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South Park 01x07 - Pinkeye

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Pink Eye
- Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! - You bastards!
- What the hell is that thing? - A UFO.
There's no such thing as UFOs.
Let's get him to the morgue.
Wait till you see my Halloween costume. It kicks ass.
- Dude, it can't be cooler than mine. - We ought to get our costumes ready.
I think death is least funny when it happens to a child.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
- Marty, you put that on everything. - It makes everything taste so English.
Well, let's let him drain.
So then the necrophiliac says, "If this ain't a cadaver..."
- Goddamn, that little turd bit me. - Me too.
- You look like a pansy. - Shut up, Kyle.
- What are you supposed to be? - Raggedy Andy.
- Why did you dress like Raggedy Andy? - Wendy's Raggedy Ann.
- This way we'll win the contest. - I'll win with this Chewbacca costume.
- First prize is two tons of candy. - Wow, cool.
- Hey, dudes. - What kind of costume is that?
It's a Adolf Hitler costume. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil.
- Where'd you get it? - My mom. It's cool.
- No, it's not cool! - Are you supposed to be Howdy Doody?
- No, I'm Raggedy Andy, fat-ass. - Oh, wow, you look pretty cool.
- Sissy. - I'll kick your ass.
- Look out, Holly Hobbie's pissed off. - Hey, look, Kenny's not dead.
- You forgot to wear a costume. - Couldn't your family afford one?
- Why is your family so poor? - Kenny's family is so poor...
...they had to put their cardboard box up for mortgage.
I said your family had to put a cardboard box up for mortgage, Kenny.
I'm talking to you, Kenny! Achtung!
Poor piece of crap.
- Come on, we're running late! - We always run late, you skank.
- What did you say? - I can't wait to own a fishing tank.
Neither can I.
- Very interesting. - What is it, doc?
Your temperature is 55 degrees. You have no pulse, no heartbeat.
- And your eyes are puffy and sticky. - Oh, no, you mean...
Yeah, I'm afraid the two of you have pinkeye.
I'd give you topical medicine, but I don't want to touch you.
I'm so hungry and all I can think about eating is brains.
Don't touch your eyes. I'll prescribe some antibiotics.
Wait till everyone sees my Chewbacca costume. They're gonna be so jealous.
Everyone came as Chewbacca?
It sure does seem to be a popular costume this year.
- Damn it! - Wendy.
- Hi, Stan. - We were gonna be Raggedy Ann and Andy.
- Yeah. - We were gonna enter the contest.
I know, but then I guess I just realized how stupid we would look.
- You what? - I thought you'd agree... I came as Chewbacca.
- Stan, you look pretty enough to kiss. - Yeah, you want to be my girlfriend?
There, you see? All of a sudden my costume is pretty bad-ass.
- Dressing like Hitler is not bad-ass. - You're jealous.
- Go to Endor, wookiee! - Wookiees don't live on Endor!
My mom's not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.
- What did you say? - Okay, Chewbaccas take your seats.
Since today is Halloween...
...we should learn about the horror writer Jackie Collins.
You see, when Jackie Collins first wrote her novel...
Is there a problem, Kenny?
Let's keep our hands to ourselves, okay?
I'm never gonna win that candy.
- Hello there. Happy Halloween. - Must eat brains.
Oh, God! No! Stop!
I'm gonna make a new costume. I can still win.
Kenny, are you gonna eat your pudding?
No, Eric, go ahead and take my pudding if you'd like.
Why, thank you, Kenny. How nice of you.
Aren't you hungry, Kenny?
- He hasn't moved or said anything. - Hello, children.
Hey, Chef.
- What're you doing dressed like that? - Eating Kenny's pudding.
Hello there. Love the Elvis costume, Chef.
Elvis? I'm Evel Knievel. Why the hell would I dress like Elvis?
Why the hell would you dress like Evel Knievel? I hope you are...
Eric, what do you think you're doing?
He said I could have his pudding. Ask him yourself.
That's right, Principal Victoria. It's okay with me because Eric is cool.
- Where did you get that costume? - My mom made it. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil.
God bless America. You get into my office before anyone else sees you.
I have to show you an educational video.
I don't want to see an educational video.
- You bit my arm! - Kenny's back to normal.
- Watch the video, Eric. - Adolf Hitler was a very naughty man.
So remember, kids, dressing up like Hitler isn't cool.
- Do you have any questions? - Can I see that again, that was cool.
- You must remove that costume. - I can't. I have to win the candy.
Well, how about we make you a new costume? Let's see now...
How about we make you a nice, scary ghost costume?
- I don't want to be a stupid ghost. - And let me just make...
...a few quickie alterations. And there you go, young man.
Looks like they got a touch of that pinkeye that's going around.
- Boo, I'm a ghost. - Oh, man, I feel like a total choad.
That's just because you look like a total choad.
- Hello, children. - Hey, Chef.
- Chef's really scared of ghosts, huh? - Where's Kyle?
- Check this out. - Whoa, dude.
- What is that? - I'm the solar system.
The planets revolve the right way. That candy is mine.
Okay, let's get lined up so the judge...
...can get a look at your stupid costumes.
We have a celebrity judge, the star of Family Ties, Miss Tina Yothers.
- Who? - Dude, I thought she was dead.
Thank you, Miss Yothers. Okay...
The second-place award for best costume goes to...
...Kenny for his Edward James Olmos costume.
And the award for the very best costume goes to...
Wendy, for her Chewbacca costume.
What? But she looks just like everybody else. Up yours, Tina Yothers!
The award for worst costume this year goes to...
...Stan, for his stupid little clown-thing costume.
Let's all point at Stan and laugh, children.
Thanks a lot, you ruined my Halloween.
Relax, you'll feel better once we're trick-or-treating.
I don't wanna trick-or-treat with you.
Let's all gather around and bob for stupid apples.
You go first, Bebe.
Use those mouth muscles like the girls in Beijing.
Wait your turn, Clyde.
Johnson, what the hell's gotten into you?
Get the hell out of here, Johnson. I don't want no goddamn pinkeye.
And the president responded by saying, quote:
"Screw the commie bastards, and screw their space station. "
In other news, a pinkeye epidemic is sweeping South Park.
With a report, a midget in a bikini.
Thanks, Tom. More than half the townspeople...
...have been infected with the virus.
Symptoms include a complete loss of heart functions...
...lung activity and, of course, sticky, puffy eyes.
Pinkeye, my ass. I've seen this before.
Where is Kyle? We don't have all night.
- I bet I get more candy than you. - You crazy? I'm the candy master.
You're the ass master. There's a difference.
I'm not the one who looks like Pippi Longstocking!
My mom's not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.
My mom is not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!
- Hey, dudes. - Make sure we've got everything.
- Flashlight? - Check.
- Pumpkin pails? - Check.
- Taser. - What's that?
For shocking people who give granola.
Yeah, granola pisses me off.
Hey, Kenny.
- You stink! - You still didn't get a costume, Kenny?
Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job...
...or Kenny's dad would be a millionaire.
I said your dad would be a millionaire. Get it? Kenny!
Your family is poor, Kenny. Your family is poor!
I don't like Kenny anymore. He doesn't communicate.
- Hi, guys. - Hi, Wendy.
- How's your barrel full of candy? - I didn't want that sweet stuff.
I gave it away to hungry children in Nairobi.
- You what? Are you insane? - Let's go trick-or-treat.
I don't think so. You've had enough candy.
Stan, I'm awful sorry you got dressed up like Raggedy Andy. Don't be mad.
How could he be mad with such pretty hair?
- Trick-or-treat with yourself. - But, Stan...
No buts, Wendy. I wish you were dead!
- Doctor. - Why, hello, Chef.
- Let me guess, pinkeye, right? - No, doctor. I've seen this before.
- It's the living dead. - What the hell are you talking about?
Dead people getting up and walking around...
...and Tina Yothers in town... Coincidence? I don't think so!
The pinkeye has made you a little delirious.
- Let me give you some topical cream. - Damn it, don't you see?
These people have been zombiefied. They got no feeling. I'll show you.
Mr. Torres was here for a routine checkup, Chef.
Sorry, but my point is, topical cream ain't gonna fix what's wrong here.
There have been a lot of advances in topical creams the last few years.
Who was the first one to come in here sick?
Well, it was the mortician and his assistant at the morgue.
Now, let's form a line. I've got enough topical cream for everybody.
Trick or treat.
Oh, how cute.
- Dude, Kenny. - Oh, my God, call 91 1!
- Call 91 1! - Kenny, she was going to give us candy.
- She had Sweetie Pops. - You owe me a Sweetie Pop, asshole.
- Mayor, we've got a big problem. - Why, Chef, what a surprise.
You're wondering why we're here with a pile of money and no pants on.
- Actually... - Well, I can assure you... has nothing to do with the Japanese mafia.
- Not a thingy-dingy. - I don't give a crap.
- Do something about the living dead. - You mean Tina Yothers?
No! The zombies that have taken over South Park.
Well, Evel Knievel, why don't you jump over them with your rocket cycle?
To hell with you both.
- Well, let's get back to it. - Right.
Trick or treat!
Hope you kids like chocolate peanut butter cream puffies...
Get it off, get it off me!
We'll never get candy if Kenny keeps eating people.
Yeah, that's it, Kenny. You can't trick-or-treat with us anymore.
Oh, God!
Trick or treat.
Hey, they're all dressed up like ghosts too.
One Tootie Bar? You cheap bastards.
Oh, my God! Stop!
Trick or...
Get off my property, you brain-eating zombie bastards.
- Hey, Chef. - Chef, no.
Sorry, I thought you were one of them.
- Can we have some candy now? - What are you doing dressed like that?
- I'm trying to trick-or-treat. - Remind me to whip your ass.
Now get in here before those zombies get you.
- What are you talking about? - Zombies.
South Park is overrun with living dead. Haven't you noticed anything strange?
Kenny keeps eating people's brains.
Don't you see? Kenny's a zombie. Along with everyone else in town.
- That means... - Lf everyone's zombies...
Then there won't be anyone to give us candy.
- You've gotta help us. - I'm working on it.
- Where are we going? - The first people treated...
...were the mortician and his assistant.
We'll get to the bottom of this at the morgue.
That was Kyle.
- I don't know about this. - Yeah, I'm scared.
Remember candy, focus on the candy.
- What are we doing here, Chef? - Just look for anything suspicious.
I found it.
- What? - See, your mom is on the cover.
We told you, dude.
You better let me take that, Kyle.
Hey, Chef. Look.
- I gotta call this hotline number. - Pinkeye.
It's the British kid. He's a little limey zombie now.
Look out, children!
Okay, Chef, dial the hotline number. Chef?
Let's get out of here.
- We got to call that hotline. - Hey, there's a pay phone.
- Call the number, Kyle. - The zombies are coming.
We'll hold them off.
Welcome to the Worcestershire hotline.
For recipes, please press one. For product placement, press two.
If sauce has been used in embalming, press...
Nobody screws up my trick-or-treats and gets away with it.
- Yeah, cool. - Sweet.
This call might be monitored to ensure quality service. How may I help you?
- There's zombies here. - Please hold.
- Finish her, dude, she's a zombie now. - I know, but...
Remember how she dissed you at the costume contest?
Hey, yeah.
You need to make sure you do not just go out...
...and start decapitating zombies left and right. Do you understand?
Okay, then what?
Wendy, I know I wished you were dead.
- But I didn't mean it. - Kill her, Stan.
Kill the original zombie that started the mess.
All the other zombies will turn back to normal.
How the hell do we know who the original zombie is?
You have a choice in Worcestershire sauces. We...
Wait, that thing landed on Kenny and they took him to the mortuary.
I can't.
Oh, my God, I killed Kenny. You bastard!
What happened? Stan?
- Babe, everything's gonna be okay. - They're turning back to normal.
- You did it, children. - Okay, let's go trick-or-treat now.
I'm sorry I dissed you at school like that, Stan.
I wasn't very considerate of your feelings.
I'm sorry I wished you were dead.
Maybe we could actually kiss tonight, Stan.
Gross, Stan. Sick.
Barf is gross.
- Man, I can't believe he's gone. - He was too young to be taken from us.
You're the one who cut him in half.
Let us remember the good times. Kenny would have wanted it that...
I learned something today. Halloween isn't about costumes or candy.
It's about being good, and giving and loving.
No, dude, that's Christmas.
- Then what's Halloween about? - Costumes and candy.
Well, let's go eat that candy.
We can eat at Cartman's and see naughty pictures of his mom.
Knock it off. She was young and needed the money.
Cartman, those pictures were taken, like, last month.
Screw you guys!
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Soylent Green 1973
Spacehunter 1983
Spanish Prisoner The CD1
Spanish Prisoner The CD2
Spark the Lighter
Spartacus 2004 CD1
Spartacus 2004 CD2
Spartacus Fixed 1960
Spartan 2004 CD1
Spartan 2004 CD2
Spawn (1997)
Spawn (Directors Cut)
Species 3 CD1
Species 3 CD2
Speed 2 - Cruise Control
Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945)
Spetters 1980
Spider-Man CD1
Spider-Man CD2
Spider (2002)
Spider Man 2 CD1
Spider Man 2 CD2
Spies Like Us 1985
Spirit of the Beehive
Spirited Away CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2
Spoilers The
Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
Springtime In A Small Town
Spun (Unrated Version)
Spy Game
Spy Hard
Spy Who Came In from the Cold The
Spy Who Loved Me The
Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series
Spygirl CD1
Spygirl CD2
Square Peg
St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001
Stage Beauty 2004
Stage Fright 1950
Stalag 17
Stalker 1979 CD1
Stalker 1979 CD2
Star Trek Generations CD1
Star Trek Generations CD2
Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones
Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2
Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods
Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within
Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation
Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide
Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strada La
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Style Wars
Suicide Regimen
Sukces 2003
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swept Away
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)