Hannah and her Sisters CD2
- You're late. - Lucy and l kept talking.
l didn't realise how late it had got.
You missed a very dull TV show about Auschwitz.
More gruesome film clips, and more puzzled intellectuals
declaring their mystification over the systematic murder of millions.
The reason why they can never answer the question ''How could it happen?''
is that it's the wrong question.
Given what people are, the question is ''Why doesn't it happen more often?''
- Of course, it does, in subtler forms. - l have a headache from this weather.
lt's been ages since l sat in front of the TV,
just changing channels to find something.
You see the whole culture:
Nazis, deodorant salesmen,
wrestlers, beauty contests, the talk show...
Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling?
But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers: third-rate con men
telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak for Jesus.
And to please send in money. Money, money, money.
lf Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name,
- he'd never stop throwing up. - Oh, God, would you please lighten up?
l'm really not in the mood to hear a review of contemporary society again.
- You've been very nervous lately. - l can't take this any more.
l'm trying to complete an education l started five years ago.
l'm not your pupil. l was, but l'm not.
When you leave the nest, l want you to be ready to face the real world.
We're going to have to make some changes.
- Like what? - You know what. l'm suffocating.
- Are we having this conversation again? - Yes, we are having it again.
- l have to leave. l have to move out. - Why?
- Because l have to. - What are you going to use for money?
l don't know. l thought maybe l'd move in with my parents for a while.
l always told you you would leave me. Does it have to be now?
Maybe it'll only be temporary, but l have to try.
Oh, Lee. You are my whole world.
Good God. Have you been kissed tonight?
- No. - Oh, yes, you have.
- You've been with someone! - Stop accusing me!
l'm too smart, Lee. You can't fool me!
- You're turning all red. - Leave me alone!
Christ, what's wrong with you?
- l'm sorry. - Couldn't you say something?
- You have to slither behind my back... - l'm saying it now!
So you met somebody else?
But you knew it was going to happen sooner or later. l can't live like this!
- Who is it? - What's the difference? Somebody l met.
- But who? Where did you meet him? - lt doesn't matter. l have to move out.
You are my only connection to the world.
Oh, God, that's too much responsibility for me. lt's not fair!
l want a less complicated life. l want a husband,
- maybe even a child, before it's too late. - Jesus! Jesus!
Oh, God, l don't even know what l want.
What do you get out of me, anyway? l mean...
lt's not sexual any more.
lt's certainly not intellectual. You're so superior to me in every way...
Don't patronise me!
God, l should have married you years ago, when you wanted to.
- l should have agreed. - lt never would have worked.
l told you one day you would leave me for a younger man. l...
What passion today with Lee! She's a volcano.
lt was a totally fulfilling experience, just as l'd dreamed it would be.
That's what it was. lt was like living out a dream. A great dream.
Now l feel very good and cosy being here next to Hannah.
There's something very lovely and real about Hannah.
She gives me a very deep feeling of being part of something.
She's a wonderful woman... and l betrayed her.
She came into my empty life and changed it,
and l paid her back by banging her sister in a hotel room.
God, l'm despicable. What a cruel and shallow thing to do.
l have to call her and say what we did was crazy.
lt can't happen again. l'm not that kind of man, and l value Hannah too much.
l love my wife. Now l betrayed her. Oh, God!
- Where are you going? - l've, uh, got to get a phone number.
- l forgot to phone Mel Kaufman. - lt's so late.
Yeah, l can't believe l forgot.
lf he answers, l'll hang up.
l'll tell her we can't communicate until l terminate my marriage. lt's immoral.
Then time will pass, l won't call, and she'll get the idea.
Gotta stop this before l get in too deep.
l'd rather hurt Lee a little than destroy Hannah.
lt's 1 .30. She can't have a conversation with me with him around.
l'm getting hysterical.
l'll call her first thing in the morning.
l'll call her at six.
Frederick goes jogging at six. l'll call her and nip it in the bud.
l've got it! l've got it!
l would have hung up if you hadn't answered and l won't do this again,
but l just had to tell you... l feel very close to you tonight.
Very, very close.
(Mickey) Millions of books written on every conceivable subject
by all these great minds, and in the end none of them knows anything more
about the big questions of life than l do.
Jesus, l read Socrates.
This guy used to knock off little Greek boys. What the hell's he got to teach me?
And Nietzsche, with his theory of eternal recurrence.
He said that the life we live, we're gonna live over and over again
the exact same way for eternity.
Great. That means l'll have to sit through the ''lce Capades'' again. lt's not worth it.
And Freud, another great pessimist.
l was in analysis for years. Nothing happened.
My poor analyst got so frustrated, the guy finally put in a salad bar.
Look at all these peoplejogging,
trying to stave off the inevitable decay of the body.
Boy, it's so sad what people go through
with their stationary bike and their exercise.
Look at this one. Poor thing. She has to tote all that fat around.
She should pull it on a dolly.
Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
l was in love with Hannah, but it didn't work out too well.
l even took her sister out. Remember that, years ago?
When Hannah and l got divorced and she fixed me up with her sister Holly?
(\ rock guitar)
\ l wanna be like you, said l'm gonna fit into your group
\ l don't wanna be different, said l'm gonna be just like you
\ Because l'm gonna buy the records that they play on the radio
\ l'm gonna dance at clubs, gonna do just what l'm told
\ And l'm bleedin', you know...
- Why are you makin' those faces? - l can't hear you. l can't hear anything.
- l'm gonna lose hearing in my ear. - Listen, you're witnessing genius.
My ears are experiencing a meltdown. l can't hear anything.
Can't you feel the energy, the tangible energy?
The room's alive with positive vibrations.
l'm frightened. After they sing, they're gonna take hostages.
Don't, no, please.
- You want some? Come on! - No, you've been doing that all night.
You're gonna burn a hole... You're gonna develop a third nostril.
- Don't, please. Can we go? - No!
\ Because l'm gonna buy the records that they play on the radio...
l love songs about extraterrestrial life. Don't you?
- Not if they're sung by extraterrestrials. - l cannot communicate with you!
l never knew you were such a tight-ass.
Both your sisters have such good taste in music. Where did you go wrong?
Do you mind? l'm my own person.
- Can l take you to hear something nice? - lt's getting late.
- Come on, cos you're being angry. - l'm not angry!
You don't believe in ESP, you don't like rock music, you won't get high...
lt's like l'm dating Cardinal Cooke!
(\ ''l'm ln Love Again'')
\ Why am l
\ Just as reckless as a child?
\ Why am l
\ Like a racehorse runnin' wild?
\ Why am l
\ ln a state of ecstasy?
\ The reason is cos something's happened to me
\ l'm in love again
\ And the spring is comin'
\ l'm in love again
\ Hear my heartstrings strummin'
\ l'm in love again
\ And the hymn they're hummin'
\ ls those cuddle-up, huddle-up blues
\ l'm in love again
\ And l can't rise above it
\ l'm in love again
\ And l love, love, love it
- Thanks for a swell time(!) - lf you didn't like it,
you didn't have to talk over him.
- l was so bored. - Tough. You don't deserve Cole Porter!
Stay with groups that look like they'll stab their mothers.
- At least l'm open to new concepts. - And you snort cocaine all the time.
Do you carry a kilo in your purse?
This crowd wouldn't know the difference. They're embalmed.
l'm glad Hannah got us together. She's got a great instinct for people(!)
- l'm sorry it didn't work out. - Yeah, me too.
- l've been a little depressed lately. - l had a great time tonight.
- lt was like the Nuremberg trials. - l'll see myself home!
(Mickey) Yep, it was quite an evening.
Holly with her cocaine. Jesus!
She should have been wearing a gold shovel around her neck.
She was polymorphously insensitive, l think.
Too bad, too,
because l always had a little crush on her.
(\ ''You Made Me Love You'')
You just have to read the instructions.
You set one of these things and you can take pictures underwater.
When we get to the country, we'll try it in the lake.
- Can l try? - Yeah, OK.
Are you in a bad mood?
l don't know. l'm just antsy.
Yes, l know. The last few weeks you haven't been yourself.
And tonight at dinner you were kind of curt with me.
- Was l? - Yes, you were.
And when l brought up the idea of having a baby, you jumped down my throat.
- Well, l don't think it's a very good idea. - Why not?
Because it's the last thing in the world we need right now.
Why do you say that? ls something wrong?
- l don't know. - Well, tell me. Should l be worried?
- Well, you got four children. - l want one with you.
Well... l think we should wait till things settle.
What does that mean?
We've been married four years. How settled can things get?
You have some very set plans on how your life should be structured.
A house, kids, certain school, a home in Connecticut...
lt's all very... preconceived.
Yeah, but l... l thought you needed that.
When we met, you said your life was chaos.
l know, but there's gotta be some give and take.
Oh, listen. l don't know what the hell l'm talking about.
- Are you angry with me? - No!
Do you feel, um... Are you disenchanted with our marriage?
- l didn't say that. - Do you love someone else?
My God, what is this? The Gestapo? No!
- What are you not telling me? - What kind of interrogation...?
Suppose l said ''Yes, l am disenchanted, l am in love with someone else''?
- Are you? - No!
But you keep asking awful questions. lt's like you want me to say yes!
What are you talking about? Of course not. l'd be destroyed.
For Christ's sake, stop torturing her.
Tell her you want out and get it over with.
You're in love with her sister. You didn't do it on purpose.
Be honest. lt's always the best way.
Can l help you?
lf you're suffering over something, will you share it with me?
You know how much l love you.
l ought to have my head examined. l don't deserve you.
(Holly) l want to look good, but l don't want to feel overdressed.
- No, not at all. - Well, how about this?
l really like that. l think that's a pretty colour on you.
Ever think you'd be helping me buy something to wear to the opera?
l think it's great. l can't wait to meet him.
He's married and his wife's in and out of institutions. She's schizophrenic.
Sometimes she's terrific, and then she just breaks down.
He has a sweet daughter. When she goes to college, he's gonna split permanently.
He's paid his dues, but she helped him through architectural school.
You found all this out on one date?
l figured he's dying to open up. lt's so sad.
Now, what should l wear to my audition?
l've got a singing audition for a Broadway musical. Of course, l'll never get it.
- Singing? - Can you believe it?
- Really? - Well, l mean, why not, you know?
- What have l got to lose? - l know, l just... l didn't know you sang.
You think everybody in musicals sings so well?
Just that... they sing.
Well, you know...
- l sing a little. l mean... - Oh, l know. No, l know.
Don't say that, cos confidence is not my strong point.
No, l'm sorry. l didn't mean that.
l think l can fake my way through a song.
- Uh-huh? - Easily.
- Why? You don't think it's realistic? - No, l didn't... That's... No.
l just hate to see you put yourself in a position where you get hurt.
You know how you take every single rejection
as a confirmation that you have no talent or something.
- Yeah, well, maybe l'll get it. - l hope.
Boy, you really know how to cut me down.
What? No, don't be so sensitive. Can't l say anything?
Well, l sing! For Christ's sake, Hannah, you heard me sing!
OK! What happened?
We were having a really nice time, and suddenly everything went to bad feeling.
Nobody but you can do that to me. l don't know why.
Look, everything's going your way.
You're right. l'm happy!
Why must l let my insecurities spoil everything?
\ (Holly) This year's fancies
\ Are passing fancies
\ But sighing sighs
\ Holding hands
\ This my heart
\ l'm old-fashioned
\ And l don't mind it
\ lt's how l want to be
\ As long as you'll agree
\ To stay old-fashioned
\ With me
- Thank you very much. - Thank you.
- lt was very nice. - Terrific.
\ When l'm awfully low
\ When the world is cold
\ l will get a glow
\ Just thinking of you
\ And the way you look tonight
(Holly) You sounded great. You may be surprised.
(April) l'm glad we have a catering job this week. l'm low on money.
Yeah, we have Mr Morris Levine's 80th birthday on Riverside Drive,
or Riverside Memorial Chapel, depending on his health.
Oh, listen. David called me up.
David called me last night. He wants to take me to the opera.
- l didn't know what to say. - You're joking.
No, he called late last night.
l, uh... l'm very surprised.
He wanted to take me to see Rigoletto.
- And you're going? - Well, l didn't know what to say.
First l said no, but then he pressed it.
He said he'd taken you once and he really wanted to invite me.
- But l'm seeing him. - l know, l said that.
But he said it was something he really felt like doing.
l don't know what to say.
lt's just an evening at the opera. Did l do wrong in accepting?
Why do you think that you would like to convert to Catholicism?
Well, because l've gotta have something to believe in, or life is meaningless.
l understand, but why did you make the decision to choose the Catholic faith?
First of all because it's a very beautiful religion
and it's a strong religion. lt's very well structured.
l mean the against-school-prayer, pro-abortion, anti-nuclear wing.
So at the moment you don't believe in God?
No, and l want to. l'm willing to do anything. l'll dye Easter eggs, if it works.
l need some evidence. l gotta have some proof.
lf l can't believe in God, then l don't think life is worth living.
- lt means making a very big leap. - Yes, well, can you help me?
(wailing) Why? Oh, my God!
l don't understand. l thought you'd be happy.
- How can we be happy? - Because l never thought of God before.
- Now l'm giving it some thought. - Catholicism? Why not your own people?
Because l got off to a wrong foot with my own thing. l need a dramatic change.
- You're gonna believe in Jesus Christ? - l know it sounds funny, but l'll try.
- But why? We raised you as a Jew. - Just cos l was born that way...
- l'm old enough to make decisions. - But why Jesus Christ?
- Why shouldn't you become a Buddhist? - That's totally alien to me.
You're old. Aren't you afraid of dying?
- Why should l be afraid? - Cos you won't exist.
- So? - That doesn't terrify you?
Who thinks about such nonsense? When l'm dead, l'll be dead.
- But aren't you frightened? - Of what? l'll be unconscious.
l know, but never to exist again?
- How do you know? - lt doesn't look promising.
Who knows what l'll be? l'll either be unconscious or l won't.
lf not, l'll deal with it then. l'm not gonna worry now.
Mom, come out!
(mother) Of course there's a God, you idiot! You don't believe in God?
lf there's a God, why is there so much evil in the world?
On a simplistic level, why were there Nazis?
- Tell him, Max. - How the hell do l know?
l don't know how the can opener works.
(\ choir singing Latin hymn)
- Hi. - Hi. Where's Holly?
She's auditioning for a TV commercial. She said she'd be late.
- How's she doing? - When she's depressed, she's manic.
l think it was a good idea to invite her to lunch.
l hope you say it was your idea. Every time l try to help, she gets so defensive.
She's just embarrassed in front of you, that's all.
- So how are you? - Me? l'm OK.
- Do you miss Frederick? - No.
Elliot and l can't think of anyone for you to go out with...
How are you? Are you doing OK? How's Frederick? l mean, Elliot?
l guess he's fine. l don't know. He's been kinda moody lately, the last few months.
l don't know what's wrong. He's distant and difficult.
When l try to talk to him, he says everything's fine.
l just leap to the worst conclusion, that he's seeing someone else or...
Oh, no. Everyone thinks things like that.
Well, l just came from an audition which l did not get. So what's new?
- They said l was too offbeat-looking. - What the hell do they know?
- And guess who's there, auditioning. - April?
- Oh, gosh. - You got it. l was very polite.
l maintained my poise. l said hello.
l never trusted April. She has eyes in the back of her head.
She and the architect are now a very definite item, which l still cannot believe,
although it's put an end to the Stanislavski Catering Company.
l have to speak to you, and you're gonna get impatient,
but l have to borrow some more money.
- Well, that's fine... - What l've decided to do is some writing.
l've had it with acting. These meaningless auditions are cattle-calls.
l can't handle another rejection. You know, let's face it here.
l've gotta latch onto something in my life.
Something with a future. l'm not 16 any more. lt's just... crazy.
But l've got an idea for a story, more than one,
and l just need a few months, or a year, even.
l've picked up a lot about dramatic structure from acting class.
That's good. lt just seems to me that... six months or a year,
if you spent it more productively...
- Like what? - Well, l don't know. Um...
Didn't Mom mention there was something at the Museum of Broadcasting?
- That's clerical. - No, it was in the publicity department.
- That can lead to other things. - l knew you'd be discouraging!
l'm not. l'm trying to be helpful.
You don't just say one day ''l'm finished as an actress. Now l'm a writer.''
- You mean, not at my age. - Please, we came to have lunch.
Yeah, OK, right. Forget it. What's to eat?
l just want a salad. You really think l'm a loser, don't you?
- You're being ridiculous. - You are. Stop it.
- You treat me like a loser. - How?
You never have faith in my plans, you undercut my enthusiasm...
Not so, no. l think l've been very supportive.
l try to give you honest, constructive advice.
l'm always happy to help you financially.
l've gone out of my way to introduce you to interesting single men...
- They're all losers. - You're too demanding.
l could tell what you thought of me by the men you fixed me up with.
- That's not true! - l know l'm mediocre.
Would you stop attacking Hannah? She's going through a rough time.
- Why are you so upset? - You've picked on her since she came in.
Leave her alone. l'm suffocating.
What's the matter, Lee? Why are you so sensitive?
Listen. You wanna write, write.
Let's just not talk about it any more.
Take a year, take six months, whatever you want.
Who knows? Maybe you'll be sitting with a good play.
What's the matter with you? You look pale. Are you OK?
Yeah, you know, l'm just...
l've got dizzy all of a sudden and l have a headache. l think we need to eat.
(Elliot) l can't seem to take action. l'm like Hamlet, unable to kill his uncle.
l want Lee, but l can't harm Hannah.
And in no other area am l a procrastinator.
Meanwhile, Lee has no direction. She's taking courses at Columbia.
l try not to call her, but then she calls me,
and then l call, and we try to resist meeting, but once in a while we meet.
Sometimes we argue because l can't break up my marriage.
Sometimes we wind up making love, and we both feel terrible.
But it's my fault.
For all my education, accomplishments and so-called wisdom,
l can't fathom my own heart.
\ Krishna, Krishna
\ Hare, Hare...
Why do you want to be a Hare Krishna?
Well, l'm not saying l want to join, but l know you guys believe in reincarnation.
- What's your religion? - l was born Jewish.
Last winter l tried to become a Catholic, and it didn't work for me.
l studied and l gave it everything,
but Catholicism for me was: die now, pay later.
- l couldn't get with it, and l wanted to. - Are you afraid of dying?
Well, yeah, naturally. Aren't you?
Does reincarnation mean my soul would pass to another human being,
or would l come back as a moose or an aardvark or something?
Take our literature, read it over and think about it.
- OK. Thank you very much. - You're welcome. Hare Krishna.
Who are you kidding? You're gonna be a Krishna?
You're gonna shave your head and put on robes and dance around at airports?
You'll look like Jerry Lewis.
God, l'm so depressed.
(Lee) The nights are really getting cooler.
Summer went so quickly. Soon it'll be fall.
My literature professor really likes me.
lt was fun being out with him last night.
Funny, l feel like l'm betraying Elliot, but that's ridiculous.
Why shouldn't l see Doug? Elliot's not free.
Just go one step at a time.
Let's see what the next few months bring.
Listen, you'll be happy to know that your money has not gone completely to waste.
No, l have an actual first rough draft of something l wrote.
l showed it to Lee and she gave me some good pointers.
Listen, l'm pretty near where you live. Could l just drop it off?
When you have some time, read it, and we'll talk at Thanksgiving.
OK? All right. Oh, wait, listen.
l think Lee met an interesting guy at Columbia. He sounds really nice.
Yeah, OK, all right. Well, we'll talk at Thanksgiving. Bye-bye.
Now, here's a song that Norma sang
on that trip we made up to the show in Buffalo.
And, oh, was she beautiful that night!
- Come on! - Oh, yes, you were, dear.
Don't you remember that night? She was so beautiful
that when men saw her walking along the street,
they'd drive their cars right up on the sidewalk.
- That right, honey? - A slight exaggeration.
But only slight.
(\ piano playing)
You've been very cold to me tonight.
ls something wrong?
Not here. There are too many people around.
l think Lee is really serious about her new boyfriend. He sounds really nice.
l'm so happy for her. l think she's in love.
- Hey, what's the matter? - l'm real upset about what you wrote.
- My script? - lt's obviously based on Elliot and me.
- Oh, so loosely. - No, not loosely. Real specifically!
ls that how you see us?
Can l not accept gestures and feelings from people? Do l put people off?
- lt's a made-up story. - No, it's real exact!
The situations, dialogue, everything.
lt's full of intimate details between Elliot and me,
which l don't see how you could even possibly know about!
A conversation we once had about adoption?
Lee mentioned that to me, so obviously you discussed it with her.
l took the essence and l blew it up into drama.
How could Lee know about these things? l don't tell her everything.
Wow. l guess l hit a nerve.
You make it sound like l have no needs. You think l'm too self-sufficient?
Hannah, that's not what l meant. You know?
Everybody relies on you for so much. You're so giving!
lt's no criticism. We love you, we're grateful.
You're grateful but you resent me.
Wow. l don't wanna have this conversation. l didn't do anything wrong.
You told me yourself you and Elliot were having problems.
We were, but they're my business.
l don't see how you could know it in such detail!
How does Lee know about these things? How? They're private!
- Why don't you share them with us? - l don't want to bother everyone.
That's the point. l'd like to be bothered.
How could you know about these things? Has Elliot been talking to you?
No, he hasn't. lf l offended you, l'm sorry.
lt's over, Elliot. l don't know how to be any clearer.
- l know l deserve it... - l'm just as much at fault.
- l have such feelings for you... - l've got to be honest with you.
l've met someone else.
- What do you mean? - l've met someone else.
- l told you l wouldn't wait for ever. - lt hasn't been for ever.
lt's been nearly a year and you're still married to my sister,
which l now realise is fine. You're much more in love with her than you know.
- But we made so many plans. - And in a way you led me on.
l truly believed you were unhappy with Hannah.
Otherwise l would never have been drawn in.
l was very weak. So were you. Now l've met someone...
- Dinner soon? - About 1 5 minutes.
- But you're in love overnight. - l care a great deal about him, yes.
- Lee... - lt's over. Elliot, l mean it. lt's over.
Sweetheart, l loved your script. l thought it was so clever.
You're my mother. Not everybody's gonna be such a sucker.
l particularly liked the character of the mother,
just a boozy old flirt with a filthy mouth.
- l'm so proud! - Oh, Mom, thanks.
Here's a toast to Thanksgiving, all right?
Are we supposed to have beer? Yes, let me hear it!
How's that, Fletcher?
Doll, to Thanksgiving. Here's a little toast, doll. Come on, bottoms up!
Have you been talking to Holly or Lee about us, about our personal life?
(Elliot) Me? Of course not.
Holly wrote things about us that are so personal, they must have come from you.
l've got a headache and l don't like being accused!
l'm not accusing, l'm asking. Do you find me too giving, too competent?
- Too disgustingly perfect or something? - No.
What is it? What's come between us? How have l alienated you?
- Hannah, my head is throbbing. - You never wanna talk about it.
Every time l bring it up, you change the subject. What is it?
We're communicating less, you sleep with me less...
Hannah, l am very mixed up! Now, please!
Do you talk to Holly or Lee behind my back? Do you?
You must. They seem to know so much about us.
Maybe l've asked advice once or twice, or made a joke.
Do you talk to Holly, or Lee, or what? Do you phone them?
Leave me alone, can you?!
Jesus, l've told you. l need someone l can matter to!
You matter to me, completely.
lt's hard to be around someone who gives so much and needs so little in return.
l have enormous needs.
Well, l can't see them, and neither can Lee or Holly!
(Hannah) lt's so pitch black tonight.
l feel lost.
(Elliot) You're not lost.
l love you so much.
l don't know if you remember me, but we had the worst night of my life together.
- l remember you. - Yes, you do recall?
l was walking past and l just saw you and l thought l'd come in.
- We didn't hit it off. - We did all but exchange gunshots.
- How are you? - Good. You look wonderful.
- Oh, no. - Yeah? No, you do.
lt was a terrible evening. Remember slamming the cab door in my face?
You came dangerously close to emasculating my nose
- in a really horrible way. - That was a long time ago.
- People change. - l hope you've changed.
- l hope you have too. - l hope so, for your sake.
Your personality left something to be desired, namely a personality.
So how are you? What are you doin'?
Oh, nothing much. Just some stuff. Little of this, little of that.
Was that an embarrassing question? Are you out of work or something?
- No, well, l've been trying to write. - Have you? That's interesting.
- What kind of stuff? - Oh...
- You're not interested in this. - No, you can tell me. l am.
Millions must say to you ''l've written something.''
- Nobody ever said it. This is it. - Really?
- Would you be willing to read something? - Yes, if it would mean anything to you.
l don't know why it would. You've always hated my taste in the past.
- No, l haven't! - You have.
l think it might make a great television script, and you're so active in television.
Not any more. l haven't been in television for a year.
No, l may have to get back into it cos my accountant says l'm running out of cash.
But no, l sort of dropped out for a year, which is a long, dull story.
- You're OK, though? - Yes, l'm fine. How are you?
- l'm fine. - What about your script?
l'd love it if you'd read it cos l really would value your opinion.
But you have to remember while you're reading and you're cursing my name
that this is my first script. Well, it's not my first.
That was about Hannah and her husband, but Hannah read it.
She got really angry and l felt badly.
- l can't imagine what you wrote. - lt wasn't anything bad, but l don't know...
So l threw it out, but l have this other one.
Well, you know, if you want me to, l would read it.
l don't know... Could l come over tomorrow and read it to you?
Come over tomorrow and read it to me? You must be joking!
l've been doing all my own reading since l was 40.
l think it's lucky l ran into you. Maybe.
What about me? l should have kept going.
l have a nagging sensation that l should have kept walking
and not begun this conversation.
(Holly) ''We go through life playing the hand we're dealt.''
''Craig: And what hand were you dealt?''
''Emily: l'm two high pair, maybe even aces up.''
''The problem is, you've got three deuces.''
That's the end.
No, you can tell me straight. lt's OK. Just tell me what you think.
l was not in the mood to listen to this thing now.
l don't know what to say. l'm moved and l laughed and l...
l was on the edge of my seat. lt's wonderful.
l'm totally stunned. This is not an insult.
l'm amazed that you can... l just thought it was great.
- Really? - Yes. l was absolutely...
What made you think of that climax scene,
where the architect is walking home with his actress girlfriend
and the schizophrenic ex-wife jumps out and stabs him to death?
- lt just came to me one day. - lt was just fabulous.
Gosh, you really think l can write?
There's one or two things l would do differently myself,
but who cares? lt was fabulous.
l mean lt. l'm so impressed! l am. You've made my day.
lt was just great. l was set to be bored stiff.
- Would you like to have lunch? - l would love to talk about the script.
- l think we could do something with it. - OK.
And l'd like to hear what made you suddenly decide to drop out of life.
- Who cares? - No, l care.
You used to be so ambitious and...
God, you really liked it?!
Gosh, you really went through a crisis, you know that? How did you get over it?
When l ran into you, you seemed just perfectly fine. You seem fine now.
Well, l'll tell you. One day, about a month ago, l really hit bottom.
ljust felt that in a Godless universe, l didn't want to go on living.
Now, l happen to own this rifle, which l loaded and pressed to my forehead,
and l remember thinking.; l'm gonna kill myself.
Then l thought.; what ifl'm wrong?
What ifthere is a God? After all, nobody really knows that.
But then l thought.; no, maybe is not good enough.
l want certainty or nothing.
And l remember very clearly the clock was ticking
and l was sitting there, frozen, with the gun to my head,
debating whether to shoot.
All ofa sudden, the gun went off. l had been so tense, l'd squeezed the trigger.
But l was perspiring so much, the gun had slid off my forehead and missed me.
- (gunshot) - Neighbours were pounding on the door
and, l don't know, the whole scene wasjust pandemonium.
And l ran to the door, l didn't know what to say. l was embarrassed and confused.
My mind was racing a mile a minute, and ljust knew one thing.
l had to get out of that house, just get out in the fresh air and clear my head.
And l remember very clearly l walked the streets.
l didn't know what was going through my mind. lt all seemed so violent and unreal.
And l wandered for a long time on the Upper West Side.
lt must have been hours. My feet hurt and my head was pounding. l had to sit down.
l went into a movie house. l didn't know what was playing. ljust needed a moment
to gather my thoughts and be logical
and put the world back into rational perspective.
(\ playing a tune)
And l went upstairs to the balcony and l sat down.
The movie was a film that l'd seen many times in my life since l was a kid,
and l always loved it.
And l'm watching these people up on the screen
and l started getting hooked on the film.
And l started to feel.; how can you even think of killing yourself?. lsn't that stupid?
Look at all the people on the screen.
They're real funny, and what ifthe worst is true?
What ifthere's no God and you only go around once and that's it?
Don't you want to be part of the experience?
What the hell? lt's not all a drag.
l'm thinking to myself.; l should stop ruining my life,
searching for answers l'm never gonna get, andjust enjoy it while it lasts.
And after, who knows? Maybe there is something. Nobody really knows.
l know ''maybe'' is a slim reed to hang your life on, but it's the best we have.
Then l started to sit back and l actually began to enjoy myself.
\ Oh, Freedonia
\ Oh, don't you cry for me
\ Cos l'm coming round the mountain
Look, there's something that's been bothering me for a long time.
l just thought l'd tell you what it was and just sort of clear the deck here.
l've always regretted the way l behaved that evening we went out.
- l just thought l'd tell you that... - Don't be silly. Don't be ridiculous.
l was the... You know, it was my fault.
So you wanna go out to dinner again? Do you have any interest in that?
- Sure. - Are you free this evening?
l want ice! Who's got some?
Oh, there it is.
Hey, where's Holly? She's late.
Did you read Holly's last thing? She's really developed.
She really writes good dialogue.
Hannah, can l say you're going to play Desdemona?
- Mom, it's only television. - But it's public television.
To me, Shakespeare doesn't get any greater than Othello.
- You with some big, black stud. l love it! - Oh, honey!
(Elliot) Oh, Lee. You are something.
You look very beautiful. Marriage agrees with you.
Everything that happened between us seems more and more hazy.
l acted like such a fool. l don't know what came over me.
The complete conviction that l couldn't live without you.
What l put us both through!
And Hannah, who, as you once said, l love much more than l realised.
Hi! Happy Thanksgiving!
- Hi, Daisy. l didn't miss dinner, did l? - No.
Hi, Marge. Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving, Amy.
(\ piano playing ''lsn't lt Romantic'')
- Don't be nervous. lt's your husband. - Hi.
- Hi. How are you doing? - OK.
- When did you get here? - Just a few minutes ago.
- You look so beautiful. - Thanks.
l was talking to your father before. l was telling him that it's ironic.
l used to always have Thanksgiving with Hannah.
l never thought that l could love anybody else.
And here it is, years later, and l'm married to you, and completely in love with you.
The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle.
lt would make a great story, l think. A guy marries one sister and it doesn't work out.
Then, years later, he winds up married to the other sister.
l don't know how you're gonna top that.
- Mickey? - What?
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