Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
A Taste of Freedom
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
There's no denying it.
The future's crazy.
Oh, well, don't want to stand out.
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
There's nothing crazy about it.
It's just Freedom Day!
[SQUAWKS]
[WHIMPERING]
So, what is Freedom Day?
Sounds like a feminine hygiene product.
No, it's a fabulous, crab-ulous day!
If you want to do something, you do it,
and just spleck with the consequences.
[BIRD SQUAWKS]
You know, like how I live every day.
Happy Freedom Day!
Oh, I think my wrist is broken.
Of course, it wouldn't be Freedom Day
without the traditional Freedom Tub!
Ooh.
Mm. That'll feel nice
on my shattered bones.
[GASPS]
Wow, nude hot-tubbing?
That's all I need to hear
about Freedom Day.
Then consider
the following lecture a bonus.
On Earth, freedom is a given. But on
my planet, we have to suffer for it.
Sure, you can be a comedian
instead of a doctor. . .
. . .if you want your parents
to roll over in their graves!
Sure, you can vote for Skanadel,
if you want there should be a recession!
Sure, you can go to medical school. . .
. . .if you've given up on your dream
of being a comedian!
That's why I love Earth.
You can do what you want,
and no one makes you feel guilty. . .
. . .because no one cares.
-We're not listening!
-That's what I'm talking about!
[CHEERING]
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
Excuse me, coming through. Freedom
train arriving on track one. Ooh, ooh!
-Ow! You broke my foot!
-Freedom.
What's this next float, Linda?
Representing our men, women
and children in uniform. . .
. . .it's Earth's greatest space hero,
Zapp Brannigan.
Happy Freedom Day, ladies!
Come on, let loose
and show me something.
Anything.
Seriously, I'd take an armpit.
Oh, yeah, thank you, Linda!
You're welcome!
Okay, Morbo, now it's your turn.
If that is your Freedom Day wish. . . .
[SCREAMS]
Thank you, secretary of transportation.
My fellow Earthicans, we enjoy
so much freedom, it's almost sickening.
We're free to choose which hand
our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in.
If we don't want to pay our taxes. . .
. . .why, we're free to spend
a weekend with the Pain Monster.
See you April 1 5, folks!
Cue the fireworks guy!
[GASPING]
Incidentally, tonight's Freedom Day
celebration is brought to you by:
Shankman's Rubbing Compound.
When something needs rubbing,
think Shankman.
Yay, Shankman!
It costs more, but it's worth it.
Our planet has been through
so much this past year.
Wars, droughts, impeachments.
But we've never lost our sense
of what's truly important:
The great taste of Charleston Chew.
And now, let us salute
that beloved symbol of freedom. . .
. . .our flag, Ol' Freebie.
I'm swelling with patriotic mucus.
In our darkest hour, we can stand erect
with proud, up-thrust bosoms.
Anyone who laughs is a Communist.
Knowing that,
with a shifty glance skyward. . .
. . .we will see by the rocket's red glare,
that our flag is still there.
It's gone!
[BURPS]
[GASPING]
Yes, fellow patriots! I ate your flag!
And I did it with pride.
For to express oneself by doing a thing,
is the very essence of Freedom Day!
Bless this planet
and all its wonderful people!
Kill him! Kill the traitor!
[SQUEALS]
[ZOIDBERG MIMICKING
THE THREE STOOGES]
Hey! It's the guy
that desecrated our flag!
NIXON:
Stop that red menace!
I'm all scuttled out! What?
My planet's embassy?
They're paid to not kill me!
Alley-oop!
I thought I understood this world.
I thought I was fitting in.
But I guess I don't belong here any more
than I do on our crappy home planet.
-Sorry.
-What sorry?
Our planet stinks. We all know it.
Enough with the persecution, I'm saying.
Zoidberg, as ambassador, I promise you
the full support of our government.
Poor boy. You want maybe
a nice mug cocoa?
Ambassador Mervin,
you and your staff are so kind.
I'm truly humbled.
What, no marshmallows?
Well, let's storm the place!
Without my prior knowledge.
BENDER: Coming through!
Freedom Train! Step aside.
You, too, fatso. Freedom!
Cool your jowls, Nixon.
You may not like it that
Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag.
You may even find the image of it
festering in his bowels offensive.
But the right to freedom of expression
is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution.
Argh-ooh. Maybe so.
But I know a place where
the Constitution doesn't mean squat!
The Supreme Court hereby accepts
the case of Earth v. Zoidberg.
Sock it to him!
Two, four, six, eight.
Eating the flag is bad!
Now, your noose knot
has exactly seven twists.
You can eat my dog
You can eat my truck
But you eat my flag
And you're out of luck
She's waving proud around the world
From Dallas to Fort Worth
Let me say it again
Don 't mess with Earth
-They sure hate Dr. Zoidberg.
-Posers!
I was hating Zoidberg before it was cool.
Where are we gonna find
a lawyer to take his case?
I'll ask the head of the ACLU.
Once he's done singing.
Don 't mess with Earth
Kill Zoidberg! Good night!
MAN:
Howdy, there.
I'm a lawyer, and I'd like
to help your friend out of this pickle.
-Who are you, old man?
-Name's Old Man Waterfall. . .
. . .but most folks just call me Old Man.
I'll never remember that.
I'm a veteran of three dozen wars.
Name a body part and a planet,
and I've taken a bullet in it, on it.
All to keep our flag flying free.
And you want to defend Zoidberg?
Are you familiar with the old robot
saying, "Does not compute"?
Son, to me a robot's just a garbage can
with sparks coming out it.
The sparks keep me warm.
I don't condone
what Dr. Zoidberg did. . .
. . .but I'll fight tooth and nail
for his freedom to do it.
Or I would, if I hadn't lost my teeth and
nails on Mars and Saturn, respectively.
Wait, you're a lawyer? You're hired!
You okay there
in the embassy, Zoidberg?
No! There's no cocoa marshmallows!
And every night, the rats eat
a little more of my foot.
Oyez, oyez, oyez!
All rise for the Honorable Chief Justice
Myrtle Foo and the associate justices!
Counsel, you may address the court
on behalf of Earth, if ready.
I was hatched ready.
Honorable judge heads,
yonder crawdad done ate up our flag.
I was doing freedom of speech,
Earth's most sacred right.
Your Honor, freedom of speech applies
to what comes out of a mouth. . .
. . .not what goes in.
-Can counsel cite precedent?
-Yes, darling, I can.
In State of Alabama
v. Giant Space lguana...
. . .chewing the corners
off the Constitution. . .
. . .was deemed nonprotected speech.
He shut you up, O'Connor.
FOO: Mr. Waterfall, you may present
arguments on behalf of Dr. Zoidberg.
Oh, God, I'm nervous.
Two of my three hearts
are having attacks.
Court's kind of fun
when it's not my ass on the line.
Nachos?
Oh, land-o-Goshen.
Your Honors, I'm not some slick big-city
lawyer like my opponent here.
But I am a veteran
who has fought for his planet.
-You see this hand of mine?
-Yes, I do.
No, you don't!
Because I lost my real hand planting the
flag when we took back Halley's comet.
Yet it was worth it.
So much do I love that flag.
I love it even more
than I love my seven wives.
That's right, I'm a polygamist.
Boo!
Yet I would gladly eat a flag myself. . .
. . .had I not used my intestine as a rope
to hoist a flag made of my own skin. . .
. . .if it would protect the freedoms
of the proud people who salute that flag.
Freedom such as polygamy.
-Boo!
-I rest my case.
Whoa, jeez.
The justices and I will now confer,
using high-speed telepathy.
By a vote of six to three. . .
. . .we find that flag-eating is not
protected by the Constitution.
[GASPING]
Six to three? I beat the spread!
The court orders
an immediate public apology.
Apology accepted.
Just don't let it happen again.
-She means you, you turkey of the sea.
-Me, apologize? Never!
I came to this planet
to learn the meaning of freedom!
But I say it's you
who should get a nice lesson.
So do your worst. . .
. . .because no punishment could be
bigger than denying me my freedom!
You are hereby sentenced to death.
Wait, let me finish.
Also, in a rare double-whammy decision,
the court finds polygamy constitutional.
Boo!
I can't wait to tell my husband!
Boo!
Remember, men, take him alive
so there's something left to kill.
[MEN GRUNTING]
Stay back!
This embassy is sovereign mud
of the mud planet Decapodian!
Invading these mud premises
is an act of war!
Yeah? Well, what are you gonna
do about it, shrimpy?
You wanna see, Mr. Bigshot?
Attack Earth!
Yes, I know it's a schlep. Just do it!
Aha! Now the rubber band's
on the other claw!
[SCREAMING]
Ready? Retreat!
[SCREAMING]
Deny my freedom, will you?
Well, we'll do to you what we did
to the Squash men of the Squash planet:
Squished them!
-Charleston Chew?
-You bet!
All right, Kif.
Let's show these freaks. . .
. . .what a bloated,
runaway military budget can do.
Bring me the codes
for our global-defense network.
Aye, aye, sir.
[GRUNTING]
FEMALE VOICE:
Commence lip identification scan.
No tongue.
We can't be too careful
with these codes.
Rumor has it a double agent
may be aboard this very ship.
I'm watching you.
-You, ensign, what's your name?
-Hugh Man, sir!
Hugh Man.
Now, that's a name I can trust.
Run down to the central battle
computer and enter these codes.
KIF: Sir, there's something
about that ensign that's--
You're damn right there is.
That young lad's gunning for your job.
And he just might get it.
The enemy approacheth.
Lieutenant, fire missile one and
recommend me for another medal.
Make it gaudy. I'm going clubbing later.
Ticktock.
Sir, all planetary defenses
have been disabled.
Perhaps the Decapodians acquired
our secret codes somehow.
Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame.
Steady, steady. . . .
Now!
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love
freedom, and then enslave all of Earth?
Your planet doesn't deserve freedom. . .
. . .until it learns what it is to
not have freedom. It's a lesson, I say!
Ow!
What the hell is this dirt pile
we're building?
None of your beeswax, slave.
You'll find out soon enough.
Just focus on globbing that mud.
Glob!
I'm no good at being a slave.
I'm thinking about graduate school
to become a barber.
This can't go on.
Today is the day we fight back!
-It's already 1 0:00.
-Oh, you're right.
Tomorrow is the day we fight back.
Yeah, well, good luck, sister.
All our modern technology is useless.
I know I am.
[SNORING]
Hey, wait.
I'm having one of those things.
-You know, a headache with pictures.
-An idea?
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.
Back in my day, we didn't have
your fancy all-digital weapons.
We still managed
to kill each other just fine.
The crossbow.
A pitiless, elegant killing machine.
The Bender of the 1 5th century!
Not big enough. We need something
that can take out an entire army.
Something you could commit
a war crime with--
Wow!
Ow.
Earth slaves,
behold the fruit of your labors:
The mobile oppression palace!
Neat!
I don't need to tell you
that occupation forces are expensive.
But with the mobile oppression palace. . .
. . .a few dignitaries can oppress
your entire planet for pennies a day!
Warships, dismissed!
Do your worst, you sea devils!
I'll make my stand with Ol' Freebie!
You can crush me,
but you can't crush my spirit!
Oh, my spirit!
[GROANING]
Great-grandpa, no!
Another victim of
the mano-centric male-ocracy.
Ambassador Mervin,
you killed my lawyer!
You're welcome.
He defended my freedom
when no one else would.
-He was a good and honorable man.
-I request a satanic funeral.
Boo!
Is it possible that all this slavery
and oppression. . .
-. . .is schmutzing up our freedom lesson?
-Take a pill, Zoidberg.
Begin again with the crushing!
You haven't won yet, Mervin!
You didn't expect us
to even go to a museum. . .
. . .much less steal
this ancient heat-seeking missile!
I don't even know you.
[WHIMPERING]
Oh, it's gonna make such a mess!
[SIGHING]
This is your secret plan?
Heat-seeking missiles are useless
against a mobile oppression palace.
All Decapodian technology
is cold-blooded, like us!
All eyes on Zoidberg!
Ew.
Hey, I need that to smoke!
Zoidberg, how could you?
I used to think you were cool.
Wait, people of Earth, listen!
Yes, I'm desecrating a flag, but
to preserve the freedom it represents.
[YELLS]
[MISSILE BEEPING]
Zoidberg, you set us free!
I feel like I could stand to hug you!
I can't, but you know
what I'm trying to say.
Zoidberg! Zoidberg! Zoidberg!
If only they appreciated freedom
this much on my home planet.
Wait a second. They do!
Because this is my home planet!
NIXON: And now,
to raise this beautiful new flag. . .
. . .a red lobster that won't ruin
your dinner, Dr. John Zoidberg!
You're a nice man, Nixon.
How's about you take a bite
of the flag for tomorrow's papers?
-Oh, I couldn't.
-No, no, go ahead. You've earned it.
Well, maybe just a taste.
Now, that's a grand old flag!
All right, Zoidberg!
I wonder what
the Shroud of Turin tastes like.
WOMAN:
All right!
Freedom! |
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5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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