Holy Smoke CD1
We said we'd do something l wanted to do.
- We did. Camel riding. - l hated camel riding.
l really want to do some real stuff.
What do you mean real stuff? lt's for losers! Ruth?
OK... We'll miss the Rajasthani buffet!
ls she out of money?
No, it's quite simple. l have to tell you the truth.
For the sake of Ruth's and our old friendship.
Oh, what's that taken on?
That's very exotic. Hmm?
- On my Olympus. - That's interesting.
Mine's a Minolta. ls yours an auto flash job?
What am l looking at here, Prue?
Who are these people in the photo?
My God, l didn't realise. Gilbert, it's Ruth.
Yeah, l can see that now. She's wearing the national costume.
l'd never have recognised her.
ls something wrong?
Tell me, l want to know.
We were just like everyone else travelling in lndia.
We wanted to visit a live guru.
'We weren't serious about it.
'She thought it would be a good laugh.
'lt was so scary. Some sort of freaky hypnotism happened.
'l think they were on drugs.
'She even burnt her airline ticket in front of me.
'That's when l asked her, ''ls it true what they said?
'''That Baba might marry you?'''
No, thank you, mate. No, thank you. No, mate. Thank you.
No, no. Say no, Ruth! Say no! Say no, Ruth. Stop him!
Ruthy, stop him!
No, no, Ruthy! Stop! Please, no! Say no!
Ruthy! Ruthy! Somebody help!
This is serious. Tim, please. lt's serious.
Come on. We were waiting for you.
OK, seriously, what's happening?
- Who's he? - The top man on the subject.
He's been very helpful.
Hi, Tim. lsn't it terrible?
Don't worry, Miriam's gonna get her back. She's going to lndia.
- Are you? - lf l need to.
l'm determined to fight.
Stop Robbie drinking too much.
That's right, Mom, we'll fight.
Don't. Don't come here and mock. l'm close to the edge, Tim.
Sophie, sterilised at 23 to focus on her spiritual growth
wanted a reversal at 34.
lt can't be done.
- So how do we get her back? - Lure... You lure her.
Couldn't we contact the embassy to send her home?
No, you can't.
lf she were under 18, yes, under the lnternational Convention.
You could only declare her mentally incompetent.
That's almost impossible to do.
We often steal. These cults use coercive methods.
Steal 'em. Turn the deception around.
They make up their little stories, we make up ours.
But we get her back.
The next step is the difficult one.
You'll have captured your daughter's body,
but not her mind.
So what do we do?
We hire the man l believe to be
the number one exit counsellor in America.
For legal reasons, it's best if he's in and out. Untraceable.
- Could it be dangerous? - Yeah, it's delicate.
The mind's a damn mystery. Why do people believe in God?
Why do people believe they're in love?
Why do l tell myself every day, ''You're fat, mate.
''Today l won't eat cake, butter or bread'',
and by lunch l've done the lot?
So what did Mr Hot Dog American cost?
$10,000 Australian, plus expenses.
Shit! And what's wrong with Number Two? What did he cost?
Forget it, Gilly. We're doing it. She's our golden girl.
My plane's leaving in three hours, everybody.
Delhi's hot. 95 to 105 degrees.
- Oh, God! - What if she doesn't come back?
When she knows you're dying, she'll come.
What's bitten his old bum?
He doesn't like pretending to die.
Do you speak English?
Do you know where that is? That restaurant? Shiva's Restaurant?
lt's a...fair way, l suppose, is it?
'Ah, goodness, this is busy, isn't it?'
Give me your money, please? Give me a rupee, please?
l'm sorry, l'm from Australia. l haven't got any, em...
any lndian money.
Are you sure this is it?
Oh, where's your sari?
- You've got this on. - l was looking for a sari.
Oh, you're so hot!
The restaurant's fake holy man. This is my friend Rahi.
- Who? - Rahi.
lt's my Sanyasin name. Hello, Miriam.
You need a drink. Have you ever tried a lassi?
- A who? - A lassi. lt's a yoghurt drink.
ls it from a bottle?
Mum, it's clean here.
Yes, only a few dozen flies.
ls there a toilet or a hole here?
lt's a hole.
''All your father and l want...'' Oh, no...
Calmie, calm... Calmie, calm.
Mum, l've got no idea what Prue told you.
She got really scared.
Something amazing happened to me.
So powerful and so gentle.
lt's...hard for me to describe.
You've got to experience Baba, Mum.
When he looks at you,
all your pretensions and fears just vanish.
Suddenly, it's so obvious how to live your life.
That it's really possible to be happy...
and truthful and do good.
How would you feel if l were to become enlightened?
Come to a meeting tonight. lt's a beautiful opportunity,
Baba's going to be taking questions.
Just come and see.
He is so full of love.
Your father and l are pleased you've found fulfilment.
How is Dad?
Like l wrote to you, he is very ill.
He had a stroke at Bill and Puss's farm and won't be moved.
ls he going to die?
Yes, he could. He wants to see you.
He's paid for your ticket home.
See? l cry. l couldn't cry before.
l didn't know that.
Maybe next time.
- What do you mean next time? - You know, next time.
ln another life.
- Oh, never mind. - He's dying, Ruth.
- ls he scared? - Of course he is.
He wants to see you. We've got a ticket for you.
lt's really the timing. lsn't it, Nazni?
Who is Nazni?
lt's Ruth. That's her apprentice name.
Ruth, can you speak for you?
Would you mind calling me Nazni. lt's my name now.
They only initiate new Sanyisans once a year...
Fine, fine! You're doing just as you should.
You're pleasing yourself which is exactly what we taught you.
Please yourself. Don't let our deaths inconvenience you.
You've got great hair.
Oh, goodness. That's really kind of you.
No, it's fantastic.
- She's a bit nervous. - Of course.
- How's the hair? Any scent? - Ah, it's good.
'The kitchen will be open for supper
'after the evening programme...'
- Please. - l'm sorry, no.
l can't be sniffed. l'm sick, l want to leave.
- Don't be... - l feel like an animal.
- You'll be fine, just... - No, NO! Don't touch me!
- Mum. - No!
- Mum. Don't be silly. Mum! - Excuse me.
Mum, stop it. You're embarrassing me!
- No! - MUM!
l can't breathe!
My spray! My spray!
No! No drink! No drink!
You'll be OK, madam.
Oh, thank God it's QANTAS.
We're here, it's fine.
- Hello! - Oh, my God!
Why is Miriam freaked out?
She thinks l'm going to live in lndia,
marry Buba and commit group suicide.
She and Dad hate lndians. You know? Dark people
They're just the main points.
Well...? Are you going to marry him?
- l wish. - You wish?!
Well, yeah. He's an absolute love.
There's, um... just three problems.
He's not cute, Ruth. Look at him. He's like, old.
lt's about love. lt's not that literal. Marriage is symbolic.
He's marrying everyone.
Sydney, Australia. Case 190.
Fabio's an extra body if needs be, and Robbie, too.
- Hi, there. - Yep, whatever's necessary.
Mr Waters, my name's Yvonne, with a 'Y'. l'm Robert's wife.
lt's such a relief you've arrived.
We've all been so worried.
l'm here to be of assistance to you. l'm on supplies.
ls it hard to get polite help in America?
- Polite? - People with lovely manners.
Don't look at Robbie. He hasn't got any.
Where's the guy with the exiting experience?
Ah...Colin, where's he?
He's had a family misfortune. His mother died.
Oh, God, Stan! Was it expected?
Excuse me. This is not looking good, Stan. l needed Colin.
l can't do this work without a properly experienced assistant.
- Those are the rules. - That's where Robbie comes in.
Stan, c'mere a moment.
l'm a little aggravated. l could've got my Carol to come,
and she is good.
lnstead, you've given me two fruitcakes -
a ponytail and a clown!
Now, exiting is a... precision exercise.
l'm taking a leap with her into the sky.
Everything's at risk.
And l need her parachute to open.
l need mine to open.
Now, which of these men would you trust to pack your chute?
Ah...Fabio? l think he'd do a neat job.
He'd do a neat job with his toilet bag.
lf he hasn't packed one before, would you trust him?
Hey! Don't splash! No, no, no, no!
- Yvonne! Yvonne! - What?
OK, cop you later. That was Tim, my older brother.
He's a gay man. They've arrived.
She's visited Dad once, but she's restless.
So, where to from here?
l'll take a look, then we'll talk.
She's not that easy to chat to.
This isn't a chat. This is a conversation that takes 3 days.
lt's a very intuitive thing, very concentrated.
So, what is it that you do?
l work a basic three-step system,
where l steer the subject toward a breakthrough -
breakdown, whatever you prefer to call it.
Step one - isolate her, get her attention and respect.
When she's listening, l push. The heat goes on.
- The heat? - lt's very traumatic for her,
which it's supposed to be.
- You want some? lt's hot. - No, thank you.
Step two - l remove all her props,
her books, her sari, if she wears one.
- ls she wearing one? - Yeah.
Actually, she looks quite feminine for a change. What?!
Finally, the clouds of her unreason burst -
there's tears, sobs, hugs with the family and...
it's over for me.
But, just beginning for you.
l've successfully exited 189 subjects,
with a recidivist rate of 3.5%.
There's no one in the US or UK who can match those statistics.
l've rejected three cases when l've judged the subject
too psychologically unstable.
Do you have a wife or lady friend, Mr Waters?
Why do you ask?
l bet she wouldn't stand a chance.
What do you mean?
You're very persuasive.
l imagine you could persuade any woman to do anything.
- Hi, Mummy. - Hi, baby.
- Hi, Aunt Puss. - Good morning, early bird.
Where are the boys?
Back at the motel, cuddled up asleep.
l thought l'd just drive out and say bye to Dad.
He's sleeping, Ruth, l think he should be left.
Don't worry. l'll sneak in. l won't wake him.
Wait, Ruth. We'll come, too.
OK, race you.
Om mani padme om...
Dad, you're up!
My God, that's great! That's great!
What's the matter?
What's going on? You're not sick at all, are you?
We're all sick from worrying about you, Ruth.
There's someone visiting we want you to talk to.
You're bullshitting me.
We want to be sure you're on the right track.
Look, you'll bloody well stay here... Get this sheet...!
How dare you?!
- Hey! Hey! - Liar! You lied to me.
l fucking came home! Made me think you were dying. You liar!
- We did it cos we love you. - Yeah, we love you.
You know we love you.
Yeah, Ruth. We all love you.
We love you, sis.
- Where's Mum? - Give it time.
- l'll take you to him. - lt's for your own good.
No, thanks. Where's Mum?
You want your mummy now. Not so tough, eh?
You've met your match in him, girlie. He'll sort you out.
He's a great guy, sis. He's experienced in religion and all.
Three days, just listen to him.
Get round her, get round her.
You fucking lying shit! You lying shit! l hate you!
- Let go. Let go. - Behave yourself.
Timmy, let me talk to you and Mum, please.
Tim, please, Tim.
Please! Please, Timmy, please!
'Please! Please! Timmy!'
Come on, walk over.
'He's not there?
'No other back-ups, nobody else?'
Phone's out of range. lt doesn't work.
Look at this.
lt's a gift, see? She's coming towards me.
We're on step one. This could be over in 12 hours.
- What about your lady friend? - l need someone now.
But there isn't anyone.
l've tried the Rabbi, l've left several messages, nothing.
- What do we do? Let her go? - Yeah.
Three little steps, Stan. But you don't want to fall.
'Well, you're the expert.'
l want to talk to my mother.
You're in. So, are you gonna do it?
Because l think you've been manipulated...
maybe even drugged.
No... No, Mum.
Mum, l'm the only one of my friends who doesn't do drugs.
l'm sorry, Ruth, that's what l believe.
l believe you're manipulating me right now.
Mum, Mum, Mum... why are you here?
To save you.
l mean on Earth. Why are you here? What's the point of life?
- This is a trick. - No, Mum.
lt's a real question. Why are you here? Did you ever consider?
Yes, l think about a lot of things.
l think about the... magnetic draw of the planets,
their ever-shifting relationship,
the healing power of crystals...
Mum and Dad have spent a fortune on this guy.
- He has a very good reputation. - According to who?
According to who?
Why don't you do the three days?
According to who? Excuse me, according to who?
OK, a friend, a doctor, a psychiatrist...
Come on, big jump. Coming! Ooh!
Oh! That was good.
What do you believe in?
- Sex? - Hey, l'm an anarchist.
My parents subscribe to their magazine.
The Lord's Prayer is muttered by traumatised, paranoid worms,
grovelling for a meagre existence.
- Traumatised worms? - Traumatised paranoid worms.
What's happening. Have they finished?
No. The good news is she's shaken on it.
She'll do the three days.
He finally promised her a ticket back to lndia. Excuse me.
He wants to leave as soon as possible.
Where are they going?
He should have told me about it. l'm supposed to be security.
A halfway hut. Says he can't work anywhere near the family.
We're lucky to have him in the circumstances.
His personal assistant's coming from America. She's experienced.
l'm not thinking costs. We HAVE to do it.
But what about the security operation?
What about Fabio? Do we send him home?
- Well done, dear. - Fuck off all of you.
Madam, watch yourself with your mother.
Hey, come on, Ruth.
You can talk, you hypocrite. Where's your little love bomb?
- l don't know what you mean. - Don't engage her.
Yes, you do. Where's my half-sister, Dad?
Your secretary's secret little love bomb?
What love bomb?
lf this cure works, l'll be as fucked a liar as you.
Keep up with her. Go.
- To the rescue! - lt's my go.
'Shoes, please, Ruth.'
'Day one - lsolate her. Get her attention.
'Win her respect.
'l feel for these kids, every one of them.
'They're lost and they don't know it yet.'
This is, um... a complete waste of time.
You're never gonna break me.
That's fine. l didn't expect it to be easy.
You're a young, intelligent lady with strong convictions.
lt would be disappointing if it were too quick.
l can't even listen to someone like you, who dyes their hair.
- l've made up my mind. - You have?
Yes, that's right.
And how may l ask, did that happen?
- What? - How did you do it?
Did you make your mind hard and solid like a brick...
always the same, rain or shine, nothing gets through?
lf l say to you ''don't think of pink butterflies'',
you don't, right? Or do you?
l'm not thinking of pink butterflies.
You just mentioned them.
You see, the mind is a rebel, not a servant.
l'm not the one who will break you. Your own mind will.
''lt will seek the truth and the truth will set you free.''
John Vlll, 32.
lt's already heard the truth.
The truth about your saintdom? Baba and Mrs Baba.
Not everything's a posture. Not everything's a joke.
You're right. lt's not a joke. We're talking about your soul.
Have you thought about the damage
that could be done to your soul, to your very centre...
if you hand it over to someone else?
To the wrong someone else?
''l feel within me that spark,
''that atom emanation of the divine spirit.'' Giuseppe Verdi.
The soul is the match.
The flame that can light your path.
l wanna ask you a question.
What in your opinion is the most important task of a human life?
ls this multiple choice?
lt's an oratory technique. Have you heard of Socrates?
''The soul takes nothing to the other world
''but her education and culture.''
So, let's get to the facts.
What are you doing with your soul?
What does Chidaatma Baba teach you?
What's the point of my telling you?
You already have an opinion.
l wanna know what you know.
Something has touched you, hasn't it?
To find out that, you'd have to look into my heart.
Way beyond something you can read in a book and quote.
lt is. lt is. lt is. That's his teaching.
And that's what he said?
His words? lt is.
''He alone attains unto it who exclaims 'lt is! lt is!'
''Thus may it be perceived and apprehended in its essence.''
The Upanishad, Ruth. An ancient Hindu text.
Feel with your heart, but check your facts.
l want my shoes back.
No. You agreed to stay and l'm going to make it easy for you.
You can't stand the fact that l've got faith, can you?
Cos you're so frightened and dried up.
But feeling...just trusting your heart...is beyond you.
l get strength like...like you can't imagine from my choice.
That's what we're here to examine -
the meaning of the word ''choice'' and whether you had one or not.
'l need clothes for Ruth.'
- Yes. - 'Meet me at the yards?'
OK, but...two changes? Dresses or pants?
- 'You decide.' - Dresses.
- Have you got the clothes? - Yeah, clothes and the coffee.
So, has she started talking yet?
She's lucky to have you to talk to.
l've got problems, too, you know?
Robbie thinks l've been having an affair.
- Yeah, he found my letters... - So, you are?
Robbie's so mad.
He just wants to beat the guy up.
He has no idea who it is, and he'll never ever guess.
Shall l tell you?
l wrote them... and they're so beautiful.
And they're so romantic.
You wrote the letters?
l don't have sex with Robbie. l have sex with film stars.
l cut out their picture and l stick them on my bedside drawer.
When we make love,
l pretend it's Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise.
- l like Sly, too. Do you? - Mmm.
ln the dark...
'..l imagine Robbie's arms and legs are theirs.'
Oh, that's lovely, Robbie. Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Oh, Tom, Tom! Oh, God, Matt! Matt!
'Sometimes l get a little confused
'because l can't remember who it is...'
..who is making love to me.
But...but l think that Yvonne is cheap!
Take it easy.
Breathe...into the diaphragm.
- Yeah. - Keep breathing.
l mean, who's going to want me
when they know how many guys l've slept with?
- Keep breathing. - Yes, thank you, the breathing.
Do you have a web site?
'Day Two - A painful day for the client.
'Remove her props, upset her and provoke her.
'So l put the sari up the tree. No more Mr Nice Guy.'
l want my clothes back.
l thought l'd have to wait the longest time
for the real you to break through.
You think a sari is going to change that?
Ten hundred saris won't hide that.
And you'll only succeed in tying a big knot around yourself.
Hello? Would you share your thoughts, please?
l was just meditating on the difference between you and Baba.
He wears a dress.
He lives the way he teaches.
And what specifically has he taught you?
To do good. To be a good person!
And how is that manifesting itself?
Are you out there doing good deeds, paying taxes?
- You're a cynic. - Yes.
Yes, l am a cynic. Because l investigate crap.
What about the crap in you, Ruth?
Did you take that to the guru?
You're a shit. You don't care about me!
You don't even know me.
l didn't go to Baba to get my fucked-upness fixed.
You'd be the first.
So l hoped it would help me grow!
- l know l'm not perfect. - Good, Ruth.
So what do you believe in, then?
Why do you want to know?
Because l'm just curious to know what you worked out.
So you can follow me? Sorry, honey, that's not my ticket.
l told you don't ever touch me. My body is mine...Honey
You're a prick!
- You'd be better off crying. - FUCK YOU!
l don't want to disempower you.
lf you want disempowerment go back to lndia!
See how they treat women there!
Or didn't you notice those little ultrasounds blipping,
so people say, ''Oh, God, a girl,''
and flush her out and abort her.
- Excuse me?
They're more honest in their hatred of women!
l don't hate women. l love ladies.
''Ladies'' You wouldn't know any.
l bet you date little Barbie dolls.
''Oh, you're so brainy, you're so big!
''Can l suck your dick?''
Can l be alone now?
So, was it the ultimate revenge?
Taking your beauty off to an ashram?
Beauty has its own price. You wouldn't know.
lt attracts the shit.
l've dated some beautiful ladies. My ex-wife was a model.
A bit paranoid - always going on about fat people.
She looked good, though.
- Excuse me? - ''She looked good, though.''
Yes, well, it didn't work that well.
There was a kind of a...hostility between us.
She was always mixing about - very flirty with the friends -
suggesting open marriage, which we...did.
We both slept around. Um...l slept around.
Then we went to lndia. There were six of us.
Next thing, she's off with my best friend.
l punched him out... left the bus and wanted to die.
That's when l met Singh, the so-called God.
'l shook all over. l totally... relinquished myself.'
lf l saw any crap, l put it down to a test.
You know, Singh was testing me.
Then one starred day...
He took me to his rooms and hugged me.
l thought, ''l'm special, he's chosen me.'' Very happy.
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Hitokiri Tenchu 1969 CD1
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Hole in the Head A
Hollow The (2004)
Hollywood Ending CD1
Hollywood Ending CD2
Hollywood Homicide 2003 CD1
Hollywood Homicide 2003 CD2
Holy Matrimony (1994)
Holy Smoke CD1
Holy Smoke CD2
Home Alone 1990
Home Alone 2 - Lost in New York
Home Alone 3
Home Alone 4
Home At The End Of The World A
Home On The Range
Home from the Sea
Homem Que Copiava O 2003 CD1
Homem Que Copiava O 2003 CD2
Homme-orchestre L (Serge Korber 1970)
Homolka a Tobolka
Honeymoon Killers The
Hororr hotline (2001)
Horse Whisperer The CD1
Horse Whisperer The CD2
Horseman on the Roof The
Horses Mouth The
Hostile Waters 1997
Hot Chick The
Hot Wheels World Race CD1
Hot Wheels World Race CD2
Hound of Baskervilles The
Hour of the Wolf
House By The Cemetary The
House Of The Spirits CD1
House Of The Spirits CD2
House With The Windows That Laugh
House of 1000 Corpses
House of Frankenstein
House of Games (1987)
House of Mirth The
House of Sand and Fog 2003 CD1
House of Sand and Fog 2003 CD2
House of flying daggers
House of the Dead
House of the Flying Daggers
How Green Was My Valley
How The West Was Won 1962 CD1
How The West Was Won 1962 CD2
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
How to Beat the High Cost of Living
How to Keep My Love 2004
How to Murder Your Wife 1965
How to Steal a Million CD1
How to Steal a Million CD2
How to deal
Hratky s certem
Hudsucker Proxy The
Hulk The - Special Edition
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Hum Kaun Hai
Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam
Human Beast The CD1
Human Beast The CD2
Hunchback of Notre Dame II The
Hunchback of Notre Dame The
Hundtricker the movie
Hunger The 1983
Hunt For Red October CD1
Hunt For Red October CD2
Huozhe (Lifetimes) CD1
Huozhe (Lifetimes) CD2
Hurricane The CD1
Hurricane The CD2
Hypnosis (Saimin 1999)
Hypnotic Doctor Sleep
Hypnotist The 1999
Hypo-Chondri-Cat The (1950)