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This girls life 2004

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You know, the mouth really is an amazing orifice.
What a phenomenal creation from mother nature.
So poly-functional.
We need it to breathe, obviously,
but it can also taste and speak,
sometimes in many tongues.
Suck, lick, kiss.
We use it as a weapon when we bite.
And, of course, my personal favorite,
A variety of instruments, of course.
Okay. I'll get to the point.
Put it in your mouth.
Let it roll around a little bit inside there.
Get a feeling for it.
Now... roll your tongue around the head of it.
Doesn't it give you a sense of power?
Now, suck hard.
A little bit harder.
Don't let the stuff go down your throat.
It'll make you choke.
Trust me.
You obviously swallow, martine.
What? No, i don't.
- Never in a million years. - Busted.
Hey. Check out this guy.
Yeah, but i bet he's a ninety-niner.
Hit me, martine. What's a ninety-niner?
It's the difference between guys and girls,
- really? - Otherwise known as a ninety-niner.
Okay. A guy could be in a restaurant with his girlfriend
- or fiance who he's completely in love with, - of course.
And then he feels a rumble in his bladder and decides,
"oh, i have to go to the bathroom." so...
he tells his girlfriend very politely, "i have to go."
Excuses himself.
And, just as he's about to go in,
a beautiful woman comes up to him and says,
"i've been watching you eat all night,
"and i was just so hot and bothered,
"i was wondering... if i could... give you head.
In the bathroom. No strings attached. What do you say?"
- Uh-huh. - Mmm.
99 percent of guys would say, "yes,"
and go in and get the job.
Now, if the situation was reversed, and a woman
was approached by a gorgeous guy outside the restroom,
given a similar line, 99 percent of women would say...
i don't know. I think i'm that one percent, then.
Maybe it's my maternal instinct.
'Cause i would never like to see a good man go hungry.
That's my girl.
That's my mom's grave.
She died when i was 12 years old.
Well, when i say "died," she committed suicide.
It's weird. I can almost feel her presence.
I can almost smell her perfume.
My father came home early from work one day, and...
he found her in bed with another man.
No one ever spoke about it.
Maybe that's why she did it.
She couldn't take the guilt.
She hung herself.
And this was my mom's car.
She called it her bond car.
She has a small role in one of the early bond films.
It was only a walk-on, but,
after that, she always said that she was a bond girl.
So, this is where i work.
There's no smoking here.
Every movement i make
is transmitted in a live sex 24 webcam.
This is our resident cameraman.
A.z., how you doin'?
And we've got a pool with a view outside our house.
Beautiful. Isn't it?
Web cameras everywhere.
this is my audience. Good morning.
They pay very close attention.
And this is my room here.
You like that?
So, no peeking.
And this is my little personal camera.
You can see me everywhere.
And this is my uniform for today.
What do you think? Pretty minimalist. Isn't it?
I gotta confess and tell you straight off the bat,
i'm a bit of a bond fanatic.
I always have been since i was a kid.
Probably 'cause of my mom.
You know, if i wasn't doing this,
i'd like to be a secret service agent.
This is my... last detail.
What do you think?
You like me as a blonde?
All right. Let's go.
Let's meet everybody else.
Don't think i'm gon' tell y'all my real name.
Have all y'all freaks salivatin' on my front porch humpin' my door handle?
Hell, no!
Okay, guys?
Ready? Come on.
Gonna meet my favorite, moon.
This is one of our biggest hits.
All over southeast asia, russia... big, big hit.
Moon. This is cheyenne.
Big in zimbabwe, japan,
and, believe it or not, alabama.
All right, guys. Come on this way.
All right. Just... relax, be yourselves, be cool.
And remember one thing.
She doesn't like it if you suck on her lips. Okay?
Sweet kisses but nothing else. All right.
You look great.
All right. Guys this is a.z. He's our webcam guy.
He's always there, always doing his little number.
Bond, bond, and more bond.
All right, guys. I own primal video.
Everybody just calls me mr. A.
We like to think of ourselves as one big family.
One big, incestuous,
dysfunctional family, just like home.
This is our pride and joy.
Number-one star in the world, this is moon.
Guys, introduce yourselves.
Hi, moon. I'm marko.
God, i just love your body of work.
I-i've seen almost all your films, and, uh...
i don't know. Y-you're just awesome.
Have you done any acting work before?
Well, i did romeo and juliet when i was in school.
I'm basil.
Aw, don't let the wrinkles, uh, scare ya.
Come on. Wrinkles are a girl's best friend.
I always say, the more wrinkles down here, the greater...
can i stop you right there, basil?
A little imagination goes a long way. Thank you.
Me, i'm from a small town you probably never even heard of.
Macon, georgia.
But, you know, you're a bona fide movie star,
and i really... i-i just wanna be your leading man.
- Ha-ha-ha. - That's, uh, sammy.
He's always eating. He's from texas.
He really doesn't say much besides, "yup,"
- and, "dang it." - Nice to meet you.
- Ready? - Yeah.
Okay, guys, let's drop 'em.
You know, that's what i hated about the movie full monty.
There was no full monty.
What's up with that? Quarter monty? Half monty?
No monty?
Anyway... any thoughts?
Actually, i have a few.
People always talk about the size of the penis,
but they never talk about the shape.
And shape is critical. Ask any girl.
There's the width,
but then there's also the shape of the head.
And the tantric say,
that the thumb is shaped like the penis.
So, if the thumb is shaped like a mushroom,
you got a mushroom head.
If it's shaped like a pencil, you got a pencil head.
And, uh, my girls and i have found
that the mushroom heads give the most pleasure.
And besides, my mom always told me
not to stick pencils in my mouth.
I think you all look very interesting.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
All right, gentlemen. Would you kindly wait outside, please?
Why don't you relax? Have yourselves a drink, some coffee.
Do a little stretching. Okay? A little flexibility.
Gotta get in different positions. You know what i mean?
I think you can... have some fun.
Yeah. I think i'm gonna... i'm gonna go with marko.
He seems... he seems innocent.
Okay. You like those innocent types.
- Feeling okay? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
- Did you get your car repaired? - Yes.
That's the twentieth time you've repaired it.
I love my car.
It looks great.
But a safer car... might protect you a little bit better.
- Mm-hmm. - All right. I'll shut up.
I know this may not be the right time,
but i did bring the new contract,
- 'cause your contract runs out. - Mm-hmm.
Maybe you can put a john hancock on it?
Right now?
No, no. Look. I'll leave it here. Take a few days.
- Can i get you anything else? - No. I'm good.
Can i just have my five minutes now?
- Thank you. - Have fun.
I don't know if it's quiet time or psyche time,
but for me, i always need five minutes to get myself into it.
Get myself in the zone before i do a scene.
No matter how many times i do it,
it always feels like the first time.
You know what i mean?
Just before...
you know? It's like...
that moment right before you dive into a pool.
It's that... fear mixed with adrenaline.
You always think the water is gonna be so cold,
but once you're in, you forget what it was like to be out.
Hi, moon.
- Can i come in? - Hey. Yeah.
That executive director guy, he wanted me to give you this.
- My certificate of health. - Oh, yeah.
I just had the test last week, right there.
- See? There's the date. - Nice. Perfect.
Thank you.
For what?
For the certificate.
Oh, right. Right.
I'm sorry. Uh, i guess i'm just a little bit nervous here.
This is actually my first time, um, doing it on camera.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You know what? Just relax.
Realize that it's like the first time you've been with any girl.
Just shut everything else off, and then it's just you and me.
Wow. But what about the thousands of people
that are gonna be staring at us?
Yeah, and them.
Can they see us in here right now?
Oh, yeah. They're everywhere.
They're even in the bathrooms.
It's very, you know, truman show.
So, what does that mean if i can't get hard?
Then thousands of people will know about it.
It's no big deal.
Okay. I'm not gonna think about that.
Oh, my god.
I'm gonna take care of you, and you're gonna do fine. Okay?
- Okay. All right. - You'll do great.
I feel better now. Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I know what you're thinking.
What's a girl like me doing a job like this for?
"Doesn't she know she doesn't need to be doing this?
"What's wrong with her? Is she on drugs?
Doesn't she know she doesn't need to be doing this?"
Sorry, but that really does feel good.
I don't think of myself as a slut,
although i know a lot of you are judging me now.
Someone said to me a long time ago,
"find something in life that you love to do,
"and make that your line of work.
'Cause then it doesn't feel like work to you."
Well, when i'm having sex, i honestly don't find myself
staring at the clock thinking, "when is 5:00 coming?"
Although... i might be coming at 5:00.
You know, i used to be really shy when i was a kid.
Hardly talked to people when i was young.
I just wanted to be in nature, alone.
And by the way, no, i'm not a drug addict.
And no, i've never been abused when i was...
nine or 13 by my father, uncle, or minister.
Back in high school, if you were a girl,
you slept with a lot of guys, you were labeled a slut.
If you were a guy and you bedded a lot of girls, you were a stud.
In my world, i was a female stud.
How was that for you?
Hi, kiska.
I thought you'd never come home.
Oh, i know.
I want to fix you a scrumptious dinner.
How was work, kiska?
It was good, dad.
I've told him many times what i do, but he insists on a vet.
Were the animals misbehaving?
The animals were behaving fine.
My dad calls me kiska.
It's what he called my mom. They were very in love.
He kinda... had a breakdown after she died.
He's got parkinson's.
You know the crazy thing about parkinson's,
is that it's tailor-made for each person?
His is pretty severe, though.
Sometimes, his memory's real clear.
And other times, his memory's just gone.
He gets disoriented and thinks i'm mom.
Maybe he just sees her in me.
Hey. I'm goin' out tonight, pops.
I have a date.
I remember the first date i went on with your mother.
She was painfully beautiful.
I know. Here.
I don't forget nothin'.
I don't forget nothin', 'cause...
when i was 21, i went to egypt and israel.
- Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm.
I wanted to see where jesus walked on the water.
And, after 12 hours, i got off the bus and...
there was an old fisherman standing there, and i said,
"is this where jesus walked on the water?"
He said, "yeah. Jesus was a fisherman."
"You smoke hashish?"
And i... smoked.
You did? You smoked hashish?
Yeah. My bladder was full, so i went to make behind a bush,
and when i got out, i saw the old... fisherman...
standing on the water.
Standing on the goddamn water.
And, i thought, "wow.
This is good hash."
So... i...
he was standing on the edge of the lake.
He walked over to me and he said,
"come walk with me," and i said, "i don't walk on the water."
And he said, "look. Put your foot right here."
And i dipped my toe in the water and it felt solid and i...
i thought, "what?" and he said, "it's rock right under
the surface of the water, but it's so dark you can't see it."
And these rocks extend... 60 feet out into the lake.
All the fisherman go out there to catch the fish,
because that's where the best fish are.
They've been doing it for centuries.
So, we walked out to the middle of the lake,
and he said, "you see? Around here...
everybody walks on water."
I walked on the water.
Now, look at me.
Can't tie my own shoes.
I love you. You know that.
I love you, kiska.
Sometimes i'm not sure what to wear on a date.
Especially a first date.
Ha. Even more so, a blind date.
This one, jessie set me up on.
I'm not sure she told him what i do.
You know, that i'm-i'm a porn star.
I know it shouldn't matter, but it kind of does. You know?
You know, you look familiar.
- Yeah. - Have i seen you before?
Like i give you a ride before, maybe?
No. I don't think so.
You in, uh, movies? Tv?
Not technically.
Oh, shit!
Y-y-you're... you're the porn star.
Um, moonrise. Right?
I knew i seen you before.
You are much more sexy in real life.
I'm not paying you false compliments.
My wife and i have watched you.
And... i remember her telling me that, out of all the girls,
you are the most beautiful, classy one.
Thanks. Tell her thanks, too.
Oh, i will. She'll be so excited.
No, no. Not like that.
Well, maybe like that.
I should be so lucky.
This was, uh, my mom's choker. It's for good luck.
Apparently, he's, uh, cooking dinner for me at his house.
You know, i think it's sexy when a man cooks.
Just like i think it's sexy when a woman chops wood.
As long as it's not your wood. Right?
All right. Here we go.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm kip.
Hi. I'm, uh... i'm moon.
It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you.
Here you go.
Wow. Food looks great.
Thank you for taking the time to cook.
It's so much better than going out to a restaurant.
When someone cooks, they put a part of themselves in it.
Their energy. Their flavor.
Well, i hope you like my flavor.
I'm sure i will.
I like to lay all my cards on the table right away.
I'm 27 years old.
I'm currently studying to become a surgeon.
I'm gonna work mostly with the prostate and the elderly.
- Wow. - Yeah. I love... i love old...
- i love old people. And i just, uh... - wow.
Yeah, i really feel a bond with that.
No. I'm... i'm totally kidding you. I...
i'm just... i'm like everybody else in this city. I'm an actor.
It's kinda boring.
So, uh... y-you do... you do like film, television?
Yeah. I've done some movies. I'm on a television show.
I'm sorry. I don't really watch television.
No. God. It's a good thing.
It's definitely a plus.
I mean, i don't get mobbed when i walk down the street,
but you never know why people are trying to get close to you.
You never know if the girl talking to you
- actually likes you. - Right.
It's good to know that you're not judging me based on that.
You're judging me for me.
No. I'm not judging you at all.
Why not?
I'm not a judge.
- Okay. - And, uh...
yeah. I kinda go with my own instincts.
Do you have a girlfriend?
If i had a girlfriend, i wouldn't have asked you here.
I know you just walked in, but what jessie said about you...
is right.
She says you are warm... and glowing.
Uh, what else did she say?
Not much. Why?
Why, indeed.
We need to have some more wine.
Can you imagine if that happened
in the first night you had sex with someone?
You probably wouldn't get lucky again.
- No. - That would be a deal-breaker?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
kip, i just want to tell you,
this food is really good.
I really appreciate you making it.
You know, i was feeling a little down, and now it's...
it's all gone. I haven't laughed like this in so long.
People... don't normally make me laugh.
Come here.
I thought you were gonna drop me for a second.
I wouldn't drop you.
So, you've had to listen to me go on and on about...
acting and movies and...
it's boring.
Tell me about you. What do you do?
Uh, i've done some work in prostate.
It doesn't surprise me at this point, actually.
No. But really, what do you do?
i'm a... i'm a porn star.
You're very good.
Seriously, what do you do?
Come on. Seriously.
I'm sorry. That's...
you know, jessie left that little...
- yeah. - That little detail out.
Yeah. I figured she did.
Wow. My mom, i know she's gonna ask how this...
- date went. - What are you gonna tell her?
I don't know. It was going really well.
And then...
i mean, i-i'm pretty open-minded. I am.
I-i really am. But i...
you don't look like a porn star at all.
What does a porn star look like?
I don't really know, i guess.
I mean, meaner, nastier, not...
just not you. That's...
so, do you tell people? Do you just...
you know, it-it depends.
You just have to expect that everyone's gonna make judgments.
You know?
Are you judging me right now?
I don't know.
I don't mean to, if i am. I j...
i... i'm fascinated. Really.
I'm fascinated, i'm confused, i'm a little apprehensive.
i'm a little bit turned on.
I don't know. I mean...
i just look at it that i'm not hurting anybody.
And, hopefully, i'm giving myself and some people pleasure.
Yeah. Well, i-i'm sure you are.
Wow. I'm... i'm sorry.
I'm sorry. It's just a little bit hard to swallow.
- You know? - Yeah. Tell me about it.
And you do everything?
Well, i believe in the old industry saying:
Uh, never work with children or animals.
What about... faking orgasms?
No. No. I never fake an orgasm.
That's just me though. You know? I mean...
if i don't have an orgasm, then i don't have an orgasm.
I'm totally fascinated by...
h-how did you get into this?
- You obviously didn't go to school... for that. - No.
What was the first time like?
W-w-what was going through your head? H-how old were you?
Um, i was 18.
And, uh...
hi. Uh...
i'm moon. I have an appointment.
Have a seat over here.
Thank you.
Are those, uh... porn oscars?
What? For, uh... for best newcomer?
You can go in now.
You see these walls?
Snapshot city.
Everyday, girls send me pictures from all over the country.
Every kind of girl you can imagine.
Here. Myra stein, burlington, vermont.
"I want to be a star."
A star.
Taylor leigh, st. Louis, missouri.
"I'm pierced and always wet."
Sounds like a weather report.
Paula diamante, from brooklyn.
She wants to work off her debts, and...
claims she ejaculates.
She what?
I've got housewives, students, dancers...
i even got some religious nuts.
What i'm saying is, there's no shortage of talent. You get me?
Stand up.
Open your dress.
O... open my dress?
It's porn, not fashion.
Sorry, i'm... a little nervous.
It's okay.
Good. Pull down your panties, turn around, lift up your dress.
Okay. You can get dressed now, moon.
Sit down.
I supposed you want to know about the money.
Everybody wants to know about the money.
So, let me find my sex manual, here.
Let me see.
- It always changes, you see. - Mm-hmm.
Blowjobs are 200. intercourse, 800.
Bi scenes, 600. it's gone up from five.
Anal, 1, 100.
- Mm-hmm? - What if i just, uh, want a sandwich?
Two guys? That's a grand.
With tomatoes, 1,200.
Look. I'm not gonna lie to you.
You could go very far. You could go to the top.
You wanna know why?
Because you've got that pure, classy look.
A girl who... could've been a high school cheerleader.
The girl every guy...
wanted to take home to introduce to his mom.
In a word...
you're gold.
- Thanks. - You don't have to thank me. I'm...
i'm not throwing you flowers.
I'm telling it like it is.
You got a righteous ass, and it speaks for itself.
why do you want to do porn?
I'm curious.
That you are. And bless you for that.
You like sex?
I love sex.
So, here's our studio.
We have our european
kind of funky, macabre look.
And then over here, we have our... our nature.
- Yeah. Yeah. - Oh!
What do you think?
That day was a first for me.
I'd never been with a woman before.
Maybe it was fitting
that a woman bring me into my first scene.
Could you ever date a porn star?
I don't know.
I mean... would you... consider quitting the porn...
industry altogether and having a... a monogamous relationship?
Hold that pregnant thought. Okay?
Kiska? Where are you?
I'm with a new friend.
Yeah. He cooked me dinner.
I'm embarrassed... but i'm a mess.
I tried to use the toilet, and i couldn't get my zipper down,
and i wet myself.
My hands are shaking so much,
and now, i'm... sitting here in my own...
oh, pops, do...
don't worry. I-i-i...
i-i-i... i'll be home soon. Okay?
I-i-i'll be right there and i'll help you. All right?
I love you. Bye.
Is he okay?
Yeah. He's, uh... thanks.
Yeah, um...
he's got parkinson's.
It's difficult to see your own father deteriorate. You know?
I know... i know all about it, actually. My...
my aunt had-had the same thing.
- Really? - And she had the memory loss.
And... that was terrible. What was even worse than that was,
she would have hallucinations, and...
- oh. - It just ripped your heart out. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I... i just... i have... i have to go.
Please. Do... don't even worry about it.
But it is... kinda funny, actually.
Go on a date with a porn star and i don't even get laid.
Well, actually, i never have sex on the first date.
I know it's kind of a paradox, sex being my business, but...
it's the way it goes.
You know, actually, while i've got an expert in my living room,
i'm gonna ask: What's your favorite position?
What do you think?
Uh... i don't know. Maybe 69?
Uh, well, close. Uh, 68.
What's this? I don't even know what this is.
Well, 68 is when, uh, is when you go down on me...
and then i owe you one.
Made it into your pajamas.
Hey. It's your birthday tomorrow. Remember?
- Mm-hmm. - We've got friends comin' over.
I'm gonna make your favorite clam pasta.
- Yeah. We have a lot of women coming over. - All right.
- You'll be a real ladies' man. - Woo hoo.
- Yeah. - Oh, that's nice.
- Hey, pops? - Hmm?
I wish mom was here.
Don't you hear me, pops?
Don't talk about your mother.
She left us.
We weren't enough for her.
She was like a...
splinter in my eye.
Like a splinter...
in my brain.
I had to raise you... all by myself.
You did a good job.
Suicide is selfish, kiska.
No sense of duty.
Hey, you know? It's now okay, because life is beautiful.
No, you.
You are so beautiful... kiska.
You're not ugly like me.
You are not ugly.
Nah, don't kid me. I'm ugly.
No, you're not.
I'm so ugly...
i was on a walk, and this dog tried to... hump my leg.
- So? - So, his eyes were closed.
You know how ugly you have to be for a dog to close his eyes when he humps your leg?
No, pops.
Ooh! Hey, y'all.
Party over here. Party over here.
- Hi. - Hi.
How are you?
- Hello, girl. - Hey.
- Lookin' hot as usual. - Thank you. Thank you.
Hey, i got your dad a little somethin' somethin'.
Oh, man, thank you. You didn't have to.
You know, that's the whole thing about life.
You don't have to do anything.
I wanted to.
Just like i wanted to have
a couple of long island ice teas before i came over.
I'm sure you did.
I got the party started a little early.
Cheyenne, are you in the same line of business as moon?
Yeah. I actually was her first co-star.
- Really? How was that? - It was great.
- Do you mind if i ask why you do it? - Honestly, it's a rush.
I do it for the mother-fuckin' money.
What job is gonna pay you four or five gs
- to get your pussy purrin' for a couple days? - I hear that.
'Cause, the money makes me a independent woman,
and no man is gonna own my ass.
By the way, my name is mal.
Jessie, disaster with a knife.
- Hey. - Nice to meet you.
Malpractice, maladjusted, but, ooh,
never malicious, baby.
He's coming.
Happy birthday!
Are you having a going-away party for somebody?
It's your birthday, pops.
Who's going away?
- Have a seat. - Okay. Okay.
All right. Let's push you in.
Help. Help. Help. Okay...
make as wish! Ooh!
Now, who say a man can't give a good blow job? Hello.
So, you guys, um,
martine's one of my oldest friends. We went to school.
She's, uh, she' actually a law student now.
She goes to one of the best schools.
I'm very proud of her.
Oh, you're one of those brainy mamas. Huh?
Yeah, she is.
Uh, no. This one was just as smart as me. Probably smarter.
- Come on. - You used to get the top grades.
Everyone used to cheat off of her.
Do you remember that?
Oh, my god.
Yeah. She traded it all away for a life sex and whorin'.
Have you ever thought about that?
Absolutely, i've thought about that.
And i have my issues with the industry.
The main one being that not enough woman are directing.
But i'm gonna get my chance in that.
I'm gonna bring my own flavor into it.
A little more eroticism,
a little less straight to the pounding.
Yes. But don't you think you're exploited?
Aren't we all being exploited on some level or another?
I choose what i do. No one forces me.
Women... normal women do not watch porn.
I watch porn late at night sometimes, and i'm a teacher.
I like to play it in the background while i mark papers.
X, x, x.
I'm sorry, but woman have died so that we can vote and work.
Do you honestly think that you are good examples
of how we've progressed from cultures
where we're frequently nothing more than baby machines,
and, in some areas, actually still getting circumcised,
to being civilized women?
I felt that way before.
You felt like a civilized woman?
I had a job as a lawyer,
before i had parkinson's disease,
in africa.
Ooh, hakuna matata. So, you came to my homeland?
True story. I'm in morocco and i gotta take a shit
so, so bad, and they have this thing in morocco,
just this fence, like a board and a hole in the ground.
So, i'm there and i'm squatting, and there's people walking by,
and they watch while i'm taking a crap!
I gotta go really bad.
I'd been eating this baba ganoush and tabouli.
No. Wait a minute.
And i'm taking a crap,
and it's like molecular acid or something coming out my ass.
And i... i reach over, there's no toilet paper.
And i'm squatting, it's all down my leg,
and as i do, i take my crap and it says...
there's a slit in the wall, and over it it said,
it says, "wipe your ass with your hand,
"and when you're done, put it through this slit,
and it will be licked clean by human lips."
And i go, "ugh!"
But it really burned, so i wiped my hand like this,
and there's the slit, and i put it through,
and the guy on the other side hits it with a hammer, and i go, "mmm! Mmm!"
You know, i miss... i miss dancing with kiska.
We use to dance all the time.
What kind of dancing?
Oh, waltz. And we'd swing a little bit. Swing dance.
- Dirty dancin'? - No. No, no.
- Music. - Yeah.
I'm gonna get the music.
Come on, pops. Get up. We're dancing.
Come up. One, two, three.
All right.
Come on, pops, show me.
- Can i talk to you for a second? - Yeah. What?
I mean, can i talk to you in private?
Uh, yeah. Sure.
- I got the moves. - Woo woo!
Sit. Sit, sit, sit.
Remember, i told you about that teacher
at my school that i had a crush on?
Daniel taylor, that asked me out on a few dates?
- Yeah. - Well...
we went out a couple of times,
and we connected on this level
i've never connected with anyone before.
And, moon, he's got it all.
He's everything i've ever looked for.
The complete package.
You checked his package?
Of course i checked his package.
It's... it's good?
It's good.
Anyway, um, two days ago,
he asked me to get engaged.
So, you're engaged? Baby, that's great.
- I didn't say yes. - Wow.
What do you mean? You said no?
No. I said i need some time to think about it.
That's smart? Well, how did he take it?
He said to take my time.
So, what's the problem?
What's wrong?
It's not really a problem.
It's more like a favor that i need to ask of you.
Anything, babe. What's... what's...
what do you need?
I want you to test him out for me.
Test him? What like a test drive?
I want you to find out if he'd cheat on me, moon.
You know, stay faithful, before i marry him.
Look. He doesn't know you. You've never met.
No. What are you talking about?
You want me to fuck your fiance?
No. If you could just be somewhere where he is.
I know he grabs a coffee after work,
or maybe at the gym.
And, no. Not come on to him.
Just, maybe... make yourself available,
or come on to him and see if he bites.
Holy shit. That's him.
You want me...
to see if your fiance will cheat on you with me?
I mean...
i wanna know if he would stay faithful.
It would be better for me to know now,
than... after we're married, one or two kids later.
Don't you think?
You're the perfect and only person
i could ask to do something like this.
Sex is your business, moon.
Okay. Let's think this through out loud. Okay?
He's at, uh, getting a coffee,
and i, uh, come on to him.
Excuse me. I'm s... i'm sorry. Is anyone sitting here?
- No. - Do you mind if i sit down?
- No. Carry on. - Thank you.
Isn't it human nature for him to flirt with me?
Flirting's not cheating.
At what point am i stopping him?
I think for me, it would be
at the point of entry.
Point of entry of what?
A finger, a penis.
Or, god forbid, a tongue.
Exc... excuse me. I'm sorry.
Are you done with this section?
'Course. Yeah.
- Do you mind? - Go ahead.
You know, i don't know why anyone
would wanna read the newspaper these days.
The news is so depressing. Right?
You know, after september 11th, nothing's really been the same.
I hope one of those guys doesn't come in
with one of those suitcase nukes.
Can you imagine, waking up one morning,
finding that washington or san francisco is gone?
Well, a little light afternoon's conversation.
I'm... i'm sorry. I was just...
i'm sorry. I-i-i'm bond. I was just venting.
No, no, no. It's okay.
Um, sorry, um, did you say, bond?
Yeah. Don't worry. It's not short for "bondage."
No. That's a cool name.
So, uh... where are you from?
Well, i'm from wales, originally, but i live here now.
And you?
I'm from new orleans.
I'm just, uh, here for the weekend visiting a friend.
It's kind of interesting not knowing anyone in the city.
Not knowing where to... walk.
It... it is safe to... to walk around here. Right?
I mean, for a girl?
Well, it depends on the neighborhood, really.
But, uh... i wouldn't advise doing it late at night.
Are you more of a first-thing- in-the-morning kinda guy?
So, what do you do when you're not drinking, uh, ice coffees?
Wait. Let me guess.
You have a strong jaw,
brown hair, chocolate eyes...
you like helping people.
Your work is about problem-solving,
and sometimes... you have to take your work home with you.
Kinda like homework.
Sometimes you have to look at your work intensely.
A lot of hand motions like, uh... like this.
Wow. Uh, you're good.
You're a gynecologist.
Almost. Uh, i'm a teacher.
- Really? - Yeah.
Wow. That's great.
So, uh, we forgot to do the ritual. Shake hands?
Oh. Right.
Shall we?
Of course.
Mmm. Strong, uh... strong grip.
I wonder why we do it.
- Shake hands? - Yeah.
I've never seen any other animals do it.
I guess it's better than sniffing asses. Right?
I'd like to see some politicians doing that on their campaign.
Having to sniff hundreds of asses to get votes?
Absolutely. Yeah.
Well, um...
it was nice to meet someone who wasn't acting.
And, uh, well, i hope you have a great stay here. And, uh...
i'll think about the gynecology. Maybe there's an opening for me.
Uh, daniel?
I don't mean to sound weird, but, uh...
do you think you could give me a ride to where i'm staying?
It's not... it's not far from here.
I just... it's just that it's... it's getting dark soon,
and, you know, you said that i shouldn't walk.
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Hey, uh, daniel? Can i, uh... can i come clean with you?
i find you very attractive.
Thank you. Me, too.
You find yourself attractive?
No. You know what i mean. I, uh...
i feel the chemistry.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Well, i...
you know what? It doesn't matter.
I'm only in town for one more night.
Warm in here. Right?
Maybe you should take these off.
Oh, shit.
- Is that mine? - No. It's-lt's mine.
Hey, pops. W-w-what's the matter?
You sound different. Where are you?
I'm in the car in l.a. It's my father.
Tell him i say hi.
Who's that?
I'm with a new friend.
- Tell him you taste great. - Sh.
Are you coming back soon?
Because i thought we were going for a walk.
Yeah. We will.
I cut my neck.
Your neck?
Are you okay? Is it bad?
i have to... i gotta go.
I'm sorry.
Look. I, uh... i understand.
I'm sorry. It's just...
it's my dad. You know?
No. Sure. Look, uh...
this was a mistake. I'm sorry.
I hope your dad's okay.
Look. I can still drive you to wherever you...
no, no. Uh, no. You know what? I...
i better walk, 'cause i-i gotta call him back.
He's, uh... he's-he's by himself at home.
Thank you, though.
- Bye. - Good-bye.
I'm not a man anymore.
I've lost my independence.
I know my...
memory is slowly...
slipping away like water down the drain.
Stop it.
Sometimes i feel like i'm slipping away.
I wish i had a plug, moon.
All my... knowledge.
I spent a lifetime learning. All my experiences.
What for?
It's all just slowly going down the drain.
Pops, what are you talking about? Stop it.
Listen. You're great.
Okay? Maybe you need to be more social.
- Go out on a few dates. - Dates?
You're still handsome. You know that?
I can never be disloyal to your mother.
Hey. Why don't you watch tv? The news is on.
News? There is no news, kiska.
It's all olds.
- Hey. - Hey. Your room.
Well... i'm single now.
Goddamn it.
Back to serial dating.
To get a woman to cheat,
you need to be more time-intensive.
You know? You need to seduce them and put in quality time.
I think it boils down to anatomy.
Men have a dick and they are sticking it into something.
It's less personal.
Women, you're inviting them into your body. That's very personal.
But it's also the emotional aspect of it.
Women need a reason to cheat.
Men need a reason not to.
I guess you could say we both had a revelation that day.
I felt a calling, like i was meant to do this.
At least for a while.
And it's really weird, because...
there's some connection between what i've been doing and this new job.
So, i've taken out this ad. Tell me what you think.
The s. I.a.
The sex intelligence agency.
"Do you need the services of the s. I.a.?
"Are you sure your lover's faithful?
Will they pass the test?"
My phone has been ringing off the hook.
My answering machine's about to have a hernia. I kid you not.
I've taken interviews from all kinds of people.
Okay. So, i've been married nine years,
but he's at the office very late every single day.
And you have to ask yourself, how much work is there to do?
I just want to know if he'd cheat on me with a woman.
You know? I mean...
that would be the ultimate betrayal.
He's always on his cell phone.
But, if we are out, he is never answering it.
He just lets it ring. It is forever ringing.
I am worried that my wife might give it up to a man with more money.
With hair.
Who's got... breasts.
He doesn't even have a fucking job.
I've been supportin' his ass for months.
Whatever. It doesn't matter. Just, i need to know.
Do you take checks?
I've been tryin' to get myself prepared to provide
a more professional service.
For instance...
how much do i charge?
Is-ls a grand too much?
I mean, what is this type of information worth?
Anyhow, i've got three s.i.a. Jobs lined up for this week.
How does that work, the video shirt-button cam?
- Oh. - What is that?
Actually, um, i-i-i'm new here.
This is my uncle john's store...
- is he here? - Yeah.
- Uncle john? - Oh, perfect.
I mean john.
We try not to be all family...
- be a professional. I hear you. - Yeah.
- Hello. - Hello.
Uh, can you tell me how to... how does that work right there?
'Cause that looks...
- the button camera? - Yeah.
Oops. Excuse me, jason.
- It's basically a black-and-white camera. - Mm-hmm.
Lines coming out feed into your video deck that you wear,
giving you about 420 lines of resolution.
That is perfect.
Okay. So, i have the spy-cam built into my cap.
I spent all night trying to set it up and rig it
so it can be viewed from the emblem.
Look at this. It's got a little camera here with the antenna.
See? And then it clips right in there.
Like that.
Okay. Here we go.
I've been going backwards and forwards about
whether or not i should re-sign with primal for another year.
It's not that i have any ill feelings towards the industry.
And the money's guaranteed to support me and pops.
But it's just that business is really taking off.
And i'm the one calling all the shots.
I'm directing now,
and i've got clients coming out of the woodwork.
I would like to be so bold as to get you to come a little closer.
And place my hand that's moist,
feel the firmness of your skin.
Inner thigh.
And then gently, slightly move over a little higher.
Does that feel good?
Because if it... if it feels offensive,
i'll stop and chop that hand off.
I don't have a problem with that.
I can't say it doesn't feel good.
'Cause i gotta be honest with you.
I am married. Human.
I love my wife very much and i am never gonna leave her.
This is just about sex, pure and simple.
Pure sex.
You still down with that?
Moon, what're you doin' right now?
Hey, cheyenne. What's goin' on?
I need to talk.
Will you meet me later?
Yeah. Okay. When?
- Meet me at the... at the clinic at six. - What're you, pregnant?
Just meet me there. All right?
Yeah. Okay. All right.
- Oh, thank god you're here. - Hey, baby. I'm sorry i'm late.
What's wrong? What's with all the urgency?
You remember that scene that we did in april with steve kellis?
- Mm-hmm. - We both did a scene with him.
Yeah. So?
Kobi found out that he's come down with aids.
Excuse me?
Why do you think i asked you to meet me here?
I took my test. I'm waiting for the results.
- You need to get yours. - Wait...
i'm freaking out here.
Calm down. All right?
I saw the certificate with my own eyes.
So did i. He faked it.
He-he probably paid some bent doctor to sign it off.
I don't know.
Son of a dick.
All right. Just to fill you in on the whole testing thing,
five years ago when i started in the industry,
they were still using the old hiv test,
the eliza test, which has a three-month window.
Now, thank god, they're using the dna test by pcr,
which only has a 24-hour window.
You get tested every 30 days.
Hello, moon?
- Yeah. - Hi.
Your friend cheyenne, here, made an appointment for you.
And we're ready for you. Can you follow me?
Hello guys. Looking good.
Everybody's in blue jeans. What's with this?
Mr. A.?
I'll be right there.
All right, guys. Have a good time.
Have yourself some food. Not too much. Don't wanna gain weight.
What's up, guys? Keep it goin'.
What's up?
What's the matter?
I-i need to talk to you.
In private.
I don't know what i was thinkin'. 20 guys?
Three's my limit.
You gotta have your limits. Right?
I mean, it's like drinking. You know when you've had enough.
You have no choice.
I already paid the guys, paid the camera crews,
paid all the advertising.
Crying is not an option here.
We need to be adults.
That's why they call it the adult film business,
and this is business, and we've gotta be professionals.
This was your idea.
- Yeah, but... - now, don't make me angry.
I don't like getting angry.
I scare myself when i get upset.
Look. I'll give you another nine grand,
and i'll co-sign for that new suv that you like.
The eskimo.
It's an escalade.
The escalade.
We're on the same team. Remember?
Here. Look.
I'll give you a little bump. Get you back on track.
Okay? Come on.
I still can't do it.
Now! Okay? You're not hearing me!
Moon, did you hear what i said?
What? Oh...
wouldn't it be nice to have a boyfriend for once?
Look, kip, i don't know if i believe in monogamy.
You know? I mean...
i just... i just think that maybe
humans were not meant to be monogamous.
I-i think that it's... it's not in our nature.
Men, i can see how they
could have the urge not to be monogamous.
Their whole function was designed
to hunt and plant their seed.
I mean, isn't that what you're tryin' to do right now?
Hunt me down so you can seed me?
But god forbid i have a sexual thought about a porn star.
- Welcome to the house. - Oh, thank you.
Did you say hello to our congregation yet?
Uh, no. Not with the verbals.
Well, don't be shy.
Trust me, girl. I am not the shy type.
I love the money. The money's been good to me.
Now the sister is rollin' in beverly hills.
You know, i don't even really know who i'm kidding.
I have a 20-second sex loop that runs through my mind endlessly.
I think all men do. I know all men do.
But i don't think i would have sex with you now, even if you were offering.
Or anyone else for that matter.
You wouldn't?
I mean, don't get me wrong.
There is nothing that i would like more than to grab you
and spin you around and make you scream like a banshee.
A banshee?
I think you get the point.
Yeah. I do get the point.
I'll wait for you.
I don't judge you at all for...
being a porn star, or for having been a porn star.
These people that do judge you,
i think they're the same people who run off and...
cheat on their so-called committed relationships.
But you're honest.
And if i wanna have sex, then...
i'll just have sex with myself.
- You would do that for me? - Yeah.
I've got enough personalities to last me for a little while.
- I'm glad you made it up here. - Mmm.
You know what? It doesn't do very much for my ego though,
gettin' turned down by a porn star.
Wanna get that?
- Well, don't take it personally. - Yeah. Please.
Yeah. Can you tell me over the phone?
Yeah. Okay. I'll come in.
Kiska, where are you?
Dr. Bax, extension 456.
Dr. Bax, extension 456.
You are one of the most well-known porn stars
on video and the internet.
Certainly in the u.s., and now more around the world.
Some view you as the first true internet star.
But honestly, do you like what you do?
Cheyenne? Moon? I'm ready for you.
Can we go in together?
I think that'd be a good idea.
You guys can go ahead and, uh, take a seat.
You guys are both so young.
I hate to go through this whole thing with you.
Take a deep breath.
You're both negative.
I love you, moon.
Oh, i love you too.
I hope you guys are gonna be more careful so we don't have to go through this again. Okay?
- Yeah. - Condoms every time.
- Yes. - One on every finger.
- Oh, my god. - Be careful. Take care of yourself. Okay?
Just do me a favor.
If you say you're gonna do something, do it.
If you can't get the tires, call me.
Either way, it doesn't matter.
Let me know what the hell's going on.
Okay. Thank you. I'll speak to you later. All right. Good.
- Hi. - How you doin'?
- You all right? - I'm fine.
You got some nice cars out there.
Thank you.
This is gonna sound like a pickup. Do i know you?
No. I don't think so.
Are you sure?
I feel like i know you.
No. I don't think so. I never forget a face.
Um, can i ask you? I wanted to know about the buick.
It's a great car. It's a '63 riv.
Does it have any rust?
- It's dry as a bone. - Where's it from?
It's a cali car. It's always lived here.
Nice. What about the engine?
It's a 401 nailhead.
- It's a nailhead? - That's right.
- Okay. - You know your shit?
I used to work on cars with my dad.
Yeah. It's a good car.
How much do you want?
We're asking ten nine, but i mean,
we could always negotiate a little bit today.
What's the best you could do? For me?
I could take off... a thousand, 1,500.
Look. I'll be honest with you. Okay?
Um, i have five.
Thousand? You have $5,000?
You know, there's a bicycle shop down the street.
- What if i give you five gs, - yeah.
And... and i'll make up the difference.
What do you mean? I'm-i'm-i'm...
i can't sell you that car for $5,000.
You know that.
So what do you want? What do you mean?
What're you trying to do to me? I'm trying to run a business.
You and me can work something out... between the two of us.
What do you say?
No one else needs to know about it.
Can i get some water?
Yeah. You can have a drink of water.
Let me see your tongue.
What turns you on? Huh?
- Humor. - What?
- Humor. - Humor?
You like jokes?
- Uh-huh. - Here's a good joke.
What's the difference...
between a slut... and a bitch?
A slut'll sleep with anyone,
- and a bitch... - yeah?
Will sleep with anyone but you.
You can use that.
You like that?
You must know a lot of bitches.
I do know a lot of bitches.
But you're a little slut. Right?
Is that what you want? Huh?
Is that what you want?
You like that?
You like that?
Wait. Oh, my...
listen. Wait. Stop...
can i go to the bathroom real quick?
I'm just gonna go to the bathroom really quick. Okay?
I'll be right back. I'll be back.
I'll be right back.
Come here, come here, come here, come here...
- let me see your tongue. - What?
I'll be right... i'll be right back.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Shit. Come on.
You okay?
Yeah. I just drank a lot of water. You know?
Can i watch you?
Do me a favor. Don't, um...
don't, uh, overstuff the toilet, 'cause...
that toilet overflows.
Hey. You okay in there?
Yeah. I'll be right out.
All right?
All right?
Where you goin'?
Look. I have to go. Okay?
I'm sorry, i, uh, i just realized that i was late,
and, um...
i'm gonna come back. All right?
We can still work somethin' out for the car. Right?
I'm gonna come back for the car. Okay?
I'm... i'm gonna come back. I gotta go.
At least give me a kiss good-bye or somethin'.
I... i'm gonna go.
Just-just hold on a second.
Just be honest with me. W-what are you doin' here?
Look at me.
How you doin'?
My name's terry.
Why are you leavin' so fast?
'Cause i think you're full of shit.
Did i do somethin' wrong?
No. Look. I...
if you don't want me to pull your hair, i won't.
No. Look...
did somebody put you up to this?
Why are you leaving out of my fucking window?
What are you doin'?
I'm a sex...
i'm a sex investigator.
What the fuck is that?
Look... okay. I...
i was hired by your wife.
To see if you'd stay faithful.
I'm sorry.
My wife told you to do this?
My wife paid you to do this?
Did my wife tell you that...
that i have a family?
Did she tell you that we have a son?
He's beautiful. Right?
He looks just like my wife. Right?
I'll give you more money than her.
Because if you tell my wife, she's gonna take my son away.
Are you gonna go tell my wife?
I don't know. Okay?
I don't know. I'm gonna think about it.
- Fuckin' cunt! - I gotta go.
You think that you're gonna ruin my fuckin' family?
Is that what you're gonna do?
Where you from?
You think that i won't find out where you are?
Ruin my fuckin' life, you little fuckin' cunt?
No no no...
fuckin' bitch!
Let go!
You fucking cunt!
You dumb cunt.
Open the door.
Open the door!
- Ah! - Open the fucking door you sneaky bitch!
You wanna fuck around?
You stay away from me, bitch!
You understand me?
You stay away from my family!
You sneaky bitch!
I'll break your fuckin' head!
You wanna fuck around?
Huh? Open this fuckin' door!
You wanna ruin my fuckin' family?
You stay away from my family!
Shit. Please be home, please be home, please be home...
Oh, my god.
You okay? Is everything okay?
I don't know what i'm doing anymore.
I don't...
- i don't know if i'm hurting people. - It's okay.
Slow down.
Tell me what's goin' on.
I don't know what i'm doing to peoples' lives.
- I, uh... - moon...
you're not doing anything to anyone's life. Okay?
M-maybe this is what you need.
For the first time in your life you're starting to feel.
You're starting to let someone in.
It's all right.
I'm sorry.
I, uh...
sh. Don't say anything, moon. It's okay.
You should... you're letting me in.
I-i can see that now. Y-you've got all these...
fucking walls up, and you're so impenetrable, and...
and it's scary.
Look. I just...
i don't, i don't...
moon, moon, please don't go.
Why don't you stay here?
No. You know what? I'm gonna come back. Uh, i'm gonna...
- what do you have to think about? - I have to...
could this be any more real?
Right here.
You're gonna run away from this?
Uh, i gotta go.
I don't know what i'm doing.
I don't know what i'm doing with my life. I don't know.
I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm here.
Pops? Po... pops?
Shit, pops.
Hey you guys?
- Have you seen an old man walking around? - No.
Look, officer. He likes to get dressed-up when we go out.
Maybe he was wearing his blue suit. I don't know.
Okay. Yes. I understand.
Yes. Thank you.
Police. Open up.
- What? - Pops.
Is this your father?
- Yes. It's my dad. - Please step back.
- Um um um... - sir, just stand right here.
- Officer... - ma'am,
stand back and listen.
- Sir, please. - What?
Somebody called, thought he was a pervert.
He was goin' up to people sayin' "kiss her."
- Kiska. - He was...
he couldn't remember where he lived,
- officer, listen. - Couldn't remember his name.
I live here. I'm goin' in.
He was saying kiska. It's what he called my mom.
It means "kitten" in russian.
He had a breakdown after my mother died.
I understand. If you're gonna take care of him,
take care of him, before something serious happens.
- I'm not sure i like your tone of voice. - Absolutely.
I could kick your ass.
- Here are his clothes. - Thank you.
- Take him inside. - He probably hasn't eaten yet. Thank you.
Do you know how worried i was?
- Give me a hug. Come here. - I'm gonna go to bed now.
A man can't walk around without gettin' arrested anymore.
I'm goin' to bed. Good night.
Hi, moon.
Hi, mr. Aronson.
Getting a little concerned around here.
Haven't seen you in a while.
Have you, uh...
signed that contract yet?
No, not yet. No. I've, um...
is it the money?
If that's a problem, i mean,
just let me know.
No. Nothing's wrong. I've just, uh...
why don't you come in? We can talk about it. Huh?
Got wonderful ideas for you.
Yeah, sure. I'll come in.
Yeah. I promise.
Love you, moon. Bye, now.
Turn around, girls.
How old are you?
Let me see your i.d.
Where'd you get this made? Kinko's?
How old are you really?
I can't have you doing intercourse. That's illegal.
I mean, believe it or not, uh, i have principles.
I might be able to... you know,
put you in the web house, and you could play with yourself
occasionally and... give oral.
Do you like giving head?
Why do you wanna do this?
She... she wants to be on the internet. You know?
Um... be famous.
- Like in the real world. - Uh-huh.
- Like in the real world. Yeah.
Will i get paid?
the muhammad ali of porn.
The james joyce. The rolls royce.
Can i talk to you?
Today, everybody wants to talk.
Ladies, would you wait outside for a minute?
Have you come to sign the contract?
You know i want the best for you.
And we know there's only one moon.
remember... five years ago?
You were sitting there just like those girls.
Go ahead. Smoke.
And look at you now.
You're a superstar.
With us behind you...
your star's only gonna get better and bigger.
I mean, you'll become a galaxy.
That's not what i want. I want to be on my own.
Your... your own?
But you're...
you're part of a family here. I mean, you need to...
i don't need.
It's my body.
Oh, moon.
You're like a daughter to me.
You... came in here a little girl.
Now you're a woman.
That's just it.
I'm a woman now.
you take care of yourself.
Moon, i got a dream.
The... the internet.
It's private and raw.
I'm gonna create internet sex houses
where guys and girls are filmed day and night
having sex, taking showers, on the toilet, everything.
Bring out the voyeur in all of us.
Web cameras everywhere.
And you, moon,
if you want it,
you're going to be my internet sex star.
My superstar.
- I knew i recognized you from somewhere. - Jesus.
You what? You didn't think that i was gonna track you down?
- Look, i... - huh? You didn't think...
Where the fuck are you goin'?
You think i wouldn't track you down?
Huh? You had to tell her. Huh?
You had to fuckin' go and tell her.
- I couldn't lie to her. - You couldn't lie?
You couldn't... you couldn't lie?
You couldn't lie?
You fuck men for money, and you couldn't lie? Huh?
- I quit. - No. You don't quit.
- Yes, i... - you didn't fuckin' quit.
You don't quit until i tell you.
I don't have anything.
You know what you did to me?
You know what you did to my fuckin' family?
I got nothin' now.
You're gonna make it better for me.
You're gonna make this shit better.
You're gonna fix this shit.
Fuck you.
You fuckin' owe me.
Don't you resist me.
I'll break your fuckin' face.
You fucked me.
And i'm gonna fuck you.
You owe me.
You wanna fuckin' fight me?
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do? Huh?
I know all about you and your cripple father.
I saw him through the window. Yeah.
You wanna learn what it's like to lose somebody? Huh?
You wanna learn about that shit?
Huh? Huh?
You still wanna fight me?
Uh! Oh! Ah! Oh!
I'm not looking for any more answers.
I'm not looking for any more truth.
The truth is, i don't know what i'm looking for.
But you know what?
I'm not gonna wait until i die
to find out if there's reincarnation.
We can reincarnate while we live. Right?
Hey. Jump in.
How you doin'?
I'm okay.
TLF - The In-Laws
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