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How High

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[Bong Water Bubbling,|Knocking On Door]
[ Hip-Hop ]
Hits from the bong
Hits from the bong|From the bong
[ Bong Water Bubbling ]| Hits from the bong|From the bong
Hits from the bong | Pick it, pack it|Fire it up
Come along|and take a hit from the bong
Put the blunt down|just for a second
Don't get me wrong|It's not a new method
Inhale, exhale
Just got an ounce|in the mail
I'd like a blunt|or a big fat cone
But my double-barrel bong|is gettin' me stoned
I'm skillin'|There's water inside|Don't spill it
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
Hits from the bong|Gonna get high
Let's smoke that bowl|Hit the bong
And then take that finger|off ofthat hole
Plug it, unplug it|Don't strain
I love you, MaryJane |[ Pounding on Door]
What the fuck|is your problem?|No dishwee-saya.
- Me bumbaclot johnson|no workin, see?|- What?
My raasclot true gashman|and me dick won't stay tick, see?
I think I got somethin'|for that. Hold on.
Ain't what you want, baby |Girl, wake your ass up.
But what you need, baby |Damn right you ain't sleep.
Not what you want, baby
It's what you need, baby |"Crabs."|"Bad Breath."
- Come back with me, baby|Satisfaction guaranteed|- "Limp Dick." Ha!
Got that dough?|Mm-hmm.
Will this make my drill sergeant|stand at attention?
No, but it'll make you|forget your drill sergeant|don't stand at attention.
Blaze two,|get at me in the mornin'.|Peace!
Yo, Silas, my brother!
Oh, shit, Mikey.|Hell, no!
Come on, Silas.|I need somethin'|to help me out.
Yeah... rehab, mouthwash|and a job application.|Jeez!
I'm startin'|to recognize things.
That's 'cause you comin' down|off a three-month crack binge.|It's called reality, son.
Later, man.|Wait, Silas!
You've got anything|for a head wound?
Man, ain't nothin' wrong|with your head.
- Aah!|- [ Thud]
There is now.
Fuckin' crackhead.
- Now what? Oh, shit, Ive!|- What's up, dog?
What's up, nigga?|What's crackin'?
Oh, shit. You know.
Hey, you get my message about|goin' to the Jets game?
Yo, I wish I could, dog,|but I got this little shorty|comin' through tonight.
I met her on the Internet...|
This girl is bangin'!
Yo, we even exchanged|pictures and everything!
Damn. This look like|your last girlfriend.
Mm-hmm.|And did your picture|have that nasty...
Al B. Sure pubic patch|in it, motherfucker?
This just sprang up.|You know what I think it is?
It's the mark of Buddha.
And your haircut game|is fucked up.
Girlfriend see that,|she gonna shit on you.
This girl is different.|All she cares about|is Kevin Costner movies.
I'm gonna let Kev|do the foreplay, right?|Mm-hmm.
And I figured I could get|somethin' from Garden of Weeden|to make it interesting.
Costner, huh?|Dances with Wolves.|Mm-hmm.
Field ofDreams.|That's a corny motherfucker.
You gonna need some strong shit|just to stay awake.
You're feelin' me.|You're feelin' me.
That's a four-hour move|you're makin', motherfucker.
Whoo! What is this?
Huh? Get up.|Dog,|you shouldn't have.
Man, I didn't.|Get outta here with that shit.
Let me just grab a titty.|Hell, no.
She wouldn't even know|it was me.|To hell with that.
Yeah. What you got for me?|Here you go,|right here:. the bomb.
Oh, yeah.|What's this right here?|Aah!
Stop touchin' stuff!|When you gonna get|funds for this shit?
Look right there.|See that right there?
That's a natural|aphrodisiac right there.
Come here.|Let me show you some more shit.|Look right there.
See that right there?|That's a painkiller.|Look up under there, bro.
You see that?|Cure for blue balls.
This ain't shit, all right?|Watch yourself.
Yeah, well,|your shit is raggedier|than a motherfucker, okay?
If you took|your head off these ho's|and put it in some books,
you'd have that lab|you always talked about.
Half those books|is filled with bullshit,
the other half lies, all right?
See what I'm sayin'?|I gotta give Pops his medicine.
I'm hungrier|than four dudes.
Hey, I'm hungrier|than five.
Who is you,|and what's you doin'|in my house,Jack?
I work for|Porkchops-O-Chunky.
Whether you're black,|or a honky or in-between,|you'll love Porkchops-O-Chunky.
Man, that's me!|So what's in this stuff?
Nothin' but pork.|Wow! Right on!
Why don't you|have a bowl...|There you go, man.
Yo, you scared|to answer your call?
What callin'?
Porkchops-o-Chunky|Taste real good
Won't make your bathroom|smell funky, yeah
You got a opportunity|to do somethin' here...
that the drug companies|would never do:.|What up? Stay up.
puttin' the power of healin'|in the hands of the common man.|Yeah, whatever.
What you need to do|is concentrate on gettin'|the power of booty...
into the hands|of your common ass,|that's what you need to do.
Don't worry about the Ive.|I got mine comin' tonight.|Hey, Silas.
Damn, you see|the ass on her?|Shut up, boy.
Yo, you just remember|to take them THC's, at least|try to get into college,
workin' in a real lab,|makin' some real money.
Yeah, okay.|Whatever, man.|If you say so, bro.
The world is bigger|than Staten Island, dog.
I'm out.
Holler at me.|I'll try to.
What's up, ladies?|Yo, Si.
If I got hit by a bus tomorrow,|I got your back, dog.
Ifanything happened to me|while Ijumped out a window...
and my hair caught on fire,|I got your back, dog.
Ifmy ex came after me|with a knife and stabbed me,|I got your back!
Man, you talk|too fuckin' much.|Peace!
Yo, Silas!|You better take|those college exams!
[ Woman ]|Look at Jamal.|He's a good boy, huh?
Good boy, my ass.|Ask her why I had to cancel|my nail appointment...
to go and pick him up|in the precinct last week.
Momma, they lyin'.|They lyin'?
- They found the weed on you,|didn't they?|- It wasn't mine.
Then what is this|that I found in your bedroom?
Hello.|Ma, it is a lamp.
And this is where|you turn it on now.
Excuse me?|Head.
Now, where did I go wrong|with your ass?
You're gonna have to take|that THC test and get|into a four-year college,
or I'm just gonna cut you off|from this family.
Baby, you are the first member|ofthis family to go to college,
but six years|at a two-year community college|is not what I had in mind.
[ Both ]|Tell the truth.|Baby, I got a dream...
that one day I can put|your college diploma...
here under my Jesus,|who's master of this house,
next to your brother's|prison-issued|barber certificate...
and your sister's|weave master degree.
Now don't disappoint me,|you weed smokin',
three-day-wearin'|nasty ass.
Just like your father.|Ma,
why you always gotta|be talkin' to me like that|in front of company?
- These bitches ain't nobody.|- [ Both ] Oh!
- Now go warm me up|some Porkchops-O-Chunky.|- Is that all, Momma?
- Wash your nasty ass.|- Is that all, Momma?
I really don't know|what you came here for
You the man.| Round and round we go
Consider your bags|outside the door |What's up, baby?
Oh, hell no!
I didn't know|you had dreads.|And what is that?
Brother just got extensions|put in today. They tight, huh?
Where?|Between your eyes?
What the hell is that?|It's the mark of Buddha.
It's the skid mark|of Buddha!
Looks like he took a dump|in the middle of your face.
I don't think|this is gonna work out.|Hold on, now!
Why you doin' this?|I'm in the Field ofDreams|and Dances with Wolves.
Nigga, you are a wolf.
Chocolate diva!|Nubian goddess!
I'm gonna take you off|my buddy list, bitch!|[Door Opens, Closes ]
I hope you get a virus...|you and your computer!|[ Tires Squeal]
[ Man Whispering On TV ]|If you build it, they will come.
[ Man #2 On TV ]|What you mean, "If you|build it, they gonna come"?
Who's gonna come|to a fuckin' cornfield?|Who gonna cut the grass?
I know you don't expect me|to sell no peanuts out this, bitch.
Shit remind me of slavery,|Roots and shit.
I don't play this, man.
Hey, what was that?|Annie! Crazy ho!
Only way I'm comin'|is if you got some females|and some chronic.
Then we all gonna be comin'.|That voicejust now,|what was it?
- We didn't hear anything.|- You got some nice titties,|dog. Word.
What titties? What?|Okay, you must've heard that.
It's a good baseball field, Ray.|It's kinda pretty, isn't it?
Uh, yeah.|T old you.
Did not. No, you did not.|You been busy plowin' my corn.|Did.
[ Screaming ]
Mark ofBuddha, my ass.|Look at you now... dead, ashes.
Damn, Ivory.|After all these years|of blazin',
who would've thought|the last thing to wind up|smokin' would be your ass?
I'm gonna miss you, dog,
and I'm gonna|be thinkin' about you|while I'm taking them THC's.
And if you're really my boy,
you'll make sure I pass|that motherfucker, ya heard?
Thanks, Pops. Matter of|fact, what's up with that little...
Can I get a little...|Never mind. Forget it.
Rude-ass motherfucker.|Stingy bastard!
"Early Girl."
Ooh, Ivory!|My, how you've grown!
[ Sniffs ]|Wow!
Damn, Ivory!|I had no idea you could|stink so good, nigga!
Oh, hey, man,|get that car fixed, yo.
Bumbaclot, boy!
[ Car Sputtering ]
[Radio ]| Cisco Kid|was a friend ofmine
Man, get the fuck|outta here, man!
Look at this little-ass|bag of fuckin' weed!| Cisco Kid
[Radio: Reggae ]
Yes, Lord.|[ Sniffs ]|Ooh, damn!
He drink whiskey|Pancho drink the wine
[ Passes Gas ]|Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh, shit!
My weed!|Oh! Oh!
No cigar? No!| [Reggae Continues ]
Fuck! Fuck!|Bitch! Fuck! Fuck!
Bitch! Fuck!
To think thatjammin'|was a thing ofthe...
Got blunt?
Got weed?
Man, that shit smell|good as hell, dog.
I'm Jamal.|Peace. Silas.
Say, you tryin' to|get somethin' to bring them|nerves down too, huh, bro?
Yeah, I figure if I study high,|take the test high, get high scores.
[ Both ]|Right.
Look at that car.|Is it on fire?
Hit that, son.|[ Coughing ]
[ Gagging ]|[ Coughing ]
Yo!|[ Coughs ]
This is the shit.|That shit is called Ivory.
It's the shit.|That's the Ivory.
Goddamn!|That is the shit.
Hey, y'all|pass that, kid?
I just gave it to|the guy in the back, man.
Guy in the back?|What the fuck are you...
What's up, dog?|That's Ivory.
No, that's the Ivory, bro.
Damn.|Ivory! Holy shit!
You got to be kiddin' me!|Yo, yo, you, Silas!|Chill out! Silas!
What the fuck is goin' on?|Ain't you supposed to be dead?
I am dead,|but this is what happens|when you smoke your boy.
Holy shit!|Man, let me try that!|Silas, relax.
Can we talk about|this in your car?
Can we talk about|this in your car?
Look. I know how you can|get hi gh scores.
I'm a ghost, ghost, ghost,|ghost, ghost, ghost.
Don't touch me, man.|It's me, dog.
What are you doin'?|You just runnin' the streets,|fuckin' with the livin'?
No, bro.|I'm just here for you.
But you gotta understand|people can only see me|when they smoke me.
I got all the answers.|I can consult with people.
Socrates, Nietzsche...|even the old dude|who made up this test.
That's bullshit.|I bullshit you not.
I told you I have your back,|even if I got hit by a bus.
Your ass didn't|even get hit by a bus.
[ Screaming ]
I made it!|I can't feel my legs,|but I'm alive!
- [ Horn Honks ]|- [ Screams ]
- And you predicted that shit?|- Yeah.
What are you doin'here?|You gonna hook me up|with a chick...
with no gag reflex|or some shit like that?
Even better. I'm gonna|be in there with you.
By the time I'm done with you,|every college in the country|will be knockin' at your door.
Ow! Shit!|Man, I must not|be high enough, man.
- He a ghost, man.|- Cool. That explains everything.
I'm up here tryin' to put|my fuckin' hand through the...
We've never had anybody,|let alone two people,|get a perfect score.
We either have|a one-in-six-billion|phenomenon or a cheat.
Damn!|But it would have been|impossible...
for either of you to cheat,|you had two totally different|versions of the test.
Congratulations. These scores|are going to get you into|any college in the country.
Yo, we still high|on that Ivory?
[ Bells Jingling ]
[Man ]|Dean, it's as simple as this.
The trustees|of the university|are riding my ass...
about getting some color|up at Harvard.
Excuse me?|Ethnic diversity.
The trustees seem to|think we need it.
How come we don't|have more minorities?|How should I know?
Ifwe don't do something soon,|I might get fired.
What about Upchuck Kamalu?|He's Eskimo.
Why isn't he considered as a minority?|And I brought him in.
Yes, but it's breaking the bank|keeping his igloo frozen.
Dean, what about|those two guys I read about|from the tri-states?
They made perfect scores|on their THC's!
I saw those guys' pictures.|They look like mug shots!
I don't care. I want them!
At Reparations Technical Institute,|we offer a cornucopia ofeducational...
and business opportunities|for brothers and sisters|to pursue hi gher learning.
Read from the brochure,|brother.|Brothers, join us...
at Reparations Technical|Institute and learn hatred|for the white devil...
in a relaxed campus atmosphere,|where classes range...
from... to...|Hatred for the White Devil...|Advanced Hatred for the White Devil...
- Next!|- You think you're all hot tamales|right now, I'll tell you.
Why don't you come to the base|and understand what it's really|like to be somebody special?
You can work hard, you learn...
- and then you can build|refrigerators and such.|- Next!
- Taking a vow of celibacy,|- Next.
- frees your mind and your body.|- Next! Next!
Harvard?|Man, ain't it a lot|ofrichie people up there?
Shit, I gotta roll up|that joint, dog.
Well, with test scores|like theses, you can|roll up anyjoint you want.
But Harvard, gentlemen,|is not just any joint.|It's an institution.
All I wanna do is develop|my herbal in a real lab...
and get some head|while I'm doin' it.
Well, we have|the finest botany department|in the world...
and a quality of life like no other...
music, artistsand the women.
So, does it sound tempting?|Ivy League atmosphere?
A place where you can|really grow academically?
Shit, I fucks with ya.|Shit, I fucks|with you too.
- Is that good?|- Yes, that's a "yes."
Then we'll fucks|with each other.
Then we'll fucks|with each other.
Eh, yo.|Damn!
[Silas ]|Alls look like they|still in high school, yo.
If there's grass|on the infield, play ball.
Where the fuck is|orientation at, anyway?
[ Both ]|Yeah!
[ Wolf Calls ]
- What the fuck was that?|-Jesus!
If I can pull off six years|at a community college,
I know I can|get at least 1 2 years|up in this motherfucker.
Yo, how much|of that Ivory shit|we got anyway?
We limited, all right?|We gonna have to|split this shit up.
You know what I'm sayin'?|We only blaze at test times.
What, no wake and bake?|Got other stuff for that.
Remember those artifacts|that I found this summer?|Well, I was right!
They are Ben Franklin's!|Great!
Did you figure out|where you wanna|eat dinner tonight?
Dinner? Bart, you know,|some of these things are...
They look like|earlier inventions,
and if I can discover|what these are,
it could be the greatest find|in the history of|anyone attending Harvard.
I loves|Ben Franklin, girl,
and I could listen to you talk|about his stinkin'ass all day long.
Excuse me?
Oh, do anybody know where|the financial aid office is?
Well, my man,|let me think.
See that statue right there?|It's beautiful, isn't it?
That statue is in the likeness|of my great granddaddy Dooster,
so I'm guessin'|that would be|the Dooster House...
the financial aid office.
Gee, I don't think I've ever met anyone|who actually needed to go there.
All we did was come over|for directions.
Ifwe came over here|and asked if anybody needed|their ass kicked,
you wouldn't sound|so fuckin' smug, now would you?
My bad, bro.|We got off on the wrong foot.
Let's start over.|I'm Bart.|Yeah, I'm Jamal.
Well, my friend, this is crew,|but don't even think about it.
You don't look like|you could hang,Jamaine.
The name's Jamal,|and I'll fuck your crew up.
Who are they?|Who are they, goddamn it?|It's rowing,Jimmy Jam.
[ Mumbles ]|Well, Bart-fart,|you got skills in it?
I'm captain|of the team.
If you can do it,|I can do it, sucker.|Right, goddamn it!
This isn't basketball,|J. Rock.
I train all year round|for three seasons to make|number one in single sculls.
You about to be number two,|'cause I'm signin' up, buddy.
Well, practice starts|tomorrow at 6:.00 a.m.,|all right?
Fine! I don't mind|cutting my evening short|to be there.
As dean of freshmen,|I have welcomed students|from all over the world.
From Korea, from Rome...
Students enter Harvard|with a variety of goals.
Excuse me.|Are we in the right place?
-Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?|- You? You?
Uh, as I was saying,
Harvard isn't for everyone.
Oh, shit.|We got a black man|for a teacher.
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.|What's up, bro? Hallo.|We straight, dog.
We straight.|[Barks ]
- As I was saying...|- What's wrong with this ass?
He probably been locked up|more times than me|and your ass put together.
Get 'im!|No green Jimmy the Cricket|suit-wearin' ass motherfucker.
Get 'im!|No short Colin Powell haircut,|havin'-ass motherfucker.
Get 'im!|Little Angela Davis moustache...
wearin'-ass motherfucker!|Get 'im!
You ol' Richard Pryor shortcut,|fade-havin'-around-the-side|wearin' motherfucker!
You little Sammy Davis|award Junior afro-haircut-|havin'-ass motherfucker!
Get 'im!|You I ittle dynamite Disco Danny|double-statin'...
Get 'im!|You little dog-with-a-haircut...
If you don't mind,|I'd like you to sit down.|I would like to continue.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Watch your toes.|Watch the colon. Excuse me.
[ Imitating Passing Gas ]|Thank you for your...
entertaining anecdotes.
We here at Harvard|are rooted in tradition.
Fuck is this?
- That's toilet water.|- [ Spits ]
It's a part of my pledge.|Do you guys mind?
No, but do you mind|talkin' that way?
'Cause your breath smell like|straight ass-crack, bro.
Isn't there a hip-hop convention|you two should be at|or something?
- Oh, shark has fangs!|- Oh! Word. Hey, go easy on him.
We probably|the only blackheads he seen|since he looked in the mirror.
Can you guys just show|a little respect? Jeez!
- This class is fuckin' boring.|I'm outta here!|- Uh, excuse me.
Did I hear you say something?|With all due respect sir,|suck my dick.
[ All Gasp ]
No, sir,|I'm not saying anything.|It... It's these guys.
- You're an asshole.|- Did you call me an asshole?
- No, I said "idiot."|- An idiot?
No, sir.|What did you say?
- I said that this school|has nice halls.|- This is not funny.
You couldn't teach your way|out of kindergarten class, Dean.
I think we've had enough|interruptions for today.|I think you should leave!
Sir...|[ Students Laughing ]
This would never have happened|if I were black.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Better pull back|on those pedals, boy.|Why?
Maximum speed on campus|is 15 M.P.H.'s.
Fifty bucks?|Oh, man, I can't pay this.
Well.|This isn't even|a real ticket.
It's a student citation.|I'm a volunteer.
You need to pay that|by Friday at 5:00...
That was uncalled for.|Eat me.
You just earned yourself|another citation.|Fuck off!
[Bike Horn Honking]|Well, well, well.
Look who we have here.
Damn, this bike phat as hell!|Whoa! Don't touch!
All right, leave the bike alone.|Did you just call me fat?|And what is that stench?
That's my cologne|Can only buy it from Mennen.
I don't know what that is.|Forewarning, gentlemen:
You better watch your mouths|and your behind.
See, I'm lookin' for the ecstasy.|I'm lookin' for the pot.
Oh, yeah.|I'm lookin' for those 'shrooms.
Shit, we lookin'|for that shit too!
What are you talkin' about?|[ Both ]|Same thing you talkin' about.
What are we talkin' about?|Look, Gerald.|Either your holdin',
or go to your little roadster|and move the fuck on, okay?
It's Volunteer Officer Pickelstein,|and I am watching you.
Oh, I'm watching you...|like a hawk.
Like a hawk!|Somebody needs a hug.
Don't worry, baby.|You can suck my dick|after class.
Oh! Wow!
Oh, she wants me.|Welcome to Lovell House.
You look funky fresh,|and funky fresh...
always likes|funky fresh women.
"Amir: Professional student/|resident advisor for you."
And professional player.|So, what's mine is yours,
and what's yours|I've probably already had.
You and you and me,|we're the same: Africa tan.
- The original man|was like us, man.|- Whatever, nigga.
"I believe in the Fly Club,|its traditions and its ideals.
[ Rap ]|I believe in the..." Excuse me.|Do you have to play that loud?
- I'm trying to study|my pledge book.|- This Niggas With Attitude.
If you smart, you|tell people you love NWA.|They think you cool.
A coupla notes|get you hogtied and roped|Dope like guns
Why you wear smelly eggs?
These eggs|are a part of my pledging.
I am getting thousands|of lifetime connections here.
I'm gonna be|a part of a fraternity.
Hey, hey, hey!|What's up? What's up? What's up?
Oh, God.|One glove, my brothers!
I am Tuan, child prodigy.
Well, I'm Jamal,|a pothead.
Silas, entrepre-Negro.
Jamal! Oh!
Fresh gear, man!|You like?
I designed it myself.|I call it "BF."
- BUFU.|- Oh, no. Not you two!
Pink-ass Paul Bunyan|plaid-pussy-shirt-wearin'...
Man, I'll fuck your ass up.|Shut up.
Okay, but if you two|are our roommates, who's that?
That's I Need Money!|Goddamn!
Okay, but,|what's his name?
I Need Money!
[ Cash Register Dings ]
- Doesn't talk. How come he?|- I Need Money, he's a mute.
When we first hooked up,|he wrote on a slip of paper|"I Need Money."
I said, "Shit! Me too,"
and we started makin' it|together after that.
- Where he stayin'?|- Harvard.
Lovell House.|Second Floor,|right on the couch.
But he's smoking in our room.|That's not legal.
Just be cool,|and you might have some fun|this semester.
Stupid.|[ Coughs ]
NWA? Kid, what do you|know about that?
Yeah, yeah.|I love Niggers With Attitudes.
Nobody...|I repeat, nobody...
- drops the N-bomb up in here.|- Nobody.
- That go for you too.|- Hey, I am down with you, man.
You East coast,|I Far East coast.
I'm from Wisconsin.
Yo, fresh and funky.
Dean Cain wants to|see you in his office.|Don't be late.
Gentlemen, this institution|has graduated...
countless|Fortune 500 C.E.O.'s,
41 Nobel laureates|and 6 presidents.
Hey, Dean...
where's all them fly-ass|women the chancellor|was talkin' about?
I mean, so far,|I only seen some stuck-up,
nerdy-ass-lookin'|women out there.
[ Time Bomb Ticking ]
[ Crunch ]
Aah!|[ Vacuum Whirring ]
You were dropping Chee-tos...
You were dropping Chee-tos...
on an original 18th-century|handwoven tapestry!
You mean, this carpet?
This is out of|my personal collection.
I got this in|my travels to Nepal!
Man, I know the bitch|that make these rugs.|You know Juanita.
- Yeah, I remember that bitch.|- It means the world to me!
Now, as I was saying,|here at Harvard...
we have very high standards.
Any student on a scholarship...
must maintain|at least a 2.0 average,|or you will be expelled.
It's good to know|we have the support|of the faculty, Dean.
And don'tyou worry.|Me and Jamal here,
we're all about good grades.|- Is that right, Mr. King?
Hell, motherfuck...|I mean, yes, sir,|Dean Cain, sir.
Slam, slam, brother|My brother
Is that the one|that you want
Slam, slam, brother|My brother, is that|the one that you want
Now, how is carbon dioxide|changed into oxygen?
Plants, dick!|God ! You guys!
Jamal. Jamal. Jamal.
Sleepyhead, wake up!
[ Clock Beeping ]
I got somethin'|for your ass.
[ Grunts ]
[ Loud Rock ]
[ Continues ]
[ Indistinct ]
Come on, gentlemen!|Pick it up if you want to be|part of this squad!
Whew! What took|y'all guys so long?
Coach, I have not lost|an oar run in three years.
I'm wonderin'|if this guy cheated.
Cheated?|Man, fuck you!
Why is fuckin'Dick Butt-kiss|over here always ridin'me?
Dick Butt-kiss?|Did you hear that, Coach?|He's cursing!
Bart, I think you'd better|go open up the boathouse.
But, Coach!|Bart!
I don't think|you wanna see this.
You, here.
Come here. Come here!
Nice comeback|on the Dick Butt-kiss.|I wish I could have said that.
His parents have been|driving me crazy, making my life|a misery for years,
but they give lots of money|to the university.
I have to go to those|lousy cocktail parties.
She has lousy perfume,|and he has a lousy toupee.
Anyway,|you keep throwing zingers|to this jerk-off,
and you're gonna|make the team, son.
And let that|be a lesson to you!|This is the last time!
All right,|rookies, push-ups!|Get down!
Yo, what's up|with the fast stroll?
Can I holler?|Hi.
The role played...
by the African-Americans|in the history ofthis country...
has been largely unnoticed.
Of course,|history is the record|of an account of the past,
but the issue here is,|who is recording the account?
If it's Snowflake, Whitey...
Paleface,|Peckeoods, Cracker,
well, we got Cleopatra|looking like Elizabeth Taylor,
Jesus looks like a hippie in a dashiki.
But if it's one of my proud|black people that's doing|the recording of the account...
Yo, Silas!
Well, we might have|Moses looking like...
this fine black man|right here.
But black people|don't get any credit.|I'm sore as a motherfucker, man.
Who invented|the air conditioner?|A black man.
What's up, dogs?
Yo, son,|I'm sore as a bitch in here.|And you know what else?
I'm gonna have to knock that|Bart character the fuck out.
Once again, a black man.
Can't this wait till|after class? You're supposed|to be in here anyway.
This is Black History.|Black History?
Man, it look like|all the black students that|was in here are history, nigga.
- Shh!|- You tellin' me to "shh"?|See what I mean?
Fuck history.|Oh, that's right.
- Fuck history.|- Yeah, fuck history.
I'm Mr. Moses. I expect you'll|be ready for your quiz tomorrow.|Quiz, my ass!
The white man teachin'|Black History, anyway,|that's some bullshit.
I'm goin' to lunch,|take a nice long shit.
That's the kind of attitude|I like to hear.|And, uh, where are you going?
Um, we didn't land|on Plymouth Rock.|Plymouth Rock landed on us.
Ooh, all right!|Malcolm X!
I'm glad someone's|appreciating the knowledge|I'm dropping on you today.
What about you two?|Why don't yo walk out|and protest with your brothers?
Walk out on me! What are|you doing sitting there?|You look like Whitey.
You look like a couple|of goddamn Uncle Toms!|Walk on out!
That's right,|get up and move!|You should lynch me!
Lynch me for what my people|have done to your people.
Stand up for your rights |Move on up! Move on up!
Go, go, go, go.
Hey, what's up?
[ Screaming ]|Stop!
Bicycle, bicycle
Hey, what's|going on here?
He took my baby!|Stop!
Bring my baby back!
Bike, bike |Not my baby! Oh, God!
Oh, please, God!|Come back!
Bicycle, bicycle
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
Bicycle |Oh, no!
Oh, my God! My wheels!
Oh, my horn!|Please don't back up!|Please don't back up!
Hey, you!|Where's E I m and Thi rd?
What?|Don't go foard!
Not forward!|[ Screams ]
- That's not yours!|- Look at these, bro!
No, don't put 'em in...|Oh, my baby!
Can anyone tell me the name|ofthis plant? Bart?
Oh, yeah. It's a, uh,|hanging rubber plant.
It's indigenous to the wet drylands|of the Northern Hemisphere.
Yeah, right, Bart.|Would you bet money on that?
Or is that like below|the "Dooster Principle"?
Yeah, I'll bet on it.|How about an S.U.V.?|I got three of 'em.
And the survey says,|[ Imitates Buzzer]|"You lose."
It's a neem plant,|Professor.
Oui. It is,|but how did you|know that, Silas?
I had this|nasty-ass rash once.
Put a little|neem plant on it,|cleared it up in an hour.
- I even smoked it before.|- Well, that figures.
One thing it doesn't cure, though?|Bein' a spoiled little bitch.
I'd like you all to do|an experiment on a plant,
something that|may benefit mankind.
And if you devise|something groundbreaking,
I guarantee you|an "A" in this course.|Class dismissed.
Good work, everyone.|Keep up the good work.|Thank you.
[ Lauren ]|So, he likes plants, does he?
I see still waters run deep.|Please believe.
But wait till you see|my presentation.
You gonna love me after that.
So, Lauren,|you might as well tell him now|and get it over with.
What?|You know.|How you said...
you're startin' to see Bart|for the shallow bastard that he is,
and eventually you're gonna|leave his ass for me.
This semester in Women's Studies,|we will discuss...
how women are objectified|in popular culture,
while the masculine bastards|exploit women's ideas|for great profit,
- then take all the credit.|-Jamal!
- Ijust wanna touch you|tease you, lick you |- You have the most amazing...
Please you|love you, hold you ||penis.
Yes, I do.| Make love to you
And I'm gonna kiss you|suck you
Taste you, ride you|feel you deep inside me
Hell, yeah.
So you're playin'|grabby-ass again, huh?
- Ma!|- Did you wash your ass today?
Aah! Aah!|Damn, Ma! Stop, Ma!
You hi gh yet?|Hell, no, man.|Maybe not high enough.
Where the hell is he?|[ Coughs ]
Maybe I ain't|hit it hard enough.
What are you doin' in there?|Droppin' your kids off at the pool?
Oh, shit.
Hey, what's up,J?|Give me five.
Yo, I hate it|when you do that.|I love that funny shit.
- What took you so long, man?|- Biggie and 'Pac, they throwin'|a party, man.
Open bar all night, man.|Everything was cool, man,
till Marvin Gaye|came in there trippin'.
- Marvin Gaye?|- Yeah.
Listen, man, we got a test|in about five minutes.|Word.
What's that got to do with me?|I know you ready. You studied for it.
Ready? We ain't studied...
Come on, son.|You've got|a golden opportunity here...
to make somethin' of yourself,|and you just throwin' it away?
- It's time for you to learn a lesson.|- Come on, Ive.
I'm out, man.|Ive!
Don't play!|Yo, talk to your boy.
Why you go and tell him|we ain't studied for the test?|Damn all that!
You should've thought about|all that before you got us...|What's up!
I was just fuckin'|with you, man.
Come on, son.|This is some good shit.
You know you my boy, man.
"C," Silas. Come on, man.|It's Portuguese.
1 863. That's "B."
J, what are you doin'?|1 961, "B."
Trust me.|I got all the answers.|You just told me that answer.
"A," French.|Definitely the French.
[ Women Moaning ]
[ Moaning Continues ]
Goddamn virgins.|At least y'all|bein' entertained.
I ain't seen a stitch of pussy|on this whole campus.
The chickens are not|clucking around here.
You've come to the right place.|I've been an undergrad for 1 2 years.
I know everything there is to know|about Ivy League women.
Twelveyears?|Damn, kid.
Your people payin'|for all this shit?
A drop in the bucket, sucker.|I remain here solely for the purpose of...
hooking up|with Harvard women...
short ones, tall ones,
skinny ones, chunky ones.
Man, I'd love me a fat chick, man.|More cushion for the pushin'.
Yes. I want to boldly go|where no man has gone before.
I am an explorer.
I see you are very much|liking to explore S. T.D.'s|also, my friend.
That shit on your lip|got some shit on|its lip, dog.
Is that why no puff-puff?|Pass the dutchie, my friends.
This is nothing!|I cut myself shaving.|Yeah, whatever.
We need to start|importin' some ho's.
[ Girl]|Molly, get in here!|You have to see this!
Oh, my!|Look at those muscles!
- He is quite attractive.|- Indeed.
I think there's some freak|in those gigs.
Yeah!|Here we go.
Don't get the wrong idea.|We've never done this before.
We're virgins.
Virgins?|No, you're not.
- Yes, we are. Yes!|- Nah!
[ Men ]|No, no, no.
[ Women ]|Yes, yes, yes.
[ Men ]|No, no, no!
[ Women ]|Yes, yes, yes!
[ Screaming,|Groaning Continue ]
Oh, yeah!|Oh! Oh!
Why do good girls|like bad guys |Hey, bro, change for a 20?
Heyyo, Boo|like bad guys | Good girls
Showin' that bad guys|Showin' that thigh
And why do|want a honey with class | Dog niggaz
Sometimes you want more|than just a honey with ass
Hey, yo, who would ever think|that the two would go good
[ Fades ]|H istory!
Got an "A-pl us,"||my ni gga.
Whew-whew!|Who is that?
- That is all me, G.|- That's the vice president's daughter,
as in vice president|of the United States.
Jamal, you don't want that.|Them girls only know three words:
"stop," "no" and "don't."
Uh-oh, my brother.|You got those words backwards.
They always tell me,|"No, don't stop!"
Excuse me.|Player, player.
We are about to tighten|this ass up right here.
She's got|this long, black hair
It's a-hangin'|on down her back
Long, black, pretty legs|and she walksjust like a cat
Hypnotic eyes|and a stacked-up love sack
She not only wants your love|she wants your life after that
Don't do it|Don't give your love to sexy Ida
'Cause she's a sister|ofthe black widow spider
Sorry, si r.|Jamie's not accepting|any male callers at this time.
Man, I ain't callin'.|I'm right here.
Cedric, step aside.
[ Barking ]
What's your name?|I'm Jamal.
You ever been|arrested, Jamal?|Uh, no.
Ever busted up your|mother's house and slapped her|when she asked you about it?
Oh, hell, no!|Crazy?
You ain't my type.
Wait a minute!|Wait a minute!
Hold! Hold! Hold!
I once got arrested|for stealin' a car one time,
but my mother|dropped the charges.
Well, it's not a felony,|but maybe we can work with that.
[ Panting ]
- I didn't mean to scare you.|Can I come in?|- Um...
Sure, come on in.
Move my things.|There you go.|You can sit there.
Thank you.|How very thoughtful.
You'll have to pardon my dust.
I've got a lot of artifacts|and delicate things down here.
What's this shit?|Looks old.|Oh, it is old.
It's over 200 years old.
I, um, sort of|discovered it.
You discovered|all this crazy shit.|You a straight-up genius, girl.
Well, I don't know|about all that.
I do know it's Ben Franklin's.|I just don't know what it is.
But I was thinking|that it could be like|this old Revolutionary cannon...
or a telescope, or...
Whatever it is,|this shit is hot.
Let me ask you|somethin'.|Yeah.
How'd you hook up|with that Bart dude?
I've known Bart|all my life,
and if it weren't|for his family,|I probably wouldn't be here.
Isn't that... sweet?
Look, you got a little|somethin' on your dress.
- My eyes.|- Aha!
Bart, honey, sweetie,|you are just in time...
because I've just|finished studying.
I didn't know the two of you|were studying in here,|alone, with the lights dimmed,
drinking beer!
Look, Silas, I know|what you're trying to do.|You're trying to frick her!
[ Gasps ]
Whatever, Bart-kowski.|Listen, I was just admiring|your girl's, uh, thing.
Oh, well, I guess|I should say "thanks."
This is a part|of history, man.
Your girl is doin' somethin'|I think you need to recognize.
- Yeah? So?|- Listen, I'm out.
Um, maybe next time|I'll get to study with you.|Peace.
"Peace"is meant to explain|a state of tranquility.
So why don't you try|thinking of another way|to say "good-bye,"
now that you're amongst|civilized people?
Well, Mr. Civilized,|"peace" can also be used|interjectionally...
as a request,|greeting or farewell.
So try to find another way|to be an asshole...
if you don't know|your grammar, that is.
Okay, Bart!
God.|Can I get my stuff?
It was near|the medical library.
I think they said|it was one of those|tick-tocky, blow-uppy,
exploding thingy,|pipe bomb thing-things.
Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you. You too.
All righty. Bye.
[Sirens Wailing]
"Dooster Principle,"|my ass.
[ Jamal ]|Man, my grandmother would|love this shit in her garden.
Outta here.
Locked on, boys.
Yee-hah!|Look out!
That statue was priceless.|It means everything to our family.
Will you stop your|damn sniveling, son?
Buck up, Bart!|Buck up!
Yo, do you think|they gonna find out|we stole the Dooster statue?
Hell, no.
Oh, my God.|I knew it.
You guys stole|the Dooster!|They do what?
Fellas, I think it's time|we all sat down and kicked it.
No, no,|I'm not kicking anything.
I have a pledge meeting to go to|and haven't greased myself up.
God, Ijust don't get|you guys.
There's a lot ofthings in life|your assjust don't get.
Yeah, like pussy|and respect.
I heard that.
See, the system|is geared to put...
most of the wealth|into the hands of a few.
Rich weapons,|poor schooling.
Yeah, that's for sure.|Yeah, for sure.
Y'all don't know shit.|I'm gonna learns you, though.|I'm gonna learns you.
Dwarves, midgets,
motherfuckin' unicorns.
Them motherfuckers don't wanna|see a black man make it.
Yeah.|Know what I mean?
For sure.|Know what I mean?
And I'll tell you|somethin' else.
Oh, what you missed this|You got to bear witness
Catch a ho and another ho|Merry Christmas
Yes, I smoke shit|Straight offthe roach clip
I roll shit, fold the blunt|at once to approach it |For sure.
Forward motion|Make you sway like the ocean
Forward motion|Make you sway like the ocean
The herb is more than|just a powerful potion|What's the commotion
Word up, young M C.|You're just in time|to help cheer us to victory.
Young MC.
Bart, you know,|I think you keep|getting funnier every day.
You ain't gonna be laughin'|in a minute, motherfucker.
Jamal. Bart, I've decided|since you and Jamal|are my two best athletes,
I want you up against Yale.|Ah!
You can't just|change the lineup!|That's against the rules!
What rules? Who cares?|Do you guys care|about the rules?
[ All ]|No.|There you go.
[Man On P.A. ]|In the far lane, we have Yale.
In the near lane,|we have Harvard.
On your mark, get set...
[ Air Horn Blows ]|And they're off!|It's a clean start.
What are you doing,|Hip-Hop Hooray? Paddle!
Paddle like a man!|Shoot the J!|Get diggy with it. Something.
[Man On P.A. ]|They're blowin'Harvard's ass|out ofthe water.
Jamal, what is your ass|doin'rowin'a boat?
- You supposed to be in class.|- Who the hell|is that woman in the sky?
- I don't know.|- What's the matter?
- You been smokin'|too much ganja, huh?|- [ Bart ] She's huge!
I guess you mi ght as well|come back home and live with me.
- Oh, hell, no!|- Did you cuss at me?
Row, motherfucker, row!
Yes, Dean Cain.|Am I to believe this is correct?
Jamal and Silas|have gotten all "A's"?
I'll call you back.
How you doin', Dean?|How you doin'? How you been?
I see you're|checkin' out my gear, eh?
- Pretty tight, right?|- Actually, it's rather baggy.
No, man.|It's fat, dope, cool.|It's BUFU, man.
Bill, what has happened to you?|Sit down and take off those glasses.
All righty.
Tell me,|how is Jamal doing?
Oh, fine.|He's coming along.
Now, listen,|Jamie's father is having|an upcoming election,
and it won't look good|if she's involved with someone|from the lower class.
Isn't Jamie a freshman?
All right.|So you want me to tell Jamal|to stop seeing Jamie.
Well, I could that,|but he'll tell me, "Hey, man..."
Fuck you.|Fuck you! Fuck you!
Point well taken.|I need you|to help me get proof...
that Jamal|is diddling Jamie.
Oh, I see now, yes.|It's all good, yeah.
I'll go holler at him, son.|Oh, yeah.
Bill, did you|just call me "son"?|Hmm?
Stroke, smoke.|Stroke, smoke.
Good.|Stroke, smoke.
Stroke, smoke.|Stroke, smoke.
Hey, Dean Cain think|he can kick me out|the school that easy?
- He got another thing comin'.|- What an asshole.
Hey, Coach, thanks a lot, man.|I owe you.
[ Inhaling]|[ Woman ]|Ooh!
Listen, Jamie.|Me and you cannot see|each other no more.
No more datin',|no more foolin' around.
None of that.|It stop. That's it.
Yes, it's probably better|ifwe stop seeing each other...
for the sake of|my father's campaign.
If he lost the election|and it was my fault,
gosh, golly,|that would be so hard on me.
I don't think I could|live with myself.
Look, baby, maybe it would be|better if you went to school|somewhere down south.
[ Jamal Laughing ]
I think you should|go down south first.
This guy's a real asshole.
I can't.|I can't do it, all right?
Bring your ass over here!|We got work to do before|Dean Dickhead gets back.
Please!|Come on!
Aren't you worried about|getting kicked out?
For this? He ain't gonna|never find out. Relax.
[ Cooing ]
What happened to bird?|Crazy shitting everywhere?
Crazy shit, all right,|and it will be everywhere.
- With that, they just won't shit.|- Yeah.
They're gonna blow up.
And, as for you two,
ever since|you arrived on this campus,|there's been several mishaps.
Now my instincts tell me it's you,|but I can't prove it... not yet.
But I know if|I give you enough time,
pretty soon|you're going to slip up,
and then I'll be able to send you back|to your miserable existence.
What the hell|are you wearing?
"Buy us, fuck you!"
Get out!|Out! Out! Out! Out!
"Buy us, fuck you."
[ Jamal ]|If the chancellor throwin'|a Halloween party,
wait till Harvard|see our Halloween party!
Yeah, but if Dean Cain|find out about this shit,
he gonna be mad|as a motherfucker.
What the fuck is he gonna do?|We've got the Ivory.
We're gettin' straight "A's."
We've got this motherfucker|locked up.
They look like they got money.|Oh, he kinda cute.
Girl, we gonna get paid!
Ooh, how you doin'?|For real!
End-table ass!|Hella Back!
Where the party at?|We're tryin' to get a party on.
We havin' a party...|costume party|at the Lovell House.
1:00 p.m.
Please bring your ass|and titties along with you.
- We want all the ho's|out here to come.|- Did you just call us ho's?
- I meant that in a good way.|- Oh, okay.
Bring all your horny friends.|There you go. Just bring all the ho's.
Y'all gonna pay us, right?
- I don't hear nothin'.|- Yeah, we got dough.
Yeah, we got dough.|If not, our best friends got dough.
And if not,|they best friends got dough.
Yeah, we down with that.|Ballers and stuff gonna be there?
Ass, titties, ballers.|Go, girl, go!
We gonna be there.|All right!
[ Both ]|Popcorn player.
I got one more delivery|to make.
Guess who used to be black.
Dean Cain.|But he is black.
Like a polar bear,|but I got a recipe...
that'll inject some ghetto|back in his ass.
Got some more beer.|What did you do to yourself?
Oh, oh, the Fox Club.
Theyput me in a shopping cart|and shoved me down a hill.
Thank God I fell out|before I hit the freeway.
What the fuck you doin'?|Put the milk back! You're not|supposed to steal from us!
Why are you always taking|violent tones with people?
Man, shut up|before I kick your ass.
As human beings, we should|be able to talk this out,|not resort to violence.
How you gonna talk|when you shuttin' up?|Fine! Fine!
You want some violence?|You want a piece of this?
Come on! I'll show you|some violence! Come on!
[ Screaming ]
Ow! Oh, God!
Now go to time-out.|Go to your room.
[ Panting ]
[Doorbell Rings ]
I wonder who this could be.
Oh, my goodness.|Honey, look at this.
I wonder|who these are from.
"Dear Carl, saw these|and thought of you.
Love, Mrs. Ray."
It's my old schoolmarm!|I haven't heard from her|in years!
Oh, how sweet.
She knows|I love brownies.
Mmm! A little piece|of heaven.|Better than mine?
Darling, I don't remember|you cooking brownies.|You're right, I don't.
Hurry up, darling,|you're going to make us late,|and you know I hate to be late.
All right.|I'll take these upstairs.
I'll have another one.|They're great.
This is how we do it|Throw me a beer,|you big weenie!
- This is how we do it |- Whoo!
[ Continues ]
Lovell House!|[ Burps ]
Life is hell.|What up, fellas?|What's up?
- How was the trip?|- Good. Good.
I see Monks couldn't make it,|so I brought my man|I Need Money.
- Is he any good?|- He don't talk.|He speaks with his hands.
Right, right.|You have a good show.
I'm out.|[Record Scratches ]
Hey, hey, hey.|Don't fuck up tonight,|all right?
What the fuck|is the plate for, man?
[ Rhythmic Scratching ]
Gonna be a long night.
Carl. How are you?|Philip.|Wonderful.
You know Miss Jenowitz|from the Chemistry Department,|Nice to see you.
and Miss Lovell|from Administration.
And of course|you know my wife Sheila.
I almost didn't recognize you.|I thought you'd brought|a professional model.
You look lovely.|Oh, Philip!
- Yeah, the bitch is fine, isn't she?|- What?
Dear, can you at least|feign some interest?|You're embarrassing me.
And will you loosen up?|You're so stiff sometimes.|Stiff?
Bart, this party is stiff.|Excuse me, can you hold this?|I'm hot.
Can you put this|back on, actually?|Your butt is sticking out.
- What?|- What a jerk!
Don't spoil your appetite, Dean.|We're about to have|some lobster bisque...
and Indian pudding|that doesn't stop.
I got the munchies|like a motherfucker.|Hold this, baby.
He seems unusual tonight.|He's dehydrated.
[Slow Ballad]
Dance!|[ Grumbles ]
Yo, baby,|this is boring as hell.|Yo, yo, yo, yo, deejay !
[Music Stops ]|Hit me!
[Funk ]
[ Chattering ]
Come here, girl!
[ Hooting, Chattering ]
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I told you I had you covered.|There go the two big ballers|right there.
[ Both Grunting ]
You two stay put.|[Jeffrey]|I'm gonna hurt you!
[ Grunting Continues ]|Hey, hey, hey, hey,|hey, hey, hey, hey.
Yo, J. Yo, T.
See those two|fine ass ho's right there?
Don't you wish|they were really ho's...
and they came over here|and said,
"We want to run a dick-sucking|marathon with y'all two"?
Oh, yeah. I'd like that.|Me too!
Mm, okay.|You and you.
We wanna run|a dick-suckin' marathon|with y'all.
Okay. I'm not|that good at it.
Oh, baby, I ain't laughin'.|I'm gonna make you mine.
- Smells good.|- Ooh, you pretty boy-lookin'|motherfucker.
Hey, don't be scared.|It's only pussy.|Oh!
Don't be scared.|[ Laughs ]
I got two inches of hard dick!
I'll work with you, baby.|Come on.
"Costume party.|Place: Lovell House,|Time: Friday."
It is Friday.|But that's what|she told Cocoa Butter.
These bitches|better be gettin' my money.|Hella Back is my bottom bitch.
You know that, right?|Right. Powder.
Bitch better be out here|checkin' my motherfuckin' money.
Don't cuss when I'm tryin'|to listen to the Word.|The Lord don't like that.
- What did I say?|- You said "bitch,"
and "bitch" ain't in the Bible.
I know, bitch,|and neither is "motherfucker."|So drive this motherfuckin' car.
And you an assistant pimp.|You ain't even a real pimp.
So you supposed to be cosigning|to the shit that I say.
You wanna lose your job,|I will pull your motherfuckin'|application.
Now let's practice it.|Where's my bitches?|Where's my bitches?
Where's my bitches?|Where's my bitches?
You gotta say it together.|It goes in together.
Where's my bitches?|Okay, check this out.
Where my bitches?|Can't we just|say "employees"?
What about your employees?|No, fuck that!
Oh, yeah! Great ass!
Box up just like bein'|in your chest, thinks she got|away, don't hold your breath
Spinnin' on a track|with Red and Meth
Open up a fat one and smoke up|the sess, see these, we|the ones with the Wheaties
Treadin' on them all|Come on, believe me, look who|it is with the hokey feel
Look, an assassin|from Cypress Hill|DJ just resonated
[ Crowd Chanting ]|Go! Go! Go! Go!|Go! Go! Go! Go!
Oh, Silas, hi.|Hey, hey.
Um, let me ask you a question.|Now don't laugh. But, um...
[ Clears Throat ]|Does my ass look fat?|No.
Put another one|on the front just like it,
I'll slap both|them motherfuckers.|Badow! Badow!
[ Both Chuckle ]|Here. Peer pressure,|peer pressure, peer pressure.
Come on.|Let me holler at you.
Okay.|All right.
[R&B ]|Oh, that's my song!
What's this?|Ooh, you got a big sword, baby!
I-I have to go prepare.
Oh, you ain't got to|do shit, baby,
except climb out of this costume|and climb into some pussy, baby.
You have to appreciate|the colorful use|ofEnglish language.
- Oh, yeah!|- Wait, give me|that Chinese egg roll fuck!
I love America!
[ Rap: Indistinct ]
And sing along|to my hip-hop song, had you|chokin' offofa bong
Cypress Hill and we can't|go wrong, people smokin'|like Cheech and Chong
Let it be something|he is involved in, and I better|be the bi ggest cheerleader.
He is a huge baby.|Yeah, I hear you|with your fine ass.
But pass the blunt, boo.|Damn, you hoggin'|the whole shit!
I'm sorry.|[ Chuckles, Clears Throat ]
Whoa, I must be buzzed.|I'm babbling.
You know, you surprised me|by getting high.
You know, you surprised me|by getting high.
I'm not that much|of a square, Silas.|I did do it once in high school.
Whatever.|[ Laughs ]
What about you?|We all have secrets.
Well, if you act right,|I might just let you|in my head one day.
Whatever.|But I ain't sayin' shit|on the first date.
Who said this was a date?
You smoked my weed, didn't you?|And we almost kissed, didn't we?
We did not.|Yes, we did.
We did not.|Here, hit this.
[ Gasps ]|Oh, my bad.
Did I spoil the moment?|I can't help it, girl.|You know what?
Them shits|was talkin' to me.|You know what?
Oh, my God, look at them.|Turn the headlights off.|Stop it!
I'm gonna tell you something.|This pimpin' that I got|came from a family tree.
My granddaddy was a pimp.
My great-great-great-granddaddy||was a pimp.
I'm talkin' about|pimpin' been since pimpin'...
since been pimpin'|since been pimpin'.
It's in your bloodline.|It's in my blood,|and you will never be that.
- W-W-W-Why?|- Because, you was born,
all the people in your family|were assistant pimps.
You's a pimp.|I never deny you that.
I thought you was the one|the Lord chose.
If it had not been for the Lord,
I would not have had|not a bitch come into my life.
Goddamn, not a...|Not a hell, not a bitch.
Nobody say that now nothin'|like you say that now nothin'.
Not a now, not a bitch.|I still don't know|what that shit mean,
but it sound good!
Now nothin' mean|"don't get a now nothin'."
Now nothin'.|A now nothin' nothin' now.
- [ Gibberish ]|- Bitch, shut up|and drive this fuckin' car.
Y'all gonna make me|lose my mind
Up in here, up in here
Y'all gonna make me|go all out
Up in here, up in here
Y'all gonna make me|act the fool
Up in here, up in here
Y'all gonna make me|lose my cool
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
Ragi ng party|with open beer cans in hallway.
What's this?
Oh! Oh!
Sterilize hands tonight|with antibacterial cream|many times.
What do we have here?
Multi-socket extension cubes.
This is against campus|fire code section 1743:
"Thou shalt not allow|multi-socket extension cubes|in dorm rooms."
The extension cords themselves|are intertwined...
in the most flammable of ways,
and they're producing|an immense amount ofheat.
They could cause an i gnition|at any point and i gni...
I smack him with my dick|and the mike
Y'all niggaz is characters|Not even good actors
Hmm, let's add up|all the factors
You wack, you're twisted|your girl's a ho, you broke|the kid ain't yours
Wel l, I'l I be damned.|What is that?
It's just a baby.|[ Whining ]
[ Both Speaking Gibberish ]
- [ Nervous Chuckling, Whining ]|- [ Gibberish Continues ]
This ain't no damn baby.|What kind of shit is that|hangin' out the back?
I need to get her home.|Excuse me.
[Man ]|How's it going, Mad Hatter?|Come on.
Y'all gonna make me|act the fool
Up in here, up in here
We gonna kill|these motherfuckin' bitches,|huh?
Hey, look at them|bitches here. Look.
Hey, little baby bitch.
You little bitch,|you better get up off of me.|Where's my bitches?
[KnockingAt Door]
Yo, what's up, homies?
Where my bitches at?|Where our bitches?
You got the voice down,|but those outfits no good.
What's wrong with my shit?|Homey, please.
Your Halloween costume.|If you pimp, you broke pimp.|[ Laughing ]
You know you|fucked up, Woody.|Come on with it.
Baby powder?|What smell that is?|You changing diapers? Ah!
[ Coughing ]
[ Grunting, Screaming ]
[ Chattering, Screaming ]
What the fuck is all this?|What y'all three bitches want?
- Tell them, Powder!|- We already got pussy.|Y'all come back later.
I'm about to knock you|the fuck out.
I'm gonna do the knocking out.|Come on with it.
[ Women ]|Oh!
[Screaming Continues ]
[ Shouting, Indistinct ]
Come on, come on|Come on, come on
Where you going?|You gotta stay.
A party ain't a party|without you.
Campus-smelling|little motherfucker!
Plus, there's no room|in the limo!
I'll be back for you, man.
You ain't gonna need that.
- [Sirens Wailing]|- The cops!
Somebody owes me|for one night's worth of|flat-back fuckin' up in here!
[ Wailing Continues ]
This is exhilarating.|But don't get the wrong idea.
Megan and I have never done|anything like this before.
We're virgins. Mm-hmm.|Yeah, both of us.
Molly and I are really into|D'Angelo. Do you have any?
Ain't that a...|Hell, no, we ain't got no...
And while you're|sittin' in this car,|you don't run shit.
- Tell them, Powder.|- Dick drive this car, not pussy.
- [ Giggling ]|- Oh, you think it's funny, bitch?
This is pimpin' here.|I been on Wheel ofFortune,|Price is R...
- Oh, bitch. Come on with it.|- You'd ratherpiss eau de crude|than piss offPowder.
Oh, that's fine.|Keep on laughin'.|Bring your face over here.
- [Slaps Twice ]|- Pay that shit.
Oh.|[ Both Giggling ]
Wow. Ooh.
Man, come on.|You act like I took it.|Wejust get some more.
Man, ain't no more.|All of Ivory's ashes|was in just that plant.
Now let's go see what this|Dean "Stick Up His Ass" want.
He probably gonna curse us out|about that wild-ass party.
Man, that party|was not that wild.|[ Snoring ]
Yeah, it did get|a little out of hand.|You know what I'm sayin'?
Sex novelties,|obscenity, fighting,
indecent exposure,
rock bands,|without a permit.
Welcome, gentlemen,|to academic probation.
Damn, who gonna be our P.O.?
How charmingly ghetto.
You're dismissed.
We ain't got no Ivory,
we about to get kicked|the fuck out of here...
and what the fuck|are you doin'?
Oh, I'm workin'|on my truth serum.
Why you gotta sound|all belligerent about|my shit anyway?
Belligerent?|Yeah, belligerent.
As in abusive or truculent.|[ Laughing ]
Yo, you keep on usin' them|big-ass Harvard words,
and your ghetto pass|is gonna get revoked, buddy.
Why don't you go pick up|a book or something?
If I get this shit right,|I get an "A" in botany class.
- Ah, motherfucker.|- When I was 12,
I used to love watching|my dogs hump.
- We used to have a good time.|- [ Chuckling ]
[ Clucking]
- Whoa!|- Ah!
Oh!|Oh, oh, oh!
- What the fuck is that?|- [ Belches ]
I'm gonna have to tweak|this shit a little.
Me hungry.
I say we burn them books,
go to that graveyard,|find us a smart dead guy|and smoke his skeleton ass.
We sit down, blaze up,
hit the books|for a few hours a day,|we got this.
I'm tellin' you.|We don't need no smart dead guy.
Woo, hoo, hoo, hoo!|That's what I'm talkin' about.
Light that shit up.
Hit them books!
One, two,|One, two, three, yeah
In-slum-national underground|Thunderpounds when I stomp|the ground
Like a million elephants|with silverback orangutans|You can't stop a train
Sittin' in a drop-top|soakin' wet, in a silk suit|tryin' not to sweat
Hittin' somersaults without|the net, but this'll be the|year that we won't forget
One nine nine nine|ano domi ni, anything goes
[ Screaming ]| [ Continues, Indistinct ]
Don't pull the thang out|unless you plan to bang
Bombs over Baghdad| Yeah, yeah
Don't even bang unless|you plan to hit something
Bombs over Baghdad |[Jamal]|These are our midterms?
See what I'm sayin'?|See what I'm sayin'?|All "F's," son.
We are fucked.|Fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked!
How did I fail|women's studies?|I love bitches!
[ WolfHowling ]
What are we doing?|Looking for|a smart dead guy.
Well, guys, hey!
This guy'll do.|He's a president.
Yeah, he should know|all the fuckin' answers.
Answers?|What are you talking about?
Wait, no, no, no! You can't|dig up somebody's grave!|That's disgusting!
You guys don't think|that there's anything wrong|with this?
Huh? You guys are fucked up!|What are you gonna do|with this now?
[ Grunting]
[ Screaming ]|Ah, shit!
Oh, God!|Stop actin' like|a little bitch!
Get the body.|[ Groaning, Coughing ]
What the fuck|are you doing?|[ Coughing, Groaning Continue ]
Get the body. You should|have some more respect|for an ex-president, asshole.
Come on.|Put this shit on your back.
Oh, God, no!
Get up before I smack|the shit out of you.
Come on, come on, come on.
Oh, my God. It's so good.
Fly! Go fly!|[ Laughing ]
Yo, Silas.|What's up, dog?
- [ Screams ]|- Whoa, who are you?
Do you see me?
- Relax! Relax!|- Open, window! Open, window!
Yo, what the fuck|are we gonna do now?
Fuck you think we gonna do?|We gonna smoke his ass,
then we gonna start|askin' questions.
Wait a minute. Didn't|you put the ashes in the soil|before you grew the plant?
We ain't got no time for that|shit. We gotta grind him now.|Get this arm.
No, no, no, no, no.|Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,|wait, wait, wait.
This is|a motherfuckin' president, man.|What the fuck are we doin'?
You wanna stay in Harvard|or what?
Whoa, whoa, whoa,|whoa, whoa, whoa!
I Need Money,|did you check him for any|jewelry or money or anything?
Fuck all that, man.|Listen, I'm cuttin'|this arm now.
[ Crackles ]|[ All Screaming ]
Get the arm!|Get the arm, man.
Y'all calm down!|We got this. Calm down.
- [Jeffrey]|This is insane.|- Oh, shit!
[ Screaming Continues ]|You is a nasty|motherfucker!
[ Screaming Continues ]
[ Whimpering]|I can't smoke a finger!
- [ Coughing ]|- This shit's not workin'.
Hey, what up, bros?
I didn't know that you guys|were gonna be here.
I saved your plant.
What did you do to it?|This is a special plant.
- I know.|- You stole our plant!
Damn right, he stole your plant.|Yo, Silas, this idiot smoked up|all the plant.
You're gonna have to study|on your own. Damn, they can't|hear me or see me. Tell 'em!
Well, you know, someone else|was breakin' in here,
so I caught them|and you can give me a reward,|like more ofthe plant.
Man, we ain't got no more|goddamn plant!
Hoggin'all the good shit.|Okay, that's fine!|Let's go, Ivory.
- Wait. Ivory here?|- Yeah, maybe.
- Repeat after me.|- Repeat after me.
Yo, dog.|Yo, zog.
- Dog.|- og.
You idiot.|You idiot!
I'm disappearin'.|I'm disappearing.
- What?|- What?
- What?|- What?|- What?
[Silas ]|This reminds me|ofmy lab back at the crib.
I have some of the same stuff.|How'd you get that?
- I stole it.|- Just place them|on the wall there.
Um, well, well, well.|[ Laughs ]
Never thought|I'd find you two ghetto asses|up in here studying.
- Ghetto asses?|- Oh, did I say that?
Oh, it must be the effects|ofthe brownies you sent me.
They must still be in my system.
Lauren,|how's the project coming?
[ Nervous Chuckle ]|Fine. As a matter of fact,
I'm going to check on that|right now.
- You know, I got to go.|- No, no, no, no, no.
- You know, I got to go.|- No, no, no, no, no.
Yo, Dean.|Yo, why you gotta be a hater?
Oh, yes, I'm a hater.|I hate pot-smoking punks...
that think that everything|should just be given to them.
You two are an absolute disgrace|to this university.
Yo, Dean, man,|what are those?
Oh, these.|These are invitations|to the alumni celebration...
in which the vice president|will be attending...
and Lauren will be unveiling her|Benjamin Franklin experiment.
Certain students will be invited...|those that pass theirfinals.
For real?|But you won't pass|your finals.
You'll fail, and then I'll have you out|of my hair and out of Harvard.
[ Laughing ]|Happy studying, gentlemen.
I'm trying to do my thing.|It's pimpin' over here.
- Baby Powder, when you gonna|pay us our money?|- I got a $25 money order...
$25?|Money order?
- That you bitches can split.|- Who you callin' a bitch, bitch?
Come on with it.|I got you.
- If it ain't "Rice Puff Daddy."|- No, no, Powder. That's "Run M.S.G."
- Hey, what you listening to, brother?|- Wu-Tang.
Wu-Tang. Wu-Tang.| I came to bring the pain
Hardcore to the brain | Dollar, dollar bill, y'all
We don't listen|to that Chinese shit.|We do this. This what we do.
Oh, you can't dance!
You need to sit down.|Mm-mm.
I'm gonna round them|motherfuckin' almond eyes|of yours out, understand me?
Hold on, Powder.|Let's not get "ignant."
Maybe he just came here|to pay our money.
No, actually,|I come for your girls.|Ooh!
Actually,|you gonna come back and give me|them two duck sauces your mama...
[ Confused Chattering ]
Let me get my switchblade out.|Let me get my blade.
- [ Yells ]|- Ooh, shit!
Come on, bitch.|Man, it was two egg rolls,|It wasn't duck sauce.
- [ Yelling Continues ]|- [ Car Alarm Sounding]
Ooh!|Ooh! Ow!
Who the bitch now, bitch?|Bitch!
I need to slap|my goddamn self for that.
Pimps go through this kind|of shit from time to time.
[ Chuckling ]
[ Phone Ringing ]|Mm.
Yes, Dean Cain here.
Yes, I did receive them.|As a matter of fact,
I was just going over Silas|and Jamal's grades...
and I see they're all "F's."
Yes. I agree.
Very sad. Very sad indeed.
Yes.|Well, I'll speak to you later.
Yes, yes, yes!
[ Whistles ]|Dean Cain expects us|off campus by Monday.
It went that bad|in botany class?
Kid lost|about 1 5 pounds of fluid.
And that|wasjust from the mouth.|And I'm still below a 2.0.
Man, we gonna get|kicked the fuck out this school.
Maybe I can go back|to being your manager...
and you strip at that club again|like you used to.|[ Laughs ]
[Jeffrey]|No, we can't give up.
You can't let the dean win.
Did Commander Riker give up|when the Borg infiltrated|the Starship Enterprise...
and Captain Picard came back|all half robot?
The Borgs? They're here!
Oh, God, run for your life!|Oh!
My point is that you two...|My point is|shut the fuck up!
It's over.
And we out of here.|Wash my hands.
Silas, man, you can't give up.
If you get this|botany grade changed,|they have to keep you.
My... Yeah, my truth serum.|Yeah.
I gotta fix it. Yo!|That's right.
Yo, yo
Here's your coffee.
[ Silas ]|Nausea.
[ Laughing ]
Ah, Bart.|Nice to see you.
Listen.|I think I have a solution|to your little problem.
Oh, no. I already got|the prescription filled.|Zing!
Not that problem.|I'm talking about the boys.
Those rejects|have been rejected.
Yo, Dean Cain, look who's back!
- Dean, what a surprise.|Look who's here.|- How exciting.
Guys, we weren't expecting you,|but you're right on time.
Let's go meet|the next likely leader|ofthe free world.
What are you two doing here?
Couldn't have my future ex-wife|show up to some bigwig event...
without her daddy on her arms.
Ain't that right, baby?|Right, Daddy.
Old friends, fellow alums,
it's wonderful|being back here at Harvard...
where I get to see|my beautiful daughter.
Hi.|Hi, Daddy. Daddy.
Mm-hmm.|This is Jamal.|Jamal, this is my dad.
Ah, hello,Jamal.|Mr. President.
And I call you Mr. President|'cause I know you gonna|rock this election.
I hope you're right, son.|Uh-oh, camera.
All right, Ivory.|This is the last of you.|Do your stuff.
Ha!|Oh, hey, hey, hey, Professor.|What's going on?
Nice to see you again.|Listen. T oni ght,
I got a feeling you gonna|see my experiment work.
I hope we don't have|to pass out any barf bags.
Don't even worry about that.|See, I found my secret ingredient.
By adding a little bit|of chro... cannabis,
I was able|to counteract the nausea.
I'm proud of you.|Thank you, Professor.|Thank you, man.
- I actually feel wonderful.|- Isn't he great, Daddy?
He's great.|He's great.
[ Laughter ]
[ Mutters ]
- Good service.|- Hey, Jamie.
Here's your dad|after a frat party.
We don't want the dean|to get his panties in a bunch.|[ Mumbles, Indistinct ]
He might want to spank us!|Oh, sit down.
Wait a minute. I know|you all two ain't over here|playin'grab ass...
while I'm entertainin'|my future vanilla villa|father over there, are you?
Yeah, oh, yeah!|Yeah?
Man, look, man. The serum|workin', man. They hot, dog.|Look! Hey, man, look.
I got somethin' to tell you.|Man, I been pinchin'|your weed off.
What you tellin' me for?|Damn.
I don't know. I guess|it's that new serum, man.
I'm sorry, man.|That's okay.|Don't even worry about it.
No, it ain't all right, man.|Yo, I been takin' your CDs.|I been usin' your weed pipes.
I even been lookin' at Lauren's|ass a couple of times, man.|Whoa!
She's fine, and ifshe gave|me the chance, I would wax that|ass till she show me what she...
Whoa, whoa!|Hold up.
Jamal, I will take that|as a compliment.|[ Chuckles ]
[ Muttering ]
Thank you.
Thank you.
We all know that Harvard|has been honored to host...
some of Benjamin Franklin's|artifacts, which I personally found.
Like this cannon-like|article back here.
Now later you can take note|of the foot-operated carburetor,
the reservoir|and the top-loading bud bowl.
Ladies and gentlemen,|Harvard is now...
the proud owner|of America's first... bong.
[Audience Gasping]
[ Cain ]|A bong?
This is, this is outrageous!
IfBenjamin Franklin|were here today,
he would deny and denounce|any claim...
to these so-called findings.
I'm gonna have|to disagree on that.|[ Gasping Continues ]
Yo, Ben, tell this fool.|Is that a bong or what?
Yep. It's the liberty bong.|Light that shit.
[ Both ]|Smoke that shit,|pass that shit.
Yo, you gotta come|to this party, Ben.
- Hey, man. Hey.|- Come on, man. Smoke.
Oh, yeah!
[ Laughter ]
This is insane!
What are you all laughing at?
Dean, I have had it|with your uptight,
- self-serving,|overopinionated ass!|- [Silas ] Get 'im!
In short, you are fired!
- [ Gasps ]|- Hit the bricks, dog!
[ Funk ]| Get down with my girlfriend
That ain't right
The bi g payback
[ Continues Indistinct ]
[ Laughing ]
Yo, dog, man.|Look like you did it, dog, man.|You got a new serve, man.
You gonna be|an herbal scientist, my brother.
Me and you turned this place|upside down, didn't we?
Did we!|Amazing what two brothers...
from the P. can do with just|a little bit of opportunity.
Word.|Holler at your dogs, man.
I will, man.|[ Both Grunt ]
- [ Woman Screaming]|- [ Yelling ]
[Man ]|Secret Service!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!|Dean, Dean, Dean, ease up on|the black-on-black crime, bro.
[ Yelling Continues ]
Oh, this motherfucker done|messed up my shit!
Back up! Back up, nigger!|You better give me three feet!
Give me three feet!
- Whoa!|- [ Yelling ]
[ Yelling Continues ]
Hey, get up.| Oh, my God
Oh, cool.
Take him away, boys.|Take your hands off of me!|Do you realize who I am?
- What are you looking at?|- I Need Money, you talked!
Why, yes, Jamal.|It is somewhat|of a surprise to me also.
Lord, it's a gift!|It's a gift from above!|Make it float like a dove!
Make it scream like Michael|in a rhinestone glove.|Lord, Lord, Lord.
[ Both Speaking Gibberish ]
Popcorn player.|Popcorn player.
[Bong Bubbling]
[ Coughing ]
I didn't inhale!|Woo-hoo!
God, this is the wildest time|I've ever had.
[ Laughing ]|You won't mind that I'm bangin'|your daughter on the regular.
No, no!|Not at all.
Good, 'cause Jamal's|gonna be my baby daddy.
Ah, son, welcome to the family.
Daddy.|[ Snickers ]
Silas, your experiment|was a success.
Your serum worked, and you're|going to get an "A" in my course.
Ooh, Professor!|So that means I get to stay.
You betcha!|You can stay as long|as it takes you to graduate.
I don't care.|Right, ladies?|[ Together ] Mmm!
Shall we, ladies?
Hey, down here!|This is not happening!
Lauren,|you are coming with me!
Honey, you have never|satisfied me.
But I can.
The day you lay off|is the day you pay off.
We come in here|to get our old bitches,|but if they ain't in here,
we gonna get those|intellect bitches and start|our own new stable, feel me?
Just keep it pimpalicious.|Keep it pimpalicious!
Powder, what are you|doing here?|What are you doing in here?
Well, I've been rolling|this joint for 20 years.
But if these people knew|I was using your|Dial-A-Ho service,
they might not understand.
You are one|of my biggest customers.|You like them hand-jobs,
fat bitches pissin' on you|all the time.
I like the ladies.|Licking poodle feets and shit.
Just stop it right there.|Have you ever been to college?
- Yeah, two years Pussyology.|- Academia. I like it.
Give me a call next week.|I think we can work|something out.
Today's class is called|Pimpology I and II.
I'm one, that's two.|That's what your ass will be...
if you don't pass this class.
It got to come out right!|And if it don't come out right,
you ain't gonna get|the pimp tonight!
- Where my bitches?|- Where my bitches?
Come on with it...
and let it fly!
Not yourselves!|Shit!
That was deep!|That was deep.
[Man ] Ten.|Camera rolling shot on "A."|[ Woman ] "D" marker.
And another thing, I forgot|my motherfuckin' lines!
Yo, stop doin' that shit, dog.|You can't be laughin' at me.
Fuck my close-up up, nigger.
They know we stole the...|What is that?
I knew it.|You guys and your lines.
Can I get some pussy?|Sure. Come on in.
I told you we should have went|to U.C.L.A.
Man, damn all this.|I'm about to go stick my dick|in a Thermos or something.
Puffs of purgatory|for everybody. Line 'em up!
Puffs of purgatory, baby!|Puffs of purgatory.|Puffs of purgatory.
See each other no more.|I mean, the fuckin' around...
Ah, shit!|[ Laughing ]
[ Sneezes ]
I pledge allegiance to the pimp|of the united pimps of America.
[ Crowd]|Oh!
Come on, you fuckers!|Call action!
Uh-oh.|I don't give a fuck|if it breaks!
You hear me?|Goddamn it!
Turn that goddamn water off!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
- Cut.|- Cut.
- Cut!|- Cut!|- Cut!
The movie's over. Go home.|Why don't you get|out of your seat?
Go home! Go home!|All y'all.|Y'all don't wanna leave!
[ Woman Vocalizing]
Yo, ladies and gentlemen | Smoke cheeba cheeba|Smoke cheeba cheeba
We got Toni Braxton|up in the house
So high that I can kiss|the skies, bitch
We live up in here, y'all
How high, motherfuckers|How high
How, how, how, how|How, how, how, how
Yo, yo, yo
Tical shittin' again|Spittin' to win
L oad they guns clip in the end|None sicker than him
Yes, indeed|I'm ill as any S. T.D.|or sex disease
These dirty rats|want extra cheese
On that piece ofthe pie|Now ask me how high
Until you reach for the sky|Blame the crooked letter "I"
That's my home|Twenty three's|wrapped in chrome
Not only snap on y'all niggers|but I'll snap dem bones
Slap your dome|Make you leave|that crack alone
You got the key to the city|but the latch is on
I gots it locked|bringin' the noise
Bringin' the funk Dr. Spock|Bringin' my boys
Bringin' you lungs|Pop the Glock but only|if you feel this shit
Jack the Ripper|don't make me have to kill|this bitch
Back to get ya|Put it in check|That's the mista
Meth with his wood|on your neck|Shut your lips up
[ Vocalizing Continues ]
Smoke cheeba cheeba|Smoke cheeba cheeba
So high that I could kiss|the sky
Brick city|to the crooked letter I
L et's get, let's get|L et's get | Yo, yo
Yo, you can call on the man|when the party is borin'
I had these ho 's strippin'|till it's part ofthe mornin'
I love a fat chick|with a body enormous
It ain't about the weight, yo|It's how they perform it
My dash is 1 0|My weed half a pound
When there's smoke in the air|my nose is like a basset hound's
I don't stash the drug|Nigga, divide
I'm that nigga that ride|with a trigger to get a supply
High is how I stay|all the time
Niggas, close the door | Yo, bitches|shut all your blinds
If I'm hard to find|take two puffs and pass
I stayed back|but my Benz moved up a class
It's Dock and Meth|The format is real sickening
Contagious|We out for Mista Biggs women
You better shut your trap|when my dogs around
We pissin' on fire hydrants|so walk around, bitch
[ Vocalizing Continues ]
Smoke cheeba cheeba|Smoke cheeba cheeba
Yeah, so high|till I reach the sky
Brick city|and the crooked letter "I"
L et's get, yo|L et's get
Yo, let's get
Mista Method Man|puttin' in work foot in the dirt
Like it's all good roll|through your hood|pushin' a hearse
I wish y'all would come|around like Clint Eastwood
[ Vocalizing Continues ]
Haasil 2003 CD1
Haasil 2003 CD2
Habre Con Ella
Hafid - the sea
Haine 1995
Hairdresser 2003
Hakochavim Shel Shlomi 2003
Hakuchi - The Idiot CD1
Hakuchi - The Idiot CD2
Halalabad Blues 2002
Halbe Treppe
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Halloween - The Night He Came Home
Halloween 2 (1981) 23.976
Halloween 3 - Season of the Witch
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Halls of Montezuma (1950)
Hamam - The Turkish Bath (1997) 29
Hamilton CD1
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Hamlet 1990
Hamlet CD1
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Hamnstad - Port of Call (1948 Ingmar Bergman)
Hana-bi (Takeshi Kitano)
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Hand That Rocks The Cradle The 1992 23976fps CD1
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Hang Em High
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Hanging Up
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Hans Staden (1999)
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Harriet the Spy
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Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets (2002)
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Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone CD1
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Harte Jungs - Ants In The Pants 2000
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He Loves Me He Loves Me Not
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Head Above Water (1996)
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Hearts In Atlantis
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Heaven Can Wait 1978
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Heavy Metal - Gerald Potterton 1981
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Hedwig and the Angry Inch
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Hell is for Heroes
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Hellcats of the Navy - Nathan Juran 1957
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Hells Kitchen
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Henry V
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Herbal Tea
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Hercules in the Haunted World
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Herencia (Inheritance) 2001 (23976)
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Hi Mom 1970
Hidalgo (2004) CD1
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Hidden Fortress - Criterion Collection
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Higanbana - Equinox Flower - Yasujiro Ozu 1958
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Highlander III The Sorcerer 1994
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Hijo de la Novia El 2001
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Himalaya - lenfance dun chef
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Hiroshima Mon Amour - Criterion Collection
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His Girl Friday
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Hitlerjunge Salomon - Europa Europa
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Homme-orchestre L (Serge Korber 1970)
Homolka a Tobolka
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Hostile Waters 1997
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How Green Was My Valley
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How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
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How to Keep My Love 2004
How to Murder Your Wife 1965
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Hurricane 1937
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Hyojadongibalsa 2004
Hypnosis (Saimin 1999)
Hypnotic Doctor Sleep
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Hypo-Chondri-Cat The (1950)