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Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape

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I deliver perfection...|and don't brag about it! :D
What's so funny?
Nothing. It's an acting exercise.|I'm practicing my fake laugh.
What? What's so funny?
No, no. There's none of that in here.
Come on. At least let me|finish this last one.
Only if you give me a drag.
Oh, dark mother, once again|I suckle at your smoky teat.
Why don't you hold on to that one.
That's like the least fun game ever.
I'm sick of your smoking,|so I brought something...
...that is going to help you quit.
That patch is no good.
It's a hypnosis tape.
A woman at work used it for two weeks|and hasn't smoked since.
What's your problem?
Nothing. It's just that|hypnosis is beyond crap.
I watched you get hypnotized|in Atlantic City.
That guy did not hypnotize me, okay?
You always pull your pants down|and play "Wipe Out" on your butt.
Forget hypnosis.
The way to quit smoking is to|dance naked in a field of heather...
...and then bathe in the sweat|of six healthy, young men.
Or what my father calls|"Thursday night."
The One With the Hypnosis Tape
English Subtitles by|GELULA & CO., INC.
- Here you go.|- I didn't want cinnamon on this.
Oh, my God! Frank!
How are you?
What are you doing here?
I would've called,|but I lost your number.
And then my mom locked me out of|the house, so I couldn't find it.
Then I tried to find a pay phone,|and the receiver was cut off.
What happened?
But also, what happened|between you and your mom?
We got in a fight. She said that|I was too immature to get married.
You're getting married?
My little brother's getting married!
I knew you'd be so cool about this.|Do you wanna meet her?
Do I?
Do you?
Yeah, I do.
Cool, all right.|She's just parking the truck.
I gonna go get my fiancée, man!
I'd have bet good money that he'd be|the first one of us to get married.
Isn't it fantastic?
Don't you think he's|a little young to get married?
Well, he's 18.
It'll be illegal for him to drink|at his own bachelor party.
Yeah, or to get a hooker.
Always illegal, Joe.
This is my fiancée...
...Mrs. Knight.
That's my sister.
You know, it's funny.
Frank told me so much about you, but|you're not how I pictured you at all.
Yeah, I'm a big surprise.
Here, grab a seat.
So how did you guys meet?
I was in Mrs. Knight's...
I mean, Alice. Sorry.|I always do that.
I was in her home-ec class.
He was my best student.
She was my best teacher.
If that doesn't keep kids in school,|what will?
And so now you guys|are gonna be married?
We talked about|just living together...
...but we want kids right away.
Oh, my God!
Kids. Frank, are you sure|you're ready for that?
How hard can it be?
You know, I mean, babies.|Who doesn't want babies? Right?
And besides,|I never had a dad around.
And now I always will,|because it'll be me.
Really, we do realize that there's|an age difference between us.
Good. Because you were|acting like you didn't.
But when it comes to love,|what does age matter?
{y:i}You are falling fast asleep.
{y:i}Deeper, deeper, deeper.
{y:i}You are now completely asleep.
{y:i}You don't need to smoke.
{y:i}Cigarettes don't control you.
{y:i}You are a strong, confident woman...
{y:i}... who does not need to smoke.
{y:i}A strong, confident woman.
{y:i}You know what?
I realized in the last year I've|only gone out with Richard and Julio.
You gotta help me out, set me up.|Get me back in the game.
Not a problem.
I work in fashion, and all I meet|are eligible straight men.
Can I get you something else?
Cheesecake and a date,|if you're giving them out.
Haven't we covered that topic?
You just said to her...
You wanna go out with me...
...because of my wig, the big boobs,|and I serve you food.
If that were true,|I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth.
And the two times we went out,|it was plain awkward.
You think she should go out with me,|don't you?
You sure you wanna go out with her?
That ain't a pretty picture|in the morning.
That wig all in disarray,|and boobs flung over the nightstand.
Think about it.
Oh, I will.
No, I know.|I know that this is Frank's life.
I don't wanna be judgmental,|but it's sick. It's sick and wrong!
What, is it the age thing?
I'm fine with the age thing...
...until it sticks its tongue|down my brother's throat.
Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
You think he'll enjoy it when he's|up to his elbows in diapers...
...of all the babies|they have to have right away?
This is not fair to Frank,|and it's not fair to the babies.
You know what?|It's not good home economics.
Have you told him how you feel?
Yes. Not out loud.
If you don't tell him, soon he'll be|married, then you'll hate yourself.
Yeah, but if I do tell him,|then he's gonna hate myself.
Look at him and his mom.|I can't.
But you guys can.|You talk him out of it.
Come on, you guys.
You have nothing to lose.|I have everything to lose.
Do you want me to lose everything?|Everything?
Okay, I'm gonna go get Frank.
We're walking down the street,|and I turn to you and say:
"Let's go hang out at|Totally Nude Nudes." Remember?
And then you say, "Let's just|hang out at your place."
Well, that was a nice move, dumb ass.
I think you should|go out with this guy.
He doesn't do anything for me.
Last Saturday night, what happened|on "Walker, Texas Ranger"?
Walker was looking for|this big busload of kids.
All right, I get your point.
I forgot the combination to this|about a year ago.
I just carry it around.
You got any Chap Stick?
How are those tapes working out?
Good. I haven't smoked yet today.
I feel great and confident.|That is a stunning blouse.
Thank you.
- Here you go.|- Thanks.
Let's give Pete a chance.|He was funny. He seems really nice.
That check thing was adorable.
What check thing?
As a joke, this customer who has a|crush on me, gave me a $20,000 tip.
His number's on the check.|He did it so I'd call.
Pete Becker. Pete...
Is this him?
That's Bill Clinton.
Who's he hugging?
Oh, my God. That's Pete.|Why is Bill hugging Pete?
This guy invented Moss 865.
Every office in the world|uses that program.
- We use it!|- There you go!
Monica's gonna go out|with a millionaire.
I'm not gonna go out with him.
I can't believe this is a real|$20,000 check. This is so exciting.
Or incredibly offensive.
Yeah, sure. That too.
All we're saying is,|don't rush into anything.
Come on, think about it.|You're 18. She's 44.
When you're 36, she's gonna be 88.
You don't think I know that?
The point is...
...there's a lot of women|you haven't had sex with yet.
He's right. He's right.|This is your time.
You're young. You're weird.|Chicks dig that.
Isn't sex better when it's with|one person that you really care about?
Yeah, in a poem, maybe.
No, the man's right.|That's what I had with Rachel.
Not anymore?
No. I slept with someone else.
So wait. So how did that|make things better?
It didn't.
What you used to have with Rachel|is what I got with Alice.
Now, what is that like?
It's so cool, man.
It's because being with her is so|much better than not being with her.
- Why can't I find that?|- I had it and I blew it.
Well, I want it!
You can have it.
Maybe there's something wrong with me.
No, it's out there, man.|I've seen it! I got it!
- Then, you hold on to it!|- All right, man!
All right! Congratulations,|you lucky bastard!
You're Frank's best man?
I couldn't help it.|Their love is so pure.
What about you, huh?
I'm the ring bearer.
I'm so glad you could come.|I've got a real home-ec emergency.
Oh, my God. Who died on this?
It's a real "mustard-tastrophe".
Can you help?
Absolutely. First, we'll start|with a little club soda and salt.
- Then if that doesn't work...|- Forget it. It's ruined.
Never say that. If you can't|get it out, cut around the stain...
...add a little lace,|you make a stylish throw.
Or instead, maybe you could just|not marry my brother, Frank?
Can we make it smaller?|Make it fit on the head of a pin?
I love when we make things|fit on the head of a pin.
{y:i}You have Monica Geller here.
Absolutely. Yeah, send her in.
What the hell is this?
Hang on for a sec.|I'll talk to you in the morning?
{y:i}You got it.
I'm sorry. What?
What's this supposed to mean?
Well, you know,|I never know how much to tip.
You double the tax.|Not double the tax of Romania.
Are you buying me? Is this how|you get girls to go out with you?
{y:i}I'm still here.
You're taking this wrong.|If I didn't leave you that tip... wouldn't have come,|we wouldn't have this argument...
...and there wouldn't be|this heat between us.
You gotta admit that our relationship|is hitting a new level now.
You were the chef|and I was the customer.
But now we're this couple that fights.
You're a loon.
Look, forget the check, okay?|I like you.
I think you're great.
Come on, what do you say?
I don't know.
Why not?
I don't wanna encourage|this behavior.
One meal.|That's all I'm asking for. Please?
We go out, we eat.
If you don't have a good time,|I'll give you 10 grand, we're even.
Wait, no. Just put the mail down.|It's me.
Sorry. Why were you|just all in the dark?
Your laundry smelled so good|that I thought I'd curl up in it.
- Is that all right?|- Yeah, sure.
So how was your day?
It's just probably the worst one|since I've been alive.
What happened?
Alice...|She called it off.
Did she say why?
No. Just that I was too young.
I don't see how I could|suddenly be too young...
...because I'm older than I was|when we first got together.
I don't know. But you know what?|Maybe it's just all for the best.
Well, yeah, if the best is|like unbelievable pain.
Oh, sweetie.
You know, I was just finally happy.
For the first time in my life...
...after my dad left me...
...and then getting arrested|for stealing those birds...
...and then the whole|punctured-lung thing.
It's still really hard to take|deep breaths in cold weather...
...but with Alice,|all that stuff kind of went away.
And now it's gone,|and I don't know why.
Well, I can tell you why.|It's because of me.
But you know what? I only did it|because I love you, okay?
I kind of had a little chat|with Alice...
...and I sort of made her see|why you two shouldn't be together.
And you'll see it too, one day.|You really, really will.
Wait a minute.|This is because of you?
My mother didn't want us|to be together...
...but the worst thing she did|was tie me to the porch.
I came to you because|I thought you'd understand.
I would storm out of here...
...if I had some money|or a place to go.
Oh, my God! The millionaire's here!
Oh, my God!
I'm just gonna have dinner with him.
Okay, just because he buys you dinner|does not mean you owe him anything.
I know.
Okay, then get the lobster.
How much cash you got|in your pocket now?
And that's why I'm not|inviting you in for a drink.
Why not? Hey, come in for drink.
- Where do you wanna go?|- You like pizza?
- That sounds great.|- I know a great little place.
You're not paying for the pizza.
Come on, it's only fair.|You paid for the flight.
Is that enough lira?
I'd throw another 1000 on that.
- How much is that?|- That's about 60 cents.
Every night!
{y:i}You don't need to smoke.
{y:i}Cigarettes don't control you.
{y:i}You are a strong, confident woman...
{y:i}... who does not need to smoke.
{y:i}A strong, confident woman...
{y:i}... who does not need to smoke.
Look, I know that you think I did|this totally evil thing.
But I so didn't.
Someone's here who can explain this|better than I can.
Hi, Mrs. Knight.
Phoebe's right, Frank.
It's hard to hear, but it would've|been wrong to go through with it.
I was being selfish.
Even though we want|the same things right now... the future, we may not.
- Is that what it is?|- Yes, but not just that.
Not just that.
Even though we love each other|as much as we do...
You're too young... really know what you want.
That's right, exactly.
That's a goodbye kiss.|That's good.
The important thing is,|is that you see what I'm saying.
This is clearly wrong.
I've decided I'm gonna|let this happen.
Can I just get my purse?
Okay, all right, good.
{y:i}Cigarettes don't control you.
{y:i}You are a strong, confident woman...
{y:i}... who does not need to smoke.
{y:i}Joey's your best friend.
{y:i}You wanna make him|{y:i}a cheese sandwich every day.
{y:i}And you also wanna buy him|{y:i}hundreds of dollars worth of pants.
Face 2004
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Fail Safe
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Fallen Angels 1995
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Family Guy 01x01 - Death Has a Shadow
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Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2