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The Saint-Tropez police corps represents France... ...at the international congress in New York. Hurry. Hurry up, Berlicot. Tricart, the rod. Mrs. Merlot, help him. He can't do it. Help him. Fougasse of course. Is it going to take forever? - It's stuck, chief. Attention. Attention. - Get up. Attention. Are you ok? Where's the arnica? - On the top shelf. Hurt yourself? - No, I'm going to drink it. Let me. What a sight, the day I'm going on a far trip. I don't like leaving you all alone. Me neither. You could have taken me along. The sergeant isn't taking his wife either. I could have arranged it on my own. I've wanted to go to the US for so long. Seduced by a billionaire... Handsome and young... - You've been reading fairytales in secret. I want to see America. Some other time. - Yeah, right. New York isn't America. I read twelve guides. And those three words of English I taught you. Is this the thanks I get? I'm still going. On the way to fame, right? Not for me. - You'll be bored. Are you coming to Deauville? Deauville, is that near Le Havre? I'll drive the extra distance in exchange for a smile from you. Give me five minutes. You're not afraid, gentlemen? This is the first time... - Get in. That's an order. Get in. And what about me? Close the door. I like girls with guts. Daddy might not. Good luck. New York, I'm on my way. I hope. There we go. - Like in a fairytale. Skyscrapers, here we come. And at 5 pm the streets are filled with typists on roller skates. You know what I mean. Don't you have any manners? Don't forget the whole world is watching us. There. To your cabin. All those elevators... - Did you make a mistake? Come and look. This is the map. We're here. It's that way. And now straight ahead. You can't go wrong. That's a cabin. Look, there it is. With the map it's easy. Sorry, but we're going in circles. No, sergeant. We're going to the promenade deck... ...and then we'll be... Where are we? No English. This boat is a maze. - It's simple. We walked to starboard from the sun deck... ...over the veranda deck, through the library... ...and now we're at port... ...at the upper deck... No, that's downstairs. That's a regular deck. And the elevator must be there. The swimming pool. Not too tired, sergeant? Shall we have a drink? - Get lost. Can I ask you something? Do passengers sometimes sleep in the deck chairs? Especially in this nice weather. But a cabin is more comfortable. Yes, but the sea air... Sit down, sergeant. It's simple really. The boat is beautiful but huge. And with you as a guide it's enormous. What'll it be? Whisky soda? Beer, cola, martini on the rocks? Very good. Your knowledge of Shakespeare's language comes in handy. Because we'll be completely lost there. I can teach the men a few words. Get up. See the difference? Translation. Get up I say. My hat is... My tailor is rich. - Who said that? I did. - Was that you, sergeant? Very funny. Your turn, sergeant. Please stay seated. See? Clearly a denial. Translation. Stay seated. My flowers are beautiful. Your flowers are not beautiful. Your flowers have wilted. Out. For disagreeing with the sergeant. Your attitude is not unjust. Who said that? What did you say? Your attitude is unjust. - Out. Don't talk back. Out. And now a little bit of normal conversation. You ask a passer-by for directions to the Americana Hotel. I'm that passer-by. What do you want? Where's the Americana Hotel... Tongue between your teeth. Tongue between your teeth. Excellent. That's it. - The sweetheart. A hundred lines: I am stupid and aggressive. A joke. - Two hundred. I want you out of my sight. Out. As a reward for my brightest student... ...I'm telling a story now. Write down. Once upon a time there was... ...a beautiful dragonfly... Attention. This is an exercise. It's only an exercise. The Italians have finished already. What are you doing? - Writing lines. You have 30 seconds to put on your swimming jacket. The Italians have finished already. Where is Merlot? - Getting cigarettes. Where am I? - I don't speak French. Don't make a fool of yourself. - I'm in a knot. Untie yourself then. Cruchot, I'm very dismayed. The Italians are laughing at us. I have one absent man and two clowns. I hate you. But don't tell anybody. Attention. End of the exercise. Thank you for your cooperation. Just soup and some fruit. I'm not hungry. You know why. In five minutes, I'll report him in as a deserter. Order for him. I'm not hungry. Maybe he jumped into the sea. - To avoid being court martialed. What is *chicken soup*? Just give him an egg. You know what I said. Friends. Sergeant, I want to embrace you. Don't make it worse than it is. Your colleague must be cold. He should stay in bed. He has a fever. No, I just haven't eaten since this morning. You can eat once you find the way on your own. Smile. Revenge? - No, I'd rather not. Seventeen goals. You're a sieve. That's because of the swaying of the boat. We look like fools. This was totally botched-up. Fougasse has dizzy spells. It's the smallpox vaccination. I can't handle that. It happened before. I don't feel well. Take him away. Tomorrow it will be forgotten. The Italians are making fun of us. Patience, sergeant. We'll get our revenge. When the boat stops swaying. Attention. What's your problem? Come on. Will you come and dance tonight. We'll be there tomorrow. I want to go to bed. I'd love to dance with you. Honestly. There are plenty of women. They all look at you. They say Italians are womanizers and it's true. Well, at least your honest. - But with a girl it's different. Sorry, I have to go to a friend. Bye bye. This is the sun deck. See that chimney? - Look at that. It's huge. What's that? - Rafts. They think of everything. A beautiful voyage. - Certainly, sergeant. Look at this. I wish I had brought my wife... ...but this is an official trip. The smallest mistake can have serious consequences. And we're more free without our wives and daughters. Let me buy you a drink. Impossible. - Sure it is. My treat. What is it? Don't act like Fougasse. I thought I saw my daughter. - Where? I thought... Cruchot, take a hold of yourself. I'm going to get some fresh air... And, doctor? Hard to say. He has a fever, But his condition is quite normal. He needs a thorough check-up. - On shore? An ambulance will pick him up. In a couple of days, you'll be as good as new. Don't let me down, friends. I want to see New York. Your boarding pass, please. I had it earlier. Yeah, yeah, come along. No passport, no ticket, no visa. So a stow-away? I have to inform your embassy. I'm Frank Davis, journalist. I'm looking for good news about the boat trip. And not about gendarmes. You interest me. Why did you want to be here? What's your name? You can talk, no? Nicole. And your last name? - Just Nicole. Do your parents know you're here? I'm an orphan. I always wanted to go to the US. It's so big, so fascinating. Fantastic. A French orphan comes to discover New York. That'll be a good story. I'll take care of everything. Let's go to our rooms to freshen up. Good morning. The rooms of the French delegation. What's he saying? - He's saying so much. My flower is beautiful. You get a room. Tomorrow you'll be on television. - Nobody will care. We love fairytales. Snowwhite is a celebrity here. My English is bad. I heard you sing. Very nice. - I only have these clothes. I'll take you shopping at our expense. That's my girl. Assemble. Visit to New York. Forward march! Excuse me, gentlemen. Jack Berry, American television. We want the gendarmes of Saint-Tropez in our show. Ah, American television. We're very honoured. The congress starts today. But tomorrow we're available. The police don't have to be as depressed as a prison door. Again? That's enough. I'm healthy. Very healthy. I can't stand it anymore. Leave me alone. I've had enough. I want to make a phone call. To whom? Certainly, doctor. Understood. Pass him through. I hear you're being childish? I don't want any more injections. I can't even sit. Be reasonable. You're in good hands. They'll make me sick, sergeant. There they go again. Help. To the television studio. Never seen a tv? - My daughter. It's becoming an obsession. - I need to know. Are you mad? Doing this to me abroad. She's leaving. Let me through. Stop that thing. One picture with the French gendarmes. - I'll wait downstairs. Damn. You here, my son? What a surprise. - It's a small world, sister. I'm here for a congress too, but... Sorry, I'm in a hurry. Can I drop you off? I'm driving to Broadway. God help us. The girl that just came in... Her room... The number... Only for ladies. I'm not a lady, I'm the father... Never mind. Stop. I'm looking for my daughter. I'm the father. You didn't mean any harm, but he doesn't want any problems. He asks you not to do these kind of things anymore. Did you hear that? Clear enough? Tell the inspector I will personally keep an eye on things. And I thank him for his understanding. Wait outside for me. Just the usual fuss and everything's ok. Do you find this funny? Being put on the spot like a school boy? Attention. Forward march! The resemblance was striking. I went after her. Don't do it again. The inspector thought you have to see a shrink. That's quite normal here. That girl was more chubby than my daughter. Where did I get that idea? If she was here, your authority wouldn't amount to much. That's disastrous for a gendarme. You realise that? Disastrous. It's green. This private park is one of New York's landmarks. Everybody has a key, but it's not public. This is impossible. I'm dreaming. - You again? We can't fight destiny. I'll accompany you. I'm looking for a hotel that's more quiet. I have family in the Italian part of town. They make good spaghetti. And they have a nice guest room. The mama will spoil you. No, no. Give me my bag. No. I'm going with you. My daughter. - Not again. On the pavement over there. Look. Cruchot, poor guy. Take it easy. Don't hit me like that. He's mad. And little Dorothée whose briefcase you used to carry... ...refused to give you a piece of her sandwich? And she give her chocolate to fat Lulu. I hate fat Lulu. - And you wanted revenge? I got him at an intersection. He hadn't paid his road tax, insulted a police officer. That cost him 52,000 francs. Pre-adolescent frustration complex. I wouldn't know. Second degree para-emotional. Demanding when it comes to love. The little monster... What are you thinking about? - Fat Lulu. As a result of affective frustration you developed towards your daughter... ...an exaggerated and obsessive sense of responsibility. Cyclotymic symptoms of temporary nature... ...can develop together in the subconscious. Can you put that in writing for my sergeant? Don't interrupt me now. Are you going to operate on me? Watch the flame. Keep watching it. Relax. Are you afraid of fire? Not even as a child? I used to light the candles on my birthday cake. That's interesting. Early onset pyromania. Hold this. Concentrate on the flame. Its bright heat. Don't think about your daughter anymore. Think about this cleansing fire... ...this clear flame that will soothe your fears. I feel so calm. I'm letting go. Delightful... Cured. In one session. My personal record. Congratulations. A 100 dollars. Sorry. An important appointment. Interesting method against collection box thieves. Like your method to arrest nudists. That credit goes to Cruchot. Unfortunately, he's not feeling well. Your men are like sports cars. Full of temperament, but vulnerable. We're going to get changed. What is it? Fire. Matches. Must have had a nightmare . That's what it was. A nightmare. What's that? Is it burning? Matches. Look there. That's the sun in the ashtray. Get some more rest, pal. It's over, sergeant. I'm feeling good now. What's the plan for today? First find something to eat. American food isn't bad but I want a steak. The way your daughter prepares them. A match. I haven't seen my daughter for a whole week. My daughter is far from here. Where is she now? But my daughter is a good cook, indeed. Oh yes, that's true. The entrecôte Bercy my wife makes is not bad either. I taught her. I'd have to taste it first. Taste first? That's possible. If somebody can find meat that doesn't taste like plastic. A good piece, so to speak. Out of the question. Attention. Want to find a steak on Broadway? Get everything ready. I'll get the steak myself. That's an example for you. Attempt the impossible and you'll get far. That's the best one. - You can say that again. You wanted to protect me, but let a stranger kiss me. He's nice, isn't he? The French orphan with the Italian gendarme. The audience will love that. You don't have to love him. - I don't? I think you're great. But I have a wife and two kids. I helped you, you helped me. Love on the front page. My entrecôte. The French police have guts. We've been looking for this guy for six months. Congratulations. Don't rush me. Onions... Butter? - Not yet. Mustard. Butter? - No. Salt. Quick or it'll be too late. Not yet. This is the decisive moment. Herbs... No, no butter yet. Some celery... You're getting on my nerves. Butter. This is the big moment. Enough. Wine. And? What do you think? Like velvet... like silk... You really know how to cook. And you know your mustard. Don't let us go into New York after this. Another sip. - Take it easy. Wine is as expensive as Chanel 5 here. Let's live dangerously. On my bed. With your shoes. Don't be so selfish. - It's my bed. What's missing is... - Missing? Here? What's missing, is discipline. He's right. We're living like citizens. I often ask myself: What am I living for? At home people make fun of us and laugh at us... ...told off by your superiors, punished... All that is so far away now. It's not all that far. That's no way to put on a tie. Four days. Those buttons are falling off. On report tomorrow. Face about. Head to the left. On the stomach. Crawl. At ease. Who's speaking? Chief Cruchot. Who's speaking? Fougasse? Good. For you, sergeant. You have to come and get me. I can't handle it anymore, sergeant. I'm going crazy. They don't know what's ailing me. They're just messing around... If they don't allow visitors, they'll have their reasons. Maybe it's contagious. We just had dinner in our room. French food? You've got some guts. What did you have? He's rambling. Take over. We had a nice entrecôte and a piece of camembert, yes... He wants to smell it through the phone. - Hold the leftovers near the phone. As if I'm tasting it on my tongue. I want to go back to France. Such a beautiful country. The sunny coast, the charm of the Provence... ...the greatness of Bretagne, the proud North... ...the blue line of the Vosges. You'll never get Alsace and Lorraine... ...because we'll always be French. You may have germanised our plains, but you'll never conquer our hearts. Today, introduction to baseball and a visit to the museums. Not all 26, I hope. If it was Florence... Bravo, Ludovic. - I say. That's what it says in the newspaper. - On the front page. They cut me out. I wonder why. It's only about you. They cut you out. I won't accept that. That's very bad. Congratulations. They cut you out everywhere. That's so bad. I hate publicity. I'll burn it all. Only the true heroes remain anonymous. Can you translate this? The idyll of the day. Nicole... No, continue. Nicole, the little French orphan... ..arrested at her arrival in New York without passport or visa... ...is living a fairytale thanks to our newspaper. She found true love... ...with a handsome Italian gendarme. I know the rest. Burn it all. Use this. Where are the Italians? Where are the Italians? - Why? To the baseball. What's the purpose? To learn a sport we'll never play. What an Italian can do, a Frenchman can do better. At your orders. Let's go. Four days to find out... ...I'm allergic to seabirds. Keep the change. I'm going to see New York. Its skyscrapers and pin-ups... Here I come, my friends. I broke my leg. They're good at it. Especially that handsome big guy. We'll get them. Concentrate. It's going to be tough. For them, yes. And for him it will be very tough. It's not quite jeu de boules, is it? You want me dead. - Not yet. You're flirting with a French girl, aren't you? I only just met her, but I hope... - Chin up. You can't leave her alone. Go see her. She's with my family, Motta. The mama is looking after her. Well done. That's funny. Do you have relatives in New York? Where? Grocers from father to son. - Where? Near Chinatown. 204, Mott Street. Get the ball. Mott Street 204. My whole shop ruined. I'll pay for the damages. Dubois from France-Presse. For the French girl. I don't speak French. Little Nicole. She left. Oh, how beautiful. A picture with Nicole. She left. - No, the gentleman is a friend. Put on a nice smile. It's no good here. Not here either. Now you're going to see something. That guy's abusing her. The Sicilians. Where did they go? I'm sorry, daddy... - Tell me. The opportunity was too good to miss. Suddenly, I was on the boat, and was being taken away. And now we're both falling into the abyss. They already think I'm crazy. When they see... I'm allowed to travel. I'm not with the army. But I am. And there's travel and travel. If they see you, I'm in trouble. And if they hear how you got here, I'm in even bigger trouble. But you didn't know anything about it. So I don't have any authority over my own daughter... ...and I'm as good as buried. Hide. Sorry, ma'am, wrong room. - Yes, sergeant. Why are you dressed like a Chinese? I bought this in Chinatown. Does it suit me? You look like a fool. What are you doing in that Chinese outfit? A Beaujolais? Anybody there? That's the subway, the vibrations... At the 50th floor? Yes, all metal. I already lost four glasses. There's not a little Chinese over there? My last clean uniform. I'll get some warm water. - No, I'll do it myself. I'll tell you everything... - That will be a stain. Where's the soap? In the bath maybe? What's wrong? - The soap. Your shower leaks. Not turned off properly. Have a look. No, it'll stop on its own. Oh, I thought... And now you have to leave. Goodbye, sergeant. And my kepi? - Out of the question. You won't get it. Now I'm certain. Your shower leaks. I'm going to apply for retirement. Why? Your private life is none of my business, but you're acting very uptight. I didn't mean to disturb you. - Ok, ok, I'm leaving. Farewell cocktail, downstairs, in half an hour. So we have time to pack. Crazy Cruchot. Jerk. I'm here. I almost suffocated. - I'll let you get some air. There's a cocktail. You're leaving tomorrow. My dress is at the Motta's. And it stays there. I don't want to see them anymore. A tragedy for her poor mother. A guy kidnapped her. Marcellino and Giulio weren't able to catch him. I'll kill him. We wanted to call the police, but this is a job for you. You'll be able to find her. Poor child. So fragile and vulnerable. If I find him, I'll kill him. What are you doing with that suitcase? - Nothing, sergeant. What are you thinking? We're late as it is. And tomorrow, we're going home. Great. Don't say that. These people are quite friendly. Yes, and very hospitable. - A present for everybody. A custom made American uniform. Isn't that a nice gift? Hey, Cruchot? Where is he now? What's wrong? My sweetheart has been kidnapped. I'm giving everybody her picture, so we'll find her. Go to bed. Come on. Have this roll instead. If we continue like this, we'll miss our plane. It's nice here... - Too nice. Go to bed. Come on. Let's pack our suitcases. Do I have to pull rank on you? But we're having such a good time. There he is. Nobody. Do you see the little shop? Will you help me buy a dress for my daughter? You have good taste. Your daughter again? - In that shop there. I haven't finished my glass yet. She's disappeared. Kidnapped. From my family's place. Call the police. Do you know her size? Let me look. Too big. Stand over here. I don't think that I... What are you doing? - A dizzy spell... Too late, buddy. We have to pack. The dresses, please. No, that's too... This has class, doesn't it? Oh yes. Perfect. Now what are you doing? I'll take care of the formalities tomorrow, at the airport... ...so you can sleep in. That's nice of you. Should I make some more holes? Knock two times if you're ok. Knock more often in case of an emergency. They won't hear a thing in the luggage area. I have no money for a ticket. And you arrived as a stow-away too. The France was more comfortable. Look at me. The police are looking for you. I'll let you out at Orly. Cookies. Glasses. Thermos. I can't drink a lot... You'll survive eight hours. Careful. It's precious. Are you hurt? Put me straight. I'm upside down. - I'll open it. Everything's fine. - Yes, but I have time. She'll fall. In the car. Get another union or I'll get another cab. A bit more patience, girl. The lock is stuck. Are you ok? Get me out. Everything hurts. Get out. We're there. Get it out. We're there. We're almost there. I'll open it. How are you, my girl? I'm not doing this anymore. Look, I'm bleeding everywhere. Take it easy. Till we get to the airport. We'll see after that. Be strong for a little longer. The lock is broken. And soon the others will come. I'm going to look for a cab. Stay hidden. The airport bar. - You're not coming? They saw me in this uniform. To the airport. Don't put me in that trunk. The airport. Happy we're going home? Yes. But New York is a must see. Don't lose it or you'll have to stay here. The last one to arrive, chief? - Shut up. The cab broke down. I saw an American policeman who was your doppelgänger. We all have one. I'm going to buy some melons. No, cigars. Does he smoke? Excuse me, miss? Well, I'll be... You should congratulate me. Where did you get that? You change too, don't you? What do you have in mind? - To fly. As a stewardess? - They hardly know each other. I don't care? - I'm taking flight 017. To do what? - To help the stewardess. The only problem... - What? 017 is your flight. - Our plane? As long as I get home. - But not in our plane. You could always miss it. Think of something, daddy. See you later. Where? - In Saint-Tropez. Last call for the flight to Paris. Still no luggage? - I'm waiting. And my suitcase? We'll miss the plane. Somebody should be able to help us. Did you see my luggage? The plane is about to take off. Go look for it. You know who I saw? Your daughter. In a plane. Concentrate on the clear flame. Don't think of my daughter. She's far away. I'm very calm. I'm not thinking of anything. I'm relaxing. Lovely... We just barely managed to get Foucasse out. I feel so relieved. - Me too. How was New York? - Great. That dress. Your daughter was in New York. You with your psychoanalysis. You'll pay for this. Attention. Head straight. Beaten on the finish line. You'll pay for this. Forward march. |
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