Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Crimes of the Hot
Hurry up with the water.
I'm steaming inside my own shell, I am.
It's that hot, it is.
Man, it's hot. How hot is it?
It's so hot, I poured McDonald's
coffee in my lap to cool off.
[CHUCKLING]
Johnny Carson said it.
[PANTING]
No, Nibbler! Don't drink the pool water!
It's full of chlorine.
[GROANING]
[BURPING]
[COUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
Lightweights.
Oh, wait, chlorine.
[SIGHING]
Perhaps this movie will help
take our minds off the heat.
BENDER:
Focus!
ANNOUNCER: Global Warming
or: None Like It Hot!
[SOBBING]
You're probably wondering
why your ice cream went away.
Well, Suzie, the culprit isn't foreigners.
It's global warming.
-Gwobal wap-po?
-Yeah.
Meet Mr. Sunbeam. He comes
all the way from the sun to visit Earth.
Hello, Earth.
Just popping in to brighten your day.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la.
And now I'll be on my way.
Not so fast, sunbeam.
We're greenhouse gases.
You ain't going nowhere.
[SCREAMING]
Oh, God, it hurts!
ANNOUNCER: Pretty soon, Earth is
chock-full of sunbeams...
... their rotting corpses
heating our atmosphere.
[CHUCKLING]
How do we get rid
of the greenhouse gases?
Fortunately, our handsomest
politicians came up with a cheap. . .
. . .Iast-minute way
to combat global warming.
Ever since 2063,
we simply drop a giant ice cube. . .
. . .into the ocean every now and then.
Just like Daddy puts
in his drink every morning.
And then he gets mad.
Of course, since the greenhouse
gases are still building up. . .
. . .it takes more and more ice
each time.
Thus, solving the problem
once and for all.
-But--
-Once and for all!
Well, we just need one
of those big ice cubes.
Call the losers
who were supposed to deliver it.
[PHONE RINGS]
-Hello?
-President Nixon here.
I'm hiring you losers to deliver
the ice. And hurry up.
I'm sweating like J. Edgar Hoover
trying to squeeze into a new girdle.
You heard the good news, everyone.
Save the Earth, et cetera, et cetera. Bye.
-Wait. Where do we get the ice?
-The what?
Oh, Halley's comet, of course.
The only sufficient source of ice cubes
that don't have bugs in them.
Wow. Mining a comet.
That sounds fun.
Yes. There's no safer occupation
than mining.
Especially when you're perched
on a snowball. . .
. . .whipping through space
at a million miles an hour.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Safe.
Deploying ice drill.
Wow. That ice dispenser's so big
the ice crushes you.
-Yakov Smirnoff said it.
-No, he didn't.
Activating ice drill.
Oh, my God! It's out of ice!
Like some outer-space Motel 6.
Completely out of ice?
This could mean the end of the banana
daiquiri as we know it.
Also life.
With Halley's comet out of ice...
...Earth is experiencing the devastating
effects of intense global warming.
Morbo is pleased but sticky.
The scorching heat has melted
the polar icecaps...
...causing floods of biblical proportion.
They called me crazy
for building this ark.
You are crazy. You filled it
with same-sex animal couples.
Hey! There are parts of the Bible
I like and parts I don't like.
MORBO: Direct your pity now
to the African turtles...
...seen here migrating
to cooler homes in Holland.
That poor turtle.
-Bender, are you crying?
-No. Never.
Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads
peace amongst the Dutch tulips.
I'm sure those windmills
will keep them cool.
Windmills do not work that way!
Good night!
Well, everybody, I just saved a turtle.
What have you done with your lives?
You went all the way
to Holland already?
Bender, a turtle isn't yourself.
Why do you care about it?
Because I also care deeply
about things that remind me of myself.
Like poor little Shelly here.
What could you possibly have in common
with this walking soup mix?
For one thing, we both
have a tough outer shell.
But lead a rich, inner life.
And also. . .
. . .well, you know.
You're both alcoholic, whore-mongering,
chain-smoking gamblers?
No. It's just. . .
. . .neither of us can get up
when we get knocked on our back.
What? I've seen you get up
off your back tons of times.
-Those times I was slightly on my side.
-Interesting.
Maybe we should test this erectile
dysfunction of yours, Bender.
No, that's not necessary, really.
I think I hear my factory recalling me.
That's what I get for sharing
my vulnerability with you.
MAN OVER SPEAKER:
Calling all scientists.
There will be a worldwide conference
on global warming in Kyoto, Japan.
I've got a degree
in homeopathic medicine.
You've got a degree in baloney.
-Professor Farnsworth, you're a scientist.
-Forget it. I'm not going.
I have my reasons.
Shut up, all of you!
Strange.
You haven't acted this suspicious since I
found the "ape bones" in the basement.
My hip hurts. I'm in the middle
of cooking a turkey.
I have warranty cards to fill out.
I am not just making excuses.
All right, I'll go!
WOMAN: I can't believe it!
I love you!
It's Professor Hubert Farnsworth!
He's looking sharp in a standard
white lab coat and dark slacks.
His wristwatch is a Casio.
Thank you all for coming.
It is my pleasure to introduce the host of
the Kyoto Global Warming Convention.
The inventor of the environment
and first emperor of the moon, AI Gore.
I have ridden the mighty moon worm.
[CHEERING]
Good for him.
My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss
in my book, Earth in the Balance. . .
. . .and the much more popular
Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth. . .
. . .we need to defend our planet against
pollution, as well as dark wizards.
Sure, blame the wizards.
That's why I'm offering
a bag of moon sapphires. . .
. . .to the first scientist who can solve
this problem once and for all.
CROWD:
Ah. . . . Ooh. . . .
-Lovely, aren't they?
-Sapphires?
With those, I could open
the gate of Girash.
First up is Professor Ogden Wornstrum.
Wornstrum!
[CLEARS THROAT]
Ladies and gentlemen,
I have placed in orbit a giant mirror. . .
. . .that will reflect 40 percent of the
sun's rays, thus cooling Earth. Observe.
[SIGHING]
Problem solved.
[CHUCKLING]
[GASPING]
That's a little bright.
[SCREAMING]
All right. What else we got?
Professor, you're a professor.
You must have some ideas.
Absolutely not! I won't speak.
I've got nothing to hide.
-Our next speaker is Professor--
-I demand the floor!
-Yes, it's your turn to speak.
-Well, nuts to me. I'm taking the stage.
I know the source
of the greenhouse gases. . .
. . .but in my shame, I've kept it
secret for 75 long years.
Oh, it haunts my memory still.
-Professor, no! Don't do it!
-Don't do what?
Don't use this memory ray so I can
remember what happened back then?
It was October 1 7 at 1 :54 p.m.
and 1 4 birds were flying by the window.
I was working at Mom 's
Friendly Robot Company.
Back then, robots were slow-moving,
stiff and a little on the uptight side.
Oh, dear, might I favor master
with a tender kiss on the forehead?
Oh, I've failed again.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
FARNSWORTH: The company's owner
pressured me to create a sportier robot.
Stop!
It wasn 't easy. But by sacrificing
fuel efficiency, I succeeded.
-What was that?
-A flaming burp.
-Does it always do that?
-It's not always a burp.
We still have one problem, though.
This robot would never meet
emission standards.
Crap spackle!
We'll just call it a sport utility robot
and classify it as a light truck.
Well. . .
. . .I suppose the environment
can take one more for the team.
What a fool I was!
If only I had made the effort
to develop a cleaner-burning robot...
...but I was tired and in love.
Take me now, you stud.
[YAWNS]
Oh, this is all my fault!
That's awful, professor.
Especially the making-out part.
Yeah, I didn't need to hear that.
All modern robots descend from
my original smog-blasting designs. . .
. . .and that's the cause
of global warming today.
So the robots are to blame,
as I suspected.
We are left with only one possible
course of action, grim though it be.
I got a good feeling about this.
We must immediately and permanently. . .
. . .shut down, dismantle
and destroy all robots!
[GASPS]
-Wait! Surely there's a better--
-The conference is over.
I must go now
to help collect cans on Jupiter.
Peace out, y'all.
ALL: Destroy all robots!
Destroy all robots!
-Poor Bender.
-Be brave, my friend.
Come on. You've got to come out
of your chest sometime.
Would you do it for a Bender snack?
FRY: Ah-ha!
-Gotcha!
BENDER: Let me go!
I don't even want the stupid beer.
Yes! You tried to trick me
into coming out of my chest.
But who has the beer now?
[LAUGHING]
I've got mail.
It's a party, apparently.
Do you like to party?
To boogie down?
Well, I'm throwing an all-night beach
rager for my robot pals.
It all goes down this Saturday
on the isolated Galápagos lslands. . .
. . .where there will be no escape. . .
. . .from the fun.
All robots must attend!
Strange.
Why would Nixon, an awkward,
uncomfortable man, throw a party?
One of the most
social events imaginable?
It's a trap is why! They're going
to deactivate all the robots.
-I don't hear any gasping.
-We all figured that out.
-Oh. . . .
-Well, I'm off.
We can hide you. We'll pile fruit
on you and claim you're a bowl.
-No. I'm going to the party.
-I won't let you!
Fry, as you know, there are lots
of things I'm willing to kill for.
Jewels, vengeance,
Father O'Malley's weed whacker.
But at long last, I've found
something I'm willing to die for.
This mindless turtle.
Bender, this world
isn't good enough for you.
Not even close.
Goodbye, everybody.
Don't touch my stuff after I'm dead.
It's booby-trapped!
["GET DOWN TONIGHT" PLAYS]
[CHEERING]
Oh, yeah, baby!
Come on. Come on, baby.
Poor guy. Maybe you'd feel better
if I had a drink.
Crummy keg, it's completely tapped--
-Oh, you're a robot.
-Don't stop.
-Ew!
-Attention, happening robots.
Who's got what it takes
to party with Nixon?
[BURPING]
You fellas enjoy yourselves
for the next two hours. . .
. . .and be sure not to leave the island
for at least two hours.
I'm going out
to pick up some smokes.
Really good smokes.
Two hours.
[CHEERING]
Okay, headless body of Agnew,
let's blow this joint.
[GROWLING]
BIG ROBOT: Do you want to dance?
-No, I'm not really in the--
You know you want to.
[GRUNTING]
Per your orders, I modified my mirror. . .
. . .to fire a colossal electromagnetic
pulse at the Galápagos.
Every robot will be instantly
and painfully terminated.
Now, for your part of the bargain.
Very well. Agnew,
you belong to Wornstrum now.
[GROWLING]
I'll say goodbye now.
There ain't no turtles
where Daddy's going.
Don't tell anybody, but Nixon's
about to shut all the robots off and--
What?
[SCREAMS]
ROBOTS: We're gonna die!
We're going to the great beyond.
Nixon's not bringing the smokes.
Shut up and pay attention to me.
Bender.
Look, I love life and its pleasures
as much as anyone here.
Except perhaps you, Hedonism Bot.
But we need to be shut off!
Especially you, Hedonism Bot.
-I apologize for nothing.
-We pollute too much!
We're destroying the world
and killing the turtles!
-To hell with the turtles!
-No one insults the turtles!
Come on, you!
Let the games begin.
[CHUCKLING]
[GASPING]
Everyone listen!
Ah! Damn!
I've devised a way to save you and
stop global warming at the same time.
Granted, you're all blasting out
greenhouse gases.
You're one to talk.
But we can use those very gases
to save the planet.
If you all vent your exhausts
directly upward in one burst. . .
. . .it should thrust the Earth
further from the sun, thus cooling it.
[MUMBLING]
By my calculations, we'll need
the full force of every last robot.
So quickly, everyone point
your exhaust vents straight upward.
Now vent.
Vent like the wind!
[BURPING]
Harder! Harder!
Why isn't this working?
Some lazy or polite robot
is holding it in.
[GRUNTING]
Help! Help!
[WORNSTRUM LAUGHING]
A billion robot lives
are about to be extinguished.
Oh, the Jedis are going
to feel this one.
I'm sorry, buddy.
At least we'll die
on our backs, helpless.
What the hell are you doing?
Hey, are you trying
to make me look bad?
Ah-ha! I'm even greater
than I thought I was.
And now to fulfill my destiny!
Fire!
-What the--?
-We missed!
[GROWLING]
NIXON: Professor, for saving the Earth
and foiling me. . .
. . .I proudly, yet angrily, present you
with Earth's new highest honor:
The Polluting Medal of Pollution.
Thank you. I deserve this.
Hey, professor?
Now that the Earth's orbit. . .
. . .is further from the sun,
won't that make the year longer?
Why, yes.
One week longer to be exact.
In that case, I hereby declare it
Robot Party Week!
BENDER:
All right, baby!
["HOT HOT HOT" PLAYS]
[COUGHING] |
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3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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