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[Theme music] NARRATOR: Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man... who does not exist. Michael Knight, a young loner... on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent... the helpless, the powerless... in a world of criminals who operate above the law. [Suspenseful instrumental music] Come on! Hurry it up! I want to get this outta here before dawn. And look. It's almost 5:00. [Car approaching] [Tyres screeching] All right. Hold it. $4 million worth of prime coke, shot to hell... and we haven't even cut it yet! Just think of it as a tax loss. You can depreciate it over the next five years while you're in the slammer. Anyway, it's kind of hot in here, don't you think? Let's move outside in the cool air. I see him. Thank you. MICHAEL: Hello, Devon. Michael. What a delightful surprise. - The office told me I'd find you here. - How very thoughtful of them. Well, now that you're here, perhaps you'd like to order something. Yeah. Let me have a double cheeseburger with some onions... French fries and a Coke. If you can't handle that, there's a takeout joint across the street. - What's that? - Escargot. An exotically-flavoured dish rendered comatose by the very thought of your order. I'm not a fussy eater, I guess. But snails? Yes, I admit that it is an acquired taste, Michael. But then, so many things are. What is it you wanted to see me so urgently about? Well, Devon, I'm really beat, you know? I don't doubt it. Especially having just read... the details of your latest assignment. KITT and I made that as simple as possible. MICHAEL: Nobody got hurt. Those drug pushers'll be off the street for a long time. Anyway, I think I need some time off. A vacation? What an absolutely splendid idea. Have you got any idea of a destination? I was thinking about doing some rock climbing. Rock climbing. The Rockies... No. I hear that the Himalayas present the greatest challenge. - Shall I call my travel agent for you? - I wasn't thinking that big. DEVON: Oh, I see. MICHAEL: I won't be gone all that long. MICHAEL: Great. My dear fellow, please don't push yourself on my account. I'd hate you to burn out too quickly. Yeah, I'll bet. [Theme music] KITT: Oshkosh. Oklahoma. KITT: Wrong. We're only using place names with a double vowel and a double consonant. Oklahoma has two sets of double vowels, but no double consonant. If you had said... MICHAEL: KITT? KITT: Yes? MICHAEL: Shut up. KITT: It was your idea to play. A somewhat frivolous pastime anyway when you could be briefing me on our mission. We're not on a mission. We're on vacation. KITT: What's a vacation? MICHAEL: It's kind of like an interlude... you know, to relax, clear your head. KITT: I see. But to what purpose? MICHEAL: Like I said, to relax. KITT: What does relax mean? It's like when I put you in neutral. KITT: How very unproductive. Not for people. Now me: I'm going rock climbing. KITT: Why? What happens when you get to the top of whatever it is you're climbing? MICHEAL: Nothing. KITT: Then why climb it? Because it's there. KITT: I see. I suppose that makes about as much sense as word games. MICHAEL: I'm glad you can understand it. KITT: Not really. Word games don't attempt to defy the laws of gravity like rock climbing... an activity which could easily get you killed or seriously injured. I didn't know you cared. KITT: Of course I care. After all, that's the way I was programmed, isn't it? [Theme music] [Slow instrumental music] SHERRY: Good morning. [Rock music playing] SHERRY: The night crawlers are in the refrigerator. They're right next to the fudgesicles. SHERRY: Your meal worms are on the counter. Clayton, you can pay me later. Who's Clayton? - And what's a night crawler? - A worm. SHERRY: I don't mean Clayton. Clayton is a very sweet old man who comes in here every morning... to get his bait from me about this time. - A night crawler is a worm. - I see. I guess you're not a fisherman, are you? No. I always thought it was kind of boring. Came to climb, but I've been known to get hooked on new things. Is there something I can do for you? Yeah. The sign in the window said, "Homemade Hamburgers." I sure could go for one with everything on it... Everything but the night crawlers. No night crawlers. You got it. Sis! You've got to come out front and see this car! It's... - Mine. You like it? - Like it? Are you kidding? If you hang in till I eat, I'll take you for a ride. Really? - How would you like this cooked? - Medium. - Anything else with that? - How about some French fries? Well-done. And anything else? - Meaningful conversation? - Rare. Your sister have a steady boyfriend? In this town? DAVEY: She's beautiful. MICHAEL: Yeah, I noticed. - Great body. - Yeah, I noticed that, too. Ready to go? DAVEY: Sure. MICHAEL: Let's do it. Could you stop up here? If it's okay with you. MICHAEL: Sure. How about if I drop you off? I'm anxious to get settled and check out White Rock Mountain. Okay, I got to see Donny Spencer's face when I get out of this car. He thinks he's so hot 'cause his brother's got that dumb van. - Catch you later. - You got it. [Slow instrumental music] [Tense instrumental music] [Tyres screeching] [Theme music] MICHAEL: Come on! That's enough! Knock it off! He said your car was dumb. That's all right. It's no big deal. The only thing worse than leaning on my van: : : is touching my little brother. Trying to make sure nobody gets hurt. - Is this yours? - Yeah. What about it? I don't know, I love it. MICHAEL: It's so original. LONNY: Yeah? - Well, yours is dumb. - Dumb? Your family seems to have a somewhat limited vocabulary. You talk about my family, you gotta deal with the top dog. That's me! - So you're the pick of the litter. - You're really looking for it. - Howdy, Lonny. - Sheriff. - Any problem here? - Nothing I can't handle, Sheriff. And with pleasure. Yeah, I suppose so, Lonny. You just passing through town, mister? I came here to do a little rock climbing. One of those macho types? If you enjoy rock climbing... White Rock is as good as they come, or so they say. Don't let us hold you up. You asking me to get out of town? I'm telling you that it takes two to make an argument. If there's only one of you in town... Suppose I decide to stay? I'm a peace officer, son. With the emphasis on the word "peace." Now, like I said before, it takes two to make an argument. - But if one of you is in jail... - Any bets on who it'll be? - Guess I better go rock climbing. - That's what I call good thinking. Wait a minute. I'm gonna have to see your driver's license first. - What for? - I've got to finish up this citation. You made an illegal U-turn back there. Boy, you sure did let the sheriff push you around. What should I have done? Shot it out with him like in the movies? Well, no. But still... - How old are you, Davey? - Ten. Well, if you want to make 11, 12, and 13 like that... you better learn there's times to fight and times not to fight. Like when you can only win? No, that's the way bullies like Big Lonny think. I mean only when you don't have any other choice. [Upbeat Rock music] [Motorbikes approaching] You guys going to some kind of costume party? That's a nice van you got there, pally. Painted it myself. Got one of those do-it-yourself kits. - That must've been fun. - Yeah, kind of. Nothing to do around here. You must get awful bored. I still got to do a little stripping along. Say, fellas, what do you say we give old smart-mouth here a fresh start? SCORPION 1: Yeah! SCORPION 2: All right! So he can kind of keep what's left of his mind occupied like. MONK: You dig? SCORPION 4: Right on. [Sombre instrumental music] [Slow instrumental music] I guess I'm ready, KITT. See you later. KITT: I believe there is a considerable risk factor involved in this operation. Vacation. Not operation. KITT: Yes, well... don't you think you should preprogramme me in the event you don't return? Thanks for the vote of confidence. KITT: Michael, what shall I do while you're gone? You're on vacation too, KITT. Get some sun. [Fast-paced instrumental music] Get us some beers! I bet the store is closed, too. I've got some news for you, man. It ain't gonna be for long. SCORPION 1: Let's do it now! SCORPION 1: Good morning! HILLY: Hello! You don't wanna close up with all these customers. Look at this. Aren't you a pretty little girl. Yes, indeed. Make yourself at home. [Suspenseful instrumental music] I knew this town wasn't as boring as it looks. - What's your name, sweet thing? - Davey Benson, and we're closed. Let me explain something to you, little man. You see, what we got right here is a special occasion. And we're big customers. You dig? And we're hungry. Real hungry. [Slow instrumental music] KITT: Dog, go away. I said go away, dog! Very well, then. You leave me no choice. [KITT roars] [Dog barks in fright] KITT: And that's known as man's best friend. [Tense instrumental music] You smell real good. Knock it off, jerk. Come on, man. We don't need that kind of trouble. Well, I think I'll just... I'll eat something first. - Okay. - Yeah. Hey, it's the man. Everybody, just stay cool. We're just customers, that's all. Right? I guess dessert's gonna have to wait. Welcome to town, fellas. I see you found the best hamburgers around. [Slow instrumental music] [Tense instrumental music] MONK: Anyway, it's nice to see you again, Sheriff. MONK: We better be splitting on down the road. Priest, pay the little lady so we can get out of here. Wait a minute. Why don't we put it on our American Express card? Do you recognise me? I think $20 ought to cover it. - It's not just the money. - Davey, the man's being quite fair. Let's say we throw in a six-pack on the house. SHERRY: Hold it! I can't afford... MONK: You know something, Sheriff? That's real understanding of you. MONK: Me and the boys appreciate that. SHERIFF: My pleasure. - Say thank you, boys. - Thank you, Sheriff. I'll see you again. SCORPION 1: We'll have to come back here more often. Gas, man! Why the hell do you think Sneaker picked this town? - We can only fight one war at a time, right? - Smart thinking! Maybe next time we come back, he'll deputise us all. How am I gonna carry this on a bike? Here, carry that for me, man. Why didn't you arrest them? How could you just let them get away with that? Arrest them for what? They didn't do anything, did they? - Well, not really, but they... - Count your lucky stars we got off that easy. - What? - Will you listen to me? You don't mess with those kind of people. They're living out some kind of a fantasy, and they're just looking for trouble. They're gonna be gone soon, and everything will be back to normal. With no trouble. All we have to do is keep our wits about us. You just would let them get away with anything they please? In other words, it takes two to make an argument. A confrontation could cost more than a little petty pilfering or bad manners. SHERIFF: A lot more! SHRRY: You could call in the State Police. And do what? Arrest them for not shaving? [Sherry grunts in exasperation] [Slow instrumental music] You made it. - What are you doing up here? - Looking for you. There's trouble in town, and I didn't know who to come to. - What about the sheriff? - Him? You got to be kidding. There's this big, mean bunch of bikers down in town. DAVEY: They may do something to Sherry if someone doesn't prevent it. All right. You go down. I'll pick you up by the road to town. - Where are you going? - To pick up my car. - What's so important about your car? - You'd be surprised. You really would. Go on, get outta here! I'll meet you down there. [Suspenseful instrumental music] [Theme music] [Slow instrumental music] - Are you all right? - Michael! Did Davey go and get you? Yeah. It's okay. It's no big deal. I got to make the climb okay. At least somebody had a nice day. Davey told me about what happened. Everything. MICHAEL: Are you all right, really? I'm a lot better now. Come here. I think it might be a good idea if I stay here tonight. DAVEY: They're back. MICHAEL: How many? Just one, but it's the real mean one. Wait. You're not gonna need that. - Nice car. Yours? - Yeah. Say, you wouldn't mind if I drove it around the block a little, would you? Well, personally, I wouldn't think cars are your kind of scene. Don't worry about that. I can change. HILLY: It's locked. MICHAEL: No, man. [Car beeps] MICHAEL: Just sticks sometimes. [Car door shuts] You're a wise guy, huh? [Hilly grunting] I don't know how you did that. - Nobody makes a fool out of me. - Is that a fact? Yeah. You and your buddies must've watched too many bad movies on TV... - when you were kids. - Why is that? 'Cause your act's not only lousy, man. It's 10 years out-of-date. MICHAEL: You can't be for real. HILLY: I'm for real. I'm a Scorpion... Hilly. Davey, run. Go get the sheriff, quick. This is Stinger. You're about to be the "stingee." Before or after the commercial? [Tense instrumental music] [Both grunting] I think playtime's over, pal. SHERRY: Michael. Get in the car. [Suspenseful instrumental music] There was a little accident. I was just on my way to get help. MONK: What happened? What is going on? Tough guy, huh? [Scorpions clamouring angrily] SHERRY: What kind of a car is this? MICHAEL: Tell her, KITT. KITT: Sorry. Allow me to introduce myself. I am KITT, whom you may regard as the voice of the Knight 2000. An experimental prototype vehicle, which among other... Impervious to virtually all forms of violence. Specifically, the chemical formula for the alloy is simply... [Police car siren wailing] Hello, Sheriff. Am I glad to see you. Maybe that was the only way outta there, but aren't you taking this too far? You're under arrest, Mr. Knight, so just relax. - You've got to be kidding. - Not at all. I told you before, it takes two to make an argument. I got a lot of problems right now. That idiot Lonny... had to smart-mouth off to those bikers, and they trashed his van. What I don't need is some hero coming in here... trying to grandstand for some damsel in distress. You're really serious, aren't you? You're gonna lock me up and let those bikers do what they please. - Up to a point, you're right. - At what point will you do something? - That's my problem and my responsibility... - Wait a minute. I get one phone call. - What's the number? - 223... SHERIFF: Just a minute. ...553-0433. The circuits are busy. I'll let you call again later. MICHAEL: How much later? SHERIFF: A lot later... Yeah, that figures! By the way, where's my car? SHERIFF: lmpounded. Those darn bikers. Somebody ought to find out what they're doing around town. Listen, I don't want you to go anywhere near those bikers. They're a real mean bunch, okay? Yeah, but with Michael in jail, somebody's got to do something. I don't care about somebody. All I care about is you. SHERRY: I don't want to hear you've been near them. You get the message? [Soft instrumental music] I mean it, you know. [Rock music playing] I want everybody to ride in ace shape, okay, man? - You got it. - What? What'd you say? You listen up, man! I don't want any more trouble out of you! - What about the chick? - Afterwards. HILLY: What are you laughing at, you freak? MONK: Listen up, everybody. Them Dogs are gonna be riding in here tomorrow. Now, we can only fight one war at a time. So I want everybody ready. - You dig? - You dig? [Suspenseful instrumental music] Sheriff. - What? - I've been thinking. If you deputise me, at least I'll be available if you need help. Son, you just get yourself some rest, and if I need you... I'll know exactly where to find you. SHERIFF: I'm going out on night patrol. MICHAEL: Do me a favour? - What? - Check on Davey and Sherry. KITT? Where are you? KITT: lmpounded, Michael, just like you. MICHAEL: Can you get out? KITT: Of course. Do you want me to come get you out? MICHAEL: No. I can handle that myself. KITT: Are you quite sure? Yeah, I'm sure. Any more questions? KITT: Just one. Are we still on vacation? [Slow instrumental music] [Car beeping] [Car engine running] Did it move for you, too? [Suspenseful instrumental music] [Rhythmic instrumental music] [Slow instrumental music] [Theme music] KITT: Are we, as they say, "getting out of town"? No, we're gonna find the Scorpions and see what they're up to. [Scorpions laughing] [Rock music playing] MICHAEL: KITT, wait here. KITT: Are you sure? I don't think you could pass as a motorcycle. KITT: It would be a problem. MICHAEL: Listen, if I don't make it back... go find Davey and Sherry and take them out of White Rock. KITT: You're the driver. But I think it would be preferable if you did come back. Thanks. HILLY: Knock, knock. SCORPION 1: Who's there? HILLY: Salmon chanted. SCORPION 1: Who? HILLY: Salmon chanted. HILLY: Salmon chanted evening. [Scorpions laughing] You got some fire, my man? MONK: Come on, man. I ain't got all night. All right. Thanks, brother. The Road Dogs are gonna fall, man! I, myself, personally am gonna take off half their heads! What about you turkeys? Can you handle the other half? They'll never know what hit them. Biggest biker war on the West Coast. We're gonna put this place on the map. You know that chick at the store? I still want a part of her. Later, okay? I promise. All right? Let's party. Give me a beer. KITT? MICHAEL: Looks like we got a real problem. KITT: Would you care to share it with me? Those bikers are planning a full-scale gang war tomorrow. KITT: If that's a problem, it would appear to be a self-solving one. MICHAEL: Like how? KITT: Like why do we care who wins? 'Cause they're planning on using the town as the battlefield. That's why. KITT: Yes, I see. It could make a difference at that. I suppose we'll just have to do something about it. MICHAEL: Got any ideas? KITT: I thought I'd let you try first. It always makes you feel better on those rare occasions when you outthink me. That's funny. That's very funny. [Scorpions laughing] [Suspenseful instrumental music] Heyya! Her little, bitty, baby kid brother! Well, isn't he cute? [Slow instrumental music] Why don't you let me go in alone and explain to the sheriff what happened? MICHAEL: It's more believable if it comes from me. Suppose he tries to put you right back in jail? He won't. Not after what I tell him. [Sherry sighs] That's for good luck. Come on. SHERIFF: Never mind, Bernie. The problem just took care of itself. I'll see if I can arrange some kind of a reward for you, Sherry... for apprehending the prisoner. Come on, Sheriff. He is not a criminal. A few hours ago, I might've believed you. Since then, he's stolen his vehicle from the impound lot and broken out of jail. I didn't steal my car. You want me to believe that it drove here and picked you up? You don't know it, but you got a serious problem on your hands. The only problem I've got is you. Anything else you might say, save it for the judge. Now listen to me. The Scorpions are planning a gang war at White Rock. Some other guys, the Road Dogs, are on their way here. If you don't believe me, check with the Highway Patrol. A gang war? In White Rock? It's true. And we've got to do something about it! I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna put this lunatic in a cell where he belongs. Why would I break out of jail, come back here and lie to you? I don't know you, mister, and White Rock doesn't know you either. There's not gonna be a White Rock in 24 hours if you don't listen to me. Look, he's telling you the truth. - You got a fast choice to make. - What's that? Either you go along with me and help me save the town... Or? Or I'm gonna try and save the town without you. [Suspenseful instrumental music] I knew that guy was gonna be trouble. You guys, wake up. Wake up. Monk, wake up. Wake up, Monk. You sure you want to stay in the car? Well, Sally Field stayed in the car in Smokey and the Bandit. I think I'm safer with you, anyway. - You sure about that? - No. Morning, boys. Rise and shine. The lady here wants to see what the animals are like when the zoo is still closed. So you want to see what the animals look like? If you want the kid, man, get out of the car and we'll talk. Michael, they've got Davey! Come on, punk. I'm waiting for you, man! God, Michael. What are we gonna do? MONK: Come on, man! I'm waiting! Get out! Just watch. Okay, KITT, buddy, let's shake them up. [Fast-paced instrumental music] Go! - How'd they get you, Davey? - It was kind of dumb. I was sneaking around the camp to see what they would do, and I got caught. - Are you all right? - I'm fine. This is some kind of car. It didn't look like this before. We're playing for keeps now, Davey. What are we gonna do? We're gonna play a little chicken with the Scorpions. [Fast-paced instrumental music continues] We got him now, man. He's on our kind of ground, baby. Hyperspace! [Scorpions groan] [Fast-paced instrumental music continues] [Laughs nervously] You're not gonna stop? Not at the moment. [Fast-paced instrumental music continues] You did it! We did it! We got them on the run! Not yet. I'd rather have them chasing me. [Fast-paced instrumental music continues] Aren't you going just a little fast? Sally Field trusted Burt Reynolds. Right. I sure hope the sheriff came through. - Don't worry. All you got to do is... - I know. Just hold on. [Suspenseful instrumental music] [Scorpions groaning] We did it! We finally showed those punks! I think they did it to themselves, Davey, with maybe a little help from us. Son, I owe you an apology. I guess I'm not only a peace officer. I'm also a law enforcement officer. The accent on "enforcement." No harm done, Sheriff. At least not to anybody who didn't have it coming. I'd appreciate it if you'll help me tidy up? You got it. Happy to oblige. Thanks a lot. [Rhythmic instrumental music] I think you might've made a wrong turn back there! You can see what happened to the last gang that came through here. [Triumphant instrumental music] [Classical music playing] - Devon. - Michael! DEVON: Back so soon? Well, sit down and regale me with the lurid details of your vacation. It wasn't much of a vacation after all. Yes, I know. We received the State Police report only this morning. DEVON: Don't seem to be able to low-profile it anywhere, do you? I'm just lucky, I guess. DEVON: Some may say that "disaster prone" would be a better way of putting it. DEVON: Do have a little wine. MICHAEL: Thanks. Anyway, I think it should count as a Foundation mission... even though it was sort of coincidental. Very well. I'll put yet another gold star on your report card... and I'll okay your expenses, within reason, of course. I'd rather have some time off, if you don't mind. Another vacation? What a splendid idea! Yes, you do need to revitalise the tissues, you know. Go ahead. And as I said before, don't hurry back. Thanks. I'll see you. That's funny. He didn't even argue with me this time. What did he say? - He said to take all the time I wanted. - What a nice man. KITT: Am I safe in assuming that nobody wants to play Geography? Yes. You're right. Just keep driving. KITT: But for how long? Till one of us runs out of gas. [Theme music] |
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