Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
FARNSWORTH:
Good news, everyone.
Tomorrow, you'll make a delivery
to Ebola Nine, the virus planet.
-Why can't they go today?
-Tonight's special.
I want you all to be alive.
It's the Academy of Inventors
annual symposium.
-Wow! I love symposia!
-The scientific event of the season.
Every member presents an invention.
The best one wins the Academy prize.
-Sounds boring.
-Oh, my, yes. But not this year. . .
. . .because my latest invention
is unbeatable.
Behold, the Death Clock.
Jam your finger in the hole.
This readout. . .
. . .tells you how long
you have to live.
-Does it really work?
-Sometimes it's off by seconds. . .
-. . .what with free will and all.
-Cool. How long do I have to live?
Dibs on his CD player!
A Big Piece of Garbage
FARNSWORTH:
Oh, my, yes.
-Who's the nerd?
-That's me at the first symposium.
I'm the Academy's
oldest living member.
-These youngsters look up to me.
-Well, well, well.
Look who's showing his wrinkled face.
-Just leave me alone, Wernstrom.
-You're over the hill, Farnsworth.
Leave science to the 1 20-year-olds.
You think you know everything.
I invented things when you
were barely turning senile.
Go home before you
embarrass yourself, old man.
Now excuse me. I'm taking
a nap before the ceremonies.
Who's that jerk?
He was my most promising student
1 00 years ago, at Mars University.
But then, after one
fateful pop quiz. . . .
A-minus? No one gives
Ogden Wernstrom an A-minus!
I'm sorry, but penmanship counts.
I swear I'll have my revenge
if it takes me 1 00 years.
And here it is, slightly over
99 years later and still no revenge.
I'm essentially in the clear.
I've been perusing your
fortified wine list. . .
. . .and I've selected
the '71 Hobo's Delight. . .
. . .the '57 Chateau Par-Tay,
and the '66 Thunder Chevitz.
Exquisite choices, sir.
And mix them all together
in a big jug.
Welcome to this year's symposium.
I'm your host, Ron Popeil. . .
. . .inventor of Mr. Microphone,
the Spray-on Toupee. . .
. . .and the technology
to keep heads alive in jars.
Wait, there's more.
We've got many inventors tonight. . .
. . .starting with that up-and-coming
young star, Ogden Wernstrom.
-Boo!
-More wine!
Distinguished members of the Academy,
I present the Reverse Scuba Suit.
Observe.
Fetch!
Now, sit.
I said sit! Bad fish!
[APPLAUSE]
Don't worry. It's no competition
for your Death Clock.
What will you be presenting, grandpa?
It'll put you young whippersnappers
in your place.
I hope it's not as lame as
last year's Death Clock.
-Last year?
-That's right.
Oh, my.
-Did it put you youngsters in place?
-Hardly.
We laughed until our teeth fell out.
Come along, Cinnamon.
I have to invent something new
in the next 1 0 minutes.
Perhaps some sort of Death Clock!
Uh, professor?
[PROPELLER ENGINES WHIRLING]
-Very nice.
-Amazing!
Our last presentation comes from
our oldest member, Hubert Farnsworth.
Professor?
Just a second. Just a second.
Pencils down, prune-face.
Here I am. Now, hello there.
We all know telescopes
allow us to see distant objects. . .
. . .but what if we want to smell
those objects? Well, now we can.
Thanks to my new invention. . .
. . .the Smell-O-Scope.
The odor travels past this coffee
stain here. Around the olive pit. . .
. . .and into this cigar burn.
And this appears to be a. . .
. . .doodle of myself as a cowboy.
[CROWD LAUGHS]
But the Smell-O-Scope is brilliant!
Think of the astronomical odors
you'll smell, thanks to me!
[CROWD LAUGHS]
Oh, my.
[CROWD LAUGHS]
I've waited 1 00 years for this.
I give your invention
the worst grade imaginable:
An A-minus-minus!
[CROWD LAUGHS]
Now for the presentation of the award.
I'm practically giving this away to. . .
. . .Dr. Wernstrom,
for his fish thingy.
[FARNSWORTH SNIFFS]
Perhaps 1 49 is just too old
to be a scientist.
-Yep.
-No, professor! Don't give up!
There were many times in my century
when I never gave up.
Never.
Are you even listening to me?
Oh, I give up.
By God, you're right!
I'm going to build that Smell-O-Scope!
FARNSWORTH:
Eureka!
FRY:
Did you build it?
No, I remembered that I
built one last year!
Go ahead, try it.
You'll find that every heavenly
body has its own scent.
Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.
[FRY SNIFFS]
-Smells like strawberries.
-Exactly.
And now, Saturn.
Pine needles. Man, this is great!
As long as you don't make me
smell Uranus.
-I don't get it.
-I'm sorry, Fry.
Astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to
end that stupid joke once and for all.
-What's it called now?
-Urectum.
Here, let me locate it for you.
No, I think I'll just
smell around over here.
[FRY SNIFFS]
[FRY GAGS]
What is it?
Oh, jeez! Oh, man!
Remarkable! A stench so foul
it's right off the funkometer!
Fry may have discovered the smelliest
object in the known universe!
Oh! Name it after me!
I think it's moving.
Perhaps the computer
can calculate its trajectory.
My God! It's headed straight for us!
With enough force to reduce
this city to a stinky crater!
We have less than 72 hours.
Well, let's get looting.
[BENDER WHISTLES]
This thing will destroy
the whole city?
What the heck is it?
Just as I thought!
The answer lies in this movie
I found on the Internet.
NARRATOR:
New York City. The year 2000.
The most wasteful society
in history...
... was running out of places to bury
its never-ending output of garbage.
The landfills were full.
New Jersey was full.
Under cover of darkness, the city
put its garbage out to sea...
...on the world's largest barge.
[MAN WHISTLES]
The repulsive barge circled
the oceans for 50 years...
...but no country would accept it.
Not even that really filthy one.
You know the one I mean.
Finally, in 2052, the city used its
mob connections to obtain a rocket...
...and launch the garbage
into outer space.
Some experts claim the ball
may return to Earth.
But their concerns were dismissed
as "depressing. "
You got that off the Internet? In my
day it was only used to download porn.
Actually, that's still true.
Now that the garbage
is in space...
...perhaps you can help me
with my sexual inhibitions.
With gusto.
Aw!
That's it. Due to the
short-sightedness of Old New York. . .
. . .New New York will be
destroyed by a ball of garbage.
What the hell were you people
thinking then?
-How could you throw your garbage out?
-Give me a break.
-What do you do with it?
-We recycle.
-Robots are made from old beer cans.
-And this can's made from old robots.
That sandwich is made
of discarded sandwiches.
-Nothing just gets thrown away.
-The future is disgusting.
Typical 20th-century attitude.
You've no right to criticize
my century.
We invented the light bulb, steamboat
and cotton gin.
-Those are from the 1 9th century.
-They probably just copied us.
Please! There's no time for this now!
This is an emergency!
We must warn the mayor!
Garbage ball, huh?
That sounds serious.
Very serious, Mayor Poopenmeyer.
I hope this isn't a fraud like
global warming or second-hand smoke.
Send in my science adviser.
-Wernstrom!
-Well, well, well.
Come to present your latest napkin?
I'm here because a giant trash ball
is heading straight for us.
Smell for yourself.
Hey! Holy jeez!
That smell could be anything. . .
. . .a faulty stench coil,
cheese on the lens, who knows?
We just got this transmission
from Neptune!
RECORDED VOICE:
Giant garbage ball...
...passed close by.
Horrible stench!
[RECORDED VOICE GAGS]
The transmission ends there, sir.
[RECORDED VOICE GAGS]
No, I guess it keeps going.
[RECORDED VOICE GAGS AND STOPS]
-There we go.
-My God!
The senile old man is right!
-Do you mean him or me?
-Him!
Next, New New York in crisis.
Morbo?
Thanks, human female.
Puny earthlings were shocked
to learn that garbage...
... will destroy their pathetic city.
-I'm glad we live here in Los Angeles.
-Morbo agrees.
[NEWSCASTERS LAUGH]
-Can't we shoot a missile at it?
-The supercomputer's simulation. . .
. . .shows that the ball is too gooey.
Missiles would go through it.
But suppose we sent a crew to plant
an explosive on the fault line. . .
. . .between this mass of coffee grounds
and this deposit of AOL floppy disks?
In theory, it could work.
But you'll never find a crew willing
to go on such a suicidal mission.
Oh, crap!
FARNSWORTH: You only have one chance
to destroy the ball.
After that, it'll be so close
that blowing it up. . .
. . .would cause garbage to rain
on the entire planet. . .
-. . .killing billions.
-Boo-hoo.
Here's the bomb I've prepared.
Once activated, you have
25 minutes to get away.
-That's all--?
-Now, now.
We'll discuss your objections
when and if you return.
Odor at magnitude eight.
[CREW GAGS]
Magnitude 1 2.
Magnitude 31 !
We're breaking up!
Turn on the anti-smell device!
[DEVICE HISSES]
FRY:
Sporty.
-Wow!
LEELA: Look at all this filth.
FRY:
It's not filth.
It's a monument to 20th-century
achievements.
Look! A real Beanie Baby!
A Mr. Spock collector's plate!
[PLATE BREAKS]
Some Bart Simpson dolls!
BART DOLL: Eat my shorts.
-Okay!
Mmm, shorts!
This was garbage when it was new.
Let's blow it up already.
This junk isn't garbage!
I can dig anywhere. . .
. . .and find something great.
[FRY CHOKES]
All right, let's get to work.
Let's see.
If that's Hypodermic Ridge,
then the bomb goes right here.
Get ready. We've got 25 minutes.
"Fifteen minutes. "
"Five minutes. Six-H minutes"?
There's your problem. The professor
put the counter on upside down.
That idiot! It wasn't set for
25 minutes, it was set for 52 seconds.
[FRY SCREAMS]
-We're gonna die! Right?
-Right.
It's gonna blow!
Hey! You'll put somebody's eye out!
Okay, keep your space pants on.
I'll take care of this.
[EVERYONE SIGHS]
-We're saved.
-Yeah, but the ball's unstoppable now.
New New York is done for.
[SCRATCHING SOUND]
All in all, this is one day
Mittens the Kitten won 't soon forget.
Kittens give Morbo gas.
In lighter news, the city of
New New York is doomed.
Blame rests with human
Hubert Farnsworth...
...and his tiny inferior brain.
Oh! How could I have put
that timer on upside down?
I swear I followed
the manual precisely.
I'm a dried-up husk of a scientist.
This is all my fault.
No, it's my fault too.
I'm sure I threw out
more than my share of trash.
And when my toilet broke, I just
went straight in the garbage can.
Leela's right. The people of the
20th century were idiotic slobs.
-Especially me.
-Enough! You failed miserably.
Time to put a real scientist
in charge.
-Wernstrom!
-The very same.
-Wernstrom, can you save my city?
-Yes, but it'll cost you.
-First, I need tenure.
-Done.
-A research grant.
-You got it.
Lab access and five grad students,
at least three Chinese.
Done. What's your plan?
What plan? I'm set for life.
Au revoir, suckers.
-That rat! Do something!
-I would, but he's got tenure.
[PEOPLE GAG]
It's time to take action.
Stephanie, cancel the maid.
Have her come tomorrow.
Well, I'm out of ideas.
Anyone?
Wait!
If we could build an object of the
same size, density and consistency. . .
. . .it might knock the ball away
without smashing it to bits.
Where can we find a substance the
same density and consistency?
Alas, I don't know.
What about garbage?
Good Lord! A second ball of garbage!
That just might work!
You can't just find garbage
in the streets.
City's been garbage-free
for 500 years!
-Then it's time to make some more.
-Make garbage?
-But how?
-Stand back and watch the master.
This Slurm can?
Now it's garbage.
These papers?
Garbage.
This picture of your wife?
Pure garbage. Now you try it.
By God, I think the boy's
got something!
Come on, the fate of the city
is at stake!
Good.
Don't finish that. Throw it away.
Drink that beer and drop the bottle.
Very nice.
Get that robot some more beer!
Trashing this room's a start.
Let's get Fry's message to the people!
People of New New York,
take a lesson from the 20th century.
Stop this recycling and throw
your garbage on the floor.
Go on, chuck it anywhere like I did.
Your city is counting on you.
If my calculations are correct,
this ball will knock the other. . .
. . .directly into the sun!
If mine are correct,
we're all going to die horribly!
Places, everyone! Prepare for launch!
Five, four, three, two. . .
. . .three, four, five, six. . . .
Just fire the damn thing.
FRY:
Oops.
[HEART BEATING FAST]
[HEART BEATS ONCE]
[FAST DRUM BEAT]
[SNIFFS]
-Burning garbage!
-It worked!
And so, on behalf of the entire city,
I thank you, Professor Farnsworth.
I present you with the Academy prize,
which we confiscated. . .
. . .from Wernstrom after
we realized he was a jackass.
In your face, Wernstrom!
I'll get you, Farnsworth, even
if it takes another 1 00 years!
And Fry, we owe you
a tremendous debt as well.
Without your garbage-making skills. . .
. . .we'd all be buried under
20th-century garbage.
Should we be celebrating?
What if it returns to Earth
like the first one?
Who cares? That would take centuries.
Exactly. It's none of our concern.
That's the 20th-century spirit!
[CROWD CHEERS] |
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4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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