Get Paid for using YouTube!

Subtitles for SNL Best Of Eddie Murphy 1998.

English Subtitles for DivX Movies.

Select one of the letters to view a proper section of titles list:

# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

SNL Best Of Eddie Murphy 1998

Click here to download subtitles file for the movie "SNL Best Of Eddie Murphy 1998"

Get Paid for using YouTube!


("Little Ras cals" theme music plays)
(audience applauding)
Boy, it been a nong time since them days.
H i, I'm Buh-weet. U h-member me?
(applaus e)
And I hav e compiled for you and your nistening peasure,
some of my pavorite songs.
It's all here on this un pe ctacular offer...
Take a wisten.
(piano plays softly)
U nce... tice...
Don Pardo: Yes, the y're all here.
Wookin' pa nub in all the wong places...
Pardo: Once Buckwheat sings a song, it's eternally his.
H e dot deddy diba den on ne dide
H e dot Menny Dabid Ize.
Yes, Buckwheat, the man who sold more re cords
than Elvis or the Beatles... in Kenya.
And if you order now, you'll get Buckwheat's tribute to Alfalfa.
(operatic fanfare)
I'm the Barbah ob Da-bill
Bee-garo! Bee-ga-ro!
Order today! Send 49.95 for the full volume to...
(applaus e)
Take it from "Ow Dang." Your dang'll nub it.
Buy my we cord. O-tay!
(applaus e continues)
(theme music plays)
Don Pardo: It's Saturday N ight Liv e...
(cheering, applaus e)
Thank you.
Thank you.
(loud cheers)
Oh, thank you.
This is bizarre, 'caus e I grew up on this show.
It's bizarre to host it. I feel strange,
and I'm v ery nervous... I hav en't done this in a y ear and a half,
so bear with me. I said last y ear, when I left this show,
I swore that I would ne v er do "Saturday N ight Liv e" again,
'caus e I said the show was terrible. Really.
And I did "48 Hours" and "Trading Places,"
and I felt like I was an actor now.
I was like... "Saturday N ight Liv e"?! Ha!
Really, that was my vibe last y ear.
After I did "48 Hours" and "Trading Places,"
all thes e s cripts started coming from e v erywhere
and I picked up a s cript called "Best Defens e."
There's a movie that sucked real bad.
At first I wasn't going to do it
'caus e I read the s cript and felt like I was an actor.
But the mone y the y gav e me, y'all would hav e did "Best Defens e" too.
I read the s cript and the s cript was terrible. I was like...
"What?! How dare you giv e me a s cript like this!
Oh, that much mone y? Let's go."
So I read the s cript, I went out and did "Best Defens e"...
turned out to be the worst movie e v er done in history of anything.
All of a sudden I wasn't that hot no more.
So I called up the producer of "Saturday N ight Liv e" and I go,
"U m, you still got my dressing room?"
H e said, "Why don't you come back and host the Christmas show?"
So I said, "Bet." I signed the contracts to host the show.
While I was waiting for Christmas to come,
sitting in my hous e by mys elf, somebody brought a s cript
for a movie called "Be v erly H ills Cop."
(audience cheers)
I did "Be v erly H ills Cop." "Be v erly H ills Cop" is a hit.
All of a sudden I'm an actor again.
But it's too late to pull out, so I had to host the show.
But I'm back, and oddly enough, I'v e been having a good time.
The new people are fun, and it's bizarre to stand here
but it's good to be back this week. Before we get into the laugh stuff
I want you to know you're gonna laugh, hav e a good time...
we'll hav e a good time and you're gonna laugh...
not e v erything on the show is hysterical.
Lots of times the y tell you, "We're gonna hav e a great show,"
the y come out... and the y lie to you,
you sit there and you s ee some things that suck.
Tonight is the same... most of the show is good,
but there'll be two or three things
that you'll go, "That's not funny."
And I want you to be prepared for that, okay?
Before we get on to the funny stuff,
I want you to s ee something I take v ery s eriously.
I want you to watch something. Watch this.
You know, a lot of people talk about racial prejudice.
And some people hav e gone so far as to say
that there are actually two Americas, one black and one white.
But talk is cheap.
So I de cided to look at the problem mys elf. Firsthand.
To go underground, and actually experience America...
as a white man.
Eddie's voice: I hired the best make-up people in the business.
To pass as a white man, e v erything had to be perfe ct.
Make-up man: I think that's a little light.
Okay, let's try this.
- I look kind of "Harry Reems-ish." - I like it.
Eddie's voice: I studied for my role v ery carefully.
I watched lots of "Dynasty."
See? See how the y walk?
Their butts are real tight when the y walk.
The y'v e got to keep their butts tight.
I'v e got to keep my butt real tight when I walk.
Eddie: And I read a whole bunch of Hallmark cards.
(throaty voiced) "For my lov ely wife...
you'll always mean lots more to me than you could e v er guess,
for you hav e done so much to fill my life with happiness."
Finally, I was ready.
What are you doing?
I'm buying this newspaper.
That's all right, there's nobody around.
Go ahead, take it. Take it.
Go ahead, take it.
Yeah, take it.
Clerk: Take it.
Eddie: Slowly I began to realize
that when white people are alone,
the y giv e things to each other for free.
There was only one other black man on the bus.
(stop signal rings)
H e got off on 45th Street.
(instrumental v ersion of "Cabaret" plays)
The problem was much more s erious than I'd e v er imagined.
Let me get this straight, Mister... Mr. White.
You'd like to borrow $50,000 from our bank.
But you hav e no collateral, you hav e no credit,
you don't e v en hav e any I D. Is that corre ct?
That's right.
Mr. White, I'm sorry,
this is not a charity. This is a business...
Harry, why don't you take your break now.
I'll take care of Mr. White.
Okay. Thanks, Bob.
(Bob chuckles)
- That was a clos e one, wasn't it? - It certainly was.
We don't hav e to bother with thes e formalities. Do we, Mr White?
What a silly N egro.
Just take what you want, Mr. White.
Pay us back anytime... or don't, we don't care.
Tell me, do you know of any other banks like this in this area?
So what did I learn from all of this?
I learned we still hav e a v ery long way to go in this country
before all men are truly equal. But I'll tell you something...
I'v e got a lot of friends. And we'v e got a lot of make-up.
So the next time you're hugging up
with some really super-groovy white guy,
or you met a great super-keen white chick,
don't be too sure.
The y might be black.
Announcer: It's "James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party."
And now, here he is,
"The Godfather of Soul," and "Hot Tub Man #1"...James Brown!
(uptempo R&B music plays)
Sometimes it make me break out in a cold sweat!
One, two, three, four!
(dance music plays)
Hot tub! Hah! Full of water
I said, hot tub! Hah! I said, v ery, v ery, v ery hot
Said, hot tub! Gonna get ya hot-a!
Gonna make ya sweat! Said, hot tub!
Rub-a-dub in the hot tub! Rub-a-dub with me!
- Should I get in the hot tub? - Yeah!
- Will it make me sweat? - Yeah!
- Should I get in the hot tub? - Yeah!
- Will it make me wet? - Yeah!
Well, well, well...
(music resumes)
Hot tub! Looky here!
Gonna get in the water! Gonna make me sweat-ah...
H ere I go in the hot tub...
Ahhh! Too hot in the hot tub!
Burn mys elf... make it cooler!
Good God!
I'm gonna get in the hot tub
I'm gonna get in the hot tub... look here
And then... gonna make me sweat-ah
Gonna make me sweat
Gonna make me sweat-ah... gonna get me in the hot tub
I can't stand it. H ere I go... I can't stand it
H ere I go in the hot tub... gonna get in the hot tub
Gonna get it wet-ah... good God!
Aaahh! Hot! Good God!
Rub-a-dub in the hot tub
Rub-a-dub with me! Good God!
Rub-a-dub in the hot tub. Gonna s et me free.
Don't go away, we'll be right back with more "Celebrity Hot Tub."
Announcer: Coming up next, Dr. Joy ce Brothers
joins James Brown on "Celebrity Hot Tub Party."
H ello. Are you a female high s chool dropout
between the ages of 16 and 25?
Are you tired of doors being slammed in your face
when you apply for a job?
Are you tired of lying around in bed all day with nothing to do?
Well, you ne v er need get up again. Be caus e in six short weeks,
I can train you to be a high-paying ho. That's right.
It's a known fact that a good ho can make up to $ 1,500 a week.
Just think, $ 1,500 a week without e v en leaving
the comforts of your own bedroom.
Sounds too good to be true? Just s end for my new book entitled,
"I Wanna Be A Ho."
And if in six short weeks, you're not confident
that you can make big mone y as a ho working for me,
just s end the book back for a full refund.
It's as simple as that.
Well, you get to meet new people, trav el,
wear nice clothes, make mone y and hav e lots and lots of s ex!
What more could a woman ask for?
Don Pardo: Rush 19.95 to...
Be somebody. Be a ho.
We're all s et to re cord as soon as he gets here, Mr. Sinatra.
Good, good, good.
Son, come here. How does the album sound so far?
- It's excellent, Mr. Sinatra. - Thank you, that's v ery nice.
I wanna do some tunes that the young people will enjoy.
That's why I'm calling this album, "Frank Sings Tunes
The Young People Will Enjoy."
Excus e me. Mr. Sinatra, sir? H e's here.
- Show him in. - Yes, sir.
Ste vie Wonder, Ste vie Wonder... you are aptly named.
Like I said many times, you are truly a wonder.
Thanks a lot, Frank.
Let me ask you something, do you do your own hair?
- No, I don't. - Then you got no excus e.
A little joke, Ste vie. It looks great.
Come on ov er here to the piano.
It's right in front of you, my friend.
You all right there? There you go.
Fine. You know, Frank,
I feel it is a tremendous honor to be re cording with you.
Thank you, Ste vie. I feel... I feel the same.
I'm v ery much into that tune you do with the Beatle kid.
What's his name? The one that looks like a broad?
- H is name's Paul McCartne y. - Yeah, y eah. That's the dude.
Would you be so kind as to run down that song for me, Ste vie?
(plays piano introduction)
Ebony and Ivory
Liv e together in perfe ct harmony
- Side by side... - Ste vie, Ste vie...
Hold it, Ste vie. Something tells me
that this is more than a song about playing the piano.
it's about racial equality and unity of all people.
Well... I don't understand, when I think of "Ebony,"
I think of a magazine that most people do not buy.
And when I think of "Ivory," I think of a soap that floats.
Ebony and ivory are the black and white ke ys on the piano, Frank.
Ste vie, I know that, you know that.
But it's too arts y for the public, capice?
I talked to the master, Sammy Kahn.
Sammy is a marv elous songwriter... no offens e, Ste v e.
And Sammy thinks we should go with something like...
"Chocolate and Vanilla." Or how about this...
"Life is an Eskimo Pie, Why Don't We Take A Bite?"
I'm afraid that might be offensiv e to some people.
Who cares what the Eskimos think? The y don't buy re cords, huh?
Okay, Ste v e, let's s ee. "Ebony and Ivory," huh?
"Ebony and Ivory." "Ebony..."
H e y, Ste vie, what the hell we beating around the bush for?
This is 1982. Let's get right to the point, huh?
Take it from the top. Swing it, Ste vie. With a bounce, baby.
(plays piano uptempo)
You are black, I am white
Life's an Eskimo Pie, let's take a bite
That was groovy thinkin', Lincoln, when you s et them free
We all know, cats are the same Maine to Mexico
Good, bad, guys and chicks
I am dark and you are light
You are blind as a bat and I hav e sight
Side by side you are my amigo, N egro, let's not fight
- Ebony and ivory... - That's good.
Just living in perfe ct harmony...
We're talking salt and pepper, Sammy and Dean
Ste vie and me are peachy keen
- You are white - You are black
And who cares?
Who cares, baby?
(woman laughs)
I don't s ee what's so funny.
H ello, my name is Professor Shabazz K. Morton.
In 1895, at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama,
a black man named George Washington Carv er
de v eloped a new method of soul... soil...
improv ement through crop rotation...
so I mess ed up. Shut up!
(laughter, applaus e)
Stop clapping before y'all make me smile!
- To end the South's agricultural dependence on cotton alone.
As a result, Carv er came up
with hundreds of industrial us es for the peanut.
Sure industrial us es. Meanwhile, one night,
he's having a few friends ov er to his hous e for dinner.
And one of them leans ov er and says to Dr. Carv er,
"Excus e me, George. What's that you're putting on your bread?"
And Carv er says, "That's a butter substitute that I made from peanuts.
I can't digest all that animal fat, you know."
So the other fellow tasted it, and he says, " H mm...
this pastes pretty... this tastes..."
- (laughter) - Yeah... keep on smiling.
"This tastes pretty good, man. Mind if we peek at the re cipe?"
And Dr. Carv er says, "Take a peek? You can hav e it.
Who's gonna eat butter made out of peanuts?
No, I'm working on a method to compress peanuts
into phonograph needles."
So, Dr. Carv er's two dinner guests, Edward "Skippy" Williamson
and Frederick "Jif" Armstrong... two white men,
stole George Washington Carv er's re cipe for peanut butter,
copyrighted it, and reaped untold fortunes from it.
While Dr. Carv er died penniless and insane,
still trying to play a phonograph re cord with a peanut.
This has been "Black H istory Minute."
I'm Shabazz K. Morton. Good night.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I always wanted to liv e in a hous e like yours, my friend
Maybe when there's nobody home, I'll break in
So, I married this woman said she was rich,
Spent all of her mone y, walked out on the bitch
Would you be my... won't you be my
Won't you be my neighbor?
H ello, boys and girls!
You're probably wondering why Mr. Robinson
is putting on his glitter shoes.
Well, thes e are rock-and-roll shoes, boys and girls.
Do you know why? Let's look at our word for the day.
You can't read it, boys and girls,
be caus e it's the "Soul Train Scramble Board"!
(applaus e)
That's our word for the day!
See what thes e are, boys and girls? The y're drums.
That's a musical instrument, you know.
Do you know where drums come from? From Africa!
You know where thes e drums come from?
Smoke y Robinson was at the Apollo Theater,
and left his v an open in the back of the place.
I ripped him off!
I wonder how Smoke y is gonna sound with no percussion?
Do you know what drums sound like, boys and girls?
(plays rock-and-roll rhythm)
(telephone rings)
That's the telephone, boys and girls!
Let's s ee who it can be.
(aggressiv e shout) Who is it!! What?!
Oh, that ain't loud... this is loud!
(blows shrilly)
Now, where were we, boys and girls?
Man: Mr. Robinson! Robinson!
I know you're in there! Stop beating them drums!
You hear me? (banging on door)
That's my new neighbor. But don't be s cared, boys and girls,
I just installed a new lock. H e'll ne v er get in here.
(cheering, applaus e)
H ello, boys and girls.
The new word for today is "pain."
Sing the song!
(strained) A v ery happy tomorrow to you.
Good night, boys and girls.
(jazz saxophone music plays)
Don Pardo: Time once again for "Black Talk."
I said, " H e y, what's going on? I paid my bill."
She says, "If you paid your bill, you'd hav e no problem."
So I say, " H e y, yo, bitch, I paid my bill and the lights is out.
What's happenin'? Ain't no lights in my apartment
and I paid the damn bill, you know?"
She said, "Look, I understand." I said, "I'll come back tomorrow,
If my lights ain't on, I'm gonna kick some butt down at Con Edison.
- That's what the y need. - Know what happened y esterday?
CJ came by my hous e, right? You know what happened...?
Don Pardo: Be sure to tune in next week, for more of...
It's "The Little Richard Simmons Show."
(audience cheers)
Thank you, thank you!
How are you today?
How are you?
That's good that we feel good! I feel great!
Oh, let's s ee what we're wearing here.
Oh, you look nice.
Hone y, ne v er wear "Battleship Gray."
2,000 sailors'll try to board you. H ere we go.
Okay, let's shape up... oh! Oh my G...
David, can you get me a shot of this ov er here?
David, pleas e. This is disgusting!
Oh! Oh, you girls hav e let yours elv es go!
It's time to shape up or ship out!
We're gonna do some exercis e. E v eryone ready?
Come on, e v erybody up ov er here. E v erybody up.
E v erybody, let's do it!
E v erybody, up there too, come on!
E v eryone stand up, come on.
Stand up, before I smack someone! H ere we go!
All right, here we go. It's v ery eas y... like this!
And one, and two, and three, and four...
are you ready?
- Are you ready? - (fanfare plays)
- Do you know what day it is? - Woman: No.
Girls, do you know what day it is? What day is it?
Protein day!
That's right! I'v e been getting my protein.
- Hav e you, girls? - (audience laughs)
Anyway, let's go. One, and two, and three...
are you ready? Let me hear it!
Audience: Yes!
Ready, s et, go fat, go!
I know a girl whos e butt hangs low
She's flabby... flabby, flabby, flabby
She's flabby... flabby, flabby, flabby
She's flabby... flabby, flabby, flabby
If she stepped on your foot, she'd mash your toe!
Good golly, Miss Molly, you look like a hog
Good golly, Miss Molly, you look like a hog
You better start a-running, be caus e it's much too late to jog
From the early, early morning to the early, early night
You're nothing but a fat disgusting ball of cellulite
Good golly, Miss Molly! You look like a hog
Well, you better start running, 'caus e it's much too late to jog
Come on, e v erybody, go! One, two, three, four...
(plays solo)
Oh, play that saxophone!
Play that saxophone! So nice
E v erybody, come on!
You're not clapping up there!
Let's go, e v erybody. One, two, three,
reach... four, fiv e, six,
s e v en, eight, nine, 10,
11, 12...
Wop bom-a-loo-mop, a-wop bam-boom!
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Wop bom-a-loo-mop, a-wop bam-boom!
I know a gal named Dais y
The girl is fat and lazy
I know a gal named Dais y
The girl is fat and lazy
She got blubber to the east, blubber to the west
The bitch got long and flabby breasts
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Tutti frutti, all rooty
Wop bom-a-loo-mop, a-wop bam-boom!
Good night. Watch the show!
- Thank you! - (audience cheers)
Good night! I lov e you! Goodby e!
Narrator: Robbins, Sheldon, Krantz, Mazel...
all popular fiction writers. All of them sprang
from the prestigious educational institutions
that hav e been the backbone of American literature.
Where are tomorrow's H emingways and Faulkners coming from?
- Prisons. - (rattling)
I think that most of today's writers
are coming from the straining, compacted bowels
of that beast we call the American penal s ystem.
Thes e men hav e liv ed... the y'v e suffered,
the y'v e maimed, the y'v e killed.
The y'v e written some stunning books.
Without a doub t, anything by a prisoner
is an automatic bests eller.
I tell aspiring writers, "If you commit a crime, we'll talk."
Narrator: Rockland Prison. Warden Carl Hoddegger.
Hoddegger: You can talk Leav enworth, you can talk Attica...
you can e v en talk Fulsom...
but none of them has the sterling literary tradition
we hav e here at Rockland.
Narrator: Bobby Glov er is s erving up to 20 y ears
for cutting up his fiancée with a linoleum knife.
I'm into haiku. The narrow restrictions of the form
hav e led me to an imagistic freedom heretofore...
(inmates shouting)
Narrator: Our cameras are there
when one prisoner is caught in an act of plagiarism.
Inmate: Why don't you s ee what you can steal out of that!
H ere, the prisoners keep in touch with the outside world.
No way! I won't s ettle for less than 18% of the paperback...
People who watch "Merv Griffin" don't buy books.
Any agent in the business...
Narrator: Each y ear, Rockland sponsors a poetry festiv al.
Tyrone Green is this y ear's winner.
"Images," by Tyrone Green.
"Dark and lonely on the summer night...
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord
The watchdog barking... do he bite?
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord
Slip in his window, break his ne ck
Then his hous e I start to wre ck
Got no reason... what the he ck!
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord
C-l-L-L... my landlord.
Dostoy e v sky said, "The degree of civilization in a society
can be judged by entering its prisons."
As someone els e said, "If Shakespeare were aliv e today,
he'd be doing time."
Buckwheat and the Dupreemes!
(music starts playing)
I need nub, nub, to eeh mah mine
I need duh bine, bine tummun to tall mine... my mama ded...
Tant huwwy nub No, noo dust ab to mait
Ee day Nub don come eeday
Id uh dame ob dib an take...
H enno, nadees an dennalmen, I'm Buh-weet,
and dees aw de Dupeemes!
(audience cheers)
Let's tay a mock down "Menneny Nane."
De y ea wah nineteen diksty-bibe.
Dop, in duh naym ob nub
Bebore you bake my art
Dank it oh-oh-ber
Mere ma noo wen oo purs e erd is?
Ow purs e doe ekerd.
Oooh, oooh
Abie nub, abie nub
I need duh, oh ow I need uh nub
E eded ub baitin ub
Id dodda pitta nu maitin ub
Don doh ow nub amay
Abie, abie
Abie, abie nub.
(applaus e)
Noo no, nadees an dennalmen...
na murld a be a mush bettah pace
eb be all dust nern de nub munnadudder.
En dus tyna...
Ting with me. Mee ch out and dutch
Dumbodys 'and
Mait dis murl a bettah pace
Ip doo tan...
O-tay! Mee ch out and dutch
Dumbodys 'and
Mait dis murl a bettah pace
Ip doo tan.
Eddie: We all know that y ears of wind and weather
can turn a beautiful home like yours into an ugly e y esore.
But what if you could prote ct your home?
What if you could keep it beautiful fore v er
with a giant s ee-through plastic bubble?
Well, you can't!
The y don't make no damn plastic bubble, you stupid idiots!
E v en if the y did, how you gonna find one
big enough to fit ov er your hous e? What you gonna do?
How you gonna get it home? On top of your damn station wagon?
Let's say you could get one. You're sitting around,
this big stupid plastic bubble ov er your hous e, right?
Now you got it made, right? You didn't stop to think...
what happens when you get hungry? How the y gonna bring food inside?
The y can't deliv er sandwiches with a plastic bubble ov er your hous e.
What the y gonna do then? The best part about it...
I was thinking, what happens when you run out of air, right?
You're inside this place for fiv e days, you run out of air...
don't you feel real stupid sitting in that bubble dead, huh?
You feel real dumb, right? Let me tell you something,
if you feel that you got to hav e this plastic bubble,
and you'v e got to spend your mone y on it,
here's Mel to tell you how to do it. Plastic bubble!
- Y'all some stupid people... - Announcer: Thanks, Eddie.
Send che ck or mone y order to...
Do it today!
This is Buzzy Free, welcome to "Rock and Roll and Then Some."
Our guest today is here be caus e this is the 20th anniv ersary
of the Beatles' inv asion in America. H is name is Clarence Walker,
and he claims that he conceiv ed the group's image and wrote
most of the music, and was, in fact, the fifth Beatle
and head singer before being kicked out of the group in 1963.
- H ello, Clarence. Welcome. - H ello, man.
So, you inv ented the Beatles?
Yeah, man. I was ripped off by the whole group.
The whole group got a behind-kicking coming to 'em when I s ee them.
I'v e been looking for them boys since 1963.
That's why the y got around-the-clock-s e curity
and gates around their hous e, 'caus e the y know
that when Clarence Walker finds them,
he's gonna take a chunk out their behind.
Clarence, can you prov e you were the fifth Beatle?
Yes, I can prov e it, man. And I suggest you take
that sarcasm out of your voice, 'caus e I'm s erious.
I'm sorry, Clarence, the whole thing s eems so absurd...
Then say it s eems absurd, man. Don't patronize me.
I'll kick your behind right here on national tele vision.
I was the fifth Beatle, I hav e proof.
All right. What is that proof, Clarence?
H ere's a photograph of us back in 1962,
before the y kicked me out of the group.
Clarence: That's John, that's Ringo, that's me in the middle,
that's me, Clarence, that's George and that's Paul.
I ne v er heard any saxophone, I s ee you're holding a saxophone.
I ne v er heard any sax on any early Beatle music.
Are you crazy? Most of them early songs were mostly sax, man.
But the y stole it from me. The y took my voice out,
the y took the saxophone out, It was gone, all right?
I did most of the lead vocals too. Let me tell you something,
when I s ee them boys, I'm gonna put my foot so deep in them,
their breath gonna smell like shoe polish.
Can you giv e us an example of what you'v e wrote and what the y changed?
Yes, I can. "She Lov es You," was originally titled
"She Lov es You, Man."
And "H elp" was originally titled, "H elp Me, Man."
"She's Got a Ticket To Ride" was originally,
"She's Got a Ticket to Ride and the Bitch Don't Care, Man."
What about their clothing and the way the y wore their hair?
All that is my idea. I molded thos e boys.
I was the most dominant one. That's the way we were des cribed.
John was the wis e guy, Paul was the cute one,
George was the quiet one, Ringo was the shy one,
Clarence was the most dominant one. I molded the boys.
In the beginning the y us ed to do e v erything that I did.
In fact, here's a picture of us back in '61,
when the y was called "The Clarences." Can you get that?
See, that's me right there, and that's George,
that's John, that's Ringo and that's Paul.
I taught them how to pick their afros and e v erything out, man.
Paul still us es "Afro-sheen" be caus e of me.
This is astonishing. I wonder if you hav e
- any of your early jam s essions. - Yes, I do, I do.
I brought some of the early music,
and I hav e it in a medle y form so you can listen to it.
You can hear us in our original jam s ession.
This is the original Beatles. I can play this thing backwards.
You can hear them talking about it. You'll hear John Lennon.
I'll play it in re v ers e. Listen v ery clos ely.
John's voice: " H e y, Paul, let's get rid of Clarence
and steal all his good ideas."
Paul: "Yeah."
Well, I'll tell you, Clarence, you convinced me.
I hope you get e v erything that you des erv e.
Thanks a lot, man. I don't want much, I'm v ery modest.
All I want is to get my rent straight, get my head together,
all I need is $ 7,000-7,200 to get straight, that's all I want.
- I ain't greedy. - Se v en grand?
- Se v en grand is all I need. - That's it, thank you, Clarence.
But the y'v e got behind-kickings coming.
- This is Buzzy Free, good night. - I want a chunk out of each...
(rock music drowns dialogue)
You're all s et to go on the air, you two miniature thespians.
You're both so cute. Look at y'all, you're so cute.
The y'v e got the cutest little butts.
- I wonder how big... - Dion...
You know, Blair, I simply cannot belie v e we are here.
We are official "Saturday N ight Liv e" hairdress ers.
Look out, world, here I come.
I'm at the apex of my hairstyling powers.
What am I, "The Quiche Time Forgot"?
Don't be silly, Blair, you're my pre cious assistant.
"Saturday N ight Liv e" today. Look at us on "Saturday N ight Liv e."
Maybe the y'll dis cov er me on the show... I can say
"I'm Dion Dion, and you're not."
Think of all the stars we're going to meet.
That's nothing, look at this.
Take a gander at who's hosting tonight's show...
- "Mr. N ewman"? - Paul N ewman?!
Ahh! I lov e him!
I e v en us e his salad dressing. It has a uniquely piquant tang.
And now I'm gonna do his hair on national tele vision.
Oh sweet Jesus, I walked into the v alle y of the Lord,
and I'll walk out with Butch Cassidy.
Listen, "Sundance," plug in your hair dry er,
it's going to be a bus y night.
Fellas, this is Mr. N ewman. H e has to be ready in fiv e minutes.
(audience applauds)
My God, what happened to you since "The Verdict"?
I'd say it was definitely not in his favor. Poor Joanne Woodward.
No wonder she took up needlepoint.
Gentlemen, you'v e been misinformed. I'm Edwin N ewman the newsman.
I'm not Paul N ewman the actor, although I enjoy his salad dressing,
which has an unusually piquant tang.
Edwin N ewman! Of cours e. I knew it all along.
Dion, you ignoramus, don't you e v er watch the news?
I don't watch the news, Blair, I read it e v ery week
in "The National Enquirer."
Good e v ening, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jess e Jackson.
(audience cheers)
And I was re cently quoted in "The Washington Post"
as referring to a certain group of people as "H ymies."
The y also said that I called N ew York, "H ymietown."
I realize that kind of talk isn't kosher,
but let me s ee if I can explain it to you all in song.
(R&B music plays)
As I said, I'm Jess e Jackson,
and I'm running for President of the U nited States.
I'm a Libra,
and this is a v ery spe cial message to all you chos en people out there.
- Don't let me down - Jess e: No, no
- Don't let me down - No, no, no, no
Don't let me down...
H ymietown
Hymietown, well, well Hymietown...
I was your one and only until I read the news
Well, now I'm sad and lonely since I put down the Jews
We hav e so much in common
'Caus e we'v e both been so oppress ed
Singer: All right
We both hav e big nos es
And gold chains on our chests
I wanna say pleas e now
- Don't let me down - I'm begging you, pleas e
- Don't let me down - I'm down on my knees, well
- Don't let me down - H ymietown
Hymietown, well, well... Hymietown...
I want to form a new coalition,
of soul people and bagel people.
From the Chitlin' District, to the Diamond District.
From catfish to gefilte fish.
We all need to liv e as one.
I want to look out ov er the crowd and s ee both leather hats
and yarmulkes side by side.
So come on, you brothers and sisters...
all you hymies and hymettes...
- Let's get it together. - Yeah!
Let's bring it all down, well, well, well
I wanna talk about lov e for one another
H ymietown...
Want to form a soul and kosher coalition
I lov e thos e black suits you wear
And them little tiny curls that hang down in your hair
You know we all need one another
I want to stay right here in H ymietown, well, well
With all my hymie brothers and sisters
Sometimes I feel a little hymie mys elf
Baruch ata adonai
H ymietown.
(applaus e)
Good e v ening, I'm Alfred Jenkins, and welcome to "Milestones,"
the show that re cognizes greatness.
Tonight we hav e two guests who hav e achie v ed greatness
in their respe ctiv e fields. To my left
is a man who's been des cribed as the unifying leader
in the fight against South African apartheid,
and a champion of basic human rights throughout the world.
Winner of the 1984 Nobel Prize...
To my right, H eisman Trophy winner, Doug Flutie
of Boston College.
Welcome, gentlemen. Bishop Tutu, first of all,
I wanted to say how shocked and distress ed I was
that e v en as you were being pres ented
this v enerable s ymbol of peace, a bomb threat was taking place.
In my estimation, the bomb threat repres ents the sheer desperation
of thos e oppos ed to basic human principles
of freedom and justice.
So, Doug, speaking of bombs, that pass against Miami...
if there was e v er a doub t in anyone's mind
that you des erv e this trophy... hav e you s een this, Bishop?
Yes, I was admiring it. It is v ery nice, .
Very impressiv e indeed, I like this.
What was going through your mind when you floated that pass?
Well, basically, Alfred, we call it "The Hail-Mary Pass."
You just clos e your e y es and say, " Hail Mary, pleas e,
let this ball land in the wide re ceiv er's hands.
Pleas e, your humble s erv ant, Doug Flutie... Amen."
that was it, basically. A little bit of good timing
- and a little bit of luck. - H uh? Luck?
Why don't we watch the play on the monitor ov er here?
Why don't you just turn your chair
and tell us what we're going to s ee, okay?
This is the "split-right-3" or "Ke yhole" formation.
"Ke yhole," y eah.
- What's the matter with you? - The thing just dropped down.
- What did you drop it for? - It's a mistake!
- I didn't mean to drop it. - Don't make that mistake anymore.
...really let the thing fly. And luckily, the wide re ceiv er...
How are you gonna fix it?
Me don't know how to fix the thing. I'm a bishop, not a welder.
Tell him, " Doug Flutie, the thing broke."
H ere... stick this on.
Stick the gum on? Put it under there.
- Stick it on and fix it. - Put it on there.
H ere it is again. What I wanted to do
was to go back and really let loos e with one...
- Right. I can s ee why. ...many times before...
Right. What a play. And need I remind the viewers
that this cemented your hold on...
on the H eisman Trophy.
Doug, why don't we watch that again?
Let's s ee that again in slow motion. Whip around here.
Doug: I think I clearly indicated before,
it was a "split-right-3," what we call a "flood tip" formation.
- What are you doing? - Me tried to fix the thing.
- It break off! - Do it quickly, okay?
Me try the best I can. It don't want to stick back on!
- You're not doing it fast enough. - What am I suppos ed to do?
Fix it. That's all I'm asking you. You're not suppos ed to break it.
I didn't break it on purpos e!
What about the stuff in your hair? What is that?
That's a "Carefree Curl." That's not gonna make it stick on.
- It would just make it curlier. - Just fix it, all right?
- I'm just back and I'm gonna... - (medal clangs)
- I'm gonna unleash the thing... - Right.
That's it, basically.
Well... that's a spe ctacular pie ce of strategy,
and fully des erving of this...
the H eisman Trophy.
What's this?
It is an armband. A unifying s ymbol
of our commitment to fighting racism all ov er the world.
Right. Well, that's real nice, Tutu,
but I really don't think that I can take your only ribbon.
Tutu, did you notice this? How his name is engrav ed on there?
- Oh! - Isn't that nice?
Isn't that something els e?
Speaking of something els e, the pass that you threw...
talk about... why don't we look at that again,
be caus e it's such an amazing play.
No! We're not going to look at the play again.
I'v e been on 200 talk shows, now,
and I'v e had to talk to this play for 200.
I'm sick of it, frankly. It was a lucky play, that's all.
Had nothing to do with...
my e y es were clos ed, you know? It was a fluke.
Put the thing there. Hold it ov er.
Doug: For the rest of my life, what's gonna happen?
- That was my moment in the sun. - H urry, now!
Doug: My moment in the sun was not e v en my moment.
The thing not taking, now!
Who's gonna hire me? I'm 5'9". Who's gonna draft me?
If I'm lucky, I'll get a beer commercial out of this...
an off-brand or something.
No... my entire life,
I'll be sitting around in a trailer park somewhere.
People will say, "Come on, Dougie, let's s ee the film again!
Show it again, Dougie!"
Can't you s ee how one play has ruined my entire life?
Well... one play, that's guaranteed this, the H eis...
...H eisman Trophy. Thanks for being here.
Thanks for coming. Tutu, if you win anything els e, come back, okay?
- Doug: What is this? - Thanks for watching "Milestones."
It's the... I don't know what you call this.
(applaus e)
Miss, I know you'v e been sworn. I'v e read your complaint.
Would you pleas e tell us what happened?
I was laying around my hotel room at the Hotel Earl.
I was watching "The Joe Franklin Show,"
and I s ee this greas eball ov er here holding up a book
that says it's gonna change my life.
Do you hav e a copy of the book in question?
Yes, My Honor. "I Wanna be a Ho."
Are you a woman between the ages 18 and 34?
If you are you can make up to $ 1500 a week.
Yeah, my backside, Your Honor. I didn't s ee buck one!
Mr. Jones,
is there anything you'd like to say in your defens e?
Yes, My Honor. As you v ery well know,
not e v eryone can be a ho. You s ee,
I think I can clear this up in just three words...
"the bitch ugly." I rest my cas e.
Wait a minute, here! Come on! Come on!
Announcer: We interrupt our programming
to bring you the following Spe cial Report.
Good e v ening, I'm Ted Koppel.
We hav e just re ceiv ed word that Buckwheat has been shot.
Apparently, it happened moments ago as the legendary performer
was leaving 30 Rockefeller Plaza in N ew York.
H e had finished an appearance on "Saturday N ight Liv e,"
and as he was leaving the building,
he was shot by an unknown assailant,
or assailants... details are sketchy at this point.
Now, I understand that we now hav e a videotape of the shooting.
Let's take a look.
Woman fan: Oh, Mr. Buckwheat, I so lov e your singing,
- could I hav e your autograph? - Tank you berry much.
No autographs, peas e, peas e. No, no. Open the door.
I nub noo! I nub noo! I nub noo.
Oh, beautiful.
- Man: H e y, Mr. Wheat! - Yes?
(gunshots cracking)
(women s creaming)
That was the s cene just moments ago.
To repeat: Buckwheat has been shot.
We understand that he has been rushed to a nearby hospital,
his condition unknown. We'll bring you more details
as this shocking tragedy de v elops.
(announcer speaks)
...brought to you by...
For the benefit of thos e of you who hav e just joined us,
Buckwheat has been shot. Let's take a look.
Buckwheat: I nub noo. I nub noo.
H ere he is, coming out of what appears to be
30 Rockefeller Plaza... there he is.
Now, the shots come right about here.
- Man: H e y, Mr. Wheat! - Yes?
- (gunshots) - Ted Koppel: H ere the y are.
(women s creaming)
Now, I hav e just been told that Buckwheat has arriv ed
at St. Vincent's Hospital. Let's go there, liv e.
All right. As you can s ee, s e v eral of Buckwheat's friends
are already there.
I can't belie v e it! I can't belie v e the y shot him.
It's just terrible!
Alfalfa, hav e you had a chance to s ee the actual footage
- of Buckwheat being shot? - No, I hav en't.
Koppel: Then, let's take a look.
- Man: H e y, Mr. Wheat! - Yes?
Koppel: Alfalfa, what are your feelings as you watch that?
Oh, I'm hurt
and confus ed and I don't know what to say.
No comment!
Koppel: Alfalfa apparently stunned by this tragic turn of e v ents.
All right, we're going inside now.
Buckwheat, as you can s ee, going under the knife.
Doctor, excus e me, this is Ted Koppel.
Hav e you had a chance to s ee the actual footage of Buckwheat
- as he was shot? - Doctor: No. I hav en't.
Koppel: Well, then, let's take a look.
There he is, about to get into his limousine
at 30 Rock...
and, well, the picture speaks for its elf.
Buckwheat being shot.
To repeat, Buckwheat has been shot.
H e's now in emergency surgery, and all we Americans can do
is wait and worry.
(announcer speaks)
...brought to you by...
We hav e just...
we hav e just re ceiv ed some tragic news. Buckwheat is dead.
(gunshots popping)
(announcer speaks)
...brought to you by...
For thos e of you just joining us, Buckwheat is dead.
How did he die? Let's take a look at the videotape.
Buckwheat: Oh beautiful.
Koppel: All right now, as you can s ee,
there it is. It s eems that the shots
came from Buckwheat's left side
there are the s e curity men going right after the assailant,
or assailants... we're not quite sure as y et.
Who killed Buckwheat, and why?
Good questions. We intend to be here tomorrow night,
and e v ery night, until thos e questions are answered.
U ntil then, we pay a final tribute to a great performer.
("Little Ras cals" theme music plays)
Buckwheat dead.
This is Ted Koppel reporting.
We now return you to our regular programming. Good night.
Announcer: Mayberry. A town in the grips
of the hardest criminals e v er to stain a street.
But in 1982, the s cum who run Mayberry
had better watch out, be caus e...
(announcer speaks)
Opie Taylor... once he was a small-town wimp
who got beaten up for his lunch mone y.
But then he left home and grew up fast in Vietnam,
teaching the Viet Cong a lesson in small-town American v alues
with a flame thrower.
And now he's back, ready to clean up Mayberry
with a loaded.357.
Drop that gun, lady.
Why, I re cognize that voice.
It belongs to that obnoxious runt nephew of mine.
- Aunt Bee! - Opie!
Floyd: Opie Taylor...
What the hell are you doing here? We heard you bought it in 'Nam.
Oh, no, that wasn't me, Aunt Bee. That was "The Beav er."
No, I spent three y ears in a rat cage in Quang Tri.
Three y ears, dreaming of orange pop, fishing and apple pie.
What happened to this town, Aunt Bee?
Well, times change, "runt."
Your damned father didn't leav e much for me to liv e on,
so I'v e rounded up Thelma Lou and a couple of the girls,
and I started a local business.
Turns out people were tired of having to driv e up to Mount Pilot
e v ery time the y wanted to get some "tail."
Aunt Bee, that's disgusting.
And Floyd...
Floyd, what's happened to you? You're...
- You're... - I'm black, "genius."
Always been black, Opie. Oh, for y ears I was black.
For 10 y ears, your pa us ed to know about it.
H e us ed to make me walk around Mayberry wearing whiteface.
Your pa knew about it. You know, you should liv e up to it...
getting your hair cut by a N egro, boy.
If I had my way, I would cut your throat. I would hav e. Yes.
Don Pardo: And now, "Speaking Freely,"
with your host, Edwin N ewman.
H ello, I'm Edwin N ewman. "Speaking Freely" tonight
is a man who's been referred to
as the " Hardest Working Man in Show Business,"
and "The Godfather of Soul."
I'm speaking, of cours e, of James Brown.
(audience applaus e)
Thank you for being with us tonight, Mr. Brown.
I say, hunh... look hear! Hah!
Mr. Brown, your career has spanned almost three de cades,
and y et your style has remained intact and constant.
That's be caus e... hah... I'm a man!
Spell "man"..."m-a-n." Oww-ww!
And y et in the '70s... or maybe it was the late '60s...
you abruptly be came political and you openly endors ed candidates
such as H ubert H umphre y. Now, why did you do that?
'Caus e Papa's got a brand new bag.
Ha-ha! I gotta-gotta gotta... hah!
Will you now retire?
Pleas e, pleas e, pleas e...
I want so bad... giv e it up, or turn it loos e... y ee-ow!
I think our time is up.
James Brown has been "Speaking Freely."
Edwin N ewman, N BC N ews.
(holiday music plays)
Announcer: "Hallmark" proudly pres ents...
a Gumby Christmas.
Ladies and gentlemen, Gumby!
(cheers, applaus e)
Merry Christmas, dammit! I am Gumby,
and I want to say before I get started, it's about time
the swines at the network gav e me my own spe cial.
I'v e been sitting in my living room watching spe cials with nobodies
like Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-nos ed Reindeer for y ears.
H e y, Rudy! Drop dead, baby! This is my spe cial!
We know why the nos e is red, Rudy. (mimics gulping)
You know, this is the part of the spe cial
when I was going to de corate the Christmas tree
with my v ery good friend, Sammy Davis, Jr.
But unfortunately, Sammy could not be here tonight,
but he did s end us this lov ely ornament to de corate the tree with.
(audience laughs, groans)
Shut up!
H ere's looking at you, Sammy. Merry Christmas, dammit.
(light xylophone melody plays)
It's... one hell of a day in my neighborhood
A hell of a day for a neighbor
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I hope I get to mov e in your neighborhood some day
The problem is, is when I mov e in...
Y'all mov e away
So come along for some coke or some smoke
You bring the stash, 'caus e Robinson's broke
Will you be my... won't you be my... won't you be my neighbor?
H ello, boys and girls.
We're all alone again today. You know why?
My wife walked out on me.
Isn't that nice? I'm so glad the bitch is gone.
(door signal buzzes)
Who could that be?
Let's s ee.
This is how you answer a door in my neighborhood...
(aggressiv e shout) Who is it?!
Man: H e y, Robinson, open the door. I heard you in there.
I heard you singing. Open up! Come on! Come on!
It's Mr. Landlord. H ello, Mr. Landlord.
What the...? Cut the bull, will ya? Your rent's six months ov erdue!
It's a summons.
Oh, look... an e viction notice. Brought by Mr. Landlord.
Can you say, "s cumbucket"?
That's our spe cial word for today, boys and girls.
Do you know any s cumbuckets? I'll bet you do.
You know, I did hav e the mone y to pay this rent,
and then, all of a sudden, it mysteriously disappeared.
Then my wife showed up with a new dress on.
Want to s ee that dress now, boys and girls?
See the footprints on it?
I didn't take it off her to do that, neither.
You know what we're gonna do? Visit the President
and find out why I'm so poor.
Who wants to go to the magical "Land of Make-Belie v e"?
Would you like that? We'll go visit the President.
Who wants to visit the President?
We would like to talk with the President!
We would like to speak with the President. Where is he?
The President's always late. H e ain't ne v er on time!
H ere I am. My ne ck is hurting, though.
How are you doing, I'm the President. What's the problem?
Say, Mr. President, how come you cut off my relief mone y
and I got e victed from my hous e?
And how come I sound like "Geraldine"?
I can't do anything to help you with that, my friend.
Mr. President, Mr. President, I hav e a question.
How come you don't s ell one of them planes
so I could hav e s chool lunch?
I'm sorry. I can't answer that question neither.
But Mr. President, I think I speak for all black people!
Mr. President...
We don't hav e no more time for no more questions. Sorry.
I hav e to go now, boys and girls, so by e-by e.
A v ery happy tomorrow to you.
Good e v ening. Welcome to "Career Corner."
I'm your host, Bert Weiderme y er.
My guest tonight is a man who has touched all our liv es.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tooth Fairy.
(applaus e)
You'v e been around as long as I can remember, Mr. Fairy.
How long hav e you held your pres ent job?
U h... fore v er I'v e been doing this, basically. Fore v er.
And now you're about to change careers. Why?
See, for e v ery tooth I pick up...
I got to leav e a dime under the pillow, okay?
Then I got to take the tooth up to God, and he giv e me 12 ¢.
Now when you sub tract the dime I put out of my pocket already,
that leav es me clearing 2 ¢.
I don't know where you come from. 2 ¢ ain't a lot in my neighborhood.
No, no it's not.
But sometimes, too, I be getting ripped off by little kids.
The y be putting like, "Tic Tacs" under their pillows, right?
In the dark you can't tell the difference.
You think the y're teeth, right? So I take it up to God, right?
You know how it feels to giv e God a bag full of "Tic Tacs"?
I almost got fired once.
H e thought I was trying to tell him his breath stinks.
Actually, that's a re v elation.
I ne v er thought of your job as being dangerous.
Dangerous? Most people... normal people... panic
when the y walk in their kids' room and s ee a big black guy
standing there in a tutu, all right?
With a big bag of dimes ov er his shoulder.
I hav e been shot six times,
I got bit by 37 Doberman pins chers
and I had my behind kicked so many times,
I don't e v en want to talk about it no more.
Come on, Mr. Fairy.
You must get some gratification from your work?
Come on, e v erybody lov es the Tooth Fairy.
No, the y don't, man. I don't get no letters,
no "thank-yous," no nothing, all right?
And I'm a fairy, damn it. I hav e feelings, too.
What if you had your own spe cial day?
What do you mean?
You know, a day s et aside just for you, like your own holiday.
Oh, you mean, like, "Tooth Day"?
- Yeah. - Wow. Tooth Day!
E v erybody can wrap their teeth up in little cellophane paper,
and put it under a tree, right? I could come down the chimne y
and the y leav e me milk and cookies and e v erything...
That sounds an awful lot like Christmas.
We could hav e two Christmas es, then.
- I don't think so. - Why not?
- One for me, and one for him. - No, no... it's... I'm sorry.
I do a better job than Santa Claus, man.
- I'm afraid our time is up. - It's be caus e he's white, right?
Good night, e v eryone. It's not be caus e he's white.
I can get some reindeer, too. How much do reindeer cost?
- Forget the reindeer. - Y'all better do something quick.
Santa Claus is old and fat... probably hav e a heart attack soon.
- That's terrible. Stop that. - That's not terrible, man.
I'm telling you...
(announcer speaks)
...brought to you by...
Good e v ening, I'm Ted Koppel.
Surely e v eryone knows by now that Buckwheat is dead.
But for thos e of you who hav e not s een
the videotape of Buckwheat being shot, let's take a look.
I nub noo. I nub noo. I nub noo.
- Man: H e y, Mr. Wheat! - Yes?
Koppel: Buckwheat was buried today, and the entire world mourned.
World leaders gathered to offer a final tribute.
("Little Ras cals" theme plays in march tempo)
We now join millions of mourners around the world
in obs erving a moment of silence.
Announcer: This moment of silence is brought to you by...
Police hav e now identified Buckwheat's assailant.
H e is this man... 27-y ear-old John David Stutts...
des cribed by thos e who know him as a loner.
We understand that Stutts is now being taken to criminal court
for arraignment. Let's go there liv e.
- It's good to s ee you all. - All right, folks, keep back.
H i, I killed Buckwheat. I hav e a question for the American public.
When you dream, do you dream in color, or black and white?
Be caus e I dream in black and white.
Last e v ening I had a dream about lime jello.
I didn't know what flavor it was be caus e it was gray.
Then I tasted it and I realized it was lime.
- Definitely lime. - Reporter: Mr. Stutts...
- did you kill Buckwheat? - Sure.
Do you realize you face the death penalty?
- I don't care, sir. - Why did you kill him, Mr. Stutts?
I had to kill him. My dog told me he was the Antichrist.
What's the name of your dog, Mr. Stutts?
H is name is Pete y. H e's a Dalmatian.
Reporter: A Dalmatian?
I named him after a dog on the "Our Gang Follies."
H is name is Pete y.
In just a moment, John David Stutts will face arraignment
on charges of murder. Why did Stutts do it?
We'v e asked noted criminal ps y chiatrist, Dr. Irwin Fletcher
for his expert opinion. Welcome, Doctor.
What makes a man like John David Stutts commit such a crime?
Publicity. In the deranged mind of the killer,
he truly belie v es that if he kills someone famous,
he'll be come famous hims elf.
And, unfortunately,
certain irresponsible members of the media are only too eager
to turn thes e assassins into instant celebrities.
Thank you, Doctor.
Let's take a look at the man who killed Buckwheat, John David Stutts.
(announcer speaks)
...brought to you by...
Koppel: John David Stutts spent his childhood here,
in this modest home in Lima, Ohio.
E v eryone who knew him called him a "loner,
a quiet young man."
Stutts attended Sunday School at the Mercy Seat Baptist Church.
H e was a loner... a quiet young man.
He attended church... Sunday School,
I remember he was always v ery polite.
Koppel: Do you belie v e he killed Buckwheat?
Oh, y es. Definitely. That's all he talked about.
John David Stutts graduated from U nionville H igh School.
H is classmates called him, "The Loner."
Stutts was a member of the "Ke y Club,"
the "Audio-Visual Squad"...
and president of the "Future Assassins of America."
It's no wonder that his classmates chos e him
"Most Likely to Kill Buckwheat."
Sure, I remember Stutts.
H e was a loner, but a real hard worker.
I mean, he pumped the gas, he che cked the oil,
he washed the windows. N ice kid.
Koppel: Do you belie v e he killed Buckwheat?
Oh, y es. Definitely. That's all he talked about.
I remember one day, I says, "Stutts, why are you working so hard?"
H e says, "I'm saving up to buy a gun so I can kill Buckwheat."
John was a quiet boy... a kind of a loner...
but real polite.
H e always stood still when I hemmed his cuffs. N ice kid.
Koppel: Do you belie v e he killed Buckwheat?
Oh, y es. Definitely. That's all he e v er talked about.
Just the other day, he comes in and he says,
"Sol, make me a new suit.
I'm gonna kill Buckwheat and I want to look good on tele vision."
(announcer speaks)
...brought to you by...
We hav e just learned that John David Stutts
has been arraigned and is being returned to his jail cell.
Let's go there right now, liv e.
Stutts: The reporters are back. H ello.
It's good to s ee e v eryone came back. H ello. Good to s ee you all.
- H ello. - Man: Stutts!
(gunshots popping, s creams)
Stutts: Ouch! I'm shot!
There you hav e it... John David Stutts,
accus ed assassin of Buckwheat, has been shot
right here before your e y es.
(announcer speaks)
...brought to you liv e by...
For thos e of you who miss ed it, John David Stutts,
accus ed killer of Buckwheat, has been shot, liv e on this program.
Now, let's take another look.
It's good to s ee e v eryone came back. H ello. It's good to s ee you all.
Koppel: Coming through... the shots come up...
- (gunshots popping) ...there the y are, right there...
Stutts: Ouch! I'm shot!
I'v e just been told that John David Stutts is dead.
(announcer speaks)
...has been brought to you liv e by...
John David Stutts lies dead.
How did he die? Let's take a look.
- Stutts: H ello. - Man: Stutts!
- (gunshots popping) - Koppel: There's the shots.
Stutts: I'm shot!
And so, two famous men lie dead... Buckwheat, and John David Stutts.
We'll be here tomorrow night and e v ery night
for as long as this s ens eless killing continues.
This is Ted Koppel. Good night.
Velv et Jones: Who among us has not dreamed of faraway places
and intertwined lov ers?
H i. I'm Velv et Jones.
(loud cheering, applaus e)
And if you lov e lov e as I do,
I know you will want to buy my latest
"Velv et Jones' Harlequin Romance" book.
There are many exquisite titles to choos e from, such as...
"Velv et Lov e." Listen...
"When she touched her lips to the glass,
LaWanda's heart beat inside her.
I knew from that v ery first moment
that the $3 I had spent on wine would not go to waste."
Wasn't that romantic?
But wait... there's more.
Allow me to read from one of my personal favorites.
"I saw her standing at the gates of the Lincoln Tunnel."
Dare I approach her? My heart pounded inside my chest.
I felt a burning in my loins I had ne v er felt before.
Thus, I realized I had been... 'Kicked in the Butt by Lov e."'
Endless e v enings of romance can all be yours... if you order now.
(announcer speaks)
"Who wrote the book of lov e?" Velv et. It's as simple as that.
(playing gospel-blues melody)
H e y, Pudge! H e y, Pudge!
Somebody's gonna pay for this mess!
Somebody's paying for this! Look at me!
Look at all this mess on me! Somebody's paying for this!
- What are you talking about? - Somebody tried to run me down!
Somebody gonna run me down out there!
- What do you got on your suit? - There's mud all ov er my clothes!
- Aw, man... - Look at this mess all ov er me!
You look pretty funny, man. (laughs)
That's v ery funny... "Ha, ha, I'm laughing."
- What are you wearing a suit for? - This is my spe cial birthday suit.
Ah, y eah...
I walk in, and somebody gonna splash mud all ov er me.
I got $20 in my pocket. I was going to find me a woman.
You had one birthday too many, man.
You got the equipment, but your battery is dead.
- What you say? - Your battery's dead.
My battery's dead? How would you like to jump-start it?
H ear what I said? "Jump-start my battery."
Just don't call me on a cold morning, man.
Don't call you on a cold morning to jump-start my battery?
Man, I'll tell you... I'v e been doing it e v er since I was 12.
- 12 y ears old? - No, 12 inches.
H ear what I said? I'm a crazy nut, man.
Yeah, you crazy if you think I belie v e that.
You crazy, man. You know what you is?
A nut-brain.
H e y, play me a little birthday song.
- "Li'I bird-day song." - Play me a little birthday song.
(plays boogie-woogie riff) There you go. Happy Birthday...
That ain't no birthday... that's the same old mess you play
e v ery time I come inside here. That's fake.
Pardon me, I'm looking...
for an old man.
H e's not a Caucasian man.
H e's an old man, and...
Can I help you, Miss?
I am looking for an old colored gentleman.
There, it's out.
You'v e come to the right place. H ear what I said, Bobby?
- Yeah. - Crazy...
That suit... I'm so sorry, it's all cov ered with mud.
I'm walking down the street fiv e minutes ago,
and some fool gonna driv e by...
splashing water all ov er e v erybody in sight! Crazy fool.
Well, I assure you, it was inadv ertent.
I do not go around splashing people.
You the one what splashed me with the mud?
- I stand guilty... - What's wrong with you?
It's a 30-mile zone, and you're doing 35 miles an hour.
I assure you, I was not speeding.
I am a law-abiding citizen, and I must tell you,
if you'll just hear me out, I'm here to make restitution.
Well, it's down the hallway and to the right.
H ear what I said? "Restitution's" down the hallway, make a right."
I assure you, I can take a joke as well as anyone.
I'd like to pay for my mistake.
What is your name, Mister...?
My name is Solomon, but look here...
This is my friend, Pudgie. This is Pudge. This is Miss Lady.
How do you do...?
This is Pudge. H e's full of "restitution."
- H ear what I said? - Yes, I did.
H e's a "restitution-brain."
How do you do? How do you do, "Poodge"?
And Mr. Solomon, how much would it cost to clean your suit?
The pants are gonna cost extra 'caus e he's got 12 inches.
H e y, shut up, man. You can't be telling that woman that, man.
That's my personal business. Fool-face...
You're driving a v ery hard bargain,
but I'll pay for the entire suit. What could it possibly cost?
$30 or $40, I suppos e?
Look, Miss, you don't hav e enough mone y to pay for this.
This is my spe cial suit. This is my "Happy Birthday" suit.
That's Solomon's birthday suit, lady.
- It's your birthday? - Yeah.
- Then you must take some mone y. - No, I do not "must" take nothing.
Well, v ery well. Very well, then.
Let me buy you a cocktail... for your birthday.
Well... go on, buy me a "cocktail for my birthday."
Well, grand. We'd like to order drinks.
I'm going to hav e a white wine spritzer.
And whate v er thes e gentlemen are having.
No beer, giv e us a "white wine spritzer" also.
Allow me to fetch the drinks.
"White wine spritzer"? That woman is a "gerbil-mind."
H ear what I said? "Gerbil-mind."
- She's crazy, right? - She's crazy, man.
All right. A little birthday music.
Oh, I think that's absolutely in order. A birthday song.
I'd like to sing one that my father sang for me
on my birthdays when I was a child.
Mr. Poodge, it's in the ke y of "C."
(strikes note)
And I'd like to dedicate this to you, Mr. Solomon.
Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride...
I think you're going to enjoy this... it is in a N egro spiritual v ein.
One, two, three...
Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride
U m-hmm, um-hmm
Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride
U m-hmm, um-hmm
Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride
H e took Miss Mousie for his bride
U m-hmm, um-hmm, um-hmm.
I don't know what kind of v eins them N egroes had.
H it it, Pudge. In the ke y of "C."
Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride
U m-hmm, um-hmm
Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride
U m-hmm, um-hmm...
H ere's another one. Ahem... (tunelessly)
A boy is born in hard-time Mississippi
Surrounded by four walls that ain't so pretty
H is parents giv e him lov e and affe ction
Keeping him strong... moving just enough for the city!
Yeah, y eah y eah.
That's the worst Ste vie Wonder impression I'v e e v er s een.
(nerdishly) What's the matter with it?
I can funk.
(audience laughter, cheering)
I can funk.
I can funk.
But what you're doing is ridiculous. I know Ste vie Wonder, man.
You hav e to mellow out when you do Ste vie.
You're too tens e, Loos en up. The s e cret to doing Ste vie Wonder...
(audience cheers)
You gotta smile a lot, like this. You s ee? You gotta smile.
You mean, like this? Like this?
That's almost it. You ain't really got it y et.
You got to mov e your ne ck around. Ste vie mov es his ne ck.
Mov e your ne ck like somebody's choking you.
Like that, s ee?
If you don't like my show, I'm gonna choke you.
Is this how he does it, like this?
Kinda. Not really. Then you gotta loos en up,
You gotta mov e your hands, you gotta go like...
- listen to me. Watch this. - Okay.
My cherie amour, lov ely as a summer day...
(harshly) My cherie...
- Try that. - My cherie amour...
No, no, no. Better, with more feeling.
- My cherie amour... - You don't e v en know the words.
Lov ely as a sum-mer-rr day-yy...
Listen to me. Listen... My cherie amour
Distant as the Milky Way... Try that.
(audience cheering)
My cherie amour
Pretty little one that I adore
You're the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine!
(loud cheering, applaus e)
It still sucks, man.
No, no! Richie, that was Ste vie Wonder!
I was standing here. H e be came Ste vie Wonder!
But I'm not married to this guy. I got another fella...
you would swear... he is Smoke y Robinson.
SLC Punk
SNL Best Of Eddie Murphy 1998
S Diary 2004
Saathiya CD1
Saathiya CD2
Saaya CD1
Saaya CD2
Sahara (1943)
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep1
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep2
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep3
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep4
Sahara (with Michael Palin) video diary bonus
Sahara interview with Michael Palin
Saint Clara
Salaam Bombay CD1
Salaam Bombay CD2
Salaam Cinema 1995
Salems Lot 2004 CD1
Salems Lot 2004 CD2
Salesman - Albert and David Maysles (1969)
Salo Or The 120 Days Of Sodom
Salton Sea The
Salvador (1986)
Salvatore Giuliano (Francesco Rosi 1961) CD1
Salvatore Giuliano (Francesco Rosi 1961) CD2
Samourai Le
Samsara 1991 CD1
Samsara 1991 CD2
Samurai - Miyamoto Musashi - 03 - Duel at Ganryu Island
Samurai 2 (1955)
Samurai 3 - Duel At Ganryu Island 1956
Samurai Assassin 1965
Samurai Fiction
Sanbiki No Samurai 1964
Sand Pebbles The CD1
Sand Pebbles The CD2
Sands of Iwo Jima
Sanjuro (1962)
Santa Claus 2
Sante Trap The
Saragossa Manuscript The (1965) CD1
Saragossa Manuscript The (1965) CD2
Satans Brew 1976
Saturday Night Fever CD1
Saturday Night Fever CD2
Satyajit Ray - Apu Trilogy 2 Aparajito (1957)
Sauvage Innocence 2001 CD1
Sauvage Innocence 2001 CD2
Savage Innocents The 1959
Savage The (2003)
Save The Green Planet (2003) CD1
Save The Green Planet (2003) CD2
Saved 2004
Saving Private Ryan CD1
Saving Private Ryan CD2
Saving Private Ryan CD3
Saving Silverman (R Rated Version)
Saw 2004
Say It Isnt So 2001
Scalphunters The (1968)
Scanners 1981 CD1
Scanners 1981 CD2
Scar The (1976) CD1
Scar The (1976) CD2
Scaramouche CD1
Scaramouche CD2
Scarecrow - (Kakashi) 25fps 2001
Scarlet Diva
Scarlet Empress The (1934)
Scarlet Empress The - Criterion Collection
Scary Movie
Scary Movie 2
Scene At The Sea A (Japanese)
Scenes From A Marriage (1973) CD1
Scenes From A Marriage (1973) CD2
Scenes from a Marriage CD1
Scenes from a Marriage CD2
Scenes from a Marriage CD3
Scenes from a Marriage CD4
Scenes from a Marriage CD5
Scenes from a Marriage CD6
Schippers van de Kameleon CD1
Schippers van de Kameleon CD2
School Of Flesh The
School of Rock
Schussangst (2003)
Science Fiction
Scooby-Doo - A Gaggle of Galloping Ghosts
Scooby-Doo - Thats Snow Ghost
Scooby-Doo - The Headless Horseman of Halloween
Scooby-Doo - Vampires Cats and Scaredy Cats
Scooby-Doo - Which Witch is Which
Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed
Scooby-Doo and the Legend of the Vampire
Scooby Doo Project The
Score The
Scorpion King The
Scream 3 CD1
Scream 3 CD2
Scrooged (1988)
Second Nature
Secondhand Lion
Seconds (1966)
Secret Admirer
Secret Agents 2004
Secret Agents Into the Heart of the CIA
Secret Ballot 2001
Secret Lives of Dentist The
Secret Tears
Secret Window 2004
Secret life of Walter Mitty The (1947)
Secret of My Success 1987 CD1
Secret of My Success 1987 CD2
Secret of the Ooze The
Secret of the Sword
Secretary (2002)
Secrets of Women
Seducing doctor Lewis
See Spot Run
See no Evil Hear no Evil
Seinfeld Chronicles The
Sense and Sensibility (1995)
Sentinel The
Seppuku (aka Harakiri) CD1
Seppuku (aka Harakiri) CD2
Serpents Egg The
Serving Sara
Setup The (Robert Wise 1949)
Seven (1995) CD1
Seven (1995) CD2
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Seven Days in May (1963)
Seven Samurai (1956)
Seven Year Itch The
Seven Years in Tibet CD1
Seven Years in Tibet CD2
Seventh Seal The - Criterion Collection
Seventh Sign The
Sex Is Comedy
Sex Lies And Videotape CD1
Sex Lies And Videotape CD2
Sex and Lucia (Unrated Spanish Edition)
Sex and Zen
Sex and the City 3x13 - Escape From New York
Sex and the City 3x14 - Sex And Another City
Sex and the City 3x15 - Hot Child in the City
Sex and the City 3x16 - Frenemies
Sex and the City 3x17 - What Goes Around Comes Around
Sex and the City 3x18 - Cock A Doodle Do
Sex is zero
Sex lives of the potato men
Sexo Con Amor 2003
Sexy Beast
Sexy Beast 2000
Seytan 1974
Shadow The Universal
Shadow of a Doubt
Shadow of the Vampire
Shadows In Paradise
Shadows and Fog
Shaft 1971
Shakespeare In Love
Shall We Dance
Shallow Grave
Shallow Hal
Shane CD1
Shane CD2
Shanghai Knights CD1
Shanghai Knights CD2
Shanghai Triad
Shaolin Soccer UnCut (2001) CD1
Shaolin Soccer UnCut (2001) CD2
Shaolin Temple CD1
Shaolin Temple CD2
Shaolin Temple The 1979
Shape Of Things The
Shark Tale CD1
Shark Tale CD2
Sharp Guns (2001)
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
She Creature
Shelter Island 2003
Sherlock Holmes - Hound of the Baskervilles
Sherlock Holmes - The Eligible Bachelor
Sherlock Holmes - The Last Vampyre
Sherlock Holmes - The Master Blackmailer
Sherlock Holmes - The Pearl Of Death 1944
Sherlock Holmes - The Sign of Four
Sherlock Holmes 1x01 - A Scandal In Bohemia
Sherlock Holmes 1x02 - The Dancing Men
Sherlock Holmes 1x03 - The Naval Treaty
Sherlock Holmes 1x04 - The Solitary Cyclist
Sherlock Holmes 1x05 - The Crooked Man
Sherlock Holmes 1x06 - The Speckled Band
Sherlock Holmes 1x07 - The Blue Carbuncle
Sherlock Holmes 1x08 - The Copper Beeches
Sherlock Holmes 1x09 - The Greek Interpreter
Sherlock Holmes 1x10 - The Norwood Builder
Sherlock Holmes 1x11 - The Resident Patient
Sherlock Holmes 1x12 - The Red Headed League
Sherlock Holmes 1x13 - The Final Problem
Sherlock Holmes And The House Of Fear 1945
Sherlock Holmes And The Spider Woman 1944
Sherlock Holmes And The Voice Of Terror 1942
Sherlock Holmes Faces Death 1943
Sherlock Holmes Returns
Sherlock Holmes The Eligible Bachelor
Sherlock Holmes The Scarlet Claw 1944
Sherlock Holmes in Washington 1943
Shes All That
Shes So Lovely
Shes out of control
Shes the One
Shield The 2x01 - The Quick Fix
Shield The 2x02 - Dead Soldiers
Shield The 2x03 - Partners
Shield The 2x04 - Carte Blanche
Shijushichinin No Shikaku (1994 aka 47 Ronin)
Shiki-Jitsu (Hideaki Anno 2000)
Shin Zatoichi monogatari (1963)
Shine (1996)
Shinjuku - Triad Society (Takashi Miike 1995) CD1
Shinjuku - Triad Society (Takashi Miike 1995) CD2
Shinning The
Ship of Fools CD1 (Stanley Kramer 1965)
Ship of Fools CD2 (Stanley Kramer 1965)
Shiryour gari
Shiver Of The Vampires The
Shocking Asia CD1
Shocking Asia CD2
Shogun 1980 Part 1
Shogun 1980 Part 2
Shogun 1980 Part 3
Shogun 1980 Part 4
Shogun 1980 Part 5 and 6
Shogun 1980 Part 7 and 8
Shogun 1980 Part 9 and 10
Shop Around The Corner The 1940
Short Circuit 2
Short Cuts CD1
Short Cuts CD2
Short Film About Killing A (1988)
Short Film About Love A (1988)
Short Film About Love A 1988
Shot In The Dark A
Show Me Love
Show Time
Shredder (Greg Huson 2003)
Shree 420
Shrek 2
Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th
Shuang tong (2002)
Shutter (2004)
Sib - The Apple
Sibiriada CD1
Sibiriada CD2
Sibling Rivalry
Siburay Bate Cafe
Sicilian The 1987 CD1
Sicilian The 1987 CD2
Siege The (1998)
Siegfried I
Siegfried II
Siegfried III
Silence of the Lambs The
Silencers The (Phil Karlson 1966)
Silent Trigger 1996
Silent Warnings
Silk Stockings
Silmido CD1
Silmido CD2
Silver City
Silver Hawk
Silver Streak 1976
Simon and Garfunkel - The Concert in Central Park
Simon of the Desert
Simone CD1
Simone CD2
Simpsons 01x01 - Simpsons Roasting Over An Open Fire
Simpsons 01x02 - Bart The Genius
Simpsons 01x03 - Homers Odyssey
Simpsons 01x04 - Theres No Disgrace Like Home
Simpsons 01x05 - Bart the General
Simpsons 01x06 - Moaning Lisa
Simpsons 01x07 - The Call of the Simpsons
Simpsons 01x08 - The Telltale Head
Simpsons 01x09 - Life on the Fast Lane
Simpsons 01x10 - Homers Night Out
Simpsons 01x11 - The Crepes Of Wrath
Simpsons 01x12 - Krusty Gets Busted
Simpsons 01x13 - Some Enchanted Evening
Simpsons The
Simpsons The 05x01 - Homers Barbershop Quartet
Simpsons The 05x02 - Cape Feare
Simpsons The 05x03 - Homer Goes To College
Simpsons The 05x04 - Rosebud
Simpsons The 05x05 - Tree House Of Horror
Simpsons The 05x06 - Marge On The Lam
Simpsons The 05x07 - Barts Inner Child
Simpsons The 05x08 - Boy Scoutz N The Hood
Simpsons The 05x09 - The Last-Temptation Of Homer
Simpsons The 05x10 - $pringfield
Simpsons The 05x11 - Homer The Vigilante
Simpsons The 05x12 - Bart Gets Famous
Simpsons The 05x13 - Homer And Apu
Simpsons The 05x14 - Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy
Simpsons The 05x15 - Deep Space Homer
Simpsons The 05x16 - Homer Loves Flanders
Simpsons The 05x17 - Bart Gets An Elephant
Simpsons The 05x18 - Burns Heir
Simpsons The 05x19 - Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song
Simpsons The 05x20 - The Boy Who Knew Too Much
Simpsons The 05x21 - Lady Bouviers Lover
Simpsons The 05x22 - Secrets Of A Successful Marriage
Sin 2003
Sin noticias de Dios
Sinbad - Legend Of The Seven Seas
Since Otar Left 2003
Since You Went Away CD1
Since You Went Away CD2
Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine
Singin in the Rain
Singing Detective The
Singles (2003) CD1
Singles (2003) CD2
Sink The Bismarck
Sinnui yauman
Sinnui yauman II
Sirens 1994
Sirocco 1951
Sissi 1955
Sister Act
Sister Act 2 - Back in the Habit CD1
Sister Act 2 - Back in the Habit CD2
Six Days Seven Nights
Six Degrees of Separation (1993)
Six Feet Under
Six String Samurai
Six Strong Guys (2004)
Sixteen Candles CD1
Sixteen Candles CD2
Sixth Sense The
Skammen (Shame Bergman 1968)
Skazka o tsare Saltane
Skulls The
Skulls The (Collectors Edition)
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Slap Shot
Slap Shot 2
Slaughterhouse Five
Sleeper 1973
Sleepers (1996) CD1
Sleepers (1996) CD2
Sleepless in Seattle
Sleepwalkers 1992
Sleepy Hollow 1999
Sleuth (Mankiewicz 1972) CD1
Sleuth (Mankiewicz 1972) CD2
Sliding Doors 1992
Sling Blade CD1
Sling Blade CD2
Small Change (FranÇois Truffaut 1976)
Small Time Crooks 2000
Smell of Fear The
Smokey and the Bandit
Smoking Room
Snake Of June A (2002)
Snake Pit The
Snatch - Special Edition
Sneakers 1992
Sniper 2
Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs 1937
Snowfever (2004)
So Close 2002
Sobibor 14 Octobre 1943
Sol Goode
Solaris (Solyaris)
Solaris (Tarkovsky) CD1
Solaris (Tarkovsky) CD2
Solaris - Criterion Collection
Solaris 2002
Solaris 2002 - Behind the Planet
Solaris 2002 Inside
Soldaat Van Oranje 1977 CD1
Soldaat Van Oranje 1977 CD2
Soldier CD1
Soldier CD2
Soldiers Story A (Norman Jewison 1984)
Solomon and Sheba CD1
Solomon and Sheba CD2
Sombre 25fps 1998
Some Kind of Monster CD1
Some Kind of Monster CD2
Someone Special
Something The Lord Made CD1
Something The Lord Made CD2
Somethings Gotta Give CD1
Somethings Gotta Give CD2
Son In Law
Son The
Song of the South
Sophies Choice
Sorority boys
Sose me
Soul Guardians The (1998) CD1
Soul Guardians The (1998) CD2
Soul Keeper The (2003)
Soul Plane
Soul Survivors
Sound of Music The
South Park - Bigger Longer and Uncut
South Park 01x01 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe
South Park 01x02 - Weight Gain 4000
South Park 01x03 - Volcano
South Park 01x04 - Big Gay Als Big Gay Boatride
South Park 01x05 - An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
South Park 01x06 - Death
South Park 01x07 - Pinkeye
South Park 01x08 - Jesus VS Satan
South Park 01x09 - Starvin Marvin
South Park 01x10 - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo
South Park 01x11 - Toms Rhinoplasty
South Park 01x12 - Mecha Striesand
South Park 01x13 - Cartmans Mom is a Dirty Slut
Soylent Green 1973
Spacehunter 1983
Spanish Prisoner The CD1
Spanish Prisoner The CD2
Spark the Lighter
Spartacus 2004 CD1
Spartacus 2004 CD2
Spartacus Fixed 1960
Spartan 2004 CD1
Spartan 2004 CD2
Spawn (1997)
Spawn (Directors Cut)
Species 3 CD1
Species 3 CD2
Speed 2 - Cruise Control
Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945)
Spetters 1980
Spider-Man CD1
Spider-Man CD2
Spider (2002)
Spider Man 2 CD1
Spider Man 2 CD2
Spies Like Us 1985
Spirit of the Beehive
Spirited Away CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2
Spoilers The
Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
Springtime In A Small Town
Spun (Unrated Version)
Spy Game
Spy Hard
Spy Who Came In from the Cold The
Spy Who Loved Me The
Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series
Spygirl CD1
Spygirl CD2
Square Peg
St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001
Stage Beauty 2004
Stage Fright 1950
Stalag 17
Stalker 1979 CD1
Stalker 1979 CD2
Star Trek Generations CD1
Star Trek Generations CD2
Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones
Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2
Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods
Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within
Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation
Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide
Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strada La
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Style Wars
Suicide Regimen
Sukces 2003
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swept Away
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)