Nothing Hill Collectors Edition
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[AUTHOR]Gatito_007
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02:23:25.21,02:23:27.14
So stay with us[br]because laterthis afternoon,
02:23:27.21,02:23:30.14
we're lucky enough[br]to be talking toAnna Scott,
02:23:30.21,02:23:31.98
Hollywood's biggeststarby far.
02:23:32.21,02:23:34.51
Miss Scott's latest film[br]is once again topping the charts.
02:25:27.58,02:25:28.25
Ofcourse l've seen herfilms...
02:25:28.25,02:25:29.81
Ofcourse l've seen herfilms...
02:25:29.92,02:25:32.28
andalways thought[br]she was, well, fabulous.
02:25:32.35,02:25:35.29
But, you know, a million, million miles[br]from the worldllive in...
02:25:35.36,02:25:40.02
which is here, Notting Hill,[br]my favorite bit ofLondon.
02:25:40.13,02:25:44.19
There's the market on weekdays selling[br]everyfruit and vegetable known to man.
02:25:44.30,02:25:47.43
Rock-hard bananas,[br]five for a pound !
02:25:47.50,02:25:50.27
The tattooparlor[br]with aguy outside whogot drunk...
02:25:50.34,02:25:53.80
andnowcan't remember[br]why he chose "l love Ken. "
02:25:53.87,02:25:55.97
The radicalhairdressers...
02:25:56.04,02:25:58.27
where everyone comes out[br]looking like the Cookie Monster,
02:25:58.35,02:26:00.61
whetherthey want to ornot.
02:26:00.68,02:26:02.77
Andthen, suddenly,[br]it's the weekend,
02:26:02.85,02:26:05.51
andfrom break ofday hundreds[br]ofstalls appearout ofnowhere,
02:26:05.62,02:26:08.28
filling Portobello Road,[br]right up to Notting Hill Gate.
02:26:08.36,02:26:11.88
And whereveryou look thousands of[br]people are buying millions ofantiques,
02:26:11.99,02:26:17.12
somegenuine andsome...[br]not quitesogenuine.
02:26:17.20,02:26:20.89
And what'sgreat is that lots offriends[br]have endedup in thispart ofLondon.
02:26:21.00,02:26:24.49
That's Tony, forexample,[br]architect turnedchef,
02:26:24.57,02:26:28.01
who recently investedall the money[br]he everearnedin a newrestaurant.
02:26:28.08,02:26:31.24
Andso, this is where[br]lspendmy days andyears...
02:26:31.34,02:26:35.14
in this small village in the middle of[br]the city in a house with a blue door...
02:26:35.22,02:26:38.58
that my wife andlbought together[br]before she left me fora man...
02:26:38.75,02:26:41.41
who lookedexactly like Harrison Ford.
02:26:41.49,02:26:44.46
And where lleada strange half-life[br]with a lodgercalled--
02:26:44.56,02:26:46.46
Spike !
02:26:51.63,02:26:54.66
You couldn't help me with an incredibly[br]important decision, could you ?
02:26:54.77,02:26:58.76
Important compared to, let's say,[br]whether they cancel Third World debt ?
02:26:58.84,02:27:01.97
That's right. I am at last going out[br]on a date with the greatJanine,
02:27:02.08,02:27:04.34
and I just wanna be sure[br]I've picked the right T-shirt.
02:27:04.44,02:27:07.35
- What are the choices ?[br]- Well, wait for it.
02:27:14.69,02:27:17.97
First there's this one.[br]Cool, huh ?
02:27:18.11,02:27:22.44
Yeah, it might make it hard[br]to strike a really romantic note.
02:27:22.54,02:27:24.44
Point taken.[br]Don't despair.
02:27:24.55,02:27:28.24
If it's romance we're looking for,[br]I believe I havejust the thing.
02:27:32.45,02:27:36.39
Yeah, well, there again, she might not[br]thinkyou had true love on your mind.
02:27:36.46,02:27:39.48
Right.[br]Just one more.
02:27:45.13,02:27:47.62
True love here lcome.
02:27:52.67,02:27:57.08
Well, yeah. Yeah, that's--[br]that's, um, perfect.
02:27:57.15,02:28:00.14
Great. Thanks.
02:28:00.25,02:28:03.51
- Wish me luck.[br]- Good luck.
02:28:08.92,02:28:11.48
Andso it was[br]just anotherhopeless Wednesday,
02:28:11.59,02:28:14.32
asl walkedthe thousandyards[br]through the market to work,
02:28:14.43,02:28:18.92
neversuspecting that this was the day[br]that wasgonna change my life forever.
02:28:19.00,02:28:22.46
This is work, by the way,[br]my little travelbookshop,
02:28:23.61,02:28:26.63
- Morning, Martin.[br]- Morning, Monsignor.
02:28:26.71,02:28:29.70
which, um, well, sells travelbooks,
02:28:29.81,02:28:33.18
and, to be frank withyou,[br]doesn 't always sellmany ofthose.
02:28:36.85,02:28:40.38
Classic.[br]Profit from major sales push,
02:28:40.49,02:28:43.62
minus £347.
02:28:45.16,02:28:48.79
Shall I, uh,[br]go and get you a cappuccino ?
02:28:48.86,02:28:51.86
- You know, ease the pain a bit.[br]- Yeah, yeah.
02:28:51.97,02:28:55.03
Better make it a half.[br]All I can afford.
02:28:55.14,02:28:59.97
Get your logic.[br]Demi-cappu coming right up.
02:29:24.17,02:29:26.53
Um, can I help you at all ?
02:29:27.94,02:29:31.24
No, thanks.[br]I'll just... look around.
02:29:32.34,02:29:35.17
Fine.
02:29:40.58,02:29:43.78
Uh, that book's really not great.
02:29:43.89,02:29:47.91
Just in case, you know, browsing turned[br]to buying. You'd be wasting your money.
02:29:48.02,02:29:50.46
But if it's Turkey[br]you're interested in,
02:29:50.56,02:29:53.59
um, this one, on the other hand,[br]is very good.
02:29:53.70,02:29:57.89
Um, I think the man who wrote it has[br]actually been to Turkey, which helps.
02:29:57.97,02:30:01.87
Um, there's also[br]a very amusing incident with a kebab,
02:30:01.94,02:30:04.70
um, which is one[br]of many amusing incidents.
02:30:04.77,02:30:06.74
Thanks.[br]I'll think about it.
02:30:06.81,02:30:09.30
Or, in the biggerhardback variety,[br]there's--
02:30:09.41,02:30:13.47
l'm sorry.[br]Canyoujustgive me a second?
02:30:16.62,02:30:18.81
Excuse me.
02:30:18.92,02:30:20.95
- Yes ?[br]- Bad news.
02:30:21.06,02:30:22.46
What ?
02:30:22.66,02:30:26.12
We've got a security camera[br]in this bit ofthe shop.
02:30:26.23,02:30:27.46
So ?
02:30:27.56,02:30:30.26
So I saw you put that book[br]down your trousers.
02:30:31.63,02:30:35.83
- What book ?[br]- The one down your trousers.
02:30:35.94,02:30:38.50
I don't have a book[br]down my trousers.
02:30:38.61,02:30:40.58
Right.
02:30:40.64,02:30:42.94
ltellyou what.[br]Um, l'll call thepolice, and, um,
02:30:43.01,02:30:46.81
if I'm wrong about the whole[br]"book down the trousers" scenario,
02:30:46.92,02:30:48.31
I really apologize.
02:30:48.42,02:30:53.79
Okay. What if... I did[br]have a book down my trousers ?
02:30:53.86,02:30:56.69
Well, ideally,[br]when l went back to the desk,
02:30:56.79,02:31:01.86
you'd remove the Cadogan Guide[br]to Bali from your trousers...
02:31:01.96,02:31:05.16
and either wipe it[br]and put it back or buy it.
02:31:05.27,02:31:07.63
I'll see you in a sec.
02:31:07.70,02:31:10.17
I'm sorry about that.
02:31:10.27,02:31:12.76
No, it's fi ne.
02:31:12.84,02:31:16.71
I was gonna steal one,[br]but now I've changed my mind.
02:31:16.81,02:31:19.71
Oh, signed by the author,[br]I see.
02:31:19.82,02:31:22.15
Um, yeah, couldn't stop him.
02:31:22.22,02:31:25.12
Ifyou can fi nd an unsigned one,[br]it's worth an absolute fortune.
02:31:27.16,02:31:28.18
Excuse me.
02:31:28.29,02:31:30.28
- Yes ?[br]- Can I have your autograph ?
02:31:30.36,02:31:32.83
Uh, sure.
02:31:35.13,02:31:38.62
- What's your name ?[br]- Rufus.
02:31:43.34,02:31:45.33
What does it say ?
02:31:45.41,02:31:50.47
That's my signature. And above it, it[br]says, "Dear Rufus, you belong in jail."
02:31:50.55,02:31:52.64
Good one.
02:31:54.42,02:31:57.98
- Do you want my phone number ?[br]- Tempting.
02:31:58.05,02:32:00.89
But... no.[br]Thankyou.
02:32:04.76,02:32:07.66
I will take this one.
02:32:07.73,02:32:10.20
Oh, right, right.[br]So, uh--
02:32:10.27,02:32:14.33
Well, on second thoughts,[br]um, maybe it's not that bad after all.
02:32:14.40,02:32:17.27
Actually, it's a sort[br]ofa classic, really.
02:32:17.37,02:32:20.93
None ofthose childish kebab stories[br]you fi nd in so many books these days.
02:32:21.04,02:32:22.94
And, um, I tell you what.
02:32:23.04,02:32:25.01
I'll throw in[br]one ofthose for free.
02:32:25.08,02:32:27.61
Useful for, uh, lighting fi res,
02:32:27.72,02:32:30.62
wrapping fish,[br]that sort ofthing.
02:32:33.56,02:32:36.05
- Thanks.[br]- Pleasure.
02:33:07.22,02:33:11.56
Cappuccino, as ordered.
02:33:11.63,02:33:13.65
Thanks.
02:33:13.76,02:33:16.82
I don't thinkyou'll believe[br]who wasjust in here.
02:33:16.93,02:33:19.77
Who ?[br]Was it someone famous ?
02:33:23.34,02:33:25.43
Would be exciting, though,[br]wouldn't it,
02:33:25.51,02:33:27.84
ifsomeone famous[br]came into the shop ? Hmm ?
02:33:27.94,02:33:31.90
Do you know--[br]and this is pretty amazing, actually--
02:33:31.98,02:33:34.24
but I once saw Ringo Starr.
02:33:34.32,02:33:36.61
- Where was that ?[br]- Kensington High Street.
02:33:36.69,02:33:38.62
At least I think it was Ringo.
02:33:38.69,02:33:41.42
It might have been that man[br]from Fiddleron the Roof.
02:33:41.49,02:33:44.15
- You know, Toppy.[br]- Topol.
02:33:44.26,02:33:46.92
Yes, that's right.[br]Topol.
02:33:47.00,02:33:48.93
Mm-hmm.
02:33:49.00,02:33:52.87
Actually, Ringo Starr doesn't--[br]doesn't look at all like, uh, Topol.
02:33:52.97,02:33:56.03
Yeah, but he was--[br]he was quite a long way away from me.
02:33:56.14,02:33:59.20
So actually it could've[br]been neither ofthem.
02:33:59.31,02:34:02.14
Yes, I suppose so, yes.
02:34:02.21,02:34:06.65
- It's not a classic anecdote, is it ?[br]- Not a classic, no. No.
02:34:10.45,02:34:14.86
- Another one ?[br]- Yes. No.
02:34:14.96,02:34:18.39
Let's go crazy.[br]I'll have an orangejuice.
02:34:35.74,02:34:38.74
- Oh, my God ![br]- Bugger ! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
02:34:38.85,02:34:41.68
- Here. Let me--[br]- Get your hands off !
02:34:41.75,02:34:44.55
l'm reallysorry.[br]l-- llivejust overthestreet.
02:34:44.65,02:34:47.85
I have, um, water and soap.[br]You can get cleaned up.
02:34:47.92,02:34:50.15
No, thankyou.[br]I just need to get my car back.
02:34:50.23,02:34:53.56
I also have a phone.[br]I'm confident that in five minutes...
02:34:53.66,02:34:56.60
we could have you spick-and-span[br]and back on the street again.
02:34:56.70,02:34:59.39
In the non-prostitute sense,[br]obviously.
02:35:02.54,02:35:05.70
All right. Well-- What do you mean,[br]"just over the street" ?
02:35:05.77,02:35:07.27
- Give it to me in yards.[br]- Uh, 1 8 yards.
02:35:07.27,02:35:09.50
- Give it to me in yards.[br]- Uh, 1 8 yards.
02:35:09.57,02:35:12.83
That's my house there[br]with the blue front door.
02:35:15.74,02:35:19.01
Come on in.[br]I'll just-- I'll just--
02:35:22.08,02:35:27.18
Um, right. Right.[br]Come in.
02:35:27.25,02:35:30.65
It's, um, not quite as tidy[br]as it normally is, I fear.
02:35:30.72,02:35:33.89
But, um--[br]The bathroom's on the top floor.
02:35:33.99,02:35:37.86
And the telephone'sjust--[br]just up here.
02:35:39.40,02:35:41.73
Here.[br]Let-- Let me, um--
02:35:47.54,02:35:51.00
Um, round the corner.[br]Straight on-- straight on up.
02:35:54.78,02:35:56.71
Bugger.
02:36:18.37,02:36:21.53
Would you like a cup oftea[br]before you go ?
02:36:21.61,02:36:23.97
- No.[br]- Coffee ?
02:36:24.08,02:36:26.81
- No.[br]- Orangejuice ?
02:36:27.95,02:36:32.41
Probably not.[br]Um, something else cold.
02:36:36.32,02:36:38.62
Coke ? Water ?
02:36:38.72,02:36:40.62
Some disgusting sugary drink...
02:36:40.73,02:36:42.79
pretending to have something to do[br]with fruits ofthe forest ?
02:36:42.90,02:36:45.92
- No.[br]- Would you like something to eat ?
02:36:46.00,02:36:48.26
Uh, something to nibble ?
02:36:48.33,02:36:52.17
Um, apricots soaked in honey ?
02:36:52.27,02:36:55.67
Quite why, no one knows, because[br]it stops them tasting ofapricots...
02:36:55.77,02:36:58.11
and makes them taste like honey,
02:36:58.18,02:37:03.14
and ifyou wanted honey, you'd just[br]buy honey instead of... apricots.
02:37:03.25,02:37:05.68
Um, but nevertheless,[br]there we go there.
02:37:05.78,02:37:07.91
They're yours ifyou want them.
02:37:12.42,02:37:14.79
Do you always say "no"[br]to everything ?
02:37:20.20,02:37:22.83
I'd better be going.
02:37:22.94,02:37:26.17
Thanks foryour, uh, help.
02:37:26.27,02:37:28.17
You're welcome.
02:37:28.27,02:37:33.61
And, uh, may I also say,[br]um, heavenly.
02:37:33.68,02:37:36.61
I'll just take[br]my one chance to say it.
02:37:36.68,02:37:38.95
Afteryou've read[br]that terrible book,
02:37:39.02,02:37:41.35
you're certainly not going[br]to be coming back to the shop.
02:37:41.45,02:37:44.05
Thankyou.
02:37:44.16,02:37:48.12
Yeah.[br]Well, my pleasure.
02:37:58.67,02:38:01.40
So...
02:38:01.51,02:38:03.53
it was nice to meet you.
02:38:03.64,02:38:07.87
Surreal but, um-- but nice.
02:38:09.98,02:38:11.88
Sorry.
02:38:19.39,02:38:22.85
"Surreal but nice" ?[br]What was I thinking ?
02:38:37.18,02:38:41.20
- I forgot my other bag.[br]- Oh, right. Right.
02:38:50.06,02:38:51.96
Thanks.
02:39:22.55,02:39:27.29
I'm very sorry about[br]the "surreal but nice" comment.
02:39:27.39,02:39:29.83
- Disaster.[br]- That's okay.
02:39:29.93,02:39:34.66
I thought the apricot and honey thing[br]was the real low point.
02:39:36.84,02:39:39.57
Oh, my God.[br]My flatmate.
02:39:39.64,02:39:42.30
I'm sorry.[br]There's no excuse for him.
02:39:46.91,02:39:49.24
I'm just going into the kitchen[br]to get some food.
02:39:49.31,02:39:53.68
Then I'll tell you a story[br]that will make your balls shrink[br]to the size of raisins.
02:39:58.62,02:40:02.19
Probably best[br]not to tell anyone about this.
02:40:02.29,02:40:05.26
Right. Right.[br]No one.
02:40:05.33,02:40:07.63
I mean, I'll tell myselfsometimes.
02:40:07.70,02:40:10.33
But don't worry.[br]I won't believe it.
02:40:30.39,02:40:33.52
There's something wrong[br]with this yogurt.
02:40:35.39,02:40:38.52
It's not yogurt.[br]It's mayonnaise.
02:40:38.63,02:40:40.62
Oh, right.[br]There we are then.
02:40:42.57,02:40:45.50
On fora videofest tonight ?
02:40:46.87,02:40:50.04
I got some absolute classics.
02:40:52.64,02:40:55.67
- Smile.[br]- No.
02:40:59.02,02:41:03.25
- Smile.[br]- I've got nothing to smile about.
02:41:12.33,02:41:14.23
Okay.
02:41:14.33,02:41:16.93
In about seven seconds,
02:41:17.04,02:41:19.70
I'm going to askyou[br]to marry me.
02:41:26.38,02:41:28.94
lmagine.
02:41:29.05,02:41:33.88
Somewhere in the world[br]there's a man who's allowedto kiss her.
02:41:36.42,02:41:39.12
Yes, she is, uh,
02:41:39.22,02:41:43.06
fairly fabulous.
02:41:51.14,02:41:53.70
- Do you have any books by Dickens ?[br]- No.
02:41:53.77,02:41:58.23
No, I'm afraid we're a travel bookshop.[br]We only sell travel books.
02:41:59.91,02:42:03.14
Oh, right. How about[br]the newJohn Grisham thriller ?
02:42:04.58,02:42:08.58
Well, no, 'cause that's, uh--[br]that's a novel too, isn't it ?
02:42:08.65,02:42:11.49
Oh, right.
02:42:12.66,02:42:17.93
Have you got Winnie the Pooh ?
02:42:19.50,02:42:21.97
Martin, your customer.
02:42:22.07,02:42:24.09
Uh, can I help you ?
02:42:42.19,02:42:45.78
Just, um, incidentally,
02:42:45.86,02:42:48.85
uh, why...[br]are you wearing that ?
02:42:48.96,02:42:52.66
Combination offactors really.[br]Uh, no clean clothes.
02:42:52.76,02:42:56.63
There never willbe, you know,[br]unlessyou actually cleanyourclothes.
02:42:56.70,02:42:59.14
Right.[br]Vicious circle.
02:42:59.20,02:43:01.87
And I was, like,[br]rooting around in your things...
02:43:01.97,02:43:04.00
and I found this,[br]and I thought "cool."
02:43:05.63,02:43:08.26
Kinda... spacey.
02:43:11.40,02:43:14.27
There's something wrong[br]with the goggles, though.
02:43:14.34,02:43:17.24
No, they were, um, prescription.
02:43:17.31,02:43:20.94
-Groovy.[br]-So I could see all the fishes properly.
02:43:21.01,02:43:23.64
You should do more[br]ofthis stuff.
02:43:23.75,02:43:27.68
- So, look, any messages today ?[br]- Yeah, I wrote a couple down.
02:43:27.78,02:43:31.15
So there were two.[br]There were two messages ? Right ?
02:43:33.12,02:43:36.42
You want me to write down[br]all your messages ?
02:43:36.49,02:43:40.62
Okay, who are the ones[br]that you didn't write down from ?
02:43:42.53,02:43:43.97
No. Gone completely.
02:43:44.03,02:43:45.97
Oh, no.[br]There was one from your mum.
02:43:46.04,02:43:48.66
She said don't forget lunch,[br]and her leg's hurting again.
02:43:48.77,02:43:51.30
- No one else ?[br]-Absolutely no one else.
02:43:54.78,02:43:58.04
Though ifwe're going for this obsessive[br]writing down all the message thing,
02:43:58.15,02:44:01.55
some American girl called Anna[br]called a few days ago.
02:44:07.12,02:44:10.02
- What did she say ?[br]- Well, it was genuinely bizarre.
02:44:10.13,02:44:15.56
She said, "Hi. It's Anna."[br]Then she said, "Call me at The Ritz"...
02:44:15.67,02:44:19.12
and then gave herself[br]a completely different name.
02:44:19.20,02:44:23.14
- Which was ?[br]- Absolutely no idea.
02:44:23.21,02:44:25.64
Remembering one name's hard enough.
02:44:25.71,02:44:27.97
No, I-- I know that.[br]She-- She said that.
02:44:28.04,02:44:30.31
Um, I know she's using another name.
02:44:30.38,02:44:33.84
The problem is[br]she left the message with my flatmate...
02:44:33.92,02:44:35.85
which was a very serious mistake.
02:44:35.92,02:44:40.22
Um, I don't know. Imagine, ifyou will,[br]the stupidest person you've ever met.
02:44:40.32,02:44:44.52
- Are you doing that ?[br]- Yes, sir, I have him in my mind.
02:44:44.59,02:44:47.89
And now double it.[br]And that is the, um-- what can I say--
02:44:48.00,02:44:50.52
the git that I am living with.
02:44:50.60,02:44:52.00
And he can't remember--
02:44:52.07,02:44:55.16
- Try Flintstone.[br]- I'm sorry, what ?
02:44:55.24,02:44:58.70
I think she said[br]her name was Flintstone.
02:45:00.74,02:45:05.70
I don't-- I don't suppose, um,[br]Flintstone rings any bells, does it ?
02:45:05.78,02:45:09.05
- Oh, I'll put you right through, sir.[br]- Oh, my God.
02:45:11.72,02:45:14.85
Hello. Hi.
02:45:14.92,02:45:16.86
- Hi there.[br]- Hello ?
02:45:18.93,02:45:22.69
- Sorry. It's William... Thacker.[br]- Yes ?
02:45:22.77,02:45:25.29
Um, we-- I work in a bookshop.
02:45:29.31,02:45:32.54
Oh, no, I promise you I've never played[br]anything cool in my entire life.
02:45:32.61,02:45:36.10
My flatmate, who'll I'll stab to death[br]later, never gave me the message.
02:45:37.71,02:45:40.31
I don't know.[br]Perhaps, um,
02:45:40.42,02:45:44.75
I could drop round[br]for tea later or something.
02:45:47.26,02:45:49.82
Right. Right. Great.
02:45:58.30,02:46:00.27
Classic.
02:46:05.14,02:46:07.11
Classic.
02:46:45.01,02:46:47.68
- Which floor ?[br]- Three, please.
02:47:16.15,02:47:18.84
Uh, are you sure this is--
02:47:18.92,02:47:21.65
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure.
02:47:32.90,02:47:34.83
- Hi. Hi. I'm Karen.[br]- Hi.
02:47:34.90,02:47:37.42
I'm sorry.[br]Things are running a little bit late.
02:47:37.53,02:47:41.59
Here's the, uh, thing.[br]Do you wanna come this way ?
02:47:41.70,02:47:44.40
Through here.
02:47:48.51,02:47:50.91
So what did you[br]think ofthe fi lm ?
02:47:51.01,02:47:53.78
Yeah, I thought it was fantastic.[br]I thought it was, uh,
02:47:53.88,02:47:57.41
Close Encounters[br]meetsJean de Florette.
02:47:59.52,02:48:01.42
I agree.
02:48:01.52,02:48:04.43
I'm sorry. I didn't get down[br]what magazines you're from.
02:48:04.53,02:48:06.96
- Time Out.[br]- Great.
02:48:07.06,02:48:10.06
And you're from ?
02:48:15.20,02:48:17.07
Horse & Hound.
02:48:21.48,02:48:25.07
The name's William Thacker. I think,[br]actually, she might be expecting me.
02:48:25.15,02:48:27.95
Oh, okay.[br]Take a seat and I'll go check.
02:48:31.55,02:48:34.92
I see you've, uh--[br]I see you've brought her some flowers.
02:48:37.99,02:48:41.33
These are for my,[br]um, grandmother.
02:48:41.43,02:48:44.16
She's in a hospital[br]just down the road.
02:48:44.27,02:48:46.96
Thought I'd kill two birds[br]with one stone, you know.
02:48:47.07,02:48:50.30
Sure, right.[br]Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
02:48:50.41,02:48:53.10
Which hospital's that ?
02:48:53.18,02:48:56.77
Do you mind me not saying ?[br]It's a rather distressing disease.
02:48:56.85,02:48:58.94
Name ofthe hospital[br]kind of gives it away.
02:49:02.52,02:49:05.32
Right, uh, Mr. Thacker.[br]Will you come this way.
02:49:05.42,02:49:07.79
Right.
02:49:07.86,02:49:10.76
You've got five minutes.
02:49:19.50,02:49:22.70
- Hi.[br]- Hello.
02:49:22.81,02:49:26.71
Uh, I brought these, but clearly--
02:49:26.81,02:49:30.61
No, they're great.[br]They're great.
02:49:30.68,02:49:33.55
Ah, listen,[br]I'm sorry about not ringing back.
02:49:33.65,02:49:35.55
The whole "two-names concept"...
02:49:35.65,02:49:38.14
was totally too much for my flatmate's[br]pea-sized intellect.
02:49:38.22,02:49:42.06
No, it's a stupid privacy thing.[br]I always pick a... cartoon character.
02:49:42.16,02:49:44.32
Last time I was Mrs. Bambi.
02:49:47.23,02:49:50.46
- Everything all right ?[br]- Yes, thankyou.
02:49:50.53,02:49:53.33
And you're from, uh,[br]Horse & Hound.
02:49:56.07,02:49:58.84
Is that so ? Well.
02:50:04.81,02:50:06.91
So, uh--
02:50:10.02,02:50:15.25
Uh, I'll just... fi re away then,[br]shall I ?
02:50:16.86,02:50:18.88
Right.
02:50:22.37,02:50:25.66
The fi lm's great, and, um,
02:50:25.74,02:50:28.73
I just was wondering whether...
02:50:28.84,02:50:30.93
you ever thought of having, um,
02:50:31.04,02:50:34.77
more, uh, horses in it.
02:50:37.91,02:50:41.44
Uh, well, we would have liked to,
02:50:41.55,02:50:46.89
but it was, um, difficult,[br]obviously, being set in space.
02:50:48.39,02:50:52.23
Space, right, yeah.[br]Yeah, obviously very difficult.
02:50:53.60,02:50:55.53
I'm so sorry.[br]I arrived outside.
02:50:55.60,02:50:57.57
They thrust this thing[br]into my hand--
02:50:57.63,02:51:00.93
No, it's my fault.[br]I thought this would all be over by now.
02:51:01.04,02:51:03.73
I just wanted to sort ofapologize[br]for the kissing thing.
02:51:03.81,02:51:05.74
I seriously don't know[br]what came over me.
02:51:05.81,02:51:08.80
And I just wanted to make sure[br]that you were fi ne about it.
02:51:10.65,02:51:15.24
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely fi ne.
02:51:16.22,02:51:20.32
Do rememberthat Miss Scott is also[br]keen to talk about hernextproject...
02:51:20.42,02:51:24.12
which is, um, shooting[br]later in the summer.
02:51:24.23,02:51:27.66
Ah, yes, excellent.[br]Excellent.
02:51:32.64,02:51:36.77
Any horses in that one ?
02:51:36.84,02:51:42.28
Or hounds for that matter. Our readers[br]are equally intrigued by both species.
02:51:42.35,02:51:45.14
It takes place on a submarine.
02:51:45.25,02:51:48.68
Oh. Well, bad luck.
02:51:50.12,02:51:52.68
But, um,
02:51:52.79,02:51:55.09
ifthere were horses in it,
02:51:55.16,02:51:57.75
would you be riding them...
02:51:57.83,02:52:02.46
or would you be getting, a--[br]a stunt-horse-double-man-thing ?
02:52:04.87,02:52:09.70
I-I'm a complete moron.[br]I apologize. I--
02:52:09.81,02:52:13.67
This is very weird. It's the sort[br]ofthing that happens in dreams,
02:52:13.78,02:52:16.34
not in reallife.
02:52:16.45,02:52:18.88
I mean, good dreams.[br]It's a--
02:52:18.98,02:52:22.54
It's a dream, in fact,[br]uh, to see you again.
02:52:24.15,02:52:27.82
What happens next in the dream ?
02:52:29.66,02:52:34.03
I suppose in the, uh, dream--
02:52:34.13,02:52:37.66
dream scenario--[br]I just, uh,
02:52:37.73,02:52:39.89
change my personality...
02:52:40.00,02:52:42.66
because you can do that[br]in dreams and, um,
02:52:45.01,02:52:49.24
walk overand, uh, kiss thegirl.
02:52:49.35,02:52:52.01
But, uh--
02:52:59.69,02:53:03.39
Time's up, l'm afraid.[br]Didyouget whatyou wanted?
02:53:03.49,02:53:06.92
- Um, nearly, nearly.[br]- Well, maybejust one last question.
02:53:06.92,02:53:08.65
- Um, nearly, nearly.[br]- Well, maybejust one last question.
02:53:10.06,02:53:12.68
- Sure.[br]- Right, right.
02:53:16.33,02:53:19.73
Are you... busy tonight ?
02:53:19.83,02:53:24.70
- Yes.[br]- Right. Right.
02:53:26.31,02:53:30.24
- Come in.[br]- Well, it was nice to meet you.
02:53:30.34,02:53:32.57
Yes, and you.
02:53:32.68,02:53:35.08
Surreal... but nice.
02:53:35.18,02:53:39.55
Thankyou. You are Horse & Hound's[br]favorite actress.
02:53:40.92,02:53:43.39
You and Black Beauty...
02:53:43.49,02:53:45.39
tied.
02:53:50.53,02:53:52.43
How was she ?
02:53:52.53,02:53:55.99
Oh, um, fabulous.
02:53:56.07,02:54:00.16
Excellent. Wait a minute.[br]She tookyour grandmother's flowers.
02:54:00.24,02:54:03.77
Uh, yeah, yeah.[br]That's right.
02:54:03.88,02:54:05.94
- Bitch.[br]- Oh, Mr. Thacker.
02:54:06.05,02:54:10.45
Mr. Thacker, ifyou'd like to come with[br]me, we can rush you through the others.
02:54:10.55,02:54:11.95
The others ?
02:54:12.05,02:54:14.61
Mr. Thacker is from Horse & Hound.
02:54:17.59,02:54:20.02
- How's it going ?[br]- Very well, thankyou.
02:54:20.09,02:54:21.53
Have a seat.
02:54:23.63,02:54:26.79
Well, did you enjoy the fi lm ?
02:54:26.90,02:54:29.96
Yes, enormously.
02:54:30.07,02:54:31.90
- Well, fi re away.[br]- Right.
02:54:33.44,02:54:35.77
Did you enjoy making the fi lm ?
02:54:35.87,02:54:39.74
- Yes, I did.[br]- Good.
02:54:39.81,02:54:42.28
Any bit in particular ?
02:54:42.38,02:54:45.48
You tell me what bit[br]you enjoyed the most,
02:54:45.58,02:54:48.58
and I'll tell you[br]if I enjoyed making that bit.
02:54:50.59,02:54:54.32
Uh, I...
02:54:54.43,02:54:57.42
liked the bit in space...
02:54:57.50,02:54:59.43
very much.
02:54:59.50,02:55:03.09
Didyou identify with the character[br]you'replaying ?
02:55:12.81,02:55:16.61
Oh. Why not ?
02:55:23.02,02:55:26.69
Because he's playing[br]a psychopathic flesh-eating robot.
02:55:26.79,02:55:28.99
Classic.
02:55:29.09,02:55:31.86
So, uh,
02:55:31.96,02:55:34.52
is this your fi rst fi lm ?
02:55:34.63,02:55:37.47
No. It's my 22nd.
02:55:37.54,02:55:41.47
Ofcourse it is.[br]Any favorites among the 22 ?
02:55:42.94,02:55:44.84
Working with Leonardo.
02:55:44.94,02:55:48.97
- Da Vinci ?[br]- DiCaprio.
02:55:49.05,02:55:51.88
Ofcourse.
02:55:51.98,02:55:55.98
And is-- is he your favorite[br]Italian director ?
02:56:00.53,02:56:03.65
- Mr. Thacker.[br]- Oh, no.
02:56:03.73,02:56:06.53
- Have you got a minute ?[br]- No.
02:56:18.21,02:56:21.91
Um-- Yeah, so the, um--
02:56:22.01,02:56:26.25
the-- the thing I was doing tonight,[br]I'm not doing anymore.
02:56:26.35,02:56:28.82
I told them I had[br]to spend the evening...
02:56:28.89,02:56:32.69
with Britain's premier[br]equestrian journalist.
02:56:32.76,02:56:35.85
Oh. Well, great.
02:56:35.93,02:56:38.09
Fantastic.[br]That's, uh--
02:56:38.20,02:56:41.43
Oh. Shittity brickitty.
02:56:41.53,02:56:45.06
It's my sister's birthday. Shit.[br]We're meant to be having dinner.
02:56:45.17,02:56:48.04
- Okay, that's fi ne.[br]- No. I'm sure I can get out of it.
02:56:48.11,02:56:51.57
No, I mean, if it's fi ne with you,[br]I'll be your date.
02:56:53.18,02:56:56.24
You--[br]You'll be my date...
02:56:56.35,02:56:59.04
to my little sister's[br]birthday party ?
02:56:59.12,02:57:02.88
- If it's all right.[br]- Well, yeah, l'm sure it's allright.
02:57:02.96,02:57:04.79
My friend Max is cooking,
02:57:04.89,02:57:07.88
and he is generally acknowledged[br]to be the worst cook in the world.
02:57:07.96,02:57:12.40
But, um, you know, you could hide[br]the food in your handbag or something.
02:57:12.46,02:57:16.73
- Okay.[br]- Okay.
02:57:18.74,02:57:22.61
- He's bringing a girl ?[br]- Miracles do happen.
02:57:22.71,02:57:26.77
- Does the girl have a name ?[br]- Don't know. Wouldn't say.
02:57:26.88,02:57:29.58
Oh, Christ ![br]What is going on in there ?
02:57:29.65,02:57:33.45
Oh, God !
02:57:35.65,02:57:38.45
Hi. Come on in.[br]Vague food crisis.
02:57:44.40,02:57:46.39
Hiya ! Sorry.
02:57:46.47,02:57:49.40
Theguinea fowlisproving[br]more complicatedthan expected.
02:57:49.47,02:57:52.40
- He's cooking guinea-fowl ?[br]- Don't even ask.
02:57:55.44,02:57:58.00
Good Lord,[br]you're the spitting image of--
02:57:58.11,02:58:00.10
Bella, this is Anna.
02:58:01.85,02:58:03.97
- Right.[br]- Okay, crisis over.
02:58:04.08,02:58:06.98
Max, this is Anna.
02:58:07.09,02:58:10.49
- Hi.[br]- Hello, Anna--
02:58:10.59,02:58:13.32
Scott.[br]Have some wine.
02:58:13.43,02:58:15.66
Thankyou.
02:58:15.76,02:58:17.49
I'll get it.
02:58:20.50,02:58:22.43
Red or white ?
02:58:22.50,02:58:25.27
- Oh. Hey.[br]- Hi.
02:58:25.34,02:58:28.86
- Oh, yes, happy birthday.[br]- Thankyou.
02:58:28.97,02:58:31.17
Look, your brother's[br]brought this girl.
02:58:31.28,02:58:32.68
Hi, guys.
02:58:34.01,02:58:36.00
Oh, holy fuck !
02:58:36.11,02:58:39.55
Hon, this is Anna. Anna, this is Honey.[br]She's my baby sister.
02:58:39.65,02:58:41.64
Oh. Hi.
02:58:41.72,02:58:44.62
Oh, God. This is one[br]ofthose key moments in life...
02:58:44.69,02:58:47.63
when it's possible[br]you can be really genuinely cool...
02:58:47.69,02:58:52.86
and I-- I'm going to fail[br]just a hundred percent.
02:58:54.90,02:58:59.34
I-- I absolutely,[br]totally and utterly adore you.
02:58:59.40,02:59:03.70
And I just think... you are[br]the most beautiful woman in the world.
02:59:03.81,02:59:06.97
And, more importantly,[br]I genuinely believe,
02:59:07.05,02:59:11.98
and I've believed for some time now,[br]that we could be best friends.
02:59:12.05,02:59:15.02
So what do you think ?
02:59:17.06,02:59:19.02
Uh, lucky me.
02:59:20.99,02:59:23.69
Well, happy birthday.
02:59:23.76,02:59:28.83
Oh, you gave me a present.[br]We're best friends already then.
02:59:28.90,02:59:31.60
Marry Will. He's a really nice guy.[br]Then we can be sisters.
02:59:31.70,02:59:34.04
Well, I'll think about it.
02:59:35.91,02:59:38.43
That'll be Bernie.
02:59:39.68,02:59:41.94
- Hi.[br]- Hi. Sorry I'm late.
02:59:42.05,02:59:44.95
Bollocksed up at work again, I fear.
02:59:45.05,02:59:47.58
- Millions down the drain.[br]- Well done.
02:59:47.69,02:59:50.78
- Bernie, this is Anna.[br]- Hello, Anna. Delighted to meet you.
02:59:50.89,02:59:54.76
-And you.[br]-Honey bunny, Happy birthday toyou
02:59:54.86,02:59:57.62
- Hi, Bella.[br]- Hi.
02:59:57.73,03:00:01.36
Um, it-- it-- it's a hat.[br]You don't have to wear it or anything.
03:00:01.43,03:00:04.37
- Hi, Will.[br]- Hi.
03:00:07.31,03:00:09.93
- Hi.[br]- What ?
03:00:10.04,03:00:11.98
- Wine, Bernie ?[br]- Mm.
03:00:12.08,03:00:14.48
You haven't slept with her, have you ?
03:00:14.58,03:00:16.98
That is a cheap question, and[br]the answer is, or course, no comment.
03:00:17.08,03:00:18.98
- No comment means "yes."[br]- No, it doesn't.
03:00:19.08,03:00:20.98
- Do you ever masturbate ?[br]- Defi nitely no comment.
03:00:21.09,03:00:23.71
- You see, it means "yes."[br]- Oh, my God !
03:00:23.79,03:00:28.32
So, uh, tell me,[br]um, Anna, what do you do ?
03:00:28.43,03:00:32.16
- I'm an actress.[br]- Oh, splendid.
03:00:32.26,03:00:34.26
What do you do ?
03:00:34.33,03:00:38.10
I'm actually in the stock market myself,[br]so, uh, not really similar fields.
03:00:38.17,03:00:41.30
Though, um-- um, I have done[br]the odd bit ofamateur stuff.
03:00:41.41,03:00:45.84
Um-- uh, P. G. Wodehouse.[br]Farce, all that, you know.
03:00:45.94,03:00:48.57
"Careful there, Vicar."
03:00:48.65,03:00:51.91
Always imagined it's a pretty tough job,[br]though, acting.
03:00:51.98,03:00:55.98
- The wages are a scandal, aren't they ?[br]- They can be.
03:00:56.09,03:00:58.02
I see friends from university--[br]clever chaps.
03:00:58.12,03:01:00.02
Been in the business longer than you.
03:01:00.13,03:01:04.86
They're scraping by on seven,[br]eight thousand a year.
03:01:04.96,03:01:07.26
You know, it's no life.
03:01:07.33,03:01:11.70
- What sort ofacting do you do ?[br]- Films, mainly.
03:01:11.80,03:01:16.67
Oh, splendid. Oh, well done.[br]How's the pay in movies ?
03:01:16.78,03:01:21.64
I mean, last fi lm you did,[br]what did you get paid ?
03:01:21.71,03:01:23.98
Fifteen million dollars.
03:01:25.02,03:01:26.95
Right.
03:01:27.02,03:01:31.22
So that's, well, fairly good.
03:01:31.32,03:01:33.35
Right, lthink we're ready.
03:01:35.46,03:01:37.36
Bella, can you tell me[br]where I can fi nd--
03:01:37.46,03:01:39.49
Oh, sorry.[br]It's down the corridor on the right.
03:01:39.56,03:01:41.66
I'll show you.
03:01:44.57,03:01:47.06
Quickly, quickly.[br]Talk very, very quickly.
03:01:47.17,03:01:48.73
What are you doing here[br]with Anna Scott ?
03:01:48.84,03:01:50.83
- Anna Scott ?[br]- Yes. Shut up !
03:01:50.91,03:01:52.90
- What, the fi lm star ?[br]- Shh !
03:01:53.01,03:01:55.57
- Oh, God ![br]- What ?
03:01:55.68,03:01:58.51
- Oh, God. Oh, goddy God.[br]- What did you say to her ?
03:01:58.58,03:02:02.04
I don't believe it.[br]I actually walked into the loo with her.
03:02:02.15,03:02:04.99
I was still chatting[br]when she started unbuttoning herjeans.
03:02:05.06,03:02:07.49
- She had to ask me to leave.[br]- Oh, God.
03:02:07.56,03:02:09.55
So you knew who she was ?
03:02:09.59,03:02:11.86
Ofcourse I did, but he didn't.
03:02:11.93,03:02:16.03
Well, not instantly, but I-- I--[br]I got away with it.
03:02:19.07,03:02:23.84
- What do you think ofthe guinea-fowl ?[br]- I'm a vegetarian.
03:02:23.91,03:02:26.34
Oh, God.
03:02:26.41,03:02:29.21
So, how's the guinea-fowl ?
03:02:29.28,03:02:32.68
Best guinea-fowl[br]I've ever tasted.
03:03:06.46,03:03:10.42
Havingyou here, Anna, firmly[br]establishes what l've long suspected--
03:03:10.53,03:03:13.30
that we really are the most[br]desperate lot of underachievers.
03:03:13.40,03:03:16.30
- Shame.[br]- I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
03:03:16.41,03:03:19.77
ln fact, lthinkit's something[br]we should takepride in.
03:03:19.88,03:03:23.11
I'm gonna give the last brownie[br]as a prize...
03:03:23.21,03:03:25.58
to the saddest act here.
03:03:25.65,03:03:28.38
- Uh-oh.[br]- Bern.
03:03:28.45,03:03:31.65
Yeah, allright.[br]Well, obviously, it's me, isn 't it ?
03:03:31.75,03:03:34.81
I mean, I work in the city in a job[br]I don't understand,
03:03:34.92,03:03:37.32
and everyone keeps[br]getting promoted above me.
03:03:37.43,03:03:39.95
I haven't had a girlfriend since--[br]well, since puberty.
03:03:40.06,03:03:43.09
And... nobody fancies me.
03:03:43.17,03:03:45.73
And ifthese cheeks get any chubbier,[br]they never will.
03:03:45.80,03:03:49.60
- Nonsense. I fancy you.[br]- Really ?
03:03:49.67,03:03:52.27
Yeah. Orldid[br]beforeyougotso fat.
03:03:52.34,03:03:55.28
Yousee.[br]Andunless l'm much mistaken,
03:03:55.34,03:03:57.97
yourjob still pays you[br]rather a lot of money...
03:03:58.08,03:04:00.48
whilst Honey here[br]earns 20 pence a week...
03:04:00.58,03:04:03.35
flogging her guts out[br]in London's worst record store.
03:04:03.45,03:04:06.58
Yes ! And I haven't got hair.[br]I've got feathers.
03:04:06.66,03:04:10.49
And I've got funny goggly eyes.[br]And I'm attracted to cruel men.
03:04:10.59,03:04:13.12
And, actually,[br]no one willmarry me...
03:04:13.20,03:04:16.32
because, um, my boosies[br]have actually started shrinking.
03:04:16.43,03:04:18.83
- Yousee, it's incrediblysad.[br]- But on the otherhand,
03:04:18.93,03:04:20.66
her best friend is Anna Scott.
03:04:20.77,03:04:24.21
That's true. I can't deny it.[br]She needs me. What can I say ?
03:04:25.37,03:04:28.97
And most of her limbs work, whereas[br]I'm stuck in this thing day and night,
03:04:29.04,03:04:31.04
in a house full of ramps.
03:04:31.15,03:04:34.01
And to add insult[br]to serious injury,
03:04:34.12,03:04:39.35
I've totally given up smoking,[br]my favorite thing.
03:04:39.45,03:04:43.79
And, um, well, the truth is,
03:04:43.86,03:04:46.05
we can't have a baby.
03:04:51.73,03:04:53.83
Oh, Belle.
03:04:53.90,03:04:57.36
C'est la vie.
03:04:59.04,03:05:02.91
Still, um, we're lucky in lots ofways.
03:05:03.01,03:05:06.00
But surely that's worth a brownie.
03:05:07.58,03:05:12.85
Well, I don't know.[br]Look at William.
03:05:12.92,03:05:16.08
- Veryunsuccessfulprofessionally.[br]- That's true.
03:05:16.19,03:05:21.03
Divorced. Used to be handsome,[br]now kind ofsquidgy round the edges.
03:05:22.23,03:05:25.03
Andabsolutely certain never[br]to hearfromAnna again...
03:05:25.10,03:05:28.16
- onceshe's heard that his[br]nickname atschool was--[br]- Floppy.
03:05:28.24,03:05:31.40
You did.[br]I can't believe it, you did.
03:05:31.51,03:05:34.87
Thanks very much. Thankyou.[br]Well, at least I get the last brownie.
03:05:34.94,03:05:36.88
lthinkso, yes.
03:05:36.95,03:05:38.91
Well, wait.[br]What about me ?
03:05:40.52,03:05:44.54
I'm sorry ?[br]You thinkyou deserve the brownie ?
03:05:44.62,03:05:48.85
Well, a shot at it at least, huh ?
03:05:48.92,03:05:51.86
You'll have to prove it.[br]This is a very, very good brownie.
03:05:51.93,03:05:54.59
I'm gonna fi ght for it.
03:05:54.70,03:05:58.03
I've been on a diet[br]every day since I was 1 9,
03:05:58.10,03:06:01.43
which basically means[br]I've been hungry for a decade.
03:06:03.71,03:06:07.27
I've had a series of not-nice[br]boyfriends, one ofwhom hit me.
03:06:07.38,03:06:10.40
Uh, andeverytime[br]lget my heart broken,
03:06:10.48,03:06:14.81
the newspapers splash it about[br]as though it's entertainment.
03:06:16.82,03:06:21.98
And... it's taken two rather painful,[br]um, operations...
03:06:22.09,03:06:24.06
to get me looking like this.
03:06:24.13,03:06:27.25
- Really ?[br]- Really.
03:06:29.43,03:06:34.16
Andone day not long from now,[br]my looks willgo,
03:06:34.27,03:06:37.10
they will discover I can't act,
03:06:37.17,03:06:42.01
and I will become[br]some sad, middle-aged woman...
03:06:42.11,03:06:46.95
who... looks a bit like someone[br]who was famous for a while.
03:06:54.86,03:06:57.32
No, nice try, gorgeous,[br]but you don't fool anyone.
03:07:00.10,03:07:02.03
Pathetic effort[br]to hog the brownie.
03:07:04.03,03:07:07.47
- Thankyou for such a terrific time.[br]- I'm delighted.
03:07:08.94,03:07:11.84
- That's a great tie.[br]- Now you're lying.
03:07:11.94,03:07:14.53
Okay, it's true.[br]I told you I was bad at acting.
03:07:14.64,03:07:17.04
- It was lovely to meet you.[br]- Yeah, and you. And you.
03:07:17.15,03:07:19.88
I'll wait until you've gone[br]before I tell him you're a vegetarian.
03:07:24.35,03:07:27.84
- Good night.[br]- I'm so sorry about the loo thing.
03:07:27.96,03:07:30.45
I meant to leave.[br]I just--
03:07:30.53,03:07:32.96
Ring me ifyou want someone[br]to go shopping with.
03:07:33.03,03:07:36.56
I know lots of nice, cheap places,[br]not that money is necessarily--
03:07:36.67,03:07:38.57
It wasjust so nice to meet you.
03:07:38.67,03:07:41.53
- Happy birthday. You're my style guru.[br]- Thankyou.
03:07:41.64,03:07:43.73
- Sorry. Can I just--[br]- Oh.
03:07:43.84,03:07:45.74
- Thanks.[br]- Leave her.
03:07:45.84,03:07:47.74
- Good night, everyone.[br]- Bye.
03:07:47.84,03:07:50.74
Max, Belle,[br]we'll see you in a couple ofdays.
03:07:50.85,03:07:53.34
- Thankyou, everybody. Call us.[br]- Bye, guys.
03:07:53.42,03:07:56.08
- Bye, Anna.[br]- Love your work.
03:07:56.18,03:07:58.58
Bye, Hon.
03:08:05.03,03:08:08.93
Sorry. They always do that[br]when I leave the house.
03:08:09.03,03:08:12.69
It's a stupid thing.[br]I hate it.
03:08:22.78,03:08:25.44
- "Floppy," huh ?[br]- It's the hair.
03:08:25.55,03:08:27.95
- Mm-hmm.[br]- It's to do with the hair.
03:08:30.55,03:08:32.85
Why is she in a wheelchair ?
03:08:32.92,03:08:37.36
Uh, because she had an accident[br]about 1 8 months ago.
03:08:37.43,03:08:40.59
And the pregnancy thing,[br]is that to do with the accident ?
03:08:40.70,03:08:42.09
You know, I'm not sure.
03:08:42.20,03:08:45.46
I don't think they tried for kids[br]before, as fate would have it.
03:08:53.98,03:08:56.97
Do you want to, um--
03:08:57.08,03:09:00.21
My place isjust, um--
03:09:00.28,03:09:02.44
Too complicated.
03:09:02.55,03:09:04.81
That's fi ne.
03:09:09.76,03:09:11.92
Busy tomorrow ?
03:09:14.00,03:09:17.43
- I thought you were leaving tomorrow.[br]- I was.
03:09:20.27,03:09:22.33
All these streets round here have...
03:09:22.44,03:09:24.91
these mysterious communal gardens[br]in the middle ofthem.
03:09:24.97,03:09:27.34
- They're like little villages.[br]- Let's go in.
03:09:27.44,03:09:30.00
Ah, no, that's the point.[br]They're private villages.
03:09:30.11,03:09:33.01
Only the people who live round the edges[br]are allowed in.
03:09:33.11,03:09:36.41
Oh. You abide by rules like that ?
03:09:36.48,03:09:38.82
I don't. No, no.[br]But others do.
03:09:38.92,03:09:41.29
I just do what I want.
03:09:41.36,03:09:44.29
Um-- Right.
03:09:47.60,03:09:50.43
Whoopsidaisies.
03:09:50.50,03:09:53.02
What did you say ?
03:09:53.13,03:09:55.76
- Nothing.[br]- Yes, you did.
03:09:55.84,03:09:59.97
- No, I didn't.[br]- You said, "Whoopsidaisies."
03:10:00.04,03:10:03.34
No one says, "Whoopsidaisies," do they ?[br]I mean, unless they're--
03:10:03.45,03:10:06.78
There is no "unless." Because no one[br]has said "Whoopsidaisies" for 50 years.
03:10:06.85,03:10:10.72
And even then it was-- it wasjust[br]little girls with blonde ringlets.
03:10:10.82,03:10:14.98
Exactly. Right.[br]So here we go again.
03:10:16.89,03:10:19.83
Oh ! Oh ! Whoopsidaisies.
03:10:21.40,03:10:24.02
Yeah, well, it's a disease.[br]It's a clinical thing.
03:10:24.13,03:10:27.86
I'm taking pills and having injections.[br]And I'm told it won't last long.
03:10:27.97,03:10:30.90
- Okay, stand aside.[br]- I don't think that's a good idea.
03:10:31.01,03:10:34.00
Really, it's quite, um, tricky.[br]Anna.
03:10:35.68,03:10:39.84
Anna, don't. It's harder than it--[br]No, it's not. It's easy.
03:10:47.92,03:10:49.86
Come on, Flopsy.
03:10:49.92,03:10:52.09
Right.
03:10:52.19,03:10:54.68
All right.
03:10:54.76,03:10:58.72
Oh, bugger.
03:10:58.83,03:11:02.33
Oh, God,[br]this could be very unpleasant.
03:11:06.04,03:11:09.84
Ay ![br]Bugger, bugger.
03:11:13.38,03:11:18.69
Now what in the world in this garden[br]could make that ordeal worthwhile ?
03:11:31.94,03:11:34.67
Nice garden.
03:12:07.04,03:12:09.97
"ForJune who loved this garden.
03:12:10.07,03:12:13.37
FromJoseph who always sat beside her."
03:12:17.08,03:12:20.41
Some people do spend[br]their whole lives together.
03:12:54.85,03:12:56.79
Come and sit with me.
03:13:09.53,03:13:12.20
Bollocks ! Bollocks !
03:13:12.30,03:13:15.17
- Have you seen my glasses ?[br]- No, afraid not.
03:13:15.27,03:13:19.44
Big, big bollocks ![br]Average day, my glasses are everywhere.
03:13:19.51,03:13:21.94
Everywhere I look[br]there's a pair of glasses.
03:13:22.01,03:13:24.71
But when I want to go to the cinema,[br]they've vanished.
03:13:24.82,03:13:26.72
It's one of life's real cruelties.
03:13:26.82,03:13:30.28
That's compared to, like,[br]earthquakes in the Far East[br]or testicular cancer, is it ?
03:13:30.35,03:13:32.69
Oh, shit.[br]Is that the time ?
03:13:32.79,03:13:36.35
Thanks for all your help[br]on the glasses thing.
03:13:36.46,03:13:38.79
Oh, you're welcome.[br]Did you fi nd them ?
03:13:38.86,03:13:40.83
- Sort of.[br]- Great.
03:14:11.03,03:14:12.93
So who left who ?
03:14:13.03,03:14:15.90
- Uh, she left me.[br]- Why ?
03:14:16.00,03:14:19.27
- She saw through me.[br]- Uh-oh.
03:14:19.37,03:14:19.77
That's not good.
03:14:19.77,03:14:22.67
That's not good.
03:14:22.74,03:14:24.94
You can give me[br]Anna Scott any day.
03:14:25.04,03:14:27.94
I didn't like her last fi lm. Fell asleep[br]as soon as the lights went down.
03:14:28.05,03:14:29.95
I don't really care[br]what the fi lm's like.
03:14:30.05,03:14:32.74
Any fi lm with her in,[br]it's fi ne by me.
03:14:34.79,03:14:36.95
She's not my type at all.[br]lpreferthe otherone.
03:14:37.05,03:14:39.55
You know, blonde, sweet-looking.
03:14:39.62,03:14:41.56
You know, what's-her-name.
03:14:41.63,03:14:43.92
Has an orgasm every time[br]you take her out for a cup ofcoffee.
03:14:44.03,03:14:46.12
Meg Ryan.
03:14:46.23,03:14:49.63
No, she's too wholesome.[br]Thepoint about Miss Scott is...
03:14:49.73,03:14:52.64
she's got that twinkle in her eyes.
03:14:52.74,03:14:55.40
Probably drug-induced.[br]Spends most of her life in bloody rehab.
03:14:55.47,03:14:58.07
Well, whatever.[br]She's so clearly up forit.
03:14:58.14,03:15:01.08
Yousee, mostgirls, they're alllike,[br]"Stay away, chum. "
03:15:01.15,03:15:05.24
ButAnna,[br]she is absolutelygagging forit.
03:15:07.32,03:15:09.79
Doyou knowthat in over50.%[br]ofthe languages,
03:15:09.89,03:15:13.65
the wordfor "actress"is[br]thesame as the wordfor "prostitute" ?
03:15:13.76,03:15:16.39
Where didyouget that from ?
03:15:16.46,03:15:21.12
AndAnna isyourdefinitive actress,
03:15:21.23,03:15:25.00
someone really filthy[br]you canjust flip overandstart again.
03:15:26.60,03:15:29.84
- Right, that's it. Sorry.[br]- No, no. There's really no point.
03:15:32.81,03:15:35.01
Um, sorry--[br]sorry to disturb you guys.
03:15:35.11,03:15:37.51
- But, um--[br]- Can I help ?
03:15:37.62,03:15:41.14
Well, yeah. I wish I hadn't overheard[br]your conversation, but I did.
03:15:41.25,03:15:43.81
And, um, I just think, you know,
03:15:43.92,03:15:46.82
thepersonyou're talking about[br]is a realperson.
03:15:46.92,03:15:49.86
And I think she probably deserves[br]a little bit more consideration...
03:15:49.96,03:15:52.62
rather than havingjerks like you[br]drooling over her.
03:15:52.70,03:15:55.36
Oh, sod off, mate.[br]What are you, her dad ?
03:16:03.11,03:16:05.37
- I'm sorry.[br]- No, I love that you tried.
03:16:05.48,03:16:08.34
Time was I'd have done the same thing.[br]In fact--
03:16:13.32,03:16:15.22
Hi.
03:16:16.69,03:16:18.71
Oh, my God.
03:16:18.82,03:16:21.31
I just wanted to apologize for[br]my friend. He's very sensitive.
03:16:21.39,03:16:22.86
Uh, look, I'm sorr--
03:16:22.96,03:16:25.86
No, no, leave it. It's, you know--[br]I'm sure you didn't mean any harm.
03:16:25.96,03:16:28.40
I'm sure it wasjust friendly banter.
03:16:28.50,03:16:31.40
I'm sure you guys have dicks[br]the size of peanuts. Enjoy your dinner.
03:16:31.50,03:16:34.49
The tuna's really good.
03:16:36.81,03:16:40.21
I shouldn't have done that.[br]I shouldn't have done that.
03:16:40.31,03:16:43.21
- No, you were brilliant.[br]- I'm rash and I'm stupid.
03:16:43.31,03:16:46.37
What am I doing with you ?
03:16:46.48,03:16:49.08
Uh, I don't know, I'm afraid.
03:16:49.19,03:16:51.09
I don't either.
03:16:55.59,03:16:58.19
Here we are.
03:16:58.26,03:17:00.20
Yes.
03:17:01.73,03:17:04.06
- Well, look--[br]- Do you wanna come up ?
03:17:06.37,03:17:11.24
Well, there seems to be...[br]lots of reasons why I shouldn't, so--
03:17:11.34,03:17:14.24
There are lots of reasons.
03:17:17.55,03:17:20.75
Do you wanna come up ?
03:17:24.19,03:17:26.38
Give me five minutes ?
03:17:48.48,03:17:51.81
To be able to do that[br]is such a wonderful thing.
03:17:51.92,03:17:53.91
- You've got to go.[br]- Why ?
03:17:53.98,03:17:59.12
Because my boyfriend who was in America[br]is, in fact, now in the next room.
03:17:59.22,03:18:01.42
- Boyfriend ?[br]- Yes.
03:18:01.49,03:18:05.09
- Baby, who is it ?[br]- Uh, it's, uh--
03:18:06.16,03:18:08.96
- Uh--[br]- Uh, room service.
03:18:09.07,03:18:13.66
Oh. How you doing ? I thought you guys[br]always wore those, uh, penguin coats.
03:18:14.77,03:18:16.67
Usually we do.
03:18:16.77,03:18:19.61
But I wasjust, uh--[br]just changed to go home.
03:18:19.68,03:18:23.91
And, um, then I thought[br]I'd take this fi nal call.
03:18:23.98,03:18:26.68
Oh, great. Ifyou don't mind,[br]I would like something too.
03:18:26.78,03:18:29.34
Could you bring me up some[br]really, really cold water ?
03:18:29.45,03:18:31.82
I'll see what I can do.
03:18:31.92,03:18:36.33
- Still, not sparkling.[br]- Absolutely. Ice-cold still water.
03:18:36.43,03:18:39.83
Unless it's illegal in the U.K. to serve[br]beverages below room temperature.
03:18:39.93,03:18:43.80
I wouldn't want you going tojail[br]just to satisfy my whim, now.
03:18:43.87,03:18:45.66
- No, I'm sure it's fi ne.[br]- Thankyou.
03:18:47.14,03:18:48.60
Hey, one more thing.
03:18:48.67,03:18:51.16
Could you adios these dirty dishes[br]and take out that trash too ?
03:18:54.18,03:18:56.11
- Uh--[br]- Right.
03:18:56.18,03:18:58.61
No. No. Um, don't-- don't--[br]don't do that.
03:18:58.68,03:19:01.05
I don't think[br]it's hisjob to clear.
03:19:01.15,03:19:05.35
Oh, l'm sorry. l'm sorry.[br]What'syourname, man ?
03:19:06.66,03:19:08.56
Bernie.
03:19:08.66,03:19:10.85
Oh, listen, Bernie.
03:19:10.96,03:19:14.23
Thankyou.[br]I really appreciate it.
03:19:14.33,03:19:16.23
Hey, you.
03:19:20.67,03:19:25.57
So, tell me. Tell me, tell me.[br]Good surprise or nasty surprise ?
03:19:25.68,03:19:28.47
- Good surprise.[br]- Oh, you're such a liar.
03:19:28.55,03:19:30.98
She hates surprises.[br]Hey, what areyougonna order?
03:19:31.05,03:19:33.98
- Huh ?[br]- From him. What are you gonna order ?
03:19:34.05,03:19:36.32
Um, I haven't decided yet.
03:19:36.39,03:19:38.55
Oh, well, don't overdo it.
03:19:38.66,03:19:42.68
I don't want people saying,[br]"There goes that famous actor[br]with the big, fat girlfriend."
03:19:45.00,03:19:47.05
I should leave.
03:19:53.27,03:19:56.73
This is a fairly strange reality[br]to be faced with.
03:19:58.08,03:20:00.04
I'm so sorry.
03:20:02.75,03:20:05.04
I don't know...
03:20:05.12,03:20:07.41
what to say.
03:20:07.52,03:20:09.75
Well,
03:20:09.85,03:20:11.95
I think, um,
03:20:12.06,03:20:15.25
"good-bye" is traditional.
03:22:17.93,03:22:20.27
Come on.
03:22:20.37,03:22:23.24
Open up.
03:22:23.34,03:22:24.91
This is me.[br]Spikey.
03:22:24.91,03:22:27.07
This is me.[br]Spikey.
03:22:28.61,03:22:32.84
I'm in contact with some quite[br]important spiritual vibrations.
03:22:34.52,03:22:38.35
Come on.[br]Hit me with it.
03:22:42.09,03:22:44.96
- There's this girl--[br]- Aha.
03:22:45.06,03:22:48.86
See, I been gettin' a female vibe.[br]Good.
03:22:48.93,03:22:51.56
Speak on, dear friend.
03:22:51.63,03:22:54.19
She's someone who...
03:22:54.27,03:22:57.36
can't be mine, and, uh,
03:22:59.58,03:23:05.04
it's as if I've taken love heroin,[br]and now I can't ever have it again.
03:23:05.11,03:23:08.31
I've opened Pandora's box[br]and there's trouble inside.
03:23:12.42,03:23:14.91
Yeah.
03:23:14.99,03:23:17.59
Tricky.
03:23:17.66,03:23:19.59
Tricky.
03:23:21.83,03:23:25.06
I knew a girl at school[br]called Pandora.
03:23:27.90,03:23:30.93
Never got to see her box or--
03:23:31.01,03:23:32.94
Right.
03:23:33.01,03:23:36.74
Right. Thanks. That's very helpful.
03:23:38.51,03:23:42.11
You didn't know[br]she had a boyfriend ?
03:23:44.75,03:23:46.69
Why ? Did you ?
03:23:48.26,03:23:50.42
Oh, bloody hell.[br]ldon't believe it.
03:23:50.49,03:23:54.62
My whole life ruinedbecause[br]ldon't read Hello magazine.
03:23:54.70,03:23:58.53
Let's face facts.[br]This was always a no-win situation.
03:24:00.00,03:24:02.49
Anna's... a goddess.
03:24:02.61,03:24:05.63
You know what happens to mortals[br]who get involved with the gods.
03:24:05.71,03:24:08.51
- Buggered, is it ?[br]- Every time.
03:24:08.61,03:24:13.48
But don't despair. lthinklhave[br]thesolution toyourproblems.
03:24:13.55,03:24:16.31
- Really ?[br]- Mm-hmm. Her name is Tessa.
03:24:16.39,03:24:18.22
She works in the Contracts Department.
03:24:18.32,03:24:21.62
The hair, I admit,[br]is unfashionably frizzy,
03:24:21.69,03:24:25.65
but she's bright as a button and kisses[br]like a nymphomaniac on death row.
03:24:25.73,03:24:28.03
Apparently.
03:24:30.57,03:24:33.19
Now... try.
03:24:36.24,03:24:38.40
lgot completely lost.
03:24:38.51,03:24:41.17
lt's verydifficult, isn 't it ?[br]Everything'sgot the word[br]"Kensington"in it.
03:24:41.24,03:24:44.65
Kensington Park Road. Kensington Garden.[br]Kensington bloody Park Garden.
03:24:44.71,03:24:47.21
- Tessa, this is Bella, my wife.[br]- Hello.
03:24:47.32,03:24:49.38
- You're in a wheelchair.[br]- That's right.
03:24:49.49,03:24:51.89
And this is William.
03:24:51.99,03:24:54.32
- Hello, William.[br]- Hi.
03:24:54.39,03:24:57.42
- Max has told me everything about you.[br]- Has he ?
03:24:57.53,03:25:00.16
Oh, yes.[br]You are a naughty boy.
03:25:00.23,03:25:02.53
- Wine ?[br]- Oh, yes, please.
03:25:02.60,03:25:04.66
Come on, Willie.[br]Let's get sloshed.
03:25:04.73,03:25:06.76
- Red or white ?[br]- Red.
03:25:09.44,03:25:11.77
Keziah.
03:25:13.28,03:25:16.54
- Some woodcock ?[br]- No, thankyou. I'm a fruitarian.
03:25:20.55,03:25:23.35
What is a fruitarian, exactly ?
03:25:23.42,03:25:27.22
We believe that[br]fruits and vegetables have feelings,
03:25:27.29,03:25:29.59
so we think cooking is cruel.
03:25:29.69,03:25:33.69
We only eat things that have actually[br]fallen from the tree or bush,
03:25:33.76,03:25:35.96
that are, in fact, dead already.
03:25:37.77,03:25:42.03
Ah. Oh, right.
03:25:42.11,03:25:44.04
Right.
03:25:44.11,03:25:46.27
So, um, these carrots ?
03:25:46.38,03:25:48.97
- Have been murdered, yes.[br]- Murdered.
03:25:50.55,03:25:53.64
Poor old carrots.[br]That's--
03:25:53.75,03:25:55.65
That's beastly.
03:25:59.06,03:26:02.12
Delicious coffee.
03:26:02.23,03:26:04.75
I'm sorry about the lamb.
03:26:04.83,03:26:09.59
No. I thought it was...[br]really, you know, interesting.
03:26:09.67,03:26:12.73
Interesting means inedible.
03:26:12.80,03:26:16.24
Really inedible. Yes, you're right.
03:26:18.98,03:26:22.74
Well, maybe we'll meet again.
03:26:22.81,03:26:26.48
Yeah, yeah.[br]That would be, uh--
03:26:26.58,03:26:28.52
be great.
03:26:36.03,03:26:37.99
Bye.
03:26:57.05,03:26:59.54
Well ?
03:26:59.65,03:27:01.55
Perfect.
03:27:01.65,03:27:03.85
Absolutely perfect.
03:27:06.32,03:27:09.16
And ?
03:27:09.23,03:27:13.03
I thinkyou've forgotten[br]what an unusual situation you two have.
03:27:15.20,03:27:19.64
To fi nd someone you actually... love,[br]who'll love you.
03:27:19.70,03:27:22.57
The chances are always minuscule.
03:27:24.04,03:27:25.97
Look at me.
03:27:26.04,03:27:30.57
Apart from the American, I've only[br]loved two girls, both total disasters.
03:27:30.68,03:27:32.71
- That's not fair.[br]- One ofthem marries me,[br]then leaves me...
03:27:32.82,03:27:35.84
fasterthanyou can say[br]"lndianaJones. "
03:27:35.92,03:27:39.35
And the other-- who seriously[br]ought to have known better--
03:27:39.42,03:27:41.39
casually marries my best friend.
03:27:41.49,03:27:45.59
- She still loves you, though.[br]- In a depressingly asexual way.
03:27:47.76,03:27:49.99
I never fancied you much, actually.
03:27:50.07,03:27:53.59
Oh, God.
03:27:53.70,03:27:57.37
I loved you.[br]You were terribly funny, but...
03:27:57.44,03:27:59.70
all that kissing my ears.
03:27:59.78,03:28:02.44
ldon't believe it.[br]This isjustgetting worse.
03:28:02.55,03:28:05.24
I shall fi nd myself 30 years from now[br]still sitting on this sofa.
03:28:06.78,03:28:10.55
- Do you wanna stay ?[br]- Yeah. Why not ?
03:28:10.62,03:28:13.42
All that awaits me at home[br]is a masturbating Welshman.
03:28:17.53,03:28:19.55
Here we go.
03:28:19.63,03:28:21.60
- Good night.[br]- Night.
03:28:40.69,03:28:42.75
- See you.[br]- Right.
03:28:51.10,03:28:53.43
Guilty.[br]Very, very guilty.
03:28:53.54,03:28:55.47
So it seems.
03:29:42.95,03:29:45.51
Hi.
03:29:47.19,03:29:49.42
Can I come in ?
03:29:49.49,03:29:51.43
Come in.
03:29:58.70,03:30:01.79
They were taken years ago.
03:30:01.87,03:30:04.81
I know it was--
03:30:04.87,03:30:09.50
But I was poor and--[br]It happens a lot.
03:30:09.61,03:30:11.98
That's not an excuse.[br]I just--
03:30:14.62,03:30:17.78
But to make matters worse,
03:30:17.85,03:30:21.05
it now appears as though...
03:30:21.16,03:30:25.15
someone was fi lming me as well.
03:30:25.23,03:30:28.99
So what was a stupid[br]photo shoot...
03:30:29.06,03:30:31.36
now looks like a porn fi lm.
03:30:33.87,03:30:36.90
The pictures have been sold[br]and they'rejust...
03:30:37.01,03:30:38.91
everywhere.
03:30:42.24,03:30:44.51
I didn't know where to go.
03:30:47.02,03:30:48.92
The hotel's surrounded.
03:30:53.19,03:30:56.49
I know it's been months, but--
03:30:56.56,03:30:58.92
This is the place.
03:31:01.26,03:31:03.56
Thankyou.
03:31:06.77,03:31:09.20
I'm just in London...
03:31:09.27,03:31:12.10
for two days,[br]but what with your papers,
03:31:12.21,03:31:15.11
it's the worst place to be.
03:31:15.21,03:31:19.04
These pictures arejust so horrible,[br]and they're so grainy.
03:31:19.11,03:31:21.05
It makes me look like--
03:31:21.12,03:31:23.18
Don't think about it.
03:31:25.52,03:31:27.78
We'll sort it out.
03:31:30.73,03:31:35.06
What would you like ?[br]Tea ?
03:31:35.13,03:31:37.10
Bath ?
03:31:41.14,03:31:44.30
A bath would be great.
03:31:46.48,03:31:48.41
Oh, Christ alive !
03:31:53.12,03:31:55.48
Brilliant. Fantastic.
03:31:58.99,03:32:01.11
Magnificent.
03:32:07.63,03:32:09.56
You must be Spike.
03:32:23.25,03:32:26.77
- Hi.[br]-Just...
03:32:26.85,03:32:28.78
checkin'.
03:32:33.59,03:32:35.52
Thankyou, God.
03:32:39.36,03:32:41.83
I'm really sorry about last time.
03:32:41.93,03:32:44.30
- Oh--[br]- Hejust flew in.
03:32:44.37,03:32:46.30
- I had no idea.[br]- All right.
03:32:46.37,03:32:50.96
In fact, I had no idea[br]if he was ever gonna fly in again.
03:32:51.04,03:32:54.13
It's not often one[br]has the opportunity to adios...
03:32:54.21,03:32:57.11
the plates of[br]a major Hollywood fi lm star.
03:32:57.18,03:32:59.70
It was, um--[br]It was thrilling for me.
03:33:03.39,03:33:05.35
So how is he ?
03:33:07.46,03:33:09.39
I don't know.
03:33:12.19,03:33:14.13
Itjust got to the point...
03:33:14.20,03:33:17.65
where I couldn't remember[br]any ofthe reasons why we were together.
03:33:18.97,03:33:20.90
And you and love ?
03:33:23.47,03:33:26.64
Oh, well, there's a question, um,
03:33:26.71,03:33:29.23
without an interesting answer.
03:33:33.38,03:33:35.32
I have thought about you.
03:33:37.35,03:33:40.48
- Oh.[br]- lt'sjust that...
03:33:40.56,03:33:44.05
any time I've tried to keep...
03:33:44.16,03:33:47.99
anything normal[br]with a person that was...
03:33:48.06,03:33:50.22
normal,[br]it'sjust been a disaster.
03:33:50.33,03:33:54.67
Listen, I appreciate that.[br]Absolutely.
03:33:54.74,03:33:57.71
So what is that,[br]a filmyou're doing ?
03:33:57.77,03:34:01.90
Um, start in L.A. on Tuesday.
03:34:02.01,03:34:05.04
Would you like me to[br]take you through your lines ?
03:34:05.11,03:34:08.21
Would you ?[br]'Cause it's all talk, talk, talk.
03:34:08.28,03:34:10.44
Hand it over.
03:34:11.75,03:34:15.42
Right.[br]Um, basic plot ?
03:34:15.52,03:34:18.55
I'm a difficult but brilliant[br]junior officer...
03:34:18.63,03:34:23.53
who in about 20 minutes is gonna[br]save the world from nuclear disaster.
03:34:23.60,03:34:25.86
Mm-hmm. Okay.[br]Well done, you.
03:34:25.93,03:34:28.20
"Message from Command. Would you[br]like them to send in the H.K.'s ?"
03:34:28.27,03:34:31.26
No. Turn over four T.R.S.'s[br]and tell them we need radar feedback...
03:34:31.37,03:34:33.27
before the K.F.T.'s return at 1 900.
03:34:33.38,03:34:36.97
Then inform the Pentagon we'll need[br]Black Star cover from 1 000 through 1 2 1 5.
03:34:37.08,03:34:41.04
Andifyousay one wordabout howmany[br]mistakes lmade in thatspeech,[br]l'llpeltyou with olives.
03:34:41.12,03:34:43.71
- Very well, Captain.[br]I'll pass that on straightaway.[br]- Thankyou.
03:34:43.79,03:34:45.72
- How many mistakes did I make ?[br]- Eleven.
03:34:45.79,03:34:50.05
- Damn it. And Wainwright--[br]- Cartwright.
03:34:50.13,03:34:52.29
Cartwright, Wainwright,[br]whateveryour name is,
03:34:52.39,03:34:54.29
I promised littleJimmy[br]I'd be home for his birthday,
03:34:54.40,03:34:56.89
so could you get a message to him[br]that I may be late.
03:34:56.97,03:34:59.13
Certainly.[br]And, uh, littleJohnny ?
03:34:59.23,03:35:01.60
- My son's name isJohnny ?[br]- Yep.
03:35:01.67,03:35:04.40
- Then get a message to him too.[br]- l'lldo what lcan, Captain,
03:35:04.47,03:35:06.41
but lcan'tpromise anything.
03:35:06.47,03:35:11.14
And Cartwright goes.
03:35:11.25,03:35:15.34
- What do you think ?[br]- Gripping. lt's notJaneAusten.
03:35:15.45,03:35:18.42
It's not HenryJames,[br]but it's... gripping.
03:35:18.49,03:35:22.25
- Think I should do HenryJames instead?[br]- You would be brilliant.
03:35:22.32,03:35:27.66
But this writer-- writers--[br]they'repretty damngoodtoo.
03:35:27.76,03:35:30.32
You never get anyone[br]on Wings ofthe Dove saying,
03:35:30.43,03:35:33.20
"Inform the Pentagon[br]we need Black Star cover."
03:35:33.30,03:35:35.20
For me the book is the poorer for it.
03:35:40.51,03:35:42.94
I can't believe you have that picture.
03:35:44.51,03:35:46.95
You like Chagall ?
03:35:47.02,03:35:51.68
I do. It feels like[br]how love should be--
03:35:51.79,03:35:54.48
floating through a dark blue sky.
03:35:54.56,03:35:57.29
With agoat, playing a violin.
03:35:57.36,03:35:59.29
Well, yes.
03:35:59.36,03:36:02.46
Happiness isn't happiness[br]without a violin-playing goat.
03:36:23.54,03:36:25.50
You have big feet.
03:36:28.17,03:36:32.34
Yes.[br]Yes, always have had.
03:36:34.18,03:36:37.77
You know what they say[br]about men with big feet.
03:36:39.05,03:36:41.11
No.[br]What's that ?
03:36:41.19,03:36:44.82
Uh, big feet,
03:36:44.89,03:36:47.55
large... shoes.
03:36:53.40,03:36:55.33
The thing that is so irritating...
03:36:55.40,03:36:58.80
is that now I'm so fierce[br]when it comes to nudity clauses.
03:36:58.87,03:37:01.57
You actually have... clauses[br]in your contract about nudity ?
03:37:01.67,03:37:03.57
Defi nitely.
03:37:03.68,03:37:07.24
"You may show the dent ofthe top ofthe[br]artist's buttocks, but neither cheek."
03:37:07.35,03:37:10.54
Orifthere's[br]a stunt bottom being used...
03:37:10.65,03:37:13.58
"artist must have full consultation."
03:37:13.69,03:37:18.85
- You have a stunt bottom ?[br]- I could have a stunt bottom, yes.
03:37:18.92,03:37:23.36
Are people tempted to go[br]for better bottoms than their own?
03:37:23.43,03:37:26.06
Yeah. I would.[br]This is important stuff.
03:37:26.16,03:37:30.16
It's one hell ofa job, isn't it ?[br]What do you put on your passport ?
03:37:30.24,03:37:32.60
"Profession: Mel Gibson's bottom."
03:37:32.70,03:37:34.87
Actually, Mel does his own ass work.
03:37:34.94,03:37:36.91
- Right.[br]- Why wouldn't he ?
03:37:37.01,03:37:41.07
- Absolutely.[br]- It's delicious.
03:37:41.18,03:37:44.51
What, the ice cream[br]or Mel Gibson's bottom ?
03:37:44.58,03:37:47.42
Both. Equally.
03:37:47.52,03:37:50.11
But you wouldn't necessarily lick both ?
03:37:50.22,03:37:54.56
Well, this is tart.
03:37:54.63,03:37:56.79
And fuzz-free.
03:38:00.90,03:38:03.53
And, uh--
03:38:03.60,03:38:06.26
Bedroom.[br]There's clean sheets.
03:38:16.15,03:38:18.74
Today's been a good day,
03:38:18.82,03:38:21.75
which in the circumstances is...
03:38:21.82,03:38:24.62
unexpected.
03:38:24.72,03:38:26.99
Thankyou.
03:38:30.56,03:38:33.62
Anyway, um,
03:38:33.73,03:38:35.67
time for bed.
03:38:36.84,03:38:38.80
Or sofa bed.
03:38:45.18,03:38:47.15
Good night.
03:38:47.25,03:38:49.18
Good night.
03:39:34.79,03:39:36.73
Oh, my God.
03:39:44.87,03:39:47.30
Hello ?
03:39:47.37,03:39:49.31
Hello.
03:39:51.04,03:39:54.64
-Spike.[br]-I wonder if I could have a little word.
03:39:54.71,03:39:58.01
- Right.[br]- I don't want to interfere or anything,
03:39:58.08,03:40:00.75
but she'sjust split up[br]from her boyfriend, right ?
03:40:00.85,03:40:04.65
- Maybe.[br]- And she's in your house.
03:40:06.16,03:40:09.65
- Yes.[br]- And you get on very well.
03:40:11.36,03:40:14.06
- Yes.[br]- Well, isn't this, perhaps,
03:40:14.17,03:40:16.23
a nice opportunity to...
03:40:20.01,03:40:21.91
slip her one.
03:40:22.01,03:40:23.94
Spike, for God's sakes.[br]She's in trouble. Get a grip.
03:40:24.04,03:40:26.70
You think it's the wrong moment.[br]Fair enough.
03:40:31.88,03:40:33.85
- Do you mind if I have a go ?[br]- Spike !
03:40:33.92,03:40:36.79
- Okay.[br]- I'll talk to you in the morning.
03:40:36.89,03:40:41.62
Okay.[br]Might be too late, but okay.
03:40:51.44,03:40:55.13
Please, sod off.
03:40:55.24,03:40:57.14
- Okay. All right.[br]- No. No, no !
03:40:57.24,03:41:01.04
Wait ! I thought you were,[br]um, someone else.
03:41:02.78,03:41:06.44
I thought you were Spike.[br]I'm thrilled that you're not.
03:42:08.11,03:42:10.05
Wow.
03:42:12.35,03:42:14.28
What ?
03:42:14.35,03:42:16.29
Nothing.
03:42:51.42,03:42:54.09
lt does strike me as,
03:42:54.19,03:42:57.89
well, surreal that I'm allowed[br]to see you naked.
03:42:58.00,03:43:00.93
- You and every person in this country.[br]- I'm sorry.
03:43:02.50,03:43:05.16
What is it about men and nudity, huh ?
03:43:05.24,03:43:07.17
Particularly breasts.
03:43:07.24,03:43:11.90
- Howcanyou beso interestedin them ?[br]- Well--
03:43:12.01,03:43:14.54
But, seriously,[br]they'rejust breasts.
03:43:14.61,03:43:17.45
Every second person[br]in the world has them.
03:43:17.55,03:43:21.25
More than that, when you think about it.[br]Meat Loaf has a very nice pair.
03:43:21.35,03:43:24.79
But they're odd-looking.
03:43:24.89,03:43:27.69
They're for milk.[br]Your mother has them.
03:43:27.76,03:43:31.25
You've seen a thousand ofthem.[br]What's all the fuss about ?
03:43:31.36,03:43:34.59
Actually, I can't think[br]what it is, really.
03:43:34.70,03:43:37.29
Let mejust have a quick look.
03:43:41.94,03:43:44.93
Nope, nope. Beats me.
03:43:48.05,03:43:51.57
Rita Hayworth used to say,
03:43:51.65,03:43:55.38
"They go to bed with Gilda,[br]they wake up with me."
03:43:55.45,03:44:00.58
- Who was Gilda ?[br]- Her most famous part.
03:44:00.66,03:44:03.59
Men went to bed with the dream,
03:44:03.66,03:44:07.32
and they didn't like it[br]when they woke up with the reality.
03:44:08.93,03:44:10.83
Do you feel that way ?
03:44:13.61,03:44:17.30
You are lovelier this morning[br]than you have ever been.
03:44:21.01,03:44:22.95
I'll be right back.
03:44:36.53,03:44:38.46
Breakfast in bed.
03:44:38.53,03:44:42.93
- Oh.[br]- Or it's brunch or lunch or something.
03:44:43.00,03:44:45.70
My God.
03:44:45.80,03:44:47.70
Can I stay a bit longer ?
03:44:50.51,03:44:52.44
Stay forever.
03:44:54.98,03:44:57.21
Okay.[br]Oh. Forgot thejam.
03:45:01.55,03:45:03.95
I'll get thejam,[br]you get the door.
03:45:19.78,03:45:21.65
Jesus Christ.
03:45:24.42,03:45:26.79
What ?
03:45:26.86,03:45:29.19
What is it ?
03:45:29.29,03:45:32.26
- Nothing, really.[br]- You're up to something.
03:45:32.33,03:45:35.20
Anna, no, please!
03:45:37.77,03:45:42.54
My God. And they got a picture ofyou[br]dressed like that.
03:45:42.64,03:45:44.37
Yes.
03:45:46.21,03:45:48.18
Undressed like this, yeah.
03:45:50.01,03:45:53.64
- Morning, darling ones.[br]- It's me. The press are here.
03:45:53.72,03:45:55.95
No, there are hundreds ofthem.
03:45:56.02,03:45:58.65
My brilliant plan[br]was not so brilliant. I know.
03:45:58.72,03:46:01.99
I know. I know.[br]Just get over here.
03:46:02.06,03:46:04.03
Damn it.
03:46:09.20,03:46:12.23
- Um, I wouldn't go outside.[br]- Why not ?
03:46:14.91,03:46:17.57
-Just take my word for it.[br]- Oh.
03:46:40.10,03:46:42.33
How did I look ?[br]Not bad.
03:46:42.40,03:46:46.39
Not at all bad.[br]Well-chosen briefs, I'd say.
03:46:46.50,03:46:49.17
Chicks love grey.
03:46:49.24,03:46:51.90
Nice fi rm buttocks.
03:46:55.88,03:46:57.78
How are you doing ?
03:46:57.88,03:47:00.44
How do you think I'm doing ?
03:47:01.89,03:47:04.12
- I don't know what happened.[br]- I do.
03:47:04.22,03:47:09.12
Your furry friend thought he'd make[br]a buck telling the papers where I was.
03:47:09.23,03:47:11.13
- That's not true.[br]- Really ?
03:47:11.23,03:47:14.56
The entire British press[br]got up this morning and thought,[br]"I know where Anna Scott is.
03:47:14.63,03:47:17.57
She's in that house with the blue door[br]in Notting Hill."
03:47:17.63,03:47:20.40
Then you go out[br]in your goddamn underwear !
03:47:20.47,03:47:23.44
-I went out in my goddamn underwear too.[br]-Get out !
03:47:23.54,03:47:25.57
Sorry.
03:47:25.64,03:47:29.48
- I'm so sorry.[br]- This is such an unbelievable mess.
03:47:29.58,03:47:32.48
I come to you to protect myself[br]against more crappy gossip,
03:47:32.58,03:47:34.48
and now I've landed in it[br]all over again.
03:47:34.58,03:47:37.42
For God's sake, I've got a boyfriend !
03:47:37.49,03:47:41.22
- You have ?[br]- As far as they're concerned I do.
03:47:41.29,03:47:46.13
And now, tomorrow there'll be[br]pictures ofyou in every newspaper[br]from here to Timbuktu !
03:47:46.23,03:47:49.16
I know that, but...[br]just let's stay calm.
03:47:49.27,03:47:53.00
You stay calm ! This is a perfect[br]situation foryou, isn't it?
03:47:53.10,03:47:55.44
Minimum input, maximum publicity.
03:47:55.51,03:47:58.10
Everywhere you go, people will say,[br]"Well done, you.
03:47:58.18,03:48:01.98
You slept with that actress.[br]We saw the pictures."
03:48:02.08,03:48:04.81
- That is spectacularly unfair.[br]- That's yours.
03:48:04.92,03:48:06.82
Maybe it'll even help business.
03:48:06.92,03:48:09.48
Buy a boring book about Egypt[br]from the guy that screwed Anna Scott.
03:48:09.59,03:48:13.35
Stop ! Stop ! I beg you !
03:48:13.46,03:48:15.69
Calm down.[br]How about a cup oftea ?
03:48:15.79,03:48:17.85
I don't want[br]a goddamn cup oftea.
03:48:19.26,03:48:21.92
I just wanna go home.
03:48:22.00,03:48:24.76
Spike, see who that is,[br]andputsome clothes on, forGod's sake.
03:48:24.84,03:48:27.46
Looks like a chauffeur to me.
03:48:27.54,03:48:29.97
Spike owes you[br]an expensive dinner or holiday,
03:48:30.04,03:48:33.10
depending who's got the brains[br]to get the going rate on betrayal.
03:48:33.18,03:48:35.11
That is not true.[br]Wait a minute.
03:48:35.18,03:48:37.84
This is crazy behaviour.
03:48:37.95,03:48:41.18
Can't wejust[br]laugh about all this ?
03:48:41.28,03:48:44.98
Seriously. In the huge sweep ofthings,[br]this stuff doesn't matter.
03:48:45.06,03:48:48.29
What he's gonna say next is[br]there's people starving in the Sudan.
03:48:48.36,03:48:52.12
Well, there are, and we don't[br]have to go anywhere near that far.
03:48:52.20,03:48:55.13
My best friend slipped down stairs,[br]cracked her back...
03:48:55.20,03:48:57.72
and she's in a wheelchair[br]for the rest of her life.
03:48:57.83,03:49:02.17
All I'm asking for is[br]a normal amount of perspective.
03:49:02.24,03:49:04.73
You're right.[br]Ofcourse, you're right.
03:49:04.84,03:49:07.64
It'sjust that I've dealt[br]with this garbage for ten years.
03:49:07.71,03:49:09.65
You've had it for ten minutes.
03:49:09.71,03:49:13.17
Our perspectives are very different.
03:49:13.25,03:49:16.74
Today's newspapers will be lining[br]tomorrow's wastepaper bin.
03:49:16.85,03:49:18.98
- Excuse me ?[br]- You know.
03:49:19.06,03:49:21.22
It'sjust one day.
03:49:21.32,03:49:24.89
Tomorrow, today's papers[br]will all have been thrown out.
03:49:25.00,03:49:27.16
You really don't get it.
03:49:27.23,03:49:29.66
This story will be fi led.
03:49:29.73,03:49:34.60
Every time anyone writes anything[br]about me, they'll dig up these photos.
03:49:34.70,03:49:36.70
Newspapers last forever.
03:49:36.77,03:49:39.61
I'll regret this forever.
03:49:41.75,03:49:43.68
Right.
03:49:46.95,03:49:49.35
Right.
03:49:49.42,03:49:51.68
I will feel the opposite,
03:49:51.76,03:49:55.89
ifthat's okay by you, and, uh,
03:49:55.96,03:49:58.95
always be glad that you...[br]came to stay.
03:50:01.46,03:50:04.40
But, um, you're probably right.
03:50:04.47,03:50:06.40
You better go.
03:50:47.11,03:50:49.34
Was it you ?
03:50:51.68,03:50:56.52
I may have told a few people[br]down at the pub.
03:50:58.32,03:51:00.26
Right.
03:52:49.93,03:52:52.60
Have I got something foryou. Something[br]which will make you love me so much,
03:52:52.60,03:52:53.69
Have I got something foryou. Something[br]which will make you love me so much,
03:52:53.77,03:52:57.07
you will want to hug me every day[br]for the rest of my life.
03:52:57.14,03:53:00.08
Blimey. What is it ?
03:53:00.14,03:53:02.37
Phone number ofAnna Scott's agent[br]in London...
03:53:02.45,03:53:04.97
and her agent in New York.
03:53:08.86,03:53:12.23
Listen, you think about her all[br]the time. Now you can ring her.
03:53:12.33,03:53:15.86
Yeah. Brilliant. Thanks.
03:53:15.93,03:53:18.92
I'll see you tonight.[br]Hey, Marty. Ooh ! Sexy cardi.
03:53:45.06,03:53:49.36
Shh ! Hello ![br]I have a little speech to make.
03:53:49.43,03:53:54.30
I won't stand up because[br]I can't... be bothered.
03:53:54.40,03:53:59.14
Exactly a year ago today, this man here[br]started the fi nest restaurant in London.
03:53:59.24,03:54:01.14
- Hear, hear.[br]- Thankyou very much.
03:54:01.24,03:54:03.77
Unfortunately,[br]no one ever came to eat here.
03:54:03.88,03:54:06.71
It's a tiny hiccup.
03:54:06.78,03:54:10.08
And so we have to face the fact[br]that from next week,
03:54:10.15,03:54:12.09
we must fi nd somewhere new to eat.
03:54:13.46,03:54:17.76
I just want to say to Tony...[br]don't take it personally.
03:54:17.83,03:54:21.66
The more I think about things, the more[br]I see no rhyme or reason in life.
03:54:21.77,03:54:25.43
No one knows why some things work out[br]and some things don't.
03:54:25.50,03:54:27.30
Whysome ofusget lucky...
03:54:27.40,03:54:30.57
- andsome ofus--[br]- Get fi red.
03:54:30.64,03:54:31.94
- What ?[br]- No !
03:54:32.01,03:54:34.77
Yeah, well, it seems[br]they're shifting the whole outfit...
03:54:34.84,03:54:37.44
much more towards[br]the emerging markets.
03:54:37.51,03:54:42.14
And, ofcourse, well,[br]l was totalcrap, so--
03:54:42.25,03:54:44.48
A toast to Bernie-- the worst[br]stockbroker in the whole world.
03:54:44.59,03:54:47.28
I thankyou.[br]And Tony, the worst restaurateur.
03:54:47.36,03:54:49.95
- Tony and Bernie. Both crap...[br]- The terrible two.
03:54:50.03,03:54:52.69
in their own special ways.
03:54:55.47,03:54:57.87
Since it's an evening[br]ofannouncements,
03:54:57.97,03:55:01.34
uh, I've also got one.
03:55:01.44,03:55:04.64
Um, I've decided to get engaged.
03:55:04.71,03:55:10.15
l've foundmyselfa nice,[br]slightly odd-looking bloke...
03:55:10.21,03:55:13.44
who I know is gonna make me happy[br]for the rest of my life.
03:55:15.12,03:55:17.78
Wait a sec. I mean, I--
03:55:17.85,03:55:21.85
I'm your brother. I don't know[br]anything about this. Is he--
03:55:21.96,03:55:25.49
Is he fi nancially viable ?
03:55:25.56,03:55:28.22
He's an artist...[br]with brilliant prospects.
03:55:30.83,03:55:33.96
This is a secret[br]you've been keeping from me.
03:55:34.04,03:55:36.06
By the way, it's you.
03:55:39.41,03:55:42.57
- Me ?[br]- What do you think ?
03:55:44.41,03:55:46.38
Well, yeah.
03:55:48.42,03:55:50.75
Groovy.
03:55:50.85,03:55:55.05
Excuse me.[br]Are there any more announcements ?
03:55:55.16,03:55:57.68
Well, actually, yes.
03:55:57.76,03:56:00.70
lfeellshould[br]apologize to everyone...
03:56:00.76,03:56:03.16
for my behaviour[br]over the last six months.
03:56:03.23,03:56:06.86
I have, as you know,[br]been somewhat down in the mouth.
03:56:06.94,03:56:10.50
There's an understatement.[br]There are dead people on better form.
03:56:10.57,03:56:14.27
But I just wish to make it clear[br]that I've turned a corner,
03:56:14.38,03:56:18.44
and, um, henceforward intend[br]to be impressively happy.
03:56:24.45,03:56:28.36
Without a love ofmy own
03:56:32.36,03:56:36.59
-Blue moon[br]-Ba-boom, ba-boom
03:56:36.70,03:56:40.10
You knewjust what l was there for
03:56:40.20,03:56:43.07
Oh, God. I'm horribly drunk.
03:56:43.14,03:56:46.23
You heardmesaying aprayerfor
03:56:46.31,03:56:48.40
- Come here.[br]-Ba-boom, ba-boom
03:56:48.48,03:56:51.64
Someone lreally could care for
03:56:51.75,03:56:56.08
So you've laid the ghost ?
03:56:56.15,03:56:58.05
I believe I have.
03:56:58.12,03:57:01.45
Don't give a damn[br]about the famous girl?
03:57:01.56,03:57:03.32
No.
03:57:03.43,03:57:06.22
No, I don't think I do.
03:57:06.30,03:57:09.16
Which means you won't be distracted[br]by the fact that she's back in London...
03:57:09.27,03:57:10.93
grasping her Oscar...
03:57:11.00,03:57:13.99
and currently to be found fi lming,[br]most days, on Hampstead Heath.
03:57:15.84,03:57:17.81
Oh, God, no.
03:57:21.08,03:57:23.84
So not overher, in fact.
03:58:07.39,03:58:10.33
- Can I help you ?[br]- Yeah, I'm, um--
03:58:10.39,03:58:12.79
- I'm looking for Anna Scott.[br]- Does she know you're coming ?
03:58:12.86,03:58:16.32
No. No, uh, she doesn't.
03:58:16.40,03:58:19.70
- I'm afraid I can't let you through.[br]- Right.
03:58:19.80,03:58:24.80
I mean, I am actually a friend.[br]I'm not a lunatic, but--
03:58:24.87,03:58:27.74
- No, you basically, er--[br]- Can't let you through, sir.
03:59:09.69,03:59:11.12
Well, this is, uh--
03:59:11.22,03:59:14.55
I only found out[br]you were here yesterday.
03:59:14.62,03:59:18.39
- I was going to call, but I--[br]- Uh, Anna.
03:59:18.46,03:59:20.93
Yes. Um--
03:59:21.03,03:59:23.43
Things aren't going very well,[br]and it's our last day.
03:59:23.53,03:59:25.93
Absolutely, yeah.[br]You're clearly very busy.
03:59:26.04,03:59:28.44
But if-- ifyou could wait,
03:59:28.54,03:59:31.20
there are... things to say.
03:59:35.65,03:59:37.61
Okay.
03:59:39.55,03:59:42.45
Drink tea.[br]There's lots oftea.
03:59:48.89,03:59:50.83
Come and have a look.
03:59:55.16,03:59:58.33
Are you a fan of HenryJames ?
03:59:58.43,04:00:01.16
- This is a HenryJames fi lm ?[br]- Yeah.
04:00:08.41,04:00:10.61
This is, uh, Harry.
04:00:10.68,04:00:13.91
He'll give you a pair of headphones[br]so you can hear the dialogue.
04:00:13.98,04:00:15.92
- Thankyou very much.[br]- Noproblem.
04:00:15.99,04:00:18.61
- Hi.[br]- Hi. Here we go.
04:00:18.69,04:00:22.18
- Volume's on the side. Have a seat.[br]- Thankyou.
04:00:30.43,04:00:33.87
We are living in cloud cuckoo land.[br]We'll never get this done today.
04:00:33.97,04:00:36.20
We've got to.[br]I have to be in New York on Thursday.
04:00:36.31,04:00:40.47
Oh, stop showing off.[br]God, that's an enormous ass.
04:00:40.54,04:00:44.78
- I'm not listening.[br]- But seriously, it's not fair.
04:00:44.85,04:00:47.15
So many tragic young teenagers[br]with anorexia...
04:00:47.22,04:00:49.84
and that girl has an ass[br]she could perfectly well share around...
04:00:49.95,04:00:53.82
with at least ten other women[br]and still be big-bottomed.
04:00:53.89,04:00:56.38
I would think, looking at[br]something nice like that,
04:00:56.49,04:01:00.66
you andyour...[br]bony little excuse foran arse...
04:01:00.73,04:01:03.81
would be well advised to keep quiet.
04:01:04.07,04:01:04.90
Nowdown to business.[br]The endofthescene.
04:01:04.97,04:01:08.14
Um, I askyou when you're[br]telling everyone, and you say--
04:01:08.24,04:01:12.41
Um, tomorrow will be soon enough.
04:01:12.48,04:01:14.92
And then I-- Right. Okay.
04:01:14.98,04:01:18.78
Say, who was that rather diffident chap[br]I saw you talking to round the back ?
04:01:18.85,04:01:20.82
No one.
04:01:22.19,04:01:25.25
Just some guy from the past. I--
04:01:25.33,04:01:29.26
It's a bit ofan awkward situation.[br]I don't know what he's doing here.
04:01:46.38,04:01:48.32
'Course.
04:01:54.06,04:01:57.15
Thanks. I've got to, um--
04:01:57.23,04:01:59.19
Any time.
04:02:08.74,04:02:12.17
Ladies andgentlemen,[br]can we haveyou onyourfirst marks ?
04:02:12.24,04:02:14.40
Onyourfirst marks !
04:02:26.52,04:02:29.86
Uh, I-I do hate to disturb you[br]whilst you're cooking the books,
04:02:29.93,04:02:33.09
but, uh, there's a delivery foryou.
04:02:33.20,04:02:35.53
Martin, really.[br]Can't you just do it yourself?
04:02:35.60,04:02:40.16
But you see, this is not for the shop.[br]This is foryou.
04:02:41.24,04:02:42.83
Right. Okay.
04:02:42.91,04:02:47.60
Tell me, if I employ a wet rag, would I[br]have to pay it as much as I pay you ?
04:02:51.78,04:02:53.01
Hi.
04:02:54.68,04:02:56.74
Hello.
04:02:56.85,04:02:58.95
You disappeared.
04:02:59.05,04:03:01.68
Yeah. Yeah. Um--
04:03:01.76,04:03:05.59
I had to leave.[br]I didn't want to disturb.
04:03:05.69,04:03:09.69
- How have you been ?[br]- Fine, fi ne. Everything much the same.
04:03:09.77,04:03:13.86
When they change the law,[br]Spike and I will marry immediately.
04:03:13.94,04:03:16.96
Whereas you, I've watched in wonder.
04:03:17.07,04:03:19.27
- Awards, glory.[br]- Oh, no.
04:03:19.38,04:03:22.78
It's-- It's all nonsense, believe me.
04:03:22.88,04:03:25.81
I'd no idea how much nonsense[br]it was, but...
04:03:25.92,04:03:27.82
nonsense it all is.
04:03:29.99,04:03:32.45
Well, um--
04:03:32.56,04:03:37.58
Yesterday was our last day offi lming,[br]so... I'm leaving.
04:03:39.73,04:03:43.16
But, um--
04:03:43.27,04:03:46.89
I brought this foryou from home,
04:03:46.97,04:03:49.16
so I thought I'd give it to you.
04:03:50.64,04:03:53.57
Thankyou.
04:03:53.64,04:03:55.58
Shall I--
04:03:55.64,04:03:58.24
Oh, no, don't open it now.[br]I'll be embarrassed.
04:04:01.08,04:04:04.45
Well, thankyou. I don't know[br]what it's for, but thanks anyway.
04:04:04.52,04:04:09.01
Actually, I had it in my apartment,[br]and I thought you'd--
04:04:11.43,04:04:14.19
But when it came to it,[br]I didn't know how to call,
04:04:14.30,04:04:17.36
having behaved so badly.
04:04:17.47,04:04:19.37
Twice.
04:04:21.00,04:04:25.13
So it'sjust been[br]sitting in the hotel.
04:04:25.21,04:04:29.54
Then you came and... I fi gured--
04:04:33.22,04:04:35.55
The thing is--
04:04:35.65,04:04:37.55
The thing is--
04:04:40.36,04:04:43.22
What ? What is the thing ?
04:04:44.49,04:04:46.83
Don't even think about it.[br]Go away immediately.
04:04:46.90,04:04:49.52
- Go away.[br]- Right.
04:04:49.63,04:04:51.57
Sorry.
04:04:53.84,04:04:56.24
You were saying ?
04:04:58.74,04:05:02.20
Yes.
04:05:02.31,04:05:05.14
I have to go away today, but I...
04:05:05.21,04:05:08.51
wondered if I didn't...
04:05:08.58,04:05:12.99
whetheryou might[br]let me see you a little,
04:05:13.06,04:05:15.92
or... a lot, maybe.
04:05:19.19,04:05:22.06
See ifyou could like me again.
04:05:22.16,04:05:24.56
But yesterday[br]that actor asked you who I was,
04:05:24.67,04:05:27.43
and you just[br]dismissed me out of hand.
04:05:28.77,04:05:31.87
I heard.
04:05:31.94,04:05:35.17
You hada microphone.[br]lhadheadphones.
04:05:35.24,04:05:37.21
You expect me[br]to tell the truth about my life...
04:05:37.28,04:05:39.91
to the most indiscreet man[br]in England ?
04:05:41.35,04:05:43.68
Uh, excuse me.
04:05:43.75,04:05:46.19
It's your mother on the phone.
04:05:48.96,04:05:51.05
Will you tell her[br]I'll ring her back ?
04:05:51.13,04:05:54.22
I've actually tried that tack, but[br]she said you've said that once before,
04:05:54.30,04:05:56.26
and it's now been about 24 hours...
04:05:56.37,04:05:59.77
and the foot that was purple[br]is now sort of blackish in colour and--
04:05:59.87,04:06:03.63
Right, right. Yeah.[br]Perfect timing, as ever.
04:06:05.81,04:06:08.57
Martin, hold the fort a second.
04:06:08.64,04:06:11.04
Uh, yes. Allright.
04:06:16.15,04:06:18.71
Um, couldljustsay--
04:06:18.79,04:06:23.82
I thought Ghost[br]was the most wonderful fi lm.
04:06:25.09,04:06:27.76
- Is that right ?[br]- Oh, yes.
04:06:30.97,04:06:34.83
Um, I've always wondered...
04:06:34.94,04:06:38.10
what Patrick Swayze's like[br]in-- in-- in real life.
04:06:38.17,04:06:41.84
I can't say that I know Patrick[br]all that well.
04:06:41.94,04:06:44.17
He wasn't that friendly during fi lming ?
04:06:44.28,04:06:49.68
Well, l'm sure he wasfriendly to[br]DemiMoore who acted with him in Ghost.
04:06:52.19,04:06:54.52
Oh. Oh, right.
04:06:54.62,04:06:56.52
Sorry.
04:06:58.19,04:07:01.46
Always been a bit ofan ass.
04:07:01.53,04:07:04.47
Um, anyway-- Um--
04:07:04.53,04:07:06.47
Well, it was lovely to meet you.
04:07:06.54,04:07:08.97
I'm a huge, huge fan ofyours.
04:07:09.04,04:07:12.70
AndDemi's, ofcourse.
04:07:15.21,04:07:17.44
Sorry.
04:07:17.51,04:07:19.34
That's fi ne.
04:07:19.45,04:07:23.21
There's always a pause when thejury[br]goes out to consider their verdict.
04:07:25.52,04:07:28.65
Anna, look, um--
04:07:28.72,04:07:32.52
I'm a fairly levelheaded bloke,
04:07:32.63,04:07:36.50
not often in and out of love.
04:07:36.57,04:07:38.69
But, uh--
04:07:43.24,04:07:45.64
Can I just say no to your...
04:07:45.71,04:07:50.04
kind request and, uh, leave it at that ?
04:07:53.42,04:07:56.75
Yes.
04:07:56.85,04:08:00.34
Fine. Ofcourse. I--
04:08:00.42,04:08:02.52
Ofcourse.
04:08:04.23,04:08:07.25
I'll just be going, then.[br]It was nice to see you.
04:08:07.36,04:08:10.26
The thing is,
04:08:10.37,04:08:13.82
with you I'm in real... danger.
04:08:13.90,04:08:17.07
It seems like a... perfect situation,
04:08:17.17,04:08:20.61
apart from that[br]foul temper ofyours, but...
04:08:20.71,04:08:25.24
my relatively inexperienced heart[br]would, I fear, not...
04:08:25.35,04:08:28.11
recover, uh, if I was...
04:08:28.22,04:08:32.24
once again cast aside,[br]as I would absolutely expect to be.
04:08:32.35,04:08:37.52
There arejust too many pictures ofyou,[br]too many fi lms.
04:08:37.59,04:08:40.93
You'd go and I'd be, uh,
04:08:41.03,04:08:43.62
well, buggered, basically.
04:08:45.13,04:08:48.07
That really is a real no, isn't it ?
04:08:48.14,04:08:52.87
I live in Notting Hill.[br]You live in... Beverly Hills.
04:08:52.94,04:08:54.88
Everyone in the world[br]knows who you are.
04:08:54.94,04:08:58.64
My mother has trouble[br]remembering my name.
04:08:58.75,04:09:00.65
Fine.
04:09:02.55,04:09:06.89
Fine. Good decision.[br]Good decision.
04:09:10.59,04:09:14.12
The fame thing isn't really real,[br]you know ?
04:09:17.93,04:09:21.56
And don't forget I'm--
04:09:21.64,04:09:25.44
I'm alsojust a girl...
04:09:25.51,04:09:29.64
standing in front ofa boy...
04:09:29.75,04:09:32.31
asking him to love her.
04:09:43.19,04:09:45.13
Goodbye.
04:10:07.47,04:10:09.90
So what do you think ?[br]Good move ?
04:10:09.97,04:10:12.27
Yeah, good move.
04:10:12.34,04:10:15.00
I mean, when all's said and done,[br]she's nothing special.
04:10:15.11,04:10:17.01
I saw her taking her trousers down,
04:10:17.11,04:10:19.94
and I defi nitely glimpsed[br]some cellulite down there.
04:10:20.01,04:10:22.85
Good decision, yeah.
04:10:22.95,04:10:25.35
All actresses are as mad as snakes.
04:10:25.45,04:10:28.48
- Tones, what do you reckon ?[br]- Never met her, never want to.
04:10:28.59,04:10:32.28
- Brilliant. Max ?[br]- Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian.
04:10:32.36,04:10:35.12
Great. Thanks. Brilliant.
04:10:36.43,04:10:38.95
I was called and I came. What's up ?
04:10:39.03,04:10:41.19
William'sjust turned down Anna Scott.
04:10:42.84,04:10:45.70
You daft prick.
04:10:45.80,04:10:49.21
No, no.[br]No, no, it's actually quite sensible.
04:10:52.54,04:10:56.31
Thatpainting[br]isn 't the original, is it ?
04:10:56.38,04:10:58.98
Um, you know,[br]lthinkit might be, yeah.
04:11:01.89,04:11:04.22
But she said[br]she wanted to go out with you.
04:11:06.79,04:11:09.73
- Yeah.[br]- Well, that's nice.
04:11:11.30,04:11:14.36
What ?
04:11:14.47,04:11:16.63
Well, you know,
04:11:16.70,04:11:20.83
anyone saying they wanna go out with you[br]is pretty great, isn't it ?
04:11:26.58,04:11:29.31
It was...
04:11:29.38,04:11:31.65
sort of... sweet, actually.
04:11:31.72,04:11:34.65
Um, I mean,[br]I know she's an actress and all that...
04:11:34.72,04:11:40.59
so she can... deliver a line, but, um,
04:11:40.69,04:11:43.18
she said she might be[br]as famous as she can be,
04:11:43.26,04:11:46.16
but also that she was...
04:11:46.23,04:11:49.53
just a girl...
04:11:49.60,04:11:54.00
standing in front ofa boy...
04:11:54.07,04:11:56.54
asking him... to love her.
04:12:11.62,04:12:15.08
Oh, sod a dog. I've made[br]the wrong decision, haven't I ?
04:12:17.13,04:12:18.96
Yeah.
04:12:19.06,04:12:21.90
Max, how fast is your car ?
04:12:21.90,04:12:22.26
Max, how fast is your car ?
04:12:25.70,04:12:29.47
- Good luck ![br]- Ifanyone gets in our way,[br]we have small nuclear devices.
04:12:29.58,04:12:31.41
- Where to ?[br]- All I can think is The Ritz.
04:12:31.48,04:12:34.07
- Where's Bella ?[br]- She's not coming.
04:12:34.15,04:12:37.38
- Oh, sod that. Bernie, in the back.[br]- What ?
04:12:39.99,04:12:42.42
Max, I'm okay.
04:12:42.49,04:12:44.58
Come on, babe.
04:12:52.63,04:12:54.93
Which way are you going ?
04:12:55.00,04:12:58.16
Down Kensington Church Street, then[br]Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner.
04:12:58.27,04:13:00.93
- No, crazy. Go along Bayswater.[br]- That's right. Then Park Lane.
04:13:01.01,04:13:03.07
No, straight down to the Cromwell Road,[br]then left.
04:13:06.51,04:13:10.18
Stop right there ![br]I will decide the route. All right ?
04:13:10.28,04:13:12.48
Sorry, Max.
04:13:12.58,04:13:15.49
James Bond never has to put up[br]with this sort ofshit.
04:13:22.59,04:13:25.12
Turn right !
04:13:25.20,04:13:26.69
- I can't. It's one way.[br]- Do a U-turn.
04:13:26.80,04:13:29.53
Oh, sod it. Hold on.
04:13:35.44,04:13:38.64
Brilliant !
04:13:43.28,04:13:46.68
Bloody hell, this is fun !
04:13:46.79,04:13:47.65
Sorry.
04:13:47.65,04:13:48.68
Sorry.
04:13:48.79,04:13:51.05
Hi.[br]Is Miss Scott staying here ?
04:13:51.16,04:13:54.52
- No, sir.[br]- How 'bout Miss Flintstone ?
04:13:54.63,04:13:57.65
- No, sir.[br]- Uh, Bambi ?
04:13:57.73,04:14:00.82
- No, sir.[br]- Or, um--
04:14:00.90,04:14:05.03
I don't know.[br]Beavis or Butthead ?
04:14:05.14,04:14:07.97
No, sir.
04:14:08.04,04:14:10.67
Thanks. Thanks.
04:14:10.74,04:14:13.37
There was a Miss Pocahontas,
04:14:13.48,04:14:16.07
but she checked out[br]about an hour ago.
04:14:16.18,04:14:18.88
I believe she's holding[br]a press conference at the Savoy...
04:14:18.98,04:14:22.04
before flying to America.
04:14:26.36,04:14:28.26
We have liftoff.
04:14:37.40,04:14:39.37
You have message for Takiama ?
04:14:39.44,04:14:41.53
I'll just check, sir.
04:15:04.76,04:15:07.13
Bugger this for a bunch of bananas.
04:15:11.44,04:15:15.13
Stop ! Stop ! Stop ![br]Stay there ! Go ! Go !
04:15:15.24,04:15:18.47
Whoa, whoa, whoa !Hang on !
04:15:18.58,04:15:21.57
Come on ! No ! Wait ! Wait there !
04:15:21.65,04:15:23.77
Come on ! Come on ! Wait !
04:15:23.88,04:15:27.05
Whoa, whoa, whoa ! Go on ![br]Through, through !
04:15:28.65,04:15:31.25
You're my hero !
04:15:31.32,04:15:33.26
Whoa ! Down, boy.
04:15:52.98,04:15:54.91
Excuse me.
04:15:54.98,04:15:56.62
- Yes ?[br]- Where's the press conference, please ?
04:15:56.62,04:15:57.60
- Yes ?[br]- Where's the press conference, please ?
04:15:57.68,04:16:00.85
- Are you an accredited[br]member ofthe press ?[br]- Yep.
04:16:02.35,04:16:06.81
- There you go.[br]- That's a Blockbuster Video[br]membership card, sir.
04:16:06.93,04:16:10.02
That's right.[br]I work for their in-house magazine.
04:16:10.13,04:16:12.36
- MoviesAre OurBusiness.[br]- I'm sorry, sir.
04:16:12.46,04:16:14.96
- He's with me.[br]- And you are ?
04:16:15.03,04:16:19.37
Writing an article on how London hotels[br]treat people in wheelchairs.
04:16:20.37,04:16:23.50
Yes, ofcourse, madam.[br]It's in the Lancaster Room.
04:16:23.61,04:16:26.01
Though I'm afraid you're rather late.
04:16:26.11,04:16:28.05
Run !
04:16:43.36,04:16:47.16
Does this mean that Miss Scott[br]willnot bepublicizing hernext film ?
04:16:47.23,04:16:49.50
No, it absolutely[br]does not mean that.
04:16:49.57,04:16:51.73
She'llbe abiding by[br]allherpresent commitments.
04:16:51.84,04:16:55.71
Shejust won't be making[br]any more forthe nextyear.
04:16:55.81,04:16:57.87
When will the film be released?
04:16:57.98,04:17:00.24
At the moment,[br]theplan is to release in America...
04:17:00.35,04:17:02.25
towards the endofthe autumn,
04:17:02.35,04:17:03.85
and over here around Christmas[br]or early in the new year.
04:17:03.85,04:17:05.65
and over here around Christmas[br]or early in the new year.
04:17:05.72,04:17:07.81
Right! Dominic.
04:17:07.89,04:17:11.02
Anna, how much longer are you[br]staying in the U.K., then ?
04:17:11.13,04:17:13.03
No time at all.[br]I leave tonight.
04:17:13.13,04:17:18.03
Which is why we have to roundthings[br]up now, so finalquestions, please.
04:17:18.13,04:17:19.83
Yes. Lady there.
04:17:19.90,04:17:22.73
lsyourdecision to take[br]ayearoffanything to do...
04:17:22.84,04:17:26.07
with the rumors aboutJeff[br]and his present leading lady ?
04:17:26.17,04:17:29.58
- Absolutely not.[br]- Do you believe the rumors ?
04:17:29.68,04:17:33.51
Well, it's really[br]not my business anymore.
04:17:33.58,04:17:38.42
Though l willsay, from my experience,[br]rumors aboutJeffdo tendto be true.
04:17:41.09,04:17:45.08
Yeah. The last time you were here, there[br]were some fairly graphic photographs...
04:17:45.19,04:17:49.19
taken ofyou[br]with a young English guy.
04:17:49.26,04:17:52.39
So, uh, what happenedthere ?
04:17:52.50,04:17:55.87
He wasjust a friend.[br]We're still friends, I think.
04:17:55.94,04:17:59.20
Right, um--
04:17:59.27,04:18:01.67
Yes. Gentleman in the pink shirt.
04:18:07.35,04:18:11.88
Yes. Miss Scott,
04:18:11.95,04:18:14.39
are there any circumstances in which...
04:18:14.46,04:18:17.39
the two ofyou...
04:18:17.46,04:18:20.62
might be more than just good friends ?
04:18:22.40,04:18:27.13
I hoped there would be, but no,[br]I'm... assured there aren't.
04:18:27.24,04:18:30.76
- But what would you say if--[br]- Sorry.Just the one question, please.
04:18:30.87,04:18:33.47
No, it's all right.[br]You were saying ?
04:18:35.21,04:18:38.24
I wasjust wondering if, uh,
04:18:38.31,04:18:42.08
it turnedout that thisperson, uh--
04:18:42.15,04:18:44.12
Thacker. His name was Thacker.
04:18:44.22,04:18:46.31
Thanks, thanks.
04:18:46.42,04:18:49.08
I just wondered whether if...
04:18:49.16,04:18:53.12
Mr. Thacker realized he'd been[br]a daft prick...
04:18:55.56,04:18:58.97
and got down on his knees and...[br]begged you to reconsider,
04:18:59.07,04:19:02.80
whetheryou would, in fact, then...
04:19:02.90,04:19:04.96
reconsider ?
04:19:14.48,04:19:17.65
Yes, I believe I would.
04:19:19.85,04:19:22.95
That's very good news.[br]Um--
04:19:24.36,04:19:27.82
The readers of Horse & Hound[br]will be absolutely delighted.
04:19:34.70,04:19:38.16
Right. Uh, Dominic, ifyou'd[br]like to askyour question again ?
04:19:38.27,04:19:43.68
Yeah ? Anna, howlong areyou[br]intending to stay here in Britain ?
04:19:51.05,04:19:52.15
Indefi nitely.
04:19:52.15,04:19:53.71
Indefi nitely.
04:20:17.08,04:20:20.01
- What happened ?[br]- It was good.
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