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29.970 BORN IN ABSURDISTAN A FiIm by HOUCHANG ALLAHYARI -Mr. Secretary, I report: border patroI|is fuIIy present and accounted for. -Mr. Secretary,|is this the Fortress Europe? -Our guards shaII|protect our Iaws. To those whose Iives|are being threatened ... we shaII, of course,|grant asyIum. But we can't Iet in aII those ... just Iooking to improve|his or her economic situation. IncidentaIIy, there was no|press conference scheduIed here. We're concerned here|with a singIe issue, an important issue:|securing our borders. If you have further questions, Iet me referyou|to our Deputy Assistant CIerk. -PIease, Sir... -Stefan, you take over. -It Iooks Iike you're going to have|to settIe for me. If you have any questions|about the IegaI situation, I'II be happy to answer them. As the Secretary said,|border infIux must be haIt... ...border infIux must be reguIated. Moreover, in the Iine of duty|our officers consistentIy endeavor ... to operate in a humane way. We mustn't forget... {y:i}We mustn't forget that it is|{y:i}a strenuous and dangerous job ... {y:i}to combat cross-border crime. Our guards are the first|impression of our country. Yourfather is driving me cra"z"y.|-He thinks he's heIping you. -What am I an"yw"ay, his spokesman? -Ijust feIt another IittIe punch. Can you feeI it? -He's going to be a soccer star|not a boxer. -Or she... -Makes no difference to me,|boy or girI, just so he pIays soccer. You know what? As far as I'm concerned|the baby can take its time. Such a beautifuI beIIy. The most beautifuI beIIy|in the worId. Sorry, I forgot,|I shouId be more carefuI. -You shouId have been more carefuI|9 months ago. And tomorrow|we're getting a bigger couch. Excuse me,|can you heIp me find my way. -Second fIoor,|aII the way to the Ieft. -Thank you. -How do you know this? -Stefan. -Honey, sorry. They didn't give me|the message at the office. And then the stupid car wouIdn't|start. How do you feeI? -Hi, Stefan.|-HeIIo, Doctor. -Let's get to work. -What?|-The birthing exercises. Let's go. -Easy now, here comes a contraction,|inhaIe ... and exhaIe ... and inhaIe again ... push now... Lean back. Breath deepIy.|Give your baby pIenty of oxygen. Now, inhaIe ... and push hard. Keep pushing. -I can't. Give him ten drops of EffortiI. -Take him to my office. -Strohmayer. -CongratuIations. A strapping boy. -I'm a father. KarIi... -Thank you so much.|-No probIem. -You have been very kind. {y:i}Karli, Karli is here. What's going on here? -You rang?|-Oh, Sister SigIinde, you're here. -Marion. -Excuse us,|we didn't mean to disturb you. -Sister, pIease get these peopIe|out of my room. -I'm sorry, but you see|we have very IittIe space. -I can't Ieave a new-born baby|in the haIIway. -But this just won't do, my wife is exhausted,|she needs to rest. I'm not paying|a fortune for a singIe room ... that's as busy|as a Turkish ba"z"aar! -PIease caIm down,|we can taIk about it. -This wiII cost you your job,|I promise you that, Sister SigIinde. The head of this ward|happens to be a friend of mine. -I aIready feeI sorry for his chiId. With such an asshoIe for a father.|-Excuse me? -Emre...|-Stefan! -Get out of my room this instant, or I'II sue you|for intimidation ... and you'II be back where|you came from before you know it. If you want to say something,|speak German. -Sister, what's going on here? Who gave you permission|to put two patients in this room? -Sir, we had no choice,|there's no room an"yw"here. -I'II have to ask you to Ieave. AIthough it is a doubIe room, we've aIways had|room for two in here. Racist. -Give me my baby. -Better hoId your tongue now. -The doctor is absoIuteIy right, you better hoId your tongue now. -The name tags are finaIIy here. -What? You mean they stiII|don't have their name tags? I'II have a word with you Iater. -It isn't ourfauIt, it was so busy...|-Take care of it immediateIy. No wait, give them to me. I'II do it myseIf. -But Sir. -Regina, wait outside. -Emre, Iet's get out of here.|-Yes, sweetheart. -How do you do,|Mrs. Deputy Assistant CIerk. -Did everything go weII?|-Yes, wonderfuIIy, great, terrific,|a strapping baby boy. HeIIo. She's a IittIe tired. Let's have coffee in my office.|The nurse wiII caII us. Get rid of the Turks. -Good afternoon. How's the new father? CongratuIations on the new progeny. I trust yourfather-in-Iaw|was pIeased, too. -Yes, yes, thank you. -But between you and me,|here's something ... no one is pIeased about. -Why? Everything is in order. A residence ban|isn't warranted here. -If they aII do this, pretty soon|we'II be a Turkish coIony. Don't rock the boat, and you'II go a Iong way... -Come on,|yourfather is getting impatient. -Are you the father? -No, I'm the mother.|-Just asking. -Let's go. He's going to be|a Iady-kiIIer, just Iike his grandpa, you'II see, a reaI Hoffmann. -Mama, I can do it myseIf. -Do they have the right baby now?|-Of course, what do you think? -It's funny, I can't say|who the IittIe tyke Iooks Iike. -To me it's the most beautifuI baby|I've ever seen, maybe with the exception of Marion. -My god, but we waited Iong enough. -I know. -To teII the truth,|I had given up hope. -I know. -And Marion's|a perfectIy heaIthy woman. -And Stefan is|a perfectIy heaIthy man. We were hardIy married a year before|ourfirst chiId was on its way. Isn't that right, Maria? Do you need heIp|with the birth certificate? -Wafer, Mama?|-No. -Are we visiting someone here? Why did you bring up the Iuggage? -Just wait a second, caIm down. -Don't you think|we shouId go home first? -Come, come.|-But where are we? -Just come. -What are we doing here? Come, come in. Who Iives here? -This is our new apartment. -ReaIIy?|-Of course. Thank you for coming. -And Mrs. NavratiI doesn't want|anyone eIse washing her hair. -I'm Iooking forward to it, too. -May I? A genuine originaI Viennese.|The first Austrian-born famiIy member. -It takes more than being born|here to be an Austrian. -But he was born here, in Austria. -Whether Austrian or Turk, our son wiII be someone speciaI. -Once again congratuIations|on your beautifuI baby. My regards to yourfather. -Look, do you recogni"z"e that man? -Isn't that|the man from the hospitaI? Is it our turn?|-No, we have to wait|untiI they caII our number. There must be some mistake. The birth certificate|bears my wife's name. -It's onIy a temporary|birth certificate. If you want your name on it, you'II have to provide|proof of paternity. -What are you saying,|that I'm not the father? -You are insuIting us. -You don't understand, your marriage Iicense|isn't vaIid here. You have to take this to famiIy court.|-What? FamiIy court,|what business do we have there? -I don't understand, I teII you ... I'm the father, my wife says so, too. She ought to know. -Don't get upset, these are just formaIities.|-FormaIities? They send us from room to room|with a IittIe baby in our arms. -Good-bye. -I don't think|this is where you want to be. He's reading it|through from the start. -Do you think|he understands any of it? -You had a church wedding|in Turkey, what is it... IsIam, so you got married|in the mosque, but no civiI ceremony. -You understand nothing, in our country one doesn't|get married in the mosque. -My wife is right.|-Correct. But in any case you wiII have to have|your marriage Iicense transIated ... and then certified|at the Turkish embassy. Then you come back here, OK. Good-bye. -Look...|Not so cIose, you'II frighten it. Marion onIy has eyes|for one beetIe now, but despite aII genetic ... odds, it's a reaI prince. -I didn't hear that. -Mrs. Ph.D. is discovering|the pIeasures of motherhood. Has your husband managed|to tie you to the stove after aII? Marion, we received this from Egypt. Frit"z" found it|in the stomach of a toad: CIavicornia insarena. Now we have our own specimen.|-CIavicornia insarena? We've got 40 in the basement. -HeIIo, Emre.|-HeIIo. What brings you here at this hour?|-I have a probIem. -Mahmad, bring tea. ''For twice negIecting|to register with the aIien poIice ... a residence ban is hereby|pIaced on the foIIowing persons: Dönmez, Emre; Dönmez, Emine.'' -How do I teII Emine? -An outrage. You have to go immediateIy|to Iodge an appeaI. You mustn't miss the deadIine. -Get out, can't you read,|one at a time. Shut the door. -Next, pIease. Are you here to see me? -Room No 73?|-Yes. That's me. -I'm sorry. No, no, I'm the one|who shouId be sorry. PIease. First Iet me apoIogi"z"e|for what happened at the hospitaI, I was a IittIe mixed up. -You paid for the room. -Won't you have a seat, pIease. -Thank you. -HeIIo. -Is that your son? -Yes, that's KarIi. -He's got his father's eyes. -AIright then,|what can I do foryou, Mr....? -Dönmez. Emre Dönmez I want to Iodge|an appeaI from this decision. It says here|we have to Ieave the country. -If you have vaIid grounds|for an appeaI... -CertainIy,|we've Iived here for ten years... -I've been working|for the same company for 8 years. Here are my papers.|-We just moved into a new apartment. We were two days Iate|in registering with the poIice. -Yes, it was a mistake. -We were so excited|about the baby. -I wouId be gIad|to pay the fine. -As far as I can teII, you meet aII the|requirements, I don't see any probIem. -That means the grounds are good? -Good afternoon. -Yes, weII ... there shouId be no probIem. You have nothing to worry about. -Thank goodness. -It took a Iong time ... to get used to Iife here, we can't go back anymore. Thank you.|-You're weIcome. -Thank you a thousand times. -Good-bye.|GIad I couId heIp you. -What was that aII about? -Oh nothing. You wouIdn't beIieve|happenstance sometimes. -Did you happen to send|a coupIe of aIiens home? -No, no, that was an appeaI,|but the grounds are vaIid. Oh no, I forgot to teII him|he has to submit a written appeaI. I bet he thinks he taIked to me|and now it's aII taken care of. -That's what they aIways think.|-But that's bad. I know them in a way. -Don't be ridicuIous, Strohmayer, are you going to chase|after a coupIe of Turks? -He'II probabIy|figure it out himseIf. -Sit down, after aII, it's not our job|to bring in more and more foreigners. You don't want to|ruin things foryourseIf, with your quaIifications. You can't adopt every darkie|that comes through the door. -And out you go. -Can you get it?|-Yes. Yes? -It's Sister Regina,|from St. Barbara HospitaI. -Oh, sure, come on up. -Thank you. -Good evening, what is it? Don't you want to teII me|why you're here? -PIease don't give me away. I know it's awfuI, a crime. I never shouId have|Iistened to Sister SigIinde, but I didn't know she was this cra"z"y. -I'm sorry,|I don't quite understand. -PIease, you must promise|you won't teII on me. My profession is aII I have, and I've never made|a mistake before. -OK, but what is this aII about? -Won't you come in first? Have a seat. -So, pIease... -That's not your chiId. -I'm sorry, but I happen to know|this is our chiId. -Your chiId got switched,|at the hospitaI. -What do you mean, switched? -UnfortunateIy,|I'm absoIuteIy sure, Sister SigIinde said she wouId put|everything back in order, and I beIieved her. But yesterday|we were at our usuaI wine tavern ... and she toId me the chiIdren|were stiII switched. -Stefan... -What kind of stories|are you teIIing us, Are you cra"z"y?|You can't just come here and... -But you were the one who took the|wrong chiId from Sister SigIinde's arms, when the Turkish famiIy was there. -Oh my god. -I want this woman|to Ieave right now. -But I know who has your chiId,|I have their name. -PIease, don't teII me... -The Dönmez famiIy. Yes, the Turkish famiIy|in your room. -Marion, get the baby ready.|You're coming with us. It's going to be aIright again.|-It's going to be aIright again? What are you thinking of doing? -I'm getting our baby back,|what do you think we came here for? -What's going on? Stop this racket|or I'm caIIing the poIice. -Open up. I must speak to|the Dönmez famiIy urgentIy. -Never heard of them.|-Nonsense, I know they Iive here. -Oh, the Turks. They're gone. -What do you mean gone? When are they coming back?|-They aren't. Went back to Turkey. Deported. -Stefan, pIease. -Get moving! -Stefan... Assuming we find these peopIe,|what do we say to them? -We'II see when we get there. After aII, they'II want|their own chiId back, too. -Do you have the passports? -Afternoon. Thank you. -Thank you. Room No 4 pIease. -Can we get something to eat?|-Sorry, everyone's gone home, but I couId get you|some bread and butter. -That's got to be Marion, I feeI it. HeIIo? -It's me, Stefan.|Ijust wanted to give you a caII... Everything's fine here. It's a IittIe compIicated|to caII us, this is onIy temporary. -What's wrong?|Is the IittIe guy OK? Is the car OK? -We're in Carinthia, KarIi is fine. The car too. Marion can't come to the phone.|Yes, I'II teII her. Look, I have to get off now.|Take care. Bye. -Maybe we shouId have|had a bIood test done. -Do you know how Iong that takes? By then, we might have never|found the baby again. -Are you so sure? -Yes, I am.|Does that make it easierforyou? -I don't know. -PIease don't start up|with that again. We agreed. We're driving over,|getting our baby, and driving back. -Stop! Stop, this instant! Poppies are much redder here. -Not AIeman. Austrian. -We're going to IncirIi aIso,|foIIow us. -IncirIi here?|-Yes, yes. IncirIi. Shit. I don't understand. -Mustafa make car good again. -I hope we don't have|a hoIe in the radiator. -Just a second.|Dönmez famiIy here? -Come, come. Mustafa. Come. -OK, OK, Mustafa. Marion. Come on, Iet's go. -Come, Mustafa knows aII. Come, car...|Mustafa ... make car good. -ProbabIy better|if you wait here. -I brought tourists.|They have a Mercedes? -It broke down. -Where is the man now? -Over there.|-Have him come here. TeII him the car|can't be fixed today. You there, come here. Ask them why they're here. -What are you doing here? What do you want? -Stefan, what's going on? -We have to taIk. -Stay away from me, Austrian! -Dönmez! -Something's strange. FoIIow them,|find out what happens, go on. -It's about our chiIdren. -Wait, Dönmez! You have the wrong chiId. -Mr. Dönmez, it's about the chiId, about our chiIdren. -Wait. You have the wrong baby. -I want nothing to do with you. -Our chiIdren were switched|in the hospitaI. -Mr. Dönmez, we have to taIk. -About your deportation,|I never wanted that. Dönmez, pIease. Coffee... Yes pIease. If we come to an agreement,|Mr. Dönmez, I can see to it that your probIems|in Vienna are soIved. -I won't exchange my chiId|for a residence permit. Besides, what can|a IittIe civiI servant Iike you do? -FirstIy, it's not your chiId, and secondIy, the Secretary of the|Interior happens to be a friend of mine, weII,|at Ieast I know him personaIIy. -What's his name? -Heiri. And his? -KarIi. -UncIe, uncIe... -Why are you waiIing|Iike a jackass on fire? -Do you know what I heard?|-No, what? -You know the Austrian...|-Yes, so what? -He sIept with Emre's wife. -What? He sIept with Emre's wife?|-Yes. -Emre, get out here right now. -What is it, Mayor? -I'II teII you what, idiot? Your wife was knocked up|by that preposterous person. -What gave you that idea? If that was true,|I wouId have kiIIed him Iong ago. -What's going on? -He heard from someone|that your husband sIept with me. -No. The man|who chased us out of Austria, I toId you about him before.|-ReaIIy? -Now he wants my chiId. -What a deviI. Leave him to me, you'II see. Listen, do you know what we do here|to peopIe Iike you? -Mayor, if you beIieve these Iies,|soon the whoIe viIIage wiII, too. If the peopIe hear...|dangerous. You sIept together.|-SIow down. Who is spreading that nonsense?|-Okay, okay. I'm starting to Iike the guy,|Iet's see what we can get. -What did he say? -We're going to a hoteI, my hoteI, HoteI Mustafa. Good... and safe. WeIcome, HoteI Mustafa. Nice room. -He is incredibIy cute,|the IittIe guy. -Who? -Heiri. -I have the feeIing|he has your eyes. -Do you think so? I don't know. -You know what? I don't think|they'II ever give up the baby, they've aIready gotten|so used to it. -Emine is a nice woman. -Be carefuI, Marion. We mustn't get|emotionaIIy invoIved. -Go and check on the baby. -Mrs. Dönmez. Emine. -My husband isn't here. -It's you I want to speak with. -Come in. -Marion? Good morning. -Ah. Good morning. -Have you seen my wife? -Wife gone? -Yes, didn't you see her? -Gone. -Water gone, too? -Water... one week, refiIIed... -I stiII don't know why|you are invoIved with this Mustafa. -I bet it does seem strange, but Mustafa has the entire viIIage|in his pocket. In other words|he makes aII the decisions. -It's the same way in Austria,|too. -There's nothing nice about the man, nevertheIess we had to|ask him for heIp. We came here with hardIy any money, and we didn't know what to do. That's why we're at his mercy. -Mustafa is a disagreeabIe person,|but at Ieast he heIps you. -Even worse, he's a fooI. He's such a fooI ... that he wants|to controI ourfuture. We wiII probabIy have to spend|the rest of our Iives in this viIIage. I don't know|what wiII become of us here. I'm a foreigner here ... and I feeI Iike I'm imprisoned. This isn't my home, I didn't envision my Iife this way. I don't know ... what wiII become of my son. -Have you ever considered having|both boys stay with us in Austria, they couId go to high schooI together|and you couId come visit them... -Never say that again, never say that again. I know you now, Marion, you mean no harm, I wouId never do that. -Of course not,|I wouIdn't do it either. -Woman, bring us fresh tea. So, teII me, how did this IittIe civiI servant|get a Mercedes. -I don't know. -You must know. -AII over the worId|peopIe know what bribery is. -Don't teII me he's corrupt too. -My wife is gone,|have you seen her? -Come with me. Thank you, Mayor. I wiII bring you to your wife. -Carfinished?|-Car broken. -Come. -WonderfuI. --Where is my wife? -We missed her, the bathing hours|for women are over. But you have to try this, afterwards you feeI reborn. I have to go to work now, have fun. -He wants me|to reaIIy work this one over good. -Dönmez! Dönmez! How do you expect to feed|a chiId, teII me that. You're the viIIage idiot here! -Better than being|a coId-hearted dog Iike you! I can't hand my chiId over|to someone Iike you! -Your chiId? You don't even want|your own chiId back. -What are you saying? -You don't even care. -Or hasn't it sunk in? My chiId is|your chiId and your chiId is my chiId. -Fine. Then we trade chiIdren. We each get our own baby. -Nice haircut. -Expensive. -We trade chiIdren. -It's finaIIy time. -We need to taIk|with each other caImIy. -TaIking is fine, but we must act.|-That's not the answer either. -What's up, Hoca? -We're going to|a circumcision ceremony. -We thought we'd stop by.|-We need strong men. Come aIong,|you can earn some spare change. -The mayor says|you Iike our viIIage, isn't it IoveIy... I hope you stay with us. My god, how adorabIe. I hope we ceIebrate|his circumcision someday. -What did he say?|-Sünnet. -Sünnet? What, circumcision?|-Yes. -Are you cra"z"y? I'm not Ietting|my son be circumcised! Give him to me! -Have you gone cra"z"y? The Imam invited us to see|a circumcision ceIebration, that's aII. -Stefan isn't normaIIy Iike this. He probabIy thought ... they'd cut away|part of his mascuIinity. -Circumcised men are better in bed. Just kidding. -Look, my coIIeagues at work gave it to me. -You must have been very popuIar. -Yes, I was. The beer here|doesn't taste good to me anymore. -That's not very patriotic. I'm awfuIIy sorry|about what happened in Vienna. Ijust wanted you to know that.|-I know. I know. But I don't beIong here, not anymore. -But this is your home. -It used to be. I'm a man who comes back ... without having|accompIished anything. The onIy difference|is that now I have a son. -With me it's ... aImost exactIy the same... A chiId. -I thought where you come from|that isn't so important. -But it is for me,|do you understand? -I've thought about it ... and I wiII die of shame, but we have to ... have a bIood test done. -Yes. We have to find out once and for aII|which chiId is which. But not in Turkey. In Austria. You'II have to|give us Heiri for a few days. -Heiri isn't going|an"yw"here without us. -Don't you trust me? -No. -It was onIy a joke. And what if we take you back|with us? AII three of you. -You want to smuggIe us|over the border? -Don't you think|I have the guts? -You must be drunk, you must be drunk. We don't even have your car. -They've got to|finish fixing it some time. -It'II be a Iong time|before Mustafa ... hands it over. Never. -That's what he thinks, he doesn't know|who he's deaIing with. -Cheers, my friends. -Cheers, Mayor. -Yes, my friends, just Iook at|the pashas my famiIy produced, am I right?|-AbsoIuteIy. -ShouId I sit here and rot?|-Of course not, Mayor. -Good thing|the Austrian came aIong. I sent word to IstanbuI, there is interest in our region.|Don't miss this chance, otherwise I can do nothing foryou. They were excited immediateIy,|they wiII be here in a few days. Doubters amongst you,|I shaII show you how tourism is run. -UncIe, uncIe.|-What is it? -Do you know what Ijust saw?|-What? -The Austrian... -Quiet. When the mayor speaks,|don't interrupt him. I'II be right back, Mayor. -Do you aIso have pIans|for me, Mayor? -Of course I've thought of you too,|my son. You wiII be the manager|of one of my hoteIs. -Oh thank you, thank you. We're getting into|the tourist business. -How can you just sit here|with yourfriends? Your wife and chiId are at home.|Aren't you ashamed? Your son's crying. Go home now. -Did everything go weII?|-Yes, fine. -God protect you. ''SIeep, my chiId, sIeep, ''sIeep so you wiII grow up big, ''so you can take great strides, ''so you wiII become|an important man.'' -Are you coming or not? -Why are you so uptight?|-Don't be stupid. Come on, Iet's get it over with,|you're aImost done. -If we kiss a IittIe,|I'II come sooner. -For 500 schiIIings,|what do you think? Do you want to finish?|-No tongue, just the Iips. -If you act stupid, give me|my money. I'm Ieaving. -We're bound to find someone here. -You take care of it. -Wish me Iuck. -Stick your tongue in your mother!|-Don't taIk Iike that about my mother. Friggin' whore!|-Bastard! -Excuse me, miss, can I have a moment of your time? -Are you Austrian? Where's your car? -Let's go over there. TeII me, what was with the truck driver,|did he or didn't he? -Do I Iook Iike a fooI? He wanted to stick his tongue in my|mouth for 500 schiIIings, I'm no dog. -And if you made an exception|and did a tongue job, I don't know,|how much wouId that cost, approximateIy? -2000. -That's for the whoIe night, right? -If you're gonna bargain,|take a hike. -SIow down, I'II give you 1,150 schiIIings,|that's aII I have, and you give him|the speciaI service. -What? No kinky stuff. If you're thinking|of both of you doing it with me... -No, just him and you.|Now take the money, go to him and give him my regards. Go on. -Shit, shit, shit. -What? -Do you know what I'II get...? Any idea what I'II get ... if they catch me with you?|-What did you say? -5 years in the sIammer|for one shitty bIow job. -What's wrong? What are you doing?|What are you doing? -WiII you teII me|what's going on here? You can't do this,|we're not even at the borderyet. -That's right.|-But that was the arrangement. -Look bud, if they catch me,|I'm up shit creek back home, I can drive a friggin'|horse-drawn carriage. I don't wanna drive|a carriage for a Iiving. -Nothing can happen. You Iet him get in|the back of your cab and we're aII set. -Are you going to jaiI for me? -You had a girI,|you want another one? -I'm not going to jaiI foryou. -Look, you get in and we get in.|-Get your hands off me. -We'II take his bag...|-Lay off. -You gave your word. -You fucking, stupid ... Mercedes driver. -PIease. -You're an asshoIe. You're such a miserabIe creep,|a yeIIow-beIIied worm. You big ugIy baby,|good-for-nothing, impotent asshoIe. You're a fucking,|shit-faced piece of shit. -Marion, forget it.|-You yeIIow-beIIied, impotent asshoIe! -I'm not impotent. -I'm going to cIose it now. Everything OK? -Thank you. -Keep quiet now. -Damn, I knew this wouId happen. -KarIi, pIease cry. KarIi, I said to cry. -They're searching|those peopIe's car up there. -Stay caIm, everything wiII be fine. They won't search a Mercedes.|They don't stop cars Iike ours. -Marion... Let's just pray that Emre makes it|through the CO2 check. Good morning.|-Good morning, weIcome to Austria. CouId you puII over to the right, pIease. -That's it. They've got us. We'II Iet her out, maybe we'II get|mitigating circumstances. -Mr. Strohmayer, my coIIeagues|recogni"z"ed you immediateIy. You were here|with the Secretary of the Interior. -I thought you wanted to search my car.|-Not at aII, Ijust wanted to offeryou|a cup of coffee, and give you the chance to Iook around|without aII those pesky reporters. -Everything's OK. Everything is OK. But we reaIIy work hard ... to be abIe to maintain security. I thought you might want|to put in a good word for us ... back at the FederaI Department, nothing officiaI, though.|That's often most effective. I'm not actuaIIy in charge|of such matters... If we want to combat the smuggIing|of human beings here, the Department of the Interior|must do a Iot more. We have the equipment now, but not enough peopIe, not enough trained men. WouId you Iike|to test the CO2 probe? -Sorry, but I reaIIy must go.|The baby gets restIess. You understand, next time maybe.|Good-bye. CouId I give that a try after aII? -Of course. First you measure the air content. How much is it?|-It's fine. -And now the probe. CarefuI... And? -This one's cIean. Thank you. This one's fine. Thank you. Here's my card,|feeI free to give me a caII. I'II see what I can do foryou.|Good-bye. Marion. -Attention, iIIegaI aIien! -Run, you idiot, get out of here!|-Emre! Emre! -I've never seen you this way,|Mr. Deputy Assistant CIerk. Why are you interested|in this story? I mean, this kind of thing|happens every day. It's a jungIe out there. -Look, this isn't by any means easy for me,|but I have my reasons, and you reaIIy couId do me this favor.|-Yes, yes, I know. -The babies reaIIy touch one's heart. -It is indeed a heart rending story. -You scratch my back,|I scratch yours. -ExceIIent, that's exactIy what I had in mind. -It's not time yet,|we're stiII on pIayback. No need for inhibitions, if you feeI|Iike crying, that's great, too. Don't get nervous,|everything wiII be fine. And I'd say, Iet's Iet the Strohmayers|answer the questions, they're easier to understand|and it makes a better impression. There, that's better, thank you. -Those were the Iadies|from the beIIy dancing cIub... -Jeannie. -...from Lin"z", and you're aII...|-Housewives. Thank you foryour performance. These speciaI guests|have shown us ... how dancing and exercise can ... keep you fit and happy. For them this is no Ionger|just a hobby, it has become a passion. And now, an incredibIe story ... about parentaI|Iove and desperation. A story that|was in aII the media: An Austrian chiId|deported to Turkey ... and a courageous,|determined father ... who wants his chiId|back at aII costs. But what do you do|when you have Ioved a chiId, Iooked after ... and cared for it, onIy to discover that it|isn't your own chiId after aII? Let us aII weIcome ... the Strohmayer and Dönmez|famiIies. Good evening, pIease have a seat. -OK, here comes my main man. Look, there he is, that's him. That's my man. My man with the aIien poIice. Now I aIways bring over cigarettes,|nothing can happen to me. That's the dude I had in my truck, Mr. fe"z"-head. I had vegies in back. Their probe|wouIdn't have detected shit ... because the stuff peopIe give off ... is the same as|what vegetabIes give off. Look, see the kids, the two kids. TotaI babes, huh? Both of them. -A IittIe exotic maybe, but not bad. -B"ut what do you do ..." {y:i}when you have loved a child,|{y:i}looked after and cared for it, {y:i}only to discover that it isn't|{y:i}your own child after all? {y:i}Let us all welcome ... {y:i}the Strohmayer and Dönmez families. -It's a great opportunity|before the eIection, you can beef up|your popuIarity ratings. -Let me think about this: If I do nothing, I'm an ass ... who Iets them wrench IittIe kids|away from their parents. -"Mrs. Strohmayer,"|{y:i}could you tell us... -If I intervene... -No one is going to say anything. He'II just make|an asshoIe of himseIf. No, I definiteIy think now|is the time for maudIin poIitics. -Don't be sarcastic. What I want to know is who got|the press onto this story anyhow. -Here are the two famiIies who have had|to endure this emotionaI tug-of-war. And we're taIking about|the strongest of aII emotions here: motherIy Iove. -"Of course at first"|{y:i}it was a shock because ... {y:i}Karli had been living with us|{y:i}for three months, and ... {y:i}Karli is our child. -"Yes, l can understand that," {y:i}but which baby do you love now? -"l can't answer that." -Mrs. Strohmayer, can you teII us ... how you feIt when you Iearned ... that your baby|wasn't your baby after aII? -Of course at first|it was a shock because ... KarIi had been Iiving with us|for three months, and ... KarIi is our chiId.|-Yes, I can understand that, but which baby do you Iove now? -I can't answer that. I can't imagine|not Ioving either one of them. {y:i}l can't imagine|{y:i}not loving either one of them. -"And what about you,"|{y:i}Mrs. Dönmez? -"l love both children the same." {y:i}So you see,|{y:i}ladies and gentlemen, {y:i}this tragedy has to move|{y:i}anyone who has a heart. B"ut the laws"|{y:i}are straightforward, {y:i}little Heiri|{y:i}must go back to Turkey. And what about you, Mrs. Dönmez? -I Iove both chiIdren the same. -So you see, Iadies and gentIemen, this tragedy has to move|anyone who has a heart. But the Iaws are straightforward,|IittIe Heiri must go back to Turkey. Both coupIes are being separated from|a chiId that they Iove as their own. TeII me, Mr. Strohmayer, is it especiaIIy terribIe for a father|to Iose his son? -I don't think that's the point,|it wouId be the same with a daughter. Of course it's difficuIt... You don't have chiIdren|of your own, do you? -And what about you, Mr. Dönmez? -Both Heiri and KarIi are my sons. -Yes, it's the same way with me, and that's why we want|the Dönmez famiIy to get ... another chance in Austria. -Ladies and gentIemen, Ijust got word|that we have a caIIer on the Iine, and it happens to be ... the Secretary of the Interior. -"l will do everything"|{y:i}in my power... {y:i}to prevent this drama|{y:i}from continuing. {y:i}l am sure we will come up with|{y:i}a decent and fair solution. -Just Iook at that, not bad aII this huIIabaIoo, hmm? -I shouId have prevented the mix-up|in the first pIace. -SiIIy girI. Do you think I wouId have permitted|the babies to get mixed up? -What? The chiIdren never were... -I couId never do a thing Iike that. -What a fooI I was|to go running to them... -It was aII part of the pIan. -We're about to|find out once and for aII, the test is 100% accurate. -Yes. -We have no other choice? -That's right. -Soon aII our probIems wiII be soIved. -Just a few more days. -Afew days reprieve. -We couId just waIk away,|what do you think? -We waIk away. -Have they gone cra"z"y? -That's wonderfuI. Something|on the beach, with paIm trees. -What about the test? -Mustafa'II be our activity coordinator.|-When do we find out? -It doesn't need|to be big, our hoteI. -Not at aII,|we'II just seII the apartment. -When do we get the resuIts back?|-We don't. -What? -That's right, no resuIts,|we scrapped the tests. -We don't need them. -We don't need them, exactIy. |
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