Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Oh, hey, you guys?
I couldn't get a reservation|for the night of my birthday...
...so we'll have to do dinner|Thursday night.
- Thursday? But that's Halloween.|- So?
It's just spooky, that's all.
So is Mike coming to dinner?
No. It's my first birthday|with a boyfriend, and he has to work.
I'd get mad at him, but I think|it's too soon to show my true colors.
I would make the reservation for five.|One of us has to stay with Emma.
- Which one of us should go to dinner?|- Rachel!
Actually, I was thinking|maybe both of us could go.
Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought|into your gift.
All right, so great, we can all go now.
That is fun! Hey! You know what?
We all haven't been together,|the six of us, in such a long time.
What are you talking about?|We're together now.
Mon? Chandler's not here.
Oh, dear God.
The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner
Ripped by|mrnch@dh.net.mk
Subtitles processed by|Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004
Hello. It's nice to see|our team together for the first time.
Now, before we get started,|are there any questions?
- Yes. Ken, is it?|- That's right.
Is it true the reason you're in Tulsa is,|you fell asleep in a meeting...
...and took the job without realizing|what you were saying yes to?
Well, don't believe|everything you hear, Ken.
But yeah, that's true.
All right, let's get started by taking|a look at last quarter's figures.
Claudia, aren't you supposed|to blow smoke up the boss's ass?
- I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?|- No. I smoked for years. Then I quit.
Right now, I can't remember why.
You're not allowed to smoke|in this office, right?
Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke|in offices with 15 people or less.
- Would you like one?|- All right, look. I don't smoke anymore.
But if the rest of you want to light up,|go ahead, it's fine.
So you all smoke, then?
You know, it's almost rude|that I'm not smoking.
- That's not true. If you don't want...|- Ken, please!
No, I can't. I can't smoke.|If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
I'm sorry, but isn't your wife|back in New York?
I've always liked you, Ken.
Trick or treat.
- Hey.|- And "treat" it is.
Wow. So glad I changed.
I almost wore my threadbare robe|that can't contain my breasts.
This is not what I'm wearing.|I'm ovulating...
...and Chandler's gonna be home.|So I thought we would try before dinner.
Wait, does that...? You guys won't|be late for my dinner, will you?
We haven't seen each other|in over a week.
We'll probably be the first ones there.
Okay. See you there. Happy humping.
Hey. Well, hey!
Wow, somebody smoked out here?
My God, don't people know you're|not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
Actually, in Oklahoma smoking's legal|in offices with fewer than 15 people.
Oh, you smoked.
No. I just happen to know a lot of trivia|about smoking in different states.
For example, in Hawaii,|cigarettes are called "lei-lana-lukus."
- Oh, Chandler, you stink of cigarettes!|- Do you think Monica will smell it?
Are you kidding? That woman|has the nose of a bloodhound.
And the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Pheebs?
I'm gonna go.
Okay. Something to cover the smell.
Oven cleaner.
Unscented.
Welcome home.
I've missed you.
- You want to join me in the bedroom?|- No, thanks, I'm good.
Okay. So you want to play it|that way, do you?
Well, you know what, actually,|I just got off a plane...
...so I'm feeling gross.|I should take a shower.
- Come here, you don't need a shower.|- All right, the truth is...
...I soiled myself|during some turbulence.
What do I smell? I smell smoke.
Did you smoke?
Yes. But I just had one.
Two.
Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five.
A pack. Two pack... A carton.
Three big fat cartons in two days!
But it's over. I've made a decision,|I'm not gonna smoke anymore.
Well, those are for you.
All right. Well, we'll just see you|when you get here. Bye.
Oh, that was my mom.|She's stuck in terrible traffic.
That is now the third sign|that I should not leave Emma.
- What are the other two?|- Well, the first one is, I don't want to.
And second one, I'm not going.
I know this is the first time|we're leaving the baby.
I know how hard it is for you. But...
But everything's gonna be fine.|I mean, my mom is gonna be with her.
- She's great with kids.|- She is?
Yeah.
What about Monica?
You only hear Monica's side of that.|Okay, that little fatso was a terror!
- I just don't think I can do it.|- Know what? You can and you should.
Really, it will be good for you.
In fact, you know what?
Go ahead to the restaurant,|and I will wait for my mom...
...and then I'll meet you there.|No, no, really, you should go. Go out.
Really, the world is your oyster.|Kick up your heels. Paint the town red!
- You need to learn some new slang.|- I'm serious. Come on, you should go.
Here. No, just go.
- Well...|- No, no! You know what?
You're not getting back in there!|The baby's fine. Now, scram!
Yeah, tell your story walking!
I was just going to say|that I left my keys.
Holy moley, are we in a pickle now!
Where is everyone?|They're 40 minutes late.
- I know.|- I'm starving.
I knew we were coming here tonight.|I ate nothing all day.
What about me?|I only had one lunch today.
So are we expecting|the rest of our party shortly?
Yes, they are expected presently.|Yeah.
Their arrival is in the offing.
Right. We have a table for two available.
- Perhaps you'd...|- No, they're coming.
We're waiting right here.
Joseph!
One needn't worry.|They shan't be long.
It's just that we do have|some large parties waiting.
Oh, one really does have a stick|up one's ass, doesn't one?
How can you smoke in this day and age?|Have you not seen that ad?
Where the little kid walks|through Grandpa? It's chilling!
I messed up. It was a meeting.|Everybody was smoking.
So what? Don't you have any willpower?
Willpower? I've watched home movies|of you eating Ding Dongs...
...without taking the tinfoil off!
You said that was sexy!
Okay, look, can we just drop this?|I'm not gonna smoke again.
That's right, because I forbid you|to smoke again.
You forbid me?
I've flown a long way|to see my loving wife.
Is she here, by the way?
Chandler, don't joke with me. Okay?|I'm very, very upset right now.
- Is this the most upset you could be?|- I think so.
Well, then I might as well...
...do this.
Not really sure what to do now.
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We're already late|for Phoebe's birthday dinner.
So you're going to put out|that cigarette...
...we're gonna put this fight on hold,|and go have sex.
Fine. What?
Sex! This is the last day I'm ovulating.|If we don't do it...
...we're gonna have to wait|until next month!
You're serious?
- Oh, yeah!|- All right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking!
- And no cuddling.|- And no kissing your neck.
Oh, good! I hate it when you do that!
And lots of kissing your neck!
Okay, well, the super's not home.
But my mother's gonna be here,|and she has the key.
I can't wait that long. You have to do|something. Knock that door down!
I would, but I bruise like a peach.
Besides, you know, everything's|gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping.
- What if she jumps out of the bassinet?|- Can't hold her head up, but jumped.
Oh, my God!|I left the water running!
You did not leave the water running.|Please, pull yourself together, okay?
- Well, did I leave the stove on?|- You haven't cooked since 1996.
Is the window open? If the window's|open a bird could fly in and...
My God, you know what?|I think you're right.
- Listen.|- What? What?
A pigeon. No. No, wait, no.|An eagle flew in!
Landed on the stove and caught fire!
The baby, seeing this, jumps across|the apartment to the mighty bird's aid.
The eagle, however, misconstrues this|as an act of aggression...
...and grabs the baby in its talon.
Meanwhile, the faucet|fills the apartment with water.
Baby and bird, still ablaze,|are locked in a death grip...
...swirling around the whirlpool|that fills the apartment!
Boy, are you gonna be sorry|if that's true.
- Hello.|- Hi.
It's been an hour.
The maitre d' asked if you'd reconsider|switching to a smaller table.
Maybe we should just eat now.
You can't order until the entire|party's arrived. Restaurant policy.
Well, how about this?|Another table leaves, right...
...but there's still some food left|on their plates.
Okay, what's the restaurant's policy|about people eating that?
- It's frowned upon.|- But it happens.
- All right, I got to go to the bathroom.|- You can't go.
No, no, no.|I can't hold this table on my own.
If they ask me to move, I'll cave.
Well, if you ask me to stay, I'll pee.
Good evening, miss.
Miss?
Miss? Miss?
Okay, fine, I'll move. All right.|You don't have to manhandle me.
Where? Okay.
Thank you. Wow.
Finally. You guys made it.
Pheebs, who the hell...?
Spend more time with the tie!|That will make a baby.
Look, I can't do this. I can't make love|to you while we're fighting this way.
Oh, sure. Now you're Mr. Sensitivity.
But when you wanted to have sex|after my uncle's funeral...
That was a celebration of life!
All right, I'm not gonna do this.
Is this the way you want our baby|to be conceived?
No, you're right.
No, we shouldn't do it like this.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have come down on you|so hard about the smoking.
So you had a few cigarettes.|It's not the end of the world.
- Really?|- Yeah.
You are incredible.
And listen,|I'm not gonna smoke again.
And if I do, I promise|I will hide it so much better from you.
- Want to?|- Let's celebrate life!
Okay!
Oh, God.
Oh, thank God you're okay.
I'm sorry we left.|Mommy will never leave you again.
Never, ever, ever again.
Great. So let's get going.
I mean it. After what just happened,|I'm never leaving her again.
I understand. Separation is hard.
One time I was about to leave Ross|to go to the beauty parlor.
And he got so upset|he took off all his clothes...
...tucked his willy between his legs...
...and cried out, "Mommy, I'm a girl.|Take me with you."
Somehow, over time,|it got easier to be apart from you.
You are welcome.
- You know what? Let's not talk.|- What?
- I am still so mad at you for smoking!|- But you said you forgave me.
It was just a couple of cigarettes,|no big deal.
I was ovulating and you said you|wouldn't have sex if we were fighting.
- You tricked me to get me into bed?|- That's right. I got mine.
I feel so used.
Well, I guess they're not coming.|You want to just order?
Thank you.
Waiter? All right, this is gonna|go fast, so try to keep up.
Risotto with shaved truffles|and the rib steak...
...with the golden chanterelles|and the Bordelaise sauce...
...unless any of that stuff I just said|means "snails."
- It does not.|- Tomato tart...
...and which of the pastas|would you recommend?
- Oh, well they're both exquisite...|- Both it is. Thank you.
Oh, can I make a special request?
Can you bring everything|as it's ready?
- Appetizers, entrees, we don't care.|- Hey!
- I'll wait to put your order in.|- You guys are over an hour late.
- What happened to you two?|- So sorry.
- We got locked out of the apartment.|- That's a great story. Can I eat it?
And then Rachel wasn't sure|she could leave the baby.
It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday|and I did what I had to do.
And that's Judy over there at the bar|with Emma?
This is for the best. I'm not distracted,|worrying about Emma...
...how she's doing at home, and I'm|gonna be completely here with you.
- Oh, she spit up. She spit up.|- What?
Judy? She spit...|Judy, look alive, Judy!
- Thank you.|- Thanks.
Oh, everything looks delicious.
What should I have?|What should I have?
Never hit a woman.|Never hit a woman.
I know what you mean,|this menu's incredible.
Ross bruises like a peach.|He bruises like a peach.
Okay, I'll have the fig salad|and the duck.
I'll have the soup and the salmon.
Remember, whatever comes up first,|okay?
- Hurry...|- Happy birthday!
Son of a bitch!
- Where have you been?|- Well, we had a little fight.
I would never lie|to get someone into bed.
You used to tell girls|you were a Kennedy.
Thanks.
Thanks. Wow.
A little tight, isn't it?|Why didn't you get a bigger table?
You had a big table|but they made you move.
Shut up, Monica.
Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler|will have the smoked duck.
And I suppose that Monica|will have the manipulative shrew.
- I'll give you another minute.|- What, where you going?
He said she wanted the shrew!
Rach, come on, Emma's fine.
You're turning into an obsessive|mother, okay? You need to stop.
You ever hear the story about when|Ross' mom went to the beauty salon?
- You mean the willy story?|- They already know it.
We've been waiting for you|for a long time.
- You should order.|- That's okay.
- I told the waiter what they want.|- Why would you do that?
Chandler, control your woman.
Okay, well...|Everybody has ordered.
I would like to start the celebration|and make a toast to Phoebe.
- She dropped her sock.|- What?
- No. No, Emma dropped her sock.|- Mom's here?
I wanted to have lunch with her today.|She told me she was out of town.
She still has not noticed|that the baby's sock is on the ground.
It's a good toast.
Look, will you please get her attention?
Mommy?
Oh, for God's sake, Judy,|pick up the sock!
Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
I'm sorry, was that rude?
Did my little outburst...
...blunt the hideousness|that is this evening?
Look, I know you have a lot going on...
...but all I wanted to do was have|dinner with my friends on my birthday.
And you are all so late, and you|didn't even have the courtesy to call.
Well, it's too late now.
Pheebs, I don't think that's us.
Oh, well, this is... This is not over!|Hello?
- What is going on with you two?|- Well, you see, I'm ovulating.
Oh, yeah, that's what she says.
Maybe you're not ovulating. Maybe|it's a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Yeah, Smokey, that's what it was.|I just can't get enough.
You're not gonna believe this.
She tricked me|into having sex with her.
So? You got to have sex, right?
What's the matter with me?|Why am I such a girl?
- Okay. That was Mike.|- Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry.
You are totally right.|We are here 100 percent...
...and we love you, and we are ready|to start your birthday celebration.
You guys, that means the world to me.
Okay, I'm gonna take off.
What?
I love you guys too, but|Mike got off work early.
Wait.
I'm not the... I'm not the kind of girl|that just ditches her friends...
...to be with her boyfriend.
You know what? I am.
Bye, guys. Judy! Bye.
If Phoebe's gone,|can we take Emma home?
That's a good idea. Our babysitter|just pounded another chardonnay.
- Bye, you guys.|- Bye.
See you. Well, I guess it's just us.
So I'm probably still ovulating.|Do you want to give it another try?
So you've never had sex|with a Kennedy, have you?
- You're gonna go do it?|- We don't have much time.
Once the egg descends into the|fallopian tube...
Oh, wait, oh, get out of here!
I sincerely hope the rest of your party|is returning.
No, just me. All alone.
Dinner for six for one.
Well, you boys are about|to see something really special.
- How was everything?|- Excellent.
The shrew, in particular, was exquisite.
I hope you've got some room left.
Joey. Joey.
This is the best birthday ever!
[ENGLISH]
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3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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