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House of the Dead

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It was a nightmare. So many dead people.
So many victims. It all started a few days ago...
when I came here for a rave.
And, now, all that remains is the rotten smell of death.
You must stop Curien...
or else something terrible will happen!
Nice. So, where are they, dude? We're gonna miss the boat.
Greg and Simon.
Greg's the guy I played ball with in college.
A good guy, if not a little goofy.
Simon. They say God doesn't give with two hands, and they were right.
He got the looks, but not much between those ears.
Cynthia... Greg's girlfriend. Pure eye candy.
I'm Simon.
Karma. Thinks she's Foxy Brown.
She has a crush on Simon, but Simon only has eyes for Alicia, my ex.
We broke up a few weeks ago so I could study and she could fence.
She loves it. I don't see what it's good for.
Anyone have one of those invitations with the map on it?
Are you sure this is where the boat's supposed to leave from?
MaybeJohnnie gave you the wrong info.
Yeah, hon. I'm pretty sure.
It says here the boat doesn't leave until 5:00.
Yeah, and it's 5:15 now, Simon.
Shit. We're so fucked.
They missed the boat to the rave.
If only they decided to stay back in Seattle...
they'd all be alive today.
Unbelievable. It's going on all weekend. You gotta come.
And you'll never guess who's here.
Hello? The cell phone reception's for shit out here.
Hello, sweetie? I'm losing you. Are you there?
Hello? Shit!
Now, where was it you wanted to take me to?
I was trying my best to function as a single guy should.
But at the back of my head, something was nibbling away at my subconscious.
What you doin' over there?
Good evening. Beautiful day, isn't it?
You got yourself some sort of hearin' disability?
I asked you a question.
I've come to charter your boat, sir.
You do, huh? Well, that's too bad...
'cause this here's a fishin' boat, not the Pacific Princess.
Why don't you try the yellow pages?
We gotta get to this party on an island, and we were hopin' to use your boat.
You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are ya?
I said, shove off. Or don't you sprechen Sie Englisch?
Why don't you just name your price, and we can skip...
the old-man-on-the-sea routine.
A man's gotta eat, right?
What part of"shove off" didn't you understand?
Hold it.
Geez. Who's the U-boat commander?
- What? - How much?
$300 sound fair?
- About 600 might. - Six hundred? No way.
No one is talking to you. Where are you headed, girls?
- Huh? - I don't know. We got this map.
It's somewhere in the San Juans. You must know where that is, right?
You crazy?
- They crazy. - No, I don't think so.
- Excuse me? - I said, forget it.
Yeah, forget it. Forget it.
- That means stop talkin', start walkin'. - Why?
Why? Why? Why? They always ask "why."
You know what they call this island?
Isle del Morte.
Morte. That's Spanish for "death," in case you don't speak Mexican.
Well, listen, friend, I got me an island to catch right here.
And if this is some lame attempt to hit me up for more cash...
It ain't.
There ain't enough cash in the world to make us go back there.
- Keep the cash. Keep the cash. - Let's get out of here.
Fuck it. A grand.
What do you say 500 now, and another five on the way back?
You can be mighty persuasive if you wanna be, Mr...
- Simon Cruz. And you are? - Kirk's the name.
Wait, wait. Captain Kirk?
Does that make him Mr. Spock?
I don't like no Captain Kirk jokes.
Now, let's shove off before you say something else you'll regret.
All right.
It's all good.
Cap'n! Cap'n!
I'm not goin'. I'm not goin'.
There's evil spirits on that island.
You just get the deck lines and let me worry about the evil spirits, okay?
Ahoy there, Captain Kirk.
This is the United States Marine Patrol.
Stand down and prepare to be boarded, Captain.
Oh, shit!
What are you gonna do?
We have no choice. We got to do what the lady says.
It'll delay our departure for a while, though.
Delay us? For how long?
Well, I imagine they're looking for guns, drugs, who knows what.
It'll probably take 'em a few hours.
And that's only if they don't find nothin'.
How much to lose 'em?
Did you forget what today is?
You can lose them, right?
Sure I can.
Who's talking, Alexander Hamilton, Ben Franklin or you?
- It's the second Friday of the month.! - Do it.
Just a routine inspection, Kirk.
Don't even think ofleaving my harbor.
Heave to.! Where the hell do you think you're going?
Heave to.!
This is Casper. McGyvers and I are moving out. Over.
Hate to break this to you, kid, but I would have done it for free.
The lady needs to dine on a humble pie once in a while.
- So you've run into her before? - Run into her?
Hell yeah. She's had a hard-on for me...
ever since we got out of the service...
and I didn't start working for Uncle Sam like she did.
Can't blame her for still getting wet over me, can ya?
- Come on. - Come on what?
Let's go swimming.
You're crazy. You're pretty enough to eat.
- You're nuts, baby. - Come on.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
Oh, my God. That's cold, baby.
Come on, you big wimp.
No, you go. You have a good swim, babe.
Yeah, fine.
It's fine once you get in. Come on, Matt.
You're no fun.
He's heading out to the San Juan Islands, Cap.
Just maintain speed and distance.
I don't want him to make us yet.
- Cynthia's such a trooper. - Don't come near me.
Must've eaten something back at the...
You know what? Whatever you say, baby.
- God, it's cold. - I know.
Greg, you look like shit, man. Here.
Have another beer. This'll make you feel better.
On my face!
Oh, yeah.
- Get back here. - Come on, Matt!
Come on, Matt. Don't play games.
Matt, where are you?
What a mess. What an idiot.
Did you get a real good peek there, perv?
I wanna give this to you.
- What's this for? - It's for your protection.
It's okay. I'm on the pill.
It'll ward off evil spirits.
It'll protect you and your friends from harm.
Whatever, Gandalf.
Matt, where are you?
I'm lost. Where are you?
What is that?
What is this?
Are you in there?
Are you in there?
Is that you, Matt?
Oh, my God!
Hey, Cap, I can get a little closer to 'em.
Yeah. Let's keep our distance and see where he's headin;
- Slow down, slow down. - Come on.
Did you hear that?
- Shallow water! - Okay, Salish.
Hey, guys, there it is.
Yes! Finally!
Easy, now.
Almost there.
Shut it down!
- I'm so excited! - Finally!
I know where they're docking. Drop me off on the other side of the island.
- You want me to radio for backup? - Nah.
I think I can handle Victor myself.
- Okeydoke. - They're on their way.
What do you wanna do now?
Let's go. I found a spot for our merchandise.
Start unloading. If Casper comes after us...
she won't find anything left on board to arrest us for.
Yeah, right up here.
Wait. Wait. Let me see that a second.
Well, you're obviously no cartographer.
- What? - Come on. It's this way.
- Smart too, isn't she? - Yep.
Smart enough not to get involved with the likes of you, bro.
- What's this? - Come on.
- Smells like someone farted up there. - Look at all these bubbles.
It's disgusting.
Seems like a storm's comin' up.
Maybe so. But that's all right.
Keeps Casper off our ass if she tries coming after us...
while we blow on out of here.
What about the kids? We can't leave 'em alone.
This is a bad island.
I ain't waiting around for 'em, not if we have a chance to slip past Casper.
- You'd better keep unloading. - All right.
Then we'll come back next week when the heat is off, huh?
- You hear somethin'? - No, nothing.
- Where is everyone? - Come on, Karma.
I can't believe this.
It's their loss. We have this entire place to ourselves...
to dance the night away, and I intend to put it to good use.
- I'm not so sure that's a good idea. - You would say that.
Do you mind if everybody isn't miserable, like you?
Yeah, you know what? I remember when she used to be fun.
When was that, kindergarten?
How funny. You're funny.
I think something bad's happened here.
Like what?
Well, they sure as hell did not go to 7-11 to get more booze...
because the keg is full.
- Right on. - Cheers.
- Chin-chin. - Salud.!
- L 'chaim.! - Well, what the fuck?
Doesn't this bother any of you?
We're on the island where the rave of the year's supposed to be happening...
but it's completely deserted.
Yeah, it worries me. It worries me there aren't any mixers.
Simon cannot survive on Bud alone.
Speak for yourself, dude.
I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go find out where everyone went.
Okay? Is anyone else coming?
Hell no. Me and Cyn are gonna...
groove to some funky tunes all night long, right, baby doll?
You know it, sugarplum.
Okay, you know what? I'm coming with you.
I'm starting to get diabetes from all this "sugar, sugar" over here.
- What about you, Studly Doolittle? - Three's not company in this case.
I think I'll join you.
Good. We need a big, strong man to protect us.
Problem is, there's never a big, strong man around when you need one.
All right, let's go.
Why do I always end up doin' this shit work?
Cap'n, is that you?
Hello, Cleveland!
- Cut it out. - What? Why?
Because I said so.
Said so, huh? Maybe I should just...
Wait, wait, wait.
I think I feel some rain coming.
Why don't we... I think it might... I think it might rain.
Why don't we go somewhere where we won't get wet?
Too late.
Close the Velcro. Beautiful Velcro.
- We are gonna do the humpity-bumpity. - Come on, baby.
The humpity-bumpity!
- Yeah, baby! - One, two, three!
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What if the others come back?
- I can be quick. - What else is new?
Hey, don't... Don't take it personal, Greg.
- A lot of men have these problems. - I just gotta take a piss.
Not in here, you idiot! Go pee in the bushes!
Christ, I just...
I just gotta go and take a piss is all.
- All this beer's gotta go somewhere. - For God's sakes.
Be right back.
- Hello? - It's so quiet.
It's a gorgeous night. Why don't we play for a little while?
Shall we?
Why don't you just stick to playing with yourself for now?
- By the way, what's with the accent? - I don't know.
Salish, are you done yet?
Better hurry back, baby.
Mama's gonna give it to ya.
Greg, you're scaring me.
Come on, baby.
- Will you get a load of that? - What the hell is it?
Looks like it was built a millennia ago.
Simon, it's centuries.
Right. Well, that's what I meant.
Should we go in?
I am not going in there.
Unless there's a spa and a 24-hour room service, you're on your own, hon.
Well, are you coming, or am I going in myself?
Didn't you ever watch Scooby Doo?
This is so not a good idea.
I am completely not in favor of doing this.
Well, the candles are lit. I mean, someone must be home.
Alicia, watch out!
What the fuck?
What the hell are you doing here?
- Where is everyone? - Shut the door!
You broke my glasses. Great. Nice.
Okay, what is going on here?
We'll show you.
Come on.
I've got it on tape.
Sorry. I have a lot of footage here. I'll just fast-forward.
Everyone was partying, you know.
Drinking and dancing and just hanging out, having fun.
And then these things came and they attacked the rave.
They started killing everybody. Those of us that could get away did.
We ran. We finally got to the boat, but it wasn't there.
These things, they just kept coming and coming and killing.
We found this house. We ran inside and tried to hide.
That's when you guys came. We thought you were more of them.
"Them"? Who the hell is "them"?
"Who"? Try "what."
- Rudy, they were dead people. - Okay, guys, you saw the tape.
Those are reanimated corpses just like out of a fuckin' Romero movie.
- A what? - A Romero movie.
You know, like, the holy trilogy: Night, Dawn and Day.
They say he's gonna make Twilight of the Dead one day, but I doubt it.
Yeah, I find this all a little hard to believe.
It was a stunt. It was part of the rave.
- It wasn't a stunt, Alicia. - You know what?
Simon says let's get out of here and let the cops ask questions later...
while we're kicking it back in Seattle selling our story to the Enquirer.
Sounds great. You got a boat?
- Yes, down at the beach. - Thank God.
Then let's not waste any more time yakking. Let's just go!
We can't. We still have friends back at the rave. We're not gonna leave them.
We gotta get out of here while we still can.
We're not leaving without them.
Okay. Let's go.
- So, you came with that girl? - What?
Let me give you a tip. I don't think she's a natural red, white and blue.
Met her at the rave. So, who's your boy over there...
with the Tom Cruise smile and the Rain Man brain?
He just so happens to be the biggest underwear model in America.
- That's great. - You okay, Simon?
Where the hell are they?
- Greg? Cindy? - Please, do not do that.
You're being taken, Hugh.
This is all just one big practical joke.
If you'd been here, which you weren't, you wouldn't think it was a joke.
Believe me.
What is that?
I'm so not touching that.
Hold this.
Let's flip it over.
Holy... Dude, what the fuck happened to you?
I was in there, and then all of the sudden...
the frickin'... the banging, and then the frickin' thing fell over.
And I was stuck inside. Shit!
- You're in deep shit, huh? - That's very funny.
Get that fuckin'... Who are you?
- Where's Cyn? - I don't know, bro. You tell me.
We gotta go find her.
Where the fuck did that come from?
What is... Oh, my God!
What is... Cynthia!
What the hell was that thing?
Our best friend.
Not anymore.
She was like a wild animal.
Did you see here face? Oh, my God!
- It's horrible! - What happened to her?
Everybody hold on a minute.
Maybe I can get us some answers.
McGyvers, come in.
This is Casper. Come in. Over. It's out.
I'm not getting anything on the radio. Anyone have a cell phone?
We already tried. It's not working.
- There's some sort of interference. - Look, I don't know what's going on.
What I do know is I've gotta get you all off this island.
- How did you get here? - On a boat like everyone else.
But it's gone. It's been destroyed.
We didn't. We came in the Lazarus with Kirk.
- Where is he? - He's in the inlet down at the beach.
- Can you take me to him? - Are you gonna arrest him?
Not at the moment. Right now...
I just wanna get you all as far away from here as possible.
Sounds like a plan to me.
I am so fucking scared, Simon.
I know. Me too.
I just can't believe Cynthia's dead.
I'm so sorry, Alicia.
Quiet, everybody.
Everyone, quiet.
Can we go home now, please?
Let's get out of here! Come on!
- Move it! - Let's go!
- Oh, shit! - Kirk!
It's gotta be down here! It's gotta be down here!
- All right. - Where is it?
- Oh, God, that's not Kirk. - Simon!
- Don't jump in the water! - Simon, don't!
- No, don't! - Simon, don't go!
- Swim, Simon! - Swim!
- Look out! - Go, go, go!
Get out of the water, Simon!
Shoot him!
Rudy, behind you!
Swim, Simon! Swim!
No! Liberty!
Shoot it!
What do you think I'm trying to do, you fucking moron?
Come on. Come on.
Fuck! You fucking zombie bastards!
You're not gonna fuck with us again, are ya, asshole?
Are you? Are you?
- My face! - You all right? Let me see.
Let me see. Could I have your coat?
- Oh, fuck! - Here, let me see it. Let me look.
- Let me see it. - Are you a doctor?
- Hardly. He's premed. - I'm in med school.
At least you're not pre-law.
- Oh, my God. - Let me see.
- Is that a bite? - Yeah.
- All right. - Hmm?
I've gotta get back to the patrol boat. I can get on the radio and get us help.
Wait. Are you just gonna leave us here while you go looking for the cavalry?
- You're coming with me. - Me? Why me?
Are you a doctor? Are you wounded?
- Can you use a gun? - Well, I can...
That's why you.
The boat should be a mile or so up the beach.
We'll climb aboard and come back for help. Understood?
- Come on. - Greg. My name's Greg.
Come on, Greg!
- Hey, what the hell were those things? - I don't know.
But what I do know now is why they call this island Isle del Morte.
You gotta do this. You gotta do this.
There must be some kind of scientific explanation for this.
Liberty's right. They gotta be some kind of mutation.
Yeah, from what? The shrinking ozone? What, too little sunscreen?
Rudy, give me a break. These are zombies pure and simple.
The sooner we accept it and deal with it...
the better chance we have of getting out of here alive.
Your first mate seemed to know something about this island. What was it?
- Nothing but an old wives' tale. - Like the walking dead?
best I reckon, the story goes...
there was once some crazy Spanish padre...
who was banished from Spain...
hundreds of years ago.
His name was Castillo Sermano.
You asked to see me, Father Castillo?
Come closer, Captain. I cannot see your face.
Are you afraid, Captain?
You know why I was banished from Spain?
Your experiments are not of God.
What has God done for you, or for me?
There is no God. There's only me.
May he have mercy on your soul.
The Spanish were trying from falling...
the sands into the limeys.
They never made it to the garrison.
They say he murdered the crew of the St. Cristobol...
enslaved the natives of this island, and killed whoever came here ever since.
Some say he still does.
- I'm sorry I asked. - If you ask me...
it's just a bunch of smugglers and cutthroats...
looking for ways to scare people off.
Well, you would know, wouldn't you?
What can I say?
They're doing a hell of a job, ain't they?
What is it?
- I can't hear anything. - Neither do I.
Run! Run!
We can't stay out here like this. We're too vulnerable.
I know, but we can't leave until Greg and Casper get back.
We gotta get back on that boat, but there's no way I'm goin' in that water.
We can't. It's too far. Besides, we don't know what's still on that boat.
What about that house?
It's defensible. We'll have shelter.
Okay, it's a good idea. We make a run for it as soon as they get back.
What if they don't come back? What then?
- They'll come back. - Yeah, but what if they don't?
What are we gonna do? We don't have any weapons or food.
- I mean, we don't have shit. - Actually, we do.
- You gotta be kidding me. - This is why Casper's on your ass?
- You're smuggling Cuban cigars? - Among other things.
Still hard at work smuggling, I see, Victor.
Don't you just wish you could prove that, Jordan?
- What are these then? - We just found them on the beach.
- Right. - Crazy, huh?
I'm not gonna worry about that right now. We've got bigger problems.
My patrol boat's been destroyed. My first mate is missing.
- What about Greg? Where is he? - Yeah.
I don't think he made it.
- What do you mean? - He's gone. I'm sorry.
We gotta go back there and look for him. Maybe there's a chance he's okay.
- We can't just leave him out there. - He's dead.
If you don't wanna end up like him, shut up and listen to what she's saying.
What else you got in there besides smokes? Anything useful?
Let me introduce you to my little friend.
And who said size doesn't matter?
Nice. But mine's bigger.
Mossberg 500.
Stainless shotgun with incendiary shells.
Saving the best for last.
Here you go. Take it.
Good choice.
Desert Eagle. I like the way you think, girl.
We can't stay here for long. Those creatures are everywhere.
We talked about making a run for it to that house that we found.
That sounds like a good idea. We can hole up in there until help arrives.
If help arrives.
Don't worry. When we don't report in, the marine patrol will come for us.
Everyone know how to use their weapons?
- Shit! - We're gonna have to make a run for it.
- What if they're already inside? - That's a chance we have to take.
We can hold up a lot better in there than we can out here.
- Once they spot us... - Oh, God!
Over here!
- The door's locked! - You gotta be kidding me!
We could blow the door. But there won't be enough left to keep them out.
Forget it. We'll find another way.
- We need more ammo! - We haven't got any.
- I'm down to my last clip. - Yeah, me too.
I'm saving mine for myself.
Are you okay? Watch out!
- The window! - Can you get through, Rudy?
Yeah. Come on!
Oh, shit.
Die, you son of a bitch!
Pull! Hurry!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Casper? Look at me.
Casper, look at me. I need you to look at me.
Okay? Look at me.
Look at me. You saved us, okay?
You saved us.
Shit, I'm out!
Let's get him to that table!
See if we can find something to use as a bandage.
Simon, we should check for more of them.
- Sorry. - Where's Casper, Rudy?
She didn't make it. I'm sorry.
Okay, Captain, this is gonna hurt.
Do it. Do it!
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
- Give me a light. - Here.
Fuck. Oh, shit.
Don't look at me.
I'm the fuckin' Elephant Man.
- I think we should... - Just get away from me.
I don't need your help.
- Hang in there, Kirk. - All right, all right, all right.
Just get some rest.
- Is he gonna end up like Cynthia? - I don't know.
What do you think's gonna happen to us?
- Does it matter? - It does. It matters to me.
I mean, are we even gonna get out of here?
Even if we get out of here, I'm finished.
Who's gonna be able to look me in the eyes with a face like this?
I'm a freak. I belong in the fuckin' circus.
Don't talk like that.
I happen to think you've been very brave tonight.
And I still think you're pretty damn sexy.
You're not just doing this to make me feel better, are you?
I'm doing this to make me feel better.
It's so quiet.
Yeah, it's almost too quiet.
- Look at this. - What?
Where are they dragging them?
What are they doing with the bodies?
I got a bad feeling.
What happened?
- Rudy, what happened? - Why does it matter what happened?
She's dead. I didn't save her.
- It's not your fault. - It was my fault!
It was my fault!
Were you here? Did you see it?
Did you see... watch them rip her apart?
You know what?
You know what?
It's not gonna happen again.
We're gonna get out of here.
It's Kirk. You need to take a look at him. He's getting worse.
How you doin', Captain?
- I wouldn't mind a drink. - Okay.
That's all we got.
Not exactly what I had in mind, but thanks just the same.
Guys, check out this book.
It looks pretty old. Maybe it'll help us.
Well, that cuts it. I'm either gonna get better or I ain't.
In any case, you have no agua, a fistful of ammo left and zero rations.
Maybe it's time you stopped babysitting me...
and started worrying about yourselves a bit more.
- What'd you have in mind? - Check out the rest of the house.
See what you can scrounge and where you can fortify yourselves better.
There's no telling what's coming through that door next.
Maybe there's another way out of here.
You guys, this looks like a ship's journal.
According to the officer's logs, it says Castillo Sermano killed the captain...
then beached the ship and lit it on fire.
So the stories that Kirk told us make sense now.
You'd better go now. Go.
You're right.
- You gonna be okay? - Just fine.
If not, I've always got this.
The captain's right. We gotta get out of here and search the rest of this house.
Let's go.
Let's start with the courtyard.
What is all this?
What's in there?
- I can't... - It's locked?
- What... - Oh, my God.
This is sick!
Sorry. This is unbelievable.
- Why aren't these zombies alive? - I don't know.
Rudy, take a look at this.
It's blood.
It's blood?
Yeah, but...
it's not human, though.
It's like it's... It's like it's been mutated.
I've never seen anything like it before.
It's completely unnatural.
It's fucking genius.
I'm not gonna let Salish live like one of them.
Kirk, where are you?
What are you doing? They're gonna kill you.
I'm dead already.
See you in hell, boys.
Everybody get down! Now!
Get out of here! Everybody!
- We just need to... - Lock the door!
Hurry, hurry!
- What is that? - Son of a bitch! It's gunpowder.
Well, it's a good thing. We can use it, right?
The only way we can use it is if we blew it up, and...
No, it's useless, because someone would have to be here to...
I'll go to the lab. I'm gonna see if I can find something.
I'll go with you.
Let's see.
What is this?
What happened?
Karma, no!
Oh, my God, it's the blood! It brings 'em back to life!
Here, use this!
- Let's move this! - Board it up with this!
They're breaking through!
Come on!
You guys, there's a door!
Get down! Go!
Simon, come on!
Just go!
Where the hell are we?
Must be some kind of catacomb underneath the house.
Sorry, Karma.
This must be how they shift supplies from the ship to the house.
If that's the case, then one of these tunnels lead to the beach somewhere.
Let's go.
I'm out.
- Have they gone? - I hope so.
Listen. Be quiet.
Let's go.
- Go! Go! - Go, go, go, go!
- I'll take care of these guys. - Karma, no!
Get out of here! Hurry!
- Greg, what are you doing here? - What is this room?
Greg, we thought you were dead.
Greg, say something.
Alicia, get away from him. That's not Greg! Get away!
Get off me!
- Oh, God! - What do they want with us?
On the table. On the table!
Hold him down. Hold him down!
Your body parts...
they will serve me well for a long time.
The blood we found, it ties all the creatures.
You created it all so you could be immortal. Why?
To live forever.
It works.
After all these years, it finally works.
The blood lives like I said it would.
Did you hear what I said?
It works.
I'm going to live forever.
I will never die.
You think you can kill me?
I will live forever.
Your skin.
So beautiful.
I've been waiting for you...
for a long time.
What do you want?
I just want your flesh.
Run! Come on!
- Fuck, that was close! - I can't believe what just happened!
Isn't it nice to know someone wants you for your body?
Depending on what they want.
We gotta get to the beach. Come on.
Fuck you!
Game over, fucker.
Oh, my God.
Maintain perimeter. "G" and I are proceeding inside.
Advise of any contact with reanimated Homo sapiens. Maintain alpha alert.
- Who are you? - Who are you?
We're here to rescue you.
- Thanks. - Is she okay?
Does she look okay?
What's your name?
You got a last name?
I feel guilty because of what happened.
It was a nightmare.
So many dead, so many victims...
and people that were my friends.
And now we go home... me and Alicia.
Or whatever she is now, whatever I've created.
God, ain't love a bitch?
Is this the end, or only the beginning?
The House of the Dead.
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