Notting Hill - Ultimate EditionClick here to download subtitles file for the movie "Notting Hill - Ultimate Edition"Get Paid for using YouTube!
So stay with us|because later this afternoon, we're lucky enough|to be talking to Anna Scott, Hollywood's biggest star by far. Miss Scott's latest film|is once again topping the charts. Of course l've seen her films... and always thought|she was, well, fabulous. But, you know, a million, million miles|from the world l live in... which is here, Notting Hill,|my favourite bit of London. There's the market on weekdays selling|every fruit and vegetable known to man. Rock-hard bananas,|five for a pound ! The tattoo parlour|with a guy outside who got drunk... and now can't remember|why he chose ""l love Ken."" The radical hairdressers... where everyone comes out|looking like the Cookie Monster, whether they want to or not. And then, suddenly,|it's the weekend, and from break of day hundreds|of stalls appear out of nowhere, filling Portobello Road,|right up to Notting Hill Gate. And wherever you look thousands of|people are buying millions of antiques, some genuine and some...|not quite so genuine. And what's great is that lots of friends|have ended up in this part of London. That's Tony, for example,|architect turned chef, who recently invested all the money|he ever earned in a new restaurant. And so, this is where|l spend my days and years... in this small village in the middle of|the city in a house with a blue door... that my wife and l bought together|before she left me for a man... who looked exactly like Harrison Ford. And where l lead a strange half-life|with a lodger called-- Spike ! You couldn't help me with an incredibly|important decision, could you ? lmportant compared to, let's say,|whether they cancel Third World debt ? That's right. l am at last going out|on a date with the great Janine, and l just wanna be sure|l've picked the right T-shirt. - What are the choices ?|- Well, wait for it. First there's this one.|Cool, huh ? Yeah, it might make it hard|to strike a really romantic note. Point taken.|Don't despair. lf it's romance we're looking for,|l believe l have just the thing. Yeah, well, there again, she might not|think you had true love on your mind. Right.|Just one more. True love here l come. Well, yeah. Yeah, that's--|that's, um, perfect. Great. Thanks. - Wish me luck.|- Good luck. And so it was|just another hopeless Wednesday, as l walked the thousand yards|through the market to work, never suspecting that this was the day|that was gonna change my life forever. This is work, by the way,|my little travel bookshop, - Morning, Martin.|- Morning, Monsignor. which, um, well, sells travel books, and, to be frank with you,|doesn't always sell many of those. Classic.|Profit from major sales push, minus £347. Shall l, uh,|go and get you a cappuccino ? - You know, ease the pain a bit.|- Yeah, yeah. Better make it a half.|All l can afford. Get your logic.|Demi-cappu coming right up. Um, can l help you at all ? No, thanks.|l'll just... look around. Fine. Uh, that book's really not great. Just in case, you know, browsing turned|to buying. You'd be wasting your money. But if it's Turkey|you're interested in, um, this one, on the other hand,|is very good. Um, l think the man who wrote it has|actually been to Turkey, which helps. Um, there's also|a very amusing incident with a kebab, um, which is one|of many amusing incidents. Thanks.|l'll think about it. Or, in the bigger hardback variety,|there's-- l'm sorry.|Can you just give me a second ? Excuse me. - Yes ?|- Bad news. What ? We've got a security camera|in this bit of the shop. So ? So l saw you put that book|down your trousers. - What book ?|- The one down your trousers. l don't have a book|down my trousers. Right. l tell you what.|Um, l'll call the police, and, um, if l'm wrong about the whole|""book down the trousers"" scenario, l really apologize. Okay. What if... l did|have a book down my trousers ? Well, ideally,|when l went back to the desk, you'd remove the Cadogan Guide|to Bali from your trousers... and either wipe it|and put it back or buy it. l'll see you in a sec. l'm sorry about that. No, it's fine. l was gonna steal one,|but now l've changed my mind. Oh, signed by the author,|l see. Um, yeah, couldn't stop him. lf you can find an unsigned one,|it's worth an absolute fortune. Excuse me. - Yes ?|- Can l have your autograph ? Uh, sure. - What's your name ?|- Rufus. What does it say ? That's my signature. And above it, it|says, ""Dear Rufus, you belong in jail."" Good one. - Do you want my phone number ?|- Tempting. But... no.|Thank you. l will take this one. Oh, right, right.|So, uh-- Well, on second thoughts,|um, maybe it's not that bad after all. Actually, it's a sort|of a classic, really. None of those childish kebab stories|you find in so many books these days. And, um, l tell you what. l'll throw in|one of those for free. Useful for, uh, lighting fires, wrapping fish,|that sort of thing. - Thanks.|- Pleasure. Cappuccino, as ordered. Thanks. l don't think you'll believe|who was just in here. Who ?|Was it someone famous ? Would be exciting, though,|wouldn't it, if someone famous|came into the shop ? Hmm ? Do you know--|and this is pretty amazing, actually-- but l once saw Ringo Starr. - Where was that ?|- Kensington High Street. At least l think it was Ringo. lt might have been that man|from Fiddler on the Roof. - You know, Toppy.|- Topol. Yes, that's right.|Topol. Mm-hmm. Actually, Ringo Starr doesn't--|doesn't look at all like, uh, Topol. Yeah, but he was--|he was quite a long way away from me. So actually it could've|been neither of them. Yes, l suppose so, yes. - lt's not a classic anecdote, is it ?|- Not a classic, no. No. - Another one ?|- Yes. No. Let's go crazy.|l'll have an orange juice. - Oh, my God !|- Bugger ! l'm so sorry. l'm so sorry. - Here. Let me--|- Get your hands off ! l'm really sorry.|l-- l live just over the street. l have, um, water and soap.|You can get cleaned up. No, thank you.|l just need to get my car back. l also have a phone.|l'm confident that in five minutes... we could have you spick-and-span|and back on the street again. ln the non-prostitute sense,|obviously. All right. Well-- What do you mean,|""just over the street"" ? - Give it to me in yards.|- Uh, 18 yards. That's my house there|with the blue front door. Come on in.|l'll just-- l'll just-- Um, right. Right.|Come in. lt's, um, not quite as tidy|as it normally is, l fear. But, um--|The bathroom's on the top floor. And the telephone's just--|just up here. Here.|Let-- Let me, um-- Um, round the corner.|Straight on-- straight on up. Bugger. Would you like a cup of tea|before you go ? - No.|- Coffee ? - No.|- Orange juice ? Probably not.|Um, something else cold. Coke ? Water ? Some disgusting sugary drink... pretending to have something to do|with fruits of the forest ? - No.|- Would you like something to eat ? Uh, something to nibble ? Um, apricots soaked in honey ? Quite why, no one knows, because|it stops them tasting of apricots... and makes them taste like honey, and if you wanted honey, you'd just|buy honey instead of... apricots. Um, but nevertheless,|there we go there. They're yours if you want them. Do you always say ""no""|to everything ? l'd better be going. Thanks for your, uh, help. You're welcome. And, uh, may l also say,|um, heavenly. l'll just take|my one chance to say it. After you've read|that terrible book, you're certainly not going|to be coming back to the shop. Thank you. Yeah.|Well, my pleasure. So... it was nice to meet you. Surreal but, um-- but nice. Sorry. ""Surreal but nice"" ?|What was l thinking ? - l forgot my other bag.|- Oh, right. Right. Thanks. l'm very sorry about|the ""surreal but nice"" comment. - Disaster.|- That's okay. l thought the apricot and honey thing|was the real low point. Oh, my God.|My flatmate. l'm sorry.|There's no excuse for him. l'm just going into the kitchen|to get some food. Then l'm gonna tell you a story|that will make your balls shrink|to the size of raisins. Probably best|not to tell anyone about this. Right. Right.|No one. l mean, l'll tell myself sometimes. But don't worry.|l won't believe it. There's something wrong|with this yogurt. lt's not yogurt.|lt's mayonnaise. Oh, right.|There we are then. On for a videofest tonight ? l got some absolute classics. - Smile.|- No. - Smile.|- l've got nothing to smile about. Okay. ln about seven seconds, l'm going to ask you|to marry me. lmagine. Somewhere in the world|there's a man who's allowed to kiss her. Yes, she is, uh, fairly fabulous. - Do you have any books by Dickens ?|- No. No, l'm afraid we're a travel bookshop.|We only sell travel books. Oh, right. How about|the new John Grisham thriller ? Well, no, 'cause that's, uh--|that's a novel too, isn't it ? Oh, right. Have you got Winnie the Pooh ? Martin, your customer. Uh, can l help you ? Just, um, incidentally, uh, why...|are you wearing that ? Combination of factors really.|Uh, no clean clothes. There never will be, you know,|unless you actually clean your clothes. Right.|Vicious circle. And l was, like,|rooting around in your things... and l found this,|and l thought ""cool."" Kinda... spacey. There's something wrong|with the goggles, though. No, they were, um, prescription. -Groovy.|-So l could see all the fishes properly. You should do more|of this stuff. - So, look, any messages today ?|- Yeah, l wrote a couple down. So there were two.|There were two messages ? Right ? You want me to write down|all your messages ? Okay, who are the ones|that you didn't write down from ? No. Gone completely. Oh, no.|There was one from your mum. She said don't forget lunch,|and her leg's hurting again. - No one else ?|- Absolutely no one else. Though if we're going for this obsessive|writing down all the message thing, some American girl called Anna|called a few days ago. - What did she say ?|- Well, it was genuinely bizarre. She said, ""Hi. lt's Anna.""|Then she said, ""Call me at The Ritz""... and then gave herself|a completely different name. - Which was ?|- Absolutely no idea. Remembering one name's hard enough. No, l-- l know that.|She-- She said that. Um, l know she's using another name. The problem is|she left the message with my flatmate... which was a very serious mistake. Um, l don't know. lmagine, if you will,|the stupidest person you've ever met. - Are you doing that ?|- Yes, sir, l have him in my mind. And now double it.|And that is the, um-- what can l say-- the git that l am living with. And he can't remember-- - Try Flintstone.|- l'm sorry, what ? l think she said|her name was Flintstone. l don't-- l don't suppose, um,|Flintstone rings any bells, does it ? - Oh, l'll put you right through, sir.|- Oh, my God. Hello. Hi. - Hi there.|- Hello ? - Sorry. lt's William... Thacker.|- Yes ? Um, we-- l work in a bookshop. Oh, no, l promise you l've never played|anything cool in my entire life. My flatmate, who'll l'll stab to death|later, never gave me the message. l don't know.|Perhaps, um, l could drop round|for tea later or something. Right. Right. Great. Classic. Classic. - Which floor ?|- Three, please. Uh, are you sure this is-- Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure. - Hi. Hi. l'm Karen.|- Hi. l'm sorry.|Things are running a little bit late. Here's the, uh, thing.|Do you wanna come this way ? Through here. So what did you|think of the film ? Yeah, l thought it was fantastic.|l thought it was, uh, Close Encounters|meets Jean de Florette. l agree. l'm sorry. l didn't get down|what magazines you're from. - Time Out.|- Great. And you're from ? Horse & Hound. The name's William Thacker. l think,|actually, she might be expecting me. Oh, okay.|Take a seat and l'll go check. l see you've, uh--|l see you've brought her some flowers. These are for my,|um, grandmother. She's in a hospital|just down the road. Thought l'd kill two birds|with one stone, you know. Sure, right.|Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Which hospital's that ? Do you mind me not saying ?|lt's a rather distressing disease. Name of the hospital|kind of gives it away. Right, uh, Mr Thacker.|Will you come this way. Right. You've got five minutes. - Hi.|- Hello. Uh, l brought these, but clearly-- No, they're great.|They're great. Ah, listen,|l'm sorry about not ringing back. The whole ""two-names concept""... was totally too much for my flatmate's|pea-sized intellect. No, it's a stupid privacy thing.|l always pick a... cartoon character. Last time l was Mrs Bambi. - Everything all right ?|- Yes, thank you. And you're from, uh,|Horse & Hound. ls that so ? Well. So, uh-- Uh, l'll just... fire away then,|shall l ? Right. The film's great, and, um, l just was wondering whether... you ever thought of having, um, more, uh, horses in it. Uh, well, we would have liked to, but it was, um, difficult,|obviously, being set in space. Space, right, yeah.|Yeah, obviously very difficult. l'm so sorry.|l arrived outside. They thrust this thing|into my hand-- No, it's my fault.|l thought this would all be over by now. l just wanted to sort of apologize|for the kissing thing. l seriously don't know|what came over me. And l just wanted to make sure|that you were fine about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely fine. Do remember that Miss Scott is also|keen to talk about her next project... which is, um, shooting|later in the summer. Ah, yes, excellent.|Excellent. Any horses in that one ? Or hounds for that matter. Our readers|are equally intrigued by both species. lt takes place on a submarine. Oh. Well, bad luck. But, um, if there were horses in it, would you be riding them... or would you be getting, a--|a stunt-horse-double-man-thing ? l-l'm a complete moron.|l apologize. l-- This is very weird. lt's the sort|of thing that happens in dreams, not in real life. l mean, good dreams.|lt's a-- lt's a dream, in fact,|uh, to see you again. What happens next in the dream ? l suppose in the, uh, dream-- dream scenario--|l just, uh, change my personality... because you can do that|in dreams and, um, walk over and, uh, kiss the girl. But, uh-- Time's up, l'm afraid.|Did you get what you wanted ? - Um, nearly, nearly.|- Well, maybe just one last question. - Sure.|- Right, right. Are you... busy tonight ? - Yes.|- Right. Right. - Come in.|- Well, it was nice to meet you. Yes, and you. Surreal... but nice. Thank you. You are Horse & Hound's|favourite actress. You and Black Beauty... tied. How was she ? Oh, um, fabulous. Excellent. Wait a minute.|She took your grandmother's flowers. Uh, yeah, yeah.|That's right. - Bitch.|- Oh, Mr Thacker. Mr Thacker, if you'd like to come with|me, we can rush you through the others. The others ? Mr Thacker is from Horse & Hound. - How's it going ?|- Very well, thank you. Have a seat. Well, did you enjoy the film ? Yes, enormously. - Well, fire away.|- Right. Did you enjoy making the film ? - Yes, l did.|- Good. Any bit in particular ? You tell me what bit|you enjoyed the most, and l'll tell you|if l enjoyed making that bit. Uh, l... liked the bit in space... very much. Did you identify with the character|you're playing ? Oh. Why not ? Because he's playing|a psychopathic flesh-eating robot. Classic. So, uh, is this your first film ? No. lt's my 22nd. Of course it is.|Any favourites among the 22 ? Working with Leonardo. - Da Vinci ?|- DiCaprio. Of course. And is-- is he your favourite|ltalian director ? - Mr Thacker.|- Oh, no. - Have you got a minute ?|- No. Um-- Yeah, so the, um-- the-- the thing l was doing tonight,|l'm not doing any more. l told them l had|to spend the evening... with Britain's premier|equestrian journalist. Oh. Well, great. Fantastic.|That's, uh-- Oh. Shittity brickitty. lt's my sister's birthday. Shit.|We're meant to be having dinner. - Okay, that's fine.|- No. l'm sure l can get out of it. No, l mean, if it's fine with you,|l'll be your date. You--|You'll be my date... to my little sister's|birthday party ? - lf it's all right.|- Well, yeah, l'm sure it's all right. My friend Max is cooking, and he is generally acknowledged|to be the worst cook in the world. But, um, you know, you could hide|the food in your handbag or something. - Okay.|- Okay. - He's bringing a girl ?|- Miracles do happen. - Does the girl have a name ?|- Don't know. Wouldn't say. Oh, Christ !|What is going on in there ? Oh, God ! Hi. Come on in.|Vague food crisis. Hiya ! Sorry. The guinea fowl is proving|more complicated than expected. - He's cooking guinea-fowl ?|- Don't even ask. Good Lord,|you're the spitting image of-- Bella, this is Anna. - Right.|- Okay, crisis over. Max, this is Anna. - Hi.|- Hello, Anna-- Scott.|Have some wine. Thank you. l'll get it. Red or white ? - Oh. Hey.|- Hi. - Oh, yes, happy birthday.|- Thank you. Look, your brother's|brought this girl. Hi, guys. Oh, holy fuck ! Hon, this is Anna. Anna, this is Honey.|She's my baby sister. Oh. Hi. Oh, God. This is one|of those key moments in life... when it's possible|you can be really genuinely cool... and l-- l'm going to fail|just a hundred percent. l-- l absolutely,|totally and utterly adore you. And l just think... you are|the most beautiful woman in the world. And, more importantly,|l genuinely believe, and l've believed for some time now,|that we could be best friends. So what do you think ? Uh, lucky me. Well, happy birthday. Oh, you gave me a present.|We're best friends already then. Marry Will. He's a really nice guy.|Then we can be sisters. Well, l'll think about it. That'll be Bernie. - Hi.|- Hi. Sorry l'm late. Bollocksed up at work again, l fear. - Millions down the drain.|- Well done. - Bernie, this is Anna.|- Hello, Anna. Delighted to meet you. -And you.|-Honey bunny, Happy birthday to you - Hi, Bella.|- Hi. Um, it-- it-- it's a hat.|You don't have to wear it or anything. - Hi, Will.|- Hi. - Hi.|- What ? - Wine, Bernie ?|- Mm. You haven't slept with her, have you ? That is a cheap question, and|the answer is, or course, no comment. - No comment means ""yes.""|- No, it doesn't. - Do you ever masturbate ?|- Definitely no comment. - You see, it means ""yes.""|- Oh, my God ! So, uh, tell me,|um, Anna, what do you do ? - l'm an actress.|- Oh, splendid. What do you do ? l'm actually in the stock market myself,|so, uh, not really similar fields. Though, um-- um, l have done|the odd bit of amateur stuff. Um-- uh, P. G. Wodehouse.|Farce, all that, you know. ""Careful there, Vicar."" Always imagined it's a pretty tough job,|though, acting. - The wages are a scandal, aren't they ?|- They can be. l see friends from university--|clever chaps. Been in the business longer than you. They're scraping by on seven,|eight thousand a year. You know, it's no life. - What sort of acting do you do ?|- Films, mainly. Oh, splendid. Oh, well done.|How's the pay in movies ? l mean, last film you did,|what did you get paid ? Fifteen million dollars. Right. So that's, well, fairly good. Right, l think we're ready. Bella, can you tell me|where l can find-- Oh, sorry.|lt's down the corridor on the right. l'll show you. Quickly, quickly.|Talk very, very quickly. What are you doing here|with Anna Scott ? - Anna Scott ?|- Yes. Shut up ! - What, the film star ?|- Shh ! - Oh, God !|- What ? - Oh, God. Oh, goddy God.|- What did you say to her ? l don't believe it.|l actually walked into the loo with her. l was still chatting|when she started unbuttoning her jeans. - She had to ask me to leave.|- Oh, God. So you knew who she was ? Of course l did, but he didn't. Well, not instantly, but l-- l--|l got away with it. - What do you think of the guinea-fowl ?|- l'm a vegetarian. Oh, God. So, how's the guinea-fowl ? Best guinea-fowl|l've ever tasted. Having you here, Anna, firmly|establishes what l've long suspected-- that we really are the most|desperate lot of underachievers. - Shame.|- l'm not saying it's a bad thing. ln fact, l think it's something|we should take pride in. l'm gonna give the last brownie|as a prize... to the saddest act here. - Uh-oh.|- Bern. Yeah, all right.|Well, obviously, it's me, isn't it ? l mean, l work in the city in a job|l don't understand, and everyone keeps|getting promoted above me. l haven't had a girlfriend since--|well, since puberty. And... nobody fancies me. And if these cheeks get any chubbier,|they never will. - Nonsense. l fancy you.|- Really ? Yeah. Or l did|before you got so fat. You see.|And unless l'm much mistaken, your job still pays you|rather a lot of money... whilst Honey here|earns 20 pence a week... flogging her guts out|in London's worst record store. Yes ! And l haven't got hair.|l've got feathers. And l've got funny goggly eyes.|And l'm attracted to cruel men. And, actually,|no one will marry me... because, um, my boosies|have actually started shrinking. - You see, it's incredibly sad.|- But on the other hand, her best friend is Anna Scott. That's true. l can't deny it.|She needs me. What can l say ? And most of her limbs work, whereas|l'm stuck in this thing day and night, in a house full of ramps. And to add insult|to serious injury, l've totally given up smoking,|my favourite thing. And, um, well, the truth is, we can't have a baby. Oh, Belle. C'est la vie. Still, um, we're lucky in lots of ways. But surely that's worth a brownie. Well, l don't know.|Look at William. - Very unsuccessful professionally.|- That's true. Divorced. Used to be handsome,|now kind of squidgy round the edges. And absolutely certain never|to hear from Anna again... - once she's heard that his|nickname at school was--|- Floppy. You did.|l can't believe it, you did. Thanks very much. Thank you.|Well, at least l get the last brownie. l think so, yes. Well, wait.|What about me ? l'm sorry ?|You think you deserve the brownie ? Well, a shot at it at least, huh ? You'll have to prove it.|This is a very, very good brownie. l'm gonna fight for it. l've been on a diet|every day since l was 19, which basically means|l've been hungry for a decade. l've had a series of not-nice|boyfriends, one of whom hit me. Uh, and every time|l get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about|as though it's entertainment. And... it's taken two rather painful,|um, operations... to get me looking like this. - Really ?|- Really. And one day not long from now,|my looks will go, they will discover l can't act, and l will become|some sad, middle-aged woman... who... looks a bit like someone|who was famous for a while. No, nice try, gorgeous,|but you don't fool anyone. Pathetic effort|to hog the brownie. - Thank you for such a terrific time.|- l'm delighted. - That's a great tie.|- Now you're lying. Okay, it's true.|l told you l was bad at acting. - lt was lovely to meet you.|- Yeah, and you. And you. l'll wait until you've gone|before l tell him you're a vegetarian. - Good night.|- l'm so sorry about the loo thing. l meant to leave.|l just-- Ring me if you want someone|to go shopping with. l know lots of nice, cheap places,|not that money is necessarily-- lt was just so nice to meet you. - Happy birthday. You're my style guru.|- Thank you. - Sorry. Can l just--|- Oh. - Thanks.|- Leave her. - Good night, everyone.|- Bye. Max, Belle,|we'll see you in a couple of days. - Thank you, everybody. Call us.|- Bye, guys. - Bye, Anna.|- Love your work. Bye, Hon. Sorry. They always do that|when l leave the house. lt's a stupid thing.|l hate it. - ""Floppy,"" huh ?|- lt's the hair. - Mm-hmm.|- lt's to do with the hair. Why is she in a wheelchair ? Uh, because she had an accident|about 18 months ago. And the pregnancy thing,|is that to do with the accident ? You know, l'm not sure. l don't think they tried for kids|before, as fate would have it. Do you want to, um-- My place is just, um-- Too complicated. That's fine. Busy tomorrow ? - l thought you were leaving tomorrow.|- l was. All these streets round here have... these mysterious communal gardens|in the middle of them. - They're like little villages.|- Let's go in. Ah, no, that's the point.|They're private villages. Only the people who live round the edges|are allowed in. Oh. You abide by rules like that ? l don't. No, no.|But others do. l just do what l want. Um-- Right. Whoopsidaisies. What did you say ? - Nothing.|- Yes, you did. - No, l didn't.|- You said, ""Whoopsidaisies."" No one says, ""Whoopsidaisies,"" do they ?|l mean, unless they're-- There is no ""unless."" Because no one|has said ""Whoopsidaisies"" for 50 years. And even then it was-- it was just|little girls with blonde ringlets. Exactly. Right.|So here we go again. Oh ! Oh ! Whoopsidaisies. Yeah, well, it's a disease.|lt's a clinical thing. l'm taking pills and having injections.|And l'm told it won't last long. - Okay, stand aside.|- l don't think that's a good idea. Really, it's quite, um, tricky.|Anna. Anna, don't. lt's harder than it--|No, it's not. lt's easy. Come on, Flopsy. Right. All right. Oh, bugger. Oh, God,|this could be very unpleasant. Ay !|Bugger, bugger. Now what in the world in this garden|could make that ordeal worthwhile ? Nice garden. ""For June who loved this garden. From Joseph who always sat beside her.'' Some people do spend|their whole lives together. Come and sit with me. Bollocks ! Bollocks ! - Have you seen my glasses ?|- No, afraid not. Big, big bollocks !|Average day, my glasses are everywhere. Everywhere l look|there's a pair of glasses. But when l want to go to the cinema,|they've vanished. lt's one of life's real cruelties. That's compared to, like,|earthquakes in the Far East|or testicular cancer, is it ? Oh, shit.|ls that the time ? Thanks for all your help|on the glasses thing. Oh, you're welcome.|Did you find them ? - Sort of.|- Great. So who left who ? - Uh, she left me.|- Why ? - She saw through me.|- Uh-oh. That's not good. You can give me|Anna Scott any day. l didn't like her last film. Fell asleep|as soon as the lights went down. l don't really care|what the film's like. Any film with her in,|it's fine by me. She's not my type at all.|l prefer the other one. You know, blonde, sweet-looking. You know, what's-her-name. Has an orgasm every time|you take her out for a cup of coffee. Meg Ryan. No, she's too wholesome.|The point about Miss Scott is... she's got that twinkle in her eyes. Probably drug-induced.|Spends most of her life in bloody rehab. Well, whatever.|She's so clearly up for it. You see, most girls, they're all like,|""Stay away, chum."" But Anna,|she is absolutely gagging for it. Do you know that in over 50°%|of the languages, the word for ""actress"" is|the same as the word for ""prostitute"" ? Where did you get that from ? And Anna is your definitive actress, someone really filthy|you can just flip over and start again. - Right, that's it. Sorry.|- No, no. There's really no point. Um, sorry--|sorry to disturb you guys. - But, um--|- Can l help ? Well, yeah. l wish l hadn't overheard|your conversation, but l did. And, um, l just think, you know, the person you're talking about|is a real person. And l think she probably deserves|a little bit more consideration... rather than having jerks like you|drooling over her. Oh, sod off, mate.|What are you, her dad ? - l'm sorry.|- No, l love that you tried. Time was l'd have done the same thing.|ln fact-- Hi. Oh, my God. l just wanted to apologize for|my friend. He's very sensitive. Uh, look, l'm sorr-- No, no, leave it. lt's, you know--|l'm sure you didn't mean any harm. l'm sure it was just friendly banter. l'm sure you guys have dicks|the size of peanuts. Enjoy your dinner. The tuna's really good. l shouldn't have done that.|l shouldn't have done that. - No, you were brilliant.|- l'm rash and l'm stupid. What am l doing with you ? Uh, l don't know, l'm afraid. l don't either. Here we are. Yes. - Well, look--|- Do you wanna come up ? Well, there seems to be...|lots of reasons why l shouldn't, so-- There are lots of reasons. Do you wanna come up ? Give me five minutes ? To be able to do that|is such a wonderful thing. - You've got to go.|- Why ? Because my boyfriend who was in America|is, in fact, now in the next room. - Boyfriend ?|- Yes. - Baby, who is it ?|- Uh, it's, uh-- - Uh--|- Uh, room service. Oh. How you doing ? l thought you guys|always wore those, uh, penguin coats. Usually we do. But l was just, uh--|just changed to go home. And, um, then l thought|l'd take this final call. Oh, great. lf you don't mind,|l would like something too. Could you bring me up some|really, really cold water ? l'll see what l can do. - Still, not sparkling.|- Absolutely. lce-cold still water. Unless it's illegal in the U.K. to serve|beverages below room temperature. l wouldn't want you going to jail|just to satisfy my whim, now. - No, l'm sure it's fine.|- Thank you. Hey, one more thing. Could you adios these dirty dishes|and take out that trash too ? - Uh--|- Right. No. No. Um, don't-- don't--|don't do that. l don't think|it's his job to clear. Oh, l'm sorry. l'm sorry.|What's your name, man ? Bernie. Oh, listen, Bernie. Thank you.|l really appreciate it. Hey, you. So, tell me. Tell me, tell me.|Good surprise or nasty surprise ? - Good surprise.|- Oh, you're such a liar. She hates surprises.|Hey, what are you gonna order ? - Huh ?|- From him. What are you gonna order ? Um, l haven't decided yet. Oh, well, don't overdo it. l don't want people saying,|""There goes that famous actor|with the big, fat girlfriend."" l should leave. This is a fairly strange reality|to be faced with. l'm so sorry. l don't know... what to say. Well, l think, um, ""goodbye"" is traditional. Come on. Open up. This is me.|Spikey. l'm in contact with some quite|important spiritual vibrations. Come on.|Hit me with it. - There's this girl--|- Aha. See, l been gettin' a female vibe.|Good. Speak on, dear friend. She's someone who... can't be mine, and, uh, it's as if l've taken love heroin,|and now l can't ever have it again. l've opened Pandora's box|and there's trouble inside. Yeah. Tricky. Tricky. l knew a girl at school|called Pandora. Never got to see her box or-- Right. Right. Thanks. That's very helpful. You didn't know|she had a boyfriend ? Why ? Did you ? Oh, bloody hell.|l don't believe it. My whole life ruined because|l don't read Hello magazine. Let's face facts.|This was always a no-win situation. Anna's... a goddess. You know what happens to mortals|who get involved with the gods. - Buggered, is it ?|- Every time. But don't despair. l think l have|the solution to your problems. - Really ?|- Mm-hmm. Her name is Tessa. She works in the Contracts Department. The hair, l admit,|is unfashionably frizzy, but she's bright as a button and kisses|like a nymphomaniac on death row. Apparently. Now... try. l got completely lost. lt's very difficult, isn't it ?|Everything's got the word|""Kensington"" in it. Kensington Park Road. Kensington Garden.|Kensington bloody Park Garden. - Tessa, this is Bella, my wife.|- Hello. - You're in a wheelchair.|- That's right. And this is William. - Hello, William.|- Hi. - Max has told me everything about you.|- Has he ? Oh, yes.|You are a naughty boy. - Wine ?|- Oh, yes, please. Come on, Willie.|Let's get sloshed. - Red or white ?|- Red. Keziah. - Some woodcock ?|- No, thank you. l'm a fruitarian. What is a fruitarian, exactly ? We believe that|fruits and vegetables have feelings, so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually|fallen from the tree or bush, that are, in fact, dead already. Ah. Oh, right. Right. So, um, these carrots ? - Have been murdered, yes.|- Murdered. Poor old carrots.|That's-- That's beastly. Delicious coffee. l'm sorry about the lamb. No. l thought it was...|really, you know, interesting. lnteresting means inedible. Really inedible. Yes, you're right. Well, maybe we'll meet again. Yeah, yeah.|That would be, uh-- be great. Bye. Well ? Perfect. Absolutely perfect. And ? l think you've forgotten|what an unusual situation you two have. To find someone you actually... love,|who'll love you. The chances are always minuscule. Look at me. Apart from the American, l've only|loved two girls, both total disasters. - That's not fair.|- One of them marries me,|then leaves me... faster than you can say|""lndiana Jones."" And the other-- who seriously|ought to have known better-- casually marries my best friend. - She still loves you, though.|- ln a depressingly asexual way. l never fancied you much, actually. Oh, God. l loved you.|You were terribly funny, but... all that kissing my ears. l don't believe it.|This is just getting worse. l shall find myself 30 years from now|still sitting on this sofa. - Do you wanna stay ?|- Yeah. Why not ? All that awaits me at home|is a masturbating Welshman. Here we go. - Good night.|- Night. - See you.|- Right. Guilty.|Very, very guilty. So it seems. Hi. Can l come in ? Come in. They were taken years ago. l know it was-- But l was poor and--|lt happens a lot. That's not an excuse.|l just-- But to make matters worse, it now appears as though... someone was filming me as well. So what was a stupid|photo shoot... now looks like a porn film. The pictures have been sold|and they're just... everywhere. l didn't know where to go. The hotel's surrounded. l know it's been months, but-- This is the place. Thank you. l'm just in London... for two days,|but what with your papers, it's the worst place to be. These pictures are just so horrible,|and they're so grainy. lt makes me look like-- Don't think about it. We'll sort it out. What would you like ?|Tea ? Bath ? A bath would be great. Oh, Christ alive ! Brilliant. Fantastic. Magnificent. You must be Spike. - Hi.|- Just... checkin'. Thank you, God. l'm really sorry about last time. - Oh--|- He just flew in. - l had no idea.|- All right. ln fact, l had no idea|if he was ever gonna fly in again. lt's not often one|has the opportunity to adios... the plates of|a major Hollywood film star. lt was, um--|lt was thrilling for me. So how is he ? l don't know. lt just got to the point... where l couldn't remember|any of the reasons why we were together. And you and love ? Oh, well, there's a question, um, without an interesting answer. l have thought about you. - Oh.|- lt's just that... any time l've tried to keep... anything normal|with a person that was... normal,|it's just been a disaster. Listen, l appreciate that.|Absolutely. So what is that,|a film you're doing ? Um, start in L.A. on Tuesday. Would you like me to|take you through your lines ? Would you ?|'Cause it's all talk, talk, talk. Hand it over. Right.|Um, basic plot ? l'm a difficult but brilliant|junior officer... who in about 20 minutes is gonna|save the world from nuclear disaster. Mm-hmm. Okay.|Well done, you. ""Message from Command. Would you|like them to send in the H.K.'s ?"" No. Turn over four T.R.S.'s|and tell them we need radar feedback... before the K.F.T.'s return at 1900. Then inform the Pentagon we'll need|Black Star cover from 1000 through 1215. And if you say one word about how many|mistakes l made in that speech,|l'll pelt you with olives. - Very well, Captain.|l'll pass that on straightaway.|- Thank you. - How many mistakes did l make ?|- Eleven. - Damn it. And Wainwright--|- Cartwright. Cartwright, Wainwright,|whatever your name is, l promised little Jimmy|l'd be home for his birthday, so could you get a message to him|that l may be late. Certainly.|And, uh, little Johnny ? - My son's name is Johnny ?|- Yep. - Then get a message to him too.|- l'll do what l can, Captain, but l can't promise anything. And Cartwright goes. - What do you think ?|- Gripping. lt's not Jane Austen. lt's not Henry James,|but it's... gripping. - Think l should do Henry James instead?|- You would be brilliant. But this writer-- writers--|they're pretty damn good too. You never get anyone|on Wings of the Dove saying, ""lnform the Pentagon|we need Black Star cover."" For me the book is the poorer for it. l can't believe you have that picture. You like Chagall ? l do. lt feels like|how love should be-- floating through a dark blue sky. With a goat, playing a violin. Well, yes. Happiness isn't happiness|without a violin-playing goat. You have big feet. Yes.|Yes, always have had. You know what they say|about men with big feet. No.|What's that ? Uh, big feet, large... shoes. The thing that is so irritating... is that now l'm so fierce|when it comes to nudity clauses. You actually have... clauses|in your contract about nudity ? Definitely. ""You may show the dent of the top of the|artist's buttocks, but neither cheek."" Or if there's|a stunt bottom being used... ""artist must have full consultation."" - You have a stunt bottom ?|- l could have a stunt bottom, yes. Are people tempted to go|for better bottoms than their own? Yeah. l would.|This is important stuff. lt's one hell of a job, isn't it ?|What do you put on your passport ? ""Profession: Mel Gibson's bottom."" Actually, Mel does his own ass work. - Right.|- Why wouldn't he ? - Absolutely.|- lt's delicious. What, the ice cream|or Mel Gibson's bottom ? Both. Equally. But you wouldn't necessarily lick both ? Well, this is tart. And fuzz-free. And, uh-- Bedroom.|There's clean sheets. Today's been a good day, which in the circumstances is... unexpected. Thank you. Anyway, um, time for bed. Or sofa bed. Good night. Good night. Oh, my God. Hello ? Hello. -Spike.|-l wonder if l could have a little word. - Right.|- l don't want to interfere or anything, but she's just split up|from her boyfriend, right ? - Maybe.|- And she's in your house. - Yes.|- And you get on very well. - Yes.|- Well, isn't this, perhaps, a nice opportunity to... slip her one. Spike, for God's sakes.|She's in trouble. Get a grip. You think it's the wrong moment.|Fair enough. - Do you mind if l have a go ?|- Spike ! - Okay.|- l'll talk to you in the morning. Okay.|Might be too late, but okay. Please, sod off. - Okay. All right.|- No. No, no ! Wait ! l thought you were,|um, someone else. l thought you were Spike.|l'm thrilled that you're not. Wow. What ? Nothing. lt does strike me as, well, surreal that l'm allowed|to see you naked. - You and every person in this country.|- l'm sorry. What is it about men and nudity, huh ? Particularly breasts. - How can you be so interested in them ?|- Well-- But, seriously,|they're just breasts. Every second person|in the world has them. More than that, when you think about it.|Meat Loaf has a very nice pair. But they're odd-looking. They're for milk.|Your mother has them. You've seen a thousand of them.|What's all the fuss about ? Actually, l can't think|what it is, really. Let me just have a quick look. Nope, nope. Beats me. Rita Hayworth used to say, ""They go to bed with Gilda,|they wake up with me."" - Who was Gilda ?|- Her most famous part. Men went to bed with the dream, and they didn't like it|when they woke up with the reality. Do you feel that way ? You are lovelier this morning|than you have ever been. l'll be right back. Breakfast in bed. - Oh.|- Or it's brunch or lunch or something. My God. Can l stay a bit longer ? Stay forever. Okay.|Oh. Forgot the jam. l'll get the jam,|you get the door. Jesus Christ. What ? What is it ? - Nothing, really.|- You're up to something. Anna, no, please ! My God. And they got a picture of you|dressed like that. Yes. Undressed like this, yeah. - Morning, darling ones.|- lt's me. The press are here. No, there are hundreds of them. My brilliant plan|was not so brilliant. l know. l know. l know.|Just get over here. Damn it. - Um, l wouldn't go outside.|- Why not ? - Just take my word for it.|- Oh. How did l look ?|Not bad. Not at all bad.|Well-chosen briefs, l'd say. Chicks love grey. Nice firm buttocks. How are you doing ? How do you think l'm doing ? - l don't know what happened.|- l do. Your furry friend thought he'd make|a buck telling the papers where l was. - That's not true.|- Really ? The entire British press|got up this morning and thought,|""l know where Anna Scott is. She's in that house with the blue door|in Notting Hill.'' Then you go out|in your goddam underwear ! -l went out in my goddam underwear too.|-Get out ! Sorry. - l'm so sorry.|- This is such an unbelievable mess. l come to you to protect myself|against more crappy gossip, and now l've landed in it|all over again. For God's sake, l've got a boyfriend ! - You have ?|- As far as they're concerned l do. And now, tomorrow there'll be|pictures of you in every newspaper|from here to Timbuktu ! l know that, but...|just let's stay calm. You stay calm ! This is a perfect|situation for you, isn't it? Minimum input, maximum publicity. Everywhere you go, people will say,|""Well done, you. You slept with that actress.|We saw the pictures.'' - That is spectacularly unfair.|- That's yours. Maybe it'll even help business. Buy a boring book about Egypt|from the guy that screwed Anna Scott. Stop ! Stop ! l beg you ! Calm down.|How about a cup of tea ? l don't want|a goddam cup of tea. l just wanna go home. Spike, see who that is,|and put some clothes on, for God's sake. Looks like a chauffeur to me. Spike owes you|an expensive dinner or holiday, depending who's got the brains|to get the going rate on betrayal. That is not true.|Wait a minute. This is crazy behaviour. Can't we just|laugh about all this ? Seriously. ln the huge sweep of things,|this stuff doesn't matter. What he's gonna say next is|there's people starving in the Sudan. Well, there are, and we don't|have to go anywhere near that far. My best friend slipped down stairs,|cracked her back... and she's in a wheelchair|for the rest of her life. All l'm asking for is|a normal amount of perspective. You're right.|Of course, you're right. lt's just that l've dealt|with this garbage for ten years. You've had it for ten minutes. Our perspectives are very different. Today's newspapers will be lining|tomorrow's wastepaper bin. - Excuse me ?|- You know. lt's just one day. Tomorrow, today's papers|will all have been thrown out. You really don't get it. This story will be filed. Every time anyone writes anything|about me, they'll dig up these photos. Newspapers last forever. l'll regret this forever. Right. Right. l will feel the opposite, if that's okay by you, and, uh, always be glad that you...|came to stay. But, um, you're probably right. You better go. Was it you ? l may have told a few people|down at the pub. Right. Have l got something for you. Something|which will make you love me so much, you will want to hug me every day|for the rest of my life. Blimey. What is it ? Phone number of Anna Scott's agent|in London... and her agent in New York. Listen, you think about her all|the time. Now you can ring her. Yeah. Brilliant. Thanks. l'll see you tonight.|Hey, Marty. Ooh ! Sexy cardi. Shh ! Hello !|l have a little speech to make. l won't stand up because|l can't... be bothered. Exactly a year ago today, this man here|started the finest restaurant in London. - Hear, hear.|- Thank you very much. Unfortunately,|no one ever came to eat here. lt's a tiny hiccup. And so we have to face the fact|that from next week, we must find somewhere new to eat. l just want to say to Tony...|don't take it personally. The more l think about things, the more|l see no rhyme or reason in life. No one knows why some things work out|and some things don't. Why some of us get lucky... - and some of us--|- Get fired. - What ?|- No ! Yeah, well, it seems|they're shifting the whole outfit... much more towards|the emerging markets. And, of course, well,|l was total crap, so-- A toast to Bernie-- the worst|stockbroker in the whole world. l thank you.|And Tony, the worst restaurateur. - Tony and Bernie. Both crap...|- The terrible two. in their own special ways. Since it's an evening|of announcements, uh, l've also got one. Um, l've decided to get engaged. l've found myself a nice,|slightly odd-looking bloke... who l know is gonna make me happy|for the rest of my life. Wait a sec. l mean, l-- l'm your brother. l don't know|anything about this. ls he-- ls he financially viable ? He's an artist...|with brilliant prospects. This is a secret|you've been keeping from me. By the way, it's you. - Me ?|- What do you think ? Well, yeah. Groovy. Excuse me.|Are there any more announcements ? Well, actually, yes. l feel l should|apologize to everyone... for my behaviour|over the last six months. l have, as you know,|been somewhat down in the mouth. There's an understatement.|There are dead people on better form. But l just wish to make it clear|that l've turned a corner, and, um, henceforward intend|to be impressively happy. Without a love of my own -Blue moon|-Ba-boom, ba-boom You knew just what l was there for Oh, God. l'm horribly drunk. You heard me saying a prayer for - Come here.|-Ba-boom, ba-boom Someone l really could care for So you've laid the ghost ? l believe l have. Don't give a damn|about the famous girl? No. No, l don't think l do. Which means you won't be distracted|by the fact that she's back in London... grasping her Oscar... and currently to be found filming,|most days, on Hampstead Heath. Oh, God, no. So not over her, in fact. - Can l help you ?|- Yeah, l'm, um-- - l'm looking for Anna Scott.|- Does she know you're coming ? No. No, uh, she doesn't. - l'm afraid l can't let you through.|- Right. l mean, l am actually a friend.|l'm not a lunatic, but-- - No, you basically, er--|- Can't let you through, sir. Well, this is, uh-- l only found out|you were here yesterday. - l was going to call, but l--|- Uh, Anna. Yes. Um-- Things aren't going very well,|and it's our last day. Absolutely, yeah.|You're clearly very busy. But if-- if you could wait, there are... things to say. Okay. Drink tea.|There's lots of tea. Come and have a look. Are you a fan of Henry James ? - This is a Henry James film ?|- Yeah. This is, uh, Harry. He'll give you a pair of headphones|so you can hear the dialogue. - Thank you very much.|- No problem. - Hi.|- Hi. Here we go. - Volume's on the side. Have a seat.|- Thank you. We are living in cloud cuckoo land.|We'll never get this done today. We've got to.|l have to be in New York on Thursday. Oh, stop showing off.|God, that's an enormous ass. - l'm not listening.|- But seriously, it's not fair. So many tragic young teenagers|with anorexia... and that girl has an ass|she could perfectly well share around... with at least ten other women|and still be big-bottomed. l would think, looking at|something nice like that, you and your...|bony little excuse for an arse... would be well advised to keep quiet. Now down to business.|The end of the scene. Um, l ask you when you're|telling everyone, and you say-- Um, tomorrow will be soon enough. And then l-- Right. Okay. Say, who was that rather diffident chap|l saw you talking to round the back ? No one. Just some guy from the past. l-- lt's a bit of an awkward situation.|l don't know what he's doing here. 'Course. Thanks. l've got to, um-- Any time. Ladies and gentlemen,|can we have you on your first marks ? On your first marks ! Uh, l-l do hate to disturb you|whilst you're cooking the books, but, uh, there's a delivery for you. Martin, really.|Can't you just do it yourself ? But you see, this is not for the shop.|This is for you. Right. Okay. Tell me, if l employ a wet rag, would l|have to pay it as much as l pay you ? Hi. Hello. You disappeared. Yeah. Yeah. Um-- l had to leave.|l didn't want to disturb. - How have you been ?|- Fine, fine. Everything much the same. When they change the law,|Spike and l will marry immediately. Whereas you, l've watched in wonder. - Awards, glory.|- Oh, no. lt's-- lt's all nonsense, believe me. l'd no idea how much nonsense|it was, but... nonsense it all is. Well, um-- Yesterday was our last day of filming,|so... l'm leaving. But, um-- l brought this for you from home, so l thought l'd give it to you. Thank you. Shall l-- Oh, no, don't open it now.|l'll be embarrassed. Well, thank you. l don't know|what it's for, but thanks anyway. Actually, l had it in my apartment,|and l thought you'd-- But when it came to it,|l didn't know how to call, having behaved so badly. Twice. So it's just been|sitting in the hotel. Then you came and... l figured-- The thing is-- The thing is-- What ? What is the thing ? Don't even think about it.|Go away immediately. - Go away.|- Right. Sorry. You were saying ? Yes. l have to go away today, but l... wondered if l didn't... whether you might|let me see you a little, or... a lot, maybe. See if you could like me again. But yesterday|that actor asked you who l was, and you just|dismissed me out of hand. l heard. You had a microphone.|l had headphones. You expect me|to tell the truth about my life... to the most indiscreet man|in England ? Uh, excuse me. lt's your mother on the phone. Will you tell her|l'll ring her back ? l've actually tried that tack, but|she said you've said that once before, and it's now been about 24 hours... and the foot that was purple|is now sort of blackish in colour and-- Right, right. Yeah.|Perfect timing, as ever. Martin, hold the fort a second. Uh, yes. All right. Um, could l just say-- l thought Ghost|was the most wonderful film. - ls that right ?|- Oh, yes. Um, l've always wondered... what Patrick Swayze's like|in-- in-- in real life. l can't say that l know Patrick|all that well. He wasn't that friendly during filming ? Well, l'm sure he was friendly to|Demi Moore who acted with him in Ghost. Oh. Oh, right. Sorry. Always been a bit of an ass. Um, anyway-- Um-- Well, it was lovely to meet you. l'm a huge, huge fan of yours. And Demi's, of course. Sorry. That's fine. There's always a pause when the jury|goes out to consider their verdict. Anna, look, um-- l'm a fairly levelheaded bloke, not often in and out of love. But, uh-- Can l just say no to your... kind request and, uh, leave it at that ? Yes. Fine. Of course. l-- Of course. l'll just be going, then.|lt was nice to see you. The thing is, with you l'm in real... danger. lt seems like a... perfect situation, apart from that|foul temper of yours, but... my relatively inexperienced heart|would, l fear, not... recover, uh, if l was... once again cast aside,|as l would absolutely expect to be. There are just too many pictures of you,|too many films. You'd go and l'd be, uh, well, buggered, basically. That really is a real no, isn't it ? l live in Notting Hill.|You live in... Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world|knows who you are. My mother has trouble|remembering my name. Fine. Fine. Good decision.|Good decision. The fame thing isn't really real,|you know ? And don't forget l'm-- l'm also just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love her. Goodbye. So what do you think ?|Good move ? Yeah, good move. l mean, when all's said and done,|she's nothing special. l saw her taking her trousers down, and l definitely glimpsed|some cellulite down there. Good decision, yeah. All actresses are as mad as snakes. - Tones, what do you reckon ?|- Never met her, never want to. - Brilliant. Max ?|- Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian. Great. Thanks. Brilliant. l was called and l came. What's up ? William's just turned down Anna Scott. You daft prick. No, no.|No, no, it's actually quite sensible. That painting|isn't the original, is it ? Um, you know,|l think it might be, yeah. But she said|she wanted to go out with you. - Yeah.|- Well, that's nice. What ? Well, you know, anyone saying they wanna go out with you|is pretty great, isn't it ? lt was... sort of... sweet, actually. Um, l mean,|l know she's an actress and all that... so she can... deliver a line, but, um, she said she might be|as famous as she can be, but also that she was... just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him... to love her. Oh, sod a dog. l've made|the wrong decision, haven't l ? Yeah. Max, how fast is your car ? - Good luck !|- lf anyone gets in our way,|we have small nuclear devices. - Where to ?|- All l can think is The Ritz. - Where's Bella ?|- She's not coming. - Oh, sod that. Bernie, in the back.|- What ? Max, l'm okay. Come on, babe. Which way are you going ? Down Kensington Church Street, then|Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner. - No, crazy. Go along Bayswater.|- That's right. Then Park Lane. No, straight down to the Cromwell Road,|then left. Stop right there !|l will decide the route. All right ? Sorry, Max. James Bond never has to put up|with this sort of shit. Turn right ! - l can't. lt's one way.|- Do a U-turn. Oh, sod it. Hold on. Brilliant ! Bloody hell, this is fun ! Sorry. Hi.|ls Miss Scott staying here ? - No, sir.|- How 'bout Miss Flintstone ? - No, sir.|- Uh, Bambi ? - No, sir.|- Or, um-- l don't know.|Beavis or Butthead ? No, sir. Thanks. Thanks. There was a Miss Pocahontas, but she checked out|about an hour ago. l believe she's holding|a press conference at the Savoy... before flying to America. We have liftoff. You have message for Takiama ? l'll just check, sir. Bugger this for a bunch of bananas. Stop ! Stop ! Stop !|Stay there ! Go ! Go ! Whoa, whoa, whoa ! Hang on ! Come on ! No ! Wait ! Wait there ! Come on ! Come on ! Wait ! Whoa, whoa, whoa ! Go on !|Through, through ! You're my hero ! Whoa ! Down, boy. Excuse me. - Yes ?|- Where's the press conference, please ? - Are you an accredited|member of the press ?|- Yep. - There you go.|- That's a Blockbuster Video|membership card, sir. That's right.|l work for their in-house magazine. - Movies Are Our Business.|- l'm sorry, sir. - He's with me.|- And you are ? Writing an article on how London hotels|treat people in wheelchairs. Yes, of course, madam.|lt's in the Lancaster Room. Though l'm afraid you're rather late. Run ! Does this mean that Miss Scott|will not be publicizing her next film ? No, it absolutely|does not mean that. She'll be abiding by|all her present commitments. She just won't be making|any more for the next year. When will the film be released ? At the moment,|the plan is to release in America... towards the end of the autumn, and over here around Christmas|or early in the new year. Right ! Dominic. Anna, how much longer are you|staying in the U.K., then ? No time at all.|l leave tonight. Which is why we have to round things|up now, so final questions, please. Yes. Lady there. ls your decision to take|a year off anything to do... with the rumours about Jeff|and his present leading lady ? - Absolutely not.|- Do you believe the rumours ? Well, it's really|not my business any more. Though l will say, from my experience,|rumours about Jeff do tend to be true. Yeah. The last time you were here, there|were some fairly graphic photographs... taken of you|with a young English guy. So, uh, what happened there ? He was just a friend.|We're still friends, l think. Right, um-- Yes. Gentleman in the pink shirt. Yes. Miss Scott, are there any circumstances in which... the two of you... might be more than just good friends ? l hoped there would be, but no,|l'm... assured there aren't. - But what would you say if--|- Sorry. Just the one question, please. No, it's all right.|You were saying ? l was just wondering if, uh, it turned out that this person, uh-- Thacker. His name was Thacker. Thanks, thanks. l just wondered whether if... Mr Thacker realized he'd been|a daft prick... and got down on his knees and...|begged you to reconsider, whether you would, in fact, then... reconsider ? Yes, l believe l would. That's very good news.|Um-- The readers of Horse & Hound|will be absolutely delighted. Right. Uh, Dominic, if you'd|like to ask your question again ? Yeah ? Anna, how long are you|intending to stay here in Britain ? lndefinitely. - What happened ?|- lt was good. |
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