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MASH 1970 CD2

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- So are you, but you don't know it.
- It's in pretty deep.|- I think that was my finger.
I need your help, Hawkeye.|It's hit more than a lung.
- What do you think?|- I don't know.
- Hey, Radar.|- Yes.
Has that A negative come in from Seoul?
- We keep ordering it, but it never arrives.|- How'd the kid take the induction, Ugly?
Good. He's ready.
Pickups and irrigation, please.
Give me some gel foam.
Not now, honey. Go back to sleep.
- Sponge.|- More sponges.
- Let's have the suction up here. Thank you.|- Rib spreader.
- Clamp.|- Let's give him a sexy scar, huh? Fantastic.
- Lot of blood.|- Sponge.
- Scissors. Watch it.|- Give me something to stuff it in with.
- Pickups for me.|- How's he tolerating this?
- Good. He's young.|- Things get slippery.
- You're a backhanded guy.|- Let me have the forceps and a sponge stick.
Hot Lips, you may be a pain in the ass,|but you're a damn good nurse.
- Thanks, Trapper.|- Put enough blood in him, John.
There's a clot on the cava above the atrium.|Must be the point of entry.
I feel a fragment right underneath the clot.
- You control the cava.|- OK.
- We gotta stop that spurting.|- Clamp.
- Do what?|- Stop the spurting.
That's a very good technical term.
Christ. It's not in the cava.|It's in the pulmonary artery on the left side.
- OK. Let me close him up and sit on it for...|- We can't sit on it. What if we're jammed up?
We don't have the blood!|If you cut again, you'll lose him.
Look, Hawkeye, the artery can erode.
Now's the time to take our shot.
- A negative.|- You said you didn't have any blood.
I found a donor.
Up close, all crumpled up like that,|they don't look like much, you know.
Was he loaded or empty when he crashed?
He was loaded, but it didn't matter much.
You see, the two guys|he was carrying were dead already.
What about the pilot?
Pilot's fine. Took off a kneecap and he lost|the function in his right hand, but he's great.
I didn't hear. What colour was her hair?
Black, shiny. Shiny, black hair.
Black? You like black?|I... I'm kind of partial to blonde myself.
I knew it. I knew you had|an attraction for Hot Lips Houlihan.
- Hear! Hear!|- Go to hell, Captain Pierce.
You know I damn near puke every time I look|at her. 'Sides, I'll bet she's not a real blonde.
How dare you say that about|an officer of the United States Army, sir?
I'll not only say it,|but I'll back it with 20 bucks. How's that?
You have yourself a bet, sir.|You're my witness.
OK, but who's gonna be|the poor schmuck who finds out?
Well, I could, if no one else wants... l...
No, no. We...|We gotta all see it together somehow.
It's five minutes after the time|the nurses shower. Where are they?
They will be here.
Finest kind, Ho-Jon.
- What's happening?|- Radar...
- See the papers?|- What?
You don't know about|the papers the colonel left?
- Why didn't you tell me about the papers?|- I tried to.
Here you go, here you go. They're comin'.
- Evelyn, could you give me a hand?|- Sure.
Hey, Frankie, could you|take a look at my corns, please?
Knocko, the pictures of my kids have come.
- Hot Lips, would you like to see them?|- I'm not interested.
Hey, Scorch.
Bravo! Bravo!
Bravo! Author! Bravo!
Bravo! Author! Author!
20 bucks, huh?
You win the bet.
Oh! That's it!
- Major, what went on?|- Where's Blake?
- You can't see Colonel Blake.|- You shut up, you twerp!
This isn't a hospital! It's an insane asylum!
And it's your fault because|you don't do anything to discourage them!
- What do you want me to do?|- Put them under arrest!
See what a court-martial thinks|of their drunken hooliganism!
First they called me Hot Lips,|and you let them get away with it!
And then you let them|get away with everything!
And if you don't turn them over|to the MP this minute,
I... I'm gonna resign my commission!
God dammit, Hot Lips,|resign your goddamn commission.
My commission!
My commission!
My commission!
A little more wine, my dear?
Yes, please.
Is that right?
Come on, baby.
Come on. You all right? Keep it straight, eh?
- First the present, then dinner, then a movie.|- You mean all three of you?
- Where I go, Warren goes.|- You don't want me to go with you?
Well, Boone...
He's Syngman Rhee's son,|and he goes right in.
Hey, soldier!
- Me?|- Yeah, you. Where you from?
- A MASH outfit at the front line.|- No, I mean your hometown.
It's on the East Coast.
Have you been wounded yet?
Yeah, a little... a slight...
- Would you like to say hello to your mother?|- Well, my mother's dead actually.
Oh. Well, I'm sorry.
- I'd like to say hello to my father, if I could.|- Yeah, yeah, fine.
Hi, Dad.
Excuse me. I am making|an examination of this young man
to find out if he would be|a soldier in our army.
Yeah, I know. Hi, Ho-Jon.|How's she goin', boy?
His heartbeat is much too fast
and his blood pressure is dangerously high.
Oh, yeah?
I guess you think he's unfit for the army, eh?
Yes, at first. But when I saw on his paper|he worked in an American hospital
where there are many drugs|and he could have taken some by mistake.
- What would he do a thing like that for?|- Who knows?
To find the truth I will keep him here|for a couple of days.
By tomorrow his fast heart|and high blood pressure may be gone.
- Look...|- So I suggest you say goodbye to him now.
- Doctor, I've...|- It was a nice try. Come on, Ho-Jon.
Oh, man!
This is brought to you through Radio Tokyo
by courtesy of the Veterans of Foreign Wars,|Post Number 63 of Sedalia, Missouri.
A federal court rules that|El Du Pont de Nemours and Company,
Remington Arms Company and the Imperial|Chemical Industries Limited of Great Britain
have conspired to divide munition...
Idiot! He knocked me down the hill!|He broke my umbrella!
I wish they wouldn't land these things|when we're playing golf.
- That's him on the right. Wait! Wait!|- Captain McIntyre.
The lieutenant's come from Seoul to see you.
- You're Captain McIntyre?|- Yes, I'm Captain...
Lieutenant, you look terrible. Captain,|look at his eyes. Let me see your tongue.
Oh, no, no. Take your shirt off|and tell me where it hurts.
I haven't seen a case like this|since I was in school. My goodness.
Listen, Vollmer, tell them|to prepare the major surgery.
This is one case in five. I think I can save you.
You're to proceed to|Kokura, Japan, immediately.
Kokura, Japan! What's this about?
There's a congressman. Grenade went off|in practice. There's a piece in his heart.
- What?|- GI's dad's a congressman.
Grenade went off in practice.|Piece in his heart.
- That the X-rays?|- Yeah.
Apparently some big heart surgeon|in Boston told the congressman
the only man to take care of his son|is Captain John McIntyre.
Of course, I suppose there could be|two Captain John McIntyre's.
No, no, I'm the only John McIntyre.
Look, Hammond says I can take|someone to assist me. Wanna come?
Lieutenant, I think I can save you.|Take one of these every half-hour.
Now, get into your helicopter and button up|your shirt! You're in the military army!
- It isn't even close to his heart.|- I know, it's nothing.
But how many times do you get to go|to Japan with your golf clubs?
Come on, Shirley.
Goddamn army.
Goddamn army!
Goddamn army jeep!
Excuse me, could you tell me|where the congressman's son is?
- Ward six.|- Darling, would you register us?
Just a moment!|You can't go in there. Who are you?
- Who am l? The pro from...|- I don't believe you.
You can't go in till I call Captain Peterson.
Wait a second. If this soldier wants to enforce|her orders, I'll take her on single-handedly.
- Get away!|- You open this.
- He's won two Purple Hearts.|- You can't come in!
- I'll ravage your body.|- I'll call the police. You can't come in!
- You have not seen such a beast!|- I'm gonna call Captain Peterson. Stay away!
- Captain Peterson, please.|- Captain Peterson!
- What are you two hoodlums doing here?|- Ma'am, we are surgeons here to operate.
You can't go near a patient until Colonel|Merrill says it's OK. And he's still at lunch.
Mother, I wanna go to work in one hour.|We are the pros from Dover
and we figure to crack this kid's chest|and go play golf before it gets dark.
So find the gas passer,|have him premedicate the patient,
then bring me the latest pictures on him.|The ones we saw were old.
Then tell the kitchen to rustle us up lunch.|Ham would be fine. Steak would be better.
Then get one nurse who knows how to work|in close without getting her tits in my way.
Oh, you fool.
How do you want your steak cooked?
Say the magic words,|you make a hundred dollars.
All right! I demand an explanation.
Somebody get that dirty old man out.
Dirty old ma...
I'm Colonel Merrill.
I don't care if you're Jack Armstrong,|the All-American Boy.
If this chest gets infected,|I will tell the congressman who did it.
- Scissors, please.|- Will you let me have a skin suture?
Old pickups.
- Who was that?|- That's Colonel Merrill.
- This is his little store here.|- Oh, yeah?
Who are you?
I'm Dr Jekyll actually.|This is my friend Mr Hyde.
Why don't you save your rapier like wit|for the clam diggers back home, Hawkeye?
Did I ever tell you about my friend,|Me Lay Marston?
Oh, yeah. Your friend who would go|around saying "Me lay, you lay" to the girls.
He'd score once out of 50 times.|Yeah, you told me about him.
He's passing gas for|the congressman's son here.
Oh, really? When he's not passing gas,|does he play golf?
I don't know.
- D'you play golf?|- No. I have no time for golf.
I'm moonlighting down at Dr Yamachi's|New Era Hospital and Whorehouse.
This old guy I met when I came over.
He has a crude hospital for kids and finances|it with a whorehouse all in the same building.
It's the NEHWH. Come on down|and we'll get something going for you.
- I've got an in in Kokura!|- Here, soldier, take these.
Take our golf carts, but don't drop anything|cos we're gonna play golf later.
Goodbye, pimp.
- Ladies.|- Girls.
Gentlemen. Be careful with that...
Military police.
All right, fellas, the game's over.
Finally caught up with us, huh?
Where did we fail?
I don't know. I think it was the woman.|Something tells me I've seen her before.
She was the one in Tangiers.
You can wait in the colonel's office.|He'll be back in a few minutes.
We don't blame you.
You're only doing your job.
United Press International|today voted the Korean War
- the top news story of1951.|- We're in the middle of putting.
My God.
All right. You men are under arrest.
- I'll have you court-martialled!|- Come off it, Colonel.
You don't have us. We have you.
Your boys blew this case|and we bailed you out.
Now we are gonna stay here for one more day|and check out the congressman's kid,
and... get in some golf for ourselves.
If that's OK with you, then we got a deal.
And if it isn't, we can always call Washington
and you tell them your story and|we'll tell them ours. It's as simple as that.
In the meantime we'll be at the pro shop|where we are gonna shower and shave.
If you wanna get in touch with us,|that is where we will be.
Is that a client?
Excuse me.
Oh, you try one.
- Good?|- Oh, it's terrible.
Listen, I hate to do this to you fellas,
but do you think|you could look at a kid for me?
- Now?|- A kid?
We had a little carelessness here,
and the other day one of our girls presented|us with an 8lb American-Japanese boy.
Whenever we feed him, it either comes|right back up or he coughs and he turns blue.
We don't have to see him. Just tell that|half-assed hospital to get some Lipiodol
and we'll take some X-rays.
We can't get near that place.
With a civilian, the colonel has a big thing|about it, especially a "native".
Then don't tell him any more than necessary.|Tell him the pros have an emergency.
Tell him to get the OR ready and Trapper|and I'll fix his tracheo-oesophageal fistula.
OK, Me Lay, put him down in here.
Get him to sleep|as quick as you can, will you?
- Where did this baby come from?|- Watch him.
- Is this what you got us up for?|- Yeah.
We stumbled on him. We don't want him,|but we can't back away from him.
This time I will not be intimidated.
I command that this illegal use|of army facilities cease immediately!
On this point I stand as firm as|the Rock of Gibraltar.
And furthermore l... You can't do this...
- This one is for West Point.|- What the Sam Hill's going on here?
That's what they all say.|What a filthy, disgusting, despicable...
There's no competition to the Painless Pole,|but it's pretty healthy.
- We caught you with your pants down!|- Men are fighting on the front line!
Attention! Attention!
Colonel Blake has secured for us|"The Halls of Montezuma",
so big only the biggest of the screen|can bring it to you all.
Technicolor. "Tell it to the Marines",|those lovable lugs with wonderful mugs,
who we now love more than ever.
Tell them they're still|the greatest guys in the world.
Follow Lieutenant, Punchy,|Limey, Baby-Face, Doc,
the Poet, Pretty Boyand Slattery
through some of the most|interesting war films yet created.
Due to a possible camp infection,|Arlene Chu's Hollywood Grill is now off limits.
That is all.
- Could I have some longer needles?|- Get this sponge outta the way.
Cut down on the back. Hey, Dago.
- Hi. Did you have a nice time in Japan?|- Yeah, I screwed a kabuki dancer.
- Let me have the long-fingers.|- It's OK?
Yeah, but I can't stop this bleeding.
- How's the intake, Painless?|- Normal.
- I'm here if you need me, Henry.|- Oh, I can't talk to you now, Padre.
No, I mean he's going to be all right, isn't he?
- Oh, he's going to be fine.|- Oh, good.
Does anybody else need help?
Oh, ask around.
What's he got the flaps down for?
- Duke! Come on, Duke. Open up.|- What? No, I don't want any.
Hey, Duke. Come on. Open up, man.
Who is it?
- What the hell you doing back here?|- We've been working for hours. Open up.
Wait a minute. I'll be right with you.
- Hi, Hot Lips.|- You miss us?
Shame, shame on you.
- Radar.|- Yes, sir.
Hold this, please.
- Colonel Blake.|- Henry? Yeah. Charlie here. Yeah.
I've got news for you. You were so concerned|about the battle for Old Baldy.
- Well, it's all over.|- Oh, that's great news, General. Who won?
Oh, by the way, I have a report here, Henry,|from your chief nurse Major O'Houlihan.
She makes some accusations, Henry,|I find pretty hard to believe.
Don't believe 'em then. Thank you, goodbye.
Yeah... What?
- Thank you, Radar.|- You're welcome, sir.
Attention. Attention. Friday night's|movie will be "The Glory Brigade".
Rock 'em, sock 'em, kisses you never got.
It's Uncle Sam's combat engineers|charging side by side with Greeks... Anzacs,
showing the world a new way to fight,|as they use bulldozers like bazookas,
bayonets like bazookas... bullets.
Starring Victor Mature. That is all.
I'll be with Colonel Blake. Check this place|out. See what the nurses are like, huh?
Right, sir.
- 4077th Mobile Army Surgi...|- Yeah, yeah.
- Sir, d'you know...|- Yes, I know where he is.
Oh. All right.
All right.
- Thank you.|- Look, Charlie,
you can't blame Henry because|Hot Lips Houlihan can't stand her name!
You know, she's just a lady though.|What the hell?
Come on, for crying out loud. She's|regular army. She's a fanatic about ritual.
She won't even let us play football.
- Football?|- General, she's all lined up, Charlie.
Yeah. I didn't know you had a football team.
It's pretty much in the planning stage.
No, no, we have a very fine football team.
Yeah? Well, we had a team|back with the 325th Evac last year.
- And what a team that was.|- Yeah. I coached the boys myself.
- He's the finest coach in the Far East.|- Yeah.
We're trying to work out a schedule|of the outfits we're gonna play this year.
Of course, we, you know, throw|a little money into a pot and make bets.
How much... how much money|do you put into your pot?
- Five thousand, six thousand.|- Five thousand dollars!
Look, I don't think we're in|the sort of league you're in.
Well, I'm sure we can find a date|when we can play your team.
- It can be arranged.|- Yeah. I think I'll talk this over with Henry.
Thanks, boys. Thanks for the drink.
- Thank you.|- What the hell you...?
Sir, ever since the dark days before Pearl|Harbor, I've been proud to wear this uniform.
- What the hell is this?|- A helicopter.
That man has five times|the manpower to draw on than we do.
Sure, so we get ourselves a ringer, right?
We get Henry to apply, make|a specific application for a neurosurgeon.
He asks for Dr Oliver Harmon Jones.
- Dr Oliver Harmon Jones?|- Oh, he's... Who is Oliver Harmon Jones?
He is better known as Spearchucker Jones.
- He's a good ballplayer.|- Yes! That Negro boy, played with the 49ers.
- Sure.|- Sure, I remember. He's good.
Henry, if we had closer relations, we wouldn't|have this misunderstanding, right?
Now, that's where a football game|would help between your outfit and mine.
A football game?
We put up a few bets,|five thousand maybe, and have a little fun.
Special Services in Tokyo|says it's one of our best gimmicks
to keep the American|way of life going in Asia.
- Betting?|- No! Football.
But what about Major O'Houlihan?
You mean Hot Lips? Screw her!
- It's a helicopter, General.|- I know it's a helicopter!
I just wondered|about the social problem, you know.
I mean, he's the only Negro officer|in the whole camp, you know.
We got a problem,|we'll stick him in with us, baby boy.
- You're serious, ain't you?|- Sure, I'm serious.
It's enough for me to have to put up with|you two Yankees, but I'm, you know, that's...
Because of his wife,|or was it a religious problem?
- It was a conditioning problem.|- Why you called Spearchucker?
I used to throw the javelin.
Right, we're not here to sell lemonade,|we're here to practise.
But first let's welcome Spearchucker.|Is it all right to call you that?
Call me whatever you want.
I want you to know we're all the same here|on the playing field, officers and men alike.
Now, we're going to begin|with the three basic principles:
organization, discipline and teamwork. Now...
- Pardon me. Mind if we limber up first?|- That's a good idea. You organize that.
{y:i}Move that line, hey!|{y:i}Hold that line, hey!
All right, Seidman, keep 'em pushin'|that whatever you call it.
That's good. All right, Hot Lips,|keep their arms and limbs moving.
Radar, you're a coach.|You're not a corporal, you're a coach,
so keep them going through there.|Good, Hot Lips.
All right, Seidman, give 'em five.
All right, men, take five. Spearchucker.
We look pretty lousy, don't we?
For college players that have been|out of training for seven years, yeah, you do.
I got an idea how we can make some money.
We leave him out of the first half. We bet half|our money. They roll up some points, OK?
Second half we stick him in.|We get odds from them.
We bet the other half. We clean up.
- Good thinking, Captain.|- Sounds good to me.
Oh, and I had another idea.|I think we should have some plays.
Usually in football you have organized plays.
- Well, if you don't mind, I took the liberty.|- Oh, you have.
- I drew up seven or eight plays.|- Oh, these are good.
- I think that's all this bunch can handle.|- Oh, very good. Yes. Oh, very, very good.
What are these little arrows?
Right into his hands!
- Well, it's only six points.|- Six points!
- It's only one point.|- One point!
Who's that number one? We can't stop him.
They call him Super Bug.|He had one year with the Rams.
- We can't do anything with him in there.|- You gotta come in. We can't wait.
No, we stick to our strategy,|but you gotta get him out of the ball game.
Hey, Davidson! Here!
Let's ease up just a little bit.|We don't want the score too lopsided.
He caught it!
- Who's he giving it to?|- Isn't that Corporal Judson?
Judson's a lineman! Judson can't run!
For crying out loud, Judson,|what're you doin'?
- Duke, you threw me that ball!|- You had the field open! Why'd you fall?
I'm no goddamn runner, I'm a lineman.
We're gonna really clean up today.
- Ah, it's only two points.|- Two points.
- What d'you think you are, a cannon?|- What kind of a snap was that?
We got a lot of money on this game.|This is embarrassing!
Let's go! Yeah!
- What happens now?|- We get a free kick.
A free kick! Girls!
{y:i}Hit that ball! Kick that ball!
- Another six points.|- Another six points.
Look. Look. He's hurt.
He's leaving the game!
{y:i}He's hurt! He's hurt!|{y:i}He's leaving the game! He's hurt!
{y:i}He's hurt! He's hurt!|{y:i}He's leaving the game! He's hurt!
What the hell's the matter with you? Smith!
- Those damn bastards pulled something.|- Coach, did I break my 400?
400! This is not a track meet. This is a football|game. What d'you think I pay you for?
Get him up. Walk him around. Do something.
- I think I won the 440.|- 440! This is a football game, god dammit!
All right, you guys, get in there and kill 'em!
All right, bub, your fuckin' head|is comin' right off.
- I'm ready, Coach.|- Ready for what?
- I'm in the broad jump, Coach.|- Get him back on the bench. Broad jump!
- Still 16 to nothing.|- 16 to nothing.
Well, that's not bad.|16 to nothing in the first half.
I have to give them the old Knute Rockne.
- About time for the gun.|- Right.
Men, ever since the dark days before Pearl|Harbor, I've been proud to wear this uniform.
- Got a towel?|- Henry, have you pressed the bets?
- Today we are wearing...|- Have you pressed the bets?
Oh, the bets! Finish the half-time speech.
{y:i}Hit 'em with a mortar!|{y:i}Kick 'em off the hill!
{y:i}Mash 'em! Smash 'em!|{y:i}Kill! Kill! Kill!
Hot Lips! There's a time|and a place for everything, dammit!
Oh! Right. Bo-bo.
{y:i}Bo! Bo!
Come on, Smitty. Come on, boy.
- What's the matter with him?|- You ought a know. You pulled something.
- I guess you don't wanna double the bet.|- The hell I don't.
We beat you without him,|and we'll go on beating you.
- Are you prepared to back that up with odds?|- Damn right. Three to one. Double the bet.
Player 24, who is he?
Stop him!
Stop him! Stop him! Who is that guy?|He wasn't in the game in the first half.
Stop him!
- That's Spearchucker Jones.|- Who?
He played with San Francisco before he|got drafted. He's gonna be tough to stop, too.
Henry, you brought in a ringer, did you?
- Radar, what's the general trying to say?|- Didn't bring him in in the first half!
He's just been informed|as to the identity of our Spearchucker.
- His ringer's spotted our ringer.|- How do you like them apples, Charlie?
- You can't trust anybody.|- Now watch him make the extra point.
isn't that illegal?
What kind of team is it?|They're falling all around like dead flies!
Look! A red flag! We've got a red flag!
Hot Lips!
It's a penalty, you idiot.
Judson, get off of him.|You'll be thrown out of the game.
Judson, kill him!
What's wrong with you?|We're here to play football, not fight!
Bastard 88 called me a coon.
Called you a what?
OK, that's an old pro trick|to get you thrown out of the ball game.
- Why don't you do the same thing to him?|- What, call him a coon?
No, the boys in camp used to talk about|his sister. Her name was Gladys. Use it!
- Yeah.|- All right, all right.
What the hell are you doing, for God's sake?
What's the matter here?
They're takin' him out.
{y:i}69 is divine!
{y:i}69 is divine!
There you go, Charlie. Another|side of beef for your butcher shop.
{y:i}Let's get the ball and really go
{y:i}Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
- Who's the brunette? She new?|- Yeah, I had her shipped in.
Yeah. Not bad.|Kill 'em! Kill 'em, god dammit!
My God! They've shot him!
Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop,|it's the end of the quarter.
What did I make you a major for?|For a team like that?
I did the best I could.|I didn't know they'd get a ringer.
- I ought to put you in and let 'em kill you.|- What about my knee?
You better get on your goddamn knee|and start prayin'. Trick knee, my ass.
My God!
- How's that?|- Did you see that?
Get the hell back there. Get back there.
Well, looks like we may make it.|Seconds to go.
OK, fellows,|we don't have very much time left.
I got a special play I wanna run,|a semi-eligible play.
Line up with everybody to the right|ofthe centre except Hawkeye,
who drops back one yard|before the snap of the ball.
That makes you the semi-eligible. Just take|the ball from Trapper between your legs
and hide it under your belly and walk|toward their goal. Right? Now, Trapper...
All right. Come on.
- This is only one time. $5,000.|- Worth a try.
- It'd be a miracle.|- Whaddya say, let's do it now!
- What are you doing? Get back!|- I got the ball!
Run with it!
- Two dollars|- Two dollars.
Four dollars.
Out. I fold.
Raise you two.
Raise it another two?
- I have an Oklahoma.|- Oh, God!
- What is that?|- Two eights, a ten of spades, a deuce, a five.
- You win!|- What do you have?
Tokyo. The United States|Armed Forces Radio is on the air.
Duke? You busy?
- What is it?|- Henry's got our orders. We can go home.
- Right now?|- Any time. Whenever we want.
D'you mind if we get out|of this guy's brain first?
Can't you sew this thing up?|You got that vessel under control.
- I just...|- Haven't you?
- I wanna make sure the oozing is checked.|- Damn perfectionist.
Yeah, well, I'm...
I'll see you.
Five goddamn months and they don't even|give a guy time off for good behavior.
Hey, see you around.
It's possible.
Take care of the squirrels.
So long, Pup-Pup.
Will you go, for Christ's sakes? Go before|they change their minds. Get outta here!
Oh, God, listen favorably to our prayers|and with your right hand bless this jeep.
Send your holy angels so that all who ride|in it may be delivered from every danger.
And as you granted faith and grace by your|deacon Philip to the man from Ethiopia,
who was sitting in his chariot|reading holy scripture,
show the way of salvation to your servants,
so that, helped by your grace|and always intent on doing good works,
they may, after all the trials|of their pilgrimage and life on earth,
attain to everlasting joys|through Christ our Lord. Amen.
- Captain Pierce, your driver'll be here soon.|- He's here.
Let's go, driver.
Attention. Tonight's movie has been "MASH".
Follow the zanyantics|of our combat surgeons
as they cut and stitch their way|along the frontlines.
Operating as bombs...
Operating as bombs and bullets|burst around them,
snatching laughs and love|between amputations and penicillin.
Did Hawkeye steal that jeep?
- No, sir. That's the one he came in.|- Very good. Come along, my dear.
Follow Hawkeye, Trapper, Duke, Dago Red,
Painless, Radar, HotLips,|Dish and Staff Sergeant Vollmer
as they put our boys back together again.
Starring Donald Sutherland, Elliot Gould,|Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall,
Jo Ann Pflug, Rene Auberjonois,|RogerBowen, Gary Burghoff, David Arkin,
John Schuck, Fred Williamson, Indus Arthur,|Tim Brown, Corey Fischer, Bud Cort,
Carl Gottlieb, Dawne Damon, Tamara|Horrocks, Ken Prymus, Danny Goldman,
Kim Atwood, Michael Murphy,|G Wood, Rick Neilan and Bobby Troup.
- Goddamn army.|- That is all.
Original subtitle by: sandromagni
Resync, spelling, corrections and additions:|Masken, july 10th 2002.
Synced to fit:|M.A.S.H.1970.DVDivX-CLiX
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