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Can you spare a penny please? I can spare you a slap on the face. This is the first day I'm in business. You don't have to be so mean. Young Master... Can you change this for me please? So little, what can I change it for? It's not that bad. Just name a price. Don't let it be blown away. Hold that. Thanks. Damn! Who are you? How do you know my name? Are you Dam? I just came back from Vietnam,|Dam, your uncle... Damn my uncle? No, your uncle who's name is Dam. I see. What about him? What are you really up to? Your uncle has a letter|and a package for you. Young Master, I can't read. What does the letter say? To Mr. Dam. My nephew. Mr. Ma will give you|what I've sold the house for. Which is 20 taels of gold. Can you change this for me? - Take it.|- Thanks. His gold weighted 28 taels. This bonehead thought it weights|only 20 taels. We are rich now. Sir, have you weighed the gold? Yes, but it is underweight. I'll change it for you though. Six dollars for a tael of gold. 120 for 20 taels. A receipt will make|this transaction proper. I didn't know money would come by itself. Aren't you going to count the money? I trust you. Let's go and have some tea. I can't leave the shop. I'll be at the Teahouse, come if you can. You'd definitely find me. You really a fool. Wei, why aren't you keeping the shop? Why should I? I can buy a woman now. Really? This fool came to the shop this morning. He gave me eight taels of gold. Did he really? His gold weighted 28 taels. But I only paid him for 20. Where is that piece of gold? Father. It turns out that you've been the fool. This is not gold. So that man is a cheat. He said he would be at the Teahouse. Let's go there. There's no such thing as easy money. He's the one. You are so late. Come...waiter! Go hell you! Have a cup of tea first. You never know|who will be in jail at last. You dared to use counterfeit gold. And you dare to yell at me. Beat him up. What's the matter? Captain, you've come at the right time. This kid came to my shop. - He changed taels of counterfeit gold.|- That's right. I gave him a piece of genuine gold. Anyone can tell this is not gold. But this piece is not the one I gave you. Shut up. You said this gold didn't belong to you. Can you prove it? Mine is a smaller piece. How much does yours weight? My uncle sent it to me from Vietnam It weights 20 taels. Young Master gave me this receipt. Fellows, bring me our official scale. Give it to me. - How heavy did you say?|- 20 taels. It's more than that. It weights 28 taels. How could it be mine then? Mine couldn't possibly weight 28 taels. It doesn't weigh so much. Otherwise I should have been|given more money. Captain. And he only gave me 20 taels' worth. This is counterfeit money too. You two are really ruthless. Uncle, all that money|you've saved so hard. They've swindled it out of me. Shut up. It's made of rice. Shut up. What the hell are you two doing? Don't shoot. - They haven't done it on purpose.|- We will pay. - Father...|- Of course we will. With me here, nobody would dare to bully you. Don't you ever let me|catch you cheating again. I didn't know it would be so easy. Our two brains together means|two bags of money. Let's split the money then. That your hat off. What's that noise? That's the weather report. What the hell is that? It says we'd better hurry. One for me, one for you... It's yours. Now, would you say that is fair? Yes, I've always trusted your work. You take my bag and I take yours. They are both the same. Like hell they are, yours is much bigger. Don't you know I have hernia? That's why mine are always bigger. If it's inherited,|mine should bigger than yours. Knock it off. Here. Where is it... Why is it gone? I guess I was wrong. Your acting deserves the bigger share. No, you deserve it, it was your idea. No, you shouldn't, I should. This is all we've got left. We'd better not fight anymore. Well, it's been a lucky day. Why don't we go gambling? Place your bets. You are the banker. You'd better not fool around here. This is a casino. Do I look like fooling around? Can't you tell I'm rich? Place your bets now. We are going to win. Place your bets now. Place your bets now. Pay. Hold it, I want to count the money. Go ahead and have fun. - Winning is so easy.|- Yeah. - You don't scare us.|- Exactly. - Don't bother, kid.|- Isn't it? I guess you want to be beaten up. Bit. Go to hell. - What are you doing?|- Over here. Knock it off before I get mad. I'm going to use Tsai Boxing. I don't think you'll be able to. Pierce, throw, press, cut, and plunge. I'd better use "pierce, throw,|press, cut, and plunge". Pierce, throw, press, cut, and plunge. - You know Tsai Boxing too.|- Of course. I won't hit you then. But you said you wouldn't hit me. Hitting is not the same as kicking. How useful. Splendid. Stop. Stop fighting... How dare you to make fun of this place? Let me punish you. It's all my fault. I told him not to, but he didn't listen. I'm angry too. I told you it was not right. Stop grumbling. It's my fault... Our apologies, we were wrong. I'll kill you both next time. Let them out. Please escort us out. Thanks. Next time you won't be able to walk. You almost got us both killed. I didn't know it'd be like this. Well, we can still use this. Don't you covet|this family treasure of mine. But we are starving. You'd better think of other solutions. Fresh fish for sale. - Fresh fish for sale...|- Let's see what you can do. Go. Don't buy any|if you don't think they're fresh. Can I choose whatever I want? Of course they are. You say it. Don't buy any if they are not. It's fishy and smelly. I won't buy. Fried fish, fish cowry, fish rolls. And a fish soup. Would you like anything besides fish? No, I've a lot of fish here. Give me a basket. Here comes the basket. Hurry! How are we going to pay for the rice? And the tea as well. I have an idea. I only need one thing. What's that? An idiot. Where can we find one? Right behind us. Well? That's a family treasure. Hurry. Be careful. - Roast Pork bun...|- Stir-fried beef with vegetables. Stir-fried beef with vegetables. I'm sorry! He's the one. He said you stole his bag. Don't you dare to be rude with me. Only I can afford to be rude. Speak. You don't look like a thief though. Are you sure that is your bag? Are you positive? Of course I am, this is mine. Can you prove it? There's a ring wrapped in red. With my father's name on it. Open the bag for me. I couldn't find any ring. - Are you sure?|- I am positive. No one dares to steal in my territory. You'd better not have any funny ideas. Yes, Sir... Have you put the ring into the bag? - I swear it was inside the bag.|- But I couldn't find it. I don't understand. What a waste of time. That's some courage you have. Trying to swindle us? Give us back the ring. The ring? There are quite|a few in this place. We'll have to beat you up. Let's get him. Are you all right? Yes. Get him. Are you all right? Get him. Give me time to pant. Now, who's the tough one here? And who's being beaten up? Is your arm all right? Don't touch me. I'll touch him then. Take your broken ring back. It wasn't broken. It wasn't? It is now. It's broken. Oh my God, it's broken. Don't go after him. He's too good a fighter. What are we going to live on then? Don't panic. I'll set up a trap. And lure him into it. He'll support us and we'll learn his art. Then we'll get rid of him. If we could fight as well as he does. We'd never starve. Master, the two of us have been|street-fighters all our lives. We have never been beaten. Except that time by you. We'll give you a chance|to be our teacher. That's lucky of you. Why? We are handsome and we believe ourselves. We are the cream of the crop. And we are strong and know no vice. Why don't you be janitors then. We want to be your servants. In case something happens to you. - Something happens.|- We can take care of you. But if something happens to you two. I wouldn't know who to save first. Just look at your stupid selves. We've been studying Kung Fu|since we're born. Pierce, throw, press, cut,|plunge of Tsai Boxing. Pierce, throw, press, cut,|plunge of Tsai Boxing. Lift, drift, push, thrust,|stretch of Hung Boxing. Grab, tackle, slap, elbow,|drop of Yung Boxing. Grab, tackle, slap, elbow, drop. And hypnotized fighting: point,|squeeze, jump, shake, dash. Point, squeeze, jump, shake, dash. What do you need a teacher for then? I've never studies Kung Fu though. - Never?|- Never. Then you won't make it. But I've seen Yipao practicing. If you teach me all you know. Your art won't be lost if you drop dead. Why didn't you help out? You kept displeasing him. You have to flatter him. But I don't know how to flatter. I never did. Chase. - Boatman, please sail the boat here.|- Coming. Hurry up... The water is too shallow,|you'd better wade across the water. Master, on single slip|may cause lasting sorrow. I could handle this. You've said that your waist is strong. We couldn't let Master wade across.|Let's lean. - Your waist is stronger anyway.|- Yours is stronger. - Yours is better.|-Yours is stronger. You are losing, stop playing with me. Be careful, brother. It's firm, come on. Hurry up... I've tried, it's firm. Please. Please. I don't know you are so polite. Hurry. I've said that you have strong waist. Hurry to the boat, I'm nearly exhausted. Your're alright, don't be so humble. Hurry on. Show that old man|how strong your waist is. Then he would take you as his pupil, I can't... Really? Then I go into the boat. Thanks. How many of you, sirs? Can't you tell? Three of you. One sits and two stand. Please come in and have a seat. What would you like to order? - A steamed...|- Chicken. - Cabbage.|- With beef. - Seafood.|- Deluxe... One bowl of rice. - lt'd better be.|- Right away. Yes. Please. Bring me two more bowls of rice. Sit down. Your rice. What are you waiting for? Smart of you. It's delicious. - Why all this politeness?|- It should be that way. Are you two full? Yes. What about you? I'm fine. The check please. 3 bits of silver please. 3 bits of silver. I'll hold it for you. Good... He exercises legs,|how come I'm doing this? You think it's no use practicing this? I didn't say this. Please hold it for me. - You try to attack me.|- OK. What? - What I teach you is florid-fist.|- Florid-fist? - And what you do is embroidered-leg.|- Embroidered-leg? Take your time and practice. Let me steal the stroke of yours. Master... Your martial arts|are almost up to standard. Ordinary persons are no match for you. Of course... - I go to have a cup of tea.|- Don't mention it... What's matter? - Are you hear me?|- I've got it. Master let us practice attentively. No, Master said ordinary people|is no match for us. You want to... - Don't you want?|- I do. But where to find ordinary people? Listen to me, and follow me. Fresh vegetables. Cheap and nice. Buy a jin? Who's an ordinary person here? How do I know? - Excuse me|- Hurry set him up. Excuse me. Try the vegetables. It's real fresh. But I gave you some money the other day. Our boss lost in gambling. You're out of luck then. You are trying to bully me. So what? Go hell. - Are you paying?|- No. Seal up. Who sent you? - Thanks.|- Don't mention it... Who are you? We are ordinary people. What's up? - Did you hear that?|- Ordinary persons? We've found them. Let's get it over with. I didn't know he's that good. He's really good. Shut up. It's itchy. - Where did you learn that from?|- I learned it by myself. Who's meaner, you or us? You... That stupid... - Who's going to pay for this?|- I will. OK? - That should cover your loss.|- Thank you. Teacher was right. Ordinary persons are no match for us. You two are such good fighters. Thank you. - I think....|- Don't bother. We are fine. - Where are we going now?|- Follow me. Place your bets. The more your bets, the more you win. Place your bets... It's going to be four. Place your bets now. Four again. Place your bets. - Spot on, right?|- Right! Place your bets... The more your bets, the more you win. - What are you doing?|- I want to play two games. Shit, why is you again? Weather report. I'm betting on four again. Place your bets... One for you? Four for me. Here we go. I'm sorry, something is in my throat. One. It ominous. Place your bets. The more your bets, the more you win. Open it. You are going to die this time. It's yours. I don't have buttons like that. And this hand... Are you trying to cheat? Relax, I'll solve your problem. Gentlemen,|it's our celebration day today. We're closing now, please go home. What's the matter? I say odd number, how about you? Then I say even. It' s you two again. Let's punish them. Four. One, two, three, four. Four again. It's going to be an even number. I told you. Get lost. - Wait a minute.|- What's the matter? Relax. Be careful. Why didn't you been down further. I'll do that next time. Hurry, don't keep looking around. Where's my money? A beggar. This is yours... Are you trying to rob a beggar? I'll tell you later. You can go back now. Why do you keep teasing us? - What should we do?|- Hit him! Give me the gold pot. No thanks, copper pot is enough. - Move!|- Please! See if you dare to do. Come over and help me. - Why did you hit him?|- You beat. Didn't I tell you not to hit him? He hit you again? I'll help you up. Thanks. Yipao, why do you keep hitting me? Taipao, don't let the chance slip away. Come on, will you hurry please? Yes, seize the chance. - Why do you keep hitting me?|- Right, why does he keep hitting you? - Beat him up.|- Please. Are you crazy, Taipao? I don't need gold pot. Save it yourself. It's your fault. Who are you looking for? Where is Chia? Are you looking for our teacher? We don't know where he is. I didn't know he had two students. Let me see if you're any good. You two are pretty good. Thank you. - Painter...|- What's the matter, Matchmaker? That smartass has thought very carefully. He taught them these stroke against you. Why don't we break them up? Hey, this one looks like your aunt. What about my aunt? Your aunt is my aunt too. You must be tired of living. You two are no match for us. Tell your teacher to find us at the inn. Leave your names. We are not ordinary persons. Let's go, Painter. They're not ordinary persons, no wonder they beat us. Teacher... Two extraordinary persons just came. They said they were staying at... - What?|- The inn. They'll wait for you there. So they've found me. I've been waiting for them. Who are they? They are my sworn enemies. How are you going to handle them? We'll have a duel at the forest tomorrow. Until then you hang up with Painter I will go against Matchmaker. Don't let them|have chance to get together. Or else they aren't|ordinary people any longer. We must separate them Then you could beat them. It's their show time. - How could you be so careless?|- I was too excited. It's fun. Kick! I told you not to be careless. - He's not as smart as you.|- Thank you. - Thank you.|- Don't mention it. You've done well today. - You've worked hard.|- We're supposed to. - I have something else to do.|- Of course. Change and meet me at the teahouse. - I'll buy you a nice meal.|- You deserve it. - Get going now.|- Of course... Let's go. Meat loaf. Have you seen these three? - No.|- No? Thanks. - Can I get you something?|- Some tea. Both of you? Have you seen this man? No, we haven't. Didn't we run into him? Why don't you join us for a cup of tea? We know him,|please sit and have a cup of tea. - Sit down...|- Don't mention it. Have you seen this man? Of course we have, he's our teacher. That looks just like him. That's must be our teacher's name. I don't even have to look. - Where is he now?|- At home of course. No. 1, East Boulevard. Have a cup of tea. What's the hurry? Old Fox. It's you, Tiger. Surprised? I didn't know you'd find me so soon. You were so sly. You run away on your two accomplices. Leaving them in jail. They've been released and after you. They've found me already. Where are they now? You'll seen them in a while. Did you kill them? Are you going to put up a fight? Of course I am. Come on. Wait here, I'm going to fetch teacher. Hurry back. Killing me would cost you on more charge. You've committed so many crimes already. You won't get away with it. Go talk to your friends in hell. I don't know|Master is this kind of person. Yipao said he was coming to fetch you. Did he come back? Yes, a long time ago. Where can he be? Yipao! Weren't you coming back for teacher? Come over here. See, Yipao is here. Did you see everything? More or less. What are you two talking about? What's the matter? Teacher... What happened, Yipao? - Stay away, Taipao.|- Stop it, teacher. Stop or I'm going to fight back. You dare to fight your teacher? Why not, you hit my brother. Don't you abuse your seniority. Let's go, Taipao. Go? Come back. We'll apply what we've learned from him. Two against one? Haven't you seen this before? Yipao! There's no way we can win. Try to get away. It's stupid for both of us to die. - You'd better go.|- No. Or else you will die too. Then no one will take revenge for me. Yipao, let's go. We are brothers. Usually I listen to you.|This time listen to me. What's the hesitation? You hurry and leave. Take revenge for me. Yipao! Go. Taipao. - I've got it.|- It's OK. Where's my chicken? Not spicy enough? Yes, how do you know? The chicken was mine. Yours? - But your name was not on it.|- Sure it was. Show me. It was marked on your drumstick. Why couldn't I find it? Show me when you've found it. You've eaten that portion already. You lack wine and I lack food. Why don't we share what we have? Vinegar? That was the wrong bottle. Give me some water. Water... Come... And, come... This water tastes funny. What kind of water is this? I just used it to wash my feet. You dare to make fun of me? No? Alright. I help you get up. Come on. Come and sleep. I come across this fat guy. Does fate like to bring us together? His Kung-fu is real good. If I could learn his Kung fu,|I could take revenge for all of you. I don't know if he would|take me as pupil. Don't think so much. It's decided. Uncle Fatty. You called me uncle. I bet you want a favor from me. I... You want to crack the nuts for me? I want to... You wanted to eat them? But I've eaten them all now. I didn't mean that. You want to wish me a happy new year? But it's only August. It's about what you've just... You want to be my student. So that I'll pay for your room and board. As well as other expenses. No way. I got to eat. Waiter, one more bowl please. What kind of Kung Fu was that? Garbage Boxing, thanks. Garbage Boxing. I wouldn't be able to do those tricks. But I can do some tricks you can't do. I can do any tricks. You want to bet? Teach me your tricks if you loss. What if I win? I'll take over your begging job. And bring you food everyday. Use fire to burn the pole? You should prepare the pole for me. You hold this for people|to guess what it is. Under no circumstances|should you reveal it. Or else you lose. That's simple Guess what he's holding in his hand. One dollar for the correct answer. Candies. I think it's chocolate. A coin. - Peanuts.|- Nuts. There's nothing in his hand. I think it's a stone. You're all wrong. What's in his hand? They're all wrong. Let us see what it is. Open? Open for them? - Open for them to see|- OK It's a piece of charcoal. It's a piece of charcoal. You were not supposed to reveal it. I know. - But you did.|- So? I'm your student then. Boss. Smart head. Master. No need call me Master. Let's begin. - Go inside?|- A little bit. Again. A little further? Straighten your leg. I can't get in. Now turn ten somersaults. This is strengthen your waist and legs. Why all this trouble? Just give me some of Popeye's spinach. And I'll be like Hercules. If I had wings... I would have flown away. Let go, now. It's like finding a buoy at sea. - What's that?|- I won't let go. So I am the buoy at sea. Work hard. I will. Grab the neck. What's so funny? Once again. Garbage boxing. Crane Mantis. Monkey. - Feeling good?|- Very. It feels even better now. Get up and do it again. I feel short-winded. I'll teach you how to avoid that. Here we go. That's simple. Show me all the moves. - I've taught you.|- Yes, sir. How was that? Not good enough. One more time. I've had enough. Shut up and carry on. I can't get up. Of course you can. Get up and jump. No way. I jump... Then jump. Faster, teacher. Why are you so slow? What happened, teacher? I feel short-winded. Really? I'll teach you how to avoid that. Come on, jump! How is my kung fu, Master? It's not bad, but it needs|something to be perfect. You buy some wine,|I make chicken for you tonight. Taipao... Taipao? I'm Big Eyes, not Taipao. I'm sorry. Chia! Old guy. Yipao, it's you. It's me who taught you kung fu. You are no match for me. It's not you who taught me these. So you are no match for me. Yipao, your kung fu is not bad. But it needs something to be perfect. What? Let me show you! Isn't it great? Yipao, the great really|belongs to the experienced. It's not simply great, it's excellent. - Go.|- See which way you go. Thanks. Please take the bill. Stop, please, don't hit. It's not me who want to, but it's him. - I've said you...|- Not yet perfect. Mind your own business. I want to take you back to yamen. You are food beggar. You don't think I'm Justice of Peace,|right? Boy, watch me. Stop... You want 'eagle snatching chick"? Please stop. Shit, this time it goes wrong again. Don't be afraid. You sure win. Monkey? You are primate monkey.|I was born in the year of monkey. What are you doing, Master?|Don't you know you are heavy? Really? Can't get it right? Catch. Master, I don't know you are detective. But thinking of it makes me tremble. Tremble? I'll make some tonic for you. You eat it and you would be|as warm as the sun. Is your leg alright, Master? - Could you carry me on your back?|- OK. |
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