Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
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{y:i}Any entertainment there?
All right. Here we go!|1999, the year of Joey.
We're very happy for you.
What's the matter?
We wanted to kiss at midnight,|but nobody else will so...
All right, I'll take care of it.
Thirty-three... thirty-two...|thirty-one...
Who are you kissing at midnight?|Rachel or Phoebe?
You can't kiss your sister.
- Who will kiss my sister?|- Chandler.
Oh, man! Really?
Would you rather|have me or him kiss her?
That's a good point.
Since I have that whole history|with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Pheebs! Listen.|Ross wants to kiss you at midnight.
So obvious.|Why doesn't he just ask?
I'm going to kiss you at midnight.
You can't kiss Ross.|You got the history.
So?
- Would you prefer me or Chandler?|- Good point.
Three... two... one!
Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year.|- You too.
Happy New Year, Joey.
So, that do anything for you?
The One with|All the Resolutions
English Subtitles by|GELULA & CO., INC.
You know what?
I'm going to go out on a limb|and say, "No divorces in '99"!
But your divorce isn't final yet.
Just the one divorce in '99!
I'm going to be happy this year.|I'm going to make myself happy.
Do you want us to leave the room?
Every day, I am going to do one thing|I have never done before.
That is my New Year's resolution.
That's a good one!
Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Now you only have to find|a planeload of people...
...whose resolution is|to plummet to their deaths.
Maybe your resolution should be|not to make fun of your friends.
Especially the ones who might|fly you to Europe for free.
She has a better chance|of flying up your nose...
...than you do of|not making fun of us.
I'll bet $50 you can't go the year|without making fun of us.
Better yet, a week.
I'll take that bet, my friend.
Paying me the $50 can be...
...the "new thing you do" that day.
And it starts right now!
My New Year's resolution is|to learn how to play guitar.
Really? How come?
You know those special skills|I have listed on my résumé?
I would love it|if one of those was true.
Want me to teach you?|I'm great.
Really?|Who have you taught?
I taught me and I loved me.
That'd be great!|Yeah, thanks, Pheebs.
Look. Blaire forgot her glasses.
She'll need these to keep an eye|on that boyfriend.
Who, from what I hear,|needs to keep his stapler...
...in his desk drawer,|if you know what I mean!
Maybe your resolution|should be to gossip less.
What? I don't gossip.
Maybe sometimes I find out things.
Or I hear something|and I pass that information on.
You know, kind of|like a public service.
It doesn't mean I'm a gossip.|Is Ted Koppel a gossip?
If Ted Koppel talked about his|coworkers' botched boob jobs, I would.
They were like this!
I'll see you tomorrow.
I just asked that girl out.
Nice!
Is that part of|your "new thing" for today?
Yes, it is. See?
"Elizabeth...
...Hornswoggle?"
That's right.
Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
You okay, Chandler?
Something funny about that name?
No, I just think|I've heard it somewhere before.
Oh, really? Where?
Somewhere funny I'll bet.
Guess what?
I have a date|with Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
Oh, this must be killing you!
All right, see you later.
All right, Pheebs,|I am ready for my first lesson.
No, you don't touch the guitar.
First you learn here, then here.
Lesson One: Chords.
Now, I don't know|the actual names of the chords.
But I made up names for the way|my hand looks while I'm doing them.
So then, this is "Bear Claw".
"Turkey Leg"...
...and "Old Lady".
What an interesting approach|to guitar instruction!
You know, some might find it amusing.|I myself find it regular.
Hey, everybody!
Rachel was so good today.|She didn't gossip at all.
I didn't.|Even when I found out...
Let's say I found out|something about someone...
...and let's just say...
...she's going to keep it.
Check this out.
You nailed the Old Lady!
I thought I was getting better,|so I stopped by this guitar store...
Did you touch|any of the guitars there?
Did you?
No.
Give me your hands.
Strings.
Pick.
Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Then don't touch one!
- Hi, Ben.|- Auntie Monica!
Ross is wearing leather pants!
Does nobody else see|Ross is wearing leather pants?
Someone comment on the pants!
- I think they're very nice.|- I really like them a lot.
Not what I had in mind.
People like Ross don't wear|these types of pants.
You see, they're very tight.
Maybe there's something in that area?
I think they look really good.
Where'd you get them?
I needed a "new thing" for today.
There's this leather store|that always smells so good.
And I thought to myself, "Wow!|I've never owned...
...a really good-smelling|pair of pants before."
Oh, come on!
What do you think?
You look like a freak.
Awful!
What are you doing?
- It's my New Year's resolution.|- To blind my child?
To take pictures of us together.
It's the best resolution.|Everyone can enjoy them.
Everyone will enjoy my music as well.
{y:i}My God, these pants!|{y:i}I'm burning up.
{y:i}Oh God! She wants to snuggle now?|{y:i}Is she trying to kill me?
{y:i}It's like a volcano in here!
Are you hot?
It must just be me then.
That was just the pants|and the couch.
Do you mind if I use your bathroom?
- Go ahead.|- Thanks.
My favorite part's coming up!
Oh, my God!
"Tiger."
"Dragon."
"Iceberg!"
Joseph, did you even study|at all last night?
Yes, I did!
Then do Iceberg.
G-sharp.
G-sharp?
Have you been studying|the real names of the chords?
Have you?
Oh, my God!
What? I didn't touch a guitar!
But you're questioning my method!
No, I'm not questioning it.|I'm saying it's stupid!
What?
Thank you.
You know, none of my other student...
...thought I was stupid.
Your other student was you!
Well, maybe you just need|to try a little harder!
Maybe I need to try a real teacher!
Here! Andy Cooper.|He teaches guitar.
There's a picture of him with a kid.
And the kid's got a guitar!
Fine!
You learn from|your "qualified instructor".
But don't come crying|when everyone is sick...
...of hearing you play|"Bad, Bad Leroy Brown"!
Oh, fine. Take his side!
{y:i}I can't wait to be with you.
{y:i}I'll sneak over as soon as I can.
{y:i}I'll tell Rachel|{y:i}I'll be doing laundry.
{y:i}Laundry.|{y:i}Is that my new nickname?
{y:i}You know what your nickname is,|{y:i}Mr. Big...
Joey, it's Ross.|I need some help.
Chandler's not here.
You can help me.
I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom.
Nice!
No, I got really hot in my pants|so I took them off.
But they must have shrunk|from the sweat.
Or my legs expanded from the heat.
I can't get them back on, Joey.|I can't!
That is quite a situation.
Do you see any powder?
Powder! Yeah, I have powder.
{y:i}Good, good.
Sprinkle some on.|It'll absorb moisture.
Then you can get your pants on.
Yeah, hold on.
They're not coming on, man.
You see any...|Oh, Vaseline?
I see lotion. I have lotion.|Will that work?
Sure, throw some of that on there.
{y:i}Hold on.
Ross, you okay?
They're still not coming on, man.
And the lotion and the powder|have made a paste.
Really?
What color is it?
What difference does that make?
If the paste matches the pants,|you can make paste pants...
...and she won't know!
Do you have a minute?
Dude, what am I...
Rachel's here, so good luck.|Let me know how it goes.
Joey, I have such a problem.
Your timing couldn't be better.
I'm putting out fires|all over the place.
I have got to tell you something.
What is it?
It's so huge! But promise me|you cannot tell anyone.
No, no, no!|I don't want to know.
You do want to know.|This is unbelievable!
I'm tired of being the guy|who knows all the secrets...
...and can't tell anyone.
You know secrets?
You're not supposed to gossip!
I can't keep this in.|So I pick up the phone...
I'm not listening to you!
You've been in there for a long time.
I'm starting to get|kind of freaked out.
All right, I'm coming out.
Hey, can you turn the lights off?
Let's just leave the lights on.
Oh, my God!
I had a problem.
I can't talk to you. I don't have|a fancy ad in the yellow pages.
I want to apologize for saying|your method was stupid.
And maybe, ask you|to be my teacher again?
I promise, I won't touch a guitar|until you say I'm ready.
You really think I'm ready?
Wow, cool!
Was the chord at least right...
Oh, my God!
We heard about your pants.|I'm so sorry.
This year was supposed to be great.
It's only the second day,|and I'm a loser...
...with stupid leather pants|that don't even fit!
You're not a loser.
Look at me!
Hey, look!
Ben drew a picture of you.
You're a cowboy!
Because of the leather pants?
He thinks you're a cowboy,|not a loser. That's something!
- It really is something.|- Howdy, partner!
Maybe I should get another pair.
You know, they had some...
...with fringe all down the sides.
I'm going to go kiss Ben good night.
I can't believe he thinks|I'm a cowboy!
I would make a good cowboy.
Now that everything's wrapped up,|I'll do my laundry.
Yeah, me too.|If this shirt is dirty.
I'm going to the airport.
If I hang around there|long enough...
...someone's bound to leave|a plane unattended.
- Good luck, honey.|- Bye.
Remember that thing|I was going to tell you about?
I won't tell you.|But if you found out on your own...
That would be okay,|and we could talk about it.
Well, then it wouldn't be a secret.|So that would be okay.
Would you mind going|into Chandler's bedroom...
...and getting that book|he borrowed from me?
Now? You want me|to go over there now?
- Do you know something?|- Do you?
- I might know something.|- I might too.
- What do you know?|- You tell me first.
- I can't.|- Then I can't.
Okay, fine.
You don't know.
I'll walk into his bedroom|and see the thing...
...I think I know is actually|the thing I think I know!
- You know!|- And you know!
Yeah, I know!
Chandler and Monica?|Oh, this is unbelievable!
- How long have you known?|- Too long!
I've been dying to talk|to someone about this!
You can't say anything to anybody.|They're so weird about that.
It's raining.
I don't like to fly in the rain.
I am going to go for a walk|in the rain.
Me too.
That's weird.
I bet they're doing it.
Okay, look.|I can't take it anymore.
So you win. Okay?|Here.
Fly a jet?|Make it a spaceship...
...so you can get back|to your home planet!
Phone call for you. Tom Jones.|He wants his pants back!
And Hornswoggle? Are you dating|a character from "Fraggle Rock"? |
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Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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