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{y:i}- I'd like to be a psychologist.|{y:i}-Something in the travel industry. {y:i}-A vet. I love animals.|{y:i}- Rich and famous. {y:i}I want to be a mechanic. {y:i}I want to be a bass guitar player,|{y:i}and I want to travel a lot. {y:i}-A photographer.|{y:i}- I'd like to be a psychiatrist. {y:i}A secretary to earn lots of money. I'd like to maybe be|a fashion designer... or I'd like to be a philosopher. I want to be happy|and successful. - I want to be a masseuse.|- I want to be a sky-dive instructor. - I'd like to be a supermodel.|- I want to be a painter or comedienne. I'm going to marry|my boyfriend Jared and have... four kids. I want to get married and that,|but like not straight away. Settle down with a guy,|and then have a family. To be honest, I don't want|to get married whatsoever. Getting married and having children--|definitely yes-- but not too early. But I don't recommend you leave it too|late, 'cause you should see my auntie. She's so desperate. That's a no. That's a no. That's|a maybe, but I think it'll be a no. Green Oaks High says tomorrow's no good.|Try ringing back next year. The personal growth teacher|at North Hills canceled. Presbyterian Grammar School|banned you... since that piece you did on|their Year Eight drug dealers. Your dry cleaning's ready to be|picked up, and your mother called. Shit! Shit! - Another bloody award.|- What for? Your teen suicide number.|Tedious, isn't it? You must have enough paperweights|to sink a ship by now. Jesus, Pam... You're not still researching|that story on girls, are you? - I know, I know, deadline's looming!|- Second deadline. - Is that all?|- Actually, no. If it's Joe's domestic violence story,|I'm going through it with him tomorrow. No, it's not that.|It's something else. Well? - I don't quite know how to put this.|- Haven't got all day, Max. Well, actually, it's not just me.|It's the whole office. There's something-- Look, I know I've been|a real pain in the butt lately... but it's been 17 1/2 days, and I'm not|going to take up smoking again... just to make your life easier. It's just that the girls want to know|how many candles to put on your cake. Happy birthday! I'll kill you. Don't look at me.|Rog organized the whole thing. {y:i}I believe in miracles {y:i}Where you from, you sexy thing {y:i}You sexy thing|{y:i}You sexy thing, you sexy thing {y:i}I believe in miracles {y:i}-Since you came along|{y:i}- You sexy thing, you sexy thing {y:i}Hi. You've reached my machine,|{y:i}but don't hang up. {y:i}Please leave a message,|{y:i}send a fax or try the mobile. {y:i}Pam? Just your old mum|{y:i}ringing to wish you the best. {y:i}But you're not there,|{y:i}so let's hope you're out celebrating. {y:i}Righty-ho.|{y:i}Happy birthday, love. I love and approve of myself. I love and approve of myself. I love and approve of myself. I am in the rhythm and fow|of ever-changing life. I deserve the best,|and I accept the best. Where are you? Yes! Hi. Hi! I guess I could go|to nightclubs, discos... but, well, I mean,|if I was a decent kind of lady... sitting there,|minding my own business... and a man like me came up and tried|to strike up a conversation, well-- I'd think I was a sleaze. So, I certainly don't think|there's anything wrong... with people, you know,|making use of personal advertisements. And I absolutely can't see that there's|anything to be ashamed of about that. Can you? I mean,|it's not like we're freaks. It's not like we're|social retards, no. We're just intelligent,|mature people trying to... take our destinies|into our own hands. Right? Bastard. Coward. Misogynist. Commitmophobe. Dental surgeon. Mr. Right. Oh, Robert Dickson. Why did I let you go? I mean, God, Terri,|I was going to be so successful. What do you mean? You are! I've completely fucked up. You were so lucky to meet Leonard. You've got a gorgeous husband,|a fantastic marriage... and now, to top it all off,|uou've got Otto. - You're disgustingly happy.|- Oh, well, I'm so sorry. Anyway, what's happy?|You know where it comes from? In here, attitude. That's easy to say|when you're happy. - I think I've missed the boat.|- Rubbish. I'm thinking|about having a baby... by myself if I have to. - I thought you didn't like kids.|- What's that got to do with it? Oh, pooh! - It's different when they arrive.|- Come on, Mr. Pooh. I like Otto. I'm supposed to be happily married|with two kids by now. - Says who?|- A clairvoyant. When did you see|a clairvoyant? Ages ago, after I decided|not to marry Robert. You don't seriously still think|about Robert Dickson, do you? - How many years are we talking, 10, 12?|- Thirteen. Whatever happened to Dicko? He ended up marrying|Janine Lititski. Anyway, this clairvoyant said|move on, don't look back... and I'd meet a wonderful man and have|two great kids by the time I was-- By now. One more time! Hold on tight|at the back. Okay, ready? Step! Elbow! Knee! Now, come on. Let's put something|into it. Show us you mean it. Yell! Okay, let's go.|Okay, step! Elbow! Knee! Come on! Come on! There's no point|in being ladylike about it. - So, go! Go!|- Go! Okay. Okay. Now,|let's say that he's got a hold of you. - What are some of the things you use?|- Kicking. - Punching?|- Yelling? Okay, and if he's got you|on the ground, on top of you? - Scratch his eyes out.|- Pretend to cooperate. Bite his tongue. - Okay. Anything else?|- Rupture his scrotum. So, do you think girls get|a fair go in this school? - What's this for again?|- I write for 'Focal Point'. I'm researching an article|about girls today-- what they want out of life, dreams,|expectations, obstacles. Oh, that's good stuff, 'Focal Point'.|Great articles. - You read it?|- Yeah. I can, you know. No, I didn't mean-- I just didn't think it was the kind|of thing that a P.E. teacher would-- A P.E. teacher? Oh. No,|this isn't phys-ed. This is Life Skills. So you're a-- - A student crisis counselor.|- Sorry. Ben. Ben Monroe. Pamela Drury. There was a terrific story|a while back on teen suicide. Thank you. - You wrote that?|- I can, you know. I wish I'd made a copy of it. Do you|reckon I could get hold of a back copy? Yes, I think so... if you really want. - Nearly went that way myself, you know.|- Suicide? -Journalism.|- Oh. Investigative, of course.|You know, ask the hard questions. Expose corruption.|Right all wrongs. Look, I'm really sorry. I've gotta rush.|I've got a student waiting. - That's fine.|- If you ever need any help,just-- Well, that would be great.|It's a real hassle getting into schools. All right. Well-- I'm a bit hard to catch here. You know, we get|the lot in this place-- You know, eating disorders,|racism, harassment... assault, drugs... and a bit of self-mutilation|on a good day. Hot date, Mr. Monroe?|Reckon you'll get your end in? {y:i}- That's what I like about you|{y:i}-About you {y:i}- You hold me tight|{y:i}- Tight {y:i}Tell me I'm the only one {y:i}- Wanna come over tonight|- Hello! Oh, hi, Mum.|Hang on, hang on, hang on. Yeah, I'm just in the middle of dinner.|That's all right. Steak and vegetables. How are you? No, not tonight.|I've got work to do. Mum, I do look after myself. I do get out. I've seen people. Do you always have to do this? Mum, I'm not being sensitive. Mum, I have not chosen|a solitary lifestyle. Hi. Ben? Oh, it's Pamela Drury,|the journalist from this afternoon. Look. This might sound crazy. I don't normally do|this type of thing, but... I was wondering--|please say if this is inappropriate-- but I was wondering if-- Oh, fuck! He cooks. Please, God,|don't make him an alcoholic. {y:i}When I was young {y:i}I never needed {y:i}Anyone {y:i}And making love was just for fun {y:i}Those days are gone {y:i}Livin'alone {y:i}I think of all the friends I've known {y:i}And when I dial the telephone {y:i}Nobody's home {y:i}All by myself {y:i}Don't wanna be {y:i}All by myself {y:i}Anymore {y:i}I took a chance {y:i}Sometimes I feel so insecure {y:i}Love's so distant and obscure - Get that in you. You look like death.|- Thanks, Charlie. - You gotta look after yourself, Pamela.|- Yeah, yeah, I know. Excuse me. I'm conducting a survey.|Do you have a moment? Doesn't take long. Great. -Do you live in the inner-city vicinity?|-Yes. - And are you employed?|- Yes. Which age group describes you? - 18 to 25, 25 to 30, 30 to 35--|- Stop! - Do you consider yourself to be happy?|- Pardon? Do you have faith|in our Lord,Jesus Christ? As a matter of fact,|I am happy. Happy, happy, happy. Probably a lot happier than you, you|patronizing little prick. Now piss off!. Oh, my God!|I didn't see you. Are you all right? Are you hurt? Am I dead? Robert Dickson! This should do the trick. Stacy's 12 1/2. Douglas is ten. That was supposed to be it,|then along came Rupert. - He was a diaphragm baby.|- Rupert? Rob's great grandfather. What's your earliest memory? Tommy Higginbothom|throwing up all over me. Yes! I still can't bear|the smell of egg mayonnaise. Let alone eat it. First period? Oh, it was a Saturday morning? Summer. I was meant to be meeting|the others down at the beach. - I was only what?|- Twelve. I thought it was the end|of the world. Mum-- Caught me trying to burn|my underpants in the incinerator. What did she say? ''You should be pleased|You're becoming a woman.'' - I guess you don't smoke.|- I gave up years ago. You can't with a family, you know. Well, tell me about|all the exciting things in your life. Oh, well, you|must have done so much. Well-- I-- The kids from school. Quick! God! What have you|done to your hair? Can I have some juice? You open it, please. Pamela. Pamela? What's for tea? - Do you know what I want to have?|- Scintillating conversation? - A broken leg. That'd be so cool.|- I'll give you one, if you like. With a plaster so everyone|could tag all over, like that Muzza. Remember? Where we went last year|for Easter? Mum, what was it called? - Mum, where was it? Mum?|- Katoomba. Or a broken arm. My right arm so|I wouldn't have to do any schoolwork. It's cool to go to hospital. I guess you|have to go to the toilet in your bed. Is it true?|Is it true, Mum? Mum! - Is what true?|- Do they stick tubes up you? I don't know.|I've never been to hospital. You have so! Three times.|For Stacy, me and Rupert, dumbhead! {y:i}I'll do it|{y:i}on national television. {y:i}Lisa, I love you very much. {y:i}- I was wondering if you will marry me.|{y:i}- Of course. {y:i}Your call could not be connected. {y:i}Please check the number|{y:i}and try again. {y:i}Your call could not be connected.|{y:i}Please check the number-- {y:i}How about Friday,|{y:i}the 15th of March? {y:i}- Name, please?|- Drury. Initial P. {y:i}- Is that B?|- No, P for peculiar. {y:i}- What street?|- Barnes Avenue. {y:i}There's no listing|{y:i}under that name. None? Are you sure? None? {y:i}- I'm sorry. There's no listing.|- Could you try again, please? {y:i}Hurry up! Hurry up! What are you doing? Nothing. - Are you all right?|- Yes. No. Actually, I-- I-- I think I'm going... to bed. Mum? If you haven't got|uour period yet... do you have to use a condom|when you have sex? Come on, Pamela.|You've gotta wake up. Wake up. You're not asleep, are you? Oh, come on. Mum? Oh! Oh, thank God you're there! Mum, I think I'm going cr-- Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's a bit late. I know. Mum? Mum, I've-- I th-- The what? No, they're fine, Mum. The kids are fine. No, nothing's wrong, Mum. It's nothing really. I just had a nightmare. Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you. Bye. Come on, or I'll be late! {y:i}What are you doing?|{y:i}Dad never goes this way. {y:i}Oh. Which way does he go? {y:i}- The other way, dummy.|{y:i}- Right. {y:i}I don't go to parties, baby {y:i}'Cause people tend to freak me out {y:i}I want you to listen, work it out {y:i}I can hear the words, but|{y:i}I still don't know what it's all about - There's no bread or milk.|{y:i}- You won't see me down-- Yuck! Who's that for? Me? Excuse me. - Big family.|- Two boys and a girl. Don't you have to pick up Douglas? And then she just ran at him. Went face first|into the mud. Crunch! You could hear his nose|go everywhere, blood spewing. He had to go to hospital|in the ambulance and everything. You should have seen it.|It was so excellent. I need to go to the toilet. Okay? Let's go. I'm not finished. There you go. I'll just be out here. - I'm finished!|- Out you come then. You finished or not? Shouldn't you be able|to do this yourself? - Thanks, mate.|- Daddy! - Hey, tiger! Oh!|- Daddy! Now let me guess. Strawberry milk shake|and French fries. Yeah? Hi. Look at you. I'm wrecked.|Stuck in Melbourne for two hours. Did you get the roof fixed? - Cup of tea?|- No, thanks. I've got to look at some plans|before we go out. Out? Bit soon for Alzheimer's,|isn't it? Your birthday dinner, remember? Oh, and I haven't had a chance|to get you a present yet. Sorry. I am in the rhythm and fow|of ever-changing life. God! Does that thing still fit? Where's Harriet?|She's late. Isn't she? - Maybe she's not coming.|- Yes! Don't tell me|we haven't got a sitter. Well, Stacy seems|pretty mature for her age. And I think it's about time|we gave her more responsibility. I'm so sorry! Go! Hurry.|Don't worry about the kids. Hi, guys. Hi, Harriet. - Hey, we were getting worried.|- Sorry, Terri. - Baby-sitter.|- Fantastic! Your hair! Love it! Less housewifey. The party's nothing fancy.|I hope you weren't expecting-- Oh, this?|I just felt like wearing it. Brings back memories, hey? Cheers. - How's Otto?|- He's sleeping. Come and have a look. That's Otto? I know, but you spend a day|in hospital... and have your balls chopped off|and see how you feel. Poor darling.|But he was an animal. Pamela, happy birthday. Thanks. No, it's crap.|The Gold Coast is where-- Hey! Here's to the birthday girl! Whoa,|look at her. Doesn't she look great? Many happy returns there, Pammy. Geoffrey Ballodero! Come on. Can't a fella|have a little kiss once a year? - You going to have me up on date rape?|- Hey, you two! Can we have a cease-fire|for tonight, please? Happy birthday, Pam.|You look terrific. Thanks. - Come on.|-Janine! You're still friends|with Geoffrey Ballodero! I can't believe it.|He's exactly the same. Let's face it. You've never got|a good word for Geoff, so-- - People were meant to improve with age.|- I think that's wine. Do you ever wonder what would have|happened if we hadn't got married? - Where would you be now if I'd said no?|- Who knows? Maybe you would have married|Janine Lititski. Oh, give me a break! Janine? Geoff-and-Janine Janine? Let's do something. - Hmm?|- Let's go dancing. - Dancing?|- What about that place we used to go? - What place?|- You remember. The place with the view. On the way back to your fat|in Dempster Street. We'd sit in the car|and talk all night. Dempster Street?|What century are you in? Or we could just go down|by the harbor. Go for a walk and talk. Why? What do you want|to talk about? Oh, nothing. I just thought|it would be nice to catch up. - To what?|- Talk. At ten dollars an hour?|It's cheaper to talk at home. Oh, yes. Oh, come on, Pamela.|Haven't you ever heard of safe sex? Diaphragm. Yes! - ''I sat by the lake.''|- Lake. - ''I looked at the sky.''|- The sky. ''And as I looked--'' A fly came by. ''A fly went by.|He said, 'Oh, dear.' I saw him shake.|He shook with fear.'' Get off!. Douglas, move over! Give me some room!|What are you doing? I need space, too, see!|You're hogging! Oh! Douglas,|get out of the car! Douglas, you are disgusting! - Mum! Mum!|- Oh, pooh! Douglas, do you want to die? - '' Douglas, do you want to die?''|- Mum! Douglas, could you please|not do that? It's really offensive. - It wasn't me. It was Brandy.|- Douglas Dickson! Stop farting, or you'll be spending|the day with your grandmother! I mean it! - Good pass to Dickson.|- Dickson to Dickson! He's gonna spike that line!|Oh, look at the footwork! - Crunched him to the ground!|- Yes! - Ooh, he doesn't like it.|- Go, Dad! Hey, how about a game? Girls against guys. But you hate football. No, I don't! I used to go out|with a professional footballer. Oh, ages ago.|You know, before-- - Well, at school.|- You don't know how to kick. Here. Give Mum a go, Douglas.|We'll have a proper game later. Way to go, Pam! Oh, and Hentinghouse|is making another goal! Go, Mum! Go, Mum! Yes! - What's that?|- What? It's the feasibility study|for the Bouvier job. Will you be long? I've got a meeting first thing.|I thought the light didn't bother you. Oh, no, it doesn't. It's just I-- I-- I feel like reading myself. - What?|- You were asleep. No, I wasn't. What's the matter? Nothing. Nothing's the matter. It's just I-- Just what? Just that I've always loved you. Since forever. Where's your ring? I... lost it. - You lost it?|- No, I mean, I didn't lose it. I-- It fell off. I think I've lost weight. It's at the jeweler's being resized. - See ya!|- Thanks for waiting, dickhead! At what point is it exactly that|uou learn to do this yourself? Come on, mate. See ya. Have a nice day, dear. Bye, Rupert. {y:i}Heaven {y:i}I'm in heaven {y:i}And my heart beats so {y:i}That I can hardly speak {y:i}And I seem to find {y:i}The happiness I seek {y:i}When we're out together {y:i}Dancing cheek to cheek {y:i}Heaven {y:i}I'm in heaven Oh, my God, it's antique. What? ''You've had the whirlwind romance|and the fairy tale wedding... but what's a girl to do|when the honeymoon is over? Here are ten surefire ways|to keep the magic alive.'' Oh, my God. Hello? Hi, Deidre. Right now? I'm at home. 10:30? Deidre? Do you want to talk about it? I don't think so. Look, Pam, it's not like you to miss|an issue, so if you're having problems-- No, I'm-- I'm just not sure. If you could give me an idea. What's so hard?|The modern woman. Let me see. Now that guys change the sheets|and leave the toilet seat down... what do we really want? Romance. Femininity. You can do it on your head. We need this one fast, Pam,|or we'll miss the issue. Friday, okay? Jules, get meJoe Nathan. Oh, and, Pam-- Make sure you tie it in|with next season's looks. Jules will give you the pics.|Joe! Hi. - Harry.|- G'day, mate. Christ, some of the rubbish|this place puts out. Listen. ''You've had the whirlwind|romance and the fairy tale wedding... but what's a girl to do|when the honeymoon is over? Here are ten surefire ways|to keep the magic alive.'' Jesus, who writes this crap? I do. Good one, mate. Look, would you believe me|if I said I didn't mean-- Oh, no, you're right.|It is crap. You're a journalist? - Who do you write for?|{y:i}- Speed Weekly. Features mostly. {y:i}Speed-- The sports rag? Well, that's hardly|investigative journalism. I always do that. Look, I was just going|for a caffeine hit. I was wondering|if you'd like to-- I mean, if you've|got the time. I don't think so. I'm Ben, anyway. Ben Monroe.|I prefer it to ''that arrogant bastard.'' Pamela Dru-- ickson. Why sport? Didn't you want|to tackle the heavy stuff? I mean, if you're|gonna be a journalist... surely there are more important things|to write about... than this week's groin injury. What, like cosmetic surgery|or how to please your man? Actually, I enjoy it most of the time. Plus I get a lot of free travel, so-- Does your wife mind?|The traveling? Well, I'd suppose she'd mind|if I had one. Came close once. A long time ago. Another life. Sophie.|We were students together. I was gonna be a schoolteacher,|believe it or not. Anyway, we were crazy for each other|and nearly did the whole bit. - Marriage, kids, matching pajamas.|- What happened? She was hit by a car just before|graduation. Killed instantly. Oh, my God! I'm sorry. Yeah. Well, I went off the deep end... chucked teachers' college|and traveled the world. Just went in another direction. Do you ever wonder what your life|would be like if-- She was still alive? Only every day. There have been others,|but I guess you could say... that Sophie was the love of my life. Oh,Jesus. You're good at this. Good at what? Well, what are you gonna call it?|'' Men Who Talk Too Much''? Yes! My God, what's this? Nothing much.Just chicken Clementine|braised in a honey sauce... stuffed with tomatoes and capers... on a bed of mint rice|garnished with rosemary. I don't know what it'll be like. Did you cook this? Smells funny. It's edible. Oh, God, should we get that? Hello? Actually, I'm just|in the middle of work... and I'm really pushing|to make a deadline, so-- Yeah. No, that's fine. Yeah, okay, that'll be great.|Speak to you then. Bye. Who was that? Why didn't you just tell her|we were bonking? I need a giraffe. Hello? Ah, last night.|No, that's all right. I was just busy. Actually, now's not such a great time. I'm in the middle of a meeting. I'm not sure.|Look, could I get back to you? No, I don't. Speak to you then. Bye. I gave up years ago. - What'd you do with my spanner set?|- What spanner set? The one you gave me, dummy. I didn't do anything|with your spanner set. Well, where is it?|I need it. I don't know.|Have you looked in your room? It was on the foor under some stuff.|Must've moved it. I haven't touched your spanner set. - Bet you did, dumbhead.|- Oh, and, Douglas? What? My name's Pamela. Apparently,|you have the right to call me Mum. But if you ever address me as ''dummy,''|''dumbhead'' or ''stupid'' again... I guarantee you won't have any trouble|finding your spanner set. Got it? Stacy, do you think you could|turn that down a bit? - What are you doing?|- Stream of consciousness. - You like writing?|- It's okay. Stacy, can I ask you something? I don't smoke, I don't drink,|and I can't afford drugs. - What do you want out of life?|- What? What do you want to be|when you get older? Not this again! I don't know. I suppose whatever I want|when I get there. Do we have to panic yet? Do you feel like you could do anything? Sure. What about getting married?|Having children? Not if they're anything like Douglas. {y:i}- Get back!|{y:i}- What's the big idea? Busy? Bad day? We lost the town houses. We lost the town houses.|Nathan and Trennery won the tender. Sorry. Just let me save this. Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit! - How am I to work with this crap?|- Whoa, lighten up. Can't be that bad. You've got backup, haven't you? That's a whole day's work|down the drain. I've got to get a new computer. We'll see. I wasn't asking your permission, Rob. Frankly, I don't see why|we need a whole new computer... just because you forgot to back up. Anyway, that thing's good enough|for your purposes, isn't it? What's that supposed to mean? Nothing. I just don't understand why|You're getting so hysterical over it. Well, it is my work, isn't it? Yes, I know it is. Don't patronize me. I wasn't patronizing you. You don't take|my work seriously, do you? Oh, God, here we go. You never thought I was|as smart as you. - Come on. Don't be silly.|- Stupid, don't you mean? Christ, give it a rest, will you?|I haven't got the energy. - My God! You haven't changed.|- Should I have? Just out of interest, when was|the last time you changed the sheets? {y:i}And she's going to show me|{y:i}through the museum. {y:i}This'll be interesting. No drama. Mom just needs|some time to herself. - See ya.|- Can't you wait for your sister once? - Have you seen Stacy?|- No. Come on, mate. Are you getting up?|You're gonna be late. You should be pleased.|It means that you're becoming a woman. Really, most girls|would be thrilled about it. I think the whole thing sucks! Mom! I can't work out what's what! Well... this is like they've|cut you down the middle, and this is-- This is where it's suppose to go. It doesn't really help.|You just have to feel your way. Would you like me to-- Are you okay in there? I can't do it. It hurts. There's no hurry, honey. Why don't you just stick|to the pants this time? Surfboards. {y:i}- Urine output hasn't improved.|{y:i}- And her temperature's staying up. I'm just going down to the shops.|I won't be long, okay? Are you sure you'll be all right? Go! {y:i}The antibiotics should've had|{y:i}some effect by now. - Hi.|- Thought I'd been stood up. I can't stay long. Well, do you think you can manage|a cup of coffee? I've got a quick-boil kettle. Actually, I don't think|I should be here at all. You don't? I don't. Hungry? Starving. Great. Don't move. I hope you drink Spanish wine.|It's all I've got. - Will I change the top sheet as well?|- What? Yes, please. And they both fit in|the washing machine together? Do we have matching pillow slips? If I'm putting on the fowery sheets,|will the blue pillow slips do? Is it finished? Is what finished? The article. So the pressure's off? Because it's just that I've sort of|asked Geoff and Janine... over for dinner tomorrow night. How ''sort of'? Completely sort of. But nothing special, I said. That'll be all right, won't it? - Cheers.|- Good morning, Pamela. How are you? Could you get this up|to Diedre Reynolds, A.S.A.P.? Sure. No problem.|Can you pop her name on it? Flying visit, eh? Yes, it is, actually. You're good at that. Can we talk? Ben, I'm sorry about the other day. - Was it something I did or said?|- God, no. Then what? Tell me you're not interested|and I'll leave you alone. Oh, God. I don't know how to explain this.|I can't see you. - It's complicated.|- Is there someone else? Come on! Mum! - Mum?|- It's not what you think. What I think is that|You're somebody's mother. By the way you're behaving, married|to somebody's father. Am I warm? - I guess so.|- You guess so? - All right, yes.|- Is that all? Three kids, a mortgage, a dog,|two goldfish and a husband. But it's not really me.|I don't know how long it's gonna last. Is this how you tell your readers|to keep the magic alive? - I can explain.|- Can you? Listen-- Would you believe|I'm having a midlife crisis? What's this? What is it? Smells interesting. And try not to pick a fight|with Geoff, okay? At least not in the first five minutes. - Is it Janine?|- Is what Janine? Or Harriet, maybe. That makes sense. She's not nubile,|but she's nice and young. - What are you talking about?|- It is, isn't it? You're actually|fucking the baby-sitter. Of course I'm not!|Don't be ridiculous! Well, who is it then? - Can we talk about this later?|- I'd rather know now. Pam, believe me.|I'm telling you, there's no one. Oh, please. Give me a break. Is that what the little business trip|to Melbourne was all about? There's no other woman! I swear! Great, Pammy. I mean, it's very, very tasty.|Very good. Rob said you've been branching out|on the old cuisine lately. - What do you call this little creation?|- Risotto. It's very-- It's very interesting. - It's like Italian porridge, isn't it?|- Honey, don't. What? So, Geoff... I see you still chew|with your mouth open. - Need some help there, Pammy?|- No, thank you. Who are you trying to convince|in there, them or you? What? Look, I'm sorry, all right? I'm an old, disobedient dog. I just can't stand being apart.|I have to see you again. I'm going crazy.|I mean, this is torture. - What do you think you're doing?|- I can't stand it when we're apart. I think you better go back inside. Oh, my God.|I don't believe it. Geoff wielding a tea towel.|Wonders will never cease. How can I convince you?|What do I have to say? Nothing. Doesn't matter. What do you mean, it doesn't matter?|I'm not cheating on you. - What makes you think that I am?|- Nothing. I know you're not.|Just forget it. Can we, please? - Please forget it.|- Christ, Pam. Things were just starting|to work for us again. Look, I know I haven't been|the world's best husband... but I swear, I haven't-- with anybody. - For ages.|- You what? I swear. Not recently. You know that. Got another one of those? It's stale. Do you remember how much|we used to smoke when we first met? I think we even used to roll our own. There was always bits|of tobacco in the bed. Did we ever change|the sheets in those days? Robert, are we staying together|because of the children? - Is that what you think?|- Is there anything else left? I know we've run off the tracks,|but I'm trying. And lately I've been feeling that... there's hope. Something's changed, Pam.|You seem... different. Look, I don't know|what you want, but... I want it back. Our marriage. I want it back. I love you. I've always loved you. Good boy, Brandy. Down. It's done. What's done? I left Janine last night.|She took it pretty badly. She doesn't know about... you. - Get off, Geoffrey. Go home.|- Come on, Pammy. You got to come away with me. Come away?|Do you honestly think... that I would leave|this family for you? That I would ever choose you? Well, yeah. Hello? Hi, Deidre. Rewrite it? Yes, I know the brief, but listen,|the topic's just not that simple. You mean you want more|of the same moronic shit... that your crappy magazine|usually turns out. Perhaps you should do the rewrite|uourself. When it comes to moronic... You're a natural. Come on, Pammy. Sorry, Geoffrey,|but I never liked you. When's Mummy gonna be home? Surprise! It's not top of the range,|but it should be an improvement. Thanks. {y:i}- Where are we going?|{y:i}-Somewhere special. {y:i}- It's a surprise.|{y:i}- Dad, why is it such a secret? {y:i}- Come on, Dad!|{y:i}-All right, all right. {y:i}We're going back to your mother's|{y:i}and my old stamping ground. - La Fontana.|- Why can't we just go to Pizza Hut? What's so good about this place? For your information, you wouldn't|be here if it wasn't for this place. This is where I|proposed to your mother. Really? What did she say? - This is great, isn't it?|- Bet they don't do pan pizzas. Brings back memories. Do you remember|the last time we came here? - Gosh, seems like another life.|- Sure does. I was thinking.|What do you say we take... a decent break over Christmas and rent|the cottage down by the beach? - Yes!|- Eh? We haven't done that in years. Really? Can we?|Can I bring someone? Ooh, what's his name? Could be just what we need.|Time together away from everything. We could call it a second honeymoon. A what? Oh, my God. How embarrassing. - Go on, open it.|- Open it! Open it, dumbhe-- Mum. I know you're gonna think|this is a little corny, but-- Well, I was wondering if you'd-- - I mean, if we--|- Dad. You're supposed to get on your knees. Oh, hell. How about taking out an option|on another 13 years? Yuck! Do we have to go|to church and get dressed up? What do you say? Well? Photo, folks? Looks like|you've got something to celebrate. Great idea! Good. It works best if we keep|the couple together... and arrange the little ones|around them. Go behind Dad. That's it.|Off you go. - How about Nipper on Dad's knee?|- Right. Come on, Rupert. No, I need to go to the toilet. Sorry. Back in a minute. - Where the hell have you been?|- What did you say? Nothing, Rupert. What happened? Well? - I guess I had to find out.|- Find out what? What would have happened|if I had said no to Robert. Do you think I never wondered? What if I hadn't had children?|What it would feel like... to have my own time,|my own money, my own bed. What it would be like to sit down|and read a whole book... or a whole chapter or even a whole page|without being interrupted. To remember who I am... not '' Darling'' or '' Mummy''... or '' Dummy'' or '' Mum.'' Just me. Pamela. But what happened|between me and Robert? I know we've got to make some changes. I still love him,|if that's what you mean. Mummy! Daddy! Daddy! Mummy's back! She's back! May I? Yes. Where's Rupert? Rupert, come on. Next to Mum. Good boy! A big smile. {y:i}I sit here by myself|{y:i}and you know I love it {y:i}You know I don't want someone {y:i}To come pay a visit {y:i}I wanna be by myself {y:i}I came in this world alone {y:i}Me myself I {y:i}I want to go to China {y:i}And to see Japan {y:i}I'd like to sail the oceans {y:i}Before the seas run dry {y:i}I wanna go by myself {y:i}I've just room enough for one {y:i}Me myself I - Coming in for some cannelloni tonight?|- Not tonight. I'm cooking. Yeah, I know.|I shouldn't be here. Maybe I'm doing the wrong thing. I admit it was a mistake|bringing the kids on our first date. - Kids?|- And Molly throwing up on you-- - I see how it might have put you off.|- Thanks. Look, Ben, I don't expect you|to understand this... but whatever I've said... or done lately... I wasn't myself. Just tell me you're not interested|and I'll leave you alone. - What about Sophie?|- Sophie? - The love of your life.|- What? - Your wife.|- My ex-wife, you mean. Look, I know it's not simple. And I know you weren't looking|for an instant family. And the fact is,|I do have the kids half the time... but Molly hardly ever vomits,|I swear. Look, I'm sorry.|I haven't done this for a while. I just wanted to ask if you'd|give it another go. You know, do something sometime--|go dancing or shoot some pool. - Or I could cook dinner.|- Dinner? Obligation free. I guess not. Can they wipe their own bottoms? One of them can. The other one|can be a bit hit and miss. - Not that it bothers me.|- Don't worry. That's my job. So, is that a maybe? Yes, that's a maybe. That's my orange. Shit. |
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