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Time. Time, it has been proposed is the fourth dimension. And yet, for mortal man,|time has no dimension at all. We are like horses|with blinders seeing only|what lies before us. Hear, hear. Forever guessing the future and fabricating the past. -It’s him.|-Who? Brilliant. Quite right, Your Grace. How, you ask, can we lift these shackles and live--|not in the moment but in the glorious expanse|of time’s continuum? Listen, and I shall tell you. The secret lies in the enduring|power of our achievements our creations! As the pyramids testify|to the Egyptians so my glorious erection|shall represent our culture in perpetuity. Behold, rising before you the greatest erection|on the continent. The greatest erection|of the age! The greatest erection|on the planet! Hold this. Of course. For the Herald, Your Grace. I understand|you’ll be making an important announcement|tonight. Good afternoon, ladies.|Please, excuse me, please. Good afternoon. And the Perrier-Jouet|should be chilled. -You understand? Chilled.|-Yes, sir. Leopold! Leopold, where have you been? Leopold! Otis, I demand explication! It’s half past 5:00!|He’s not even dressed! He’ll be ready, my lord.|I assure you. I don’t want him ready.|I want him resplendent! Ah, Miss Blaine. You dance like a... like a herd of cattle. You are a rare woman who lights up a room|simply by leaving it. Might you be rich,|Miss Blaine? You see, whilst I|am the third Duke the little secret of those|of us in the Royal Court-- apart from our|general uselessness-- is our massive|indebtedness. It’s always been|your misfortune, Leopold that you so thoroughly|amuse yourself with the sound|of your own voice. In a life as stagnant as mine that I can amuse myself at all is an evolutionary marvel. Hmm. Please don’t touch that. The device you were|jabbering about. To take priests|to the bell tower. To take anyone, Uncle, to|the floor they so desire. Buildings continue to climb. Soon they will outstrip|the stamina of our legs. You speak of progress|and invention. Yet what I offer you downstairs|is reality. Take a wife. Marry. Marriage... marriage is the promise|of eternal love. As a man of honor, I can|not promise eternally what I have never|felt momentarily. Born into privilege,|yet perversely ashamed of it. That is your tragedy. My God! If my brother could only see you,|he’d be heartbroken. You are no duke! Of course I’m not. The monarchy is dead, Uncle. We are relics.|That is reality. The new Royals are men|of accomplishment. Men like Roebling,|with his bridge Edison, with his lamp Diesel, Bell, Westinghouse... Those men made themselves|from nothing! You, on the other hand,|were born with everything and from it,|fashioned nothing. As of tonight,|I wash my hands of you. Take a good look|at your dance card, Leopold. A wealthy bride|is your only surety. Your Grace,|may I present Miss Tree of the Trees|of Schenectady, sir. of the Trees|of Schenectady, sir. Miss Tree? It’s an honor to be making your royal acquaintance,|Your Highness. Shall we? Many dreams, all useless. Who are you? Uh... No, no, no. Okay, rela... Please, wait, no. I don’t want to harm you. Stop! Please! Sir, wait! Pardon me. Pardon me. Go! Go! Ya! Ya! Ya! Stop, sir! Please! Oh, my God. No! Oh! Let go! Just let go. It’s okay! You don’t understand!|Let go! Oh! I don’t want to hurt you!|Let go! Goddamn it! Whoa, whoa... Oh... Bart! Wait! Shit! Ow! Oh, my God. We must remember, Bart that sometimes it is okay|to color outside the lines. Hello? My Palm Pilot.|You still have it. Kate, it’s 1:00 in the morning. And clearly you’re awake,|so what is the infraction? Look, Kate, I don’t know|where your Palm Pilot is. And I can’t do this right now.|Not now. I’m expecting a call. Oh, Bart. Oh, I’m sorry, baby. She is not a happy person. Goddamn it! You know what, Stuart?|You know what? I’m... Kate... Stuart...? Please. I’ve got|somebody here, okay? I know. I saw her. No, you didn’t. Yes, I did! It’s a him, if that’s|any kind of consolation to you. So, look, now that you know I’m not getting laid,|just go to bed, okay? Nuh-uh, don’t. Do not|hang up on me, Stuart. Don’t do that. Kate, please. I beg of you.|Something big is happening. Something that validates|my entire life... Something that validates|your entire life. What could that possibly be? Are you sitting down? Yes. -No, you’re not.|-Yes, I am. No, you’re not. Ye... Okay. I found it. What did you find? The portal. A crack in the fabric of time. It was over|the East River, Kate just where I said it would be. You found the portal? A portal into April 28th, 1876. I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge|and took a walk in 1876 today. I followed the Duke of Albany|around old New York. Are you listening? Avidly. This here’s the twist, Kate.|Here’s the kicker. What’s the kicker? He followed me home. The Duke of Buffalo... No, the Duke of Albany. ...Albany followed you home through a crack in time. He’s a brilliant engineer. He patented|the counterweight pulley. He invented the elevator,|for Christ’s sake. You know what, Stuart?|You know what? I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I haven’t been|for a whole month now. You can tell me the truth. I am telling you|the truth, Kate. You can tell me you went and picked up a transvestite|in Times Square. I don’t care. You know what, Kate?|This is it, right here. This is it, in a nutshell.|Our downfall. You never-- not once--|believed in me. Oh, I did, Stuart. I did, for four years. And I got burnt. Okay, you want to know|who he is? I’ll tell you who he is. He is a hacker. High end. English. I know him from Columbia. He’s in town for the Mac Expo|at the Javits. We went out, got a little sloppy|on Guinness and he passed out on my couch. And that’s the truth? Mm-hmm. That’s the truth. Okay? Are you happy now? Is that plausible enough for you and your little|focus group? You know what, Stuart? I blew my best years on you. Those were your best? Look... I’m sorry. I have to go. You’ll get your Pilot|in the morning. Orange alert. Oh! Otis! Otis! Bart, stop! It’s okay. -It’s okay.|-Where am I? Well, um, there’s not|an easy explanation for that. If it’s a ransom you seek,|my uncle won’t pay a cent. Except, perhaps, for my demise. No. no. You’re not|being kidnapped. Bart, quiet! I can scarcely see,|thanks to your spray. My eyes feel like Steak au Poivre. So I ask you again,|where the hell am I?! As far as I’m concerned,|you might be Jack the Ripper! And you would have me believe that I’m being detained|at present in the hereafter? The time to come? Yes. Bart, quiet!|He needs a walk. Oh, and you would have me believe that you have found|a crack in time. You, of all people,|should understand. I mean, you’re a scientist. You invented the elevator. What is an elevator? What the hell|are you talk... Where the hell am I?! I told you-- you haven’t actually gone anywhere. You’re still in New York. That, sir, is not New York! I’m afraid it is. No, Kate. Hello. Hello there. What’s your name? What’s your name? -Leopold.|-Tell me something. I’m having trouble|with my G-5. How much RAM do I need|to properly run OS 9.6? Clearly, the Mac Expo is out. So you must be... a man out of time? Or Sergeant Pepper? -You know what? Actually, we could use|a little privacy. Stuart, I want my Palm Pilot. I’m not...|I’m serious. Maybe later on, Kate. I just want|my Palm Pilot, Stuart! No. No. Hey, give me my Palm Pilot! Give it to me. This is madness.|This is madness. Who was that? -I feel as if I’ve seen her... Women have changed|since your time, Leo. They’ve become dangerous. It’s on the landing! You say this is no kidnapping. You say you mean no harm. Then why is it, sir,|you will not unlock the door? I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry about her. I’m... Look, with all due respect I can’t let you just go running around free|out there, okay? This is New York City. It’s not such a safe place|anymore. Look at you. You look like some sort|of psychotic escapee from a Renaissance faire. I understand you|have some anxiety but you have to trust me. I’m going to get you home, okay? I promise. Bart! The portal opens up again|next week. Monday. I know that, because it was|my back-up in case I didn’t make it last night. It’s on a cycle, you know? Kind of like, uh... total eclipse. Once every 20 years.|You understand? Generally,|I understand everything. Since I’ve met you, nothing. I can only assume|I’m in a nightmare brought on by agita,|or else I am dead. You’re not dead. Come here. Sit down. Here. Want some milk in yours? Bart, can I just have... Sorry. He’s-he’s really|got to go out. Look here. Uh... I’d be honored|if you took a look at those. Um, I’ll explain everything|when I get back. He’s got to go out or he’s going to drop|a bomb in there. Come on. Let’s go. Back in five. One quick trip to Spectra, Bart and you and I will be Nobel... Laureates. Come on, Bart. Hey, let’s go. -Come on. Let’s go! Oh! Oh. Oh, Jesus! Good boy, Bart! Stay! Stay, Bart! Stay! Oh, Bart, please stay! Stuart you forgot the pointy thing! Stuart... Look, this is not complex. He gave me the Palm Pilot but he forgot|the pointy thing. I’ve been warned about you. Oh. Really? And what, pray tell did the great|disappointment say? That you were dangerous,|though you hardly look it. -Oh, really?|-A lady in trousers isn’t|dangerous, merely plain. I take it you’re a career woman. Yeah, market research. Mm. Fine avocation|for women, research. Perfect for the feminine mind. Huh. You’re a trip, Lionel. I myself once courted|a librarian in Sussex. Oh. Good for you. Aha! I must confess I feel as though we’ve met| |on a previous occasion. Well, Lionel, seeing as I’ve never met a single|friend of Stuart’s-- I’m not even sure|he’s ever had any-- I really don’t see|how that’s possible. Oh, man! Bart! He just made Lake Erie|out there. You just can’t toss a dog|out into the hall like that. You can’t do that. I assure you, I did not. Let’s go. I beg your pardon? Come on. Let’s go! Bart... Look, pal, I don’t care|how many elevators you got. This one’s in my building. Hang-hang on a second. Sorry about|the elevator, Miss Kate. I’ve got them|on the phone right now. Hey, Gracy. This is Lionel,|Stuart’s friend. How do you do? Ten minutes?|I need someone here right now. -Watch it, man.|-I beg your pardon. Hey, what are you doing? You need to be going|that way. There’s an electron... Hello? Hello? There’s|an electronics store. Hello? I’m sorry, miss. There’s a patch of grass|across the street. Take him there.|He’ll do his business. Can you give this|to Stuart, please? It’s his cable bill. They haul our furniture|and cradle our children but this morning, from|the Battery to the Bronx elevators have mysteriously... So sorry. Stupid! I do beg your pardon. I beg your pardon. Are you going to remove that? I beg your pardon? Pick it up|and put it in the trash. Absolutely not. Maybe you don’t understand. It’s against the law|to leave it there. Are you suggesting, madam,|there exists a law compelling gentlemen to lay hold|of canine bowel movements? I’m suggesting you|pick the poop up and throw it away now. I refuse. Respectfully. All right. What’s your name, fancy pants? Leopold... Alexis Elija... Walker Thomas Garrett Mountbatten. All right, Stuart. Have a nice day. I appreciate you putting in|a good word for me but J.J.’s not back from London. Right. Bye. What’s with the elevators? It’s happening everywhere. Darci. Last page. I’m sorry. Did everyone live|happily ever after? He lost his leg to gangrene|waiting for her on the island. But they’re together now. Wonderful. Oh, look, you got|your Palm Pilot back. A nightmare. Okay, so who do I owe? Okay, Bobby at Hasbro. Reeves at Crunch. And the finals came in|for "Love for Sale." The call with the studio’s|at 4:00. The margarine thing’s in 15 in the conference room. J.J. wants to talk|to you before that. Oh, and one more thing. I remember that you told me|to start thinking ahead so I know your brother’s|getting back from his retreat tomorrow and if you want something|in the fridge... -Darci...|-Mm-hmm? Can you tell me|why I’m upset right now? Because, uh... J.J. called this morning. That is why I have a cell phone. -So you can call me...|-Kate, Kate,|he didn’t call. He just popped his head in here|and spoke two sentences. So he’s back? Margo says he’s going to make|a big announcement about the merger next week. Margo? What does she know? How does she know anything about anything? Oh. All right. So he|popped his head in here. All right, so you have to tell|me exactly what he said, Darci. You have to start|at the beginning and tell me... He said, "Tell Kate I’m going|to sit in on Farmer’s Bounty." J.J. Good morning, Kate. Good morning. I’ll see you in there. Good Lord, it still stands. The world has changed|all around it but Roebling’s erection|still stands! That, my friend, is a miracle. What? It’s a miracle, man! It’s a bridge. Tell me... when did they adapt it|for steam engines? The fire brigade. I don’t know how it happened. I found him in a shaft. Stuart! Leopold, what are you doing|out here? Get back inside! One, two, three. They’re taking him|to Goodman Memorial. Fresh creamery butter. Is there anything|more comforting? There is and I know you will agree when you try Farmer’s Bounty with the essence of real butter|in every bite. with the essence of real butter|in every bite. Your first choice. However, 45% of our demo|circled "shifty" as his key descriptor.|Not good. This is what I say. Everybody should be trying Farmer’s Bounty with the real, rich, creamy|taste of real butter. Try it, and you will be losing|pounds. Poof! Boom! Voila! Your second choice. Unfortunately, the group found|him obnoxious, abrasive and a whopping 72%|found him just plain creepy. The spot rolls out in four days.|We have to... What the hell|am I supposed to do? We have to do|another session. Tomorrow.|I had my assistant book the response room at National|so we can decide then and there. Kate, are you all right? You okay? I’m fine. Geez, Kate, I’d ask for a decaf. Monica, I need you|to call Barney’s. I need a white blouse,|size small in Kate’s office by lunch. -Oh, dear. Hi, you’ve reached Stuart. Please leave a message. Leopold? Leopold, look,|don’t be frightened. This is Stuart, okay? Is it Bell’s talking telegraph? I saw a prototype|at last year’s faire. I need you to pick up|the handset, Leo. You pick up the green handset,|because I need to talk to you... Are-are you there? -Hello?|-Leopold, thank God. Listen, they’re taking me|to X Rays. Everything’s going to be fine|but you have to stay in the apartment,|do you understand me? Oh, Stuart,|I saw Roebling’s bridge today. I saw it... complete. Yes, yes, but listen to me. You can’t go out again. You have to stay|in the apartment. Stay in the apartment?|For how long? Leo, I’ll be back tonight. I promise--|no more field trips. Would you... Hel... hello? Stuart? Hello? Blast! Hello. Hello. Who are you? Hector. My mom works late|on Wednesdays so I watch TV with Stuart. Want some Pirate’s Booty? Hang on. Excuse me, J.J., I wanted|to thank you for the shirt. That was very nice. Come in, come in. Yeah. Uh-huh. Absolutely. Oh, good, good. Yeah, she’s here right now. I’ll tell her. Okay... okay. Bye. Sit down. That was Barry. He was thrilled with your work at the screening last night. Oh, good. Good. You’re a rarity|among women, Kate. I’m sorry? You don’t cling to illusion. You don’t get caught up|in emotion. You don’t do pretty. I don’t? You skew male. You’re like a man. A man who understands women--|their desires, their needs. You understand them but you’re not really|one of them. You don’t mind|my being frank, do you? No. I don’t. No. Edamame? Kate? But one day, he lowered|the Jolly Roger -Stu?|-and set sail in search of another kind of treasure. Not money, not jewels,|not gold... but a bride. Despite his being a ruffian|of the brine fearless in his plunder and merciless with the sword the Pirate King|was also lonely. You see,|he had never met a lady. He never met a girl? No. Not a girl, not a lady,|not even his own mother. -So what happened?|-As with all comedies the most ridiculous thing|imaginable-- the Pirate King fell in love with|the major general’s daughter. I had the good fortune to see|the premiere last month at the Fifth Avenue Theatre. Since when is|Penzance at the Fifth? Is it your habit, sir to simply enter a conversation|without introduction? to simply enter a conversation|without introduction? Whoa, you are deep in it. It’s cool. I’m an actor, too. I’m Charlie. I live downstairs. Kate McKay,|senior vice president. Darci, it hasn’t happened. All he did was dangle a carrot. Until he makes a decision the pressure’s doubled. When’s he going|to make a decision? We’re having dinner tomorrow|to discuss it further at Commune. -Kate?|-Yeah. -I have Stuart on the line.|-No! -He says he’s in the hospital.|-No! Leopold is just sitting alone|in my apartment right now. God knows what could happen|to him. Do you know he got outside|today? Of course he did--|I made him walk your dog. What? No, Kate,|you can’t do that! He can’t go outside! Jesus Christ, Kate. He’s from 1876, Kate. He doesn’t know our customs. If something were|to happen to him -it could be catastrophic.|-Shh! If he doesn’t go back to April 28, 1876,|he doesn’t get married he doesn’t have children,|and you want to know what? What happened|with the elevators today, well that’s going to seem|like a walk in the park. Stuart! This is embarrassing. It’s embarrassing now,|all right? Someone has to keep|an eye on him. Stuart, he’s a grown man. He’s a grown man. He’s fine. He can take care of himself. -No. Wait. Aah!|-I’m going. Kate, please. Just take this to Spectra, okay? Get it developed. You’ll see I’m telling|the truth. Tell Manny it’s important. You want double prints? That’s not funny, Kate. This is not a joke. You need help, Stuart. You need help. ...square of the hypotenuse I’m very good at integral|and differential calculus I know the scientific names|of beings animalculous In short, in matters|vegetable, animal and mineral I am the very model|of a modern major-general. Charlie? Hey, Kate! Can I see you downstairs|for a minute? I invited someone to dinner. He’s up there all alone. Stuart’s in the hospital. I didn’t think you’d|have such a problem... No, you didn’t think, Charlie. You didn’t think. You came home early,|one day early from actor camp. Okay, it’s not actor camp and yeah, I came home|a day early, all right? There was this tai chi|broad who kept trying -stick her fingers...|-No, this is the point. You immediately march upstairs to my ex-boyfriend’s apartment and you invite|his freakish friend... See, that’s what it’s about. It’s not that|I went up there. It’s that it was|your ex-boyfriend... No, it’s not about Stuart. Greetings, Kate. Charles. Hey, Leo. Be nice. So, when’s Stuart getting back? Couple days, maybe a week. He promised me that he would|return late this evening. Well, maybe he will, Leopold. He’s so big on keeping|his promises. May I have the next course? There is no next course. Ha. Where I come from the meal is the result|of reflection and study. Menus are prepared in advance timed to perfection. It is said,|without the culinary arts the crudeness of reality|would be unbearable. We had a saying|in the McKay house: "You shake and shake|the ketchup bottle. None will come,|and then a lot’ll." What is that? I beg your pardon? Why are you standing? I’m accustomed to stand when a lady leaves the table. Tell me, Charles when Stuart and your|sister were engaged did you happen to read his papers on|the temporal universe? I spent the morning perusing|them, and must confess... Stuart and I were never engaged. Not even close. But I did read... Thank you. But I did read his papers however, to show support. Is Stuart still trying to make a time machine? That’s the beauty of it--|he discovered no machine was necessary. All one had to do was|to develop formula to forecast portals-- natural windows|in the fabric of time. Apparently, Stuart located one utilizing modern... Ah! Utilizing modern theories|of weather prediction. What’s a portal? An opening which exists|for but a moment. This explains why one must jump through it|from a height-- in order to achieve|the required velocity. The speed of gravity,|to be exact. It’s quite brilliant. You are so method. You don’t even break|for a second, do you? It’s unbelievable! Oh, stop it, please! No more! Stop, please? I beg you. I’m tired. Can you go away?|Can you just go away? Can you go away? She’s drunk, Leo. Oh, shut up, Charlie! And you, can you go upstairs? Can you go away? I am truly sorry if I have|offended you in any way. Goodnight, Charles. Goodnight, Charles. Goodnight, Leo. What the hell was that? He thinks he’s from|the 19th century, Charlie. He thinks he’s a duke. I know. Isn’t that cool? No. Kate, he’s in character. He is an actor. Oh, really? For what show? You know that just because someone doesn’t have| |a paying gig it doesn’t mean they’re not|working on their craft. What’s going on here? I think there’s something wrong|with his, uh... -thing. Give me that telephone. No. Give it to me. No, I need to... What do you expect me to do? You took away my cell phone. They’re not allowed|on hospital property. I have to make a phone call! You’re not going|to make one now. No, no, you don’t understand. This is a very important|phone call. I have to leave|this hospital now. I can’t be here anymore. Mr. Besser I am tired|of telling you this. You are not going nowhere until Dr. Feinstein signs|your release! Did you ever take any|earth science, Esther, hmm? You look like a smart woman. Ever hear of the|time-space continuum? Sounds important, doesn’t it?|Well, it is. And you want to know|something, Esther? It’s broken! Okay? And I’m the only guy|who can fix it. So why don’t you|go down the hall there and get on your|little telephone and call Dr. Feinstein... Goodnight, Mr. Besser. You tell him that... You tell him that I... Point the toes,|pull your shoulders back. Take a deep breath in and then exhale|into downward-facing dog. Oh, be quiet! Be quiet... oh! Bart, shut up! That thing is a damned hazard! It’s just a toaster! Well, insertion of bread|into that so-called toaster produces no toast at all-- merely warm bread! Inserting the bread twice|produces charcoal. So, clearly,|to make proper toast it requires|one and a half insertions which is something|for which the apparatus doesn’t begin to allow! One assumes that when the General|of Electric built it he might have tried using it. One assumes the General might|take pride in his creations instead of just foisting them on an unsuspecting public. You know something? Nobody gives a rat’s ass that you have to push|the toast down twice. You know why? Because everybody|pushes their toast down twice! Not where I come from. Oh, because where you come from toast is the result|of reflection and study. Yes, you mock me. But perhaps one day, when you’ve awoken from a pleasant slumber to the scent of a warm brioche smothered in marmalade|and fresh creamery butter you’ll understand that life is not solely comprised|of tasks, but tastes. Say that again. Pardon me? -Did they start yet?|-Yes. Session list. Leopold, Darci.|Darci, Leopold. I’d like him to read. Can you tack him on|at the end? And, Leopold, go with Darci. She’ll take you to the greenroom|and explain everything. I need to work out. I need a place I can work out. If I could get Mr. Duke? Is he ready? Where is he? Oh, my God, look at this. Let’s skip this one. Mr. Duke, right here|on the floor. Excuse me,|that’s your mark, right there. Just stand on that tape line. Look, forget this guy. I can’t waste|any more time, J.J. We need to make|a decision now. All right, we’ve got|plenty of good choices. Let’s cut it off, Kate. That would be a mistake, J.J. Kate, the client wants|to move on. We should see this last guy. It’ll... Two minutes! I think he looks like|the Quaker Oats guy. Well, Phil, it’s really not|about what you think. It’s about what they think. They’ve been in a coma all day and now look at them. To them, this guy is a dream. He’s handsome,|honest, courteous. Stands when you|walk in a room. Brings you brioche in bed. If you eat his margarine maybe your hips will shrink and he’ll come to your door. I take it this is to be|delivered in direct address as on Geronimo. Geronimo? He means Geraldo. Exactly. Okay, everyone-- quiet please. And action. Start talking, bud. Fresh creamery butter. Is there anything|more comforting? I say there is. And perhaps you’ll agree|when you sample fat-free Farmer’s Bounty with the genuine essence|of creamery butter in every bite. With every mouthful|of Farmer’s Bounty you shall receive butter’s|luxurious comfort in your mouth without adding to the luxury|of your waistline. Not bad, Kate. Where’d you find him? He lives in my building. Where do I sign? Right here, and here. Oh! Hi. That was spectacular, Kate. Thanks, J.J. A lot to talk about|tonight at dinner. Nice work, Mr. Margarine. Thank you. Outfit was a great idea. Nice. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Whoo! You seem pleased. Oh, you did so great in there! Man! You are going to be on|a national television spot! I take it you’re dining|with that man tonight. Huh? Oh, yeah, J.J. He’s my boss. You require a chaperone. His intentions are obvious. I’m alone with you. Do I need a chaperone? We’re not courting, Kate. If we were, as a man of honor I would have informed you|of my intentions in writing. Oh... Good day. Hey! Kate, why don’t we take|one of these. They’re for tourists. Sorry, she doesn’t|seem interested. Oh, hey, hello. Hello. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, you... Kate! Hey, you asshole! Hey! I’m going to get you! Hey! Asshole! Goddamn it. Give me your hand. What? Your hand, woman! Yah! Yah! What do you think you’re doing? Whoa, hey! Yah! I warn you, scoundrel I was trained to ride|at the King’s Academy and schooled in weaponry|by the palace guard. You stand no chance. Where you run, I shall ride and when you stop,|the steel of this strap will be lodged in your brain. Your boyfriend’s|a very good rider. Yeah. Are you for real? Pardon me? Are you for real? I believe so. You’re a duke. I was born a duke. I’ve never felt like one. Stay. Sit. On your feet. Stay. Stay. Good boy. I’m off to dinner. What are you two doing? I don’t know. Maybe we’ll watch|the rest of the game or go out or something. Oh, thank you. Kate, may I repeat my offer|to serve as a chaperone? No, thank you, Leopold. Charles, don’t you|find this inappropriate? As her brother,|I would think... As her brother, I would think that my sister would invite me|to an audition. Could be just me, though. Seems kind, but... -Charlie.|-Hmm? You’re not exactly|a margarine spokesperson. I can’t sell butter, Kate? I don’t mean to be insulting... It’s insulting. I’m an actor. You don’t have faith in me|to sell butter? No. No. I’m sorry. I can do British, Kate. I’m an actor.|I can be anybody! You’re a very, very good actor. -I am a good actor.|-You are. Okay, fine, all right. A Victorian dude who’s never|seen a Mets game watching TV. Okay. Scene-- I say,|are those little people in that box of phosphorous? Crikey, I believe it is! This game’s more|beguiling than cricket! Good golly, oh, Jesus! It looks like Mike Piazza|just hit a game! How about Canadian? Oh, right on. Right on, you like butter, huh? Yeah, what’s that about? Good night. Good night. ...all those people|up in that stadium. Know what they probably|could go for? Some margarine! When your friend walked in|in that outfit I was getting a little|nervous for you there. "If you eat his margarine,|maybe your hips will shrink." It’s brilliant. You saved Phil from|his own ambivalence. I knew it was the way to go--|in my gut. I’m counting on that gut. Can I get a bottle|of your ‘95 Lynch-Bages and a bottle of Evian? I’ll tell you one thing your friend is going to be|bigger than Mr. Whipple. Thanks. You’re not sleeping with him,|are you? No. No. Leo. Leo, come on. Come here. How’s it going, man? See the girl with|the long brown hair? That’s Patrice. She’s lovely. She’s mine. Congratulations. Hey, everybody, this is Leo! Leo, this is everybody. What’s up? Dennis. Shelby, Allison, Monica. And this, this is the insatiable Patrice. Hey, Charlie. Hey. How do you do? Patrice, let me assist you. Thanks. You got it? I was going to get it. Let me get that for you. There you go. You look nice tonight. Very... Like a Judy Blume book. That’s good, because|I thought for a moment that body of water here|was a moat. No, that’s a pond. The gardens are devastating. They are. They’re very,|very beautiful. Ooh. You’ll have to come|and see them firsthand. Right, right. After the merger I’m going to be stuck|over there, setting things up. I’ll be craving|a little face time from my new top|honcho in New York. What are you saying? I’m saying you should|come visit. I’ll fly you over|for the weekend. Oh, yeah, I heard that. The other part--|the part before that. The part about the top honcho. I didn’t understand that,|that part. How about catching an opera|Saturday? La Bohéme’s at the Met. Okay, so she comes back--|the audience is about to leave-- she comes back on stage and she starts|squirting the audience with this turkey baster|filled with this pine mist. And she’s screaming|"Un-sex me! Un-sex me!" But no tears. Just raw human passion. Isn’t Willem Dafoe|part of that group? Yeah, and he did this monologue|about how all the best things in life are|hidden in people’s basements. Like the Louvre. I’m sorry. You were saying, Charles? Just... No, what about the Louvre? Tell us what you|were going to say. Well, only a fraction of|the Louvre is on the walls. The rest is in|the basement. You’ve been in the basement|of the Louvre? Oh, yes. I was an art history major|at Vassar. Ah. And so, what’s down there? Well, that’s where|the real show begins. Unspoiled by dilettante. DaVinci, Michelangelo,|David, Chardin. "Allow me to assist you,|Patrice. "Oh, let me light that|for you, Monica. "What, this? "This is my family crest. "Been in the family for...|Oh, in the basement? "What do they have|in the basement? "Why, the works of da Vinci "Michelangelo, Chardin, David all surrounded by great coral|sponges to absorb the moisture." Just for the record,|I was working it. I was in the zone and I would have|gotten her number if you hadn’t turned|the evening into a guided tour|of the Louvre. My apologies. Let’s get|one thing straight. Patrice, she thought|you were cute-- probably gay and cute. And cute, Leo,|that’s the kiss of death. -Perhaps.|-Perhaps? Certainly. I believe this is her number. As I see it, Patrice has not|an inkling of your affections. And it’s no wonder. You, Charles,|are a merry-andrew. A what? Everything plays a farce to you. Women respond to sincerity. This requires pulling one’s|tongue from one’s cheek. No one wants to be|romanced by a buffoon. Now, that number rings her. -Yes.|-So ring her tomorrow. I can’t. She gave|the number to you. Only because I told her|of your affections. Wha-What did you say? Merely that you admired her but you were hesitant|to make an overture since you’d been told|she was courting another. Shit. That’s good! Wha-What did she say? She handed me the napkin. Charles, it’s quite late. No, no, no,|she won’t be home yet. I get her machine,|I leave a message ball’s in her court. You’re ladling calculation|upon comedy. The point is,|to keep the ball in your court. You’re right. You’re right. Okay. Nothing need be done|till tomorrow. Tomorrow.|Then I make my move. An overture, Charles. Make your intentions known. Think of pleasing her,|not vexing her. No vexing. You’re intoxicated.|We should retire. I’m sure Kate will be home. I doubt it. But it’s nearly midnight. You like her, don’t you? -Who?|-Kate. You do!|-Oh, Charles, stop. You like my sister! Well, you made your|intentions known, right? -Right?|-You’ve been drinking. Leo, Commune... right around the corner. We could stop in, you could|give me a couple of pointers pull out a chair or two-- you could throw out a|gesture here or there. Yeah, see, it’s one|thing with Patrice. You don’t give a shit. It’s a whole other ball of wax when it’s a girl you like, huh? Yeah, who’s|the merry-andrew now? You want to vex my sister! I have to confess that|I’m a little bit confused. Um... No. Thank you. When you asked me|to dinner tonight I was under the impression that we were here to discuss... The merger. Yes. Right. Yes. And a possible promotion. Yes. Yes, that, too. And, well, dinner|is winding down and we haven’t|really discussed anything even|remotely relevant to what I thought|we came here to... I don’t believe I’ve ever|seen you this flustered, Kate. You haven’t even kissed me yet. Yeah. Right. Well... I like you, J.J., I do. I like you quite a bit. Um, as a matter of fact I think you would agree|that a working... a successful|working relationship requires a great deal of... What exactly is our|working relationship? Kate... Hi, Kate! Hi, Charlie. Well...|what are you doing here? We just thought we’d come by -to say hi.|-Kate. -J.J., right?|-Right. Might I have a word with you? Now?|-In private. No! No. Mr. Margarine. Please... please join us. And where did you say it is? -In Sussex.|-Near Ballmour. -Yes.|-Built in the 18th century. Early 18th century. Really? Are you quite sure? Yes. He’s got pictures, Leopold. Perhaps you were swindled,|because I can assure you as of the late 19th century there’s nothing|but farmland near Ballmour. -You’re mistaken.|-That’s not possible. Well, it’s quite possible,|Leopold, that you are mistaken. No, it is not. ...the only manor house|in the county. I know because I grew up there. Leopold, it wasn’t... Leo, do you enjoy opera? -I do. And do you?|-Oh, yes. It keeps... keeps me alive. Do you have a favorite? Bohéme. La Bohéme. - La Bohéme.|-I’ve seen it 12 times. That’s... that’s how|I learned to speak French. You speak French? Fluently. Oh. Ah. Que ton visage est doux entouré par la lumière|de la lune. What did he say? "How sweet your face looks gently encircled|by the soft moonlight." Oh, I like that. From the opening scene|of Bohéme. A stunning duet. Andre sings it to Mimi. Andre... I invited Kate|to the Met next week. She’s never been. Patrone is singing Andre,|and she turned me down. Can you explain that, Leopold? Well... La Bohéme is one|of man’s great achievements and should not be missed. But perhaps Kate resists|on moral grounds. How so? Should we get the check? Well, some feel that|to court a woman in one’s employ is nothing more than|a serpentine effort to transform a lady to a whore. Oh. J.J. This guy’s charming, Kate. The Duke of Margarine|thinks me a serpent. -No, he doesn’t.|-No, not a serpent. That’s too grand a word. Simply a braggart and a cad who knows less French than I,|if that’s possible. And by the way there’s no Andre in|Bohéme-- it’s Rudolfo. And though it takes place|in France it’s rarely played in French,|as it is written in Italian. Good night. Sorry. Kate, might I have a word? -Morning.|-Hi. -You want some coffee?|-No, thanks. You want to read...|you want to read your paper? No, thank you, Charlie. I want to go to work and try and clean up|this mess you made. You sure you don’t... Uh... Kate... Uh, Kate! -What?|-I-I just thought maybe you’d want a-a kiwi|for-for-for the subway. That’s a papaya, Charlie. Oh. You’re right. Okay. But while using the product 80% found the product|too soft to be... effective. This, of course, presents a conundrum for us marketeers. How do we maintain a soft feel|on the exterior of a plastic wrap or pack|while retaining the useful tensile strength|in the sheets? Now, I’m going to suggest|to the Summer Soft people to scale back to a limited|release of the product in the mid-Atlantic states,|where we can refine the product on the basis of extensive... Dearest Katherine... I behaved as an imbecile|last night animated in part by drink,|in part by your beauty and in part|by my own foolish pride. And for that|I am profoundly sorry. Please accept|as a gesture of apology a private dinner on the rooftop|tonight at 8:00. Okay, where are we|on Farmer’s Bounty? Kate? Care to share with us? Farmer’s Bounty? Where we are. Where we are is good. Um, as you know, we|found our spokesperson. The response room final showed|a 96 in the top two boxes. His key female descriptors... were "handsome," "romantic" with several write-ins|of... "What a hunk." with several write-ins|of... "What a hunk." Great. Would you hold this? J.J.? J.J., hi. Um, listen, I just want|to apologize again for what happened last night. There was no need|for things to get that way. I appreciate that. So... everything’s okay? Yes, Kate. I didn’t jump; I fell. There’s a difference-- a subtle difference,|but nonetheless a difference. So how did you fall down there? Because there was no elevator. And you feel that|was your fault? You know what, I’m sorry. I got to concede that|you are a very busy man and I’m sure there are|plenty of people clamoring for your particular|brand of attention. Unfortunately,|I am not one of them. So if you don’t mind, would you|please unlock this door? I’m concerned you might be|a danger to yourself. And in such cases -Hello?!|-state law requires|that I keep you under... Will someone please|open... Aah! Aah! Everything all right,|Dr. Geisler? Yes, Gretchen.|Everything’s fine. Stuart, I’m going to prescribe Stuart, I’m going to prescribe something called Prolixin. It’s a mild antipsychotic. Nothing too strong. "I was wondering... "I was wondering if you|would like to accompany me... "If you’ve already been|previously engaged I understand." Tonight at 7:00, 7:30. Please don’t be late. I got to talk to you|about this, okay? ’Cause there’s some shit here|that just cannot be said. Did you assemble|a bouquet for Patrice? Look, you just can’t|tell a woman she’s... "gracefully serene." No, no, this will not do. Wha... Why? What is wrong with this one? The orange lily|implies extreme hatred. The begonia and lavender danger and suspicion,|respectively. Every flower has|a meaning, Charles. Might I suggest the amaryllis,|which declares the recipient a most splendid beauty. Or the cabbage rose. Darci! Hmm? -What is this?|-It’s a reply -to Leopold’s invitation.|-Uh-huh? You’re going, right? I haven’t decided yet. Oh, you haven’t decided if you want to have dinner|on your rooftop with a duke? Who thinks he’s from 1876! No! And I would|appreciate it if... Kate, come on, okay? I don’t know what this guy did|to piss you off but that is|the best apology letter in the history of mankind. -Just sign it, Kate. It’s 4:30. We’ll fax it. Kate McKay’s office. They hung up. Hi. Is Patrice there? Hey, Patrice? Hi. It’s me, Charlie. Hey, Charlie. I was just calling to find out if you got my flowers--|your flowers. I was calling to see if you got|the flowers I sent you. Yeah, I did. And I was just wondering if you would like to go|to a movie tonight and maybe afterwards perhaps accompany me to dinner? I mean, I... I understand completely|if you’re otherwise engaged. But, uh, you know,|I just wanted to say that, um... Yeah? I wanted to say|that you’ve, uh... you’ve made an impression on me. And-and it-it’s not|just the way you look-- I mean, which are great. Your looks are,|you know, top-top shelf. But, uh... I don’t know, it’s, um... What? You’re graceful. You know, the way you move|and speak. I mean, some people have a way|with words and, you know, you... you do. The bottom line is, I like you. Patrice? What about 7:00? 7:00? 7:00 would be heaven. Okay. See you then. It worked! It worked cool! Who’s going out|with Patrice? Charlie’s going out|with Patrice! Charlie’s going over there. Oh, better go get ready. Better go get changed. Shouldn’t change|too much, though ’cause she likes me|for who I am. Oh. Hey. Charlie, you look fantastic. -Yeah?|-Yeah. I got a date. I got to go. Bye. Bye. Kate? Yeah? Um, have a good time tonight. Bye. My God. This is beautiful. The very word for which|I was searching. May I? She was a real romantic, my mom. When Prince Charles and Lady Di|got married, she had a party. She made crumpets and jam. It was like a Super Bowl party,|but for moms. She cried for a week. I don’t know the story of Prince Charles and Lady Di. Oh, you don’t want to. It’s a cautionary tale.|Further proof. Of what? You can’t live a fairy tale. I’m not very good with men. Perhaps you haven’t found|the right one. Maybe. Or, uh, maybe|the whole love thing is just a grown-up version|of Santa Claus just a myth we’ve been fed|since childhood so we keep buying magazines|and joining clubs and doing therapy and watching movies|with hit pop songs played over love montages all in this pathetic attempt|to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught|in the chimney. Otis always told me|love is a leap. Lamentably,|I was never inspired to jump. By my 30th birthday,|I had, according to my uncle become a blemish|on the family name. So he brought me to this country with the proviso|I marry an American. A girl|with a good deal of, um... Charm? Money. Since my parents died our family fortune had become,|shall we say, depleted. I would be married now|if I hadn’t followed Stuart. I was to announce a bride|that night. Who? I don’t know. Someone. One of them. What are you doing? I’m just cleaning up. Would you do me|the honor of a dance? Please? I am not much of a dancer. You’re doing famously, then. Leopold, this was lovely. But I don’t know|if I can leap even if I am inspired. People might think|I’m brave, but I’m not. The brave are simply those|with the clearest vision of what is before them. Glory and danger alike and notwithstanding,|go out to meet it. Hey. Morning, Charles. How was your evening|with Patrice? Good. Nice. How was yours? Good. Nice. So, Leo, don’t you think it’s|time you tell me who you are? What do you mean? I mean... it’s a blast doing|the duke thing with you 24/7 but I don’t want to see Kate|go through Stuart: The Sequel. I know she seems pretty tough but she hasn’t|had it that easy. She’s always getting|stuck with people who don’t hold up their end. Like me. I just don’t... I understand, Charles. You do? Yes. So... who are you? I am the man|who loves your sister. Okay, door’s open. Shut the lid. Push the drawers in. Close the door, and|you push this button. A word to the wise: Don’t press that|till she wakes up. So she sees you doing it. Oh, clever. The proverbial|tree in the woods. If a man washes a dish|and no one sees it... Did it happen? Right. A cup of coffee, my dear. Thank you. Breakfast? Nine-grain toast|with strawberries and mascarpone, madame. It’s apparently low|in polyunsaturates. It’s really good. It’s good. What should we do today? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Thank you. No. You know what makes me happy? You don’t look good in those. They’re so completely|inappropriate for you. Kate. Kate, Kate, come. Leopold? Leopold? Hey, what are you doing? It boggles the mind|that it is still here. This is my uncle’s home. Well, was. This is where I lived.|Good Lord. A portrait of my parents...|and me. Uh... uh, Leopold? Look, I just don’t think that we should just be barging|around here like that. Leopold? My old quarters. What are you doing? Hey. The place where I put|everything I most cared for. Hmm. Things I didn’t want|my uncle to touch. My mother’s ring. Oh, it’s beautiful. You know,|I live on an island connected to everything|by bridges and I never cross them. I’ve lived here for ten years and I’ve never been|to the other side of anything. You’ve never traveled? No. Do you... What? Do you miss where you’re from? In a way, I... I miss... I miss its rhythm. It was slower? Quite a bit slower. Like today? Yes. Wherever you’re going,|I’m going your way... Do you hear that, Leopold? -Do you hear|that music?|-Yes. Have you ever seen the movie Breakfast a Tiffany’s? Uh, no. "No." Not yet. You see that guy down|there with the light on? Mm-hmm. He listens to the soundtrack of Breakfast at Tiffany’s|every night until exactly midnight. And then he|turns his light off goes to sleep. My huckleberry friend Moon River and me. Oh, that means it’s Sunday. Oh, I don’t want it|to be Sunday. I want more of this. More 1876. But, Kate,|you don’t work on Sundays. We can have more. Well, oh, no,|’cause Sunday is the day before the day I work, so... it gets poisoned. I see. Besides, tomorrow is the day we shoot your commercial. Kate. Hmm? Would you...? Might you ever... consider...? Hmm? It’s time for bed. Oh. I’m so relaxed. That’s all right. Oh... You’re tucking me in. Yes. Huh, you’re my Otis. Yes, Your Grace. Oh, wait. Hey, hey, don’t...|don’t go upstairs. Stay. I love you, Kate McKay. Scone, Your Grace? Ah, thank you, Millard. And you brought|the Farmer’s Bounty? But of course. Ah! Fresh creamery butter. Is there anything|more comforting? I say there is and perhaps you’ll agree when you sample fat-free|Farmer’s Bounty with the genuine essence|of creamery butter in every bite. With every mouthful|of Farmer’s Bounty you shall receive butter’s|luxurious comfort in your mouth without adding to the luxury|of your waistline. -Farmer’s Bounty. Now, on this one take a bite and smile. And... cut! All right, check gate. -Good enough for me. Can we get a Dedo up here|and something... Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. Is this an actual|sample of Farmer’s Bounty? Yeah. Why? This tastes like saddle soap. Well, that’s not really|your concern, now, is it? Not my concern? This product tastes|like raw suet. How is that not my concern? Hey, pal, it’s a paycheck! -Wait a minute.|-Paycheck? A... This is an outrage! Don’t worry about the taste. Come back.|We need another shot. Something that brings|the light up on this... Leopold. Leopold! Hey! Leopold, what’s going on? What are you doing? They-they need you|back in there. Do they? Yeah. They have to shoot|the rest of the spot. They’re not finished yet. Well, I want no part of it. Why? Have you tasted it? Farmer’s Bounty? Yes, Farmer’s Bounty. Yeah, I’ve tasted it. It’s revolting. I know. You know it’s revolting yet you have no qualms|enlisting me to endorse it? It’s diet;|it’s supposed to be awful. I mean, what is the problem? The problem is|that for no reason beyond my affection for you I find myself peddling pond scum|to an unsuspecting public. Hey, listen, you know the stakes are very high|for me here. You can’t just quit because... Yes, I can. And so can you. When one finds oneself|participating in an endeavor entirely|without merit, one withdraws. No. No. Because sometimes you have to do things|that you don’t like. Sometimes you have to suck it up|and finish what you started. It’s part of life. You sound like my uncle. Look, Leopold, Jansen Foods is a very important|account for my company. If you don’t go back in there then I get into|a lot of trouble. Is this what you do|at work, Kate? Research methods|to deceive people? Refine lies until|they resemble truth? It’s no wonder|you dread your work week. Oh! Man, I don’t have time|for this. What has happened to the world? You have every convenience,|every comfort yet no time for integrity. No. What I don’t have time for|are pious speeches by 200-year-old men who’ve never had to work|a day in their life. You have no idea|what I’ve done with my life. And you-you have no idea|what I’ve done with mine! I haven’t had all that many|comforts and conveniences Leopold, because I’ve been|paying dues all of my life and I’m tired,|and I need a rest and if I have to peddle a little pond scum to get one then so be it. Very well. We’re kidding ourselves,|Leopold. In point of fact I don’t even really know|who you are. You still don’t believe|I’m the man I say I am? We had a great weekend;|that’s that. And now it’s Sunday. It’s over. There’s such a lot of world|to see... I know. I know, I know,|it sounds crazy-- talking about... finding a crack|in time under the East River. But in, in point,|in point fact, Gretchen you know... it is no more crazy than, uh,|a dog finding a rainbow. Dogs are color-blind, Gretchen. They don’t see color. Really? Just like we can’t see time. We can feel it. Oh... we can feel it passing but, uh, we can’t see it;|it’s just a blur. It’s like, uh... it’s like we’re riding|in a, in a supersonic train and the world is|just blowing by. But imagine if we could stop|that train, Gretchen. Hmm? Imagine if we could stop|that train get out, look around and see time|for what it really is. A universe, a world a thing as unimaginable|as color to a dog. And as real and tangible|as that chair you’re sitting in. Now, if we could see it|like that I mean, really look at it then... maybe we could see|the flaws as well as the form. And that’s it. It’s that simple. That’s all I discovered. I’m just a... just a guy who saw a crack|in a chair that no one else could see. I’m that dog who saw a rainbow. Only, uh... none of the other dogs|believe me. I believe you. I can see that some things have|happened since I went away. But... you have to go back. You understand|you’ll be going back to the same day|you left, April 28. Yes. So you understand you might be repeating|a few things. You might even see me. Just don’t follow me|this time. Can I go in? J.J., you asked to see me? Come on in. I understand you, uh,|put out a fire at the shoot yesterday. Guess Mr. Duke’s got a bit|of an ego on him, huh? Yeah. I’m going to England|this week and I made a decision. Mm-hmm. You’re going to be|the top New York honcho. So, this is going|to be your office. I’ll be making it official|tonight. Thank you, J.J. Thank you. You’ve earned it. I’m heading over|to Jansen to sign the buy-out papers,|FTC stuff. So I’ll see you later|at the thing. -What did he say?|-I got it. Oh, my God,|that’s wonderful! Just give me one second, I’m sorry, Darci. One second. Hi. You’ve reached Stuart. Please leave a message. Hello? Leopold, I-I don’t know|where you are but if you’re there,|please pick up. I got it. I got the job. I’m the new|senior vice president at CRG. Uh, please call me. I, um... I’m sorry about the way|things came down yesterday. I apologize. I, uh... I just really|need to see you. I’d love to see you tonight but I have this thing|at Farmer’s Bounty. But I’d love to see you later. I miss you. I miss you. Hey, Stuart. How you feeling? Where’s Leo? He went home. He was for real. He was for real. Holy shit! Look at this! Oh, my God. Chilled, do you understand?|Chilled. And be sure to leave another|case of the Chateau Marid. Yes, sir. Leopold! Leopold! Where have you been?! Otis, I demand explication! It’s half past 5:00! He’s not even dressed! He’ll be ready, my lord,|I assure you. I don’t want him ready. I want him resplendent! Here’s the invitation. You’ve got your table number,|your car number and I’ve got Morty down there--|the guy you like. He’s on the Madison side. Also, your phone sheet|is in here. And Stuart called|you a couple times. So, have a great time tonight. You look beautiful. I don’t think this is right. I’m supposed to be|going to 2640 Madison. That’s where we are,|Miss McKay. Have a nice evening. Hi. Hello. Invitation, please. Yes. They’re still plugs. They’re just randomly seeded|with Minoxidil. No cornrows. Excuse me. Hey, Kate. Congratulations. Thank you. The hell with facelifts. I’m into mini-lifts now. Just a tiny little bit|each year. I hear they’re bringing|back the 840 next year. So I’m just running|out the lease. -Kate, congratulations.|-Thanks, Bob. Hey, Kate. -Congratulations.|-J.J. Hi, Barry. Thank you.|Thank you very much. Anyway, I’m just glad|they’ve got them fixed. I was going to move my office|down to the lobby. Excuse me. Kate, don’t powder|your nose for too long. I’m going to|give this speech in a couple minutes. Okay. All this time I thought|that I had pretzled fate and it had to be untwisted. But what I never considered is that the whole thing|is a pretzel. A beautiful 4D pretzel|of kismetic inevitability. Okay, you know what,|get off Park as soon as you can,|and then go up Madison. I was supposed to go back. He was supposed to come forward then he was supposed|to go back again and... so was she. Now it is my pleasure|and honor... ...to take priests|to the bell tower. You speak of progress|and invention. But what I offer you|downstairs is reality. Take a wife. Marry. Let us not bother|with this banter, Uncle. Tell me whom you want me|to marry. Well, who has the most money. Well... that would be Miss Tree|of the Trees of Schenectady. Good. Consider it done. Otis, fetch the ring. I will announce at midnight. Invitation, please. Uh, hello. My name is Stuart Besser. I’m sorry, I know|we’re not on your list but his sister is Kate McKay;|she works here. I’m sorry, sir,|I can’t just let you in. ...and I learned that there was|one thing that I could do and it didn’t require money and it didn’t require|a fancy school. I learned that I could|please people. And there is nothing wrong|with that! I am a people pleaser, people! Whoo! Thank you so much. I am so... Kate! Stuart! Charlie! What are you doing? Take a look|at these pictures, Kate. No! No-no-no-no! Now it’s time|to introduce the woman who’s going to be holding down|the fort in our New York offices our own little rising star,|Miss Kate McKay! Just listen to me|for a second, okay, please? They’re introducing me|downstairs right now! I’m sorry I was|a lousy boyfriend. I’m sorry I let you down. I know all you wanted|was someone you could trust... Oh, Stuart, really I can’t talk about|our relationship right now. No, Kate, just listen|to me, okay? Please. Maybe we weren’t such|a waste of time after all. I mean, maybe there’s|a reason I was your guy. What are you talking about? Maybe I was supposed to help|you find your guy... Leopold. You got to go back, Kate. You got to go back there. Go back? How? You have to jump|off the Brooklyn Bridge within the next 23 minutes. Kate? Oh... Kate, just look|at the pictures, okay? Is there a... a Kate McKay|in the house? Yeah. Here I am! Kate? Here she is. Here she is. Well, without further ado the new senior vice president|of our New York offices. Here she is, ladies and|gentlemen-- Kate McKay. Whoa, whoa! Whoa. You okay? Yeah. I’m sorry. Thank you. Quite an entrance, huh? Thank you, J.J. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Well, it’s a great night. We here at CRG have always|considered ourselves to be in the "Find what|people want" business and at Jansen, you guys are in the "Make what|people want" business. So, imagine|what we can do together. We’ll be able to find out|exactly what people want and make it... for them. So... yeah, so our customers... will be able to get exactly... Uh... ...what they... ...they want. And, uh... ...it’s a great thing to...|to get what you want. Uh, it’s a really good thing. Unless what you thought|you wanted wasn’t really what you wanted|because what you really... ...wanted you couldn’t imagine, or you|didn’t think it was possible. But... but what if someone|came along who knew exactly what you wanted|without asking? They just knew. Like they could...|hear your heart beating or listen to your thoughts. And what if they were sure|of themselves and they didn’t have|to take a poll and they loved you... and you hesitated? Uh... And... I have to go. I, uh... I’m sorry,|but I have to go. Kate? Stuart, can you tell me in short, complete sentences featuring no words|over two syllables why exactly|I am in these pictures? Probably not. Try. -Because you were there.|-I wasn’t. I would remember. Believe me, I would remember -if I was there.|-Because you’re|going to be there. If we get there in time. These are pictures|of the past, not the future. Not exactly. Theoretically speaking if you go to the past|in the future then your future|lies in the past. And that is a picture of you in the future in the past. We have to make a run|for it. Let’s go. Come on, come on. Let’s go, let’s go. Come on! Whoa, where the hell do|you think you’re going? $6.80 on the meter, pal. It’s going to close, Kate!|Come on! Ladies and gentlemen,|may I have your attention? The Duke of Albany|will be making a very important announcement|in 20 minutes from this very stage. And I believe it shall be|an announcement that will justify|the playing of a bridal waltz. Okay... this is the hard part. -What?|-The girder. The girder? You have to cross|the girder, Kate. That girder? Stuart, I can’t cross|that girder. -I can’t go across...|-You love him, right? What? Leopold. You love him, right? Yeah. That’s all you need to know.|Now go. -You’ll be fine.|-Katie... Charlie... Charlie,|what am I... How are you... No, don’t worry about me. -Now, Kate, now.|-Now? The portal’s going to close. -All right.|-Go. -Jesus.|-Whoo! Oh, God. You can do it. Don’t look down. Charlie... I’ll love you forever. Love you. It’s okay. Lady... lady, what|are you doing? Step back, lady. -It’s okay.|-Step back from there, lady. Come back, lady. Central, be advised This is Breech Post Four. I’ve got a jumper on the southwest location|of the bridge. Have a supervisor,|ESU and Harbor respond to this location forthwith. Ladies and gentlemen it is with a glad heart|and a bright eye that I proudly introduce|my beloved nephew Leopold, Duke of Albany. Thank you. Thank you, Uncle Millard. Thank you. I’m sorry, madam, but|this is a private affair. No, you don’t seem|to understand. I need to get inside. I need to get inside|right now and... What seems to be the problem? Are you Otis? Well, let us proceed. Please raise your glasses... so we may toast|to my bride-to-be the woman whose|welfare and happiness shall be my solemn duty|to maintain. -Oh!|-The future Duchess of Albany... Kate McKay. Of the McKays of...? Massapequa. Massapequa. I love you. I love you. If I caught the world|in a bottle And everything was still|beneath the moon Without your love,|would it shine for me? If I was smart as Aristotle And understood|the rings around the moon What would it all matter|if you loved me? Here in your arms where|the world is impossibly still With a million dreams|to fulfill And a matter of moments|until the dancing ends Here in your arms when|everything seems to be clear Not a solitary thing|would I fear Except when this moment comes|near the dancing’s end If I caught the world|in an hourglass Saddled up the moon|so we could ride Until the stars grew dim Until... One day|you’ll meet a stranger And all the noise|is silenced in the room You’ll feel that you’re close|to some mystery In the moonlight|and everything shatters You feel as if you’ve|known her all your life The world’s oldest lesson|in history Here in your arms where|the world is impossibly still With a million dreams|to fulfill And a matter of moments|until the dancing ends Here in your arms when|everything seems to be clear Not a solitary thing|do I fear Except when this moment|comes near the dancing’s end Oh, if I caught the world|in an hourglass Saddled up the moon|and we would ride Until the stars grew dim Until the time|that time stands still Until... |
K-19 - The Widowmaker CD1 K-19 - The Widowmaker CD2 K-911 K-Pax CD1 K-Pax CD2 Kabhi Kabhie (1976) CD1 Kabhi Kabhie (1976) CD2 Kadosh (1999) Kaena The Prophecy Xena CD1 Kaena The Prophecy Xena CD2 Kafka Kagemusha Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai Kahpe Bizans CD1 Kahpe Bizans CD2 Kairo (2001) Kajmak In Marmelada (2003) Kakashi Kal Ho Naa Ho CD1 Kal Ho Naa Ho CD2 Kalifornia 1993 Kama Sutra A Tale of Love 1996 Kamchatka Kanal Kandahar Kangaroo Jack Kanto Wanderer 1963 Kanzo Sensei CD1 Kanzo Sensei CD2 Kaosu (Chaos) Karakter (1997) CD1 Karakter (1997) CD2 Karan Arjun Karate Kid 2 CD1 Karate Kid 2 CD2 Karate Kid 3 Karate Kid The Karo (pulse) Kasaba Kasoor Kate And Leopold Kate and Leopold (2001) Katzelmacher Kavkazskaya plennitsa - Kidnapping Caucasian Style (Leonid Gaidai 1966) Kaze No Katami - The Wind Carpet (Kamal Tabrizi 2003) Kdo chce zabit Jessii Kebabtomte Keeping The Faith Keeping Up Appearances 01 - My Name Is Bouqet Keeping Up Appearances 02 - Welcoming The Dishy Vicar Keeping Up Appearances 03 - Visiting Acquaintanance Stately Keeping Up Appearances 05 - Daisy And Her Toy Boy Keeping Up Appearances 06 - How To Manage Christening Keeping Up Appearances 11 - Googley-Eyed Registrar Keeping Up Appearances 12 - Coctails With Greek Millionaire Keeping Up Appearances 13 - Unfortunate Prospect Keeping Up Appearances 14 - Playthings For Daddy Keeping Up Appearances 15 - Three Piece Suite Keeping Up Appearances 16 - Picnic For Daddy Keeping Up Appearances 17 - Very Merry Hyacinth Keeping Up Appearances 18 - Sea Fever Keeping Up Appearances 19 - Angel Gabriel Blue Keeping Up Appearances 20 - Historical Pageant Kees de jongen CD1 Kees de jongen CD2 Keetie Tippel Kekec (Joze Gale 1951) CD1 Kekec (Joze Gale 1951) CD2 Kellys Heroes (1970) Ken Park (2002) Kenny Rogers - Live by Request Kes Kes (Ken Loach 1969) Key Largo Khakee CD1 Khakee CD2 Khakee CD3 Khartoum Kid Stays in The Picture The Kid The CD1 Kid The CD2 Kids Return 1996 Kids Return CD1 Kids Return CD2 Kiki delivery service Kill Bill CD1 Kill Bill CD2 Kilometer Zero (2000) King Boxer King David King In New York A 1957 King Is Alive The King Kong vs Godzilla 2 (1962) King The (2003) CD1 King The (2003) CD2 King of Comedy The (1983) King of marvin gardens The Kingpin Kings Go Forth (Delmer Daves 1958) Kinjite Forbidden Subjects (J Lee Thompson 1989) Kiss Me Kate 1953 Kiss Me Stupid - Billy Wilder 1964 Kiss Of Death Kiss of the Dragon Kiss the Girls Kitchen Stories Kites Over Helsinki Kitne Door Kitne Paas (1999) Kjrlighetens Kjtere Kletka Klumps The Klute 1971 Knafaim Shvurot Knife In The Water 1962 Knight Rider 1x03 Knight Rider 1x04 Knight Rider 1x05 Knight Rider 1x06 Knight Rider 1x07 Knight Rider 1x08 Knight Rider 1x09 Knight Rider 1x10 Knight Rider 1x11 Knight Rider 1x12 Knights Of The Round Table Knights Tale A Knockabout Knockin On Heavens Door Koi mil Gaya (2003 Hindi) Kolya Koma Kongekabale Kopps Kral Sokolu Kronos Krull 1983 CD1 Krull 1983 CD2 Kràmpack Kuch Naa Kaho 2003 Kukushka 2002 Kumokiri Nizaemon (1978) CD1 Kumokiri Nizaemon (1978) CD2 Kundun Kung Fu Hustle 2004 Kushi 2003 Kuutamolla Kwaidan Kytice Kyun Ho Gaya na |