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Homme-orchestre L (Serge Korber 1970)

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How can you dare to be first! I want to be first!
Me, too.
I said, I also want to be first.
But Monsieur, I am in my street.
I have the right to be first in my street|You are not in your street, are you?
So go to your street where you can be first.
You are right.
This way we both can be first!
And you don't move.|Not before I have left!
Much later!
Be quiet!|We start from the beginning...
No, it's finished!
But we've been working on that for more than a month...|-I don't care.|-Ok. You can leave...
No! Stay!
Hello Oncle. How are you?
No time! What am I thinking? Quick!Telepathy!
But it is wonderfull what you are thinking...
Do you hear what I am thinking?|Listen!
Look at me! Chatterboxes...
Take your Positions!|To your positions, you two!
And keep the mouth shut!
Listen to me Girls...
Listen to me Girls!
Listen to me Girls!!
And keep the mouth shut!
That wasn't bad. You do that once again immedeately.|5,6,7!
That was nice...There's more power in it.|Ok, once again. And give all you have...Allez-Hop 5,6,7!
That was good! That was very good.
You are not too tired? not too much?|You can have a break...
But before we do that once again...|the last time.hop! 5,6,7
But Mr.Evans, one month before the tournee this is a catastrophe!|We have to replace her immedeately.
Tell me you guys. You have cut off my head...It's not the time, yet...
That's Enough!
Well,good,.. Next one!|Thank you.
Well, Bad.That was bad. Er, well, not bad.|...That wasn't bad...
What do you think about that?
And You?|-No, I think he's right.
Well, that wasn't bad.|Not bad at all...That was very good.
Next one, please.
What is That!!!! I don't want her! I don't want her!|Leave! Leave!
Who invited this one? Who invited this one?
What's her name?|-What?
What is your name?
Write it down!
Now do that once again.
Did you see her dance?|Did you see how she moved?
Oh, you did not see it...I saw it! In here!|It happened in here. Telepathy!
That wasn't bad. Where did you use to work before?
In Rome. With Andrejew.
Oh lala. And after that?|-In Madrid, with Barabanow.
Oh the poor old. He's still alive?|And after that?
In London. With Nevelewski.|-Nevelewski? He's also still alive...
Well, that's all too classic, but you've got the job.
But be carefull! Here we don't have men, boyfriends|marriages or anything like that!
This is like a cloister. You raplace another girl who wanted to get married and had to leave!
Did you get that?|-Yes, Monsieur!
Good. And now let's start working.
Now girls, listen carefully. If a man approaches you, no talk, no discussion. Counterblow!
Philipe, demonstration please!
Look at me,Hendrika. I am you. And Philipe is the man who wants to...|...which is not allowed
Did you see? Now you, Hendrika.|Get up, Philipe!
That's even better! Go...
Very good.
Well that's...Get up!
Not this way. Here...|Take off your glasses.
fifty twohundred| Very good.
fifty onehundred
fourtyeight|-That's good...
fiftytwo fivehundred
Faster! That's how to get rid of the fat.
What's going on? I can't hear anything.|What's wrong?
The balance doesn't work?|-...Yes, it does...
How much is it then?|-...fourtyfive!
Very good.
No, that's not necessary...
My dear Francoise. Discipline is everything, isn't it?|Merci
A little bit of carrot, a little tomato...
Don't sleep here! Your face will stay like that.|Your Plate, please...that's enough
Ah, Leila...What's wrong?
Where is the rice?
A little bit of quince-jelly...
It's nothing, put on your glasses...give me your plate.
Don't look at it, you will taste it!
Your plate.|No, you don't need rice!
Mr.Evans. Are you satisfied with me?
I'm very satisfied with you...
Do I dance better now?|-Much better, Hendrika.
With you I made such a progress.
That's very nice of you, my little Hendrika. Very nice.
Could I also have a little bit of the rice?
Certainly, my little Hendrika. Give me your plate.
A little bit more, please?
Yes. And also a bit quince-jelly?
Oh yes!
Well, you feel better now?|-Yes, Monsieur.
Then you can take some medicine. In front of me!
You get the same dose. Go!
Private Area. Forbidden for men.
Before you go to bed, I will tell you the story of|The Wolf and the Lamb.
Don't pull your nose! It will stay like that!|I told you before...
Let's go on...
And what happend after that?
They married?
Go to bed. You did not understand anything...
Dancing, that's my life. I'm so happy to dance. I don't like men.
Dancing, Dancing...No men! Never any men!
Philipe.|-Who is it?
It's me, open!|-No, it's not you!
It certainly is me!|-No, it's not you.
But I tell you, it's me.|-Prove It!
How can I prove it?|-Sing the song of the latest ballet!
It's the head of Francoise.
Non, it's the counterfeit head of Francoise.|Open!...Open!
She has left. She's no longer in her room.|-What?
Get dressed, we'll leave!
She must not discover us!Under no circumstances!|We hide behind the bus...
It's nothing. Go on. It's nothing.
What do you mean, nothing? And this? And that?
That's nothing! Absolutely nothing...
This is nothing?|-No!Nothing|-And he?He has nothing?
No! -I've got nothing.
Well, You don't want me to bring you to a garage?
The car runs fine, very good. It's you that keeps me from going...The car is fine.
Ah, it's me who...I appologize for having had to brake, Monsieur.
Don't go, Madam. There is NOTHING! We drive on now...
No, thanks. I am almost there.|-...ok...
Finally a young one. I take you to Paris.|You are a beau.
I will introduce you to my friends.
There's no need to be so shy. Come back...
We have to make up our minds, Francoise.|Do you want to marry me?
Give me a little bit more time to think about it.
But I will leave in two days.|I want you to give me an answer before that, my beloved Francoise.
But Evans. The ballet, the tour. I don't leave that easily.
Yes, I understand. I will wait for you.
I will give you a call in two days.
I hope it will be a yes.|- So do I.
It's me. It's me.|-What's going on?
You'll never believe me! You'll never believe me.
We thought Francoise was going to leave me. Not at all!|You Know what the were talking about?|-No.
Only about you!|-Me?
There were only talking about you.
I almost fell into the water. She said:|"I'm in Love with Philipe but i don't dare telling him"
That's impossible.|-He said:"You have to tell him! Don't hide your feelings."|And I kept on swinging to and thro...
That's impossible.|-There were talking about that all night long. Till four o'clock.|I spend all the night swinging...
What do you say?|That's unbelievable!
But I tell you. No stories here! If she gets into your room: out!|And you never think about her. Never!
I have your word? -Yes...|Let me see your eyes, I can count on you? -yes...
Yes, I can trust you...|Everything will be fine.
That's incredible...
Francoise...I...|-What's wrong with you?
I...I wrote a song yor you.|May I sing it for you!
In my room,tonight.
Tonight?|-If Evans doesn't see us, there's no problem...
Francoise...finally...|-What's wrong with you?
I have forgotten the words of my song for you...
Relax, relax, discontract yourself.
This is a song...a song that...a song which...
A song that what?
I have your...but i have time...
That's nice..|-to tell you in my song...|-That's the emotion...
At last, Francoise...What I wanted to tell you...
Wait! wait...wait....
I remember the verses of my song...|-What good for now?
At the end of my song I tell you...|-That you love me.
What's happening?|What are you doing here?|And you, what are you doing in Francoise' room?
Calm down! You know better...
It's fun to moque me. You think I am an idiot|-No...Wait for me..wait...
Listen. A woman is not that easy to get.The right time the right place...|-And i missed both..!? I do understand now...
No, you don't understand women at all!|- I tell you I do.
The girls played a nasty trick on Francoise.|You'll have to talk to her alone.
How?|-I have an idea. You will call her on the phone.
On the phone?|-Like that nobody can listen...Go!
Francoise, I dreamed many times of you...
You again?|-I had to call you. In front of you i lose my self-control.|I want to tell you...
You can't be serious. I'm tired...Good night
Francoise, I love you.
Did you call Francoise?
I woke her up and she treated me like a child.|-That's the mother in every woman. She loves you!
Call her again. Go!
I know how women are sometimes. I know you are in love with me.|-That's enough now!|-But Francoise, I love you!
I have to sleep. Stop buggin me...|-But I have to tell you...|-And I have nothing to tell you.
Stop annoying me. It's no longer funny.
Very good...perfect!
M. Franco Budsoni?|-Speaking.|-There's a phone call from Mlle Francoise Aumartin.
Ah Francoise, what a nice surprise.
Yes, I can hear you.|I've been thinking about you all the time...
And I have nothing to tell you.Stop annoying me.|-What?
But Francoise, remember what you had told me...
Are you crying?
Sure, you're sad...Please, remember. I asked you to marry me.
It doesn't work.
Stop talking like that. It's no longer funny.
What's that. Where's the manager?|Did you see that?
Pedro. Look. He's already downstairs.
According to our contract there are only women allowed as staff.
But he has fourteen children.
And you think that's reassuring?
I will find someone else in a few days...|-I will leave.
And I booked the whole floor. Who's singing here all the time?
At his place I will put an old woman who can't speak.|-You must be joking. I will leave...
There he is again. He went over there.
He's already that way...
Look, the girls are here. What will they think of moral?|No men,no men...only women, women, women...once and for all!
Have a look at this: Here's a Lady.
Beautiful...How beautiful.That is....enormous!
Who made this?
It has to be like that. I did it myself.
Ah yes, it looks similar to you...
Come over here girls and have a look|It's this man who built it. Nice, isn't it?
But sisters! My sister's! What is that, sister?|These are sisters!
When I started working in Rome i met this boy.'s difficult to explain..
I understand well.
M.Evans is wrong.He can't protect us from men...
Can you imagine what happens if he finds out?|And i have to get the baby tomorrow.
If you take it with you our tour is in danger.|But I think I have an idea. We put it in M.Evans' room.
Do the birds for me.|That helps.I'm better now.
Quick! Evans is here.
Monsieur. We entrust you with with our little boy |who is, what is left of your nephew's last trip to Rome.|That bastard!
Yes. One moment. Don't come in.
What is that?|-Your tea, sir.
Go away. Do the birds for me!| Now go away.
Stop crying. I will call your father.
Philipe, would you come over here,, it's nothing at all.
Is that you, Philipe? Get in!
But what's that?|-A little baby.
A girl?|-No, a little boy.
It's your son.|Read this! Is it true?
True or not?
So it's true!
You have left your child! Do you know what that means?
You could be sent to prison! How could you do that?
It was not very difficult...
Don't you ever try to be funny with me! Now tell me!
During our last tour i met a girl in Rome.|-How scandalous!|-A Sicilian...
A Sicilian!! Didn't you think about me?|-At that moment...not really.
I don't deserve this. You are a scoundrel. A rascal.|You've dishonoured and ruined us.
The girls must not hear this. It would ruin the ballet.| We have to keep it as a secret.
We keep the child here until we found the mother.|-It's Mother? What for?
Because you will marry her. That will fix it.|-Oh no!
Now we need napkins, pouder etc. Put the phone off the hook|It must not be disturbed.
I am not here.
Here is my key. I don't want anybody in my room.|My bed and my room are done.|-Thank you
I have a headache.
You have a headache? you better sit down.|-He has nothing at all. he's a lier... I need...
I think I feel ill...|-You better sit down.
No, not there. Over there...
I want you to find me...Have you got pains?|-No,'s nothing
Can I go on?...Are you suffering? Is it a malady?|-It's all right....
M. le Directeur, I want a chamber-pot|-What?|-Don't laugh at me!
But you have all the comfort....|-I know! It's working fine, but I want a chamber-pot.
This big...
But that's small. For you?| -Yes, for me. I need a chamber pot. I'll be back in half an hour...
Did anyone call me?|-Nobody.|-Have you got the Pot?
The pot. Yes, I will send it upstairs...|No, I'm in a hurry. I take it with me. Hurry!
That doesn't work?|-Haven't you got a smaller one?|-No, this is the standart size.
Ok, It'll be diffcult, but it'll do it. I take it...
Enough now...Now we will weigh you.|He has exactly 4 kilos.
That's it! I found the house of the Sicilian.
Where?|Let's go!
I forgot to put the phone off the hook. Wait here...
Philipe, come here quick.
The baby has gone.
But it is here.|-But it wasn't.|-It's here!
But it wasn't.|-Is it here or not?|-Yes, it's here.
But it wasn't here?|-Yes, yes, it was here...I remember now...
It's here...
Who's there?|-It's me.|-Who is me?
A friend.
Who is that behind you?|-That's not me, that's him.|
That's him|-That's her
That's him. He's the father.
No, no. Everything will be in order. We will repair everything.
No, not the child!
Blood! Blood!
It's all right. Everything is fine. Thanks a lot.
Now we have two of them.|Tell me, what's the name of Joseph's mother?
The little boy.
But we don't know if it's Joseph.
I don't care, i call him Joseph. Now tell me, what's the name of Joseph's mother?
Look at me! Look straight in my eyes! Who is the mother of the boy?| I'm listening...
It was the maid of Marquis de Ronstalli.
The maid of Marquis de Ronstalli!
Good, back to the hotel. We put the little girl beside her little brother|and then I take care of the baron...
Of the Marquis...|-I don't care about the Marquis...
Philipe, prepare a bath at 37°C for the Sicilian.
Yes Oncle
If you do lalalala
think of the consequences
all that is very nice
but life is to be regarded as serious
They were so beautifull, I just couldn't resist.|I just saw the beauty in them.
If you do lalalala
think of the consequences
all that is very nice
but life is to be regarded as serious
But in their hearts i found again the truth.|I was so happy i couldn't keep a clear head.
If you do lalalala, think of the consequences| The children, the feeding-bottles, the prams, the pipis and popos
And now we have to find two nurses for them. You will take care of that.
Me? But how can I do that?|-I don't care. You will find ways.
At the same time I will take care of the Marquis Ronstalli. We will get along very well.|And we have to find a solution for the maid to finish this situation.
M.Marquis, it's about one and a half years ago...|That is about 18 months..
Well, two times nine months...
My nephew and your maid have...
I don't understand.
My nephew and your maid have...
I don't understand.
There is a child now.
But I'm absolutly serious.
M.,you are a flail...A flail!
But we even thought about marriage.
That's impossible. That's already done. It's me who married her.
Your maid?|-Yes. She never had a child.
I'm quite confuse, Mme Marquis.
It's not her. This one arrived yesterday.
And my nephew's little boy?|-Leave!
But M. Marquis, of whom is the little boy of my nephew?
But listen...I...well,'s all right...
This is lax. A bit more spirit.
We did two repetitions and are waiting for you.
We did two repetitions and are waiting for you.
Philipe isn't here?|-Not yet.What shall we do?
We prepare the bottles.
I made it. I found two nurses.|-That's not too bad. I spoke to the Marquis. He's married.
Whom to?|-To the maid.
To mine?|-No, to his...Well, you're right, it's yours.
And the boy?|-Nothing about the boy. It's not of his.|-His what?
The maid. There must be another girl.
That's impossible, I didn't have any others.|I swear.
You swear it by the heads of your children?|-Yes
Now I don't know any more, I don't understand anything anylonger, nothing...
Where is my daughter?
My son has disappeared.My baby has gone.
Call the Police!
It's very easy, commissioner.|-Do you think so?
Do you speak french well?|-Yes, yes.
I thought that my nephews son was the son of the Sicilian. But it was a little girl.
The Sicilian was a little girl?
No, the little boy.
Ah, the little boy was a little girl.
He doesn't understand at all...|-I understand perfectly...go on explaining!
It's that the two were from me, commissioner.
Speak when you're asked to. Everybody has his turn.
The little boy wasn't the child of the Sicilian but still he is the son of my nephew.|-I understand...
But the little girl was the child of the maid.
The maid?|-Of the Marquis...
bien-shore, bien shore...
Er, you don't say bien shore, you say bien-sūr.
Thank you very much!
And why did you put these little babys in those big drums?
Because we were looking for two nurses.
Yes, nurses.|-What are you trying to tell me with that?
I understand, you want to make fun of the commissioner.
And what about him?|-He will marry.
Yes, I will marry...We will marry each other.
And now we three will start working together!
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Hypnotist The 1999
Hypnotized The
Hypo-Chondri-Cat The (1950)