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Kate And Leopold

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Time, it has been proposed
is the fourth dimension.
And yet, for mortal man,|time has no dimension at all.
We are like horses|with blinders
seeing only|what lies before us.
Hear, hear.
Forever guessing the future
and fabricating the past.
-Itís him.|-Who?
Quite right, Your Grace.
How, you ask, can we lift
these shackles and live--|not in the moment
but in the glorious expanse|of timeís continuum?
Listen, and I shall tell you.
The secret lies in the enduring|power of our achievements
our creations!
As the pyramids testify|to the Egyptians
so my glorious erection|shall represent
our culture in perpetuity.
Behold, rising before you
the greatest erection|on the continent.
The greatest erection|of the age!
The greatest erection|on the planet!
Hold this.
Of course.
For the Herald, Your Grace.
I understand|youíll be making
an important announcement|tonight.
Good afternoon, ladies.|Please, excuse me, please.
Good afternoon.
And the Perrier-Jouet|should be chilled.
-You understand? Chilled.|-Yes, sir.
Leopold, where have you been?
Otis, I demand explication!
Itís half past 5:00!|Heís not even dressed!
Heíll be ready, my lord.|I assure you.
I donít want him ready.|I want him resplendent!
Ah, Miss Blaine.
You dance like a...
like a herd of cattle.
You are a rare woman
who lights up a room|simply by leaving it.
Might you be rich,|Miss Blaine?
You see, whilst I|am the third Duke
the little secret of those|of us in the Royal Court--
apart from our|general uselessness--
is our massive|indebtedness.
Itís always been|your misfortune, Leopold
that you so thoroughly|amuse yourself
with the sound|of your own voice.
In a life as stagnant as mine
that I can amuse myself at all
is an evolutionary marvel.
Please donít touch that.
The device you were|jabbering about.
To take priests|to the bell tower.
To take anyone, Uncle, to|the floor they so desire.
Buildings continue to climb.
Soon they will outstrip|the stamina of our legs.
You speak of progress|and invention.
Yet what I offer you downstairs|is reality.
Take a wife. Marry.
marriage is the promise|of eternal love.
As a man of honor, I can|not promise eternally
what I have never|felt momentarily.
Born into privilege,|yet perversely ashamed of it.
That is your tragedy.
My God! If my brother
could only see you,|heíd be heartbroken.
You are no duke!
Of course Iím not.
The monarchy is dead, Uncle.
We are relics.|That is reality.
The new Royals are men|of accomplishment.
Men like Roebling,|with his bridge
Edison, with his lamp
Diesel, Bell, Westinghouse...
Those men made themselves|from nothing!
You, on the other hand,|were born with everything
and from it,|fashioned nothing.
As of tonight,|I wash my hands of you.
Take a good look|at your dance card, Leopold.
A wealthy bride|is your only surety.
Your Grace,|may I present Miss Tree
of the Trees|of Schenectady, sir.
of the Trees|of Schenectady, sir.
Miss Tree?
Itís an honor to be making
your royal acquaintance,|Your Highness.
Shall we?
Many dreams, all useless.
Who are you?
No, no, no.
Okay, rela...
Please, wait, no.
I donít want to harm you.
Stop! Please!
Sir, wait!
Pardon me. Pardon me.
Go! Go!
Stop, sir! Please!
Oh, my God.
Let go!
Just let go. Itís okay!
You donít understand!|Let go!
I donít want to hurt you!|Let go!
Goddamn it!
Whoa, whoa...
Shit! Ow!
Oh, my God.
We must remember, Bart
that sometimes it is okay|to color outside the lines.
My Palm Pilot.|You still have it.
Kate, itís 1:00 in the morning.
And clearly youíre awake,|so what is the infraction?
Look, Kate, I donít know|where your Palm Pilot is.
And I canít do this right now.|Not now. Iím expecting a call.
Oh, Bart.
Oh, Iím sorry, baby.
She is not a happy person.
Goddamn it!
You know what, Stuart?|You know what? Iím...
Please. Iíve got|somebody here, okay?
I know. I saw her.
No, you didnít.
Yes, I did!
Itís a him, if thatís|any kind of consolation to you.
So, look, now that you know
Iím not getting laid,|just go to bed, okay?
Nuh-uh, donít. Do not|hang up on me, Stuart.
Donít do that.
Kate, please.
I beg of you.|Something big is happening.
Something that validates|my entire life...
Something that validates|your entire life.
What could that possibly be?
Are you sitting down?
-No, youíre not.|-Yes, I am.
No, youíre not.
I found it.
What did you find?
The portal.
A crack in the fabric of time.
It was over|the East River, Kate
just where I said it would be.
You found the portal?
A portal into April 28th, 1876.
I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge|and took a walk in 1876 today.
I followed the Duke of Albany|around old New York.
Are you listening?
This hereís the twist, Kate.|Hereís the kicker.
Whatís the kicker?
He followed me home.
The Duke of Buffalo...
No, the Duke of Albany.
...Albany followed you home
through a crack in time.
Heís a brilliant engineer.
He patented|the counterweight pulley.
He invented the elevator,|for Christís sake.
You know what, Stuart?|You know what?
Iím not your girlfriend anymore.
I havenít been|for a whole month now.
You can tell me the truth.
I am telling you|the truth, Kate.
You can tell me you went
and picked up a transvestite|in Times Square.
I donít care.
You know what, Kate?|This is it, right here.
This is it, in a nutshell.|Our downfall.
You never-- not once--|believed in me.
Oh, I did, Stuart.
I did, for four years.
And I got burnt.
Okay, you want to know|who he is?
Iíll tell you who he is.
He is a hacker.
High end. English.
I know him from Columbia.
Heís in town for the Mac Expo|at the Javits.
We went out, got a little sloppy|on Guinness
and he passed out on my couch.
And thatís the truth?
Mm-hmm. Thatís the truth.
Okay? Are you happy now?
Is that plausible enough
for you and your little|focus group?
You know what, Stuart?
I blew my best years on you.
Those were your best?
Iím sorry.
I have to go.
Youíll get your Pilot|in the morning.
Orange alert.
Bart, stop!
Itís okay.
-Itís okay.|-Where am I?
Well, um, thereís not|an easy explanation for that.
If itís a ransom you seek,|my uncle wonít pay a cent.
Except, perhaps, for my demise.
No. no. Youíre not|being kidnapped.
Bart, quiet!
I can scarcely see,|thanks to your spray.
My eyes feel like
Steak au Poivre.
So I ask you again,|where the hell am I?!
As far as Iím concerned,|you might be Jack the Ripper!
And you would have me believe
that Iím being detained|at present in the hereafter?
The time to come?
Bart, quiet!|He needs a walk.
Oh, and you would
have me believe
that you have found|a crack in time.
You, of all people,|should understand.
I mean, youíre a scientist.
You invented the elevator.
What is an elevator?
What the hell|are you talk...
Where the hell am I?!
I told you-- you havenít
actually gone anywhere.
Youíre still in New York.
That, sir, is not New York!
Iím afraid it is.
No, Kate.
Hello. Hello there.
Whatís your name?
Whatís your name?
-Leopold.|-Tell me something.
Iím having trouble|with my G-5.
How much RAM do I need|to properly run OS 9.6?
Clearly, the Mac Expo is out.
So you must be...
a man out of time?
Or Sergeant Pepper?
-You know what?
Actually, we could use|a little privacy.
Stuart, I want my Palm Pilot.
Iím not...|Iím serious.
Maybe later on, Kate.
I just want|my Palm Pilot, Stuart!
No. No.
Hey, give me my Palm Pilot!
Give it to me.
This is madness.|This is madness.
Who was that?
-I feel as if Iíve seen her...
Women have changed|since your time, Leo.
Theyíve become dangerous.
Itís on the landing!
You say this is no kidnapping.
You say you mean no harm.
Then why is it, sir,|you will not unlock the door?
Iím sorry, okay?
Iím sorry about her. Iím...
Look, with all due respect
I canít let you just go
running around free|out there, okay?
This is New York City.
Itís not such a safe place|anymore.
Look at you.
You look like some sort|of psychotic escapee
from a Renaissance faire.
I understand you|have some anxiety
but you have to trust me.
Iím going to get you home, okay?
I promise.
The portal opens up again|next week. Monday.
I know that, because it was|my back-up in case
I didnít make it last night.
Itís on a cycle, you know?
Kind of like, uh...
total eclipse.
Once every 20 years.|You understand?
Generally,|I understand everything.
Since Iíve met you, nothing.
I can only assume|Iím in a nightmare
brought on by agita,|or else I am dead.
Youíre not dead.
Come here. Sit down.
Want some milk in yours?
Bart, can I just have...
Sorry. Heís-heís really|got to go out.
Look here.
Iíd be honored|if you took a look at those.
Um, Iíll explain everything|when I get back.
Heís got to go out
or heís going to drop|a bomb in there.
Come on. Letís go.
Back in five.
One quick trip to Spectra, Bart
and you and I will be Nobel...
Come on, Bart.
Hey, letís go.
-Come on.
Letís go!
Oh, Jesus!
Good boy, Bart!
Stay, Bart!
Oh, Bart, please stay!
you forgot the pointy thing!
Look, this is not complex.
He gave me the Palm Pilot
but he forgot|the pointy thing.
Iíve been warned about you.
Oh. Really? And what, pray tell
did the great|disappointment say?
That you were dangerous,|though you hardly look it.
-Oh, really?|-A lady in trousers isnít|dangerous, merely plain.
I take it youíre a career woman.
Yeah, market research.
Mm. Fine avocation|for women, research.
Perfect for the feminine mind.
Youíre a trip, Lionel.
I myself once courted|a librarian in Sussex.
Good for you.
I must confess
I feel as though weíve met| |on a previous occasion.
Well, Lionel, seeing as
Iíve never met a single|friend of Stuartís--
Iím not even sure|heís ever had any--
I really donít see|how thatís possible.
Oh, man! Bart!
He just made Lake Erie|out there.
You just canít toss a dog|out into the hall like that.
You canít do that.
I assure you, I did not.
Letís go.
I beg your pardon?
Come on.
Letís go!
Look, pal, I donít care|how many elevators you got.
This oneís in my building.
Hang-hang on a second.
Sorry about|the elevator, Miss Kate.
Iíve got them|on the phone right now.
Hey, Gracy.
This is Lionel,|Stuartís friend.
How do you do?
Ten minutes?|I need someone here right now.
-Watch it, man.|-I beg your pardon.
Hey, what are you doing?
You need to be going|that way.
Thereís an electron... Hello?
Hello? Thereís|an electronics store. Hello?
Iím sorry, miss.
Thereís a patch of grass|across the street.
Take him there.|Heíll do his business.
Can you give this|to Stuart, please?
Itís his cable bill.
They haul our furniture|and cradle our children
but this morning, from|the Battery to the Bronx
elevators have mysteriously...
So sorry.
I do beg your pardon.
I beg your pardon.
Are you going to remove that?
I beg your pardon?
Pick it up|and put it in the trash.
Absolutely not.
Maybe you donít understand.
Itís against the law|to leave it there.
Are you suggesting, madam,|there exists a law
compelling gentlemen to lay hold|of canine bowel movements?
Iím suggesting you|pick the poop up
and throw it away now.
I refuse. Respectfully.
All right.
Whatís your name, fancy pants?
Alexis Elija...
Walker Thomas Garrett
All right, Stuart.
Have a nice day.
I appreciate you putting in|a good word for me
but J.J.ís not back from London.
Right. Bye.
Whatís with the elevators?
Itís happening everywhere.
Last page.
Iím sorry.
Did everyone live|happily ever after?
He lost his leg to gangrene|waiting for her on the island.
But theyíre together now.
Oh, look, you got|your Palm Pilot back.
A nightmare.
Okay, so who do I owe?
Okay, Bobby at Hasbro.
Reeves at Crunch.
And the finals came in|for "Love for Sale."
The call with the studioís|at 4:00.
The margarine thingís in 15
in the conference room.
J.J. wants to talk|to you before that.
Oh, and one more thing.
I remember that you told me|to start thinking ahead
so I know your brotherís|getting back
from his retreat tomorrow
and if you want something|in the fridge...
Can you tell me|why Iím upset right now?
Because, uh...
J.J. called this morning.
That is why I have a cell phone.
-So you can call me...|-Kate, Kate,|he didnít call.
He just popped his head in here|and spoke two sentences.
So heís back?
Margo says heís going to make|a big announcement
about the merger next week.
Margo? What does she know?
How does she know
anything about anything?
Oh. All right. So he|popped his head in here.
All right, so you have to tell|me exactly what he said, Darci.
You have to start|at the beginning and tell me...
He said, "Tell Kate Iím going|to sit in on Farmerís Bounty."
Good morning, Kate.
Good morning.
Iíll see you in there.
Good Lord, it still stands.
The world has changed|all around it
but Roeblingís erection|still stands!
That, my friend, is a miracle.
Itís a miracle, man!
Itís a bridge.
Tell me...
when did they adapt it|for steam engines?
The fire brigade.
I donít know how it happened.
I found him in a shaft.
Leopold, what are you doing|out here?
Get back inside!
One, two, three.
Theyíre taking him|to Goodman Memorial.
Fresh creamery butter.
Is there anything|more comforting?
There is
and I know you will agree
when you try Farmerís Bounty
with the essence of real butter|in every bite.
with the essence of real butter|in every bite.
Your first choice.
However, 45% of our demo|circled "shifty"
as his key descriptor.|Not good.
This is what I say.
Everybody should be trying
Farmerís Bounty
with the real, rich, creamy|taste of real butter.
Try it, and you will be losing|pounds. Poof! Boom! Voila!
Your second choice.
Unfortunately, the group found|him obnoxious, abrasive
and a whopping 72%|found him just plain creepy.
The spot rolls out in four days.|We have to...
What the hell|am I supposed to do?
We have to do|another session.
Tomorrow.|I had my assistant book
the response room at National|so we can decide
then and there.
Kate, are you all right?
You okay?
Iím fine.
Geez, Kate, Iíd ask for a decaf.
Monica, I need you|to call Barneyís.
I need a white blouse,|size small
in Kateís office by lunch.
-Oh, dear.
Hi, youíve reached Stuart.
Please leave a message.
Leopold? Leopold, look,|donít be frightened.
This is Stuart, okay?
Is it Bellís talking telegraph?
I saw a prototype|at last yearís faire.
I need you to pick up|the handset, Leo.
You pick up the green handset,|because I need to talk to you...
Are-are you there?
-Hello?|-Leopold, thank God.
Listen, theyíre taking me|to X Rays.
Everythingís going to be fine|but you have to stay
in the apartment,|do you understand me?
Oh, Stuart,|I saw Roeblingís bridge today.
I saw it... complete.
Yes, yes, but listen to me.
You canít go out again.
You have to stay|in the apartment.
Stay in the apartment?|For how long?
Leo, Iíll be back tonight.
I promise--|no more field trips.
Would you...
Hel... hello?
Stuart? Hello?
Who are you?
Hector. My mom works late|on Wednesdays
so I watch TV with Stuart.
Want some Pirateís Booty?
Hang on.
Excuse me, J.J., I wanted|to thank you for the shirt.
That was very nice.
Come in, come in.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
Oh, good, good.
Yeah, sheís here right now.
Iíll tell her.
Okay... okay.
Sit down.
That was Barry.
He was thrilled with your work
at the screening last night.
Oh, good. Good.
Youíre a rarity|among women, Kate.
Iím sorry?
You donít cling to illusion.
You donít get caught up|in emotion.
You donít do pretty.
I donít?
You skew male.
Youíre like a man.
A man who understands women--|their desires, their needs.
You understand them
but youíre not really|one of them.
You donít mind|my being frank, do you?
No. I donít. No.
But one day, he lowered|the Jolly Roger
-Stu?|-and set sail in search
of another kind of treasure.
Not money, not jewels,|not gold...
but a bride.
Despite his being a ruffian|of the brine
fearless in his plunder
and merciless with the sword
the Pirate King|was also lonely.
You see,|he had never met a lady.
He never met a girl?
No. Not a girl, not a lady,|not even his own mother.
-So what happened?|-As with all comedies
the most ridiculous thing|imaginable-- the Pirate King
fell in love with|the major generalís daughter.
I had the good fortune to see|the premiere last month
at the Fifth Avenue Theatre.
Since when is|Penzance at the Fifth?
Is it your habit, sir
to simply enter a conversation|without introduction?
to simply enter a conversation|without introduction?
Whoa, you are deep in it.
Itís cool. Iím an actor, too.
Iím Charlie. I live downstairs.
Kate McKay,|senior vice president.
Darci, it hasnít happened.
All he did
was dangle a carrot.
Until he makes a decision
the pressureís doubled.
Whenís he going|to make a decision?
Weíre having dinner tomorrow|to discuss it further
at Commune.
-I have Stuart on the line.|-No!
-He says heís in the hospital.|-No!
Leopold is just sitting alone|in my apartment right now.
God knows what could happen|to him.
Do you know he got outside|today?
Of course he did--|I made him walk your dog.
What? No, Kate,|you canít do that!
He canít go outside!
Jesus Christ, Kate.
Heís from 1876, Kate.
He doesnít know our customs.
If something were|to happen to him
-it could be catastrophic.|-Shh!
If he doesnít go back
to April 28, 1876,|he doesnít get married
he doesnít have children,|and you want to know what?
What happened|with the elevators today, well
thatís going to seem|like a walk in the park.
Stuart! This is embarrassing.
Itís embarrassing now,|all right?
Someone has to keep|an eye on him.
Stuart, heís a grown man.
Heís a grown man. Heís fine.
He can take care of himself.
-No. Wait. Aah!|-Iím going.
Kate, please.
Just take this to Spectra, okay?
Get it developed.
Youíll see Iím telling|the truth.
Tell Manny itís important.
You want double prints?
Thatís not funny, Kate.
This is not a joke.
You need help, Stuart.
You need help.
...square of the hypotenuse
Iím very good at integral|and differential calculus
I know the scientific names|of beings animalculous
In short, in matters|vegetable, animal and mineral
I am the very model|of a modern major-general.
Hey, Kate!
Can I see you downstairs|for a minute?
I invited someone to dinner.
Heís up there all alone.
Stuartís in the hospital.
I didnít think youíd|have such a problem...
No, you didnít think, Charlie.
You didnít think.
You came home early,|one day early from actor camp.
Okay, itís not actor camp
and yeah, I came home|a day early, all right?
There was this tai chi|broad who kept trying
-stick her fingers...|-No, this is the point.
You immediately march upstairs
to my ex-boyfriendís apartment
and you invite|his freakish friend...
See, thatís what itís about.
Itís not that|I went up there.
Itís that it was|your ex-boyfriend...
No, itís not about Stuart.
Greetings, Kate.
Hey, Leo.
Be nice.
So, whenís Stuart getting back?
Couple days, maybe a week.
He promised me that he would|return late this evening.
Well, maybe he will, Leopold.
Heís so big on keeping|his promises.
May I have the next course?
There is no next course.
Where I come from
the meal is the result|of reflection and study.
Menus are prepared in advance
timed to perfection.
It is said,|without the culinary arts
the crudeness of reality|would be unbearable.
We had a saying|in the McKay house:
"You shake and shake|the ketchup bottle.
None will come,|and then a lotíll."
What is that?
I beg your pardon?
Why are you standing?
Iím accustomed to stand
when a lady leaves the table.
Tell me, Charles
when Stuart and your|sister were engaged
did you happen to read
his papers on|the temporal universe?
I spent the morning perusing|them, and must confess...
Stuart and I were never engaged.
Not even close.
But I did read...
Thank you.
But I did read his papers
however, to show support.
Is Stuart still trying
to make a time machine?
Thatís the beauty of it--|he discovered
no machine was necessary.
All one had to do was|to develop
formula to forecast portals--
natural windows|in the fabric of time.
Apparently, Stuart located one
utilizing modern...
Utilizing modern theories|of weather prediction.
Whatís a portal?
An opening which exists|for but a moment.
This explains why
one must jump through it|from a height--
in order to achieve|the required velocity.
The speed of gravity,|to be exact.
Itís quite brilliant.
You are so method.
You donít even break|for a second, do you?
Itís unbelievable!
Oh, stop it, please!
No more! Stop, please?
I beg you. Iím tired.
Can you go away?|Can you just go away?
Can you go away?
Sheís drunk, Leo.
Oh, shut up, Charlie!
And you, can you go upstairs?
Can you go away?
I am truly sorry if I have|offended you in any way.
Goodnight, Charles.
Goodnight, Charles.
Goodnight, Leo.
What the hell was that?
He thinks heís from|the 19th century, Charlie.
He thinks heís a duke.
I know. Isnít that cool?
Kate, heís in character.
He is an actor.
Oh, really? For what show?
You know that just because
someone doesnít have| |a paying gig
it doesnít mean theyíre not|working on their craft.
Whatís going on here?
I think thereís something wrong|with his, uh...
Give me that telephone.
Give it to me.
No, I need to...
What do you expect me to do?
You took away my cell phone.
Theyíre not allowed|on hospital property.
I have to make a phone call!
Youíre not going|to make one now.
No, no, you donít understand.
This is a very important|phone call.
I have to leave|this hospital now.
I canít be here anymore.
Mr. Besser
I am tired|of telling you this.
You are not going nowhere
until Dr. Feinstein signs|your release!
Did you ever take any|earth science, Esther, hmm?
You look like a smart woman.
Ever hear of the|time-space continuum?
Sounds important, doesnít it?|Well, it is.
And you want to know|something, Esther?
Itís broken! Okay?
And Iím the only guy|who can fix it.
So why donít you|go down the hall there
and get on your|little telephone
and call Dr. Feinstein...
Goodnight, Mr. Besser.
You tell him that...
You tell him that I...
Point the toes,|pull your shoulders back.
Take a deep breath in
and then exhale|into downward-facing dog.
Oh, be quiet!
Be quiet... oh!
Bart, shut up!
That thing is a damned hazard!
Itís just a toaster!
Well, insertion of bread|into that so-called toaster
produces no toast at all--
merely warm bread!
Inserting the bread twice|produces charcoal.
So, clearly,|to make proper toast
it requires|one and a half insertions
which is something|for which the apparatus
doesnít begin to allow!
One assumes
that when the General|of Electric built it
he might have tried using it.
One assumes the General might|take pride in his creations
instead of just foisting them
on an unsuspecting public.
You know something?
Nobody gives a ratís ass
that you have to push|the toast down twice.
You know why?
Because everybody|pushes their toast down twice!
Not where I come from.
Oh, because where you come from
toast is the result|of reflection and study.
Yes, you mock me.
But perhaps one day, when youíve
awoken from a pleasant slumber
to the scent of a warm brioche
smothered in marmalade|and fresh creamery butter
youíll understand that life
is not solely comprised|of tasks, but tastes.
Say that again.
Pardon me?
-Did they start yet?|-Yes.
Session list.
Leopold, Darci.|Darci, Leopold.
Iíd like him to read.
Can you tack him on|at the end?
And, Leopold, go with Darci.
Sheíll take you to the greenroom|and explain everything.
I need to work out.
I need a place I can work out.
If I could get Mr. Duke?
Is he ready? Where is he?
Oh, my God, look at this.
Letís skip this one.
Mr. Duke, right here|on the floor.
Excuse me,|thatís your mark, right there.
Just stand on that tape line.
Look, forget this guy.
I canít waste|any more time, J.J.
We need to make|a decision now.
All right, weíve got|plenty of good choices.
Letís cut it off, Kate.
That would be a mistake, J.J.
Kate, the client wants|to move on.
We should see this last guy.
Itíll... Two minutes!
I think he looks like|the Quaker Oats guy.
Well, Phil, itís really not|about what you think.
Itís about what they think.
Theyíve been in a coma all day
and now look at them.
To them, this guy is a dream.
Heís handsome,|honest, courteous.
Stands when you|walk in a room.
Brings you brioche in bed.
If you eat his margarine
maybe your hips will shrink
and heíll come to your door.
I take it this is to be|delivered in direct address
as on Geronimo.
He means Geraldo.
Okay, everyone-- quiet please.
And action.
Start talking, bud.
Fresh creamery butter.
Is there anything|more comforting?
I say there is.
And perhaps youíll agree|when you sample
fat-free Farmerís Bounty
with the genuine essence|of creamery butter
in every bite.
With every mouthful|of Farmerís Bounty
you shall receive butterís|luxurious comfort in your mouth
without adding to the luxury|of your waistline.
Not bad, Kate.
Whereíd you find him?
He lives in my building.
Where do I sign?
Right here, and here.
Oh! Hi.
That was spectacular, Kate.
Thanks, J.J.
A lot to talk about|tonight at dinner.
Nice work, Mr. Margarine.
Thank you.
Outfit was a great idea. Nice.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
You seem pleased.
Oh, you did so great in there!
You are going to be on|a national television spot!
I take it youíre dining|with that man tonight.
Huh? Oh, yeah, J.J.
Heís my boss.
You require a chaperone.
His intentions are obvious.
Iím alone with you.
Do I need a chaperone?
Weíre not courting, Kate.
If we were, as a man of honor
I would have informed you|of my intentions in writing.
Good day.
Kate, why donít we take|one of these.
Theyíre for tourists.
Sorry, she doesnít|seem interested.
Oh, hey, hello. Hello.
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey, you...
Hey, you asshole!
Iím going to get you!
Goddamn it.
Give me your hand.
Your hand, woman!
Yah! Yah!
What do you think youíre doing?
Whoa, hey!
I warn you, scoundrel
I was trained to ride|at the Kingís Academy
and schooled in weaponry|by the palace guard.
You stand no chance.
Where you run, I shall ride
and when you stop,|the steel of this strap
will be lodged in your brain.
Your boyfriendís|a very good rider.
Are you for real?
Pardon me?
Are you for real?
I believe so.
Youíre a duke.
I was born a duke.
Iíve never felt like one.
Stay. Sit.
On your feet. Stay.
Stay. Good boy.
Iím off to dinner.
What are you two doing?
I donít know.
Maybe weíll watch|the rest of the game
or go out or something.
Oh, thank you.
Kate, may I repeat my offer|to serve as a chaperone?
No, thank you, Leopold.
Charles, donít you|find this inappropriate?
As her brother,|I would think...
As her brother, I would think
that my sister would invite me|to an audition.
Could be just me, though.
Seems kind, but...
Youíre not exactly|a margarine spokesperson.
I canít sell butter, Kate?
I donít mean to be insulting...
Itís insulting. Iím an actor.
You donít have faith in me|to sell butter?
No. No. Iím sorry.
I can do British, Kate.
Iím an actor.|I can be anybody!
Youíre a very, very good actor.
-I am a good actor.|-You are.
Okay, fine, all right.
A Victorian dude whoís never|seen a Mets game watching TV.
Scene-- I say,|are those little people
in that box of phosphorous?
Crikey, I believe it is!
This gameís more|beguiling than cricket!
Good golly, oh, Jesus!
It looks like Mike Piazza|just hit a game!
How about Canadian?
Oh, right on.
Right on, you like butter, huh?
Yeah, whatís that about?
Good night.
Good night.
...all those people|up in that stadium.
Know what they probably|could go for?
Some margarine!
When your friend walked in|in that outfit
I was getting a little|nervous for you there.
"If you eat his margarine,|maybe your hips will shrink."
Itís brilliant.
You saved Phil from|his own ambivalence.
I knew it was the way to go--|in my gut.
Iím counting on that gut.
Can I get a bottle|of your Ď95 Lynch-Bages
and a bottle of Evian?
Iíll tell you one thing
your friend is going to be|bigger than Mr. Whipple.
Youíre not sleeping with him,|are you?
Leo. Leo, come on. Come here.
Howís it going, man?
See the girl with|the long brown hair?
Thatís Patrice.
Sheís lovely.
Sheís mine.
Hey, everybody, this is Leo!
Leo, this is everybody.
Whatís up? Dennis.
Shelby, Allison, Monica.
And this, this is
the insatiable Patrice.
Hey, Charlie.
How do you do?
Patrice, let me assist you.
You got it?
I was going to get it.
Let me get that for you.
There you go.
You look nice tonight.
Like a Judy Blume book.
Thatís good, because|I thought for a moment
that body of water here|was a moat.
No, thatís a pond.
The gardens are devastating.
They are.
Theyíre very,|very beautiful. Ooh.
Youíll have to come|and see them firsthand.
Right, right.
After the merger
Iím going to be stuck|over there, setting things up.
Iíll be craving|a little face time
from my new top|honcho in New York.
What are you saying?
Iím saying you should|come visit.
Iíll fly you over|for the weekend.
Oh, yeah, I heard that.
The other part--|the part before that.
The part about the top honcho.
I didnít understand that,|that part.
How about catching an opera|Saturday?
La Bohťmeís at the Met.
Okay, so she comes back--|the audience is about to leave--
she comes back on stage
and she starts|squirting the audience
with this turkey baster|filled with this pine mist.
And sheís screaming|"Un-sex me! Un-sex me!"
But no tears.
Just raw human passion.
Isnít Willem Dafoe|part of that group?
Yeah, and he did this monologue|about how
all the best things in life are|hidden in peopleís basements.
Like the Louvre.
Iím sorry.
You were saying, Charles?
No, what about the Louvre?
Tell us what you|were going to say.
Well, only a fraction of|the Louvre is on the walls.
The rest is in|the basement.
Youíve been in the basement|of the Louvre?
Oh, yes.
I was an art history major|at Vassar.
And so, whatís down there?
Well, thatís where|the real show begins.
Unspoiled by dilettante.
DaVinci, Michelangelo,|David, Chardin.
"Allow me to assist you,|Patrice.
"Oh, let me light that|for you, Monica.
"What, this?
"This is my family crest.
"Been in the family for...|Oh, in the basement?
"What do they have|in the basement?
"Why, the works of da Vinci
"Michelangelo, Chardin, David
all surrounded by great coral|sponges to absorb the moisture."
Just for the record,|I was working it.
I was in the zone
and I would have|gotten her number
if you hadnít turned|the evening
into a guided tour|of the Louvre.
My apologies.
Letís get|one thing straight.
Patrice, she thought|you were cute--
probably gay and cute.
And cute, Leo,|thatís the kiss of death.
-Perhaps.|-Perhaps? Certainly.
I believe this is her number.
As I see it, Patrice has not|an inkling of your affections.
And itís no wonder.
You, Charles,|are a merry-andrew.
A what?
Everything plays a farce to you.
Women respond to sincerity.
This requires pulling oneís|tongue from oneís cheek.
No one wants to be|romanced by a buffoon.
Now, that number rings her.
-Yes.|-So ring her tomorrow.
I canít. She gave|the number to you.
Only because I told her|of your affections.
Wha-What did you say?
Merely that you admired her
but you were hesitant|to make an overture
since youíd been told|she was courting another.
Shit. Thatís good!
Wha-What did she say?
She handed me the napkin.
Charles, itís quite late.
No, no, no,|she wonít be home yet.
I get her machine,|I leave a message
ballís in her court.
Youíre ladling calculation|upon comedy.
The point is,|to keep the ball in your court.
Youíre right. Youíre right.
Nothing need be done|till tomorrow.
Tomorrow.|Then I make my move.
An overture, Charles.
Make your intentions known.
Think of pleasing her,|not vexing her.
No vexing.
Youíre intoxicated.|We should retire.
Iím sure Kate will be home.
I doubt it.
But itís nearly midnight.
You like her, donít you?
You do!|-Oh, Charles, stop.
You like my sister!
Well, you made your|intentions known, right?
-Right?|-Youíve been drinking.
Leo, Commune...
right around the corner.
We could stop in, you could|give me a couple of pointers
pull out a chair or two--
you could throw out a|gesture here or there.
Yeah, see, itís one|thing with Patrice.
You donít give a shit.
Itís a whole other ball of wax
when itís a girl you like, huh?
Yeah, whoís|the merry-andrew now?
You want to vex
my sister!
I have to confess that|Iím a little bit confused.
No. Thank you.
When you asked me|to dinner tonight
I was under the impression
that we were here to discuss...
The merger.
Yes. Right. Yes.
And a possible promotion.
Yes, that, too.
And, well, dinner|is winding down
and we havenít|really discussed
anything even|remotely relevant
to what I thought|we came here to...
I donít believe Iíve ever|seen you this flustered, Kate.
You havenít even kissed me yet.
Right. Well...
I like you, J.J., I do.
I like you quite a bit.
Um, as a matter of fact
I think you would agree|that a working...
a successful|working relationship
requires a great deal of...
What exactly is our|working relationship?
Hi, Kate!
Hi, Charlie.
Well...|what are you doing here?
We just thought weíd come by
-to say hi.|-Kate.
-J.J., right?|-Right.
Might I have a word with you?
Now?|-In private.
No! No.
Mr. Margarine.
Please... please join us.
And where did you say it is?
-In Sussex.|-Near Ballmour.
-Yes.|-Built in the 18th century.
Early 18th century.
Really? Are you quite sure?
Heís got pictures, Leopold.
Perhaps you were swindled,|because I can assure you
as of the late 19th century
thereís nothing|but farmland near Ballmour.
-Youíre mistaken.|-Thatís not possible.
Well, itís quite possible,|Leopold, that you are mistaken.
No, it is not.
...the only manor house|in the county.
I know because I grew up there.
Leopold, it wasnít...
Leo, do you enjoy opera?
-I do. And do you?|-Oh, yes.
It keeps... keeps me alive.
Do you have a favorite?
Bohťme. La Bohťme.
- La Bohťme.|-Iíve seen it 12 times.
Thatís... thatís how|I learned to speak French.
You speak French?
Ah. Que ton visage est doux
entourť par la lumiŤre|de la lune.
What did he say?
"How sweet your face looks
gently encircled|by the soft moonlight."
Oh, I like that.
From the opening scene|of Bohťme.
A stunning duet.
Andre sings it to Mimi.
I invited Kate|to the Met next week.
Sheís never been.
Patrone is singing Andre,|and she turned me down.
Can you explain that, Leopold?
Well... La Bohťme is one|of manís great achievements
and should not be missed.
But perhaps Kate resists|on moral grounds.
How so?
Should we get the check?
Well, some feel that|to court a woman in oneís employ
is nothing more than|a serpentine effort
to transform a lady to a whore.
This guyís charming, Kate.
The Duke of Margarine|thinks me a serpent.
-No, he doesnít.|-No, not a serpent.
Thatís too grand a word.
Simply a braggart and a cad
who knows less French than I,|if thatís possible.
And by the way
thereís no Andre in|Bohťme-- itís Rudolfo.
And though it takes place|in France
itís rarely played in French,|as it is written in Italian.
Good night.
Kate, might I have a word?
-You want some coffee?|-No, thanks.
You want to read...|you want to read your paper?
No, thank you, Charlie.
I want to go to work
and try and clean up|this mess you made.
You sure you donít...
Uh, Kate!
-What?|-I-I just thought
maybe youíd want a-a kiwi|for-for-for the subway.
Thatís a papaya, Charlie.
Youíre right. Okay.
But while using the product
80% found the product|too soft to be...
This, of course, presents
a conundrum for us marketeers.
How do we maintain a soft feel|on the exterior
of a plastic wrap or pack|while retaining
the useful tensile strength|in the sheets?
Now, Iím going to suggest|to the Summer Soft people
to scale back to a limited|release of the product
in the mid-Atlantic states,|where we can refine the product
on the basis of extensive...
Dearest Katherine...
I behaved as an imbecile|last night
animated in part by drink,|in part by your beauty
and in part|by my own foolish pride.
And for that|I am profoundly sorry.
Please accept|as a gesture of apology
a private dinner on the rooftop|tonight at 8:00.
Okay, where are we|on Farmerís Bounty?
Care to share with us?
Farmerís Bounty?
Where we are.
Where we are is good.
Um, as you know, we|found our spokesperson.
The response room final showed|a 96 in the top two boxes.
His key female descriptors...
were "handsome," "romantic"
with several write-ins|of... "What a hunk."
with several write-ins|of... "What a hunk."
Would you hold this?
J.J., hi.
Um, listen, I just want|to apologize again
for what happened last night.
There was no need|for things to get that way.
I appreciate that.
So... everythingís okay?
Yes, Kate.
I didnít jump; I fell.
Thereís a difference--
a subtle difference,|but nonetheless a difference.
So how did you fall down there?
Because there was no elevator.
And you feel that|was your fault?
You know what, Iím sorry.
I got to concede that|you are a very busy man
and Iím sure there are|plenty of people clamoring
for your particular|brand of attention.
Unfortunately,|I am not one of them.
So if you donít mind, would you|please unlock this door?
Iím concerned you might be|a danger to yourself.
And in such cases
-Hello?!|-state law requires|that I keep you under...
Will someone please|open... Aah! Aah!
Everything all right,|Dr. Geisler?
Yes, Gretchen.|Everythingís fine.
Stuart, Iím going to prescribe
Stuart, Iím going to prescribe
something called Prolixin.
Itís a mild antipsychotic.
Nothing too strong.
"I was wondering...
"I was wondering if you|would like to accompany me...
"If youíve already been|previously engaged
I understand."
Tonight at 7:00, 7:30.
Please donít be late.
I got to talk to you|about this, okay?
íCause thereís some shit here|that just cannot be said.
Did you assemble|a bouquet for Patrice?
Look, you just canít|tell a woman sheís...
"gracefully serene."
No, no, this will not do.
Wha... Why?
What is wrong with this one?
The orange lily|implies extreme hatred.
The begonia and lavender
danger and suspicion,|respectively.
Every flower has|a meaning, Charles.
Might I suggest the amaryllis,|which declares the recipient
a most splendid beauty.
Or the cabbage rose.
-What is this?|-Itís a reply
-to Leopoldís invitation.|-Uh-huh?
Youíre going, right?
I havenít decided yet.
Oh, you havenít decided
if you want to have dinner|on your rooftop with a duke?
Who thinks heís from 1876!
No! And I would|appreciate it if...
Kate, come on, okay?
I donít know what this guy did|to piss you off
but that is|the best apology letter
in the history of mankind.
-Just sign it, Kate.
Itís 4:30. Weíll fax it.
Kate McKayís office.
They hung up.
Hi. Is Patrice there?
Hey, Patrice?
Hi. Itís me, Charlie.
Hey, Charlie.
I was just calling to find out
if you got my flowers--|your flowers.
I was calling to see if you got|the flowers I sent you.
Yeah, I did.
And I was just wondering
if you would like to go|to a movie tonight
and maybe afterwards perhaps
accompany me to dinner?
I mean, I...
I understand completely|if youíre otherwise engaged.
But, uh, you know,|I just wanted to say that, um...
I wanted to say|that youíve, uh...
youíve made an impression on me.
And-and it-itís not|just the way you look--
I mean, which are great.
Your looks are,|you know, top-top shelf.
But, uh...
I donít know, itís, um...
Youíre graceful.
You know, the way you move|and speak.
I mean, some people have a way|with words
and, you know, you... you do.
The bottom line is, I like you.
What about 7:00?
7:00 would be heaven. Okay.
See you then.
It worked!
It worked cool!
Whoís going out|with Patrice?
Charlieís going out|with Patrice!
Charlieís going over there.
Oh, better go get ready.
Better go get changed.
Shouldnít change|too much, though
ícause she likes me|for who I am.
Charlie, you look fantastic.
I got a date.
I got to go. Bye.
Um, have a good time tonight.
My God.
This is beautiful.
The very word for which|I was searching.
May I?
She was a real romantic, my mom.
When Prince Charles and Lady Di|got married, she had a party.
She made crumpets and jam.
It was like a Super Bowl party,|but for moms.
She cried for a week.
I donít know the story
of Prince Charles and Lady Di.
Oh, you donít want to.
Itís a cautionary tale.|Further proof.
Of what?
You canít live a fairy tale.
Iím not very good with men.
Perhaps you havenít found|the right one.
Or, uh, maybe|the whole love thing
is just a grown-up version|of Santa Claus
just a myth weíve been fed|since childhood
so we keep buying magazines|and joining clubs
and doing therapy
and watching movies|with hit pop songs
played over love montages
all in this pathetic attempt|to explain why our love Santa
keeps getting caught|in the chimney.
Otis always told me|love is a leap.
Lamentably,|I was never inspired to jump.
By my 30th birthday,|I had, according to my uncle
become a blemish|on the family name.
So he brought me to this country
with the proviso|I marry an American.
A girl|with a good deal of, um...
Money. Since my parents died
our family fortune had become,|shall we say, depleted.
I would be married now|if I hadnít followed Stuart.
I was to announce a bride|that night.
I donít know.
One of them.
What are you doing?
Iím just cleaning up.
Would you do me|the honor of a dance?
I am not much of a dancer.
Youíre doing famously, then.
Leopold, this was lovely.
But I donít know|if I can leap
even if I am inspired.
People might think|Iím brave, but Iím not.
The brave are simply those|with the clearest vision
of what is before them.
Glory and danger alike
and notwithstanding,|go out to meet it.
Morning, Charles.
How was your evening|with Patrice?
Good. Nice.
How was yours?
Good. Nice.
So, Leo, donít you think itís|time you tell me who you are?
What do you mean?
I mean...
itís a blast doing|the duke thing with you 24/7
but I donít want to see Kate|go through Stuart: The Sequel.
I know she seems pretty tough
but she hasnít|had it that easy.
Sheís always getting|stuck with people
who donít hold up their end.
Like me. I just donít...
I understand, Charles.
You do?
So... who are you?
I am the man|who loves your sister.
Okay, doorís open.
Shut the lid.
Push the drawers in.
Close the door, and|you push this button.
A word to the wise:
Donít press that|till she wakes up.
So she sees you doing it.
Oh, clever.
The proverbial|tree in the woods.
If a man washes a dish|and no one sees it...
Did it happen?
A cup of coffee, my dear.
Thank you.
Nine-grain toast|with strawberries
and mascarpone, madame.
Itís apparently low|in polyunsaturates.
Itís really good.
Itís good.
What should we do today?
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
Thank you. No.
You know what makes me happy?
You donít look good in those.
Theyíre so completely|inappropriate for you.
Kate, Kate, come.
Leopold? Leopold?
Hey, what are you doing?
It boggles the mind|that it is still here.
This is my uncleís home.
Well, was.
This is where I lived.|Good Lord.
A portrait of my parents...|and me.
Uh... uh, Leopold?
Look, I just donít think
that we should just be barging|around here like that.
My old quarters.
What are you doing?
The place where I put|everything I most cared for.
Things I didnít want|my uncle to touch.
My motherís ring.
Oh, itís beautiful.
You know,|I live on an island
connected to everything|by bridges
and I never cross them.
Iíve lived here for ten years
and Iíve never been|to the other side of anything.
Youíve never traveled?
Do you...
Do you miss where youíre from?
In a way, I...
I miss... I miss its rhythm.
It was slower?
Quite a bit slower.
Like today?
Wherever youíre going,|Iím going your way...
Do you hear that, Leopold?
-Do you hear|that music?|-Yes.
Have you ever seen the movie
Breakfast a Tiffanyís?
Uh, no.
Not yet.
You see that guy down|there with the light on?
He listens to the soundtrack
of Breakfast at Tiffanyís|every night
until exactly midnight.
And then he|turns his light off
goes to sleep.
My huckleberry friend
Moon River and me.
Oh, that means itís Sunday.
Oh, I donít want it|to be Sunday.
I want more of this.
More 1876.
But, Kate,|you donít work on Sundays.
We can have more.
Well, oh, no,|ícause Sunday is the day before
the day I work, so...
it gets poisoned.
I see.
Besides, tomorrow is the day
we shoot your commercial.
Would you...?
Might you ever... consider...?
Itís time for bed.
Iím so relaxed.
Thatís all right.
Youíre tucking me in.
Huh, youíre my Otis.
Yes, Your Grace.
Oh, wait.
Hey, hey, donít...|donít go upstairs.
I love you, Kate McKay.
Scone, Your Grace?
Ah, thank you, Millard.
And you brought|the Farmerís Bounty?
But of course.
Fresh creamery butter.
Is there anything|more comforting?
I say there is
and perhaps youíll agree
when you sample fat-free|Farmerís Bounty
with the genuine essence|of creamery butter
in every bite.
With every mouthful|of Farmerís Bounty
you shall receive butterís|luxurious comfort
in your mouth
without adding to the luxury|of your waistline.
-Farmerís Bounty.
Now, on this one
take a bite and smile.
And... cut!
All right, check gate.
-Good enough for me.
Can we get a Dedo up here|and something...
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me. Is this an actual|sample of Farmerís Bounty?
Yeah. Why?
This tastes like saddle soap.
Well, thatís not really|your concern, now, is it?
Not my concern?
This product tastes|like raw suet.
How is that not my concern?
Hey, pal, itís a paycheck!
-Wait a minute.|-Paycheck?
A... This is an outrage!
Donít worry about the taste.
Come back.|We need another shot.
Something that brings|the light up on this...
Hey! Leopold, whatís going on?
What are you doing?
They-they need you|back in there.
Do they?
Yeah. They have to shoot|the rest of the spot.
Theyíre not finished yet.
Well, I want no part of it.
Have you tasted it?
Farmerís Bounty?
Yes, Farmerís Bounty.
Yeah, Iíve tasted it.
Itís revolting.
I know.
You know itís revolting
yet you have no qualms|enlisting me to endorse it?
Itís diet;|itís supposed to be awful.
I mean, what is the problem?
The problem is|that for no reason
beyond my affection for you
I find myself peddling pond scum|to an unsuspecting public.
Hey, listen, you know
the stakes are very high|for me here.
You canít just quit because...
Yes, I can. And so can you.
When one finds oneself|participating
in an endeavor entirely|without merit, one withdraws.
No. No. Because sometimes
you have to do things|that you donít like.
Sometimes you have to suck it up|and finish what you started.
Itís part of life.
You sound like my uncle.
Look, Leopold, Jansen Foods is
a very important|account for my company.
If you donít go back in there
then I get into|a lot of trouble.
Is this what you do|at work, Kate?
Research methods|to deceive people?
Refine lies until|they resemble truth?
Itís no wonder|you dread your work week.
Oh! Man, I donít have time|for this.
What has happened to the world?
You have every convenience,|every comfort
yet no time for integrity.
No. What I donít have time for|are pious speeches
by 200-year-old men
whoíve never had to work|a day in their life.
You have no idea|what Iíve done with my life.
And you-you have no idea|what Iíve done with mine!
I havenít had all that many|comforts and conveniences
Leopold, because Iíve been|paying dues all of my life
and Iím tired,|and I need a rest
and if I have to peddle
a little pond scum to get one
then so be it.
Very well.
Weíre kidding ourselves,|Leopold.
In point of fact
I donít even really know|who you are.
You still donít believe|Iím the man I say I am?
We had a great weekend;|thatís that.
And now itís Sunday.
Itís over.
Thereís such a lot of world|to see...
I know.
I know, I know,|it sounds crazy--
talking about... finding a crack|in time under the East River.
But in, in point,|in point fact, Gretchen
you know...
it is no more crazy than, uh,|a dog finding a rainbow.
Dogs are color-blind, Gretchen.
They donít see color.
Just like we canít see time.
We can feel it.
Oh... we can feel it passing
but, uh, we canít see it;|itís just a blur.
Itís like, uh...
itís like weíre riding|in a, in a supersonic train
and the world is|just blowing by.
But imagine if we could stop|that train, Gretchen. Hmm?
Imagine if we could stop|that train
get out, look around
and see time|for what it really is.
A universe, a world
a thing as unimaginable|as color to a dog.
And as real and tangible|as that chair youíre sitting in.
Now, if we could see it|like that
I mean, really look at it
then... maybe we could see|the flaws as well as the form.
And thatís it.
Itís that simple.
Thatís all I discovered.
Iím just a...
just a guy who saw a crack|in a chair
that no one else could see.
Iím that dog who saw a rainbow.
Only, uh...
none of the other dogs|believe me.
I believe you.
I can see that some things have|happened since I went away.
you have to go back.
You understand|youíll be going back
to the same day|you left, April 28.
So you understand
you might be repeating|a few things.
You might even see me.
Just donít follow me|this time.
Can I go in?
J.J., you asked to see me?
Come on in.
I understand you, uh,|put out a fire
at the shoot yesterday.
Guess Mr. Dukeís got a bit|of an ego on him, huh?
Iím going to England|this week
and I made a decision.
Youíre going to be|the top New York honcho.
So, this is going|to be your office.
Iíll be making it official|tonight.
Thank you, J.J.
Thank you.
Youíve earned it.
Iím heading over|to Jansen to sign
the buy-out papers,|FTC stuff.
So Iíll see you later|at the thing.
-What did he say?|-I got it.
Oh, my God,|thatís wonderful!
Just give me one second,
Iím sorry, Darci. One second.
Hi. Youíve reached Stuart.
Please leave a message.
Leopold, I-I donít know|where you are
but if youíre there,|please pick up.
I got it.
I got the job.
Iím the new|senior vice president
at CRG.
Uh, please call me.
I, um... Iím sorry about the way|things came down yesterday.
I apologize.
I, uh... I just really|need to see you.
Iíd love to see you tonight
but I have this thing|at Farmerís Bounty.
But Iíd love to see you later.
I miss you.
I miss you.
Hey, Stuart.
How you feeling?
Whereís Leo?
He went home.
He was for real.
He was for real.
Holy shit!
Look at this!
Oh, my God.
Chilled, do you understand?|Chilled.
And be sure to leave another|case of the Chateau Marid.
Yes, sir.
Where have you been?!
Otis, I demand explication!
Itís half past 5:00!
Heís not even dressed!
Heíll be ready, my lord,|I assure you.
I donít want him ready.
I want him resplendent!
Hereís the invitation.
Youíve got your table number,|your car number
and Iíve got Morty down there--|the guy you like.
Heís on the Madison side.
Also, your phone sheet|is in here.
And Stuart called|you a couple times.
So, have a great time tonight.
You look beautiful.
I donít think this is right.
Iím supposed to be|going to 2640 Madison.
Thatís where we are,|Miss McKay.
Have a nice evening.
Invitation, please.
Theyíre still plugs.
Theyíre just randomly seeded|with Minoxidil.
No cornrows.
Excuse me.
Hey, Kate.
Thank you.
The hell with facelifts.
Iím into mini-lifts now.
Just a tiny little bit|each year.
I hear theyíre bringing|back the 840 next year.
So Iím just running|out the lease.
-Kate, congratulations.|-Thanks, Bob.
Hey, Kate.
-Congratulations.|-J.J. Hi, Barry.
Thank you.|Thank you very much.
Anyway, Iím just glad|theyíve got them fixed.
I was going to move my office|down to the lobby.
Excuse me.
Kate, donít powder|your nose for too long.
Iím going to|give this speech
in a couple minutes.
All this time I thought|that I had pretzled fate
and it had to be untwisted.
But what I never considered
is that the whole thing|is a pretzel.
A beautiful 4D pretzel|of kismetic inevitability.
Okay, you know what,|get off Park
as soon as you can,|and then go up Madison.
I was supposed to go back.
He was supposed to come forward
then he was supposed|to go back again and...
so was she.
Now it is my pleasure|and honor... take priests|to the bell tower.
You speak of progress|and invention.
But what I offer you|downstairs is reality.
Take a wife.
Let us not bother|with this banter, Uncle.
Tell me whom you want me|to marry.
Well, who has the most money.
Well... that would be Miss Tree|of the Trees of Schenectady.
Consider it done.
Otis, fetch the ring.
I will announce at midnight.
Invitation, please.
Uh, hello.
My name is Stuart Besser.
Iím sorry, I know|weíre not on your list
but his sister is Kate McKay;|she works here.
Iím sorry, sir,|I canít just let you in.
...and I learned that there was|one thing that I could do
and it didnít require money
and it didnít require|a fancy school.
I learned that I could|please people.
And there is nothing wrong|with that!
I am a people pleaser, people!
Thank you so much.
I am so...
Charlie! What are you doing?
Take a look|at these pictures, Kate.
No! No-no-no-no!
Now itís time|to introduce the woman
whoís going to be holding down|the fort in our New York offices
our own little rising star,|Miss Kate McKay!
Just listen to me|for a second, okay, please?
Theyíre introducing me|downstairs right now!
Iím sorry I was|a lousy boyfriend.
Iím sorry I let you down.
I know all you wanted|was someone you could trust...
Oh, Stuart, really
I canít talk about|our relationship right now.
No, Kate, just listen|to me, okay? Please.
Maybe we werenít such|a waste of time after all.
I mean, maybe thereís|a reason I was your guy.
What are you talking about?
Maybe I was supposed to help|you find your guy... Leopold.
You got to go back, Kate.
You got to go back there.
Go back?
You have to jump|off the Brooklyn Bridge
within the next 23 minutes.
Kate, just look|at the pictures, okay?
Is there a... a Kate McKay|in the house?
Yeah. Here I am!
Here she is. Here she is.
Well, without further ado
the new senior vice president|of our New York offices.
Here she is, ladies and|gentlemen-- Kate McKay.
Whoa, whoa! Whoa.
You okay?
Iím sorry.
Thank you.
Quite an entrance, huh?
Thank you, J.J.
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, itís a great night.
We here at CRG have always|considered ourselves
to be in the "Find what|people want" business
and at Jansen, you guys are
in the "Make what|people want" business.
So, imagine|what we can do together.
Weíll be able to find out|exactly what people want
and make it... for them.
So... yeah, so our customers...
will be able to get exactly...
...what they...
...they want.
And, uh...
...itís a great thing to...|to get what you want.
Uh, itís a really good thing.
Unless what you thought|you wanted wasnít really
what you wanted|because what you really...
you couldnít imagine, or you|didnít think it was possible.
But... but what if someone|came along who knew
exactly what you wanted|without asking?
They just knew.
Like they could...|hear your heart beating
or listen to your thoughts.
And what if they were sure|of themselves
and they didnít have|to take a poll
and they loved you...
and you hesitated?
And... I have to go.
I, uh... Iím sorry,|but I have to go.
Stuart, can you tell me
in short, complete sentences
featuring no words|over two syllables
why exactly|I am in these pictures?
Probably not.
-Because you were there.|-I wasnít.
I would remember.
Believe me, I would remember
-if I was there.|-Because youíre|going to be there.
If we get there in time.
These are pictures|of the past, not the future.
Not exactly.
Theoretically speaking
if you go to the past|in the future
then your future|lies in the past.
And that is a picture of you
in the future in the past.
We have to make a run|for it. Letís go.
Come on, come on.
Letís go, letís go. Come on!
Whoa, where the hell do|you think youíre going?
$6.80 on the meter, pal.
Itís going to close, Kate!|Come on!
Ladies and gentlemen,|may I have your attention?
The Duke of Albany|will be making
a very important announcement|in 20 minutes
from this very stage.
And I believe it shall be|an announcement
that will justify|the playing of a bridal waltz.
this is the hard part.
-What?|-The girder.
The girder?
You have to cross|the girder, Kate.
That girder?
Stuart, I canít cross|that girder.
-I canít go across...|-You love him, right?
You love him, right?
Thatís all you need to know.|Now go.
-Youíll be fine.|-Katie...
Charlie... Charlie,|what am I...
How are you...
No, donít worry about me.
-Now, Kate, now.|-Now?
The portalís going to close.
-All right.|-Go.
Oh, God.
You can do it.
Donít look down.
Iíll love you forever.
Love you.
Itís okay.
Lady... lady, what|are you doing?
Step back, lady.
-Itís okay.|-Step back from there, lady.
Come back, lady.
Central, be advised
This is Breech Post Four.
Iíve got a jumper
on the southwest location|of the bridge.
Have a supervisor,|ESU and Harbor respond
to this location forthwith.
Ladies and gentlemen
it is with a glad heart|and a bright eye
that I proudly introduce|my beloved nephew
Leopold, Duke of Albany.
Thank you.
Thank you, Uncle Millard.
Thank you.
Iím sorry, madam, but|this is a private affair.
No, you donít seem|to understand.
I need to get inside.
I need to get inside|right now and...
What seems to be the problem?
Are you Otis?
Well, let us proceed.
Please raise your glasses...
so we may toast|to my bride-to-be
the woman whose|welfare and happiness
shall be my solemn duty|to maintain.
-Oh!|-The future Duchess of Albany...
Kate McKay.
Of the McKays of...?
I love you.
I love you.
If I caught the world|in a bottle
And everything was still|beneath the moon
Without your love,|would it shine for me?
If I was smart as Aristotle
And understood|the rings around the moon
What would it all matter|if you loved me?
Here in your arms where|the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams|to fulfill
And a matter of moments|until the dancing ends
Here in your arms when|everything seems to be clear
Not a solitary thing|would I fear
Except when this moment comes|near the dancingís end
If I caught the world|in an hourglass
Saddled up the moon|so we could ride
Until the stars grew dim
One day|youíll meet a stranger
And all the noise|is silenced in the room
Youíll feel that youíre close|to some mystery
In the moonlight|and everything shatters
You feel as if youíve|known her all your life
The worldís oldest lesson|in history
Here in your arms where|the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams|to fulfill
And a matter of moments|until the dancing ends
Here in your arms when|everything seems to be clear
Not a solitary thing|do I fear
Except when this moment|comes near the dancingís end
Oh, if I caught the world|in an hourglass
Saddled up the moon|and we would ride
Until the stars grew dim
Until the time|that time stands still
K-19 - The Widowmaker CD1
K-19 - The Widowmaker CD2
K-Pax CD1
K-Pax CD2
Kabhi Kabhie (1976) CD1
Kabhi Kabhie (1976) CD2
Kadosh (1999)
Kaena The Prophecy Xena CD1
Kaena The Prophecy Xena CD2
Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai
Kahpe Bizans CD1
Kahpe Bizans CD2
Kairo (2001)
Kajmak In Marmelada (2003)
Kal Ho Naa Ho CD1
Kal Ho Naa Ho CD2
Kalifornia 1993
Kama Sutra A Tale of Love 1996
Kangaroo Jack
Kanto Wanderer 1963
Kanzo Sensei CD1
Kanzo Sensei CD2
Kaosu (Chaos)
Karakter (1997) CD1
Karakter (1997) CD2
Karan Arjun
Karate Kid 2 CD1
Karate Kid 2 CD2
Karate Kid 3
Karate Kid The
Karo (pulse)
Kate And Leopold
Kate and Leopold (2001)
Kavkazskaya plennitsa - Kidnapping Caucasian Style (Leonid Gaidai 1966)
Kaze No Katami - The Wind Carpet (Kamal Tabrizi 2003)
Kdo chce zabit Jessii
Keeping The Faith
Keeping Up Appearances 01 - My Name Is Bouqet
Keeping Up Appearances 02 - Welcoming The Dishy Vicar
Keeping Up Appearances 03 - Visiting Acquaintanance Stately
Keeping Up Appearances 05 - Daisy And Her Toy Boy
Keeping Up Appearances 06 - How To Manage Christening
Keeping Up Appearances 11 - Googley-Eyed Registrar
Keeping Up Appearances 12 - Coctails With Greek Millionaire
Keeping Up Appearances 13 - Unfortunate Prospect
Keeping Up Appearances 14 - Playthings For Daddy
Keeping Up Appearances 15 - Three Piece Suite
Keeping Up Appearances 16 - Picnic For Daddy
Keeping Up Appearances 17 - Very Merry Hyacinth
Keeping Up Appearances 18 - Sea Fever
Keeping Up Appearances 19 - Angel Gabriel Blue
Keeping Up Appearances 20 - Historical Pageant
Kees de jongen CD1
Kees de jongen CD2
Keetie Tippel
Kekec (Joze Gale 1951) CD1
Kekec (Joze Gale 1951) CD2
Kellys Heroes (1970)
Ken Park (2002)
Kenny Rogers - Live by Request
Kes (Ken Loach 1969)
Key Largo
Khakee CD1
Khakee CD2
Khakee CD3
Kid Stays in The Picture The
Kid The CD1
Kid The CD2
Kids Return 1996
Kids Return CD1
Kids Return CD2
Kiki delivery service
Kill Bill CD1
Kill Bill CD2
Kilometer Zero (2000)
King Boxer
King David
King In New York A 1957
King Is Alive The
King Kong vs Godzilla 2 (1962)
King The (2003) CD1
King The (2003) CD2
King of Comedy The (1983)
King of marvin gardens The
Kings Go Forth (Delmer Daves 1958)
Kinjite Forbidden Subjects (J Lee Thompson 1989)
Kiss Me Kate 1953
Kiss Me Stupid - Billy Wilder 1964
Kiss Of Death
Kiss of the Dragon
Kiss the Girls
Kitchen Stories
Kites Over Helsinki
Kitne Door Kitne Paas (1999)
Kjrlighetens Kjtere
Klumps The
Klute 1971
Knafaim Shvurot
Knife In The Water 1962
Knight Rider 1x03
Knight Rider 1x04
Knight Rider 1x05
Knight Rider 1x06
Knight Rider 1x07
Knight Rider 1x08
Knight Rider 1x09
Knight Rider 1x10
Knight Rider 1x11
Knight Rider 1x12
Knights Of The Round Table
Knights Tale A
Knockin On Heavens Door
Koi mil Gaya (2003 Hindi)
Kral Sokolu
Krull 1983 CD1
Krull 1983 CD2
Kuch Naa Kaho 2003
Kukushka 2002
Kumokiri Nizaemon (1978) CD1
Kumokiri Nizaemon (1978) CD2
Kung Fu Hustle 2004
Kushi 2003
Kyun Ho Gaya na