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Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy

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I deliver perfection...|and don't brag about it! :D
- Does everybody hate these shoes?|- Yeah.
But nobody will focus on that|if you wear that towel-dress.
Tell him.
It's her first day at this new job.|You shouldn't start with her.
All right.|I suppose I can wait a day.
- What are you doing Friday?|- Why?
Come to my weird cousin Albert's|bachelor party.
You know, he's the botanist?
Oh, God!
Botanists are such geeks.
Is that a dinosaur tie?
Rach, I'm here with the purses!
It must take you forever|to find your keys.
Thank you, Pheebs.
You're welcome. Please want the one|with the turtles.
No, turtles scare me.|I don't need that today.
Honey, just relax.|It's gonna be fine.
Why don't I come|and take you to lunch?
Thank you!|But Mark's taking me out.
Mark? Is that the same Mark|that helped you get the job?
It's like a "good luck on your|first day" thing.
Is this a lunch box?
No, a purse.|And there's a thermos in it.
- So can you make it on Friday?|- What?
I think so.|Why am I invited to this again?
Apparently, Albert has no friends.
He's excited about the bachelor party.
He's only getting married|so he can see a stripper.
A stripper at a bachelor party.|That is so cliché.
Why don't you guys get a magician?
If he can open my beer|with his butt-cheeks, then all right.
The One With All the Jealousy
English Subtitles by|GELULA & CO., INC.
She's having lunch with him?|Lunch with him?
You should've seen him hug her|when she got the job!
And he's really good-looking.
- What am I gonna do?|- You don't do anything.
Keep it inside.|Learn how to hide your feelings.
Don't cry out loud.
Guess who has an audition|for a Broadway musical?
I wanna say you, but it seems like|such an easy answer.
It is me!
It's a musical version of|{y:i}A Tale of Two Cities.
So I think I'm gonna sing|{y:i}New York, New York...
...and "I Left My Heart|in San Francisco".
Joey, I don't think|you get to pick the cities.
Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.
I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
The what?
The abridgment.
The what?
Then the style number...
...the invoice number|and the shipping date.
Good. Any questions so far?
What kind of discount do we get?
Twenty percent.
I love this job!
- My first call!|- Here, let me.
Rachel Greene's line.|May I help you?
Hi, is Rachel there?
- And who may I say is calling?|{y:i}- This is Ross.
Ross of...?
Of "Ross and Rachel".
Hi, it's Mark.
- Hey, Mark.|{y:i}- Hey.
{y:i}Hold on a second.|{y:i}It's Ross.
Hi, honey.
What's Mark doing|answering your phone?
{y:i}Oh, he's just goofing around.
Oh, that's funny.
Why isn't he goofing around|in his own office?
This is his office too. I told you,|we're Joanna's two assistants.
Why does Joanna need two assistants?
How lazy is she?
Oh, my God! What did I just do?
I just shipped 3000 bras to Personnel!
I gotta go!|Mark, I need you!
Okay! Bye-bye!
I'm sorry, sweetie.|I was just trying to...
I was dialing another number.
I got changed in 30 seconds|so you could be alone with him.
You better go for it.
I'm not going for anything.
Well, if you don't, I will.
Would you please go?
'Night, Mon.
'Night, Julio.
Someone left their book here.
Actually, that is mine.
What are you reading?
"Flowers of Evil", by Baudelaire.|Have you read it?
Have I read it?
No. Are you enjoying it?
I thought I would,|but the translation's no good.
You're a poet|and you don't know it.
Actually, I...
I am a poet.
So you do know it.
So what kind of things|do you write about?
Things that move me:
The shadow of a tree...
...a child laughing...
...or this lip.
Right here?
I could write an epic poem|about this lip.
How would that go?
Well, it didn't rhyme...
...but I liked it.
{y:i}You've got to pick a pocket or two...
{y:i}... boys
{y:i}You've got to pick a pocket...
{y:i}... or two
Just lovely.
Really? Thanks.
We definitely want to see you|for the callback on Saturday.
I'll be there.
Don't forget to bring your jazz shoes|for the dance audition.
My agent said that|it wasn't a dancing part.
All the roles gotta dance a little.
But with your dance background,|it'll be a piece of cake.
"Three years of modern dance|with Twyla Tharp"?
"Five years with|the American Ballet Theatre"?
Everybody lies on their résumé, okay?
I wasn't one of|the "Zoom" kids either.
Well, can you, like, dance at all?
Yeah, I can dance.|You know...
What is that?
Sure, it looks stupid now.|There's no music playing.
I have to get that.|But, no, no.
Listen, I'm in need of a stripper|and I was told that you do that.
Let me ask you this. What do you do|for the extra hundred?
So would I have to provide the grapes?
How was last night|with Julio, "seòorita"?
It was amazing. He's sexy and smart,|which makes him even sexier.
Last night we were fooling around...
...and all of a sudden he stops|to write a poem.
Get out! I couldn't stop|if a meteor hit me.
We have our stripper,|a "Miss Crystal Chandelier".
Name a kid that, what do you|expect them to grow up to be?
But he forgot|to take the poem with him.
I am totally dense about poetry,|but I think this is pretty good.
Check it out.
"The Empty Vase.|Translucent beauty..."
To yourself.
You know, that's pretty good.
Yeah, I think so too.|Phoebe?
Great!|I'm so glad you guys like it!
- I gotta go to work.|- I'm not done.
Give it back when|you're through.
- See you guys.|- Bye-bye.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!|Poor Monica!
What? What? What?
He was with her|when he wrote this poem!
"My vessel so lovely,|with nothing inside"?
"Now that I've touched you,|you seem emptier still"?
He thinks Monica's empty.|She's the empty vase!
You really think he meant that?
Oh, God!|And she seems so happy too.
Do you have the Ralph Lauren file?
Oh, yeah, sure! It's right...
What's that?
It's from Ross. It's a Love Bug.
Somebody wants people to know|you have a boyfriend.
That's not what he's doing.
He's just really romantic.
Excuse me. Are you Rachel Greene?
One, two, three.
{y:i}Congratulations on your first week|{y:i}At your brand-new job
{y:i}It won't be long|{y:i}Before you're the boss
{y:i}And you know who will be there|{y:i}To support you
{y:i}Your one and only boyfriend
It's nice to have a boyfriend!
{y:i}Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross!
I'm hurt!|I'm actually hurt...
...that you'd think I'd send those|things out of anything but love.
All right, I get it. You're hurt!
Can't a guy send|a barbershop quartet... his girlfriend's office anymore?
Oh, please!|It was so obvious... you were marking|your territory.
You might as well have just come in|and peed around my desk!
I would never do that.
Look, I know what's going on here.
Mark explained it all to me.|He said this is what you guys do.
Well, if Mark said that,|then Mark's an idiot.
Mark's a genius.
Why? How?|How is he a genius?
Don't you see what's happening?
Instead of hitting on her now,|he's becoming her confidante.
Now he's gonna be the guy she goes to,|to complain about you.
What am I gonna do?
Why don't you send her a musical bug?
No, you already did that.
You're gonna have to go|there yourself now.
Make a few surprise visits.
I don't know, guys.
Fine, don't do anything.|Sit and talk to us.
Meanwhile, she is talking|to him about you.
And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive.
She's thinking, "Maybe he's the guy|for me because he understands me."
And before you know it,|she's with him.
And you'll be all, "Oh, man!"
And he'll be all, "Yes!"
And us, we'll be like, "Oh, dude!"
And pretty soon you'll be like:
And, "Well, I can't go.|Rachel and Mark might be there."
And we'll be like, "Man, get over it!|It's been four years!"
He paints quite a picture,|doesn't he?
Here's the Shelley Segal stuff|for December.
Wait, I've got something for you.
It's okay. Rachel knows.
Yeah, but even so...
I can't help it.|I'm just crazy about you.
Oh, that is so sweet!
I know I'm Mr. Inappropriate today,|but it's just so tough.
I see you walking around,|and I want to touch and hold you...
Come on, no one's around.|Just kiss me.
All right, that's it!|Get off of her!
What is going on?
What's going on?|I'll tell you what's going on!
I have been down in your store|for 20 minutes, trying to get a tie.
What do I have to do|to get some service?
Hi, Rach.
Joey Tribbiani?
I've got a problem.
I just got a call|from my dance captain.
He's having a relationship crisis|and can't leave Long Island.
Does that mean the audition's off?
Seeing as you've got|the most experience...
...I want you to teach these dancers|the combination.
Come on, it's easy.|You know, it's hand, hand...
...head, head...
...up, pas de bourrée,|pas de bourrée...
...big turn here, rond de jambe...
Slide, step, step...
...and jazz hands!
So that's, "Steppity-step|and jazz hands."
Have fun.
What are you wrapping?
Look what I got Julio.
It's a vase.
Just like the one in the poem.
Not exactly like|the one in the poem.
What do you mean?
Remember how you said you were|really dense about poetry?
So I'm just an empty vase?
So, I don't read as many|important books as you do.
And I don't write trick poems|that aren't about what they seem.
And I get excited about|stupid stuff... when my|"People" magazine comes...
...and the new|"Hold Everything" catalog.
But that doesn't mean I'm empty. I|care about things. Friends and family.
You have no right to judge me!|You don't even know me!
The poem is not about you.
"The Empty Vase" is not about you.
My baby "preciosa"...
You make me so sad|that you would think this.
I'm sorry. It's...
My friend Phoebe said...
It's about all women.
...all American women.
You feel better now?
All right, let's do it.
What was that?
It's the best|I could get out of them.
Well, people!
People, people, people!
Let's try it again. And this time,|everybody watch Joey.
Show 'em how it's done.
Count it off, Mack.
Did you have fun at|the bachelor party last night?
Look what I got!|See, she's dressed, right?
And then you click it,|and uh-oh, she's naked!
And then you click it again|and she's dressed.
She's a business woman|walking down the street.
She's window shopping,|and oh, she's naked!
I'm gonna spend some alone time|with the pen.
I'm sorry. I was an idiot.
A big idiot.
A big idiot.
It's just,|you have to realize...
...this Mark thing is hard for me.
Why is it hard? We've been together|for almost a year now.
Well, I was with Carol|for, like, eight years.
And I lost her.
And now, if it's possible,|I think I love you even more.
So it's hard for me|to believe I'm not gonna...
...well, that someone else isn't|gonna take you away.
Let it be me. Let it be me!
Honey, that's very sweet.
It just seems to me, though,|that if two people love each other...
...and trust each other,|like we do...
...there's no reason to be jealous.
I gotta get going.
Bye, Chandler.
This pen's getting kind of boring.|Can you pick me up some porn?
Where you going?
I've gotta go pick up Ben|for a play-date this afternoon.
With who?
Just this woman I met last night|at the party.
There was a woman at...?
The stripper?
You have a play-date with a stripper?
Man, I gotta get a kid!
We started talking|after she did her thing...
...and she's got a boy|about Ben's age.
So we're gonna take the kids|to a Gymboree class.
- Is that okay?|- Sure. Is she married?
Are you jealous?
I just don't see why she has|to play with you.
I mean, doesn't she have any other|stripper-mom friends of her own?
You are totally jealous!
I'm not jealous.
This is about...
...people feeling certain things... know, about...
...strippers. And, you know...
I love you too.
Wait, wait, wait!
Well, there's a kiss he won't forget|for a few hours.
Either that or you just turned him on|and sent him to a stripper.
Is there a Julio here?
I am Julio.
{y:i}Mr. Pretentious
{y:i}You think there's no one finer|{y:i}Your poems are unpublished
{y:i}And you work in a diner
{y:i}You're no God's gift to women|{y:i}That's all in your head
{y:i}You are just a butt-munch
No one likes a butt-munch!
{y:i}And you're also bad in bed
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Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2