In smalltowns you take what you can get-
-whether you like it or not. Your options are limited.
That's why many think life is less complicated in small towns.
They are wrong.
There are always choices to be made.
Make the wrong one, and you're in trouble.
Is something wrong?
No, no, no...
-Can't you stay? -I don't have time.
I have to get home to Gunnar. Magnus is leaving soon.
-Hasn't he lef tyet? -I don't think so.
-And you're here? -Yeah...
-You could have waited until he'd left. -What for?
I couldn't stay there any longer.
He keeps getting more distant. I think you should talk to him.
-Why? He's your husband. -He's your friend.
Did you know that worms are hermaphrodites? But they like sex-
-so they find themselves partners anyway.
After I get that sorter, I can produce ten million worms a year.
At one krone per worm, that makes ten million kroner!
Even at 50 Ýre per worm, I'd still net five million. Not bad.
I'm taking over the farm. Mom and Odvar are moving out.
Why would I want a farm all to myself?
Tuva, I want you to move in with me.
-You're kidding, right? -No...
Have you forgotten that I'm married and have a kid?
Magnus isn't exactly fulfilling his marital duties.
-What do you know about that? -A little.
Then why are we sleeping together?
For the sex. I thought that you as a man would understand that.
Is that all it is?
-Do you love me, Jonny? -Of course! Don't you love me?
-Sure. But I love Magnus, too. -So do I.
Put it on my tab.
-She's hot and ready. -As always.
Do you think you'll make any money doing that?
Do you call that work, digging around in crap?
I won't be doing the digging. Look at this...
This is an industry. My sorter will be here in a few days.
-Hi, Jonny. -Hi, mom.
Odvar, come look at the curtains for our new house.
She buys curtains, you collect worms, and no one helps me.
We might as well sell the fridge. There's nothing I like.
Yes, and we can fill the cupboard with canned meatballs instead.
I just want normal food for a change. Is that asking too much?
Do you know what I want?
I want a miracle. I want a bunch of miracles.
I want you to change. I want to start over when we move.
I want to be a better cook. I want you to stop being so grumpy.
I want the sun to shine. I want a new car and new boobs...
For God's sake...
No. No... No!
There are worse things in life than a bump on the head.
-Like chopping yourself in the arm? -Perhaps.
That was your own fault. This is random violence!
Maybe not. It may have been carefully planned.
Then you have to find whoever did this.
I chopped myself in the arm.The long arm of the law needs a bandage-
-and a tetanus shot. I'll be on sickleave for a while.
You have a concussion.
-How did this happen? -A work accident.
Try to relax for a couple of days. Don't overexert yourself.
This is my first day. Is it always this busy here?
I'll make sure you have enough business.
Hey, Jonny. Did you hurt yourself?
-That doesn't look good. -What happened?
You look great, Jonny.
If this doesn't get you some pussy, nothing will.
Jesus... Did you hurt yourself?
-Shouldn't you be at work? -Yeah, but...
What are you doing here?
-What's happened to you? -Someone hit me with a shovel.
Come on in, Jonny. Tell me what happened.
-Aren't you going to work? -I quit. I'll put on some coffee.
I was working on my worms, when someone hit me in the head.
I spun around, and after that I don't remember anything.
Who the hell goes around hitting people?
You can take off your helmet now, Jonny.
-Does it hurt? -Of course! What do you think?
-Did you quit your job? -Yeah.
-So you've been home all day? -Well, no...
You are one brave man.
-Are you kidding? -No.
-Why do you look so surprised? -Why would I do that to you?
-What makes you think that, Jonny? -Maybe it was you?
I've got to go. The doctor told me to rest.
Why did you quit?
Did she end it, or did you? Or did it just get old?
-No...That's not what this is about. -What's the matter, then?
I've been looking for that.
-Where are you going with it? -I need it.
-What for? -It's evidence.
Get in the tractor and help me.
I can't. I have a concussion.
-So you can't drive a tractor? -Nope.
-Can't you help your dad? -He's not my dad. Help him yourself.
-I can't drive a tractor. -I guess you'll have to learn.
Jonny, don't take it the wrong way if I don't do everything you ask of me-
-but we have to be careful about this.
This is a fragile community. Whoever did this-
-must have felt he had a good reason.
People don't become violent overnight. Think it through.
It's like with medicine. We cure the disease-
-not the symptoms. Got it?
You need to get to the bottom of this yourself.
Good man. I'll help you.
Did somebody drop a bomb on your head, Jonny?
-Can I get a beer? -You owe me money.
I owe everybody money. Can I get a beer?
Hi. I'm Helene. I'm new here.
I can see that.
If you just hurt yourself, it's not such a good idea to drink alcohol.
First you get dizzy from the injury, and then you get dizzy from drinking.
-What's your name? -Jonny.
-Who hit you, Jonny? -I don't know.
Just forget about it, and pretend like nothing happened. Otherwise they win.
Act like nothing ever happened. That's what I do when people are mean.
He's been there all day. He's leaving. I knew it.
He's been acting so strange lately.
Is he going on vacation?
Can't you talk to him? He won't listen to me.
For God's sake, Jonny. Be a man, for a change!
Carry him inside or knock him down. Just do something!
There you are. We were just talking about you.
I hear worm farming can be a tough business, Jonny.
I'm all right.
As you may have heard, we have discussed your case.
Amundsen, our chairman, wanted to talk to you.
We're not in the business of charity.
The problem is that you can't use the farm as collateral.
It's already heavily mortgaged.
Perhaps we could offer you some kind of investment loan.
But then we'd be talking about different numbers.
Do you have any customers?
These are order sheets.
The project is almost fully funded through these orders from anglers.
In addition,we have the production of compost worms.
This Newsweek article reveals how huge this market could be.
This is an emerging trend.
People compost foodwaste in containers under their sinks.
They need worms for that.
My worms speed up the process.
I also plan to import the necessary equipment for home composting.
All I need help with right now is distribution.
When will I get the money?
We'll hold off on the loan for a while-
-but I've arranged for a line of credit in the amount of 40,000 kroner.
-That's all I could do at the moment. -Fair enough.
-I'll go home and get things started. -Go to it!
How's the sun today, Uffe?
Are you interested in a job?
Come by tomorrow if you are.
Since it's you, you can have it for more than it's worth.
-How much? -Considering how much you owe me...
-and the fact that you're completely unreliable... 60,000.
-Jerk! -Business is business.
-I'm not doing charitywork here. -I've heard that one before.
This is a great chance to pay off your debt.
Do you like her? She's for sale.
How much will you give me for her?
50,000? I guarantee she's in excellent condition.
-What's the going rate? -50,000 is an excellent price.
45,000, and I'll handle the paperwork.
All right. You should listen to your heart when buying a car.
Hi, Tuva. What?
Can you hear that? What?
I'm on my way.
I'm pregnant, and you're the father.
Are you sure?
It'll be good for Gunnar to have someone to grow up with.
He shouldn't just play with rabbits.
Are you going to keep it?
-What about Magnus? -What about him?
All he does is take walks all day long!
Another work accident?
What business are you in, anyway?
I'm a worm farmer.
So worms can both hit and shoot?
Did you know that worms only have half as many genes as humans?
The worm is underrated. It's the ideal creature.
All it does is eat, shit and reproduce-
-without making a fuss. It's simple.
If you cut a worm in two-
-each half goes on living that same careless life.
God, I wish I were a worm right now!
He'll come back in when he gets tired.
It's his handwriting. I've tried calling. No answer.
-The County Council? -It's just a bad cover for his mistress.
Odvar has a mistress?
I have to use the bathroom.
Did he leave? Why didn't you do anything?
-Did you see who it was? -The County Council?
Not the Duett!
Your mom's fine, Jonny. She never did like that turn.
-Have you arrested her? -No. Are you crazy?
She's in the hospital. It's not serious. Just a broken leg.
We'll take the scrap deposit as a down payment on your debt.
-That sounds like a good deal. -I want to fix it.
Look at me, Jonny. What are you doing?
Can't you do something right for a change? This stupid car, for instance.
You run a worm farm, not a car museum.
And you're a cop, not my dad! Do your job.
This is what you should worry about.
Look at this. Who the hell goes around shooting people?
-Is that from an air gun? -Just forget it.
So this is your new car? That should solve your distribution problem.
Everything's going great.
-This is worse than I thought. -It can always get worse.
We need to talk to your mother, and tie up some loose ends.
The bank is foreclosing and auctioning off the farm.
That's very efficient of you.
We're only being realistic. We're doing you a favor.
Is it such a good idea for you to take over the farm?
Your so-called business really has nothing to do with the farm.
-Of course it does. -The board has discussed this.
Why not run it as a normal farm?
Of course, if you have lots of cash socked away, I'm not stopping you.
Give this to your mother.
We have another board meeting on Monday. I'm sorry.
-What are these? -Sleeping pills.
-And these? -Painkillers.
-How are you doing? -Not well, as you can see.
-How long will you be here? -Until I die.
-I can't handle this, Jonny. -We'll pull through. I promise.
I'm about to ship off a big load of worms. We can do it.
No, we can't. I can't, anyway.
If I don't die here, you'll have to finish me off.
A broken leg won't kill you, mom.
No, but unhappiness will. I feel like a caged animal.
When they're unhappy, they just lie down and die.
-I want active euthanasia. -No...
Yes, I do...
Do you have any buyers for that van?
Why? Aren't you going to fix the Duett?
You wouldn't consider letting me rent it?
I'll pay you after my first shipment. I have a load of worms to deliver-
-and I thought I could ask you for a favor, until the Duett is fixed.
We're not in the car-rental business. How much should I charge?
A couple of hundred a day, plus something for mileage.
-Doesn't that sound fair? -It sounds reasonable.
But I think we should stick to the original deal.
60,000 and the van is yours. Then we're even.
Until that happens, we have nothing to talk about.
-I think I'd rather fix the Duett. -I thought you didn't have time.
I never said that.
Do you want to borrow this? It's great for small dents and...
What's the matter?
-Has something happened? -No...
You're pregnant, mom crashed my car, and I'm broke.
-The bank's repossessing the farm... -What?
They're taking the farm. I'm bankrupt.
-Is the bank selling the farm? -That's what they think.
But I won't make it easy for them.
He's working on some Mexican dish.
And he's cleaned the entire house. He even waxed the kitchen floor.
-I just don't get it. -Are you complaining?
-No, but he won't say anything. -Go in to your husband, your family!
-Come in and eat with us. -I just ate.
Are you Jonny?
I'm Agnes. Nice to meet you.
-Have you known him long? -Since elementary school.
We were in the same class.
You can do what you want with the rest.
I sold the tractor to Amundsen. He'll be over to pick it up.
-Amundsen? -Yeah, he called the other day.
You might as well sell the farm to him.
He could use some additional land.
Is this a bad time?
No, it's perfect.
It's simple. You shovel dirt from the compost into this drum.
Rotate until only the worms are left, and lift.
Then you put the worms...
...in these containers, with a pinch of soil.
Put the containers in boxes, label them-
-and stack them over there.
-Okay? -Yeah, sure.
What the hell have you gotten yourself into now, Jonny?
You're still alive?
And Magnus... Is that you?
Did you quit your job, or did you get fired?
Jesus...What's up with the bad mood? Cheers.
Hi, myname is Jonny. I have a wife and four kids-
-and I work in a button factory.
One day my boss came up to me and said, ''Jonny, are you busy?''
I said, ''No.'' He said, ''Turn this button with your left hand.''
Hi, my name is Jonny. I have a wife and four kids-
-and I workin a button factory.
One day my boss came up to me and said, ''Jonny, are you busy?''
I said, ''No.'' He said, ''Turn this button with your right hand.''
Magnus, he's fucking your wife! Did you know that?
-But you don't care, do you? -Are you jealous?
Remember how far we could piss when we were younger?
Now you can barely get it past the tips of your shoes.
How long have you known about me and Tuva?
-All along. -And that she's pregnant?
-Yeah... -I knew it.
-Yet you haven't lifted a finger? -It's not that easy, with work and all.
-But I'm home now, so... -So everything goes back to normal?
-No. Thanks to you it won't. -You could have said something...
...before it went too far.
What the hell have you been doing? Screwing some bitch at work?
-That's not what happened. -I think it did.
I still think you're the one who attacked me.
You're a coward, Magnus! Just like back there...
You're bigger and stronger than I am. But I still have to fight your fights.
-Did you sleep okay? -What are you doing?
-I'm fixing your car. -I can do it myself.
I know that, but two repairmen are better than none at all.
-I don't need your help. -That's too bad.
I need an alibi, since you seem to think I'm a suspect....
-Tuva kicked me out. -Poor you.
You did all of it?
You must have worked all night!
Uffe, you and I are going to make this the best worm farm in the country.
Tomorrow we start delivering worms.
Anyone want a piece of me?
Come on, you cowards!
I'm right here.
Come on. Don't move a muscle, or I'll shoot you!
-What are you doing, Jonny? -Come on!
Helene? You're on my side.
Did you sleep well?
I never sleep well anymore.
-Am I under arrest? -Yes, I'm afraid so.
For how long?
You can leave now, but you'd better eat something first.
-I'm staying here. -Here? Great.
-I need some help building... -I'm serious.
I don't want to go back out there. It's time you did your job.
-You can't stay here. -I think you're behind it all.
But you hadn't expected that I would want to stay here.
That doesn't fit your plans.
I'll bet you know who's behind it. Want to bet?
You don't dare to. You'd lose. You're protecting the bastard.
Fine, I'll leave. Thanks for nothing.
I hope you've had fun. I'm never coming back.
Jonny, get back here!
There's food on the table. Enjoy.
Hi, Gunnar. Out for a walk?
What are you doing? Don't you know that's dangerous?
Answer me, you little shit. Are you insane?
It's been you all along.
Did you... Is this all your doing?
-Do you realize what you've done? -Leave my mom alone!
Your mom? Do you really think that would change anything?
Gunnar, I'm leaving now, and I'm never coming back.
But that's not going to make things better.
Nothing will ever get better around here. Only worse.
Are you out driving?
-Where to? I'm going to Oslo. -Oslo it is, then.
I have needs too.
Fritjof is the first man who really understands me. Laugh if you want to.
-I don't care anymore. -Neither do I.
-I just came to say goodbye. -Where are you going?
I don't know. I just can't stay here.
I hope you and Fritjof will be happy.
-What will I do without you? -You'll be fine.
You'll probably be better off without me.
l had to leave. I liked the job, but it was only temporary anyway.
Plus my sister's having a baby, and I want to be there for that.
I wantto have babies myself, so it's good to experience a birth.
I'll be better prepared that way. That's why I had to quit.
She's my sister, so I'll be an aunt for the first time.
That sounds pretty good.
Tell me about yourself, Jonny. We'll be spending some time together.
I only know what other people have told me about you-
-and you can't believe everything people say. So tell me.
-About what? -About yourself.
Why is your mom in the hospital?
Or are you a mysterious and secretive man?
I know more about you than you think, but I want to hear your side of things.
Your friends, your family, why you're going to Oslo...
-What are you doing here? -I want to leave too.
You can't just leave.
What about everyone back home? They'll be worried about you.
You said that nothing would ever get better at home.
I don't want to live there anymore. I'd rather go to the city.
-What are you going to do there? -There's lots of stuff to do there.
Put your seat belt on.
-Where the hell have you been? -I've just...
Think of it as penance.
I'm sorry I locked you up, but I've solved the mystery.
-You didn't expect that, did you? -No. Not like that.
-How's the bed? -It's not too bad.
-Why do you ask? -This is where we did it.
It's a nice cabin. You should rent it out.
We had sex here night after night.
While you were slaving away at the construction site.
Tuva and I fucked in here until the walls shook.
How does that make you feel?
Do you want to hear a story, Jonny?
People say that it's better to regret something that you've done-
-than something that you haven't done. That's bullshit.
I was heading home one day, when my foreman asked me for a favor.
I had already packed my car, but I said yes, to be nice.
He wanted me to fire up an old compressor.
It had to run for a while to build up pressure.
It had a belt drive with four or five big belts.
Listen to me, you prick!
I had nothing to do while I waited, so I just hung around there.
It was hot as hell. I was wearing nothing but shorts.
I don't even know why-
-but I started scraping loose gravel off the road with a little rake.
A bulldozer had been there earlier that day-
-and all I had was a little rake.
I made a nice little pile that I planned to sweep off the road.
Listen to me!
You're going to fucking listen to me, Jonny.
I ended up backing my ass into the compressor's drive gear.
I felt it tighten around my waist. It hurt like hell.
I figured it was just my shorts tightening around my waist.
But then I got that nauseating feeling, like when you hit your balls.
Then I blacked out. I was out cold.
When I came to, I was lying on the ground.
My shorts were gone.
They were spinning around the drive gear like a fan.
When I took a closer look, I could see my''equipment'' also hanging there.
So much for my manhood.
I wasn't myself again after that. It seemed so pointless.
I couldn't tell Tuva.
-Haven't you told Tuva? -I tried.
I called her from the hospital and tried to tell her.
But instead I pretended that I was busy at work.
I knocked a vase against my bedpan-
-to make it sound like I was working.
Everything has its price.
Especially vital organs.
-Did you get compensated for it? -Damages.
-Enough to buy your farm. -Idiot.
-Don't dick me around. -I wish I could.
I thought maybe we could all move in together.
Since it looks like we're all going to have kids together.
If it's okay with you.
Nothing turns out like you expected it to. Nothing is what you think it is.
The day when everything works out may never come.
But things can get better, even if they don't go as planned.
Sometimes you just feel that something is right.
That things fall into place, and that you can take a step forward.
Toward that day in the distant future.
That's what life is all about. It's not that complicated, just complex.
JFK (directors cut) CD1
JFK (directors cut) CD2
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Jaal (The Trap)
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Jackass - The Movie
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