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Miami Tail A 2003

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Yeah, y'all know what time it is.
Live from Miami, the city of sunshine,
nice beaches, and big, big, dreams.
Or it could be your biggest nightmare, depending on your point of view.
So you got a bunch of different kinds of Miamis,
depending on the cheese in your pocket, put you in those places.
You got Jamaican Miami, Cuban Miami, Haitian Miami,
parts of Miami you don't want to go to,
and we know Dade County's off the chain for sure,
with their own stories, problems, and all that.
There's a million crazy tales to tell in the M-I-A,
but as they say down here in "the bottom, "
a tale ain't nothing but some booty... a whole lot of booty.
Oh, baby! Oh!
Remember, Keenan, you said you'd pull out.
Don't worry, baby.
Keenan got it all taken...
Oh, shit!
Keenan! Do you see a sign hanging around my neck
that says "A free toaster with every new account"?
Do you see "Bank One" tattooed across my chest?
Then what are you doing making deposits for then, huh?
- Damn! - Baby, I'm sorry.
One child is enough.
Nike, I'm sorry, but the cookie was just too good.
Nigga, please.
Yeah, that's right, you know who it is, live on the mic...
the man with the plan, the nigga the FCC can't stand,
"Raylo and Dem Damn Dawgs. " Y'all know.
And now, I got some good news, and I got some bad news.
The bad news is there ain't no good news.
Look, check this out.
There is a shopping center, but it ain't coming our way.
They say it's lack of funds, but, Raylo wants to know, is it that?
If we didn't have all this banging going on,
I'd be able to get my shop on. Y'all know what time it is.
Good morning, Mama Africa.
- Hey, Mama Africa. - Hi, sweetheart.
- How you doing? - I'm alive, Ratia.
That means it's going to be a good day.
Give Mom a kiss, babe. I got to go.
- Hey, Mama Africa. - Hey, baby.
What are you doing here, you old drunk?
You trying to scare off the children?
Scare off the children? Ain't that a bitch?
Hold on now, you know drunks need love too. Don't act like that.
What you're in need of is some church. And a bath.
Did you say "Church's"? I could use the two-piece right now.
Not that type of church, man. She's talking about the one
with the preacher that do all the preaching.
Hell... when the reverend starts serving Old English 800,
shit, you gonna see us in the front pew, singing like birds.
# Jesus on my mind... #
Hold on, Cornbread. You know Jesus did turn water into wine.
That always was my favorite miracle...
taking tap water, making some good liquor.
Get out of here before I call the police.
Police? You know I got a warrant. Why you acting like that?
I know you gonna miss us. See how she's sweating me?
- Get, go on! - She ain't sweating you.
- Hey, Alicia girl! - Nike, what's up?
- Hey, "Pikachu. " - Hey, Auntie Alicia.
I know you ain't been investing that minimum wage in more Nike stuff again?
Girl, please. $7.50 an hour is hardly minimum wage.
And you knows I got to live up to my name.
I'd like to know what the hell's going on.
I'm just come out to have a good... -
- Those bad motherfuckers! - Get your ass off from around here.
Little-ass drug dealers, man. I hate them.
Ain't no goddamn drug dealers, man.
They can't wait to get to jail.
Bet they're running to jail right now. Little bad motherfuckers.
- Sit down and get your ass-whipping. - Man, shut up. Let's do this.
God damn, Red Bean. Wind up everywhere.
What's the matter? What's the matter, Red Bean?
That Craftmatic adjustable bed fold up on your ass?
Act like you can't get to moving this morning.
I got drunk as fuck last night and I passed out on my couch.
Ain't that a bitch?
No, man, the bitch is, I was so fucked up,
I don't remember how the hell I got there.
Ain't that a bitch? How the hell you got there?
Then again that beat the time I woke up drunk as hell, in the grass.
- In the grass? - I'm still trying to figure that out.
- There was dog shit... - Nigga, you always come home drunk.
You just a quart away from being a goddamn wino.
See, y'all don't understand me. I don't be drunk, I like to feel good.
See, y'all need to understand that most of the time
I don't even be drunk, I just be in-niber... inebr...
- You can't even get the shit out. - Nigga, I be tipsy. Forget you.
But last night, I ain't gonna front. I was drunker than a motherfucker.
Set up the pieces. Set up the pieces, man.
I'll beat your welfare-earning punk ass again.
Who the hell you think you are, Bobby Fisher? God damn.
You just set 'em up. I'll show you who the fuck I think I am.
- Shut the hell up. - Gonna beat the brakes off your ass.
You couldn't beat the brakes off me if you were Meineke.
- Like I always do. - Hey...
check this out. Here come the "first floor. "
- God damn! Ooh! - Look at them! Shit!
Watch this. Hey, baby.
Come sit on my lap. We'll talk about the first thing that pops up.
- That's gonna be a short conversation. - We could talk about Viagra.
Talk about Viagra, ain't that a bitch?
Hey, I get two checks. You could get the littlest one.
- Damn! - Some fine motherfuckers, boy.
- Play. - Let's take a move, man.
Oh, here are my two favorite hard-working sisters.
Well, give Mama Africa some love.
And you, Mr. Matthew.
What did you draw for Mama Africa today?
Oh, that's beautiful, darling. Why don't you go on inside?
I love you, baby. I'll see you later.
You need to get this boy of yours admiring something other than this.
- Well, Nike? - It's just a car.
It's not just a car, baby. It's what it represents.
- Oh, Mama. - Don't "Oh, Mama," me.
Unless you want him growing up to be Black Zeus' newest recruit,
I suggest you start showing him some other heroes.
- All right, Mama. - Now get to work, both of you.
Oh, and Alicia, I heard about your test scores.
That's my girl.
Thanks, Mama. I'm gonna try and get you those tickets to Dance Africa.
- See you, ladies. - Bye.
- My move. - Whose move is it?
She's right, Nike. When are you going to stop messing around with Keenan?
Girl, I know you ain't talking about my baby's daddy again.
Look around you. It's because of Black Zeus and Keenan
we can't even get a strip mall built around here.
Yeah, I hear you. But girl, let me tell you,
the way that Keenan works his mouth down there,
feels like that nigga's playing a trumpet between my legs.
Excuse me, ladies. Can I interest y'all
in some of this new F- U-C-K gear I got on sale today?
It's F- C-U-K, you idiot. Now get out of here.
Nobody about to buy no dresses you boosted from a truck.
That's cold, but I'll bet you I'm a businessman, though.
Bye. See, Alicia? Commerce is good in the hood.
Look, I'm serious.
If they can put a Starbucks in Harlem, why can't we?
You know we ain't gonna have no coffeehouse up in here
until we get rid of the crack house. What's up, y'all?
- My go. My move. - Who is it?
Hey y'all, watch this. Good morning, Cornbread.
- Good morning, Red Bean. - It is now, baby.
- Girl, it gets them every time. - That ain't right. That's bullshit.
Alicia, anybody tell you you look like Trina?
That's just some bullshit.
- It's my move. - Whose move is it?
Man, how the fuck...? Man you just cheated!
I'm Bobby Fischer, God damn it. Let's go.
- Nigga, you cheated. - I didn't cheat worth a goddamn.
Girl, you're crazy. And very married, I might add.
Oh, girl, the reverend don't mind.
Takes him closer to God, if you know what I mean.
- Did I hear you complaining again? - Girl, you know you did.
What is wrong with wanting somewhere nice?
You want somewhere nice? I got the 411 for you... move.
I'm serious. As long as Black Zeus,
Keenan and crew are running the streets,
ain't no one gonna open up stores here.
Hell, I'm lucky they didn't run me out of business.
But you do have to admit,
Black Zeus is one fine brother.
- Um-hmm. - He's a gangbanger.
I bet that ain't the only thing you wish he was banging.
I see the way you be looking at him sometimes.
Stop lying. Unlike yourself, I do have standards.
Yeah, whatever. Big black dick
is the only standard I'm concerned with at the moment.
- You crazy, girl. - Have a nice day, ladies.
- Girl, I'll call you later. - Bye.
# Shorty Click was attacking my friends #
# She was thick, black, Puerto Rican blend #
# Word of mouth, heard about me and my mens #
# And what we do up on the weekend... #
I don't know, girl. Babalucchi me tiene hasta el ultimo pelito.
But girl, you're not listening to me. You need to walk on him
- and... pisarlo con una cucaracha. - Exactly.
I want to see if Babalucchi's friends are gonna cook and clean for him.
- Uh-huh. - They're all the same.
Girl... todos son hijos de puta. All of them. All of them.
They never change. You need to wrap him around your finger,
and show him what he has.
Fuck you, Harold! I know you're fucking that bitch from around the corner.
How you gonna believe that chickenhead before you believe me?
Fucking chickenhead, huh? "Chickenhead"?
I ain't stupid, Harold. Just because I don't put out
doesn't mean you got to go around disrespecting me.
I'm proud to be a virgin. I'm gonna stay that way until I'm ready.
And if you can't respect that, why don't you go back to that slut?
Baby, I don't even like that girl.
Nigga, I saw you leave her house at 2:00 in the morning. 2:00 in the morning!
And we would love it if you would make a donation to the center.
Could I get a write-off on my taxes?
Yes, your donation will be tax deductible.
- I'll send that out ASAP. - Thank you, ma'am.
- Your money will be put to good use. - Who should I make this out to?
Make the check out to the Community Outreach Center.
- Okay. Thank you. - Thank you. Have a nice day.
Bye bye.
- How you doing, love? - Hey.
How you doing? Everything going good?
Listen, I need you to do me a big favor.
Calm down, we in public. Let me tell you,
this is what happened... I was fixing her cable TV.
Fixing her cable TV? Fuck you, Harold.
You get your lying ass the fuck away from me.
I don't want to see you no more. Stop fucking lying to me.
Girl, Paula is busy. She is dealing with pure drama.
- I need you to counsel this girl. - I've never counseled anybody before.
It's okay. This girl is 19 years old, half naked,
done slapped the shit out of her boyfriend out here.
She needs somebody close to her age to talk to.
Whatever you do, don't get close to her,
she might slap the shit out of you. Trust me. Hold on.
But... this is so crazy.
- This is Jesse. - Hey.
She's 19. This is her first day at the center.
Have fun... thank you.
Hi Jesse, I'm Alicia.
Are you having problems with your boyfriend?
He wants to have sex with me, but,
I'm just not ready for that yet.
I mean my sister had a baby when she was only 16.
I'm not trying to go through what she went through.
Girl, you don't have to do nothing you don't want to do.
If he wants you bad enough, he'll wait.
Yeah. You're right.
You better make this fucking shot, I'm telling you.
Take the fucking shot. Oh, that's bullshit, that's bullshit.
Let's go, let's go.
Yo, I got this real freak.
- She got the ESP going on, man. - ESP?
Yeah, you know, "extra-sensory pussy"?
Yeah, we all got at the house, I'm hitting it from the back,
I'm smacking her on her ass, and she's moaning
and she's going to stop doing what she's doing,
and tell me, "I want to lick your ass. "
Lick your ass?
I know, and I just left KFC, man.
I got the three-piece chicken dinner,
with the beans, the coleslaw, all that. And she down there licking.
I'm like, "Damn, is you a freaky bitch or what?"
She said, "No, I want to lick your ass. "
So she's down there licking, and then...
- and then... and then... - And then what, motherfucker?
I farted.
I farted, man. I mean, all the beans all on her titties,
coleslaw on her forehead and shit.
She's loving it too, rubbing all the mashed potatoes and shit.
- It's just nasty as hell, man. - Nasty bitch.
Black Zeus! Black Zeus!
Black Zeus! Babalucchi and his boys are running ball at the park.
Babalucchi? At our park?
I guess Black Zeus is gonna have to come down
from Mount-motherfucking-Olympus
and strike his spic ass down with this.
You better make this fucking shot, I'm telling you.
Take that fucking shot. That's bullshit.
I can't wait to see this motherfucker, dawg.
I told him to stay off our park.
I can't believe this motherfucker came over here, man. Shit!
Wait 'till we see his ass. We're fixing to do this nigga now, dawg.
I'm sick of this shit. It's got to come to an end right now.
So what are you going to do about Babalucchi?
Girl, I have no clue. I have no idea.
Anyways... they're all come mierdas.
They're all the same shit.
- True or not true? - True.
That's what I thought.
They think I ain't handling my shit. Seeing Babalucchi playing ball
like it's all good, like it's "Happy Days" and shit.
You try and give a nigga a little break, and you see what they do?
That's why you can't be nice to motherfuckers.
They're around here asking me why I'm such an asshole.
Fuck them, you know what I'm saying? Fuck them.
Here we go, right here, dawg. You see them motherfuckers there, dawg?
Fuck! How'd you miss that shit?
It's on. Let's go.
Oh, my God.
Check it out. Looks like that bitch Alicia's about to get hit.
What the hell you doing in the middle of the motherfucking street?
- Get out of it before you get hurt. - Are you out of your mind?
- Are you disrespecting me? - She's disrespecting you, dawg.
Shut up before I slap the taste out your mouth, boy.
- You ain't gonna do shit. - Whatever. Bring it then.
Bring it. Bet you won't bring it.
Look, look. No harm done this time. I forgive you.
What? You forgive me? You've got a lot of fucking nerve.
- Look, don't get crazy. - Crazy?
I'll show your motherfucking ass crazy, Cal.
- Is that...? - Hm-mm.
- Smudgeproof. - Oh, I can't look at this.
- Bitch, you must be on medication. - Medication?
No, I can't afford that. Just crazy, remember?
So what you gonna do? Just shoot me right here?
- Look, you better chill. - No, you better chill.
People around here is sick of your shit.
- Leave us alone. - What the fuck?
You heard the boy. Leave her alone.
Yeah, looks like you got other problems, Cal.
Look, girl, this ain't over.
Get the fuck out of here.
It'll never be over. Y'all bitches is crazy!
Y'all bitches... ow!
- You heavy-footed bitch! - Nobody's scared of you.
- Bitch, I'll kill you! - Get in.
When are you gonna stop the violence, Alicia Strada?
I'm gonna beat all y'all's ass... you, and that shower cap.
Why don't you get a restraining order, man?
- You don't know who I am! - Get in.
Y'all going down, now. Now!
Take our shit back to the house. Bitch!
Oh! Oh-hh! Stupid son of a bitch!
How could somebody raise something like that?
- Hey girl... - What?
It's okay, it's okay. I just came by to see how you was doing.
I heard what happened over at the park.
Just came by to see if you were all right.
I'm fine. I'm just mad.
I can't believe I couldn't even do anything about what happened today.
But you did do something. I mean, you stood up,
and that's more than most people were willing to do.
But it didn't make a difference. Cal is still an asshole.
We could have all been killed today and nobody would have cared.
I used to think the same thing.
Then I realized that I was sitting around waiting for change,
instead of being a part of change.
I mean, that's why I started the community center.
Because I was so sick and tired of the bullshit.
I realized that I was contributing to the bullshit
by complaining and not doing.
So how did you know what to do?
I didn't.
In life there's no blueprint, remember?
I just followed my instincts, and I followed through.
And that's what you got to do. You got to follow your instincts.
You got to do you.
# Every knee shall bow #
# Every tongue must confess #
# Show me, Lord, stand my test #
# Help me, Lord #
# To do my best... #
Man, this park is so damn dirty.
Used to be so much cleaner
before Black Zeus and his crew came around.
You ain't still thinking about what happened earlier?
It's over. Just be thankful nobody was hurt.
I know, but still, the man damn near ran Matthew over.
He's gonna tell me to get the fuck out of his way?
He was an idiot, plain and simple.
Girl, there's so many out there. I mean...
Girl, speaking of which,
look who is pulling up.
Old tired self.
Didn't even wash his window.
Black Zeus, what are you doing here?
- I came to see Alicia. - And what the hell do you want?
I see I didn't have to worry about you.
You're as fine as ever.
What's this, a peace offering?
Peace, peace is good. I like peace.
Wish I had a piece right now.
That's a flower. Damn girl, ain't nobody ever give you flowers before?
Of course I've received flowers before.
I'm a grown-ass woman, what you think?
Yeah, you grown, you a grown woman.
- Just say, "Thank you. " - You want me to thank you?
I wouldn't thank you if you brought a whole rose garden up in here.
You like pushing me, huh?
Look, just stay out of the way, all right?
I don't want to have to bury your ass.
But I will if I have to...
no matter how fine you are.
They'll be digging your grave way before they'll be digging mine.
You can be sure of that.
Whatever, Alicia. Take care.
Get lost, Cal. Clean that damn window.
Damn, Alicia! What you trying to do, start World War llI up in here?
I don't know, girl.
It actually looked like he was trying to push up on you just then.
Ain't it funny, though? When it comes
to some behind, a man has no limits.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
But I'm gonna do something about this neighborhood,
and I'm gonna do something real soon.
Motherfucker, you hit me for real!
Oh, damn!
Yo, handle that shit there, man.
Damn, Papa! You got knocked on your ass, man!
Whew, I am so...
Hey, Cornbread, check it out.
Ooh, I see you young things switching and swatching,
'cause you know Cornbread and Red Bean is watching.
Hold on girl. I'll lick you so good, make you come so hard,
you'll get yourself pregnant, you hear me?
Be your own "baby daddy" fucking with me, girl.
Sexy motherfucker.
Sexy... aw, baby. How you doing, baby?
God damn. Boy, that's just too much ass for me.
- What? - Too much ass in one pair of jeans.
I'll bet you, if that big ol' bitch farted Monday,
shit won't blow out her ass until Friday. That's a big bitch.
See, player, you misguided, man.
Misguided, my ass.
All you want is them skinny and fine bitches all the damn time.
No, but you miss the blessing which is the big girl, man.
Because it's all that. They got jobs, and they'll buy you shit.
You can do shit with a big girl like drop her off,
keep her car all damn day, and pick her up when you get ready.
Big girls are all that. They're freaky, man.
I had this one girl, big bitch suck my dick so good,
she was sucking like she was drowning and my nuts had oxygen.
It's passion.
You just can't let 'em get on top, though.
I'm for real, 'cause they get carried away,
be like throwing the shit, and my back get all tender.
I'm like, "God damn, hold on! Perch yourself here.
- This ain't... all this... - Red Bean, you're stupid.
That's why I walk like that. Fucking around with big girls.
- Look at these jeans. - I love Jesus.
God damn! Praise the Lord. Some fine piece...
Damn! You see the thong on that motherfucker in the back?
- Did I see the thong? - That shit's beautiful, nigga.
It looks like one of those strings tied around a rump roast.
As long as they got rump like that, I'll always have me something to eat.
You know how sore my neck, my back?
I'll do three out of four, but I ain't gonna lick no damn neck. I'm sorry.
There'll be dirt all on the neck, I got high blood pressure,
can't lick all that damn salt.
- That's a shame. - What? What?
30 years old, two heart conditions,
I'd advise you not to eat all that, boo-boo.
Look, "Miss Monistat-7,"
don't be worrying about what I'm putting in my mouth, okay?
As a matter of fact, I don't need your shit.
Keep your shit. I'll walk with my own, all right?
Hot damn! I have never seen such a fine selection of beauties.
Who wants some Red Beans on your rice?
Don't come in here with that mess, you old kook.
Damn, it looks like a "Soul Train" audition up in here.
- Get out. - Why you acting like that?
I just want something to eat. I'll eat...
I will suck your toenail polish off.
No men, especially drunk, stinking ones. And zip up your pants.
Men! What are we going to do with them?
That's the question, ladies. What are we going to do with our men?
I don't know about you, but I fuck mine every Monday and Thursday.
- Fools. - Fools?
- Who are you calling fools? - You, me, everybody.
We're all fools. We're fools for our men.
I'm not trying to hear that, okay? Somebody get this bitch a "roofie. "
She's on Prozac.
God, don't you see it?
We give them so much of ourselves. And for what?
So they can abuse us and betray our trust.
Alicia, what are you talking about?
I'm talking about the world we leave for our children.
- Or should I say, this mess? - Oh, girl. Lighten up.
This one has a near-death experience,
and all of a sudden, she's Al Sharpton.
No, my eyes are just open.
Ratia, you have a beautiful son. Where do you see him?
What you talking about, Alicia?
What are you hopes, your dreams? What would he be?
A doctor, a lawyer, a freaking Indian chief, what?
I don't know. I want him to be a baller like his daddy,
make a lot of money and make his mama proud.
Well, then, more than likely, he'll be dead before he's 16.
That's the reality of it, Nike.
He doesn't really have a daddy, and he won't grow up.
She's his "daddy-mama" rolled into one.
When are we gonna realize this doesn't work?
You know by the time that baby's walking and talking,
his daddy'll be missing in action. And then what?
It's to the streets and fellas like Black Zeus and Keenan.
I know you ain't talking about my man.
Nike, listen to yourself.
Do you really want Matthew to follow in his footsteps?
To see him riding shotgun for some hoodlum?
Of course not.
Well, that's all he'll learn from Keenan.
He'll either lose his life, or take someone else's... maybe his.
Okay, Alicia. What's the point of all of this?
We got to save our men from themselves.
And how do you expect we do that?
She's on Prozac. This bitch need a hug.
Ladies, ladies, there's only one way
to stop the drugs, violence and destruction...
through total and complete abstinence from sex.
I told you that bitch needs a hug.
Let me get this straight. No sex?
No sex.
Oh, my Lord. This girl done lost her mind.
I don't know about you, girlfriend, but I need a tune-up every night.
Okay? Or at least once a week, come on.
I think she's right.
She's right. Women hold the morality of the people.
And centuries ago, women had that power,
a power that was stolen from them by the men.
But I see now, my sisters. We have no choice but to take it back.
You all know she's right.
At least let us smell it, Alicia.
Okay, okay, so how do we...
I can't even say it.
No matter how hard their wankers get,
no matter how hard they beg and plead, we stand firm.
Okay, well, how do we... satisfy ourselves?
I mean, I ain't no "vagiterian" girl, if you know what I mean.
And, if we don't have sex with our men, they'll just get it from somewhere else.
Not if we stick together like sisters.
We'll remain true to ourselves and each other.
- No sex! - No sex!
No sex.
- Is this the only way? - Nike...!
Okay, okay. No sex.
Tomorrow ladies, we hit 'em right where it hurts.
We take back the streets, starting with the court.
Okay, now I know you're crazy. We cannot take the court.
We can and we will. Now, repeat after me:
"I will not sleep with my man. "
"I will not sleep with my sister's man. "
"I will not sleep with my sister's man. "
Tsk... "I will not sleep with my sister's man. "
"I will not sleep with my sister's man. "
"I will not sleep with my sister's man. "
- Honey...? - Yes, babe?
Do you think I could have a massage?
Oh! Oh Lord.
Take me back to the garden, baby.
What you want, baby?
You say that you don't, you don't need me
But sooner or later, you will see
The way that you do the things you do
Will come to you but not through me
And they'll be no need for us to talk
I'll be on my way so far apart
From all of the pain you put me through
And there'll be no one to comfort you
And there'll be no need to make me cry
And there'll be no need for you to wave goodbye
And there'll be no need to keep me warm
And there'll be no need 'cause I'll be gone
And there'll be no need I will survive
And there'll be no need for you to make me cry
And there'll be no need for you to explain
And there'll be no need for who's to blame.
What the hell, man?
Natty, what the hell is wrong with you?
I don't see how y'all can be playing ball in all this filth.
Why don't you move?
You loud-talking me in front of my goddamn people.
- I don't play that shit! - I'm taking back what's mine.
What's yours? This shit ain't yours.
The hell it ain't. I paid for this with my tax dollars.
Why don't you get a job and pay for something?
Yo, check it. Looks like these bitch-ass niggas
don't know how to handle their ho's. What's the deal?
Y'all look like the "Harlem Fooltrotters" over there.
Get a job?
I just got a brand new job... kicking your ass.
Raise the fuck up on out of here, natty.
Get your broom, the baddest bitch, get the fuck on out of here.
Y'all ain't shit without that damn broom.
You think that's funny? All of y'all need to get a job
and get the hell up out of here.
Yo, what the what? Your bitches handle y'all.
Alicia, Alicia, this ain't the time. Step off, all right?
- No, now is the perfect time. - Perfect time for what?
It's over.
What's this supposed to be, "The 100 Ho March"?
Look, I'm here to inform you, that we, your sisters and lovers,
- are putting down the law. - What the fuck are you talking about?
We're flipping the script on your ass. We're taking back the street,
- the court, and yes, even the park. - Is you stupid?
Yes, for letting you turn this neighborhood into a hellhole.
- But not anymore. - Look, get out of here.
- You can't move me. - Alicia...!
This the deal. We will no longer lay down and be your concubines,
your bitches, ho's and tricks.
- My concu... what? - Concubines!
"No peace" means "no piece. "
No cootchie, no chocha, no cookie, no nookie, no mas,
until you and your dawgs lay down the guns once and for all.
It can't go down like that.
You must be out your motherfucking mind.
Try me.
Fine, have it your way.
Get them out of here.
Damn! Now I know everybody's heard
what my girl Alicia has done and went.
She's taken on the man herself.
Alicia, I already know you know what time it is,
so Zeus, you fixing to do some hard time, dawg.
We ain't talking about prison or jail, we talking about you ain't getting shit.
Hard time. You're fixing to be on hard for a long time.
So Alicia, this one goes out to you and your dolls.
Keep riding out "fo' sho," baby.
Hey, yo, my cousin JB threw this jam upstate
Water rides, go-carts, the show it starts at 8:00
Now, had it jumping man, this shit was straight
Double shot with my pop, it's time to cop a date
Yo, barbeque, jumping off like we want it to
'Cause we always bring new kicks and I'm blunted, ooh
Seen this chick that I gots to have
Stands around five feet with a lots to grab
Now, how do you do? Where you headed to?
To get a drink? Let me get that instead of you
Baby girl looking like she hold cheddar, too
Shit, get up on my game, that's what I better do
Think I ain't gonna bag that?
Well, give me a minute, I better have that, yeah
So what you trying to say?
I'm gonna show your pretty ass all around my way
So if you hear me, get your hands high
We gonna keep it rocking till the daylight, let's go, come on
I think I know what she's doing 'cause the way that she's moving
Got a nigga like, ooh!
So if you hear me, get your hands high
I want to see you sweating before the song dies
Come on, see, we got it popping like so
And you like how we drop it, like, oh!
Hey, yo, shorty said she's into romancing
Well, look at me here, I'm dancing, I'm dancing
Got money in my pocket, now I'm good
This is the way your nigga ride, green up inside the 'hood
Exchange numbers from each other's cell
Not only trees, we enjoying each other's smells
The DJ played the song that we like
Gave me a sneak peek, it's on later on tonight
We danced in the backyard like no one's around
The niggas splitting and we getting down
I like the way you sound
My brother Jay Raff came with Jeff Starr and gave me a pound
That's what's up Moet in a cup
Hey, yo, shorty started doing the butt
Me and shorty started doing the butt
Doing, doing, doing the butt, butt
So if you hear me, get your hands high
We gonna keep it rocking till the daylight, let's go, come on
I think I know what she's doing because the way that she's moving
Got a nigga like, ooh!
So if you hear me, get your hands high
I want to see you sweating before the song dies
Come on, see, we gonna pop it like so
And I like how she drop it, like oh!
Let me tell you about this bullshit going on.
These men deserve this "pussy probation" they're receiving.
They don't need to be sleeping with us.
They don't have respect for us. I'm sick and tired...
That's your fucking imagination. You know what?
You ain't good for shit. You're trying to make a power move,
like you a fucking politician?
How about this, motherfucker? You can kiss my ass.
Don't bring that shit up. You ain't even coming with it.
These men don't know how to respect us ladies, understand?
They're disrespecting us, calling us bitches and ho's,
then they expect us to give 'em some? Uh-uh.
We're going to put them on pussy probation.
These girls right here, they can't hold off that long.
Because y'all know you want this.
What the hell do we want from you?
What the hell do we want from you?
No "milk and cookies" for them until they learn to respect us women.
Y'all out there in the damn park
keeping us from having sex. What kind of shit is that?
Bitch, you know you want the deed. Quit playing and come back to the house.
Bitch, I'll kill you.
When you use other assets, like your brain,
and not your titties and your ass, I'll give you some respect.
That's some real fucked-up shit. We give them the respect they need,
they need to give us respect we need. Treat us like the queens we are.
I don't know who you think you are, thinking you run shit.
You don't run shit around here, you don't deserve this pussy,
you siditty-ass nigga. You need to respect us.
- This a bunch of bubblegum bullshit. - You're the bullshit!
You're probably the biggest ho in the fucking hood, you fucking bitch.
You think you're the man? Let me tell you, honey,
- you are the minute man. - Y'all on our team or what?
You want some of this? You're not getting any of this.
Respect us and you will get the pussy that you deserve.
Man, this don't make no sense.
Alicia got us out here, and it's cold as hell,
hanging up curtains. She already made us give up sex.
It's a bigger purpose to all this. Oh, this is not working.
What are you doing here, you old baboon?
Just trying to find out what's going on. It's awfully quiet over here.
Looks like a party in here to me. Hey, let's party with y'all. Come on.
- Zip up your pants. - Sorry, Mama Africa. Damn.
You ain't got to worry about that, Mama Africa.
What can't get up, can't come out.
Aren't you guys cold? It's cold out here.
You know they got heat in the hall.
- What hall? - Alcohol.
Once you have a couple drinks... where are y'all going?
This ain't right what y'all doing.
I've been reduced to putting lotion in the microwave.
Okay, I'll change. I'll do better. I'm sorry.
Damn. It's raining?
Can we go home?
Are you kidding? Nike, we just started.
I know. Thought I'd ask.
What the hell...?
What are the police doing here?
Are you the ringleader of this here?
If this means stopping the gang violence in the community, then I am.
Well, you and the sisters are going to have to break this up.
You're on municipal property.
What is he talking about?
- Did I say something to amuse you? - Well, Officer,
since the city has done a wonderful job of keeping up this place...
Look, I'm not here to debate you, all right?
You and your friends have 24 hours to vacate the park.
Oh no, Officer, we won't do that.
- I don't think you understood me. - Oh, I understood you.
See if you understand this...
until the gang violence stops, we ain't going nowhere.
Look, get your black asses out before we get in and do it for you, okay?
- Who do you think you're talking to? - Damn it, Stacy.
These women are trying to improve their community.
You better respect them.
Shit. Listen, just go to the radio and get backup.
You know what? Um-um. My place is here.
Tell the captain to do what he's got to do.
All right. And I'll do what I got to do, okay?
Man, how long they say this protest bullshit gonna last?
'Till Zeus done stopped that bullshit, man.
Damn, man. We ain't gonna never see no booty.
Niggas crazy as fuck.
How the fuck motherfuckers gonna protest
with no fucking?
You protest no working. This is unconstitutional.
Somebody needs to talk to them bitches. They's tripping.
Fucking up my day. Don't make no damn sense.
You better put that out before Stephanie flips a script on your ass, boy.
Nigga, fuck that bitch, man.
I remember that ho got her GED, now she thinks she's all that.
That bitch crazy. I used to date that bitch, a long time ago.
You know your ass ain't never dated no fine-ass Stephanie, man.
Yes I did, too. Like Bobby and Whitney...
Ike and Tina Turner 'round this motherfucker.
Look, you ain't got to lie to be my friend, man.
But I had to let her go, had to let her go, man.
Why'd you let her go?
She was holding me back. Wanted to hold the 'Bread back.
What, the bitch wanted you to work or some shit?
I ain't working nowhere in America, Red Bean.
I don't blame you. We don't need no job, man.
Man, you know, it was right here I had smoked my first joint?
Nigga, I had to be five years old.
Hey, hey, hey.
What's up Stephanie? How you doing, baby?
Listen, y'all know y'all do what y'all do,
I don't complain about what y'all do,
but please, y'all cannot get high and drink
on the community center grounds, man.
Let me tell y'all something. This is a community center for the kids.
I'm trying to develop kids into something beautiful... positive images.
You got a lighter on you, Stephanie?
I'm trying to be a positive image in the community.
Believe it or not, these kids look up to y'all as role...
Can you put that in a booklet?
These kids look up to y'all as role models.
Everybody'll do what they do, but y'all don't have to do...
Why does your girl keep yappity-yapping at us?
Direct the center. You can't direct every damn thing.
Quit trying to "Oprah Winfrey" us to death. Damn, I'm trying to get high.
Let me tell y'all two stupid motherfuckers something.
First of all, y'all out here looking dustier than Afghanistan.
Y'all don't know a motherfucking thing about me.
I will kick both your asses clean. No, I don't want to hear shit.
Don't go raising your funky-ass arms, my God, please.
Take your asses somewhere else. Don't fuck with me.
Take your shit and go somewhere else. We don't do that around here,
this is a community center for the kids.
Y'all don't need to be smoking this shit around here.
And you got one more time to tell somebody we fucked,
and you're gonna see me personally.
She still like me. She like me.
She didn't talk shit to me like she talked to you.
I ain't played that back in the day, I can tell she still like me.
Man, fuck that shit. She took my last good joint.
You let her take your shit.
Realities can't wait
Save me from a big mistake
'Cause when you push and pull me I just let it go
And all the while you're acting like you didn't know
And you and I both know it ain't your destiny
And you ain't trying to hear me and you wouldn't see
Reality, Jack, is what you're gonna get
I think you better bounce for reality...
Good afternoon, officers.
I'm back... and I brought some friends of my own.
Really? Well I have some new friends myself.
I believe you all know each other?
- Lauren? - Hi, Bobby.
What do you think you're doing here?
Seems like your wives and girlfriends,
have become sympathetic to the cause.
Came for coffee, decided to stay.
And of course, you all know Officer Stacy
who decided to stop by and pick up this permit for us.
- Do your own damn laundry. - Bye bye.
Girl. Will you look at this?
"The top 10 black men and women relationship taboos. "
Okay. Go for it.
"Taboo 1: Don't hide your STDs. "
I might be old, but that sounds like sound advice to me.
"Taboo 2: Don't lie about how many
"baby mamas" and "baby daddies" you got. "
Okay, yes. Niggas is always lying. Always.
Girl, "Taboo 3: Don't beat your mate.
- See, that sounds like good advice. - Wait, wait, unless he deserves it.
Okay, that works.
- Nike, this is for you, girl. - Okay, what is it?
"If you say you're on birth control,
don't try to start no family behind your man's back.
Hold on, now you know you wrong for that.
Yeah, but she's in the ballpark, ain't she?
Look, y'all... take a look at this. We made the front page.
We are all the rage, girl.
I've got rage, all right. How long we got to keep this up?
Girl, we have to think about the greater good.
Like killing Julius-fucking-Caesar, right? Look how well that turned out.
- Watch your mouth. - What's the problem?
The problem is right here between my legs.
Tell her again. I once read an article that you can get your virginity back.
- I never heard that before. - Me neither. So you mean to tell me
if I don't have sex, I become a flipping virgin again?
Hmm... you know I don't want that.
I couldn't wait to get rid of it in the first place.
- Use it or lose it, huh, boo-boo? - Um-hm. Now you know.
- You need to behave yourselves. - Please.
Alicia... girl, look at that.
The M-I-A.
We are gathering information even as this story is breaking.
But let me tell you this now, these women have shown great courage.
- They have... - Caused a stir in their community.
Where exactly is this protest leading?
What exactly are these women holding out for?
This reporter intends to find out if...
This is long overdue. I'm tired of these niggas
and this bullshit. They need to get it together.
I'm sick of these men thinking they run the world.
They don't run the world. All they do is run their goddamn mouth.
Y'all men say y'all the head of household, and always in control?
Obviously the women are in control right now.
Dick denial? Oh, hell no. Not me, honey.
I can't do without it. I don't see how they can stand it.
That's some will power for your ass.
Men are full of shit, yo. I don't need 'em,
my girls don't need 'em,
and all of you can go to hell.
This is a man's world.
That girl Alicia is rude, and completely vulgar.
They need to stop this madness, because it is not a woman's place to...
...sit around and do nothing?
Women hold the morality of the people.
So if the world's not ready for this, then it better get ready.
These women out here on this basketball court,
in a tent? You know it's serious.
Guess what, it's us women that rule the fucking world.
It's us. We are the ones in charge.
We are the ones that say, "Jump," and you say, "How high?"
If you just act right and cherish us,
and stop acting like we're a piece of property,
you'd get it on the regular. You wouldn't have to ask.
I was one of the first ones out there with Alicia,
I respect what she's trying to do, get the men to act right,
that's cool and all, but not everything is for everyone,
and a sister like me... I got to get mine.
Baby, it's time to go. It's been two weeks.
I'm missing you. You need to come back home.
These girls have shown that you can make a change
if you really want to. I'm Nicole Sea, and I'm out.
Girl, you know I'd die for you...
Will somebody turn that damn radio off?
Boy, what the hell is you doing?
Scratching. What the hell it look like I'm doing?
Come on, man. I wasn't...
Man, I did the same thing last night.
I sure miss Nike. Um-um-um.
I think I went through every single "Players" magazine, "Essence,"
and I'm stuck in the middle of "Jet," now.
Last night I was playing "Madden," the cheerleaders started looking good.
Yeah? Man, I was watching "Good Times" last night...
man, I forgot how phat Thelma's ass looked.
Hell, yeah.
I mean I can't go without it.
Can't you do something for us, Reverend?
Boy, I'm not God.
I'm just a man of the cloth.
And with my wife gone,
I'm a man of the Kleenex,
towel... Handi-Wipe...
whatever I can put my hands on.
I got it! We need to date white girls.
Man, shut up!
You think they miss us like we miss them?
Of course they miss us.
Yeah, who this?
Yo, Zeus, muchacho. How's it hanging?
Oh, my bad. I know the answer to that already.
Yeah, let me see you come over and say that shit to my face.
See the difference between me and you muchacho, is I'm getting laid.
'Cause our men? We know how to handle our women.
- You won't see that happening to us. - Fucking pendejo!
Yo, fuck you, Babalucchi.
Zeus, you sound uptight. You need to chill with...
I don't know, a lady... oh, my bad, I forgot you don't have one.
If I see your ass, Babalucchi...
My ass? Now you want to see my ass? You switched teams, muchacho.
You're cute with that fine brown skin of yours,
but I got to let you know, I don't get down like that.
Yo, fuck you, Babalucchi.
Hey, papi? What, you into guys, or something?
- Get the fuck out of here with that. - Come on, man.
We gonna get our women back.
I got a plan.
"Victor the Vibrator" is your best friend.
Well, let him be my best friend. I deserve respect.
You bitches are crazy.
If you don't give your man pussy, he's getting it outside.
Excuse me? They're not getting any milk or cookies,
until they learn to respect us women. Pussy is not free.
Girl, I don't care. All I want is some dick, okay?
All you need is a jelly vibrator, under the bed, two double-A batteries.
You know what? That "little friend" that you gave me,
that shit don't be working, that shit be running out of batteries.
- Running out of batteries? - Someone's been using it.
- Well, I got my dick last night. - You can go get your dick,
have your man disrespecting you, calling you "bitches" and "ho's. "
We ain't with that shit. You may be the ho
and give him the pussy if he don't respect you.
- How long are we going to do this? - Until they learn to respect us.
You know what? My man be satisfying me.
He be licking it, he be working it, and that's it, that all I need, okay?
Is that your sense of foreplay? Licking it and sticking it?
That's enough for me, and that satisfies me, all right?
...if I don't give my man pussy, he's gonna be walking outside...
Then, he can go pick up some other girl.
He needs to learn to respect us.
- Pick up some diseases too. - You understand what I'm saying?
Please, "I need some dick. " You need some respect for yourself.
All he's gonna do is slap your ass and send you on your way.
You think that's enough respect for you?
- That's what I like, okay? - You like to be treated like shit?
Oye, Babalucchi, are you fucking high again?
Get your ass up and get dressed. This place is a fucking mess.
Relax, Babalucchi.
Your "Superwoman" has something special for you.
Bitch, what the fuck is you doing?
I just want to make it... special for you, baby.
Fuck that, go there, mama.
Been waiting all this time, what's the deal?
Lucchi Junior's been asking for you.
Oh, for sure, damn.
It's all good.
It's so good.
Oh, for sure, ma, that's off the "heezzee. "
On second thought...
What the fuck is you doing? Yo, ma, get the fuck over here.
Lourdes, I ain't playing with you, ma.
I'm sorry, boo. Come on, I'm fucking with you.
You know a nigga got love for you. Come on, ma.
Mira, papi. When you think you're ready
to show me you deserve this, you let me know.
Until then, you better keep jacking off to those magazines
you've been hiding in the closet.
Let's get you over the fence.
Oh, come on. What the fuck is this?
Some bullshit, ladies.
Oh, so y'all just gonna hold out on the fellas?
That's just what the fuck y'all gonna do, huh?
Y'all could have at least went and got a restraining order.
First y'all lock a bitch out,
now y'all walking around in circles like y'all playing "Duck-duck-goose"?
Huh? Is that what the fuck's the world come to?
Y'all know it's gonna be more crime.
This ain't gonna do nothing but make more crime, ladies.
Suck a dick and save a life.
I'll even sing a song to y'all.
Suck a dick, save a life
Just suck it right
Put it in your goddamn mouth...!
They was hitting me, man.
They was hitting me man, the motherfuckers.
Trying to get 'em to suck a dick and save a life.
Strike one!
How you doing, baby?
Listen, we got to talk for a minute...
Not this time, baby. Turn the two-way off...
- What is it, baby? You okay? - Woman, you come out here.
- I can't do that, baby. - Monique, you come home now.
- I can't do that, honey. - Now, you are breaking the law.
- No, we took care of that earlier. - God's law!
What are you talking about?
- Oh. Well... - "Oh, yeah!"
You know it. The Bible says
that a woman has got to obey her husband's commands.
Now, I command you
to come home.
I command all of you women to go home.
Whoo, child! Command us to go home.
Whatever. You go home. Who does he think he's talking to?
Can I see you on a Monday?
On a Tuesday?
- What about Wednesday? - Baby, baby
I know you're busy but I miss you...
Strike two!
I cry for you
Girl, you know I'd die for you...
Ready? Present flowers!
- I missed you too, baby. - Aw-w!
Baby, they treating you all right in there?
You getting your commissary?
How much time they gave you?
Baby, I'm gonna get you out of here.
I'm thinking about pawning the broom.
I know, that's the only broom we got. I'll get it back.
Monique? Girl, you got to come out of here.
- I miss you. - I miss you too.
I don't know how much longer I can be strong, baby.
I'm a Christian, but I need some real Sunday service, baby.
You don't need to be in here, natty.
It's too hot in here. I'm even sweating, man.
I'm sweating like a pimp with one ho.
I'm sweating like R. Kelly at Chuck E. Cheese.
You know that's hot.
Natty, you need to get out the park.
You ain't the only one, baby. You got to get me out of here.
You don't understand. I can't take it no more.
I got to get out of here. These females can't do nothing for me.
- You got to get me out. - I'm missing you, baby.
- Get away, get away! - Why?
- Please! - I'm gonna get you out, baby.
Oh, baby!
Can't you see that's all they want? They bring us flowers,
then get dressed and smelling all good.
Now we should just open the legs and our gates wide open? Get away!
Nothing but death can keep us from it.
Me and you must never part...
Natty! Why?
Stand up like soldiers.
You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
This cause has brought us together.
You want to tell me what we were doing before?
Okay. Then I'll tell you.
We were accepting. Accepting a rundown community.
Accepting broken parks and broken playgrounds.
Look! Look at what we have done to this park since we've been here.
Ladies, until these hoodlums...
yes, that's what they are, hoodlums...
until they put down their guns, we stay.
And if you don't want to stay...
then you'll just have to go through me to leave.
So where's the guns?
Um... well, see...
And that's strike three.
And if y'all know like I know, the game ain't over yet.
Just 'cause you lost the inning, don't mean you lost the game, dawg.
Just keep that thing locked. The story's about to get real good.
Alicia Strada! Alicia Strada!
Alicia Strada!
- Which one of you is Alicia Strada? - I am.
- You're the girl who started all this? - Yes, I am.
Girls, she's the one who started this. We're coming in, girl.
- We've had enough too. - Yep.
Yo, ma, what the fuck you talking about?
"Our girls would never do shit like that. " You fucking idiot.
Till all this violence stops, you ain't getting none.
Yeah, all right, whatever. You can't do that.
- I can and I will. - Yeah, all right.
Bitch, you try to play me, you play yourself.
- Fucking pendeja! - Come mierda!
Fuck that. Let's get out of here.
We don't chase it, we replace it, mami.
Remember that. We don't chase it, we replace it.
Them girls ain't got nothing on us. I don't know what they was thinking.
They're crazy, they're stupid. We don't need 'em.
They're dumb. Look at 'em. They're living in a park, yo.
- What the hell is that, yo? - That's stupid.
Yo, number one... I can't stand these girls all chilling in the gym,
talking about all this bullshit sitting in tents.
What the hell is their problem?
Yo, they ain't giving up no ass, I ain't giving up shit.
Yo, on the reals, I could do the same damn thing.
This is okey-doke shit these ho's trying to run.
If they ain't faking the funk, they faking a fucking move.
Everybody knows in this 'hood how it goes down.
If they ain't tossing bro's, they're tossing ho's.
If they ain't tossing ho's, they're sucking a dick. That right.
They ain't sucking a dick, they're tossing a fucking salad.
That's licking the asshole for people who don't know.
They treating us like adolescents, too.
No sex? What the fuck? That's dumb.
They need us more than we need them.
We run this block, just to let the motherfuckers know,
we got many chicks around here. It ain't no problem to get more, so...
Believe that. We can do anything we want on this block.
- They're the ones that need us. - We own this motherfucker.
I don't have to give up no dick to no female up in this place at all.
I'll chill by my damn self, K-Y jelly, the whole nine, I don't give a damn.
Yo, straight up. Somebody came up with a fucking brain idea
that they want to boycott ass. Get the fuck out of here.
That's some bullshit if I never heard bullshit before.
Yo, check this out. Real people do real things in real situations.
Yo, this shit is fake as fuck, you hear what I'm saying? Yo, I'm out.
...without guns, a park without bums
A life with some peace and love.'s true, and don't you let me come on you
Don't think a sister won't flip 'cause she's so in love with you
"Cause the things you do to me, I could do the same to you...
I don't know how you can sleep.
How you gonna try and ignore me?
Man, who said that?
I did, that's who.
You're getting cold, girl.
Ooh, you're getting colder.
Ice cold.
Now you're hot.
Who are you?
I'm your vagina. You know, your better half?
No way, I can't believe my cootchie's talking to me.
You damn sure don't want to talk to their cootchies.
She sure as hell don't. We got our own problems.
Girl, so do we. Look at what we've been reduced to.
We all have needs that have to be fulfilled,
and this pussy protest has gone on long enough.
We got to be dreaming.
Girls, this is more like a pussy nightmare.
- What do you want? - Sit your horny ass down.
We want you to get your asses out of this park and get back with your man.
- Well, what about Alicia? - The hell with Alicia.
This is bigger than Alicia.
Look, we could all sneak out, find our men
ride them for two or three hours,
and get back without being missed.
No, you know we can't do that.
Look, we want out. This is unnatural.
Spirit 2: Tell me about it.
If you don't get us some dick right now,
we're gonna hunt your ass down every day until you do.
"I will not sleep with my sister's man. "
Yeah, right. I'll take anybody's man right about now.
And that dildo chafes, too.
Don't judge what you don't know.
You should be proud, Alicia.
What's on your mind?
I don't know. I was just thinking, maybe,
after the concert tomorrow we should just give it up.
Give it up?
Baby, listen to me.
Look at what you've done. The park is cleaner,
and you have shown the true power of women.
Not just here, but throughout all of Miami.
You can't give in yet.
I know it's been rough,
but we've come too far, child. Too far.
I know, but I just don't think they'll ever surrender the guns.
Well, in the words of Jesse Jackson,
"Keep hope alive. "
Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.
Hear what he has to say. You might be surprised.
- What do you want, Cal? - Just to talk, Alicia.
I heard this episode already.
Look, I want to talk about ending this.
All right, just me and you. Dinner?
I hear you like cheesecake.
All right, we'll talk, but later.
Babalucchi, what are we going to do about the girls, man?
Yeah, dawg, what are we going to do about these girls?
How the fuck should I know?
Yo, I don't know about you, but I miss my girl.
Yeah, dawg, me too.
Know what? Shut up and stop bitching.
I don't want to hear anybody talk about how much they miss their girls.
Harden up, man. Stop acting like a bunch of bitches.
Get some balls, motherfuckers.
So you miss your girl too, huh?
Is it that obvious?
Yo, what is that?
Man, this is something I picked up
from the shop down the street, you know what I'm saying?
Erotic playing cards.
- Here, take a look at them, man. - I don't want to see that shit.
Man... you got to take your time with the cards, man.
Yo, this is getting out of hand.
I mean, what y'all think?
You know what I think, dawg?
I love pussy. That's what I think. What about you, nigga?
None of us get any pussy anyway.
- That's true. - I think I know what we got to do.
What's that?
Girl, she was with him last night.
- Who was with who? - Alicia.
Man, don't tell me Alicia was with Black Zeus.
Yes she was. There she comes.
Girl, what is that look for?
- Girl, we saw your ass last night. - What are you talking about?
You, Zeus, leaving with him. What the fuck was that all about?
- It's not what you think. - "It's not what you think"?
You got everybody believing you, but yet you're sneaking off with Black Zeus?
Ain't nobody sneaking off with no damn Black Zeus.
Man, whatever.
Look, when this is all over, we can all get on with our lives.
- Just like that? - Just like that!
I can't believe these bitches.
Yo, homeboy, I know we've had beef in the past,
we got issues straight up, I ain't gonna front on you,
but this shit with this boycott and this pussy thing?
That's some serious shit. A nigga's heart's hurting behind this.
You telling me man, 'cause right now, dawg?
My girl, that's up in here?
Yo, I was about to make her wifey, son.
- Oh, for real, wifey, huh? - A wifey, son.
What do you think I'm going to do after this?
Think I'm going to do this now?
I'll tell you one thing, homeboy, we always talked about us over them.
Right now, she's choosing them over us.
You think after this shit come back correct, we gonna be the same?
- Uh-huh. - Ain't gonna happen, player.
Yo, you know what they say?
You can take the girl out the 'hood, but you can't take the 'hood out the girl.
And this shit here's going to ruin a fucking good thing, I'm for real.
What are those girls doing over there, my chocolate chip cookie?
Oh, don't worry about that, baby. They just some confused ho's.
That's why I'm with you, my Viking princess.
- You see it? - Yeah, I see it.
- Typical. - Lost.
That's the way love goes
Boy, girl, girl, boy
Love, hate, pain, joy
Heart, break, give, take
Fake, lust, child, hey
Boy meet girl, girl loves boy
Boy loves girl, together they swirl
Time goes by, girl cheats on guy
Boy's heart breaks but still loves girl
Girl moves on, boy, stay strong
Time heals all, boy, can't take fall
Boy's outside of girl's house
Girl comes out with next spouse
Boy pulls gun, next man run
Boy was shot, then come cops
Boy gets cuffed, in back seat stuffed
Boy gets locked up, girl still knocked up
By next man, boy feel like, "Damn!"
Love got boy crammed in cell, big slam
Boy, girl, girl, boy
Love, hate, pain, joy...
What's this shit?
You know what? Keep your motherfucking shit!
Boy hangs out with homeboys
St. Ides drunk in streets, make noise
Girl pass by, with nice thighs
Just right size, girl catch boy's eyes
Boy put down mack, girl take mack back...
Hey, yo, shorty? Alicia.
- Shorty, what's happening, baby? - Hey, what up?
You the Alicia everybody talking about, right?
You the shorty causing the problems in the hood,
nobody getting no smash-in with their ladies, huh?
- Yeah, I am. - Yeah? You like that, huh?
Some people like that, some people don't.
Got me in the doghouse right now, can't get no smash.
But listen, I'm thinking I might as well join you...
help you raise money for your park and all of that.
Your little... what do you got?
"Alicia Strada Do-Good-in-the-Hood Fund"?
There ain't no "Alicia Strada Do-Good-for-the-Hood Fund. "
You got one now, no? Yeah.
Listen, your mens, Babalucchi and Zeus is on the loose.
I heard something's jumping off tonight.
Heavy business was happening. I want you to be careful.
- All right, good looking-out. - All right, baby. Later.
The time has come for us to make a move.
Are you ready?
Yeah, that's right. You heard the man.
It's time for us to be the soldiers that we are,
and do what we got to do.
Y'all boys know I'm ready.
I'm always down for my dawgs.
Good, then pay attention.
All right, dawgs, listen up.
This is where Lourdes will be during the party.
Alicia will be around in this area during the party.
The crowd will be over here chilling, around the stairs.
On my signal, I need y'all to come in,
sneak in behind 'em and take 'em by surprise.
When I give the signal, come up through the rear.
Make sure you got your straps ready.
'Cause this shit is going to finish tonight.
They won't know what hit 'em.
- Let's do it. - Let's do it, man.
So you ready to do this, or you scared?
I ain't scared of shit. We can do this.
- All right, man. - All right.
Hey, yo, what's going on?
Basically, you know what we all here for.
A sister done stood up, you know what I mean?
Showed the world about a woman's power.
Not any woman's power, but a black woman's power, know what I mean?
Since I'm here to represent with the shorty and all of that,
I want all of y'all, you know what I'm saying,
to give it up for my new-found friend,
Alicia Strada, baby.
Babalucchi, what are you doing here?
Shut up, Lourdes, this ain't the time.
What the hell are you two doing here?
It's real simple, Alicia.
I don't want to die.
Out in the parking lot, you'll find a van with the rest of them.
No mas, we give.
You want peace? You got it.
Okay, gentlemen. Let's get down to business.
What the hell you mean, "business"?
I mean, absolutely no more fighting. Period.
I can't hear you.
All right, sí.
- As long as he stays off my... - Your what?
Stop it! It's no such thing, "yours" and "mine. "
It's ours... all of ours.
- What are you talking 'bout? - You bugging, man.
You see this?
Let me explain this so you guys can understand me.
Look at this as the 'hood... our neighborhood.
And like State Farm, we will be "good neighbors. "
You see this?
On Washington Ave.,
we don't want to see, or hear about no drive-bys.
And up here, on Ocean Ave.,
absolutely no drug dealing.
And down here... on the beach,
there'll be no carjacking and prostitution.
Do we have a deal, gentlemen?
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my extreme pleasure to announce...
y'all can have sex again.
All these rappers out here be claiming they're gangsta
They don't know nothing about this right here
Not today
Ain't no way
You can't ruin
This party
Not today
Ain't no way
'Cause you can't ruin
This party
We're here to have a little fun now, so put the guns down
Pass the blunts, man, let's all rejoice, yeah
Have a ball and worries, you can forget 'em all
On the lawn, or whether you're on a private call...
And that, homeboys and homegirls,
concludes tale number one from the M-I-A.
The moral of the story is...
did you really think I wasn't gonna leave you all
without a motherfucking thing to think about?
Change is always good, whenever and wherever needed.
So don't ever be afraid of change.
And y'all know, of course, they did live happily ever after
in the hood though, fo' sho. Y'all keep that thing locked.
While the kids playing tricks on Grandma
And for this I'm thanking you, Lord
Gotta thank you, you know?
Come on, Mama Africa. I know you got a little freak in you.
Come on, let it out. Come on now.
Yeah, but you got a whole lot of changing to do.
Come on, Mama Africa. I stopped drinking, no more O.E.,
I ain't smoking no more joints, and I've cleaned up,
and I zipped up my fly.
Not today
Ain't no way
You can't ruin
This party
Not today
Ain't no way
'Cause you can't ruin
This party...
Now you know, baby, I could use just a little...
- Servicing, huh? - Mmm-hmm.
You got it, baby. Let's go.
Let's go
Nobody ever standing still, Mom commands the grill
When up here you at my moms, you leaves a belly full
I got a stomachache, I think I had too much to drink
I'm trying to save some space so I can have another plate
Tripping over little kids acting the idiot
I'm getting silly 'cause I know everyone knows me
Others running like they're innocent and whatnot
We say "Electric Slide, " they call it "The Bus Stop"
This is for those still hungry
Whether you're my neighbor, or my peer, or my colleague
Doing what you got to do to make this money...
You do clean up pretty well. But how old are you?
Mama, let's just say, I'm young enough to breast-feed,
and old enough to enjoy it.
Like I said, I got to thank you twice
Because it's not every day
You get to chill with your family like that
Know what I mean, friends? And get to smile,
But you know how these streets is wild and everything
But like I say, I'm not letting nobody bring me down
Not today
Ain't no way...
A little something
I keeps you bumping...
Yeah... smoothed out, baby
You know how I like it... so, yo, check it
This one right here is that one
I let it marinate for a minute, lets 'em hear it, now it's done
So come on if you want it, you know that you do
Tired of the same old same it's new Jeru
Ill-type cats like us living lush
No need to rush, we keep our business on the hush
But you keep asking, trying to be the fastest
I'm letting you pass because I got a tank of gas
I'm doing two miles per hour in your speed zone spinning
Again and againing, I'm the one who be grinning
And I don't have no problem getting amps
I'm stepping on you, yo, that's what I got to do
And you don't understand I don't want to be the man
I'd rather make the dough and live my life on the low
And keep the party going for all my players who want to ball
I'm telling you now, kid, this one's for all
My peeps around the way, baby, yeah
This one's for all
My people worldwide.
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