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Object of My Affection The

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[People Chattering ]
[Applause ]
Welcome to the Brinkley School|and our first grade show.
I'm George Hanson and this|afternoon we are proud to present...
our own adaptation|of The Little Mermaid.
Music will get provided by the Brinkley|Trio led by my co-teacher, Melissa Marx.
And now, on with the show.
Hi, I'm Nina Borowski,|and I think all of you are new here,
so welcome to the Coggle|Hill Community Center.
I'll get our group leader, and we can|talk about whatever you'd like.
School, home,|jogs, sex, anything.
[George]|Sea Snakes.
Miss anything?.
- Honey, I just signed Castro.|- Shh.
Sea Witch.|Sally, you're on.
[ Cackling]
I know exactly|what you've come for.
Well, there's this gay I've been|seeing and now he wants to fuck me.
[ Girl #1 ]|He's only gonna hurt you.
- [ Girl #2 ] Do you wanna fuck him?|- Well, he's cute.
- [ All Laughing ]|- Does he say he loves you?.
Yeah, gut he just wants|to get in my pants.
But do you love him?.|Nina, isn't that right?.
Well, I don't know about that.
But what I do know is,|if have sex with a guy,
I want him to be my friend.
So let's start with-|Do you like him?
I will give you anything|if can have my prince.
Come with me then.
And whilst my slave girl|weaves her magic spell,
I will cut off your tongue!
Slave girl, play!
[ Etude ]
Where is he?
Who are you|looking for, George?
Just a friend of mine.
He says if Id. don’t fuck him,|he's gonna find another girlfriend..
All right, Kiesha, I don't|claim to be an expert on love,
gut I do know it can|screw up your life.
So should I do it?
You can say no.
Keeping your boyfriend happy|is not your full-time jog.
You've got school,|family, work,
your friends.
You call the shots.
- [Applause ]|- You guys were great.
All right, headed through.|Excuse us. Come on.
Get in line.|Get in line.
- Daddy!|- Oh, you were great!|You were terrific!
- I loved you up there.|- Mommy.
Mr. Hanson, that was a great show.|I think that was your best yet.
Well, we had a great|Sea Witch and a great cast.
Don't be so humble.|I've seen a lot of kids shows.|They gore the hell out of me.
- This one had grit.|- Grit?
Yeah, the real stuff, you know.|It wasn't all gooey.
- Thank you, Mr. Miller.|- Call me Sydney.|Come on, guys. Let's go.
George, we're having a few|people over for dinner tonight.
- We'd love it if you’d join us.|- Oh, that would be great.|Yeah, do that.
Oh, Gosh. I'm sorry, Mrs. Miller.|I'm meeting a friend.
Well, bring a friend. It's very casual.|Everyone's dying to meet you.
- Really?|- Listen, you're a hero.
Who cares if I can get Fidel|a million dollars to write his diary?
- You're fighting|for the future of this country.|- We'll see you at 7:30.
You were so good. I can't|believe how good you were.
Where's Dr. Joley?
I'd kill my boyfriend|if he missed my show.
Bye-bye. Good jog,|you guys. That was great.
- Just give me back two.|- Hey.
Thank you. I got stuck|in a faculty meeting,|and then the subway-
And then the dog|ate your homework.
See you tomorrow, George.
- I just hate myself for missing this.|- It's okay, really. It's okay.
- Hungry?|I'm in the mood for sushi.|- Oh, I wish.
I just told Constance Miller|we'd have dinner at her house.
I'm sorry Joley,|she ambushed me.
But don’t worry,|she said it was casual.
George, Sidney Miller is the most|powerful literary agent in the world.
Casual to the Millers|is not casual to us.
And actually, I was hoping|we could talk tonight, alone.
- Okay, I'll cancel.|- Can't cancel.|It's important for your career.
- Come on. We'll talk later.|- Are you sure?
Well, I wrote it as|an academic gook, gut I think|it could be a best seller.
And even a miniseries.|And Sean Connery would make|a great George Bernard Shaw.
May be your friend George|could do something with it.
That was a great show|this afternoon.
- So did you go to a teacher's college?|- I was premed in college.
- Oh, God. Your poor mother.|- [ Constance ] George.
George, I want you to meet|my great friend, Joyce Meyers.
- Oh, Joyce.|- Daralee
How are you?|I so wanted to see your show,
gut I got caught up|in a lunch for King Hussein.
How is he? Sydney's waiting|for his gook. Shall we?.
Well, Nour is adorable and|the children are delicious.
- [ Chattering ]|- People don't read anymore.
We're in a post-literate society|so they don't know what to do-
Dr. Joley seems to have made|a hit with my stepsister.
- People learn how to respond-|- [ Constance ] How long|have you two been together?
- Uh, four years.|- You know, Sidney represents Ru Paul.
We'll have|you all over sometime.
Don’t you think it's time|for a revised. Encyclopedia.|of the American Theater?
- Emery, when's the Pavarotti gala?.|- Uh, next week.
You've done such wonderful|things for that company.
- It sounds like your|show was a huge hit.|- The kids worked really hard.
- I'm sorry I missed it.|- Oh, that's okay.
I was in bed|with King Hussein.
- George Hanson.|- Nina Borowski. Hi.
- Oh, so, you're the stepsister.|- Uh-huh.
Yeah, I bring the income level|down at Constance's parties|by at least three figures.
- Yeah, I can help you|in that department.|- Oh, thank you.
My pleasure.
I've heard all about you from|Dr. Joley. Sorry about you and him.
Oh. Okay, here we go.
Come here. Come here.
You see that man who just|walked in standing there|with my evil stepsister?
- Mm-hmm.|- That's my husband..
- Are you married?.|- No, I'm not.
But she's hoping that I'll marry that|man because she hates my boyfriend.
You'll meet her later.|Excuse me. Oh, Joyce.
All right, we're clear.
- She's always doing this to me.|- Why?
Oh, because my boyfriend’s|a penniless legal-aid lawyer,
I'm a counselor|at a community center,
and I live in|a walk-up in Brooklyn.
Oh, well, it sounds fine to me.|I love Brooklyn.
Yeah, me too.
You know, you should|come and visit me.
I mean, there's some really nice|apartments in my neighborhood.
I'm afraid I'm not|looking for an apartment.
- You're not?.|- No, I live with Joley.
But he told me at dinner that you|might be looking for a place soon.
He told you what?.
Actually, when he found out|I had a spare room, he asked|if you could move in with me.
- That's insane.|- Well, I thought so.
It's not every day I invite the lover|of my dinner companion to live with me,
gut, you know,|if you’re desperate-
I don't know what|you're talking about.
[Joley]All we have to do is get|the rights to photographs.
I don't believe it|would be that complicated..
My point is, I believe that it|could be extremely commercial.
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
You know, may be I have|this completely backwards.
May be he meant for the two|of you to move to Brooklyn.
What else did he say?
Have you never|discussed this before?
No, this is|a total first for me.
- [ Constance ] Nina?|- Oh, my God.
Nina, this is Stephen Saint.
Hi. I was asking|Constance all about you.
- Hello, George.|- You are very fresh and natural.
He is the most fabulous|creative director at Saatchi's.
And you're a cute shrink.|That's an uneatable combination.
My sister likes|to say I'm a shrink.
- I'm actually a social worker. Hi.|- Hi.
George, come with me. I'm having|problems with my centerpiece.
Oh, hey. I think the work|that you do is fantastic.
I think you got|a lot of courage.
George, I'm in the gook|if there’s anything I can do.
- I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.|- What did she say?.
You were great.|You were just great.
And those women.|My God, oh.
They were swooning|all over you.
You were|the center of attention.
And I, of course, was stuck|next to that social worker.
Oh, well.
- You told her I wanted|to move to Brooklyn.|- What?.
Goddamn it, Joley.|You told her I was moving out.
I told her you might|be looking for an apartment.
I wanted to wait till your play|was open to bring any of this up.
Well, you certainly|didn't waste any time.
George, can we talk|about this when we get home?
- This isn't really appropriate.|- Really?
But it's entirely appropriate|to hear my relationship is over|from a complete stranger?
Our relationship isn't over.
Who are you|sleepin' with, Joley?
That's just-
- That's just a little simple.|- I'm a simple guy.|That's why I teach first grade.
- George, I'm going|to be 40 this summer.|- Oh, God.
But we're both too young to|settle for a twin-bedded friendship.
This hasn't really been|working for a long time.
Who've you got|lined up, Joley?
He's a student of mine, gut-
I-I d. on't know what to say.
Is this student the reason|you missed my play?
He's just breaking up with|a woman and he wanted to talk.
Look. I want to be with him,|but I don't want to hurt you.
George, you're my best friend.|What should I do?
Fuck you, Joley,|and fuck your student|and fuck our friendship!
I didn't wanna tell you this|until you were ready.
I'm a nice man, George.
Great neighborhood.
It looks very safe here,|a lot of families.
Hey, look.|I'll call you.
I can't get Showtime or HBO.,|never mind. the Food. Network.
I'm here for Nina Borowski.
After you fix hers,|you come and fix mine.
- Hi.|- Hi.
This is really embarrassing.
Oh, come on in.
I was happy that you called.|I mean, I wasn't happy that|you needed a place to stay,
gut still happy that you called.
Come on up.|I'm on the second floor.
Come on in.
- It's great.|- All right. Let me show you the room.
- Oh, it's nice.|- It could use some personality.
But I know somebody|at the community center|who can make you some curtains.
Oh, good.|This won't be for very long.
I can move in with my brother|as soon as his current|girlfriend moves out.
There's no rush.
And this is the bathroom.
This is my bedroom.
- You get a lot of light.|- Yeah.
And this is the office.
That's it.
It's nice.
Yeah, he's been|engaged. seven times.
Wow. Really, your brother?.
Would. You like me|to fix you up with him?
Oh, thanks. Last thing I need.|I've got my hands full with Vince.
It's ready.
- Can I ask you something?|- Sure.
How come I'm staying|here and he isn't?
Oh, Vince works fine|as it is. Sit down.
- Okay.|- Thanks.
You saved my life, really.
No hot water|between 2:00 and 7:00.
Did you get your television|fixed, Mrs. Sarni?.
Why, you wanna|come over and watch?
Okay, so you have the keys.|You have the phone number.
The indoor buzzer doesn't work.|You know that. The Korean deli|is across from the subway.
It's open till midnight.|Avoid the salad gar.
The toaster's broken.|Use the broiler instead.|The mail comes in the morning.
Don't open the door for any|gas men unless you think either|of us would be interested.
- This is me.|- Well, thanks for everything.
Oh, sure. The subway|is one block that way.
See you later.
- What's happened to Vince?.|- Nothing has happened to Vince.
- What's happened to Joley?.|- Nothing's happened to Joley.
I tried to call you there this morning.|He said you'd moved.
So we did it on Saturday night.
Was it good?.
It was okay until on Sunday|I saw him with another girl.
[ All Clamoring, Indistinct]
Kiesha, I like sex.|And I like goys a lot.
But I'm not about to waste|my time with some guy...
who doesn't see things|the way that I do.
I mean, do you really|need this guy?.
This is the Earth.|And this tack, that's us right here.
And the lamp is the sun.|So, why does it get dark?.
[ All ]|The Earth spins.
Very good. Because the Earth spins.|How do we know that?.
- [Door O. pens ]|- Nina?.
Nina, is that you?.
Hey, George. How are you?.|Vince McBride. You know,|Nina's told me all about you.
- Nice to meet you.|- Yeah, glad you're here, buddy.
I feel getter knowing somebody’s|keeping an eye out for my girl.
- Hey. Vince, meet George.|- We're old friends already.|Join us for a cup of tea?.
- You don't have to|put on a robe for me.|- No, in fact, George,
you could probably take|off all of your clothes and|I don't think Vince would mind.
She's eating me alive. I dote on her,|and she's eating me alive.
See, aren't you glad|you settled down with us?
[Vince ] I was maybe gonna|be a teacher once.
You know, get them|while they’re young.
Teach them they don't have|to believe that somebody else|is holding all the cards.
- Know what I'm saying, George?|- He knows, Vince.
No. He knows|and he doesn't know.
How come you don't teach|at a public school, George?
I got a jog|at the Brinkley School.
But you're a gay guy.|Shouldn't you be sticking up|for the disenfranchised?.
- Can't we talk about the movie?|- Wait a minute.
You mind if ask|how much you get paid?
You make more than|four figures right?.
In the very early five figures.
Oh, Christ almighty.|And they're all fuckin' millionaires.
They couldn't eat lunch|on what they're paying you.
You gotta organize the teachers,|George. I'll help you.
You're all getting screwed..|You know that, don't you?
Well, thanks.|That's all great advice.
But I'm afraid I have|school tomorrow, so-
- It's great to meet you.|- You too.
Good night, George.
Night, George.
You terrorized him.
What are you talking about?|We were having a nice conversation.
You told him he had|the wrong jog and he made no money.
No, no, no.|You weren't listening.
I told him he had|the right jog in the wrong|place and made no money.
You don't even know him.
That never stopped me before.
My stepsister is right.|You are just a bulldozer.
What are you talking about?|I'm a pussycat.
Did I get angry with you|when you let a gay guy move|in here instead of me?. No.
- No, I like him.|- Vince, you don't have to like him.
But here's one thing.|How come it's okay for him to|live on top of you and. not me?
He's not living on top of me,|and he's leaving in two weeks.
No, he's never goin' anywhere.|He's gonna fall in love|with you and turn straight.
- Oh, you're crazy.|- Not if you’re looking at|what I'm looking at.
- Vince.|- What?.
Get in here.
- Hi.|- Hey.
Late night comfort food.|Bad habit.
Shh. Vince is asleep.
He's really very kind.
He just felt threatened by you.
- That's insane.|- No, it isn't.
He asked me|the same thing you did.
Why am I living here|and he isn't?
Bingo. Maybe you|should be the counselor.
Do you love him?.
Whatever that means.
I just don't know|if should be living with him.
Vince can really fill a room.
Did you love Joley?
Well, who knows?
I thought-|I thought so.
- [Sobbing] Oh, God..|- George, I'm sorry.
No, it's-|it's so stupid that-
You know,|I know he's a prick.
I keep thinking|I should have seen it coming.
No, you did nothing wrong.
You just trusted him.
- But you wouldn't|have let this happen.|- Oh, yeah, sure.
I don't trust anybody.
Particularly not amusing, good-looking,|intelligent guys like Joley.
And he has great taste.
Nah, he doesn't have|such great taste.
Otherwise,|he'd still be with you.
Thank you.
- We should go dancing.|- What?
At the community center|on Friday nights. I'm signing us up.
You must think of every dance|as a three-minute love affair.
Boy meets girl.|They fall in love with the music...
and the stars|and the orchestra.
And then, they must part.
[Instrumental Ballad ]
I have no idea|what I'm doing.
I can't dance.
- I can't even dance.|-Just smile.
On the galls of your feet.|You're a butterfly.
Does that mean|left or right?
Head up, young people.|Please, head up, up.
Head up,|young person. Head up.
We're gonna fix you up.|That's what Kennedy|and I have decided.
After all,|what are brothers for?
- I'm healing.|- You're avoiding.
Whenever I call, you're at home or|you're doing mambo with your landlady.
It's not healthy. You've got to get|back out there again.
- Don’t you think so, sweetie?.|- Absolutely.
Honey, I've gotta get back to|the magazine. It was nice meeting you.
- Yeah, you too.|- So, uh, what do you think?.
- Thumbs up, thumbs down?.|- She seems nice.
[ Constance ]|I'm gonna fix you up.
I don't wanna be fixed up.|I have a very nice boyfriend.
He's a Bolshevik.
- It's not going anywhere.|- Why does it have to go anywhere?.
Because at some point you|have to take care of yourself.
I am taking care of myself. I just|don't need the things that you do.
- You've got to meet this guy.|- What guy?.
He's an ear,|nose and throat man.
He was just on the cover|of New York magazine.
George, at some point you’re gonna|have to start taking care of yourself.
I'm taking care of myself.
Listen to me. He's an ear,|nose and throat man.
But there's nothing|wrong with me.
I don't even have a cold.
I have nothing|in common with this guy.
Just have a cup|of coffee with him.
I promise you,|this is quality goods.
- Uh, George Hanson?.|- Yeah.
Oh, I'm Jonathan Goldstein.
You're ad. orable. I mean,|your brother is cute,|but you’re irresistible.
Did anybody ever tell you|you look like a peach?.
So you're an ear,|nose and throat man?.
That's my, you know,|my professional life.
I have other interests that|go below the upper torso.
That's- Hey.
So I heard you're on the cover|of New York magazine.
[ Groans ]
I got 3,000 new patients,|6,000 marriage proposals...
and not a single real date.
- Want another drink?|- Yeah.
- Do you think he's all right?|- Who?.
George. He hasn't been|on a date in a while and|people can be really creepy.
Put your zip code right there.
Nina, he's dating|a famous doctor.
Senora, firma aqui..
What do we do|if he brings him home?.
Well, we'll be happy|in our room and they’ll|be busy in their room.
Sounds very active.
- Mr. Shapiro, you’re all done.|- Can I touch your nose?|It's like a tulip.
Mr. Shapiro, I have to warn you,|this woman has a gay roommate...
who shows no signs|of moving out.
- Big deal, everyone's gay now.|- Yeah, you tell him, Mr. Shapiro.
- Gay?|- Si, senora.
[ Speaking Spanish ]
[Woman Speaking Spanish ]
Oh. Her daughter's a lesbian.|And she's very proud.
- There you go.|- [ Speaking Spanish ]
The New York Mothers|of Latino Lesbians.
Mrs. Ochoa is the president of|New York Mothers of Latino Lesbians.
Good for you.|You're a good mother.
We're queer. We're here.|Get used to it. Don't fuck with us.
See, Mr. Shapiro,|my problem is, I love this woman|and I want to live with her.
- Do you make a living?|- Sure, I'm a lawyer.
Oh, lawyers are the worst|people. Marry me, honey.
I was in children's footwear.
[Knock On Door]
- [Nina ] Hello?|- Hello.
- You there?|- I'm here.
- Hey.|- Hey.
Where's Dr. Goldstein?
I don't know. Home.
I thought maybe you-
I thought maybe not.|Oh, uh, remind me...
to never go|on another blind date.
You don't have to.|Just say no.
Good night.
[ Orchestral Ballad]
Life was a song
You came along
I've laid awake|the whole night through
If but dared.
To think you cared.
This is what I'd say to you
- You were meant for me|- Step, step, quick, quick.|Step, step, quick, quick.
Slow, slow, quick, quick.|Slow, slow, quick, quick.
- Very good.|Very nice, Sylvia, excellent.|- [ Continues ]
Very good, much getter.
No, no, no. Head up,|young person, head up.
- Please excuse us.|- Sure.
- Hello, Nina.|- Oh, hi, Danny.
- Help.|- Look at me.
- No, no, no. Stop it Danny,|come on- Madame Reynolds.|- Please.
- [ All ] T-A-N-G-O.|- [Ballad. Continues ]
[Ballad. Continues ]
Please get up,|young people. Get up.
Now, one, two, side step.|One, two, side step.
Glide, glide.
Smile, Mrs. Houston.|Let the music carry you away.
Quick, quick, step, step.|Quick, quick, step, step.
Well done,|young people, well done.
Well done. Watch them.
[ Continues Speaking,|Indistinct ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
He's so sexy.
- Gene Kelly?.|- Mm. Yeah.
Not my type at all.
What is your type?
It varies, depends.
- Who was the first person|you ever slept with?.|- What is this, 20 questions?.
What?. I wanna know.
Lucy Jane Parnell.
- What?.|- Bellmore High School prom night.
Gave her a real good time.
You slept with a girl?.
Yeah. Lucy was|my high school girlfriend.
What-What happened?.
Well, I went to college|and I found myself...
lusting after the football team|more than the cheerleaders.
So I kind of figured|I was gay.
What happened to Lucy Jane?.
Well, I guess she got married.
Or she runs|an insurance company.
I have no idea don't-
She was so nice.
An unbelievable dancer.|My God, could Lucy tear up the floor.
Was she pretty?.
Yeah. She had these gig eyes...
and. this pouty, little mouth...
and a nose,
it was just like a tulip.
I just wanted to touch it.
It was the most fresh|and natural-looking nose-
Fuck you, George.|Fuck you.
- I just wanted to touch it.|- Stop it. No, don't tickle.|Don't start tickling.
Yesterday we studied. Easter...
and today we're going|to learn about the Jewish|holiday called Passover.
My father's Jewish|and my mother's|Buddhist, gut New Age.
- All right.|- My mother's Episcopal and|her boyfriend’s Ethical Culture.
- Wow.|- Both of my parents are Lutheran.
- [Knock on Door]|- [ Girl #1 ] So what?|Both of my parents are Reform.
[ Girl #2 ] My mother's A. A.|and my father's Christian.
- I'll be right back.|- Okay.
When did you find out?.
About an hour ago.
I don't know what to do.
- Tell me what to do.|- I can't.
Maybe you should|talk to Vince.
- He's the father.|- Oh, Vince.
Vince believes in a woman's|right to choose as long|as he does the choosing.
No. I can't talk to Vince until|I figure out what I want to do.
I just need|some time to think.
Well, I'm here for you, Nina.
Whatever you need|for me to do, I will.
- She hasn't spoken|to me in three weeks.|- It's not personal.
- She's been busy.|- Is she seeing somebody else?
She's a very beautiful girl. There's|men hitting on her all the time.
There's no one else, Vince.
So you two still spend|a lot of time together, right?.
What sort of things|do you do together?.
Well, we talk.|You know, we go to the movies.
Sometimes we go dancing.|Regular stuff.
You go dancing. Then what?.
Then we go home, we get|into bed and watch television.
But you’re not a threat to her, huh?.|Is that the attraction?.
- I'm not su-|I don't know what you mean.|- You know what I mean, George.
You're not offering her|anything more than friendship?.
Of course I'm not offering her|anything more than friendship.
I made up my mind.
I'll take you|wherever you want to go.
George, I'm gonna|have this baby.
- You are?.|- Yeah.
That's great.
You're gonna be|a wonderful mother.
Lucky baby.
And, Nina, you are gonna make Vince|McBride the happiest man alive.
This is so great.
I get to be in charge|of all musical education.
Tell Vince I get|to pick all the songs.
This is great.|This is so great.
- Good decision.|- George, can we just celebrate?.
- George, would you consider|raising this baby with me?.|- Of course.
I'll be Uncle George.|You're never gonna get rid of me.
Actually, I was thinking|we should keep living|together, like a family.
What about Vince?.
Well, he's the father.|There's no question about that.
He'll always be|in my baby’s life.
But he's not home to me.
You are.
You can't do that to Vince.
George, my father|married somebody wrong...
because he thought|it was good for me.
I can't do that to my kid.
Me and Vince and the baby-
- it's a gad equation.|-Jesus Christ, Nina.|Vince is the father.
You should be with|the father of your child.
Don’t you see how|exciting this could be?
You love children.|You could raise a child.
I don't want to marry Vince.|I don't have to marry Vince.
I don't wanna marry you.
George, I'm not|proposing marriage.
We can make this up|for ourselves.
None of the old rules apply.
It's getting late.
We should go.
Won’t you even|think about it?
I'm very-
You know.
[Phone Ringing]
[ Continues Ringing]
- Hello.|-[ Constance ] Nina, darling.
We're right around. the corner.|We've been to brunch at Norman|Mailer's in Brooklyn Heights.
- I thought we'd|swing by and say hi.|- [ Sally ] I have to go bad!
- We'll be right over.|- We're almost there. Don't worry.
Fuck, it's Constance.
[Buzzer Buzzing]
That can't be them already.
- Hey.|- Unbelievable.
- Oh, Vince,|you should have called.|- What good would that have done?.
Sidney and Constance|are coming over.
Terrific. I've got plenty|of food for everybody.|Is George still here too?
- Yes, he's here.|- Oh, good. So the whole|gang's together again.
- It will be just like|old times. You look thin.|- I'm fine.
- We need to talk.|- We're talking.
Some more bread.|We got the salami, we got|the prosciutto that you love,
the cheese, we've got|some herring and some|deliciously fresh mozzarella.
Vince, how many people|were you expecting?.
I thought maybe some more people|moved into the spare room.
I don't know what|goes on here, George.|She doesn't even talk to me.
You got any more plates?.|Why are Constance|and Sydney coming?.
- [Buzzer Buzzing]|- I'll get it.
- George!|- Hey, it's the Sea Witch.
Excuse me, is there|a partly going on upstairs?
- No, we're going|to see Nina. You know Nina.|- George, is there a party?.
- Tell me.|Is there a party up there?.|- No, there's no party.
- You tell these guests there's|no hot water after 8:00.|- [ Both ] Thank you.
- Terrific. Who needs a doorman|when you have Mrs. Sarni?.|-Just hurry up and get inside.
- You know, I really envy you|your living here, George.|- Really?.
Sure, what do you need|with a dining room, butlers,|pantries, dinner parties?.
It's all a gig headache.
Bill Styron lived in a place|just like this when he|thought up Sophie's Choice.
Sydney, what the hell|are you talking about?.
- Hi. Can I go?.|- You've been avoiding me.
- No, no.|- Hi, sweetie. How are you?.
How do you get|through a whole summer|without air conditioning?.
- Hey, Vinnie.|- Hey, Sydney. Come eat, huh?.
Oh, this looks good.|So, who are you defending now?.
A couple of kids|who got framed on a rape|and battery charge in the Bronx.
Let me tell you something.|You defend somebody really gig,
it doesn't matter|whether you win or lose,
I'll get you two million|dollars on the gook deal.
- And by the way,|you don't even have to write it.|- I'm not in show business.
Most people in your|business don't seem adverse|to a little publicity.
- You should think about Court TV..|- He doesn't wanna|think about Court TV..
This food is wonderful.|Did you get this food, George?.|I could eat like this every day.
Give me that herring or you’ll|be hearing about it all night.
- What will you|be hearing all night?|- Sally, go wash your hands.
Nina, where have you been?.
You haven't been calling|Constance either? How do you|survive without her advice?
Excuse me, Vincent.|She talks to me every day.|We're very close.
I swear, I'm hotter|than a goat in China.|I'm not feeling right.
- Can we get some air in here?.|- All right.
- What are you hiding from us?.|- Did you finally break up|with him?. I'm so proud of you.
Nobody’s broken up with me.|Why don’t you mind your own business?.
Sweetie, you think it's possible|to get food poisoning this fast?.
- Do you have any|air conditioning?.|- I'll get the fan.
- You should. n't be|lifting stuff like that.|- Why not?.
I'm fine.|Nothing is wrong with me.
- George,|what the fuck is going on?.|- Don't you dare speak that way.
- Betty, I think|it's time we got home.|- Betty was your other wife.
- I'm Constance, remember?.|- Oh, Christ.
- Are you sleeping with her?.|- Vince, I'm gay.|- You are?.
And it's a valid|and wonderful choice.
Sydney, shut up.|George, what is going on here?.
Are you pregnant?.
Oh, my God, you're pregnant.
- [Mrs. Sarni]|George, what's going on?|- Who's the father?.
I knew it, you son of a bitch.|I knew you couldn't keep|your hands off her.
Vince, Vince, calm down.|It's your baby.
I want New York Hospital,|emergency room.
- It's mine?.|- And mine.
It's mine?.|It's mine?.
A doctor.|I want a real gig doctor.
George, is everything|all right up there?.
Will you get that?.|I can't hear a goddamn thing.
Can I get you something?.
I need to speak to someone|in the gastrointestinal department.
[Mrs. Sarni]|What the hell is going on?
Everything’s fine,|Mrs. Sarni.
I thought someone died|and hit the floor Jesus.
- Oh, God. Oh, God.|- Give me the phone. Lie down.
You never should|have ate that herring.
[ All Chattering, Indistinct ]
You're well out of this.|It sounds truly crazy.
I haven't seen her recently|because she's been spending|all her time at Vince's place.
Which is right.|That's definitely right,
but what does that say|about our friendship?
Maybe I didn't mean|that much to her.
You sound like you're|talking about your ex-lover.
Why does everything have|to be about sex with you?.
- You can get close to a woman|without sleeping with her.|- Really?. That's news to me.
I'm sure Vince isn't letting her|come anywhere near me.
I should. have been more open.
I mean, that could have|really been exciting.
Yeah, sure, it could|have been exciting.
Bottom line is|she wanted to fuck you.
- That's insane.|- Look, we're both cute.
And I know women. They tell you|that they wanna be your friend,
gut they really wanna-|[ Mouths Words ]
Okay. Anyway, the point is...
I'm gonna probably have to move|out because she'll be wanting|to get rid of the apartment...
- so I was hoping I could crash at|your place for a couple weeks.|- Yes.
- Hey, honey.|- Hey.
You've not met my new fiancee. Suni,|George- This is my brother, George.
George, this is|Suni from surgery.
- [Man ]All right, real slo-mo.|- [Boly] Where’d it go?
There it goes.
Okay. Ready?. Stand up.|You're gonna hit a knee, right?.
- Yep.|- Okay.
Attaboy, block with your body.
And. then take a step-|There you go.
- Okay.|- Ready?
Wait. Stop right there. Okay.
Face me like you’re|gonna do the pitch.
Slo-mo. Nice.|Come right over the top.
Right over the top.|You did it great last week.
Okay. Try it again.
At first the iodine does not affect|the vitamin C solution.
But look what happens|if I add some more.
This process|is called titration.
Is there nothing|that little girl can't do?.
Watch TV.|She's lousy at that.
- Doug.|- Hi, Sydney. How you doing?
- George, my Uncle Jonathan|says he knows you.|- He does?.
Well, let's go, Nathan. Hey,|great jog, Mary. You did excellent.
- Do you recognize me in|my ear, nose and throat gear?.|- [Nina ] George.
You free next weekend?.|I know about this great club.
- I got a little out of control.|- I see a friend of mine.
- It was great to see you.|- This place is a converted|meat market. It's incredible.
- What are you doing here?.|- Oh, I promised Sally I'd come.
- It's so good to see you.|- You too.
- How you doing, Vince?.|- George.
We almost didn't make it.|The first trimester's|got us a little queasy.
- Yeah. Vince has become|an expert on pregnancy.|- I'm loving it.
- George, we miss you.|You should come visit us.|- Vince.
We are not an official "us. "|There's still you and there's still me.
- Okay.|- He's like glue.
Madame Reynolds was|asking for you last week.
- I would love to go dancing.|- As long as you don't exhaust yourself.
- George, what time is|the trophy presentation?|- Uh, 20 minutes.
The trophy presentation?.|George, what ever happened to...
"it's not about winning,|it's about how you play the game"?.
I don't think there should be|any trophies. It's the parents|who want the trophies.
It's ruining this country.|The obsession with being|number one at any cost.
- It starts right here.|- I totally hear you.
I try to teach these kids|a sense of community.
Believe me, you can't|do that. These parents|are natural born killers.
Oh, Vince,|that is such bullshit.
I don't know anyone who is|more competitive than you.
Did I say there's anything wrong|with striving for excellence?.
- Did. I say that?|-Jesus Christ.
At least somebody. here appreciates|what I'm trying to say.
- What’s your name?|- I'm Melissa Marx.|George's co-teacher.
I'm gonna lose it.|Just get me out of here.
[ Shouting ]
- You're right.|- Oh, I didn't ask him|to come, you know.
You're absolutely right.|That's not gonna work.
You know, by the way,|we're both pregnant, you know?.
First we get sick together.
Then we throw up together.|Then we get our fucking|sonograms together!
Nina, it's a gad equation-|you, Vince and a baby,|gad for all of you.
- No shit, Sherlock.|- You made me an offer|and I never refused.
I spent all yesterday|afternoon watching this little|kid play catch with his father.
I always thought|that I could teach other|people's children, gut...
someone else,|a real guy like Vince|gets to take them home.
Then I thought,|"I don't always have|to be the one who's...
"watching them leave.
"I don't always|have to be the one...
who waits|for twilight to pass. "
For the first time,|I thought I could be...
the guy who|says good night.
What are you saying to me?.
I'm saying yeah.
Sorry to break this up,|gut it's time to go home.
I'm not gonna|go home with you, Vince.
I'm gonna go back to Brooklyn.
You can't go back|to Brooklyn tonight.
We got a doctor's|appointment in the morning.
No, we don't have|a doctor’s appointment.
I have a doctor's appointment.
Okay. You have an appointment.|You're getting caught up|in nonsense, Nina.
Okay. Vince,|this isn't working.
- Can we talk about this later?.|- No. No, we need to talk about it now.
- In front of him?.|- Yeah. Vince, I've tried|to talk to you in private.
You don't listen to me.
George, this is between|me and Nina, okay?.
You've done enough to fuck us up.|It's time for you to get|the hell out of our lives.
No, Vince.|This is my school. You don't|get to tell me what to do.
Nothing has been|the same between me and|Nina since you showed up.
Does that make you happy?.|Is this what you do for kicks?.
- Vince, come on,|just listen to me for once-|- No, listen to me.
You don't see this guy|for who he is. He's|a trouble-making little shit.
I wanna raise|my child with George.
Oh. Oh.
You know what?.
I wanna raise it|with the man in the moon.
For once, why don’t you just goddamn|listen to what she has to say?.
- Don’t you tell me|how to treat a woman.|- Vince, just calm down for once.
No, I will not calm down!
You have some nerve,|you homo goys.
You screw up women's personal|lives gut you can't take any|physical responsibility for it.
Listen to me. No.
When this kid comes to you|and asks you who its father is,
you tell it that its father|never wanted to lay eyes|on its mother ever again.
Head up, young person.
Would you like|to hear the heartbeat?.
- Can I?.|- Yeah, sure.
[ Heartbeat ]
That's amazing.
George Hanson.
Steve Casillo?.
You're not someone|I'd expect to see in here.
[ George Muttering, Chuckling]
This is my friend. Nina Borowski.
- Yeah, I can see that.|- Hi.
No, she's my friend.,|friend. It's-
She's expecting.
- Well, I can give you|a discount on this one.|- Oh, we're just browsing.
Yeah, we're-
Feel free to look around.
- [Woman On TV., Indistinct]|- [Nina ] Lemonade?
- The Hampton benefit|season was in full swing...|- Oh, my God.
at super-agent Sydney Miller's|house this weekend.
Guests included Anne Rice,|King Hussein and General Colin Powell.
- Hot fun in the summertime.|- How come we weren't invited?.
Thank God, we weren't invited.
George, who was that man|in the crib store today?.
Oh, just someone I had|a fling with before I met Joley.
You know, if you ever|wanted to invite him here,
that would be fine.
I could sleep in your room.
What if said,|"That's a great idea,|he'll be right over"?.
I'd say, "Great. "
This isn't a marriage.
I don't wanna make you|give up your life.
You're not.
So are you gonna call him?.
Actually, I'm leaving|with him for Paris tonight.
- You are?.|- [ Chuckling ] Oh, God.
I just hate secrets, George.
What secrets?.|I tell you everything.
Just promise me that|if anything in your life|changes, that you’ll tell me.
Nothing's gonna change.|I'm not going anywhere.|This isn't temporary.
- Don’t you miss men?.|- Yeah, sure. Sometimes.
Don't you?.
I guess.
But I don't miss them|when I'm with you.
Do you think most married|couples are as happy as we are?.
I hope so.
'Cause we're pretty happy.
I guess sex|is just no gig deal.
Not even with Lucy Jane?.
I just adore you,|Nina. I really do.
I adore you too.
[Phone Ringing]
[ Continues Ringing]
- Yeah.|- George, hi.
It's Joley.|How are you?.
Look, um,
I know that it's been|a long time, gut, uh,
well, I told you|that I'd call.
And, uh-|Oh, God.
- These things are so weird.|- I guess.
Who is it?.
Uh, my brother.
George, are you|still there?.
[ Sighs ]|Yeah. And Nina says hello.
I was so sure you’d be with|someone by now. That's, um,
that's really|why I haven't called.
Yeah. Nina's still here.
George, it's so good|to hear your voice.
Um, I'm surprised you'd even|talk to me. I behaved like an idiot.
Look, I've been asked|to address a critics' convention...
at your old college|the weekend after next.
And I've been thinking about|that time we drove up there.
That was our first Christmas|together, you remember?.
And so you want me|to come with you?.
That's very|considerate of you.
I wouldn't be surprised|if you never wanted|to lay eyes on me again.
it would really mean a lot to me|just to, uh, be with you.
I made a reservation at that|sweet little inn we stayed at.
[ Clears Throat ]
Yeah, well, I'll call you|if can make it.
I think about you|all the time.
And, um,|for what it's worth,
I really miss you.
Yep. Thank you.|I'll talk to you soon.
[ Beep]
Where does|he want you to go?.
Hmm?. Uh, my college.
For a reunion?.
Sort of.
Nina, that was, uh, Joley.
[ Clears Throat]|So are you gonna go?.
I don't know.
That usually means yes.|[ Chuckles ]
I hate that you|know me so well.
- Hi.|- Hey
You look great.
I love this.
- I'll call you at Constance's|tomorrow morning, kiddo.|- Promise?.
- I promise.|- What time?.
Early. I promise.
Ordinarily, I wouldn't go|to one of these conferences.|But they insisted that I come,
and, uh, I guess|it never hurts to stay on|the good side of reviewers.
Oh, my gook! Did I tell you|my gook is coming out|in paperback in England?.
It's very impressive|for an American Shaw scholar|to do so well in Europe.
You okay, honey?.
How did we get back so quickly|to the "honey" stage?.
Maybe we never|should've left it.
- [ George ] How's your student?|- [Joley] Back with his girlfriend..
He's, uh,|just a screwed up kid.
So you want to be|friends now?. Just so I know.
- That is exactly|your problem, George.|- What?.
Your lack of self-worth.
You have no id. ea|how important you are to me.
- Thank you.|- So I've been thinking|about you a lot.
You're living with a woman in a dump|in Brooklyn, and I'm lonely...
and-and missing you.
We can do getter than that.
- Nina!|- Hi.
You just missed Steven Spielberg|and Peter Jennings.
Oh, I get they sent|their best regards.
Sweetie, don't start|the weekend like this.|I have enough to deal with.
- What are you wearing?|- [ Groans ]
- Hello, honey. How are you?.|- Good.
- [ Kissing ]|- Where's George?.
George is with his old boyfriend,|which is where he should be.
Constance, he's not|with his old boyfriend.
You told me he went away|with Dr. Joley.
- It doesn't mean he's with him.|- Sally, sit down and buckle up.
Sweetie, I want you|to relax this weekend.
Take walks.|Eat good food.
Let Sidney and me|take care of you.
- And. me.|- And Sally.
- Yes, honey.|- We're going to have|a nice, relaxing dinner.
Just some old friends.|And Stephen Saint is coming.
And you'll never believe it.|He's just dying to see you.
You made quite an impression|on him at my party.
- Hello.|- Dr. Robert Joley.
Ah, yes, Dr. Joley.|We have you down for three|nights and a king-sized bed.
- Twin beds.|- I don't know that|I have a room with twins.
- We'll take the king.|- Excuse me. I have|a room with twin beds.
- I'd be happy to exchange with you.|- Are you sure, Mrs. Skinner?.
- Surely.|- Thank you, Mrs. Skinner.
No sense in you two goys|being on top of each other.
- Right at the head of the stairs.|- Thank you.
Um, I thought we were supposed.|to get the discount rate.
Uh, that is the discount rate, Doctor.|Right through the dining room.
Dr. Joley, I presume.
Well, Rodney Fraser.
You're one of the reasons|I agreed to come here.
Oh, thank you. I see you’ve|lost none of your charm.
- [ Chuckles ]|- O. h, by the way,
congratulations|on George Bernard Shaw.
- Thank you.|- That's, oh, such a-
such a treat to read an American|perspective on the subject.
Oh, this is Paul James.|Dr. Robert Joley.
- How do you do?.|- I don't think I've met your friend.
- George Hanson.|- George Hanson.|How do you do?. Paul James.
- You in the theater?.|- No. He's a graduate|of our host college.
Oh, really?|The return of the native.
Well, look forward.|to seeing you both...
around the campus,|hmm?. Bye.
- Bye-bye.|- See you.
I wonder if Mrs. Rodney|charges by the hour?.
Let me tell you something.|When my first wife left me,
she wanted|to take my clients.
I mean, I understand|the house, the cars.
But my clients,|my clients.
You know, uh,|since we last met,
I've done|some heavy therapy,
and, uh,|I've taken up yoga.
- And I quit advertising.|- Hmm.
I know this might|seem premature, gut, um,
I'm ready to be|the father of your child.
Good night.
[Rod. nely]And. our thanks|to Mrs. Gutierrez...
for an extremely interesting question|and a spirited response...
from the panel.
And now we move on to, um,
oh, another question|from Mrs. Gutierrez.
Oh, yes. "How do you feel|about great works of literature...
being transformed.|into musical comedy? "
Well, that sounds Like one for our|academic colleague. Professor.
Well, um, I should|begin by saying that...
I think that My Fair Lad. Iy|is a complete distortion|of Shaw’s Pygmalion,
as is West Sid. e Story|of Romeo and. Juliet.
But then, I hate|all musicals I, uh,
believe they’re, uh,|middle-brow, populist...
and., uh, frankly dangerous.
So it's a clean sweep|from Dr. Joley.
- [ Chuckles ]|- [Joley ]|I have seen performance art...
in cross-gender clubs|in Berlin...
that has far more|theatrical impact...
than anything I have|ever seen on Broadway.
Well, do you mean, um,|women dipped in chocolate?.|That sort of thing?.
- [ Chuckles ]|- [Joley] I'm talking about|serious artists here.
I have never recovered.|from Ulrika Schinkel's...
brilliant production|of Beethoven in Ketten,|that's Beethoven in Bondage,
set amongst|the ruins of the Reichstag.
And., uh, something that may be of|particular interest to you, Rodney,
is that the theaters in Germany|are filled. with young people.
Nina! We're all taking|a picnic on the beach.
Oh, honey, I'm waiting|for a phone call.
Oh, mommy, Nina's|waiting for a phone call.
Darling,|go get your father. Go!
- I'll come down later. I promise.|-Jesus Christ!
Every time I look at you,|you're moping.
- You're a guest here.|You could try to make an effort.|- I have made an effort.
Stephen loved me.
I hope you realize|he's currently in bed|with his old boyfriend.
- Who, Stephen?.|- The man whose call|you're waiting for.
- [ Sighs ]|- You know,
I enjoy gay people.
I just have a slight problem|with my pregnant sister|being in love with one of them.
- I am not in love with him.|- Honestly,
even when I was|desperate to marry Sidney,|I never carried on like you do.
And Sidney is straight.|But you have really done it.
This is an even crazier choice|than Vincent.
You're not even fucking him.
Can I ask you something?.
When was the last time|you and Sidney had sex?.
That is not the point.
Exactly. Doesn't it all|turn into friendship anyway?.
Yes. But normal people|start out someplace...
you and the nursery school|teacher are never gonna get.
You should take a look|at yourself. You're supposed|to be a psychiatrist.
- I am a social worker, Constance!|- [ Scoffs ]
Oh! Will you just let me|live my goddamn life?.
Read. my lips.
George is G-A-Y.|Gay.
That means he never|sleeps with women.
- He has slept with a woman.|- What?.
Lucy Jane Parnell.
Oh, please. Don't tell me.|In high school?.
They all try women|once in high school.
But you’re nutty enough|to believe that based.|on that experience,
you can bring him|to his senses.
Nina, a gay nursery school teacher|is a one-way ticket to nowhere.
[Paul] I would. love to go|to a place like this.
Read, sleep,|have great talks. Sex.
Well, uh, we didn't, uh,|actually have much of that.|We did talk about it a lot.
- Well, did you act at all?.|- Me?. No, not really. You an actor?.
Well, trying to be.
That's how I met Rodney.|I sat in on his world theater class.
What's his take|on world theater?.
Well, Rodney's very picky. He likes|Damn Yankees and Shakespeare.
But just to read.|He's never seen a production|up to his standards.
Don't you get flak from your|actor friends being with a critic?.
Well, I've never been|"with him" with him.
It's just that he came up|to me one day after class,
and he's been sort of like my|mentor and my family ever since.
Oh, I thought maybe|you lived together. I'm sorry.
Oh, we do live together.
He offered me a spare room|so I could save my money|for acting lessons.
[ George ] Well, I've always|had. terrible judgment.
My entire freshman year,|I had. a crush on a guy|named. Trotter Bull III.
[ Paul Chuckles ]
He looked just Like|one of those rowers.
- [ Paul ] Looks like|pretty good. judgment to me.|- Except he had. a girlfriend..
I actually got up the courage|to talk to him one night...
about Walt Whitman.
He probably became an|investment banker, had four kids,
all named Trotter and, uh,|never talked about poetry again.
I'll talk to you|about poetry.
Sure. Anytime.
- How about a swim?.|- Whoo!
Wait for me!|Ohh!
[Phone Rings ]
I got it. It's for me.|Sorry. Hello?.
No.|She's at the beach.
Uh-huh. It's Martha|Stewart for Mrs. Miller.
- Yes?.|- Is it the Martha Stewart?.
Yes. Oh, will you|hold on, please?.
Miss Stewart, I'm having|a gig problem with my azaleas.
- [ Sighs ]|- Uh-huh.
[Paul]|Do I see you again?
[George ]|I hope so.
When do I call you?.
Oh, fuck. My roommate.|I was supposed to call her|this morning. Shit!
- Your roommate?.|- Yeah. We live together.
We don't live together,|we just live together. Shit!
[ Carmelita ] She's in|her bedroom. I'll call her.
- She's in bed., apparently.|- [Nina ] Hi, George.
Hey, kiddo. Why are you in bed?.|Are you sick?.
I'm pregnant, George.|Or have you been so busy|with Dr. Joley that you forgot?.
Nothing's happened with Dr. Joley.|I've hardly seen him.
- So then let's go home.|- What do you mean?.
There's a bus at 7:00.
- Tonight?.|- Sure. Why not?.
I don't want you|traveling alone so late.
How about I borrow|my brother’s car and pick|you up tomorrow afternoon?.
George, please. Please.|This is- I'm so miserable.
Please. You could-|You could be on a train too,
and we could both be|in our beds by midnight.
- [ Sighs ] Nina-|- Please. You have to rescue me.
I have got to get|away from here,
and there's nothing|for you to stay there for.
Anybody who gets from|the Hamptons is okay with me.
I hate it here.
It's so pretentious.
If I wasn't happily married and|you weren't my wife’s stepsister,
- I'd have an affair|with you in a second.|- [ Chuckles ]
I think you’re terrific.
- Want some money?.|- No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- How about some Chuckles?. Hmm?.|- No.
I got the galleys for the new|Michael Crichton in the car.
Oh, no, really.|Thanks, Sidney. Bye.
Okay. Oh, gosh.|Photographs.
[ Chuckles ]
- I like it.|- It looks good.
Hi, man.
- Hi, Melissa.|- Hi.
[ Vince ]|Oh, my God.
- So how are you, huh?.|- Shit!
- Hey, let me help you.|- No. I'm fine, Vince.|Got it. I'm fine.
- Okay?.|- Thank you.
Vince, honey.
Melissa, hang on a minute.|I'm just going to say good-bye.
- Vince, I'm really tired.|I don't feel like-|- No. Just one minute.
- Hey, can I put you in a taxi?.|- No, Vince. I'm fine. Really.
- Nina, come on-|- Vince, please. I'm fine. Really.
- Give my love to George.|Can't wait till school starts.|- Oh, sure. I certainly will.
Hey! Ohh!
Ohh! Uh, excuse me.|Excuse me.
Oh, you're gonna be|so glad you met me.
My purse was just stolen|and I'm pregnant|and I have no way home.
- Are you hurt?.|- No, I'm fine.
- You sure?.|- Yeah. It's just my purse was stolen.
- Okay. Well, let's go.|- All right.
- I got it.|- Oh, thank God.
- So we'll go report all this.|- Thank you.
And then I'm getting off duty,|so I'll give you a lift home.
- Great. Thanks.|- All right?.
I mean, I'm surprised|he didn't arrest me.
I get mugged and the goddamn|desk sergeant blames me.
He's the only one like that.|The rest of us are very sensitive.
"Lady, you asked for it. "|I thought people like that...
were banned from|the police force, you know?.
It's none|of his god damn business...
where the fuck|my husband is.
- You don't seem to care.|- Me?. I used to give women|lots of opinions.
But now I go with the flow.
- Are you gay?.|- I'm sorry?.
I have this new theory|that any man...
who doesn't hit you over the head|with his opinions must be gay.
[ Clears Throat ] Well,|that makes as much sense as Freud.
Oh, well, makes a hell|of a lot more sense than Freud.
Freud doesn't know dick|about women.
[ Chuckles ]|I can't believe I just said that.
- Very nice of you|to drive me home.|- Oh, not a problem.
If were married,|I'd want someone|to drive my wife home.
- Will your husband be there?.|- I don't have a husband.
- Mm. The father?.|- Oh, no, no.
He will definitely|not be there.
I hardly speak to him.
Well, you don't find|anyone new till you're|grave enough to give up the old.
I don't really|want to find anyone new.
Well, that's good.
Happy with the status quo.
- Yeah.|- Me too.
But you’re so nice.
- You should be married.|- [ Chuckles ]
You think all nice people|are married?.
What kind of counselor|are you?.
All right, you can stop|right over there.|Oh, thank you so much.
You're really kind.
[ Grunts ]
[ Gasps ]|George!
Oh, my gosh!|You're back already?. Hi!
- [George ] Did you get a ride home?|- No. My purse got stolen...
- at the bus station.|- What?
And Vince and Melissa|were on the bus,
and Sidney told me that|he would have an affair with me.
It's just been|the weekend from hell.
[ George ] Come on.|I'll make you some tea.
[ Chattering ]
Hey, sweetie. George, terrific news|about you and. Dr. Joley.
- Sidney and I adore him.|He's so smart. Good for you.|- Bye, George.
Hey, Nina, you find out|who the father is yet?.
I call the shots, Kiesha.
- Yeah!|- Yeah, we know.
[Woman ]|So what's for supper, Nina?
Pot roast.|It's George's favorite.
- Is he back yet?.|- I don't know.
- [Door Opening]|- [Rodney] Paul?
Oh, jeez. He's supposed|to be at the theater.
Paul?.|I fled at half-time.
A lot of pumped-up men|taking their clothes off.
It's all getting|dreadfully goring.
I'm gonna go see King Lear|tomorrow night, God. help me.
I fully expect him to step on stage,|say he's old, he's hot...
and strip down|to his underwear.
Oh, would you like|a glass of vino?.
And tell whoever it is|you've got in there he's left|his knapsack on the sofa.
Ah, it's the graduate.|Do, please, come sit down.
Uh, Paul and I are currently|meandering through...
some of the getter|Australian chardonnays.
- Can I tempt you?.|- Oh, no, thank you.
Oh. Paul?.
So how's our distinguished|Shavian scholar, Dr. Joley?.
Well, I haven’t seen him|since the critics’ convention.
Actually,|George lives with a woman.
- How Bloomsbury.|- [ Chuckles ]
- Uh, Nina's my best friend.|- Well, as you probably know,
Paul and I visit|the theater quite often.
Perhaps you and your best friend|would care to join us.
That's very kind of you.
But, uh, um, I'm not sure|she likes the theater.
Oh. She's absolutely right.|There's nothing to see.
[ Chuckles ]
Well, perhaps we could. go and. have|a meal together sometime.
We'd like to see more of you|in any event. All right?.
Well, I-I hope so.|You know, I'm sorry. I really, uh-
Oh? Really?
Don't forget your little gag.|[ Chuckles ]
- Well, it's nice seeing you.|- Yes, indeed. Good night.
I'll be right back.
I'll call you tomorrow.
[Vince] Thank you|for returning my call.
Nina, you were probably right.|You and I as a couple...
were a pretty miserable match.
That I still|love you, that's-
that's my problem.
I can-|I can deal with that.
whatever way that you’re|planning on doing this,
for once in my life,|I'm-I'm not gonna tell you how.
I would. just like to think|that I could. somehow|be a part of the picture.
you're the daddy.
All right.|I'll trust you.
- Oh, hi.|- [Nina ] Hi.
- How are you?. Yes.|- Louis.
- This is Vince.|- Hi. Louis Crowley.
- Hey. Vince McBride.|- Hi. This is my nephew Joe|and my niece Sophie.
Vince is the father|of my, uh-
Baby. I'm the father|of the baby.
Ah, I see.|And, uh, how's, uh-
- George. My roommate.|- He's fine. He's home.
Oh! Hey, great.|[ Chuckles ]
- Go with the flow.|- [Nina ] That's right.
[ British Man On TV]|The workings of her mind|appealed to him.
- [ Giggling ]|- She leaves her warm bed|in the cold dawn...
to rush there|full of zeal and loyalty.
- [TV., Indistinct]|- [ Laughing, Choking ]
[TV., Indistinct]
[Laughter On TV.]
[Woman On TV.] Coming up,|Kurt will have sports. Stay with us.
[Man On TV.]|Yes, we'd like to change|the address of our account.
- Hi.|- Hey.
- Sorry.|- Don't bother apologizing.
Sorry I'm late.
Yeah. God, I'm sorry.|Did, uh, Nina tell you I was|visiting some college friends...
- drank too much and-|- Well, why didn’t you bring them?.
- What?.|- Mm. I mean, what a shame|to break up such a great party.
I mean, actually, I'd. like to meet|your friends some day.
- So how late did you stay up?.|- Late.
So late there wasn't|a cab left in Manhattan, huh?.
Well, you know, we were|all too wrecked to go home.
Ooh. Yeah. My gig brother,|the party animal.
- Coffee?.|- Oh, yeah, please.
Do you want to hear|the specials?.
No. I'll just have the orange juice|and eggs Florentine.
So, Caroline,|is the wedding still on?.
- I haven't heard otherwise.|But I'm waiting.|- [ Chuckles ]
- Well, we're really|looking forward to it.|- Yeah. If you can make it.
He's been really busy this fall|with, uh, faculty meetings.
Yeah. I'm trying|to get things in order|before the baby comes.
- Working on a new curriculum.|-Jesus! I never thought|I'd. hear my big brother...
talk about babies coming,|and before me.
That's what really pisses me off.|You got there before me.
I think what you guys|are doing is fantastic. Really.
[Frank ] Here's my question though.|What about the father?
This guy must be the most interesting|guy in the world or the most tolerant.
Actually, he's dating|George's colleague Melissa.
So that takes|a shipload of tolerance.
No, honey, they’re not|d. ating anymore. They broke up.
Wait a minute.|Who's this Melissa?
- Is she cute?.|- Frank-
Hey, I'm just trying to keep|my options open, all right?.
Frank, you're horrible.
George, aren't we all just horrible?.|Aren't men just such jerks?.
I think that Nina and. George|have a great relationship.
Yeah, when we see each other,|we have a great relationship.
[ Sighs ]
Hey, George, uh,|when they start complaining|about not seeing you enough,
you have to guy them a diamond|or take them to the theater.
Maybe we could all go|see a friend of mine who's|in a play next weekend.
Well, I'm on call next weekend,|and Frank certainly isn't|going without me.
- [Frank ] O. h, come on.|- [ Caroline ] No. No.
So does that mean I get a date alone|with you this weekend?.
Or will I get another|call Saturday afternoon?.
[Woman ] Saints d. o not move.|They grant, for prayer’s sake.
Then move not,|while my prayer's effect I take.
[Paul] From my lips, by thine,|my sin is purged..
Then have my lips the sin|that they have took.
Sin from my lips?.|O trespass sweetly urged.
Give me my sin again.
You kiss by the gook.
- [ Chattering ]|- Uh, here we are.|Sorry about that.
- Thank you so much.|- Thanks.
- Well, cheers. Cheers.|- Cheers.
It's so nice to meet you. George|talks about you all the time. Oh.
- Ohh!|- You were fantastic.
Oh, and, uh,|this is Nina.
Hi. You were...|great.
Great to meet you. George|talks about you all the time.
Hey, George! George!|Hey, how are you?
- I want you to meet somebody.|- I don't know if you|remember me from college.
- Yeah.|- We talked all night|about Walt Whitman.
- Trotter Bull.|- Paul. Paul! Paul!|[ Chuckles ]
- This is Trotter Bull.|- Oh, my God!
I've heard|so much about you.
George talks about you|all the time.
Is that right?. Well,|you were wonderful in the play.
[Dr. Gold. stein ]|You were wonderful in the play.|And. You looked. so hot.
George, it was so nice|seeing you again.|Let me give you my card.
If you ever need|a stockbroker sometime, okay?.
Thanks a lot.|It's great seeing you, Trotter.
We got that,|you know, 10:00 thing.
Nice to meet you.
I wish he'd been our Mercutio|instead of who we got.
- Rodney, please.|- And he was right.|You were awfully good.
But, you know, people only do|modern-dress Shakespeare...
because they have|absolutely no instinct...
for any other period|or language than their own.
Clearly, the no-talent who d. irected.|this hoped. to transform...
the world's greatest love story|into a Calvin Klein commercial.
- The man should be shot!|- Mr. Fraser?.
- Yes?.|- I'm the director.
[ Grunts ]
- Hey, come on. Let me help you.|- Thank you.
- Good night.|It was great meeting you.|- Yes, good night.
George and I were wondering|what you and Rodney|were doing for Thanksgiving.
- Oh, no, I'm sorry. We-|- No, no, no, no. We'd love to come.
- How kind of you. Thank you.|- Ohh.
- Ow!|- Oh, I'm sorry. Wonderful.
- Okay, so 1:00.|- We'll be there.
- Bye.|- Good night.
You're an extraordinary person.
They seem like|a lovely couple.
Hey, you! I don't care|what you say. I love Les Mis
And. I think|Andrew Lloyd Webber's a genius.
- Hello. Hi.|- Oh, lovely to see you again.
Happy Thanksgiving.|We're just through here.
- Hey. Hi.|- George. Happy Thanksgiving.
- Happy Thanksgiving.|- Do you need any help?.
- No. Everything|is absolutely fine.|- Oh, what a relief.
- 'Cause contrary to stereotype,|I'm an awful cook.|- [ Chuckles ]
No. Well, please, please,|just make yourselves comfortable.
Or, uh, George, you could|take them for a walk, you know,
while I get ready.
Well, um, why don't you two|children go and play somewhere?
And, uh, I'll stay here|to keep Nina company.
- Eh?.|- Oh.
You should tell her,|George.
You don't want to hurt Rodney,|I don't want to hurt Nina.
I don't want to exclude|Rodney. That's different.
[ Sighs ]
Are you trying|to tell me something?.|Because we could stop.
No. I-|Gee, this isn't easy.
I promised. I promised her|I'd help her with the baby.
That's great.|Help her.
- You be the uncle.|You be the godfather.|- Ah, you don't-
No, you don't understand.|I'm more excited about this baby|than anything ever in my life.
- More than me?.|- Oh, jeez, Paul,|don't make it that way.
I'm not making it|that way, you are.
I love you very much.
I think we’re both behaving|rather well under the circumstances.
After all,|it's not always easy...
being alone|in the bedroom next door.
- Next door to George and Paul?.|- You knew that?
Of course.
Of course I knew that.|I think Paul's great.|I think he's just great.
Well, we're all great.
You must think|I'm pretty peculiar.
[ Chuckles ] I have|opinions about Shakespeare.
About other people's lifestyles, I have|absolutely no opinions whatsoever.
And I don't think one|should be too hard on oneself...
if the object|of one's affection...
returns the favor|with rather...
less enthusiasm|than one might've hoped.
But a small observation,|if may,
from someone old enough|to be your grandfather.
Oh, you're|not that much older.
Have you noticed that|you're the only woman...
coming to your|Thanksgiving dinner?.
Yes. All my female friends, they're|either busy or they have family-
Don't get defensive.|Have you also noticed...
that you’re the only|practicing heterosexual...
coming to your|Thanksgiving dinner?.
Well, I, uh, I haven't|practiced in a while.
I'm serious.
What happens when all the men at your|Thanksgiving dinner find other men?.
Who's at your table then?
Don't fix your life...
so that you’re left alone...
right when you come|to the middle of it.
for the erring thought,
not into evil wrought.
Lord, for the wicked will,
betrayed and gaffed still.
For the heart...
from itself kept,
our Thanksgiving accept.
- [ Chuckles ]|- To Nina and George,|our wonderful new friends.
To Nina and George.
- To friendship.|- Yes.
[ All ]|To friendship.
[ Clears Throat ]
I think you and I|ought to be getting going.
Well, actually, I think I'm gonna|hang out here for a while.
[Rodney]|Oh, well. [Chuckles]
[Paul]|Is that okay, Rod.?
When would you be getting-
Yeah. Uh, right.
Well, thank you...
- for including me in your holiday.|- Thank you for coming.
- Happy Thanksgiving, hmm?.|- Okay.
- George.|- Oh, good night.
Uh, could I walk you|out to the-
- No. I'm fine.|- You sure?.
Let me-
- Thanks.|- Bye.
- Good night.|- Good night.
Oh, well, let's-|let's get cracking on these dishes.
That's all right.|I've got it. I've got it, thank you.
- [ George ] You sure?|- Yes, definitely. Good night.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Absolutely|the best holiday.
[ Chuckles ]
I love you.
[Water Running]
It was a wonderful|dinner, Nina.
Thank you.
[Dishes Clanking]
Nina, it's 3:00|in the morning.
Oh, I'm sorry.|Did I wake you?.
Paul wanted|some ice cream.
Oh. That is so sweet.|You guys have so much in common.
[ Clears Throat ]
Paul thinks, uh,
-you don't like him.|- I don't know him.
Y-You seem to like Rodney.
Well, Rodney is a decent|and intelligent man...
who is very hurt|and insecure.
We're all very hurt and insecure.|Who do you know that isn't?.
Paul.|Paul seems to be...
a totally happy guy.
- You don't like him.|- Oh, what the hell difference|does it make...
if like Paul|or not, George?.
You like Paul|and. that's what's important.
And that's great. I mean, that is|just great. I just finished my work.
Nina, I slept for months|in this apartment|with you and Vince right there.
- That is different!|- How is that different?.
Because you don't tell|a woman that you love her|and two days later,
- bring Romeo home|to sleep with you!|- You invited him!
Yes, and for dinner!|And I invited Rodney too.
- I thought they were a couple!|- Oh, come on, you didn't think that.
Well, you didn't|tell me otherwise.
Nina, look at me.
Nina- Nina, look at me!|I thought we were|going to make up new rules.
Yeah, well, they have|to work for both of us.
- So you can have a man|in your bed, gut I can't.|- Oh, God, no, no! You can't!
You cannot have me|and Paul and this baby.
Why?. Because you deserve|to have it all and I don't?.
No! It's not about|having it all.
It is about picking one person|and making it work.
And when you are fucking|a man in the next room,
it makes it pretty clear|the person you don't wanna|make it work with is me.
- Yeah, that's bullshit!|- Oh, fuck off, George!
[ Scoffs ]|You forgot Paul's ice cream!
["The Wedding March"]
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
- Caroline, let's face it.|My little brother is cute.|- [ Laughing ]
And if you can deal with the 20|women waiting outside with pistols,
- I think this union|will succeed brilliantly.|-[Laughing, Oohing ]
My friend Nina,|the wisest person I know,
said. to me yesterday,
"You have to pick one person|and make it work. "
I think you picked.|absolutely the right person.
[ Oohs and Aahs ]
I'd. like to propose a toast.
To the Drs. Frank|and. Caroline Colucci Hanson.
- [ All ] Hear, hear!|- [ Giggles ]
[Applause, Cheering ]
- Your husband. is ad. orable.|- I can't imagine my husband|still calling me his friend.
Life was a song
You came along
I've laid. awake
The whole night through
If but dared.
To think you cared.
This is what
I'd. say to you
You were meant for me
I was meant for you
Nature fashioned. Iyou
And. when she was done
You were all|the sweet things
Rolled up in one
You're like|a plaintive melody
That never lets me free
For I'm content
The angels|must have sent you
And. they meant you
Just for me
[ Cheering, Applause ]
[ Woman ]|All right!
[ Woman ]|Very nicely done. Very nicely done.
George, I gotta|get out of here.
- You okay?.|- [ Sogging ] Yeah, I'm okay.
Are you sure?.
Yeah. I just had|to get out of there.
I know. Weddings|can be a little much.
But it works.
What do you mean?.
[ Sighs ]
I was watching|Frank and Caroline today,
and I just kept thinking...
"This is real.
And George and I are not. "
[ Sniffles ]
We're just different.
But I don't think|that I am that different.
I want you to be with me.
I want you to marry me.
I want you to love me|the way that I love you.
I don't really wanna see|who you are at all.
I think you see me.
Well, then,|tell me the truth.
What do you want?.
I want Paul.
[ Sogs ]
And I want to be able to look at you|and not feel so hurt by you.
I'm so sorry.
The last person in the world|I'd want to hurt is you.
I know that.|I know.
You can't choose|who you love.
I think Paul was the best thing|that ever happened to us, you know?.
At least he got us|to tell the truth.
But I-I don't want|to lose you.
I can't let things|stay the same.
[ Gasps ]
- Take care, man.|- Congratulations, buddy. Way to go.
Hey. Sorry. I got here|as fast as I could.
No, it's okay.|George was with me|the whole time.
- Good.|- This is Molly.
- [Nina ] There she is.|- Oh, hello, Molly.
I'm your dad..
- Yeah.|- [ Coos ]
- Shh-sh-shh. Molly, Molly,|hush, hush, hush. It's okay.|- You got her?.
It's okay. It's okay.|I got her.
Look for the union label
When you are guying
A coat, dress or blouse|[ Chuckles ]
- Remember somewhere|- Which one of you is the father?.
- The union's sewing-|- Vince McBride is the father.
Can you come with me?|We have some paperwork for you.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure.|Hey, you be nice|to your mother, honey.
Here we go. Ooh, yeah.|There she is. Okay.
Wonder if Madame Reynolds|has ballroom dancing for babies.|[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles ]|Are you kidding?.
Come here, Molly.
Let's show mommy|your dancing legs.
You were meant
For me
And I was meant
For you
George, when were you|planning on moving out?.
I don't know.|[ Chuckles ]
I think you should go|before I get home.
Well, uh, are you-|are you sure?.
I can stay until|you and Molly get settled.
No. I don't want you there.|We'll be fine.
It's time for Molly and me|to get on with our lives.
I'll speak to Paul.
Thank you.
[Molly Coos]
You're a very lucky girl,|Molly McBride Borowski.
You have the world's|best mommy.
Bye, Nina.
Bye, George.
Head up, young person.
Hi. Hi, Molly.
I love you.
- [ Chattering]|- Hello, I'm George Hanson,
principal of the Prospect Park|Cooperative School.
We want to welcome you|to our annual music celebration.
- [Applause, Cheering]|- And now, on with the show!
[ Cheering, Applause|Continues ]
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what|your future holds
Try to keep your head|up to the sky
People they may|cause you tears
Go ahead|Release your fears
Stand up and be counted|Don't be ashamed to cry
You gotta be|You gotta be gad
- You gotta be bold.|You gotta be wiser|- Molly!
- You gotta be hard|- Hard
- You gotta be tough|You gotta be stronger|- Tough, stronger
- You gotta be cool|You gotta be calm|- Cool, calm
- You gotta stay together|All I know, all I know|- Together
- Love will save the day|- Save the day
Herald. what|your mother said.
Read. in' the books|your father read.
- Try to solve the puzzles|in your own sweet time|- Go, Molly! Go, Molly!
- Some may have|more cash than you|- [ Laughs ]
Others take a different view
My oh my, hey, hey
Whoo! Molly! Yay!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
You gotta be hard.|You gotta be tough
You gotta be stronger
I gotta go.|I have an audition.
- What time are you gonna be home?.|- Right after yoga.
Look, are you sure you don't mind?.|You had me over last Saturday.
- Oh, hey, Rodney,|you're family, man.|- Of course not. Yeah.
[Sally] Constance,|why can't I get a ring in my nose?
Sally, get straight inside.|This is a very gad neighborhood.
This is a fucking|great neighborhood.
- My name is not Constance. It's Mother.|- What's with the "fucking"?.
Nina, don't forget|dinner Thursday.
- Umberto Eco and|Sharon Stone are coming.|- Oh, goody.
I got a bidding war going|for Sharon's memoirs.|She's great. You'd love her.
Good-bye, Louis. Good to see|you again. Nina, two seconds.
Louis...|[ Indistinct ]
- There's someone who's coming|I want you to meet, so-|- Why?. I am with Louis.
Sweetie, you've made your point.|It's time to move on. Get your hair cut.
- Sidney?. Sidney! Let's go.|- What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Molly, you were great. Perfect.|-[ Constance ] Sid. nely!
Coming. Coming.|You were just ter- I love that hat.
Can I give you a ride?.
No. I'm not going to use|taxpayer dollars to fund|my personal transportation.
- I'll take the subways, thank you.|- Oh, well.
Suit yourself, Vince.|I will see you at home.
- Bye, Molly. Great jog.|- Bye, Louis.
- Bye-bye.|- Bye, Louis.
Nina, I am the only man in your life|who ever made any sense.
- You know that, right?.|- I do know that.
Mm, okay.|Bye-bye, sweetheart.
- Bye, Daddy.|- I love you.
Great show.|Love your work.
Oh, hey, do you guys want to|come over for dinner Saturday night?.
- Rodney's coming.|- Oh, that sounds great. I'll ask Paul.
- Okay.|- Uncle George, I had more people|come see me than anyone.
- Yeah?.|- I had Mommy and Daddy, Louis,|Uncle Rodney, Uncle Sidney-
Honey, you are just|the luckiest little girl.
Yeah. And if you ever need|any advice, ask Auntie Constance.
- She knows everything.|- Oh, stop it.
[Man ]|Life was a song
You came along
- I laly awake|the whole night through|- Okay.
- You wanna go grab some coffee?.|- Yeah.
You guys always go for coffee.|All you do is talk.
Well, excuse me,|gut we like talking.
Yeah. Did- You know, Nina, do you|ever just wanna touch her nose?.
- It's just like a little tulip.|- Don’t you dare start with her.
It looks nothing|like a tulip. Come on.
- If should are|- Mommy, I can do George's jog.
- To think you care|- You can?.
- This is what|- Really?.
- I'd. saly|- Yep. "Welcome to the...
Prospect Park Cooperative School... "|[ Indistinct ]
You were meant
For me
And. I
Was meant
For you
Nature fashioned you
And when she was done
You were all|those good. things
Rolled. into one
You're like a plaintive
That never lets
Me be
I'm content
The angels|must have sent you
And. they meant you
Just for me
You're like a plaintive
That never lets
Me be
I'm content
The angels|must have sent you
And. they meant you
O Brother Where Art Thou
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