillows|when we went camping.
What?
The sheep.
Hey, what you do on your own time...
Where's my underwear?
- Come on, you took his underwear?|- He took my essence!
Okay, hold on. Why can't you just wear|the underwear you're wearing now?
Because I'm not wearing|any underwear now.
Then why do you have|to wear underwear tonight?
It's a rented tux, okay?
I'm not gonna go commando|in another man's fatigues.
Then somebody's gonna have|to give somebody back his cushions.
Okay. You hide my clothes, I'm gonna|do the exact opposite to you.
What, are you gonna show me my clothes?
Hey, opposite...
...is opposite.
He's got nothing!
Okay, I'm ready.
Rachel didn't have anything I liked|but this ribbon.
I thought, all right,|I'll be political.
- What are you supporting?|- Christmas.
Hey, that's okay with me. Two down,|and I have exactly 12 minutes...
What?
My watch stopped.|My watch. Okay, see...
...the dinosaur tail|isn't going around anymore.
What time is it? It's 7:33.|I have 7 minutes.
I have seven minutes!
Which shoes should I wear?|The black or the purple?
- Just pick one, okay?|- Oh, okay, okay. The black.
Do you have black|with little strappies?
Yeah. But those go better with pants.|Maybe I should wear pants.
Yeah, pants! What an idea!|Or better yet, go without pants.
I don't know what you're doing,|but just get in there...
...and pick out any shoes|that fit your feet.
I don't care if they match.|I don't care if they make...
...your ankles or your knees or your|earlobes look fat. Just do it!
Go in there, pick something out|so we can go.
- All right.|- Thank you.
I've got to call Michelle to see|if that was her voice.
It was. It was her voice.
Monica, I think you've gone over|to the bad place.
{y:i}Hola.
{y:i}Hello? Hello?
- Okay. That was her, right?|- Definitely. Yeah.
So there you go.
We're out of the woods.|I think I'll get dressed now.
- I'll get it.|- Okay.
Hi, Monica and Rachel's.
Yeah, just a second.|Can I ask who's calling?
It's Michelle!
She must have that "caller I.D." thing.|You should get that.
Michelle?
Yeah, that was me.|I dialed your number by mistake.
Just try to be...
You're so sweet.
Yeah, we were a great couple.
I know, I really miss him.
Well, you know how it is.|It's just that...
You know what's weird?
Donald Duck never wore pants.
But when he gets|out of the shower...
...he always puts a towel|around his waist.
I mean, what is that about?
I only beeped in so I could|hear my own message.
I mean, that's allowed.
I would really appreciate it if you|wouldn't tell your dad about...
What do you mean, you don't feel|comfortable with this? We're friends!
That bitch always hated me.
I'm calling her back.
- Okay, fine.|- Okay.
- She's got a phone in there, right?|- Okay, we're on it.
I know it says "black tie optional"...
...but this may be pushing it a little.
I'm not gonna go.
You're not gonna go?
No, I think I'm gonna catch up|on my correspondence.
How can you not be going?
I'm not gonna go.
So I think that will accomplish|the "not going".
You know, just out of curiosity...
Ever since I was humiliated|and yelled at in front of my friends...
...I'm just, I don't know, not in a|very museum benefit-y kind of mood.
Right. Well, okay. Okay.|God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled.
- That's fine.|- No, but you're mad.
I'm not mad. I'm just not going.
- Right.|- Okay.
You know that I have to go, right?
So is it gonna be, like,|I'm abandoning you while you're upset?
- No.|- No?
- You're not upset about the yelling.|- Right. And the humiliating.
Well, of course, the humiliating.
So we...
...we're okay?
- We're good.|- Right.
- Honey? I love you.|- Yes, Ross.
Get away from that phone!
She's just getting dressed now.
Is it wrong that I was|totally aroused by that?
Okay, buddy boy, here it is.
You hide my clothes,|I'm wearing everything you own.
Oh, my God!
That is so not the opposite|of taking somebody's underwear!
Look at me! I'm Chandler.
Could I be wearing any more clothes?
Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
It's hot with all this stuff on.
I better not do any,|I don't know, lunges.
Okay, enough.|Enough with the lunging.
I'm sick of this.|I've had it up to here.
Neither of you can come to the party!
Jeez, what a baby!
Way to ruin it.|I was just gonna go get dressed.
The only person|I cared about getting dressed...
...is the person who's|not even gonna go.
Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay?
Look, I was a jerk, okay?|I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there.
I need you there.
What can I do to show you|how much I want you to be there?
You could drink the fat.
Welcome to an adult conversation.
No, no, no.|Now wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- That actually sounds interesting.|- What?
I think you should drink the fat.
Okay, if that's what it takes to|show you how much you mean to me...
...and how much I want you there,|that's what I'll do.
Let me get you another glass.|That's been sitting out.
I think this will be fine.
Okay, vanilla milkshake.|Just a vanilla milkshake...
...with chicken bits floating in it.
Cheers.
No, don't! Okay, okay, I'll go.|I'll go.
You will?
You were really gonna do that.
Well, yeah.
You were gonna drink the fat.
Let's see what else he'll do!
How about you get changed?|Give him his underwear.
I'll get a cab. I want everyone|downstairs in two minutes.
Monica!
Stop it.
Stop it!
Ross went to get a cab, so we...
What are you doing? No, Monica, no!
{y:i}Hi, this is Richard.
{y:i}You have three new messages.
Not anymore.
{y:i}Message erased.
{y:i}To record your message,|{y:i}begin speaking at the tone.
Hi, Richard. It's Monica.
Listen, I did something|kind of crazy tonight.
Maybe I'm getting my period|or something. I don't know.
Anyway, I beeped into your machine|and I heard this message...
...that freaked me out...
...and Michelle will tell you the rest.
I'm sorry, okay? And I hope that we|can just forget the whole thing.
{y:i}Your outgoing message|{y:i}has now been changed.
Outgoing?
Did that say outgoing?
Not outgoing!
{y:i}Hi, Richard, it's Monica.
{y:i}Listen, I did something|{y:i}kind of crazy tonight.
{y:i}Maybe I'm getting my period|{y:i}or something. I don't know.
- How did you do that?|- I don't know!
{y:i}Goodbye.
Okay, I've got two cabs|and no people! Go, go, go!
Maybe we can call the phone company|to change the message?
They could change his number.
I think after this,|he'll be doing that himself.
Rachel!
You...|You look...
And I still have about|five seconds to spare.
That was about 7 seconds.
So we're a little late.
Come on.
Oh, and by the way...
What?
I'm going commando too.
Dr. Geller?
- Sherman Whitfield, London Institute.|- What a pleasure.
I was quite impressed with your|paper on pre-Cretaceous fossils.
Yes. It confirmed everything|I'd written.
Excuse me.
Hi.
Yes?
You're kind of sitting in my seat.
What do you mean, your seat?
- I mean, I was sitting there.|- But you got up.
But I never left the room.
But you left the chair area.
All right, that's it.|Give me your underwear. |
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3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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