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Spies Like Us 1985

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I have|a priority package
from the nat-sat|printing room.
why don't you|say it a little louder?
we could open|the window.
you could shout it|towards Moscow.
sorry. I--
it's not your fault|you're stupid.
just open the case|and get out of here.
the case is chained|to my wrist.
security dispatch|has the key.
leave the material,|take the case,
and wait outside.
no can do.
the material's|locked inside.
all right.|just give it to me.
get in the closet.
Hi-weather IV
transmitted this stuff|an hour ago.
beautiful close-ups!
miegs and sline|will drool.
they're late again.|unusual for soldiers.
they know|what they're doing.
here they are.
are those the shots|from the latest fly-by?
over here, general.
is someone|in this closet?
ignore him.
he's just one|of our couriers.
well... ok.
nice close-ups.
definitely approaching|full-go hour.
I greased the house committee|for covert appropriations.
they think the funds are|for more stealth bombers.
we've selected|2 GLG-20s--
they're the best men|we have.
the last 2|were the best men we had.
now they're our|2 best dead men.
I'm convinced|there's a security leak
in your training program.
well, we could|bypass training.
no. they'll train with|2 other GLG-20s--
2 who are responsible|for the project
and 2 who are...
are you suggesting|we assign this job
to inferior personnel?
no, I understand.
2 teams.
one to do the job,
the other|to be a diversion.
you mean decoys? targets?
GLG-20s don't|exactly grow on trees.
I'd hate to waste|2 of them as targets.
I'm sure you can find|a couple of men
you won't mind wasting.
I'll be when?|lovin' you
cloudy days or sunny
lovin' you
are you sure?
that's a promise, honey?
when your kiss can|no longer pack a thrill
I'll still|be lovin' you
I'll be huggin' you?
like a baby panda,|kissin' you
on your|old veranda
when your charm, dear,|is absolutely nil
yeah, I know. you'll|still be lovin' me.
billin', cooin'
you I'll keep|pursuin'
always lovin'
hotter than|a baker's oven
we do smart work
you'll just love|our artwork
don't blame me...
aren't you taking|this test tomorrow?
the foreign|service board? yeah.
don't you|have to study?
I know the FSB exam|glass-backwards.
I've taken it|3 times already.
it's supposed to be|different this year--
500 questions|in 2 hours.
let me see|the booklet.
look at these samples.
all multiple choice.|it's easy.
"if discovered appropriating|classified documents
"at a foreign|consulate reception,
"you should...|a--express concern,
"b--act surprised,
"c--deny everything,
and d--all 3."
the answer is "d," all 3.
common-sense stuff.
I guess you just don't want|advancement bad enough.
my granddad|was an envoy.
my dad was an envoy.
I was born|into the trade.
besides, I've arranged|for an intimate lunch
with our supervisor.
you have to take|that test.
I'm very hurt that's why|you invited me over.
don't do that, alice.
I'm sorry.|I'm not myself today.
I saw my neurologist|this morning.
don't give me some|bullshit you're dying.
not now.
radio: 'cause there's|one thing we forgot to say
we're gonna|rock the house down
we're gonna|shake up the place--
where's the brain|for the scramjam 7000?
procurement picked it up|over an hour ago.
was it fixed?
yeah, with new|voice-scramblers.
oh. what about that|red-chinese radio chatter?
it's done.|here you go.
that was a static-filled,
triple-scrambled|microwave transmission
between 2 soldiers|talking in mandarin chinese.
they were only using
a simple polyphonetically|grouped 20-digit key
transposed|in boustrophendonic form
with multiple nulls.
I broke it with this.
a drogan's|decoder wheel?
they put these into|cereal boxes for kids.
yeah, I found it in|a box of lucky charms.
break it down again|with the machines!
I already did.
well, then...|clean up the desk!
that's much better.
by the way, good luck|on the test tomorrow.
what test?
the foreign service|board exams. good luck.
foreign service|boards tomorrow?
I can't take it.
I haven't studied.|I'm not prepared.
you were bumped up|on the list.
you're scheduled|for tomorrow morning.
I'm sure I told you.
this is dated|2 weeks ago.
you planned this.
you want me|to fail that test
so you can keep me in|the center of the earth
doing your work for you.
you just watch|your mouth, mister.
this department's laying off|civilians left and right.
where are you going?
home. to study.
one night studying|for a grade-19 FSB exam?
good luck.
listen, captain, I'm|going to pass that exam,
and I'm going to get|out of this hole
and do some really important|work for national security.
yeah, sure.
I was going to do|your family a favor
and hook up|the Disney channel for free.
well, forget it.
ladies and gentlemen,|as of this afternoon,
the undersecretary|for south American affairs
emphatically denies|any and all intervention
in the current realignment|of top positions
in the paraguayan air force.|thank you very much.
what about|the army's request
for spraying|subsidies?
are there|any Paraguayans here?
their request for subsidies|was not Paraguayan,
as it were.
the United States would never--|if the president--
that's how it will always be.|is that clear?
how can you say
we aren't spending|millions on spraying
when the international|wheat board reported
"extensive contamination
in the grain fields|of southern Argentina"?
the state de... eber...|uh... the state...
cutting out on us.|I'm sorry.
however,|the qu... wo... si...
...unch date,|so I must go.
these examinations|are qualifiers for positions
in the intelligence sections|of our embassies overseas.
the nature of your postings|will be secret.
now, secret work|can be very risky.
I cite what happened to one|of our greatest Americans--
not yet!
oop!|excuse me.
I'm sorry.
my fault.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I had to attend|the reading of a will.
I had to stay|till the very end.
I found out|I received nothing.
broke my arm.
would you hold my wallet|while I take the test?
there's $1,000 in there...
or maybe there isn't.
know what I mean?
are you saying|I can take this money
if I help you pass?
what doyouthink?
thank you.
so, where do I--
sit down!
you may begin...
excuse me.
ahem! ahem!
ahem! ahem! ahem!
thank you.
you're welcome.
oh, god, the pressure!
I can't take it!
I can't take it!
I can't!|I can't do it!
I can't... what page?
this is|Emmett Fitz-Hume.
he's an information|officer at state.
he started there in '74|as a mail boy.
his father|got him his job.
this is Austin Millbarge.
he's a repair supervisor
in dia's code-breaking arm|at the pentagon.
wiggled into supervisor's pay|through an f-section.
his last job|before joining defense
was fixing office copiers.
he's good with hardware,|got some Russian.
want to see|their test scores?
what the hell for?
they're a couple of absolutely|self-involved bullshit artists
who got caught cheating|on a departmental exam.
they'll do anything|to save their jobs.
one's got|basic diplomacy skills.
the other's a code-breaker|with language ability.
I believe|we've found our decoys.
heart attack!|ahhh!
can I borrow your pen?
everybody,|please, stand back!
I am a trained|cardiovascular
respiratory emergency|assist technician.
I want all of you to stand back!|this man needs air!
in fact, all of you|should leave the room--
so, what are we gonna get?|dismissal? suspension?
censure? departmental|prosecution? what?
that's right.
we like what we've|seen of you two.
we're bucking you|right up front
to gathering,|level 20.
gathering,|level 20?
that's quite a step up|in base pay.
we're not|in trouble?
we're not recruiting|for the boy scouts.
we want people|who are aggressive,
who know how|to go after that edge
you need to survive.
we especially liked|the way you two guys
were working as a team|in there.
if you feel|you can work together,
you're on your way up.
we've got a very|special assignment.
foreign service?
undercover work?
Emmett Fitz-Hume.
Austin Millbarge.
when do we begin|our training?
right away.
we're just|hitching a ride.
they won't|make us jump.
jump? no chance.|we won't have to jump.
all right,|sky-troopers!
let's go!
go?|what does he mean?
you can't do this!
what are you doing?
help! help! help! help!
oh! oh, no! oh, no!
where are we?
I don't know.|I wasn't watching.
I lost everything|at 7,000 feet.
you hear that?
yeah.|it's a dickfer.
what's a dickfer?
to pee with.
man: aah!
was that me?
eiiaaww! haiii!
we need a plan.
let's play dead.
come on, superspy,|think of something.
you're the diplomat.|talk to them.
all right.
stop right there,
and I'll bring|back the sun.
this is my sister.
you can|all have her.
I hear|she's very good.
one more step,|I start swinging!
he's threatening you!|let's get him!
show some balls!
it's too late to try|to impress them.
that's enough.
Austin Millbarge?
here, sir.
Emmett Fitz-Hume.
colonel Rhombus,|special projects training.
we've been expecting you.
excuse me, but what|was all this, uh...
that's how|I welcome new trainees.
what's wrong with|coffee and a handshake?
it's my job to get you ready|for field combat.
I must know right away|what I've got to work with.
I've made my decision.
what's it say?
that's not fair.|they had swords.
what could we do?
it depends on your|particular arena of combat.
maybe this.
I'll take you|back to the base.
this is|the obstacle course.
it is essentially the course
familiar to|armed service recruits,
except here in intelligence|operative training,
we do it a bit differently.
we add the element|of scorched earth.
this is your standard|bog negotiation trial.
you'll be judged|on survivability and time.
heads down!
this will|verify your ability
to stay afloat|at high speeds.
we'll now|begin with afpsr--
air force|passive strain response.
you'll not be required|to exert yourself at all,
only to survive aggravated|body temperature measurement.
hot! hot! hot!
we will now determine|your g-force threshold.
just relax, gentlemen.
I guess|we just sit here?
piece of cake.
you want some coffee?
that's a good idea.
colonel,|we were just talking,
and, uh, we've had|loads of fun here.
met new friends,|had a great lunch.
wasn't that|a great lunch?
the tuna and cream|casserole was beautiful.
anyway, we were talking,|and we'd like to go home now.
thanks for the bruises.
keep the stool samples.
boys, it would be a shame|to have to kill you now.
what did he|mean by that?
it means we're O. I. O.
what's that?
Obligated|Involuntary Officers.
begin radical vertical|impact simulation...
come in.
you wanted|to see us, sir?
congratulations, men.|you're about to enter
the operational phase|of your assignment.
I'm not authorized to give you|the full operational packet,
but I'll tell you the location|of your initial drop
will be well inside|the borders of Pakistan.
is one of these people|our contact?
who led the American league|in home runs in 1953?
I'll handle this.
what's he doing?
it's just their way|of saying hello.
hello.|I'm Austin.
hi. Bud Schnelker,|liaison office.
u. s. consulate,|karachi.
Rob Hodges.|DIA, west asian section.
welcome to Pakistan.
boy, we're glad|to see you guys.
when's lunch?
come on, guys.|jeep's over here.
Emmett: I'm starving.|what time you got?
listen, could we stop?
what's the matter?
I got to take a leak.
you should go, too.
what are you,|my mother?
don't you think I'm|capable of determining
my own time to go|to the bathroom?
so, isn't now|one of those times?
you don't feel a certain|degree of urgent pressure
on the inner wall|of your bladder
now right at|this moment?
no. I'm fine.
well, wouldn't you feel|more comfortable
being fully relieved|of excess fluidsnow?
I got to take a whiz?
don't go away.
oh, we'll be here.
these guys are not|our legitimate contacts.
they're KGB special branch.
oh, come on.
that was|a Russian wristwatch.
I know the country of origin of|every timepiece in the world.
that was a Russian copy|of a 1969 Timex digital.
is this your hobby?
basic. most common|slip-up in espionage.
we walked right|into enemy hands.
if you do know your|final objective,
you'd be smart|to tell us.
we'll work things|out a lot quicker.
we still|don't know.
you know what they say|about this type of operation...
da! da!|da!
come on!
look out!
they sure had me fooled.
the Soviets obviously|know we're here now.
where to, boss?
first we check|our gasoline supply.
how's our|gasoline supply?
8 5-gallon cans.
enough to get us|to an airport?
I hope so.|we'll drive in shifts.
one guy'll drive,|the other'll sleep.
ok. I'll drive,|you sleep.
wake me up|when you get tired.
good night.
good night.
sleep tight.
don't let|the bedbugs bite.
good morning.
is there|an airport near here?
Austin.|your turn to drive.
these are|the Yusufzai.
they're afghani|freedom-fighters.
they're our allies.
we're Americans!
dr. Hadley!
oh, my god!
what do you think|you're doing?
sorry about this.
they're very distrustful|of outsiders.
no problem.
get your men|to cut them down.
who are you?
oh, sorry. Hadley.
london college of medicine.
they only allow us here because|we're helping with the wounded.
they didn't realize|you were with the effort.
with who?
the United Nations|medical effort, of course.
aren't you doctors|Trowbridge and Greenberg?
yeah, sure,|that's us.
I'm dr. Trowbridge.|this is dr. --
Greenbaumberg.|we're doctors.
everybody looks|fine here, right?
yes, doctor.
stick your|tongue out, please.
everything's fine.
we'll head back|to the old u. n.
and let them know what|a good job you're doing.
ah, the American|sense of humor.
come on. the others are|anxious to meet you.
have we received the last|shipment of penicillin yet?
not yet. no.
2 envoys|are coming.
here we are.
I'm Hadley,|internal medicine.
dr. La Fong,
communicable diseases.
dr. Boyer,|bacteriology.
doctors Stinson,|Marston, and Gill
of the Northampton|trauma institute.
and dr. Imhaus|of the Zurich relief fund.
our new surgeons,|Trowbridge and Greenbaum.
and doctor.
did we miss anyone?
you gentlemen relax.
the tribe's raiding a Soviet|tank division tomorrow.
there will be plenty|for us to do then.
we're not doctors.
we've got to leave|here immediately!
no. not until I've had--
excuse me.
am I interrupting?
no! he was just|on his way out.
what happens when|the real doctors come?
dr. Trowbridge.
oh! right!
make yourself|comfortable. sit down.
thank you.
what can I do for you?
dr. Trowbridge--|may I call you Homer?
well, that's your name.
oh! right!|Homer. of course.
what's your name?
dr. Trowbridge...|Homer...
when you walked|into this tent,
it was the most exciting|moment of my life.
well, you just wait.
you're my hero. I've|read all your papers.
how'd you get|my papers?
oh, you mean|my medical papers!
are you|making fun of me?
oh, Karen,|our first fight.
you might think I'm silly|to worship you the way I do,
but in my estimation,|you're a genius.
well, I think genius|is a pretty strong word,
but if you insist on using it,|I can handle it.
in fact, I hesitate|to mention my problem.
it's a task hardly worthy|of your abilities.
go ahead. mention it.
there's nothing|I wouldn't do for you.
the khan's brother,|he's been suffering
from pain in|the right lower abdomen,
obviously|an inflamed appendix.
dr. Hadley was|going to remove it,
but now that|you're here,
just to see you perform|even a simple surgery
would be a great thrill|in my life.
I'd really rather not.
I don't have|my instruments with me.
use dr. Hadley's.
the khan's brother|is being prepped now.
if you refuse|to do this,
the khan will lose|faith in you and us.
the consequences|could be severe.
I see.
well, the truth is|I am a great surgeon,
but alas, I recently suffered|severe nerve damage
in my left hand.
oh, my god!
yeah. look at that.
no feeling at all.
how did that happen?
I was lifting|a car off a child.
it was a big cadillac.
I'm so disappointed.
the khan will be|very suspicious.
my god.
oh, there, there, there.
actually, I could|operate without my hands.
dr. Greenbaum|could be my hands.
I could tell him|what to do.
youwouldget a chance|see me in action.
that would be|wonderful.
after I guide dr. Greenbaum|through an operation,
I get very depressed.
I couldn't|do it myself.
it's a very bad time|for me.
don't you worry.|I'll be with you.
give me a break.
about an hour?
fine. an hour.
thank you.
you're good with tools,|aren't you? instruments?
you kidding? you're|talking to Millbarge.
want something converted,|built, repaired, modified?
you're talking|to mr. hands.
ahh. mind if|I play through?
doctor. doctor.
glad I'm not sick.
if anything happens to him,|my people will be angry.
to die in battle|is glorious.
to die in a tent|is disgrace.
and with that, I give you|dr. Julius Greenbaum.
thank you, doctor.
I'll just step out|for a smoke.
perhaps|I'll stay here.
today we'll be removing|the patient's appendix.
the first step in an operation|of this particular type is...
to shave the patient.
nah, forget it,|forget it.
we'll skip the shave|and go to the operation.
the second step|in this operation is...
but can't you tell|he's already been given
the required injection|of pentothal?
of course.
he's already been given|the required... injections.
all right. let us begin|the operation.
thank you, doctor.
and now,|the first incision.
isn't that incision|a bit high
for an appendix?
do you want to do|the operation?
fine! you come on up here,|and you do it!
he was cutting|into his chest!
did I cut his chest?
I was probing to determining|muscle tone and skeletal girth.
it's a new technique!
we mock what|we don't understand.
go ahead, will you?
I'm getting hungry.
and now,|the first incision.
and now,|I will incise.
cut the sucker.
this man is dead.
excuse us.
thank you.
let me do it!
help me!
let go!
the drive-in|is closed.
we're with|the Ace tomato company.
all this|cloak-and-dagger stuff.
the military love it.
christ, will you|look at this place?
mr. ruby.
mr. keyes.
yes, sir.
won't you gentlemen|have a Pepsi?
2 pepsis to go.
now what?
"why don't you|gentlemen have a Pepsi?"
you do it.
this way,|gentlemen.
welcome to W. A. M. P.
general sline, sir.
yes, sergeant?
it's a collect call from|Pakistan for mr. Ruby
from mr. Fitz-Hume.
we'll just be|another minute.
thank you|for your patience.
it's collect. their|contacts tried to kill them.
they don't know what to do.
and they told you this
over a public phone?
no, sir. at&t's operator|told our operator.
they're insane!
and apparently|roaming free.
he's on line 7, sir.
get us the hell out!
everything's under|control, mr. Fitz-Hume.
hold on one moment.
look, the longer they're|out in the field,
the more heat we can draw|away from the real team.
I agree. let's send them|over the border.
how will|they get there?
that's their problem.
hello, gentlemen.
we're organizing|a rescue operation for you.
for after you've reached|your final objective.
what is|our final objective?
that information is on|a need-to-know basis.
at this particular time,|you do not need to know.
however, we can tell you
to make immediately|for the Soviet Pamir district.
wait for your next contact|on the road to Dushanbe.
the road to Dushanbe?
you practically told them|the strike zone.
listen, if they|make it there at all,
they'll be plucked by|Soviet motorized infantry.
the road to Dushanbe
is a heavily traveled|military artery.
I guess that|takes care of that.
we must make|no mistakes this time.
our whole way of life|hangs in the balance.
pamir? Dushanbe?
you're sure|that's what he said?
right. aren't they|in Russia?
and how!
no, thanks.|I've already eaten.
how can we get there?|it's thousands of miles.
if this is|the lower Kohistan,
we're about 150 miles|from the Soviet border.
youwouldhave to|know that.
wait a minute!
how do we cross|the Soviet border?
we don't shave,|sell the ambulance,
sell our clothes,|and go native.
how far do we have|to go on this bus?
as far as it|takes us.
hey, look!|it's dr. Boyer!
she's the last person|we want to see.
no! she's nice.
what's this, the border?
no. toll stop.
hopefully, there won't be|guardposts where we cross.
dr. Boyer.
leave it alone.
I left without|saying good-bye.
where are you going?
you can't deny what|happened between us.
don't touch me.|come on.
"don't touch me."
look at this.|it's really neat.
how can she let a little death|interfere with romance?
they couldn't|have done better.
they aren't doctors.
what do you mean?
that metal case she was|packing on her horse.
what about it?
it's a Satscrambler|terminal.
sophisticated equipment|for sending, scrambling,
and receiving|satellite messages.
so she's|a sophisticated woman.
it's a highly|classified piece
of intelligence|hardware.
she's a high-class|intelligent piece.
knock it off.
you're saying that|they're spies like us?
they're spies, but not|necessarily on our side.
I think it's our duty|as American operatives
to follow her and|find out what she's up to.
you just want|to follow her.
you're thinking|with your dick.
they left their|land rover here.
they're probably|headed for the border.
it would save us|a lot of trouble.
they seem to be headed|in that direction.
maybe your dick's|not so dumb.
got me through|high school.
do you think those men|are following us?
they're most likely|Chitrali nomads.
not to worry.
did you say sit?
I didn't say sit.
did you say sit?
no, I didn't say sit.|what--
now what?
I guess we walk.
why do we have to carry|all this stuff?
the Dushanbe road runs across|the top of the mountains.
it'll be sub-arctic|temperatures up there.
you'll thank me.
"you'll thank me."
that's it.
the Dushanbe road...
where we're supposed|to meet our contacts...
I hope.
only insofar as it|serves to confirm
the president's|own beliefs.
this is quite|an exciting project.
what was the cost of|this star wars system?
just under|$60 billion.
quite a bargain.
sir, printout|from gravsat.
a transmission|from the field,
your GLG-20s.
well, wonderful.|they confirm
estimated arrival|at the strike site
by 6 p. m.|their time tomorrow.
that's 9 a. m. here.|right on schedule.
you can always|count on our people.
well, this is it.
where are those contacts|we heard so much about?
did they say where|on the road?
maybe we should|start hitchhiking.
we're inside|the Soviet union.
I wish we hadn't|lost Boyer.
they had horses.|we were on foot!
it's the tadzhik|highway patrol.
they were just|sitting there.
they heard our|entire conversation.
what are they saying?
he says we needn't|bother whispering.
let's get|out of here.
they'll cut us down.
we can't just|go with them.
what other choice|do we have?
if we give ourselves up,
the state department|will get us home.
not me!
hi! just me.
I was just looking for|the burt reynolds theater.
don't I get|a phone call?
and who do you|intend to call?
goddamn it!
he gives himself up!
what is|your objective?
my objective?
well, I object to|buying a girl dinner,
then she won't|put out for you.
why are you here?
why am I here?
why are you here?
why is anybody here?|I think sartre said--
how do you spell sartre?
ow! and let that|be a lesson to you!
every minute you don't|tell us why you're here,
I cut off a finger.
mine or yours?
why are you|still hitting me?
he's going to cut|my fingers off!
you have 30 seconds.
you're not gonna hum|thejeopardytheme?
we start with|the little one.
all right!|I'm an American agent.
and, uh...|and, uh...
they sent me here|to assassinate your premier.
I knew it!|pay up, comrade.
let's cut his|fingers off anyway.
let's take him to|headquarters in Moscow.
good move.|good move.
it shouldn't be much further.|we've made good time.
we'll go on foot|from here.
ow! ohh!
goddamn it!
whoa! whoa!
how you doing?|remember me?
what are you|doing here?
what areyou|doing here?
they surprised us.|border troops.
they got my partner.
did they|get you, too?
I'm fine!
no wonder neither|of you could operate.
you're spies like us!
you mean, you're--
Austin Millbarge.|I'm a GLG-20.
you two are|the other GLG-20s.
the decoys.
lower your voice.
that's why they rushed|us through training,
why we were met|by the KGB,
why they sent us|into enemy hands.
I am--extremely|pissed off!
my partner and I|were set up!
forget it!|that's behind us!
our first priority|is to cover those bodies,
establish|a new base camp,
and complete|this project.
Fitz-Hume's|in the custody
of the tadzhik|highway patrol
because of you.
the only project|I have to complete
is to get|my partner out.
come on!
look! did you do that?
yeah. I did that|for you.
you know, I must|really like you,
because I don't|like horses,
and I hate guns.
what's this?
you don't want it!
I'll get the horse.
let's go!
hi-ho, silver!|away!
it'ssoul finger|by the bar-kays.
they must be having|trouble getting gigs.
this is a Soviet|icbm site.
Austin: that's|an SS-50 long-range rocket
and mobile launcher.
they just moved it|in here.
haven't even put up|their locator beacon.
means they're not hooked|into Soviet defense.
they are radio-isolated.
only 3 men.
and their mother.
let me see that.
come on!
you two|are unbelievable!
wait a minute.|what are we doing here?
this is our final objective.
our project orders|are to subdue the crew
and seize control|of this emplacement.
hold it, sister. we're|not going near that thing.
that missile has|a 40-megaton nuclear warhead.
good night,|everybody.
where are you going?
for once, I'm in|complete agreement.
we should get up and|leave immediately.
those things can suck|the paint off your house
and give your family|a permanent orange afro.
I don't what you two do,
but I'm fulfilling|my obligation.
I intend to go down there|and seize control
of that emplacement,|alone if I have to.
you know we'd do|anything for you,
but we can't|seize that rocket.
we'd have to kill|everybody down there.
I'm not|killing anybody.
I'm not, either.
gentlemen, I think|you both should realize
the gravity|of this moment.
I've spent the last|2 1/2 years of my life
preparing for|this penetration.
this afternoon, I buried|my partner Jerry Hadley,
perhaps the finest,|most dedicated GLG-20
in the history|of the service.
he is now entombed|in a snowy grave,
and it's not gonna be|for nothing.
we are here today|to guarantee
the personal freedom|of every American.
and we should never forget
the words of president|john f. kennedy
who said,"ask not what|your country can do for you,
but what you can do|for your country."
will you marry me?
these are high-compression|tranquilizer pistols.
we're not going|to kill anybody,
but you've got to get|in close to use them.
hours--t-minus 2 until|designated target apogee.
sir, all air traffic|has been diverted
from our|response corridor.
what's our present|on-line power reading?
michigan reactor|and washington state
atomic plants|on-line, general.
lock us in, sergeant.
W. A. M. P. secure, sir.
all right.
let's go to|response level yellow.
initiating level yellow.
run your full servo|and arming.
servo on and armed.
soul finger!
soul finger.
what's she saying?
hair... hairbrush...|headrest...
where did you learn your|Russian, J. C. Penney?
when she was a child|in lithuania,
her uncle used to tell a story|about strange beings
that came down from|a disc and stole an ox
which the village had|put aside for roasting.
I told you|it would work.
everybody knows|about ufos.
apparently, the aliens|dissected the ox
and kept the best pieces|of meat for themselves.
so we owe them|a cow.
where do we get one?
nee nee nee!|de de de!
do what I do.
aah! aah! aah!
aah! aah! aah!
Satscram signal|from the strike site.
your GLG-20s have|penetrated successfully
and are awaiting|the go-code.
open and lock down|ground deflectors.
ground deflectors|opened and locked.
ok, dostoevsky,|what does it say?
it says...
"approach SS-50...
source programmable|rocket."
"find control box|at front of transporter."
this is a snap.
"for erector panel,|push red button."
"depress red key switch.
enter first|numbered sequence."
"dash 2-5-9...
dash 6."
"acknowledge compliance|on Satscram now."
GLG-20s acknowledge|programming and compliance.
bring all birds|into final bounce mode.
bounce mode engaged.
send them the go-code.
"go with numbered|sequence 7-4...
"dash 7-4...
"dash 8-8-3...
dash 5, dash 3."
sac-com confirms|an outbound blip
from Soviet central asia.
it's on its way.
override all sac alerts
with error stand down orders|for 10 minutes.
sac override code|entered.
error. stand down.
I think we just started|world war iii.
she wants to know why|we would do such a thing.
tell her|so do we.
what are they|saying?
it's 4:47 a. m.
they're saying it'll be|28 minutes
before the rocket detonates|above its target
somewhere inside|the continental United States.
let's see--28 minutes.
that's 18 until it's|inside the u. s. radar cup.
figure 2|for our response,
say,20 until|total commitment.
figure 20,22
until the first impact|of our retaliatory strike.
I figure|we have 42 minutes
until the end of civilization|as we know it.
you want to go out|with a bang?
I beg your pardon?
it was just an idea.
you know, if we were|sitting in a bar,
I'd throw a drink|right in your face...
but under|the circumstances,
it's not such|a bad idea.
release full pulse.
bounce pulse failed to|connect with target, sir.
just what are you|saying, soldier?
we missed it, sir.
we missed the rocket.|it didn't work.
didn't work?|where did the pulse go?
I don't know, sir, but|it definitely didn't connect
with the inbound traffic.
we'd better|call the president.
we're not calling anyone.
what do you mean,|we're not calling anyone?
the president must know|that this attack
was not initiated|by the Soviet union.
we are prepared|for this contingency.
what in hell do you|intend to do?
you understand, sir,|that we are responsible
for launching a nuclear weapon|against our own country?
no one outside|this command center
has that information,|gentlemen.
when we commissioned|the schmectel corporation
to research this precise|event sequence scenario,
it was determined that|the continual stockpiling
and development|of our nuclear arsenal
was becoming|self-defeating.
a weapon unused|is a useless weapon.
sac-com confirms
all defense systems|commitment ready.
we have verification.
the president is aboard|the airborne command center.
I'm sure it will only be|a matter of minutes
before the president|commits to total release.
jesus christ!
you see, we had to show
that we had|the technical capability
and were determined.
history demonstrates|conclusively
that naive|wishing for peace
is the surest|possible way
to encourage|an aggressor.
I demand you place me
in immediate communication|with the president!
relax, mr. ruby.
this facility is more than|adequately stocked
for a comfortable 17 months|of below-ground existence.
we'll be fine.
by your actions, sir,
you are risking the future|of the human race!
to guarantee|the American way of life...
I'm willing|to take that risk.
it's hard to believe|it's been only 15 minutes
since I destroyed|the world.
in another 15 minutes,|it will all be over.
it's such a short time|to destroy a world.
and to think my high school|guidance counselor
said I'd never|amount to anything.
it just goes to show--
guidance! source|programmable guidance!
Fitz-Hume! Boyer!
get up! get up!
come on! come on!
come on!
wait a minute!|what's going on here?
you have a tent?
bring me|the Satscram dish.
I think we can|recall it.
what do you mean,|recall it?
you mean like|a defective pinto?
take this up.
up. climb.
grab a rock.|grab a hammer.
we can divert it.
it's made to respond|to in-flight commands.
here's a rock.
go to the Satscram|terminal.
now what?
smash that thing!
it's broken.
bring it here.
not the rock.
what's the use? it's|probably all over anyway.
no, no, no.
all we have to do is|switch sending boards.
start sending the launch|sequence in reverse order.
yes, sir.
hold these together.
I've got|to make the splice.
hold it together.
ow! I got a shock.
and you will.
I don't care|how painful it is,
you've got|to hold them together.
you are the circuit bridge.
I need, uh...
bigger|than a bread box?
I need, uh, uh...
the title|of a movie?
animals and|their natural habitats?
the title of a book?
things that are being|electrocuted?
I got it!
we did it!
we did?|we did it!
can I borrow your tent?
sac-com confirms|destruction of the inbound.
what about the rest|of their inbounds?
there are none, sir.
both the u. s. and Soviet|response chain on full recall.
place them under arrest--|all of them.
wait! we don't know|these men.
we were kidnapped.
that's right!|kidnapped!
yes! we were. we were|at the drive-in.
as the disarmament|talks here
continue through|closed sessions
last night and|on into this afternoon,
a feeling|of positive anticipation
is shared by everyone|in the press corps.
the doors|to the conference room
are opening.
I see the chief|United States delegate
mr. Emmett Fitz-Hume.
mr. Fitz-Hume.
hi, ed.
everybody at home is|most anxious to know
how things are going|in there.
well, ed, right now
we're at an extremely|sensitive juncture.
and, of course,|the slightest misperceived
phrase or gesture
could upset everything|we've achieved today.
now if you'll|excuse me, ed...
thank you,|mr. Fitz-Hume.
thank you, Ed.
mr. Emmett Fitz-Hume,
chief state department|negotiator
here at|the disarmament talks
re-entering|what he has called
"the delicately|balanced negotiations."
"what little richard song
"was the title|of a 1950s movie
starring jayne mansfield?"
good golly,|miss molly?
great balls of fire?
wrong! it was|the girl can't help it.
sorry. you lose.
Eastern Europe.
Eastern Europe.
SLC Punk
SNL Best Of Eddie Murphy 1998
S Diary 2004
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Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strada La
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Style Wars
Suicide Regimen
Sukces 2003
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swept Away
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)