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You guys know the drill.|I got to get ready for the game. - Damn.|{y:i}-Mr.Jeffries. Mr.Jeffries. Can I please have|your autograph? Yeah. Sure, kid. Ricky. A stamp? You're welcome, kid.|Stay in school. Be like Jamal. {y:i} Another monster dunk|{y:i}by Jam-all. The kid is on fire tonight. Kenny, that's what|I'm talking about. That six-game suspension|did him some good. His mind is right. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! - Come and get some of this, boy.|- What you got, smurf? What you got,|big smurf? Huh? Huh? Bam! Somebody catch me. Did I come down on you? If you had a little bit more game,|maybe you wouldn't be crying. If you were just a little taller.|A little bit taller. Here we go again. - What's up with that, man?|- I'm supposed to let you through? - Is that five?|- Yep. {y:i}Here's the problem. That's five fouls|{y:i}on Jam-all. One more, he's done. That'd set a team record|for disqualifications. - Hearn, get in there for Jeffries.|{y:i}- Ref, I was going for the ball. You need to watch the game.|You're missing a good one. -Jamal, you out, man. I got you.|- I ain't going nowhere. {y:i}- Go tap somebody else.|- Time out! - Time out! I was born with it, baby.|Don't be jealous. Don't be jealous. -Jamal, you're out.|- What do you mean I'm out? I'm out? I'm out of what, Coach?|What you gonna do, fire me? I'm the head coach.|I call the shots. Wait. Hold on. You may call the shots,|but I'm making all the shots. Coach, you see that?|Look at that scoreboard. That's me, bro. All me. You may be coach|of this damn team, but I "am" the team. There isn't a team in this league that|wouldn't kill to have a player like me. - They can have you.|- Yeah? And you can have this... Coach. Yeah, boo you.|You want something to boo about? Huh? How about this? - Yeah, boo you too.|- Boo! Yeah, yeah, boo you.|Yeah, boo you. This is the most disgusting display|of unsportsmanlike conduct|I have ever seen. How about this? - Oh, Lord.|- Change that to second most. - Ha!|- Oh, my God. You like it. You like it,|don't you, ladies? How you like me now? Last night|Beat guard JamalJeffries... gave the fans much more|than they bargained for... when he decided to get ready|for the showers a little early|at the Charlotte Coliseum. Say hello|to my little friend. How you like me now? I don't know what the big deal is.|We are all born naked. I like being naked.|Don't you like being naked? J.J., he sort of lost it tonight,|but, hey, it happens. I think we as professional athletes|got to be role models to the kids... because they look up|to us in the community. {y:i}Yo, Rasheed,you suck. Well, say it|to my face then, chump. Whatever the league|decides to do in this case... they won't get|an argument from us. The commissioner of basketball will|be having a press conference later... to announce what penalties|the league will be imposing. We were able to get|the reaction of Jamal's agent. I spoke with Jamal|earlier today... and, naturally,|he's feeling quite remorseful... regarding|his losing control. I happen to know, in fact,|that at this very moment... he's quietly reflecting on|his inappropriate behavior. Mmmmmmmmmm....|Ow! Give it to me.|Give it to me. Whoo! I love this game, baby! What's up? What's up in here? Having a|good time? Everybody having a good time? {y:i}- I ain't groovin'|{y:i}unless I got three booties. {y:i}- Throw your hands up!|{y:i}Throw your hands up!|- Mm-mm-mm. Look at that, out there|with the three skankateers. {y:i}Girl, I don't know|{y:i}how you put up with that. Honey, all these|tricks is dogs. But if you have to sleep in a doghouse,|it might as well look like this one. True. - Work it! Work it! Hey, hey, hey!|I know you hear the phone! You see me talkin' business.|Get the phone. Go get the phone! I ain't deaf. I got to rethink|cloning. Uhh! Yeah! - Phone call.|- What do you want me to do? I'm busy. Tell 'em I'm not here. - Sorry, Aunt Ruby, but Jamal|can't come to the phone--|- Aunt Ruby? Out. Y'all heard me. Out. Boy, what in the world is the matter|with you? Have you lost your mind? Have you plum|lost your mind? - I was ready to call you--|- Don't interrupt me|when I'm talking to you. - I know, but I'm--|- I said don't interrupt me. Yes, ma'am. I'm sitting here last night,|watching the game with my girlfriends... and the next thing I know|I'm looking at your naked butt cheeks. I read the TV guide,Jamal,|and nowhere did it say... that I would see my nephew Jamal's|scrawny ass on channel 1( at (:00. I know, Aunt Ruby, but-- You think you can carry on|any ol' way, any ol' how|just 'cause you feel like it? Answer me when|I'm talking to you, boy! - But you just told me not to interrupt.|- I don't care what I said. - Wait a minute. Is that music|I hear over there? - You having a party?|- No. That stupid girl got her TV up. Are you-- You know what? I'm not|gonna raise my blood pressure... and get upset|over this nonsense. Calm down. - Yeah, take a deep breath.|- Oh, Lord. {y:i}They talking about you|{y:i}on television,JJ. - They talking about me on TV?|- Is there an echo on this phone? Yeah! - Turn it on! I got to go!|- Hello? The league has had enough. Professional basketball|can no longer sit idly by... and watch its players undermine|the integrity of this game. {y:i}As of today,Jamal Jeffries|{y:i}is suspended, indefinitely. {y:i}No more questions, please. Hey, don't worry|about all that, y'all. This is all gonna blow over.|You know how it is. It's just the man trying to hold|a brother down. You know how they do it. Pro basketball needs JamalJeffries.|This is gonna blow over. Blow over. Trust me. No, Friday's|no good for me. No, Friday's|no good for me. You know what?|I'm gonna have to call you back. My client from Chippendale's|just showed up. {y:i}Yeah, all right. Bye-bye.|{y:i}Hey,Jamal. What's up, baby?|Shoot me straight. I talked to the Beat about an hour ago|and they've dropped your contract. Well, too bad for the Beat.|They can drop all they want. My stuff is guaranteed.|Jamal's contract's guaranteed. "Was" guaranteed. Yeah. There's a little thing|in the contract called a morals clause... and since, well,|you don't seem to have any... the contract becomes null|and his trusty sidekick void. So you the sidekick, right? Then|earn your money and get on the horn. Shop me around to other teams.|Come on, Tonto. Let's go. That's pretty much|how I spent my entire day. Talked to every team,|every single team. Nobody wants you.|You know why? You're a head case. Well, then bump 'em.|Bump 'em all.Jamal don't need them. {y:i}Send me to Europe.|{y:i}I like foreign women. And you know,|not a bad idea. Unfortunately, though,|it turns out... they call it|the ”worldwide web” for a reason. - That's your ass.|- Forget that. What about the CBA?|What about the Globetrotters? {y:i}- I mean, something.|- Globetrotters. That'd be fun. No. Nobody wants you,|not even the Clippers. - I thought you were my friend, Lorne.|- See, now, that's a problem. I'm not your friend.|I'm your agent. I was your agent.|That also is null and void. Wait.|What are you saying? Now you're not|gonna be my agent? Yeah, it's over.|I can't be your agent. That's silly. But I certainly|wish you luck. I do. And here's hoping you|invested your money wisely... - 'cause I don't see any fresh|cash coming in any time soon.|{y:i}-Ahh! Don't even need|to hear it. Bling. JamalJeffries's|got plenty cash. So don't you worry about me.|Okay? JamalJeffries is set, baby. Set. Broke? What the hell|do you mean I'm broke? You ain't got|no more money, dog. Chapter 11 . Chapter 11? What happened|to the first ten chapters? - Are you stupid? No money, man.|- Tell me, Mr. Business Manager... - what you been doing with all my money?|- You spent it all. - I spent it all?|- That's right. You spent it all. - I did?|- Maybe you got too many furs. - Why didn't you try to stop me?|- Tried to do that, bro. - You did?|- I sure did. Yo, Tina! Yo, baby, everything|gonna be all right. It sho' is. You still got a little|modeling left in you. {y:i}It'll be chump change compared|{y:i}to what I used to bring in... but it'll get us by until the|commissioner comes to his senses. Come on, baby.|Where you at? {y:i}I'm in the bedroom.|{y:i}I'll be out in a minute. Yeah, well, come on.|Ain't that much makeup in the world. You know I had|a rough couple of days. You ought to be rubbing|a brother down. {y:i}The Banshees! - Losing all control.|{y:i}-And they're back. I'm prepare to rumble.|Are you? {y:i}- Get your tickets today.|- I'll rumble with you. I'll rumble with you|all night long. - Women's basketball. What a joke.|-Jamal, I'm leaving. Okay. While you're out, why don't you|pick a brother up something to eat. I'm-- Baby, what you doing?|That's the good luggage. Don't make it easy on 'em.|Put this-- - What is that?|- My stuff. I'm leaving you. What do you mean|you leaving? The only reason why I stayed|with your lyin', cheatin' ass... is because you were|rich and famous. - But now you're neither,|so what's the point?|- What are you talking about? What about all the good lovin'|you was getting up in here? I packed it. The batteries too.|Good-bye,Jamal. Go ahead. Go ahead.|Yeah, you try to come back... you're gonna have to start|at the bottom of the list. {y:i}Yeah,yeah,yeah.|{y:i}That's why I'm leaving your broke ass. Yeah, plus your feet stink! All right, listen to me. You wanna|win this thing, it's real simple. You go inside and you act|like an adult. That's all. If you forget what that is, just look|around the room at everybody else. Hold on here.|I am calm, Loren. I am cool. And I am ready to collect my checks.|Damn, I look good. Mr.Jeffries, you have clearly|embarrassed the league, your team... {y:i}and I certainly hope you've|{y:i}embarrassed yourself. What is it you're here|to say to me today? Uh, I'm here|to say that-- I'm here to say that-- that what I did|was wrong, and, uh... {y:i}I sincerely, uh-- I am--|I'm sincerely-- He apologizes, sir.|He is very apologetic. This is not your arbitration|hearing, Mr. Daniels. {y:i}May I remind you|{y:i}it's your client's. He is the one|with the oversized ego... {y:i}that may be eclipsing|{y:i}his talent at this point. - Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hold,|Colonel Sanders. Hold on.|- Mm! Excuse me. ”Oversized ego|eclipsing his talent?” {y:i}Perhaps you haven't seen|{y:i}my game in a while, Pops. Maybe you need to trim|some of them mother-- |bushes off your-- head. {y:i}You'd be able to see|{y:i}my mother-- game.|{y:i}Don't try to give me no shit. - Take that. What you got, baby?|- I'm gonna show you what I got. {y:i}I'm gonna show you|{y:i}what I got right now. You still|ain't saying nothing. - Ooh! Jamal, you|holding up the game. - Here.|- Esther. {y:i}Uh, Esther,|{y:i}it's on you. - Come on, You old biddy.|play your card.|- This bra is killing me. You's a fine-lookin'|young man. Ooh! Damn! Okay, that's it. I've--|I've had enough of the bridge club. You ain't playing no more? No, no. Oh. I need to go|outside for some air. Why,J.J.? There's a CNN report|that says... too much inside air|is-is deadly. {y:i}While you're going outside... make yourself useful and pick up|some groceries for the morning. I ain't gonna fetch|no groceries. I don't do that|no more, Aunt Ruby. I'm a professional|ballplayer. I'm a star. You a what? You heard me. I'm a star. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Hurry back with|them groceries, star. Gonna talk back to me|in my own house. Your house? I was the one|bought you the house. You better get|out of here. Crazy ass. {y:i}- Man, what happened?|{y:i}- What you doing? Can't pass. Hey, y'all,|it's Jamal Jeffries. - Can I have your autograph?|- Yeah. Sure, kid. - Where's your stupid stamp?|- Ooh! - What?|- You heard me. Thought you were hot stuff,|didn't you? But look at you now. Look where your nasty|attitude's gotten you. - Girl, I'll take this--|- Whatever. Why don't you just go ahead and pass me|the ball, if you still know how. Ooh! Ooh! - Yeah.|- Yeah, yeah, yeah. ”Yeah” that. What you got, boy? Come on.|What you got? What you got? Boo-yah!|How you like me now? Lorne Daniels, please. Tell him it's Kobe Bryant|looking for a new agent. There you are, Lorne.|Jamal. - You can't stop me.|- Don't hang up. Listen to me. I'm calling to tell you about a|phenomenal basketball player I just met. Why? Because you were good to me and I|wanna be good to you. Listen to me. This is the greatest|basketball player you've ever seen. And get this, Lorne,|it's a girl. That's right. A girl. She a little rough|around the edges 'cause she's|straight up from the country. Get me Coach Rivers on the phone,|immediately. Immediately! - Yeah. - Time to get paid. - It's time to get paid.|Time to get paid. - Time to get-- get paid. - Ah, yeah. Uh! Uh! - Get paid. Get paid, baby. Get paid. Time to get paid.|Time to get paid. Jamal,|what are you doing? Um, I'm, um, trying on|your clothes, Aunt Ruby. Yeah, I gather that,|but what are you doing? I know this look freaky, Aunt Ruby,|but it's not what you think. Well, it can't get much better|than what I think. Jamal, there's no way|I'm helping you do this. - Aunt Ruby-- Aunt Ruby, please.|- Mm-mmm. Boy, get up off your knees|in my pants. Aunt Ruby! Jamal, when you were|in the sixth grade... {y:i}who was there for you when you|{y:i}traded your little baby cousin... {y:i}- for a new pair of basketball shoes?|- You were there, Aunt Ruby. You were there for me,|but I need you. I was there, helped you through it,|didn't ask no questions... didn't pass|no judgments, but this-- Boy, don't you give me|them puppy dog eyes. - Aunt Ruby, you have to help me.|You got to help me.|- Uh-uh.Jamal, no! Are you watching?|Are you watching? Good shot. Good shot. That's what I'm|talking about. Way to break it down. Lorne, practice is almost over. I think|your blind date just stood you up. Looks that way,Jennifer.|Coach. Sorry. {y:i}Listen. It's all my fault. I trusted|{y:i}somebody. I should've known better-- - I'm here!|- Hold up. Uh, Latisha. Guard her. I hope your game's|as tight as your ass. Girl, I chase chickens|quicker than you. I hope you can make that ball bounce|like them titties of yours. -Just keep your eyes on me.|- Come on with it. There you go. Boom! Sweet. Come on. Let's go.|Here I go. And... boom! - That costs money.|- Come on, girls! - Ball! Ball!|- Ball what? Too easy. - Yeah.|- Where did you find her? I heard about her|from a friend. - Ball!|- I got her! Damn. You made me miss.|That's blocking. What? Oh, please.|You got to be kidding me. She made me miss it.|Blocking. {y:i}Ladies, that's it. Nice job.|{y:i}We'll see you tomorrow. Uh, so, why don't|you call me in the morning... and maybe we can|work something out. Yeah. Thanks, Coach. What's your name|anyway, hotshot? - I don't know myself. What is it?|- Let's get pizza. You wanna? -Ju--Juwanna.|-Juwanna? - Yes.Juwanna, man.|-Juwanna Mann, Coach Rivers. - It's great to meet you.|- Nice to meet you, Coach. - You all right?|- Yo, I'm straight. - No, you not.|- And you must be Lorne.|- That's right. -Jamal's told me so much about you.|- Really? Didn't tell me|you were so cute though. Juwanna! {y:i}How's my favorite girl?|{y:i}Come on in. Sit down. - Oh, why, thank you, Mr. Daniels.|- Please, call me Lorne. You should be on a first-name basis with|the man who's about to change your life. - Oh, really? Gonna change my life?|{y:i}-Absolutely. I don't know how I did it.|Well, that's not completely true. This here is a one-year contract|for you with the Charlotte Banshees. - Oh, my Lord, are you kidding me?|- No. - Oh, my Lord!|- Mm-hmm. - Am I dreaming?|- No, you're not dreaming. Go ahead.|Pinch yourself. I'll wait. This is the first time in my life|I've ever been speechless. That is the beauty|of signing a contract. There's no speech really required.|So just go ahead and sign there. Don't I need to get a lawyer to take|a look at this thing before I sign it? Of course not. These contracts are|completely standard at this point. All the hard work's been done by me.|Just go ahead and sign. I guess it's better|than playing in the parks. - It certainly is. Right here.|- Right here? And here. And here. Juwanna.Juwanna.Juwanna. That's a lovely signature.|Congratulations,Juwanna. You are about to become|the newest member... of the Charlotte Banshees. {y:i}- Whee-ee! {y:i}I am so excited. All in one day I'm|starting a whole new life... and I have my very own|big-time agent. Oh, I don't want you|to just think of me as your agent. I'm also your friend. Oh, that is so sweet, Lorne. And I don't want you to only think|of me as just your client... because I am also|your ex-client, biatch. - Got you, didn't I?|- Oh, shit. Give me the fax.|Give it to me. - Give it to me. Give it to me. Come on.|- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mr. Daniels. Mr.-- - Give it to me.|{y:i}- Mr. Daniels. Mr. Daniels! - Your wife is on line three.|- Tell her I'm with a client, will you? Okey-dokey. - God, this is great!|- Uh-huh. {y:i}- Got your ass. Got your ass!|- Betty. Betty. Betty! {y:i}I want you to get Coach Rivers on|{y:i}the line immediately, as in right now! All right, okay. When Coach Rivers gets on the phone,|tell her the whole truth. Okay. I will. I'll tell her.|I'll say, ”Coach Rivers, yeah-- and trick you|into signing me.” That's not at all the truth.|I had nothing to do with this. What do you mean you had|nothing to do with it? All I did was tell you|about a phenomenal basketball|player, and what did you do? You set up the tryouts,|you negotiated the contract,|you brokered the deal, baby. You kind of created me.|You're Frankenstein. Oh, God. No, no, no.|No, this is crazy. {y:i}- No one's gonna believe you're a woman.|- You did. - This is blackmail.|- No, it's not. This is black fe-male. - That's not funny.|- What do you expect me to do? Basketball is the only thing|I really know how to do. And I have to make a living. So until you figure out how|to get me back with my team... you can just look for me|in the women's locker room, baby. The women's locker room,|checking out booties. Checking out booties. - Basketball booties.|-Jamal. I thought|we were friends. Oh. Now, see,|there's a problem. You're not my friend, Lorne.|Remember? You're my agent. {y:i}Thanks to you, Lorne,|{y:i}I'm gonna be a Charlotte Banshee. You're better|than Jerry Maguire. Somebody kill me! {y:i}- Y'all ready for this? - Who's ready to play?|Who's ready to win?|- Banshees! - Ban--|- Shees! - Ban--|- Shees! {y:i}Banshees! {y:i}It's the opening game|{y:i}of the WUBAseason. Hi. Welcome inside|the Charlotte Coliseum. Along with Jeanne Zelasko,|I'm Chris Myers. We have a terrific matchup|for you today. The Charlotte Banshees hosting|the two-time defending champion,|Houston Gallop. With all-stars in the lineup like|Michelle Langford and Natalie Kemper... {y:i}you have to believe the Banshees have|{y:i}a great shot at beating the Gallop. Jamal. -Jamal. -Juwanna.|- Lorne. {y:i}Ladies and gentlemen, please rise... {y:i}for the singing|{y:i}of our national anthem. {y:i}Singing for us today is multi-platinum|{y:i}recording artist, Romeo. You don't understand how excited I am.|My very first game. I saw television cameras. Did you know|this game is being televised? I sure did, and I'm still trying|to figure out what's my best side. - Here or my ass.|- I think-- - Promise me you'll try to fit in.|- I will try to fit in. All right.|There is no dunking in this league. I won't dunk.|I promise. Relax. It's not like I need to an"yw"ay.|I got to go. Now, keep your head up. Yeah. Keep your boobs up. For you. - For my baby.|- How sweet. - See you after the game?|- No doubt, baby. That boy drop more shit|than the bunny rabbit on Ex-Lax. But she's so blind she can't see past|his great, big ol' walking stick. Ain't that right, girl? - What's up, player?|- What's up, player player? Give me some, player.|What's the deal, baby? I'm just a squirrel in your world.|I see you're doing your thing. - You're looking at something.|{y:i}- Man, hot dogs and hamburgers, man. {y:i}She's all that and a baseball bat|{y:i}and a hot wheel track. I'm telling you,|brown sugar like D'Angelo. That's what he was|talking about-- right there. Oh! She gonna|block me out, huh? {y:i}-She with it though.|{y:i}- I know she with it. {y:i}Yeah, baby. Drop it like it's hot. All right! Yeah! {y:i}That's all right, girl!|{y:i}We get it next time, Natalie! Hit. Two shots. Yeah, that's a nice girl there.|She a little naive though. Foreigner.|Here on a visa from Oklahoma. {y:i}She gonna be|{y:i}a city girl before long. {y:i}She rooming with Sanchez. {y:i}That little hot tamale|{y:i}over there. That girl get around. Really? How awful. Awful. {y:i}Block out, Magda! {y:i}With that big-ass head,|{y:i}she could block out the sun. I said block out,|you Serbian knucklehead! - Way to go!|- So, what's your story? Me? I like|to keep it simple. You give me a good book|and a good bitch, I'm straight. I like you. {y:i}Yes, Natalie! Way to get in there! Time out! - Come on, Natalie!|- All right, Natalie! All right, hotshot. - Let's see what you got.|- All right, Coach. Now you're coaching. {y:i}There has been a substitution,|{y:i}and the new player is number 22. {y:i}Chris, that is Juwanna Mann. - Yo, you see that?|- That deserves a ”wow.” Wrong. Na-na-na-na. Beer and a popcorn. It's all right. Okay. {y:i}The ball is stolen away.|{y:i}What a move. No! No! No! Pass the ball! Don't dunk! {y:i}The 360.|{y:i}Another amazing shot. Ain't nothing sexier|than a woman with ball control. All right! Yes! Pass the ball!|Pass the ball! {y:i}- Here I go! Here I go! You ready?|- Ball! Ball! It's mine! Mine! 22, Offense. 22, hit. Technical right here. If y'all hadn't been playing|like a bunch of little girls. Coach, that girl has got to go. You|know she's the reason we lost the game. - She wouldn't even let|the ground touch the ball.|- I understand your frustration. The woman has|definitely got problems. You got that right. Her number-one|problem is I'm not playing with her. You're gonna have to.|We just got Natalie's MRI back. She tore her ACL.|She's out for the rest of the season. {y:i}And I'm makingJuwanna|{y:i}her replacement. What? But she's nothing|but a ball hog, Coach. You're gonna talk to me about ball hog,|”Miss I Got Game, I'm All That”? - I wasn't as bad as her.|- Michelle, you need to step up. You're captain of this team,|and I'm expecting you to help me|turn this woman around. I'm in a messy situation. I'm stuck,|and, basically, we have no choice. {y:i}That was quite a performance|{y:i}you had out there today. What, 15 points|in the second half alone. It was, but it would've been 16 if y'all|would have just picked up the pace. Listen to me. I know I'm not|the captain of this team yet. But you guys wanna win, you're gonna|have to find a way to get me the ball. - What?|- I can't pass the thing to myself. I probably could if I worked at it,|but we're supposed to be a team. - Teamwork.Just what|we need to talk about.|- That's right. Forget it. Look. You know, I'd love to work with|you on your game, if you're up to it. Go over the playbook|with you... make sure you understand|how the Banshees-- How you gonna work with me on my game|when my game doesn't need any work? Didn't you see it? But I'll be more than happy to help you|with a few pointers on "your" game. I'll be really happy to do that--|Oh, my God. Lord, what are you doing? Taking a shower, Einstein.|Aren't you? Hell, yes, I'll take a shower with--|shower soon as I get home. {y:i}I got to do it as soon as I get home.|{y:i}I really can't take showers in public. Things crawl up in you|and you never find them. Whatever. Boy, I love this league. What part of”don't draw attention|to yourself' did you not understand? Lorne, I'm sorry. They were screaming|and cheering for a brother-- a sister. What was I supposed to do?|Play like a bitch? Yes, play like a woman.|That was your plan. - Calm down. Chill out, man.|- You're right. I got to calm down. I'm overreacting.|Absolutely. I'm not used to going to a game|and praying that my client's|boobs don't fall out! You keep this up, I'm gonna be|booking clowns at birthday parties. That's your problem. My problem is I|need a shower. I sweat more as a woman. {y:i}Jamal, please. {y:i}I'm fairly certain|{y:i}I can get you an arbitration hearing. But until then, I need you to keep|a low profile. That's all. - Okay.|- Can you do that? I can do that, Lorne.|I'll keep a low profile. I promise. Damn, you're gonna have a heart attack|if you keep that shit up. - Yeah.|- I'm telling you. Bye-bye, Lorne. What a snake. I knew it. {y:i}- Holler at ya.|{y:i}- I'll holler at you too. - Hold up, little girl.|Let me tell you something.|- Ooh! You are one tall|glass of water... and I'm telling you|”scraight” up, I'm thirsty. - What in the hell are you?|- You don't know who I am, do you? - No, I don't. Who are you?|- I am Puff Smokey Smoke. You wanna kiss it,|don't you? That's right. Uh-huh.|Rap extraordinaire. I also sang background|on Romeo's last album... ”Where There's Smoke|There's Firestone.” Oh, really? Well, you can sing|backup for me right now. Just back right on up. Thank you very|much, Mr. Puffer, but I have to go. Drive careful now, baby... 'cause you are|definitely precious cargo. You ready? You ready? Pass the ball.Juwanna! Juwanna. What the hell are you doing? Well, I'm sweating.|I'm breaking down the defense. {y:i}I'm wearing these chumps out,|{y:i}making all the shots. Take your pick. You know what? Practice is over.|Michelle, don't leave. Stick around. {y:i}This is about you|{y:i}and Juwanna. Listen, missy. I want you to take a look up here|and tell me what you see. What I see are a bunch of empty bleaches|that I'm about to help you fill. {y:i}- That's what I see.|- Very funny. You're a funny lady. I see a sign that says|the Charlotte Banshees. My eyes are fine, Coach. Because it says|the Charlotte Banshees... and not|the Charlotte Ju-wanna. {y:i}And if the Charlotte Banshees are gonna|{y:i}have any chance of winning this season... I have to get my two strongest|players here to try and work together. Otherwise, we're screwed. So, you're gonna play|with Michelle here... one-on-one... and one-on-one|and one-on-one and one-on-one. Hey, how about one-on-one? Until you start to get|with the program. You got it? Yeah, I got it, Coach. Mm! - You ready for this?|- What you got? Come on. - You're gonna need a pen and paper.|- That's all right. Come on. - Are you ready?|- What you got? Ooh! Boom!|Sorry about that. Oh! Now, that's what|I call an ass-ist. Ha ha. Ooh! Boom! That's game. You really think|you're something, don't you? Well, I got it going on.|What can I say? Born with it. Here we go. The jokes.|Look,Juwanna... {y:i}this might be a joke to you,|{y:i}but it's not to me. You got some big balls,|don't you, girl? Yeah, yeah, but all your arrogance|and all of that showboatin'... that doesn't scare me,|'cause I know it's just a cover. Because underneath, you don't trust|anybody but yourself, girl. And that's exactly where you|gonna end up, by yourself... if you don't start|to trust your team. And we'll be right back|with more of "Oprah." Are you done? No. Don't get me wrong.|You got mad skills. You're good. But one player can't|win games by themselves. We need teamwork. - So you think I got skills?|- Yeah. I'd like to be able to do some|of them moves I saw you do. - Wrap around.|- I'd sure like to show you|some of them moves. - What?|- I sure could show you|some of those moves. - It's real easy.|- Good. See, now we talking. I have never seen anybody pick up|some moves quicker than you. I have never seen anybody pick up|some moves quicker than you. - You were stormin'.|- Well, you know. You know. - Romeo! Hey!|- What's up, girl? What you doing? I couldn't roll through Atlanta|without my baby. -Juwanna, I got a ride.|- All right. Bye-bye. Bye. You have some trouble there,|little lady? {y:i}My door's just stuck.|{y:i}You go right ahead. I can handle this. - I don't want you to strain yourself.|- That's what you get. I guess you don't need|no man's help after all. - No, I don't need a man, but thank you.|- It's like that. All right. Hey,Juwanna, You wanna hang out|tomorrow before our trip to New York? - Oh, I'd love to.|{y:i}- Cool. -Just you and me, right?|- Yeah. - It's a date.|- All right. What's up, baby? - See you later.|- Bye. I can't stand him. Bam! - I got a little surprise for you.|- What is it? I love surprises. You do? Good. Because I have booked us|for an entire day of beauty at the spa. Spa? So relaxing. - I'm looking forward to this.|- Mm-hmm. I'm looking forward to it too.|I'm feeling relaxed already. Hi. Oh, yes. Where did you|leave your wings, you angel you? Oh, my God.|Lord. Who are you? Slow it down now. Oh! - Ooh! Slow it down, sailor. Ooh, Lord. Ow! Oh! Is there a medic? Ooh! Thanks, Susie.|We'll see you next time. Yes. Bye, Susie. So, how you feeling? Oh, Lord, girl, if I was any number,|I think I'd be dead. Get a good night's sleep.|We got that 7:00 a.m. flight|in the morning to New York. Don't worry about me.|My alarm's set, sweetie, right here. - Right here.|- Good. - Was that your first time?|- First and last, sweetie. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord.|No, I don't need this. And he's white.|Okay, I can do this. I can do this. {y:i}Morning, Officer. Nice morning,|{y:i}isn't it? Sun shinin; {y:i}Birds a-chirpin; Anybody tell you|{y:i}you look like Mel Gibson? Do you have any idea|how fast you were going, ma'am? Well, see, actually, Officer,|my speedometer is broken on this car. And I was looking at it, but--|How fast was I going? - I clocked you at 50.|- Is that a little too fast? - I'm gonna have to see your license.|- Oh, Lord. You really think|we need to go that far? I'm not even sure if it's in this car.|I might have left it in my other car.|It's a Benz. Well, you better have it or I'm|gonna have to impound this car... - and you and I are going|for a little ride.|- Where we going? Here it is right here. You know,|Whitney Houston's my cousin. JamalJeffries.|Who's JamalJeffries? - That's me, Officer.|- That's you? - Uh-huh.|- You expect me to believe that? Well, it's true. You see, the thing is-- I'm not armed. I just recently had|a little operation. You mean, one of those|operations where you-- - Uh-huh.|- So, you no longer have your-- - Uh-uh.|- And now you have a-- Yes. - Get out of the car.|- Excuse me? {y:i}- What is the problem?|- Out of the car. Come on. - Is there a problem, Officer?|- Step away from the vehicle. - Away from the vehicle.|- I'm not gonna have|to spread any eagles? Come on. Spin around. - All right. How about this?|- All the way. You look fabulous.|I'm having it done too. I'm only about a thousand dollars away|right now. Who did you? Well, whoever it was,|they did a great job. I got my post-op outfit all ready|and waiting, hanging in my closet. - It's got little ruffles on top.|- Excuse me. Thank you very much. Officer, trust me. I believe you're|gonna look great when you get it done. - But I'm really in a hurry.|I really need to go.|-Just forget the ticket. - Well, thank you. Thank you so much.|- No, not at all. - You're gonna look great.|- You think so? - I know so. Turn to the side.|You're gonna look great.|- You think so? Yes. Make sure they get those nose|hairs, especially on the left side. {y:i}You're gonna look great. Thank you|{y:i}very much, Officer. You have a good day. Juwanna, they're|double-teaming you every time. If you don't start letting go of|the ball, I'm gonna sit your ass down. - All right. Banshees on three.|One, two, three.|- Banshees! Juwanna, remember what we|was working on back home? Not now.|I'm in a zone, okay? {y:i}Pass the ball.|{y:i}Pass the ball. Pass the ball! - Pass the ball!|- Pass the ball! - You ready to play? You ready?|-Juwanna! Move back! Move back! Yeah! That's what|I'm talking about. Nice job,Juwanna! Way to pass that|down, baby. You my dog! You my dog! Great shot. Great shot. Great shot, Magda.|Good shot. All right, get in here.|Listen up, ladies. We're gonna run green,|penetrate left. Squeeze. A little breakdown,|go right... and squeeze. Let's win this thing.|On three. One, two, three! - Whoo! Ladies, listen up.|I got a couple of things to say here. First of all, uh... you guys played|one hell of a game tonight. I hope there's plenty more|where that came from. For those of you who are new to the|Banshees, we have a little tradition. - After every victory-- That's right-- we give away a game ball, and tonight it|should come as no surprise... that the ball goes to...|Juwanna Mann. {y:i}Yeah! Good game,|{y:i}Juwanna! - Hey,Juwanna, kick it out. I'm open. Thank you, guys.|I really do appreciate it. Oh, look at her getting|all misty up in here. {y:i}I really do. I mean it. But I think that since Magda|actually made the winning shot... I think I should|share this with her. You share ball with me? Oh, thank you,Juwanna.|Thank you. - Oh, no, you don't have to--|- Thank you. Thank you. Precious time. Let's shower up|and get the hell out of here. Good job, ladies. Nice work there. It's just superstition.|Never take it off after a win. Never take it off. You was really getting|your game on tonight,Juwanna. I have a feeling that we're gonna have|a really good season this year. Oh, yes, we are.|Whoa! Look at you. Isn't this cute?|I got it at Victoria's Secret. Mm-hmm. Whew. Well,|the secret's out. {y:i}It's just perfect|{y:i}for the road,you know? You can just keep it|comfy and simple. Mm-hmm.|Comfy and simple. Damn. I am so sore tonight. - Really?|- Would you mind rubbing|a bit of this on my shoulders? Oh! Mm-hmm. - I'll be more than happy to. Yeah.|- Thank you, girl. - Yes. All right.|We can do that for each other.|- Thank you. We was really|balling tonight, huh? - Mm-hmm.|- Such teamwork. Mm-hmm. Ooh. That feels good. Yes, that was one... velvety smooth game. I just get so stiff sometimes|after the game. Do you? - I'm starting to.|- Hmm? I'm starting to get stiff|right here. Right there. - It's catching up with you?|- Mm-hmm. - Thanks, girl. I appreciate it.|- My pleasure. - You want me to put|a little bit on you?|- Where? No. I'm fine. I'm just cool.|I'lljust sit here and hit the old hay. Good night, Mr. Romeo. You just so fine. {y:i}- Don't leave home without him, huh?|- You got that right. He goes wherever I go. You think Romeo takes your picture|when he goes on the road? Hell, I'm sure of it. I glued it|to the inside of his suitcase. I'm just saying, uh,|I know Romeo's a man... and I do know men,|if you know what I mean. All I'm saying is, girl,|I trust my man. Do you love him? {y:i}Look,Juwanna, I've never|{y:i}not had someone, and... even with the doubts, which I'm|not gonna lie, there are some... it's better than being alone. I'm not so sure|about that, Michelle. {y:i}Oh, wow. Look at these tomatoes.|They're looking good, Aunt Ruby. Uh-huh.|Hey, baby, how did it go? It went great, Aunt Ruby. The game|was off the hook. I was off the hook. They gave me the game ball.|And, Aunt Ruby... I really think Michelle and I--|we're getting tight. Oh! You like her,|do you? Yeah, yeah.|Yeah, I think I do. - And she likes you?|- Well, she will. I just got to keep working it.|She just starting to get into me. - Get into you.|- Yep. Have you lost your mind? - What?|- You a man posing as a woman. She don't want you.|She wants a girlfriend. The second she find out you got a extra|piece of equipment between your legs... what you think|she gonna do? Juwanna, I have been looking|all over for you. We've got a table|right over there. What's the matter?|You don't like my outfit, huh? I told my girl|this Pebbles do-- - No, no, no, no, no. - What?|- It's just-- You look|so beautiful tonight. Thank you,Juwanna.|How sweet. What do you mean, ”Thank you”?|What ever happened to ”Same to you”? Oh. I'm sorry, girl.|Same to you. You looking good, girl. - That's what I thought.|- Puff gonna love you in that dress. - What? ”Puff'? I don't smoke.|- Puff. You remember. Over there.|Romeo's friend? {y:i}- You remember him. Look.|{y:i}- Oh, my Lord. You did not just set me on a date|with that Carolina river cricket. - I thought I was doing you a favor.|{y:i}- You call that a favor? - He really likes you, girl.|- He can start liking somebody else. - I'm up out of here.|-Juwanna, please don't leave. I promised to Romeo|that I'd hook you guys up... and it would really mean|a lot to me if you would stay. Please. For me? - Be nice. I found her.|- I'm gonna try my best. - How you doing,Juwanna?|- How are you, Mr. Romeo? Well, well, well. - If it isn't Juwanna Mann.|- How you doing, little Puffy? All good. I have to admit you are|looking so hot tonight. Sss! Whew! - Thank you.|- Let me ”ax” you something. - What do you wanna ”ax” me?|- Did it hurt? - Did what hurt?|- When you... fell from heaven. Hallelujah!|It's called the bird. Watch the wings. Let's have a seat.|Let's have a good evening, huh? I got the chair.|Sit on-- Good evening, folks.|Would you like to hear the specials? Don't wanna hear any specials.Just|get me a Cosmos, heavy on the vodka... and just keep pouring 'em and|pouring 'em till your arms get tired. - I'll have a glass of champagne, sir.|{y:i}- Hold up. Hold up. My man, bring a bottle of your|best champagne for the table. Have we decided on dinner|or do you need some more time? - Don't need any more time.|- Ah, ah, ah. Stymie that. That's when you|going country. O-7-3-5-7! The young lady wants|a fil-let mig-non. You know, little hunk of meat,|little pink on the inside. {y:i}- I'll have the, uh-- - I'll have the snapper.|- Girl, you on fire tonight. I like it though.|I like it like that. - I'm gonna run off|to the little ladies' room.|- I'd better go with you. No, no, no. - Well, the restroom's right back there.|- I can do this. You know, that could|be us out there, right? - Hey, hey, hey! Back your ass up. Yo, Puff, let me holler|at you for a second. Yo, check it out. Take the keys. Take my car.|Look like I'm gonna be kickin' it here. You kids be safe,|if you know what I mean. Funk. Nice crib, young lady. - You mind if I got something to drink?|- I ran out. - How about if I use your bathroom?|- It's broken. I'm mighty tired.|You mind if I crash on the couch? Don't have one. - You mind if I use the phone?|- Listen to me. My line's dead. Just cut the crap.|You're not getting into my house. You don't need to come into my house.|You don't need to use the bathroom. You can't sleep on my couch. I don't|need you to checking for any burglars. And I don't have any aspirins|for your fake headache. I'll tell you what. You're not|getting inside of me or my house. So you and little Puffy can just|get to steppin'. Get to steppin'. - How about a little kiss?|- I ain't giving you no little-- Eew! Giving you no little kiss. All right, then, good night. But you|know I could use a little sugar. I-- That's what you can use.|That's exactly what you can use. Well, I guess no means no. You're just a big ol' man.|Now give me a big ol' hug. Go right on over there.|Now, what is your name? Jerry, you're gonna get one|”To My Friend Jerry.” There you are. Juwanna Mann.|What's up? Oh, my God. {y:i}Aren't you getting dizzy? We ain't been here six hours and already|you got some meat sending you flowers. You move that fast on the court,|you'd be league MVP about now. {y:i}Are you two done?|{y:i}'Cause they're not even for me. They're for Miss Juwanna. {y:i}{y:i}Ooh! Give 'em here|before you wilt 'em. Let's just see|who they from. Can I read|my own card, Lizard? Let's see now.|”Roses are red, violets are not... Love, Puff Smokey Smoke.” He's your mother's sister. Oh,Juwanna. Oh, please. Trust me.|Puffy's not my type. Anybody who sends me roses|is definitely my type. Hell, bitch, someone|passes you the salt, he's your type. Lizard, that's cold. I'm gonna tell you ladies|what my type is. Somebody who sends you flowers|for no reason at all. You know? {y:i}Just because|{y:i}it's Wednesday or whatever. {y:i}And that's special.|{y:i}Yeah. - That's the kind of guy you hold on to.|{y:i}- Well,you know what I like? {y:i}I like it|{y:i}when a man tells you... you're the most|beautiful girl in the world. {y:i}-Aw, girl.|- Oh, Lord. I hate to burst|your bubble, Mother Teresa... but a man would tell you|anything to tap that ass. {y:i}You got that right. I'm gonna let you guys in|on a little secret. It's not that I'm easy|or anything. It's just you got|to trust me on this. The key to men is breaking through|that little code they have... {y:i}that little double-talk. And what about when they take|a baby girl out to dinner... talk about you can eat|whatever you want, money's no object? All that means is, if I'm spending|this kind of money on your gut... when I get home, I want some|of baby girl's-- That's all that is. And y'all all know|the Mack Daddy line of them all. Now, say it with me.|”I promise, baby... I will call you tomorrow.” - Amen, girl!|- Hallelujah! And what about when some men like|to brag about the size of their manhood? When we know it ain't the size of the|boat, baby, but the motion of the ocean. Can I get a ”hallelujah”? Can't get a ”hallelujah”? What you talking about,Juwanna?|The size of the boat don't matter. - I want the "Titanic."|- You got that right! All right, ladies, listen up.|No practice today. Cool! All right! The team has|a new insurance policy... so each one of you needs|to take a new physical. Come on, y'all.|Let's go knock this out real quick. Juwanna Mann? When was your last period? My last period.|Okay, I had a game three days ago... and I played|the whole game. - So two periods.|- Oh, no, no. You crack me up. No, be serious.|Your menstrual period. Oh. Oh. Um-- Um-- Menstruation period.|Let's see here. Last Thursday. Yes, I think|I unplugged last Thursday. And any signs of gonorrhea,|syphilis or chlamydia? - Don't have any sisters.|Am I done yet, Doc?|- No, no, no. I need for you to disrobe,|and I'll step right outside... and I'll be back|in just a few minutes. Excuse me. You want me|to take off everything? Every little stitch. {y:i}Miss Mann. - Everything all right in there?|- I'll be right there, Doc. Miss Mann. I'm coming in, Miss Mann. Bam! I must be|in the wrong locker room. You can't go in there.|Mr. Daniels is a very busy man. Who do you|think you are? {y:i}Oh. Betty, it's okay.|{y:i}It's fine. Thank you. Thank you very much, Betty.|Thank you, Betty. Wow. A third career.|Where the hell do you find the time? I'm telling you right now. I'm through.|I'm finished with this. I'm out. - I'm getting out.|{y:i}- Okay, all right. Have you checked|with Juwanna on that? I don't need to ask Juwanna.|I am Juwanna. I just left a doctor who|was about five minutes away... from a handful|of Juwanna's nuts. All right. I just thought you|might wanna run it by her... {y:i}because, well, considering all|{y:i}the offiers I've been flooded with. I don't think you're hearing me.|What do you mean, ”offers”? Reebok, Coca-Cola,|{y:i}Sports Illustrated for Women. {y:i}Yeah, it turns out|{y:i}that Juwanna... is every advertiser's|dream come true. {y:i}She's easy|{y:i}to get along with... {y:i}considerate of others,|{y:i}a real team player... pretty much|everything you're not. So, really, all you have|to do is jump on board... with any one|of these advertisers... {y:i}you'll be making more money as Juwanna|{y:i}than you ever dreamed of as Jamal. You're not getting it.|You're just not getting it. I don't care|about all that anymore. Listen. I did this for one reason,|and I did it for one reason only. I did it so JamalJeffries|can get back into pro ball, man. I wanna be back with my team,|and that was it. That's it. Then I'll tell you that the network|is pressuring the commissioner... and you're probably|gonna get another hearing. In the meantime, you might consider|taking advantage of the Juwanna train... while the railroad|is still in business. You might wanna stop worrying|about Juwanna so much... and worry about Lorne, 'cause this|is about saving your career too. Romeo. My baby sleeping. {y:i}- Romeo? - That's my name, baby. That's my name.|- Romeo? Hold on, baby.|I'm almost finished. Romeo! Who are you in my bed?|What are you doing in my house? Baby, hold up. It ain't me. Groupies. Hel-- Hello.|-Juwanna, it's Michelle. - I need to talk to you.|- Girl, why are you crying? {y:i}I knew you wanted me. I knew it was just|{y:i}a matter of time, baby. What you want? {y:i}Six, five, four... {y:i}three, two, one. Happy New Year! You see that, Michelle? Being alone|doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Juwanna, how come I couldn't see|what Romeo was doing behind my back? It was probably the glare|off Puff Smokey's teeth. I know. I know. - It hurts like crazy now, sweetheart.|- Bad. But you trust me.|You are so much better off. I just hate being wrong. Don't you go blaming yourself|for this. No, you don't. You don't blame yourself|for that low-down dirty snake. Sweetheart, some men just don't realize|what they've got till it's gone. Now, you trust me. One day he's gonna know. Thanks. Juwanna, you are|such a good friend. That's why I like you,|'cause you just keep it real. You know?|No perpetrating with you. You're just you. - Actually, Michelle,|there's something--|- And you know what else? I'm gonna quit all|of this crying and trippin'... and I'm just gonna move on. - That's it. Move right on.|- Yeah. Let's have some more wine. Michelle, I really need|to tell you something. {y:i}I'm really hoping the playoffs|{y:i}can take my mind offi of things... 'cause you and the team are all|that I plan on focusing on right now. 'Cause we got a really good chance|of winning the championship this year. Especially now,|since we got you, dog. Jamal.|Okay, it's all set. Between the network, the players' union|and my shameless groveling... we got you a meeting|with the commissioner. - That's great. What do I have to do?|-Just show up, be polite, smile. Let me do all the talking,|pretty much like I'm doing now... - and you're back in the league.|- Sounds good to me. When is it? - Tomorrow, 3:00.|- Wait a minute, Lorne. You know I can't make that. The Banshees|start the playoffs tomorrow. Well, you know what? How about|if my office tapes the game for you? Yeah, but they're|expecting Juwanna to play. And I'm expecting|Juwanna to disappear. We got a deal here.|What am I busting my ass for? Come on now.|Understand, will you? There's a lot|of people involved. Yeah, Lorne,|including Juwanna. There are a lot of people|counting on Juwanna too. Jamal. You're scaring me now|with this. I just need|a minute, Lorne. {y:i}The fans are filing in|{y:i}with great anticipation... as the Charlotte Banshees|prepare to host game one... of their WUBA playoff series|against the Houston Gallop. Yo, has anybody|seen Juwanna? Jeanne, this should really be|an exciting playoff series. You're right, Chris. Even though these|two teams are pretty evenly matched... most people expect the Banshees|to win the series. But in order to do that, they're|gonna need a huge performance... by their star player,|Juwanna Mann. And we're gonna find out for real|when they tip it off|in just about 30 minutes. - Hello.|- Hey, look. It's me. Can we, uh--|Can we reschedule the meeting? No, we don't.|We're not rescheduling the meeting. Let me make this|real clear for you. You're not here in five minutes, you're|not gonna play in the league ever again. This is it.|You understand me? Oh, really? Yeah, I understand. That was him.|He's on his way. Nothing to worry about,|Mr. Commissioner. What's it gonna be, boy? You got to go somewhere. {y:i}And now introducing|{y:i}the starting lineup... {y:i}for your Charlotte Banshees! - I tried calling her.|- I don't believe this. - Where she at?|- I don't know. You know what it is|I'm thinking? Traffic. Yeah, it's, uh-- It's always--|Down, you know, here it's bad. {y:i}Number 22... {y:i}Juwanna Mann! Hey. Where you been? I had a friend|that had some problems. - Now let's kick some butt.|- All right. Let's do this. Come on. Let's get in here.|Huddle up. I guess some things|never change. No, you're wrong about that. {y:i}The moment we've been waiting|{y:i}for is finally here. We are underway. Ball. Go, girls! Yeah! I've lost my mind! - Way to go, Michelle.|- Good pass, baby. Good pass. - Right here, baby. Right here.|- Move! Move! Move! {y:i}Things remain tight here.|{y:i}The Gallop and the Banshees|{y:i}are playing equally so far. {y:i}They've been trading basket for|{y:i}basket,yet the Gallop holding|{y:i}a slim lead for the moment. {y:i}It's been that kind of game,|{y:i}but we should have a wild finish. Juwanna Mann!|Juwanna Mann! {y:i}With just nine seconds left,|{y:i}the Banshees are down by one. {y:i}There's the steal. The ball|{y:i}is stolen by Juwanna Mann. {y:i}Look at Juwanna Mann go. {y:i}Could Juwanna Mann|{y:i}possibly slam-dunk this ball? Yes! Yes! {y:i}Whoo-hoo-hoo!|{y:i}Whoo-hoo! Yes! Yes. {y:i}I can't believe what I'm seeing here. It's Jamal Jeffries. And that's|your play of the day. It don't make me|no difference. I still love you,|Juwanna Mann. I love you,|Juwanna Mann! {y:i}Juwanna Mann! I love you,|even though I guess-- You're still a man.|I'm-- Does that make me a man? Juwanna! {y:i}Juwanna! The hell|is happening to me? Hold on, Michelle. I can explain,|all right? Just give me a minute. Michelle. {y:i}Michelle! Damn. In perhaps the most|bizarre sports story ever... women's pro basketball star,|Juwanna Mann... has turned out to be exactly|what her name implies-- a man. He a sicko.|Straight-up sicko. No comment. Excuse me.|No comment. Excuse me. In my country, penis okay. My mother have penis. {y:i}The WUBA's Charlotte Banshees have fired|{y:i}Jamal Jeffries for posing as a woman. {y:i}The WUBA's Charlotte Banshees have fired|{y:i}Jamal Jeffries for posing as a woman. {y:i}The odd thing is,Jeffries is known|{y:i}for being a big playboy. The team said they became suspicious|when they caught him hitting on himself. {y:i}In fact--|{y:i}In fact, he could-- Since the opening tip, the Charlotte|Banshees really have been struggling. {y:i}They have not looked|{y:i}very smooth offiensively here. Jamal,Jamal,Jamal. {y:i}I see you|{y:i}moping around. I see you|down in the dumps. I also see you ain't been|using no plates in this room. You got yourself|quite a mess here. I'll clean it up. I'm not talking about this mess.|I'm talking about that mess. {y:i}Sit up. Scoot over. It's no sense in crying|over spilt milk Best thing to do is start|looking for a paper towel. You hear me? Huh? - Next.|- Damn. It appears the Banshee fans|{y:i}are just as disheartened as the players. {y:i}Well, Chris, I would|{y:i}absolutely have to agree with you. {y:i}And unlike the Gallop, this Phoenix Web|{y:i}team, they have a lot of game. {y:i}The Banshees need|{y:i}to turn this around now. Otherwise, they are gonna get blown out|and they will not advance to the finals. Brought my A-game today. {y:i}Let's pick it up, guys. {y:i}Can you handle that? Second half.|{y:i}That's what I wanna see. What's the matter|with you guys? Huh? Coach, face it. We're never gonna get|to the championship without Jamal. That's not true. What you doing here?|This is the ladies' locker room, pe"rv". I just wanna talk|to you guys, all right? {y:i}- Oh, please.|{y:i}- You ain't got nothing to say. {y:i}All right, ladies, hold up. {y:i}I think we're letting Mr.Jeffries offi|{y:i}a little easy by throwing him out. Let's listen|to what he has to say. I think we all|wanna hear this. Guys, look, uh... I messed up, all right? What I did it was-- it was wrong,|it was selfish... and I'm-- I'm truly sorry. {y:i}When I first got here,|{y:i}I got to tell you... I thought women's basketball|was a big joke. {y:i}Hell, I thought anything that wasn't|{y:i}about Jamal Jeffries was a big joke. Turns out|the joke was on me. That's because I thought that the most|important thing about basketball... was being a star. {y:i}That's until you guys taught me|{y:i}the only way to truly shine... was to be a part of a team. So if you guys|wanna hate me... and Lord knows|I understand you if you do. But you're gonna have|to hate me after the game... {y:i}because you guys never|{y:i}needed me to win this... and you don't need me now. I needed you. So come on. Go win it. And, Latisha. Your game is on. Keep an eye out for Magda.|She's getting open in the post. {y:i}I don't know what happened|{y:i}in that locker room at halftime... {y:i}but the Banshee team is playing|{y:i}with tremendous emotion. {y:i}-Somehowthey've been rejuvenated.|{y:i}- Well, Chris,you're right. {y:i}This is like a completely different|{y:i}team. What an amazing turnaround. Don't look now, but the Banshees|might actually get to the big show. We're winners! Dear Michelle-- {y:i}Just 'cause it's Wednesday. The fans dese"rv"e to have|a true basketball star... and a future role model|finish his career on top. {y:i}Please believe me when I tell you|{y:i}that Mr.Jeffries is a changed man. And I say that,|not only as his agent... but as his friend too. {y:i}Mr.Jeffries, after hearing|{y:i}the very sincere... and impassioned plea|from your representative... {y:i}I must say that|{y:i}I am still left rather unimpressed. {y:i}You have not only disgraced|{y:i}our men's pro league... {y:i}but the women's|{y:i}pro league as well. {y:i}This is|{y:i}a closed hearing. With all due respect, sir, and on|behalf of the Charlotte Banshees... we in no way feel that JamalJeffries|has disgraced our league. and he is certainly|paying the price for that. - But we forgive him.|- No doubt, no doubt. We feel|that you should too. We want you|to have this,Jamal. I'm convinced. I think|they've made their point. We out of here, y'all. {y:i}And now, returning|{y:i}for his second year at starting guard... {y:i}the only man who has played|{y:i}in both the men's... {y:i}and women's professional|{y:i}basketball leagues... {y:i}North Carolina's own... {y:i}Jamal Jeffries! - Hey, you, you!|- What, man? That's not a keg. You know|how much this stupid thing costs? What does it matter to you?|The bank owns it now an"yw"ay. The bank?|The bank owns this? - Yeah.|- Oh, really? The bank's got a dustpan in the kitchen.|Maybe you need to get that too. What's up, baby? Yeah.|You look like an angel in this light. - Give it to me.|- Mark. Yo, man, what's up?|I just saw you on the television, man. That movie was the flyest.|You did like this. You do it like this. Oh, yeah.|You went like this. I was like-- - Oh, you don't have to--|- Thank you. Thank you. Okay, Magda. You done woke up Lil' Puff.|I'm gonna wrap it around it. Watch this. - Hey, hey, hey!|- Riding it. Ride it, cowboy! Rawhide! I like it rough. - Aunt Ruby-- Aunt Ruby, please.|- Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. - You got to get on the floor, boy.|- Oh, shit. So sorry. - Get your ass on that floor.|- So sorry. Do that walk I taught you.|Aw, shit. - Lorne, just feel them for me.|- Why? - I just want you to feel them.|- Oh, man, those are good. That looks good|on you, baby. - Yes. Yes. Yes.|- No. Oh, my God.|Lorne, not you too. |
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