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Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns

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BENDER SINGS: Going through the car wash
Come on y'all and sing it with me Car wash
Car wash, yeah
My Three Suns
I'm Elzar, welcome to the show.
You don 't have to drive to Neptune for great Neptunian food.
We'll kick it up a notch as I show you how to fricassee...
...a mouthwatering Neptunian slug.
While you grease the pan and preheat your oven to 3500 degrees...
...separate the yolk from your enhanced eggplant...
...and give it a blast from your spice weasel. Bam!
FRY: Hey, what you watching?
-Nothing. -Is that a cooking show?
No, of course not.
It was porno. Yeah, that's it!
I didn't know you liked cooking. That's so cute.
It's true. I've been hiding it for so long.
-It's okay. I like cooking too. -Pansy.
Your most important ingredient is this baby...
... the Neptunian slug.
You can get it in a can. But to do things right...
... you gotta strangle yourself a fresh one.
This is why you always want to use cast-iron cookware.
It has come to my attention ...
. . .that we're paying you to loaf on the couch.
You call that a couch? I demand a pillow!
If you want to continue to earn a salary ...
... you gotta do more than watch cooking shows all day.
-You're gonna be the ship's cook? -We're gonna kick it up a notch. Bam!
I know you like cooking shows, but you are a robot without a sense of taste.
I wouldn't talk about taste, wearing a lime-green tank top.
-This is Little Neptune? -Yep.
This is the place to get exotic, gourmet ingredients.
Among other things.
Come on, man, don't hold out on me like this.
You want to buy organ?
Fresh. Ready for transplant.
What's this?
X-ray eye. See through anything.
Wait. This says "Z RAY. "
Z is better. It is two more than X.
That would be an advantage. Do you take cash?
Be more careful. You're not in the 20th century.
-You don't know how things work. -I'm not a kid.
I grew up in this city. These are my people.
-What up? -Word.
You guys sell every meat except human.
You want human?
What's this spice for?
Swamp root, makes you irresistible to the opposite sex.
That's ridiculous. I'll take two pounds.
I'm looking for fresh slug.
-Yellow or purple? -Whatever!
Purple causes diarrhea.
Either one is fine.
Have you seen Fry?
I do have trouble breathing underwater sometimes. I'll take the gills.
Yes, gills.
You don't need lungs anymore.
Can't imagine why I would.
I take lungs now. Gills come next week.
Let's do it!
You may feel small pain.
Thank you.
What were you doing? I said to stay away from them.
Did you ever stop to think I might be happier with gills?
-Good news. -I don't like the sound of that!
You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.
A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.
Thank you and good night!
Are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Of course. It's just a name.
Like the Death Zone, or the Zone of No Return.
All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror.
-Professor-- -Off you go. Pleasant trip.
-Bender, how's dinner coming? -Almost ready.
Ah! Now for a dash of salt.
This is Bender's first meal. He's a bit sensitive.
Let's be supportive.
-All right! FRY: Okay!
Oh, dear God!
That's the saltiest thing I ever tasted.
I once ate a bowl of salt.
Is this salt water?
It's salt with water in it.
My vision's fading. I'm dying.
There was nothing wrong with it.
The salt level was 1 0o/o less than a lethal dose.
I shouldn't have had seconds.
Here's the package to deliver.
For once in your life, be careful.
This is my first visit to the Galaxy of Terror. I want it to be nice.
-Ow! -Don't touch anything.
Go to the palace and come right back.
I was delivering things before you were born.
I think I know what I am doing.
Stupid slug. I've never been so thirsty.
Come on, go down already.
Hello. Anybody home?
The royal bottle is empty.
You drank our emperor.
No! It wasn't me!
You drank our emperor. You assassinated him.
He looked so cool and refreshing.
I am sure he was.
But now he's gone and your fate is sealed.
All hail the new emperor.
ALL: Hail! Hail! Hail!
After I specifically asked you not to touch anything. . .
. . .you drank strange blue liquid? It could've been poisonous.
Chances were equally good it was an emperor.
I am Merg, the high priest. If I might interject?
-You might. -I humbly advise. . .
. . .you choose a prime minister.
I suggest Gorgak, the previous appointee.
I will be a forceful administrator.
I've thought of becoming a prime minister.
-I gotta go with Bender. -In your face, Gorgak.
That's it. As your captain, I order you back to the ship.
Gee, I better check with my prime minister.
Stay the course, pal.
A package came for you.
Hey, thanks.
This got here just in time.
This is your harem.
You may choose any of these maidens to be your consort.
How about that one?
I didn't know you were into that sort of thing.
On second thought, I'll take that one.
I'm not here to pass judgment.
Does anyone else think it's odd that a 25-year-old delivery boy. . .
. . .could kill the emperor and be rewarded, not punished?
Don't beat around the bush. We know who you mean.
Me, right?
Don't worry. These people seem really mild-mannered.
They are mild. You're soaking in one right now.
You touched me in ways I've never been touched before.
Ah! There you are.
Time to prepare for tomorrow's coronation.
A fancy-dress gala! I'll wear my formal shell.
He'll be enthroned with the setting of the three suns. . .
. . .when we enter our nocturnal phase.
Will there be a lot of speeches?
One. The absolutely flawless recitation. . .
. . .from memory of the royal oath, by you.
Will there be cake?
There you go.
Get ready to laugh till your sides leak. . .
. . .with our planet's foremost political satirist. . .
. . .Flof.
What's up with people from under the orange sun?
They're all:
But us guys from under the red sun, we're like:
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Right? Am I right?
Yeah, he is right!
I have to talk to you. You're in danger.
LEELA: You see Emperor Plon here?
He met his end when drunk by Emperor Strug.
And before he could even wipe his mouth. . .
. . .Strug was drunk by Shwab.
-So? -Look!
Do you know what the average length of their reigns was?
-Eighty thousand years? -No, one week.
I knew you wouldn't ask unless it was really high or low.
Every emperor ascended to power by assassinating the previous one.
And guess who's next?
My assassin will get his.
You're in tremendous danger!
Half of them were drunk at their coronation.
I plan on having a few brewskis myself.
No, they were assassinated.
You'll be killed if you fail to recite the oath.
-I'll thumb through that later. -That's so reckless.
-Don't you ever think ahead? -If I did, I wouldn't be emperor.
I wouldn't be here in 3000.
Like the story of the grasshopper and octopus.
All year the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter. . .
. . .while the octopus watched TV.
FRY: The winter came and the grasshopper died.
The octopus ate his acorns and got a race car.
Is any of this getting through to you?
Oh, I give up!
This time I won't be able to save you.
I told you 1 00 times to stop treating me like a baby.
Go gather your nuts, you nagging grasshopper.
That's it! I'll never help you again!
If anyone except you needs me, I'll be in the ship.
It's not like anyone's gonna drink me.
Quit it!
People of Trisol, it is my honor to present your new emperor.
What up?
-Stick to the oath. -Right.
I, Fry, who drank Bont the Viscous. . .
. . .who drank Ungo the Moist. . .
. . .who guzzled Zorn the Stagnant. . .
. . .who slurped Hudge the Dewy. . .
. . .who had a soup of Throm the Chunky. . .
. . .do solemnly swear to rule with honor and. . .
. . .insanity. Integrity.
Congratulations, Your Highness.
I now present you with your royal unisex robe.
Long live Fry the Solid.
The suns are setting. I can finally switch to hard liquor.
Check out the glowing freaks.
It's beautiful. Hey, what's that?
The emperor Bont! He's still alive.
Of course I'm alive. Cut this creep open and drain me out.
My tummy hurts.
They're running up the stairs!
Shut up, you!
MERG: Let us in! Fry must die so that Bont may live.
What'll I do?
We gotta get the emperor out before they kill you.
I'll spin you in a high-speed centrifuge. . .
. . .separating out His Highness.
-Won't that crush my bones? -The bones.
I always forget about the bones.
Sweat him out.
I refuse to be dripped out through somebody's armpit.
I can vomit or urinate. How's that?
My favorite so far is the bone-crushing.
-What about crying? -That's a great idea!
That or the bone one.
Keep it up, men. The veneer is starting to peel.
GORGAK: Oh, dear.
I want to cry, but I'm just too macho.
I'll make you cry, buddy.
You're a pimple on society's ass! You'll never amount to anything!
I was emperor of a planet.
True. Here's a disturbing reminder:
Everyone you knew or loved in the 20th century is dead.
These things happen.
Grab a Kleenex for this one:
There is no God, and your human ideals are laughable!
Phew! That's a load off my mind.
Man, I guess it's harder than I thought to make someone cry.
-You did your best. -Up yours, bimbo.
We're in hot butter. We should call Leela for help.
Cram it, lobster!
That is a good idea. I'll call her.
She's still mad that I told her never to help me.
Leela is not the type to hold a grudge.
OPERATOR: Collect call from: BENDER: I won 't give my name to you.
I'll accept.
Fry needs help.
We don't like each other.
-I like you. -You do?
Are you gonna help?
I don 't know why I should.
Wait, wait. What is it you like best about me?
-Is she coming? -I'm not sure.
But I do know she likes my in-your-face attitude.
What the hell is that?
It's the Juice-A-Matic 4000.
It'll strain my juices from you and filter pulp:
Your shredded remains.
Why didn't I think of that?
This is the saddest day of my life. And I still can't cry!
Wait. Here comes Leela!
They have her totally outnumbered!
She's risking her life for me after the way I treated her?
I don't deserve this. I feel terrible.
You do?
-Is she all right? -I don't know.
Perhaps I'll look out this window.
Dear God! They're swarming all over.
What are you talking about? She's--
They are strapping her to the juicer.
They're putting some ice cubes in that glass under it.
This can't be happening.
It can. And for all you know, it is.
I'm sorry, Fry. She's dead.
All she ever wanted to do was help me.
And I was too proud and stupid to accept it.
I wish I had died instead of her.
LEELA: What are you talking about?
-You're alive! -Of course I am.
I said you were dead so he'd cry out the emperor.
You wrecked it by surviving.
We only got two drops.
What the--?
It's only a matter of time.
I'll handle this.
I think I can get us out of this if you're willing to let me help.
Thanks, Leela.
I'll take all the help you'll give.
I know you want what's best for me.
What's that for?
Come on!
-That hurt. -I know.
Amy, get the bottle.
-Now I understand. -Come on, everybody help Fry.
Thanks, everybody. I love you all.
You guys are true--
Cut it out, Bender. That's a tender area.
-How we doing, Amy? -We're 1 /1 0 of the way there.
Okay, it's your turn.
Wait a minute. Who are you?
I'm the emperor. Thanks for crying me out.
You're welcome.
FRY: Oh! Ooh! Aw! Ow!
BENDER: Save some for me.
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Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2