South Park 01x03 - Volcano
Volcano
Now, you be careful, Eric.
The woods can be very dangerous.
Okay, Mom.
- Ready to go hunting?
- My Uncle Jimbo says we gotta go early.
Right. Animals are easier
to shoot in the morning.
Here, hon. I packed you Cheesy Poofs
and Happy Tarts.
Don't worry, we'll take care of him.
I brought my war buddy, Ned,
to keep things safe.
Hello, Mrs. Cartman.
How are you today?
Use lots of bug spray...
...and if you have to poo-poo,
don't wipe with poison ivy.
That's sick!
It can get scary up
in those woods...
...but just remember,
Mommy's not far away.
- Drive! Drive!
- You give your mommy a kissy.
Drive the car, damn it! Drive!
- Don't get scared, Cartman.
- Shut up! I'm not scared of nothing!
Maybe your mom can give me
a kiss too.
That's disgusting!
- You piece of crap, I'll kill you!
- That's the spirit!
Let's get that testosterone flowing.
Boys, I need to get serious
for a minute.
I want you to understand
a few basic rules of hunting.
Don't ever walk with your gun
unless the safety's on.
Don't shoot anything human.
Never spill your beer
in the bullet chamber.
- Uncle Jimbo, we don't drink beer.
- What?!
That's right, I don't think
8-year-old kids drink beer.
Chocolate milk!
We'll be drinking plenty
on this trip.
After all, hunting sober
is like fishing sober.
It will be nice to get out of the city
for a while, away from civilization.
Here we are.
Okay, each of you young'uns take
a gun, a beer and some smokes.
Hey, I didn't get a gun!
Sweet. This is like the gun
I used in Nam.
- You weren't in Vietnam!
- Were you stationed in Da Nang?
He makes stuff up.
Don't believe him.
I'll blow your frigging head off!
Look out, son, that's dangerous!
You'll spill your beer.
After this, my uncle will
take me hunting in Africa.
Wow, that'd be cool!
My mom says there's a lot
of black people in Africa.
Look there.
That's a Rocky Mountain black bear.
One of the few remaining of its kind.
Isn't it beautiful?
My God, it's coming right for us!
It wasn't coming for us.
It was just sitting!
Not so loud.
Now, that's just a technicality.
- What do you mean?
- See...
...the Democrats have passed laws
trying to stop hunting.
Democrats piss me off!
They say we can't shoot certain animals
unless they pose a threat.
So before we shoot, we have to say,
"It's coming right for us!"
You're smart, Uncle Jimbo.
- Jimbo, look.
- Oh, it's a deer.
Looks like about a.46-gauge, Ned.
It's coming right for us!
Kick ass!
Did you see that? I was imperiled
by that ferocious charging buck.
Rabbit! Rabbit, 5:00.
Let's move! Move!
- Is this hunting?
- I guess so.
- Dude, I'm starting to have flashbacks.
- What?
Stand forth! Pull up flank!
Look out for Charlies in trees!
This one's yours, Stan.
- It's coming right for us!
- It's coming right for us.
- Shoot it, Stan!
- I got your back, soldier.
I can't.
- What's wrong with you?
- I don't wanna shoot it.
What are you talking about?
You're not making any sense!
- You're hysterical!
- I just don't wanna shoot it.
My nephew's a tree-hugger?!
Hippie! Go back to Woodstock
if you can't shoot.
- I can shoot you!
- I can shoot you too!
- I'll kill you!
- I'll fill you full of lead!
Hey, what's that?
What the heck is this?
Yeah, Frank? It's Randy.
Good. Yeah, listen,
the little needle's moving.
It's going back and forth really fast.
What's that mean?
Let me check.
Yeah, it's smoking.
Oh, really?
Really?
Oh, my God! A volcano!
- My weenies won't cook.
- This wood won't burn.
Looks like we'll have to use
the old Indian fire trick.
Stop, drop and roll, Ned!
Goddamn it, I just got that van!
How are we supposed to get home?
It hurts, it hurts!
You guys, this works
pretty good right now.
Mr. Mayor, you can't stop serving
Salisbury steak in our public schools.
What's next, meatloaf?
We are aware
of your concerns, Chef, but...
- The geologist is here to see you.
- My geologist? Now?
The infection's fine.
I don't need a checkup.
No, that's a gynecologist.
A geologist studies the earth.
I know that.
How dare you insult my intellect!
I went to Princeton!
You get out of my office!
I'm not in your office.
I'm talking to you through a speaker.
- Just send in the geometrist!
- Geologist.
- You are fired, buddy!
- It's been great working for you.
Mayor, we've got a very big problem.
Mt. Evanson is about to erupt.
What does this mean to the town?
This graph shows everything
from normal to bad.
Right now, South Park is here.
- My God!
- Mayor, some of the school children...
...are up camping
on that mountain now!
This is big!
Johnson! Johnson, are you there?
You fired Johnson.
I'm his replacement, Ted.
Ted, we've got a major crisis here.
I want you to call Inside Edition,
Rescue 91 1 and Entertainment Tonight.
You'd better get my stylist too.
Don't worry, things are under control.
And then, Ned picked up the grenade
and boom! Blasted his arm clear off!
We spent hours looking for that arm,
but it was never found.
Some say it's still crawling around
to this day.
- Gotcha!
- That's not scary.
- You were scared. You almost peed.
- Shut up! I didn't pee!
Ned, hand me that gin.
- You boys wanna tie one on?
- No, that stuff tastes like pee.
- Cartman's pee.
- You would taste my pee!
What's wrong with you?
Can't you have a little alcohol?
Christ, look at that little bastard go!
You see that, Stan?
Now, that is a dirty little bastard.
I'm a dirty little bastard too.
You guys, I know a scary story.
- Shut up. You can't scare anybody.
- Oh, yeah?
- Have you guys heard of Skuzzlebutt?
- What butt?
Skuzzlebutt is a creature that lives
up on this very mountain...
...and kills anybody
who climbs to the top.
- Why?
- Because it loves the taste of blood...
...and likes to add pieces
to its deformed body.
Deformed how?
On his left arm,
instead of a hand, he has...
- A hook!
- A knife!
No, a piece of celery.
Yes, and he walks with a limp.
One of his legs is missing.
And where his leg should be...
...there's nothing but Patrick Duffy.
Patrick Duffy?!
Damn it, that's not scary!
What do you mean?
Have you seen Step by Step?
He lives alone on this mountain
and weaves baskets and other crafts.
They say that on quiet nights,
you can hear him weaving his baskets.
- You suck at telling scary stories!
- Give me that flashlight.
- What is that?
- Maybe it's Skuzzlebutt coming for us.
It might be.
I hope he doesn't cut me
with his celery.
Screw you guys! Go to hell!
Ned, why don't you whip out the old
cancer kazoo? Let's do a little song.
They don't think Skuzzlebutt's scary?
Let's see how they like it
when they see Skuzzlebutt!
I'll scare them tomorrow.
- Stan. Stan, wake up!
- What, dude?
I think something took Cartman away.
- Where's my uncle and Ned?
- Fishing with Kenny.
Kenny? But this is supposed
to be my camping trip.
Why do they like Kenny so much?
Doesn't he like me?
- Stan, you wanna know what I think?
- What?
What a beautiful morning for fishing.
There's a fish!
Got it.
Great instincts.
Uncle Jimbo, Cartman's missing!
- Who? The fat kid?
- Yeah.
Oh, hell.
I guess we better go look for him.
Ned, we gotta cut it short.
Fire out the 1 2-20!
That's about the limit
for our fishing permit.
Oh, man, it smells
like dead fish here.
Oh, man, that is nasty.
I've never seen a kid
as cool as you, Kenny.
I'm making you my honorary nephew.
People of South Park
are humble and friendly.
But now, hot lava will engulf them...
...and end their miserable lives with
excruciatingly painful, burning agony.
Hey, I'm on TV! I'm on TV!
What are you doing to prepare
for this catastrophe?
All we know right now
is that some of our children...
...are camping on that mountain and...
I'm sorry, can I start over?
You can edit this, right?
Ready? Three, two, one.
All we know right now...
...is some of our children
are camping on that mountain.
We can't do anything
until we get them!
Okay, people, let's go get those kids!
Everybody, you gotta help
the children!
He couldn't have gone far,
unless something drug him off.
There's not many animals
out today, Jimbo.
Yeah, it's almost like
something funny's going on.
- Ned, what'd you have for breakfast?
- I don't know. I've got some bad gas.
Wait, there's a ram!
It's coming right for us!
Nice shooting, Kenny!
- Here, you need a bigger gun.
- Look!
I am Skuzzlebutt,
lord of the mountains!
Behold my Patrick Duffy leg!
- What is it?
- Skuzzlebutt! Cartman wasn't lying.
We can make a mint killing this thing.
We'll be on the cover
of Guns & Ammo.
This calls for some HJ-1 4.
Those guys are totally scared.
Fire in the hole!
Holy crap!
- Damn, I think I missed.
- What is wrong with you people?!
- Come on, let's move! Move!
- Wait, wait!
Is it on? Okay.
People, form groups
and search the mountain.
Report back here every hour,
you got that?
- Mayor, I might have an idea.
- What?
If we can dig a large trench,
we can divert the lava into a canyon.
Then it would bypass
South Park completely.
- That would be good, right?
- I'm pretty sure.
What are we waiting for?
Okay, people, change of plans.
Half of you, grab shovels.
These look like his tracks.
Ned, prepare some HK-1 2
and some Plasticine.
I'll bet that sucker's headed
for a higher elevation... Bird!
It can breathe better higher up.
Look, up there!
You guys, it's just me!
- We sure it's Skuzzlebutt?
- Is there a Patrick Duffy leg?
I can't tell. Kill it!
I gotta get out
of this stupid costume!
- Kenny, you take the front.
- No, I can do it.
- I wanna bag that animal!
- That's the spirit! Let's hunt!
Guys, I was just kidding!
As some people try to save their town,
others look for the missing people.
But all must take every precaution.
People, listen up.
As we near the top of the mountain...
...the chances of our encountering
some lava becomes great.
I have special-ordered this training
film to assist us in volcano safety.
Mr. Garrison, if you would, please.
Natural disasters can be the cause...
...of troubling and undesirable stress.
A volcano is no exception.
What should you do if a volcano
erupts near you or your family?
Here, we see the Stevens on a picnic.
Suddenly, daughter hears a noise.
It's a volcano.
Junior seems worried.
But have no fear...
...Jane learned in school what to do
when a volcano erupts.
That's right, Jane. Duck and cover.
So, what will you do when you hear
a volcano erupting?
That's right, duck and cover.
Looks like you got the idea.
Duck and cover.
Thank you, and goodbye.
Okay, any questions?
That has got to be the most ridiculous
load of pig crap I have ever seen!
That's enough!
I'll bag Skuzzlebutt,
then we'll see who's a little bastard.
Seriously, you guys!
Kill it. Kill it!
Come on, kill it!
- Goddamn it, I can't do it!
- You pansy! Give me that gun!
- Goddamn it, don't shoot me!
- What the sam hill?
I was trying to scare you.
You can put the gun down now!
So much for the cover
of Guns & Ammo.
But I think we've learned
some important lessons. I think...
- Holy crap!
- The mountain, it's blown its top!
Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
- Look, the volcano!
- Quick! Duck and cover!
That lava's coming right for us!
Oh, no, look!
What is this trench doing here?!
We can't get across!
The missing children are trapped
in the path of hot, nasty lava.
God, please deliver
those darling kids from...
Wait, wait, wait!
Three, two and one.
God, please deliver...
Help!
Jiminy! It's the real Skuzzlebutt!
- What? Skuzzlebutt's real?
- Oh, my God, look at his leg!
Hi, kids, I'm TV's Patrick Duffy.
Quick, Ned, shoot it!
Oh, no, out of ammo!
- What is that thing?
- That's Skuzzlebutt!
He has Patrick Duffy for a leg
and weaves baskets.
This isn't happening. Everyone
look away. Nothing to see here.
Well, boys, I'm sorry
I got you all killed.
He built a wicker basket!
He's saving us!
- Skuzzlebutt saved the day!
- And my calculations worked.
The lava's following the trench
into the canyon.
Where exactly does the canyon go?
South Park is saved!
Hey, look, Kenny's okay!
Now these humble people can rejoice and
celebrate their victory over nature.
I'm getting word that
the school's chef...
...wants to sing a song
about this struggle of humanity.
What do you have
to say about this outcome?
Well, we owe everything to this
friendly yet misunderstood creature.
- Thank you, Skuzzlebutt.
- Friend.
Oh, how sweet!
I did it! I killed something!
- What has he done?
- Turn off the cameras!
That was easy.
No! Why, God, why?!
You shouldn't have done that!
- Why?
- Make up your mind, dude.
Some things you kill,
some things you don't, see?
- No.
- Only now in this late hour...
...do I see the folly of guns.
I'll never use a gun again.
I wanted you to be proud
of me, like Kenny.
But Kenny's dead now.
You're always gonna be my nephew.
You just can't kill anything.
- You understand?
- I don't understand hunting.
- It's stupid. Let's go watch cartoons.
- Yeah, cartoons kick ass.
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Stagecoach Stalag 17 Stalker 1979 CD1 Stalker 1979 CD2 Star Trek Generations CD1 Star Trek Generations CD2 Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1 Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2 Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1 Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2 Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1 Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2 Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper Stargate SG1 2x05 Need Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle Stargate SG1 2x08 Family Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1 Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2 Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell Stargate SG1 2x21 1969 Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction Stargate SG1 4x16 2010 Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires Stargate SG1 5x10 2001 Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1 Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2 Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0 Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II Starship Troopers (Special Edition) Starship Troopers 2 Story Of A Kiss Strada La Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959) Street of shame (Akasen chitai) Streetcar Named Desire A Style Wars Suicide Regimen Sukces 2003 Summer Tale A 2000 Sunday Lunch (2003) Super 8 Stories Superman IV - The Quest for Peace Surviving the Game Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1 Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2 Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version) Swept Away Swordsman III - The East is Red Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951) Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955) Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948) Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948) Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950) Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951) Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)
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