Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
And that's why,|no matter what Mommy says...
...we really were on a break.|Yes, we were.
Yes, we were.|Come here, gorgeous.
Look at you.|You are the cutest little baby ever.
You're just a little-bitty baby,|you know that? But you've got...
You've got big, beautiful eyes.
Yes, you do. And a...|And a big, round belly.
Big baby butt.
I like big butts.
Oh, my God, Emma.|You're laughing.
Oh, my God. You've never|done that before, have you?
You've never done that before.|Daddy made you laugh, huh?
Well, Daddy and Sir Mix-A-Lot.
What? What?|You wanna hear some more?
I'm a terrible father.
The One With Ross' Inappropriate Song
Ripped by|mrnch@dh.net.mk
Subtitles processed by|Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004
- What do you know about investments?|- How come?
I'm starting to make good money on the|show, and I should do something with it.
- What do you do with your money now?|- It's taped to the back of my toilet tank.
I didn't say that.|It's in a bank guarded by robots.
- Do you have any ideas?|- A guy at work got me excited...
...about going in on an emu farm.|That'd be kind of cool, huh?
Pitching in on the weekends,|helping to plant the emus.
Joe, emus are birds.|You raise them for meat.
Yeah. Right!
People eat birds. Bird meat.
Do they just fly into your mouth?|Or you go in a restaurant and say:
"Excuse me, I'll have|a bucket of fried bird."
Or maybe just a wing. Or a...
You should consider something|a little less risky.
I think real estate is|your best investment.
The Fed just lowered the rates, and the|interest on your mortgage is deductible.
That's right. I know some stuff.
Real estate, huh?
And you know who's selling|a great apartment? Richard!
And you know whose knowledge of|her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!
- My dad told me. They play golf together.|- Well, maybe I'll join them sometime.
I just hope the club doesn't|slip out of my hand...
...and beat the mustache|off his face.
Hi! You have to help me pick a dress.|I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight.
Wow, the boyfriend's parents.|That's a big step.
- Really? That hadn't occurred to me.|- They'll love you. Just be yourself.
They live on the Upper East Side|on Park Avenue.
Yeah, she can't be herself.
Okay, so, all right, which dress?
- You can say neither.|- Oh, God. Neither.
I'm sorry. We'll take you shopping.|It'll be fine.
You are in such good hands,|and I am so good with meeting parents.
With the father, you wanna flirt a little,|but not in a gross way.
Just kind of like, "Mr. Pinzer, I can|see where Wallace gets his good looks."
- You went out with Wallace Pinzer?|- He took the SATs for me.
- I knew you didn't get a 1400!|- Yeah, well, duh! I mean...
So now, what about with Mike's mom?
Well, with the mother, just constantly|tell her how amazing her son is.
Take it from me. Moms love me.|Ross' mom one time actually said...
...I am like the daughter|that she never had.
- She said what?|- She's like the daughter she never had.
Listen.
I just got Phoebe all dressed|to meet Mike's parents.
She's so nervous. It's so sweet.
Guess what. I made Emma laugh today.
You what? And I missed it...
...because I was giving a makeover|to that stupid hippie?!
Yeah, and it was like|a real little person laugh too.
It was like:
Only not creepy.
- What did you do to make her laugh?|- I...
Well, I sang. Actually...
...I rapped...
..."Baby Got Back."
You what?
You sang to our baby daughter...
...a song about a guy|who likes to have sex...
...with women with giant asses?
You know what,|if you think about it...
...it actually promotes|a healthy body image...
...because even big butts...
...or "juicy doubles" are...
Please don't take her away from me.
Hi, come on in.|I'm Catherine, the listing agent.
Hi, I'm Joey. This is Chandler.
So how come Richard's selling|the place? Went bankrupt?
Medical malpractice?|Choked on his own mustache?
He's buying a much bigger place.|It's got a great view of Central Park...
That's enough out of you.
Is there anything we should know|about the place?
All the appliances are included.|There's a lot of light, a new kitchen.
I think you guys would be|very happy here.
No, we're not together.|We're definitely not a couple.
- Okay. Sorry.|- That's all right.
Wow, you seemed|pretty insulted by that.
What, I'm not good enough for you?
We are not gonna have|this conversation again.
Look at this place.|Why am I so intimidated by this guy?
Pretentious art.|This huge, macho couch.
When we know|all he does is sit around...
...crying about losing Monica|to a real man.
- You don't think he's here, do you?|- I don't know.
It's a nice place, but I gotta say,|I don't know if I see myself living here.
Well, let me see.
Yeah, I can see it.
Look at these videos.|I mean, who does he think he is?
"Magnum Force", "Dirty Harry",|{y:i}Cool Hand Luke.
- Oh, my God.|- What?
There's a tape here|with Monica's name on it.
A tape with a girl's name on it.|It's probably a sex tape.
Wait a minute.
This says "Monica."
And this is Richard's apartment.
Get there faster!
Wow. You look...
...like my mom.
I'm wearing pantyhose.
- Great! Come on in.|- Okay.
Thank you.
- Oh, my God. You're rich.|- No, my parents are rich.
Well, so? They gotta die someday.|Hello!
Mom, Dad, this is Phoebe.
Phoebe, these are my parents,|Theodore and Bitsy.
Theodore, Bitsy...
...what a delight.
- It's so nice to finally meet you.|- And you.
Your home is lovely.
Thank you. I'll give you a tour later.|It's actually three floors.
Holy crap!
Why don't you come meet our friends.
Try and stop me.
- What are you doing?|- Trying to get your parents to like me.
I'm sure they will,|but you don't have to do this.
I want them to get to know Phoebe,|not "Phoebe."
- You've got it.|- All right.
It's hard to stop.
Well, come on.
Phoebe, these are our friends|Tom and Sue Engel.
Phoebe, come sit.|Tell us a little bit about yourself.
- So where are you from?|- Okay.
Well, all right.|Originally, I'm from upstate...
...but then my mom killed herself,|and my stepdad went to prison.
So I moved to the city, where I lived in|a burned-out Buick LeSabre for a while.
Which was okay. That was okay.
Until I got hepatitis, you know...
...because this pimp spit|in my mouth and...
But I got over it.
And, anyway, now I'm|a freelance massage therapist...
...which isn't always steady money,|but at least I don't pay taxes.
So where does everyone summer?
- Oh, God, this is not going well.|- No, you're doing fine. Really.
- Why don't you go talk to my dad.|- Okay, okay, okay.
- Still sure about me being myself?|- Absolutely.
Though maybe just|a little less "pimp spit."
So, Theodore, I can see|where Mike gets his good looks from.
Well...
- You must work out all the time.|- Not all the time. I do the best I can.
Yeah, I bet. Look out!
- Oh, my God. Are you okay?|- I recently had surgery.
- I'm so sorry.|- No, I'll be fine.
- I just should check the stitches.|- I really am sorry.
How could you know? Why wouldn't|you punch me in the stomach?
Did you just hit my dad?
Yes. I'm sorry. I've never met|a boyfriend's parents before.
But, I mean, you have met|humans before, right?
Why don't you go talk to my mom.
Okay, yeah, your mom.|She looks nice. I can talk to her.
You do that, and I'm gonna go check|my dad for signs of internal bleeding.
Bitsy? Listen, I wanted to thank you|again for having me here tonight.
Well, not at all.
Also, I just want you to know|what a wonderful man your son is.
- Thank you. I think so too.|- It's a testament to how he was raised.
Especially to you,|because he's very respectful of women.
- Is he really?|- He is so considerate of my feelings.
You know, I think you'd also like|to know that he is a very gentle lover.
Excuse me?
No, don't get me wrong.|No, not in like a sissy way.
When he gets going...
...he can rattle a headboard|like a sailor on leave.
That's... my boy.
Awesome.
I'm not gonna watch it.|I don't need to watch it.
I mean, what good could|possibly come from watching it?
Well, we know I'm gonna watch it.
- Hey, dude, what's up?|- Don't judge me! I'm only human!
Did you take that tape?
I had to! Lmagine you were married|and you found a tape of your wife...
...in another guy's apartment. Wouldn't|you need to know what was on it?
I don't know. Who am I married to?
Some girl.
She hot?
How did she get me to settle down?
All right, I'm gonna watch it.
I mean, it's probably|not even what I think it is.
Even if it is, it can't possibly be as|bad as what I'm picturing in my head.
Can it?
See, in my experience,|if a girl says yes to being taped...
...she doesn't say no to much else,|I'll tell you.
- Then you have to watch it for me.|- What?
Just for a few seconds|so I can know what it is. Please?
All right, fine. But if I enjoy this,|you have only yourself to blame!
- Why am I hearing cheering?|- It's okay. It's just a football game.
- It's just football?|- You were all worried for nothing.
It's football! It's just football!
This is great! This is the first time|I've ever enjoyed football!
I think it may be customary|to get a beer!
What the...?
- What are you doing?|- You don't wanna see what I just saw!
What are you guys doing?
Oh, my God! Is that Richard?
Okay, please laugh for Mommy.|Please?
Please laugh for Mommy.
Not funny, huh?
Well, so is it...
...only offensive novelty rap?
Or maybe just, you know, rap in general.|Because Mommy can rap.
I can't rap.
All right, sweetheart. This is|only because I love you so much.
And I know that you're|not gonna tell anybody.
Emma, you're laughing! You are!
You really do like big butts, don't you?
You beautiful little weirdo.
You missed it! She was laughing!
It was amazing.
It was amazing. It was the most|beautiful, beautiful sound.
I know, isn't it?|What'd you do to get her to laugh?
You know, I just...|A couple of things I tried. Different...
Just sang a little|"The ltsy-Bitsy Spider."
You sang "Baby Got Back," didn't you?
Nothing else worked!|That girl is all about the ass!
And then it goes back to the chorus.
Resolve.|And that's the end of the song.
I realize you hadn't asked|to hear it...
...but no one had spoken|in 17 minutes.
Phoebe writes lots of songs. What was|that one you sang the other night?
"Pervert Parade"?
- "Ode to a Pubic Hair"?|- Stop.
Oh, God. Is that veal?
Mom, I thought I told you,|Phoebe's a vegetarian.
No, that's okay. That's okay.|I mean, I am a vegetarian...
...except for veal.|Yeah. No. Veal I love.
- Phoebe, you don't have to eat that.|- Any baby animals. Kittens, fish babies.
But, you know, especially veal.
You know, and this nice vein of fat|running through it.
Yummy.
So...
...what do you think?
So you stole that tape|from Richard's apartment?
Listen to the judgment|from the porn star!
That tape was never meant|to be seen by...
Joey, I would feel more comfortable|if this conversation were in private.
Monica, look, I don't think you and I|have any secrets anymore.
Not ready to joke about it yet?|See you later.
Why in the world would you take|this tape? And why would you watch it?
Because that's who I am. Okay?
I'm sure a man like Richard could see|a tape like that and not be bothered.
It'd just be another saucy anecdote...
...for him to share at his men's club|over brandy and mustaches.
Is all of this about you not being able|to grow a mustache?
This is about you and Richard.|He's clearly not over you.
He keeps a tape so he can|look at it whenever he wants.
Isn't that sad?|Can't you see how pathetic that is?
Don't be jealous.|You should feel bad for him.
Yeah, well, poor Richard, he...
I can grow a mustache.
This is not our problem. We have|each other. That's all that matters.
But I just keep picturing you rolling|around with him, with your...
...cowboy boots in the air.
Cowboy boots? I've never worn|cowboy boots in my whole life.
Good, good. Play more|because I wanna see how it ends.
- That's not me!|- What?
That's not you! Life is good again!
Ride 'em, cowgirl!
That bastard taped over me!
Is that a problem?
It's just so insulting.|Spring for a new blank tape, doctor!
I can't imagine what he sees in her.
She actually makes me miss|that pill-popping ex-wife of his.
Hello, dear.
- What's going on?|- We were just chitchatting.
- How's your friend?|- A little better.
Do you know who's moving back into|town? Tom and Sue's daughter, Jen.
You remember her, Michael.|She's lovely, well-behaved and single.
- I'm not interested.|- Please, darling, let's be honest.
You can have all the sailor fun|you want with that one.
- But let's be real.|- All right, stop.
All Phoebe has done is try and get you|to like her. Maybe it's not clear...
...but she did her best.
- She's a little different than you are.|- Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth.
So what? If I can get past that,|it shouldn't bother you.
You don't have to like her.|Just accept the fact that I do.
If you can't even be civil|to the woman I love...
- The woman you what?|- Yeah, the woman you what?
The woman I love.
I love you.
Something I shouldn't say for|the first time, in front of my parents...
...and Tom and Sue.
Who are, by the way, the most sinfully|boring people I've ever met in my life.
- I love you too.|- You do?
How great is this?
Wanna get out of here?
- Mom, Dad. Thanks for dinner.|- I had a great time.
It was really top-drawer.|And here's something rich.
Thirteen bathrooms in this place,|I threw up in the coat closet.
Ta-ta!
One more time from the top!
Rachel, please!|That is so inappropriate!
[ENGLISH]
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5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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