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Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes

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I deliver perfection...|and don't brag about it! :D
Pick a card.
All right. Now, memorize it.
- You got it?|- Oh, yes.
Is that your card?
- Hey, guys.|- Hi there!
Guess what?|Ben is gonna be in a TV commercial.
What are you talking about?
It's not for sure.
We met this guy in the park|who thought Ben was cute.
You know, which he is.|He gave us his card...
...and told us to bring him|for this commercial he's auditioning.
The biggest commercial|casting director in town!
Ben takes one lousy walk|in the park and gets an audition?
I mean, way to go, Ben!
I've been there a million times|and no one's offered me an audition.
It's crazy. We were pushing|Ben on the swings...
I'm always on the swings!
What am I doing wrong?
The One Where Rachel Smokes
English Subtitles by|GELULA & CO., INC.
- Gotta go. Wish me luck.|- Good luck.
Since you work at Ralph Lauren,|can you get me some shirts?
I don't know if I'd feel comfortable|stealing on my very first day.
Unwilling to steal from work.
If anybody gets free stuff,|it's me.
Okay, guys, way to wish me luck.
Go get 'em!
Let's discuss Rachel's birthday.
I say we throw|a surprise party this weekend.
But her birthday's|not for another month.
If we throw a party on her birthday,|it's not a surprise.
Great! We can have a dinner party|and invite her close friends.
Ross! We're having|a surprise party for Rachel.
Great. Wanna do it together?
I'd love to do it together!
They're gonna do it together.
That's my girlfriend.
So I gotta shut it down now?
I gotta go.|I'm picking up Ben...
...and then we're off|to the big audition.
It'll be weird seeing some actor|pretending to be Ben's dad.
Weirder than his two moms making out?
Dad? There's a dad|in the commercial?
Yeah. The dad and Ben eat soup|and pretend to enjoy it.
Maybe I'll go with you|and audition as the dad.
Who better to play Ben's dad|than his godfather?
- You're not his godfather.|- What?
Are you kidding?
Of course I am.
- Okay, let's go, godfather.|- All right!
They'll let me audition!
Really? That's great!
One of the casting ladies|has actually seen me in a play.
So I steered clear of her.
- That kid looks familiar.|- Oh, yeah.
He's done tons of commercials:|Sugar Smacks, PlayStation...
...and for the phone company.
He was so good, he convinced me|to switch phone companies.
Chandler was mad.
He's not gonna get this one.|Ben is way cuter than that kid.
I mean, look at him.
That's great.
Wouldn't it be great|if I got to play Ben's dad?
You look nothing like Ben.
I look more like him than you do.
I really don't know you|well enough for you to do that.
So it's down to these two.|Nancy, I know you like this one.
I think I agree.|Rachel, what do you think?
Well, that one is pretty...
...but I just love this fabric.
Don't be. Part of your job|is to give your opinions.
Then I take credit for them.|I'm kidding!
She is kidding. But don't ever|disagree with her again.
Okay, now I'm kidding!
What a fun office.
I don't know which one.|But I do know I need a cigarette.
Let's take a break, go outside|and sort this out when we return.
- You smoke?|- No.
My dad's a doctor. And he would|always tell me horror stories...
About ghosts and goblins...
...who totally supported|the princess's right to smoke.
Then they came back from smoking|and they'd made all of the decisions.
- That's not fair.|- I know.
It's like I'm being punished|for not having this disgusting habit.
Yeah, it is the best.
What if this keeps happening?
They'll be smoking,|making the decisions...
...and I'll be up in my office|breathing in my stupid clean air.
And when Kim wants|to promote one of us...
...who do you think she'll pick?|Me or Smokey Smokerson?
You can go down there and not smoke.|Say you want some fresh air.
I could do that.
Or you could do|the easy thing and smoke.
Do you wanna go get coffee?
- I would love to.|- Oh, good.
I'm gonna go too.
Oh, good.
Oh, I changed my mind.
Let's talk about the party.|I have so many ideas.
Me too!
Oh, look at that.
This is a little sketch|of the cake. See?
Some sample menus.
I thought we'd start with|a Tuscan-style finger food.
And for music, here's an|alphabetized list of all of my CDs.
I've highlighted the ones|that'll go with the food.
- What about the dinner party?|- We're not doing that.
Looks like you took care of|everything. Thanks a lot, cohost.
Wait a minute. There's plenty|of things for you to do.
Like what?
You're giving me cups?
And ice.
Cups and ice? I get to be|in charge of cups and ice?
All right.
Fine. I will be|in charge of cups and ice.
- I can get ice at the restaurant...|- I got it!
- How did the audition go?|- Not so good.
Wait a minute.|Are you doing Joey's...
..."The audition didn't go so well.|Yeah, it did!"
Yeah, I am!
- Yeah, Ben got a second audition.|- Oh, great!
I had to teach Ross my bit because|I actually didn't get a callback.
You got a callback too, didn't you?
Yeah, I did!
What are you doing out here?
It got kind of lonely up there,|so I thought I would come out here...
...and get some fresh air.
We're discussing the fall collection.
Oh, great.
Anyway, we really...
- Sorry. We're smoking all over you.|- That's okay.
We'll move. You stay there.
I sent the designs to Ralph.|He was excited about it.
That's great!|You are the best!
Excuse me.|Can I bum one of those?
Actually, this one's...
What's so funny over here?
I thought you didn't smoke.
You know, I thought you guys|meant marijuana cigarettes.
You know what I mean?|Doobies?
Actually, I thought to myself,|"Those guys are crazy!"
But no, I smoke the|regular ones all the time.
We get high.
Me too.
I'm kidding.
Me too.
Oh, God! This is so nerve-racking.|How do you do this?
Fortunately, I don't get|many callbacks so...
Is it a good sign that|they asked us to wait?
Who knows?
We have narrowed it down|to Raymond, Ben, Kyle...
...and Joey.|The rest of you, thank you.
Yes! I knew it!
So long.
This is great!|I might get to play Ben's dad.
That can't happen.
Because you have|such different looks...
...we're putting you with Raymond|and Kyle with Ben.
So it'll either be|you two or you two.
- This is gonna be kind of weird.|- Yeah, it is.
Yeah. It's gonna be weird.
No. We're like best friends.|That's why it's weird.
I thought we were just talking.
Is it okay if I leave this here|till Rachel's birthday party?
- Sure. What's in them?|- Cups.
Good, because we got Rachel|800 gallons of water.
That's a lot of cups.
I'm in charge of cups and ice.
And Monica's gonna rue the day|she put me in charge of cups and ice.
You know, I rued the day once.|Didn't get a whole lot else done.
Okay, time to bring up|the rest of the cups.
Ross, I'm glad you're here.
- I want to talk to you.|- What's up?
I've been thinking about this|commercial thing. Me against Ben.
The two of us competing.|That can't lead to anything good.
I think I'm just gonna step aside.|I'll tell them that I won't audition.
Joey, that's great.|Thanks, man.
That's it?
You're gonna let me do this?|It's my career we're talking about!
But you just...
I said that so|you wouldn't let Ben do it.
If anyone should step aside,|it should be Ben.
- What?|- Chandler, tell him!
Well, let me get the door first.
Hi, no one!
Why should Ben step aside?
It was his audition in the|first place. You tagged along.
You're like the tag-along dad!
I care about his feelings.
You know how hard it'll be on him|when he doesn't get it?
And why wouldn't he get it?
Come on!
Have you seen what my kid can do?
He dials phones,|he eats tortilla chips.
He plays soccer|with the cartoon tiger!
Are you saying your kid eats soup|better than my kid?
You just give him a spoon, baby.
Oh, yeah? I guess we'll see!
This commercial belongs|to me and Mitch!
- Your kid's name is Raymond!|- Yeah? So is yours!
- How did work go?|- It was great.
I went down there like you said.|And we talked business.
And Kim took my opinions.
You stink!
- Thanks.|- No, I'm serious.
Because I went down|and they were smoking.
This is actually the smell of success.
But there's something different.
Oh, my God! You smoked!
I did not.
Yes, you did. You look|happy and sick. You smoked!
All right, fine! But I had to.|I had to do it for my career.
I wish I had to smoke for my career.
That's so gross!
It's not that bad, you know?
Yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy|and my fingers sort of smell.
I actually feel like I could throw up.
But you gotta push past this, okay?|Because it's about to get so good.
You smell so smoky,|I gotta get up.
I'm not kidding.
I think you smell great.
So we're decided.|No on plaid, yes on pink.
I'm so onboard.
- Didn't you just light that?|- Yeah.
But you know what?
I'm just really, really|trying to cut back, you know.
Good luck, Rach.
I've been thinking about quitting.
Every Sunday night,|I say I'm quitting.
Every Monday morning, it's like...
Tell me about it.
We'll just quit.|Let's all quit!
It sounds appealing.
- I never could do it.|- But you could. Absolutely.
We can help each other.|We could get those patches.
We could be like the Patch Sisters.
You know, we really should quit.|Okay, let's quit!
Great! Give me those cigs.|Come on!
Give it! Out. Done. Quit.
My late husband gave me that lighter.
I'm not kidding.
Okay, then.
Mmm... soup.
Mmm... soup.
Would you mind watching Ben for me|while I use the ladies' room?
- No problem.|- Thanks.
So you want to be an actor?|I gotta tell you, it's no picnic.
There's tons of rejection.|No stability.
I mean, one day,|you're Dr. Drake Ramoray.
The next day, you're eating|ketchup out of the bottle.
I mean, Ben. Ben.
Raymond, Joey, you're up.
All right, let's try one.|Whenever you guys are ready.
Is there a problem?
Well, this is noodle soup.|And I've been working with tomato.
But that's okay. No problem.
Mmm... noodle soup.
You know, that's fine.|But the line is, "Mmm... soup".
- What'd I say?|- Mmm... noodle soup.
How's that different?
All right. Let's try one.
...noodle soup.
Let's do it again.
Mmm... soup.
I mean, noodle soup.|I mean, soup!
Come on!
You know what?|We need to move on.
No, I could do it one more time.
Mmm... noodle soup.
Damn it!
Come on! What are you doing?|I thought we were the Patch Sisters.
That didn't work out.
We tried to quit.|But it was too hard.
If you started smoking again,|you could have at least told me.
Give me one.|What are we talking about?
Don't you give up.
That's why we didn't tell you,|and we won't drag you down.
Wait. No, no.|Drag me down.
We're so proud|of how well you're doing.
I won't let you blow it.|If I catch you, you're fired.
Go on, get out of here.|I don't want you breathing this stuff.
So, okay. You'll come with me|on the Paris trip?
Oh, man!
Check it out.|Cup hat, cup banner...
...cup chandelier and the thing|that started it all. The cup!
Great job with the cups.
Why don't you just go out with her?
Did you notice the ice? Look!
We have it all. We have crushed,|cubed and dry. Watch.
No one's eating my food.|They're eating her snow cones!
There are snow cones?
- Go, go!|- Thank you.
- Look, look!|- Surprise!
What? My birthday is not|for another month.
That's the surprise.
Oh, my God, you guys!|This is so great! It's so unexpected.
I mean, Chandler's birthday's|even before mine.
This is so great!|Look at all these...
This is so weird.
I was in charge of cups.
Oh, okay. Not so weird.
Listen, man. I'm sorry|the audition didn't go well.
Yeah, right.
No, really. I am, Joey.|I feel bad.
Look, Ross.|You don't have to, okay?
It's not your fault I suck.
What kind of an actor can't even say,|"Mmm... noodle soup"?
You know what? Maybe you didn't|mess up your audition because you suck.
Maybe you messed up because|you care more about your godson.
What do you mean?
I think, subconsciously...
You lost me.
I think, on some level,|you sabotaged...
...your own audition|so Ben would get the part.
Your way sounds|a lot better than mine.
It's not that I'm a bad actor.
No, it's just that I care|so damn much about little Ben...
...that it was more important|for me to see him succeed.
- There you go. Thank you.|- Thank you.
- So did he get it?|- No.
What are you gonna do?
Is Rachel Greene here?|I'm meeting her for lunch.
She doesn't come down anymore.|You'll find her on 10.
Okay, great.
So we talked|about the presentation.
He wondered if one person|would be enough.
And I said, "Yeah, absolutely."
I'll catch you guys later.
Face 2004
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Fahrenheit 451 (1966)
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Fahrenheit 911 CD2
Fail Safe
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Fallen Angels 1995
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Family Guy 01x01 - Death Has a Shadow
Family Guy 01x02 - I Never Met the Dead Man
Family Guy 01x03 - Chitty Chitty Death Bang
Family Guy 01x04 - Mind Over Murder
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Family Guy 01x07 - Brian Portrait of a Dog
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Family Man The
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Far From Heaven
Far Off Place A 1993
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Farewell Home sweet Home (Otar Iosseliani 1999)
Fargo - 1996 CD1 25fps
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Farscape - 1x01 - Premiere
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Farscape - 1x11 - Till the Blood Runs Clear
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Farscape - 1x14 - Jeremiah Crichton
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Farscape - 1x18 - A Bugs Life
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Farscape - 2x12 - Look At The Princess II - I Do I Think
Farscape - 2x13 - Look At The Princess III - The Maltese Crichton
Farscape - 2x14 - Beware Of Dog
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Farscape - 2x16 - The Locket
Farscape - 2x17 - The Ugly Truth
Farscape - 2x18 - A Clockwork Nebari
Farscape - 2x19 - Liars Guns and Money I - A Not So Simple Plan
Farscape - 2x20 - Liars Guns and Money II - With Friends Like These
Farscape - 2x21 - Liars Guns and Money III - Plan B
Farscape - 2x22 - Die Me Dichotomy
Farscape - 3x01 - Season Of Death
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Farscape - 3x06 - Eat Me
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Farscape - 3x08 - Green Eyed Monster
Farscape - 3x09 - Losing Time
Farscape - 3x10 - Relativity
Farscape - 3x11 - Incubator
Farscape - 3x12 - Meltdown
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Farscape - 3x14 - Infinite Possibilities I - Daedalus Demands
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Farscape - 3x16 - Revenging Angel
Farscape - 3x17 - The Choice
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Farscape - 4x20 - We are So Screwed - Hot To Katratzi (Part 2)
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Friends - 02x15 - the one where ross and rachel you know
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Friends - 10x04 - TOW the cake
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Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
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Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
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Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
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Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2