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Undefeated The (Andrew V McLaglen 1969)

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¶¶[ Bugle Call ]
[ Men Whooping ]
[ Whooping Continues ]
[ Man ] Fire!
[ Grunts ]
[ Horse Neighing ]
[ Grunts, Groans ]
Bugler, sound recall!
[ Man Approaching On Horse ] It's over!
It's over!
Corporal Clemens, sir, from Masters' Brigade at Dante's Crossroads!
Who gave you permission to come ridin' across the face of my command yellin' like a fool?
- Have you got a message for me from General Masters? - Yes, sir.
- Deliver it! - That's it, sir!
- The war is over! - [ Men Cheering ]
Lee surrendered to General Grant in Virginia-- a place called Appomattox Courthouse!
- When? - Three days ago, sir!
[ Cheering Continues ]
Three days, huh?
General Masters just got word himself, Colonel Thomas!
Our wires were down! With your permission, sir!
Rig up a flag of truce, Blue Boy!
- Short Grub? - Yo!
Let's go!
I be a sergeant, sir! Can I be of any service to y'all?
I'd like to talk to your commanding officer!
Who be givin' orders today,Jim?
Yes, sir?
I've just received word that Lee surrendered to Grant three days ago!
- Yes, sir! - You knew it?
We received the news yesterday!
I don't think you understand, Major! The war is over!
No, sir!
Are you telling me that you intend to keep fighting?
- Haven't we just proven it? - But why?
Because this is our land, and you're on it!
We're all Americans!
Yes, sir! That's always been the saddest part of it!
- Good day, sir! - Colonel.
Thank you for your courtesy!
Come on!
- Captain Anderson! - Here, sir!
General Robert E! Lee surrendered! Am I right?
Yes, sir!
That means that officially we no longer exist as an armed body,
yet everywhere I look here today I see armed men!!!
wearing uniforms and flying the battle flag!
- Get it down! - Yes, sir!
Yes, sir?
- Take down the flag! - Yes, sir!
All right, people, now listen to me, all of you!
We have about 2,000 miles to go!
Seven hundred of them are between here and the Mexican border!!!
and through a Yankee occupation army!
We are not gonna give the lowliest blue belly we meet along the way!!!
any reason to suspect we're anything but a band ofhomeless pilgrims.
Until we cross the Rio Grande, arms and ammunition will remain in the bottom of the wagons!
You men pack those uniforms away and wear regular clothing.
The poorer looking, the better.
Now, once across the border, we still have another 500 miles to go!!!
before we reach a town called Durango!
There we will be met by representatives of Emperor Maximilian!!!
who will escort us to Mexico City!
- Captain Anderson! - Sir?
- We leave at midnight! - Yes, sir!
[ Soldiers Singing ] ¶Hurrah, boys, hurrah ¶
¶Down with the traitor Up with the star ¶
¶ Oh, we'll rally 'round the flag, boys ¶
¶ We'll rally once again ¶
¶Shouting the battle cry of freedom ¶
¶ We will rally from the hillside ¶
¶ We'll gather from the plain ¶
¶Shouting the battle cry of freedom ¶
¶ The Union forever Hurrah, boys, hurrah ¶
¶ Down with the traitor Up with the star ¶
¶ While we rally 'round the flag, boys ¶
¶ Rally once again ¶
¶ Shouting the battle cry of freedom ¶
- ¶¶ [ Union Song Continues ] - ¶ I wish I was in the land of cotton ¶
¶ Old times there were not forgotten ¶
¶ Look away, look away Look away, Dixie Land ¶
¶ In Dixie Land where I was born ¶
¶ Early on one frosty mornin' Look away, look away ¶
¶ Look away, Dixie Land ¶
¶ I wish I was in Dixie Hooray, hooray ¶
¶In Dixie Land I'll take my stand ¶
¶ To live and die in Dixie ¶
¶Away, away Away down south in Dixie ¶
¶Away, away Away down south in Dixie ¶¶
Ah, Mrs! Langdon! My name is Benedict!
Thad Benedict, late of Pittsburgh, but now of Natchez!
This here's my partner, Jimmy Collins!
Word's goin' around, Mrs! Langdon,
that you people are of a mind to put your place up for sale!
- Is that right? - I beg your pardon, sir, but I'm the sister-in-law!
I believe you want to speak to Mrs!James Langdon!
Ah, Mrs!James Langdon! Thad Benedict is my name!
I was just telling your sister-in-law here we heard the place is up for sale!
- Is that right? - No, that is not right, Mr! Benedict!
Aw, come on, ladies, we've come all the way from Natchez!!!
just to make you people a handsome offer.
Mind if I get down?
Yes, she does. And so do I.
My father restin' over there-- he minds too!
Well, well, well, well! You must be Colonel Langdon!
James Langdon?
Well, uh, Colonel, I'm here to do you a favor!
Well, let's see now! Uh!!! Langdon Hall Plantation!
Ah, yes, here it is! Fifteen hundred acres!
Is that right?
Six hundred acres bottomland, four hundred in pasture and five hundred in woods!
Two streams, three ponds with a two-and-a-half mile riverfront!
[ Chuckles ] Nice place!
Thank you kindly!
I imagine the house could use a little work, though, huh?
It could stand it!
Yeah! Well, I'll just have a look inside!
We just swept the floor, Mr! Benedict!
You understand?
I'll give you 50 cents an acre! That's my top offer!
You buzzards, you come down here lookin' to get fat on the misfortune of others!
This house is not for sale!
Not now, not next year, not ever!
- Colonel, we are businessmen! - You're trash!
Well, well! You're a right plain-talkin' gentleman, ain't you?
You hear what the man said,Jimmy? Trash!
All right, who's gonna pick your cotton,
and who's gonna plow up all that bottomland out there?
And who's gonna chop the wood when it gets cold?
Now, now,Jimmy! No need to get uppity with the colonel!
Sixty cents an acre! Take it or leave it!
-Just like that, huh? -Just like that!
If I was you, I'd grab it!
We're gonna get it anyway, you know!
We'll get the house and every last acre of land when they put it up for taxes!
Oh, I see!
And, uh, how do you know it will be put up for taxes, Mr! Benedict?
You went busted outfittin' that rebel regiment of yours!
Now, what do you say?
Sixty cents!!! or nothin'!
[ Horse Neighing ]
Hyah! Hyah! [ Whooping Continues ]
This belonged to Granddaddy Langdon, Horace!
I think maybe he'd want you to have it!
Thank you, sir!
- Little George! - Yes, sir?
- Bring along that anvil and as many tools as you can carry! - Yes, sir!
Colonel, anybody goin' with us talk that there Mexican?
Why don't you stop lookin' at me?
I can't, Charlotte!
I just can't keep my eyes off you!
Well, you make me uneasy, Bubba Wilkes, so stop it!
You know, I've asked you a dozen times to marry me, and you've never answered!
I'm too young to marry!
No girl who looks the way you do is too young to marry!
Well, I am! If you don't believe me, you can ask my daddy!
Ask your daddy! Your daddy knows there's no man better suited to marry you--
Maybe you'd better go on up to the house and help your mother!
Maybe you'd better go on up to the house and help your mother!
- You're a good junior officer, Bubba Wilkes! - Thank you, sir!
- Don't let anybody tell you you're not! - No, sir!
But as a young man!!!
with a desire for my daughter's hand!!!
you're pitiful!
It embarrasses me to watch you!
- I don't understand, sir! - You sure don't!
You let moonlight and magnolia blossoms go to your head,
and you forget the real purpose of your mission!
[ Thomas ] Don't tell me I can't resign,Joe.
I volunteered into this outfit, and I'll volunteer out!
There's still a lot of work to be done!
Not for me, there isn't! I came into this thing!!!
three years ago with 7 5 volunteers, all good riders!
Do you know how many of those men are left?
No, but I imagine you're going to tell me!
Well, if you'll look out this window, you'll see ten!
Two of them won't make Christmas!
I still can't understand what those men have to do with you resigning!
They didn't join the army,Joe! They joined me!
For three years I've watched them fall,
and not one of'em quit and not one of'em deserted!
Those that are left deserve more than a pat on the back!!!
from some newspaper editor, and I'm gonna see that they get it!
The army needs horses! Well, there's plenty of horses in the Territory--
wild horses in Arizona and New Mexico-- and we're goin' after them!
- And sell them to the army? - We're sure as hell not gonna give 'em to the army!
All right! Write out a letter of resignation, and I'll see that--
You came in mighty handy a few times!
Take care of yourself! We may need you again,John Henry!
You'll have a hard job finding me,Joe!
Where to,John Henry?
Short Grub, I've been tryin' for three years to get you to call me ''Colonel!''
Now it's too late!
- Where to,John Henry? - West!
- The barn's yours, Newby! - Yes, sir!
Good-bye, old lady!
How come you know they're gonna get in here today?
'Cause I told him to be here today, that's why!
Where do you think you're gonna mail that thing, Solomon?
There's a Pony Express, ain't there? Somewhere!
Still a long ways to Oklahoma,John Henry!
- Anything could happen! - Not to Blue Boy, it won't!
Come on, tightwad, give me a chew!
Wait a minute, Baker! I've only got one left!
- Come on, give me that! - Hey, that's too big! Come on!
Give me that!
Give me that! That's my last one!
Come on now, Frank! I gave you a chew!
All right, I've had it! Give me that, Frank!
- Give me that! Give me that! - Hey! Hey!
[ Baker ] Well, I'll be damned. Lookie yonder.
[ Whooping ]
Hello, Two Toes! How's your wife?
- What, again? - Cold winter!
- How are you, McCartney? - Mister McCartney!
John Henry, the least you can do after I come all this way is say hello!
- Hello, Mr! McCartney! - I broke my butt to get here! You can show me some respect!
- Your cookin' still as bad as I remember it? - You go to hell!
You still got that mangy old cat?
High Bred-- finest partner I ever had!
Cleans his paws and buries his leavings!
Lot more than some folks I know!
- Any trouble? - No! Lost track of time, though!
I reckon I'm a day early or a day late!
You're four days late, but they don't know it! How are things at home?
Bad, like everywhere else, I guess!
Yeah! Well, I guess we better get organized!
[ Horses Neighing ]
[ Whooping, Whistling ]
Don't lose those two over there!
Get 'em all!
[ Whooping Continues ]
[ Indistinct Shout ]
Take your time. I'll have McCartney send you some grub.
That'll be damn nice of you! I hope I can do the same for you sometime!
[ Horse Neighs ]
[ Sighs ]
Tough way to make a few dollars!
Fighting the damn war was a hell of lot easier than this!
Not too close, Mudlow! Might be catchin'!
It ain't right, you folks holdin' anger on me!!!
just because I wouldn't join your blamed old army!
- Go on, get! -Just mean!Just mean folks!
Charlotte, I'd like to talk to you tonight after supper!
After it's dark, you mean?
All you want to do is hold me and hug me and kiss my lips!
Is there somethin' wrong with that?
Well, a young lady's lookin' for a mite more these days!!!
than huggin' and holdin' and kissin'!
She's lookin' for somethin' a teensy bit more substantial!!!
than periphery and trimmings!
Like what, Charlotte?
I've said all I'm gonna say, Bubba Wilkes!
Well? Will you walk out with me after supper?
Walk out? Walk out in these dreadful swamps where--
where I could get eaten by a tiger or somethin'?
Oh, you must've lost your foolish mind, Bubba Wilkes!
And it just goes to prove you don't have any true regard for me whatsoever!
A tiger?
[ Horses Neighing ]
The first good grass you come to, give 'em a rest!
- All right,John Henry! - We'll be back around sundown!
See'd your dust all day! What you drivin'? Buffalo?
Stage arrived yet?
It's overdue! I ain't askin' 'cause I don't care!
But if your name's Thomas, there's a couple of popinjays waitin' inside to see you!
They've been here for two days now!
I give 'em water the first day, and they tooken root!
- Government agents? - I ain't asked! They ain't said!
Are you the gentlemen that were looking for me?
You are MonsieurJohn Henry Thomas?
You have me at a disadvantage!
I am Monsieur Pierre Petain!
This is my companion, Señor Luis Escodero!
We have the honor to represent the emperor Maximilian of Mexico!
Won't you have a chair, Monsieur Thomas?
Well, thank you, no! We're waiting for the stage--
We understand you have many horses!
- Is that correct, Mr! Thomas? - It could be!
We have been authorized by the emperor to purchase all you can supply!
Well, I'm afraid you gentlemen have made a long trip for nothing!
My horses are going to the United States Army!
But, Mr! Thomas, we'll buy the whole herd, sight unseen!
Top dollar, if you drive them to Mexico!
- All expenses paid! - Stagecoach is comin'!
I'm sorry, gentlemen! Our army needs them!
Pardon me!
Whoa! Pedro Flats!
- Mr! Thomas? - That's right!
My name is D!J! Giles, and this is my associate, Mr! Ezra Parker!
- Howdy! This is Short Grub! - We're out of the U!S! Army purchasing office at Fort Clark,
and we understand you have some horses to show us!
No, I have some horses to sell you!
Three thousand, to be exact, and it's the best herd you'll find anywhere!
Fine! Shall we go inside? Thank you!
We'll cull your herd tomorrow, Mr! Thomas,
as soon as our wranglers arrive from Brackettville!
I suppose that out of 3,000 head, we ought to able to find 500 or so that we can use!
- Our usual procedure is this-- -Just rein up a minute, Mr! Giles!
You're goin' a little fast for me! Do you mind trottin' through that again?
Not at all! I said that out of 3,000 head,
we might be able to find 500 or so that we can use!
You know, animals that meet our specifications!
Well, I have 3,000 for sale, not 500!
Well, surely you don't expect us to purchase!!!
just any old horse for the United States Army?
Well, now there just ain't ''any old horse'' in this whole herd!
You'll take 'em all or none!
Mr! Thomas, I'm sure you're aware of the fact!!!
that, uh, times are hard!
Maybe not as hard as you think!
The army's not that hungry for horse flesh!
This country is going through a period of reconstruction!
Money is in short supply! Hmm?
Who can you sell 'em to if not to us?
Monsieur Petain, hold up a minute there!
-Just for the record, what are you payin'? - Twenty-five dollars a head!
[ Thomas ] Last month it was 35.
[ Chuckles ] But this month it's $25 a head.
Well, these gentlemen have offered to take the whole barrel, sight unseen!
- Is that correct? - That's correct, Mr! Thomas!
- And what's your top offer? - Thirty-five dollars a head, of course!
You just bought yourself a herd! And you can tell Maximilian!!!
he won't find better animals between Montezuma and the Canadian border!
Just a minute!
You're selling horses to Maximilian!!!
in preference to your own country's army?
No, I'm selling horses for $3 5 in preference to 25!
You two figured to make $1 0 a head!
Are you calling us thieves?
Well, Mr! Parker, yes, that's a pretty accurate description!
Wait a minute! I didn't do anything!
You should've!
Read that message again, Sergeant!
''Eighteen rolling units with men, women and children!!!
''passed through Gladesville, Texas, 1 0:20 p!m! this date!
''Suspected Confederates! Probable destination, Mexico!
Detain, search and turn back!''
[ Imitating Bird Call ]
What do you make of that?
It seems I've heard that bird before, sir, at Missionary Ridge!
And if I'm not mistaken, that's a gray-bellied sapsucker!
[ Horse Neighing In Distance ]
[ Imitating Bird Call ]
[ Imitating Bird Call ]
- [ Whistles ] - [ Whooping ]
The river! Come on!
[ Man ] Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
[ Indistinct Shouting, Whooping, Whistling ]
[ Whooping Continues ]
Get your weapons!
Real sorry, Miss Ann! We didn't plan things this way!
Let 'em go, Sergeant!
McClarty, Gibbs! Turn 'em loose! Let 'em go!
Giddap! Hyah!
[ Indistinct Shouting ]
[ Cheering, Whooping ]
- Sir, I don't mean to-- - I know, Sergeant!
But if I can't have the whole dog, I don't want the tail!
Yes, sir!
[ Horses Neighing ]
We'll probably cross 'em at the old monastery, Eagle Pass!
Bon. Well, if we do not see each other again,
then we will rendezvous on the plain at Durango!
- Bon courage, Monsieur. - Thank you!
They are fine-looking animals, Mr! Thomas!
- The emperor will be pleased! - I hope he is!
But whether he is or whether he isn't,
you have the money there when the horses arrive!
[ Agreeing In French ]
What's troubling you?
Cavalry's comin' from Fort Clark!
Damn government agents!
Can they stop us?
Not if we get across that river, they can't!
Let's take 'em to Mexico!
Let's go!
[ Horses Neighing ]
Well, what are you waitin' for? Stop 'em!
Stop 'em!
We'll be mighty proud to stop 'em, Mr! Giles-- all 1 2 of us--
just as soon as you tell us how to go about it!
Mr! McCartney, when are we gonna have some meat?
Right now, if you want it!
Belly cheater!
High Bred, you know what good food is, don't you?
You mangy old cat!
- Hey, McCartney! - Mister McCartney!
There's somethin' crawlin' in these beans!
Well, you can speak to it, but don't play with it!!!
or else the others'll want one in their beans too!
Hold that plate!
Yes, sir, I can just feel that money in my pocket right now!
What are you gonna do with it when you get it?
Well, I had to give that a lot of good thought,
but I somehow ain't come to set right down on the notion yet!
[ Man ] I know what I'm gonna buy me-- some pack animals and traps.
Whatever's left over, I'm gonna get drunk!
And if I ever sober up again, I'm headin' for the Rockies!
Well, that might be fine for you, Whitt,
but me bein'better bred, I got higher ambitions.
Like what?
Like building a small library under a big elm someplace!
Me and High Bred's gonna go to St! Louis and open up a little cathouse!
[ High Bred Meows ]
- Everything quiet out there? - Would you believe it,John Henry?
- I had to wake two of the men! - Let's hope it stays that way!
You ain't expectin' trouble, are you,John Henry?
Trouble? Well, let's see!
We got Maximilian on one hand!!!
and Juarez on the other and bandits in between!
On top of that, we're Americans in Mexico!!!
taking a cavy ofhorses to a very unpopular government.
Why should we expect trouble?
How come you didn't tell us that aforehand?
How come you didn't ask me?
John Henry, there's a box canyon about four miles from here!
- Enough forage to fill 'em? - No, sir, but there's enough to hold 'em!
There's somethin' else! I rode across two trails!
One was wagons and horses! The second trail was many riders--
at least 40 and maybe 60.
The second trail ran just down the side of the first!
Well, if you were to tell me that a year ago!!!
in Virginia or Tennessee, I'd suspect ambush!
It looked that way to me!
- Short Grub! - Yo!
There's forage and water about four miles ahead in a box canyon!
Move 'em in there and hold 'em till we get back!
Where are you going,John Henry?
I don't believe it!
Pick up that bucket!
Well, howdy, Sergeant Newby!
Save your ''howdy'' for later,Jamison!
Right now let me see you start currying that horse!
- Yes, sir! -Just like old times, eh, Newby?
Just like old times, Colonel!
Riders approachin'
Two riders a-comin'!
We have company!
Good afternoon! My name's Thomas!
We're drivin' a herd of horses south,
just over the hill!
I'm ColonelJames Langdon! Mr! Thomas, what can I do for you?
Well, it isn't what you can do for us!
We came to warn you that you're probably riding into a bandit ambush!
Well, how do you happen to know that?
Well, Blue Boy here is a full-blooded Cherokee!
When he suspects somethin', you usually get it.
There's 40 to 60 riders moving parallel to you,
just out of sight.
Waitin' until we get into those hills?
That'd be my guess!
- What did you say your name was? -John Henry Thomas!
Don't I know you from somewhere?
To my knowledge, Colonel, we've never met before!
[ Sighs ] Well, we appreciate the warning, sir!
It's late! Will you and your friend join us for supper, stay the night?
Best offer we've had all day!
¶¶[ Bugle Call ]
There's nothin' like a full stomach!!!
for facin' the unknown future!
Well, I hate to be persistent, Colonel,
but, uh, I think the future is pretty certain!
I fully agree!
I think they'll give you a couple of days to get up into the hills before they strike!
If this was my outfit, I'd hold right here and make them come to me.
[ Langdon ] That's good thinkin'
I've never yet let the enemy choose the sight ofhis own destruction.
- I like to play in my yard! - What are these bandits after?
Gold, horses!!! women!
We had an experience or two with 'em before the... war.
Were you, perchance, in the war, Mr! Thomas?
Yes, Captain, I was!
Would it be brash and presumptuous of me to ask!!!
which side you were on, Mr! Thomas?
Well, I favor to think that I was on the right side, Mrs! Langdon!
I detect a shadow of animosity towards my question!
Could it be that you were a Yankee soldier?
What a question to ask a man!
Yes, ma'am, I was a Yankee soldier!
Mr! Thomas!!!
I'm about to make my rounds before I turn in tonight!
Would you care to accompany me?
Thank you, sir!
[ Horse Neighing ]
I suspected it when I saw those Union trousers on that Indian boy!
My son was killed by Union cavalry at Shiloh, Mr! Thomas!
We called it Pittsburgh Landing!
- You were there then? - I was!
May I ask your rank?
I was a colonel in that cavalry!
John Henry Thomas! Of course!
Well, you were on George Custer's right flank!!!
when you charged the breastworks at Madisonville, weren't you?
- We did a job that day, didn't we? - You were damn cruel!
Cruel? ThoseJohnny Rebs had 40-pounders looking right down our throats!
Did you think you were comin' to a ball? Sergeant!
Yes, sir!
If I can find the time, I'm gonna sit down and write the social history of bourbon!
Tell me somethin', Mr! Thomas!
Were you, by chance, at Chickamauga?
I ask because I lost my brother there-- Ann's husband!
I lost 23 in my command at Chickamauga--
friends and sons of friends,
men that I'd known all their lives!
- Now can I ask you a question, Colonel? - Fire one, Mr! Thomas!
Why did you come clear out here to continue a war that ended months ago in Virginia?
Because I'm a stubborn man! Does that satisfy you?
I got no taste for losin' to a lot of Yankee rabble!
- How about that? - It won't wash!
You can be a very aggravatin' man, Mr! Thomas!
- Sergeant! - Yes, sir!
Let's just say we haven't seen the end!
You'll see it quick enough if you keep drinkin' this stuff!
Excuse me, Colonel!
Help yourself!
[ Man Shouting ]
[ Little George ] The young 'uns, now. Come on over here.
You get over here with me right now!
Hurry, now! Get tucked away! Come on!
- Come on, now. - Mind a suggestion from a Platte River Indian fighter?
Why don't you arm your women? That's what we did on the Bozeman and California trail!
[ Wilkes ] Colonel!
[ Langdon ] All our night pickets come in yet?
All butJamison, sir!
- Well, go get him! - Carlyle! Little George!
It's Jamison, sir!
- All right! - Take him down, George!
Captain, issue a rifle to every woman knows how to use it!
Yes, sir! Carry on, Sergeant!
- Looks like he wants to talk! - We have nothing to talk about!
- Well, he's got you outnumbered! Let's start from there! - Finding ourselves outnumbered,
Colonel Thomas, is a fact of life we've gotten used to!
With women and children in the pot?
- I'll go, sir! - No!
The colonel and I will go!
Let's understand each other, Thomas!
Your Indian friend rode out of here last night with no explanation!
He hasn't returned! One false move on your part, and my men won't miss!
Friend, your men have been missin' me for years!
As far as that Indian boy is concerned, his father was Bold Eagle,
one of the bravest warriors that ever rode a horse.
And on top of that, he's my adopted son,
and I haven't done this much explaining in years.
- Don't press me, Captain! - Anderson!
Yes, sir!
Windage and elevation, Mrs! Langdon! Windage and elevation!
Buenos días, señores. Yo soy Escalante.
- Do you speak English? -Ah, sí.
I speak English most excellently!
- Then tell us what you want and be damned quick about it! - We want everything!
We're so poor, and we need so much!
I'm gonna ask you one more time! What do you want?
We want your wagons, your horses, your guns and your gold!
And you also have some women, señor.
- Is this fool serious? - You can bet your life on it!
- But it's preposterous! - Yeah!
- I have more ''mens'' than you! - If you wanna lose most of'em, you come right on ahead!
Otherwise, you'd better hightail your ass right on out of here!
- I'll fight a thousand of you before I give you a penny! - I was hoping you'd say that!
Is the flap on your holster snapped or unsnapped, my Confederate friend?
Snapped, my Yankee friend!
Well, I guess I'm his pigeon!
Hold your fire! Hold your fire!
[ Men Shouting, Indistinct ]
You went out there to talk! Why did you have to shoot the man?
The conversation kind of dried up, ma'am!
[ Indistinct Shouting, Whooping ]
- Fire! - [ Gunfire ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Man Shouts ]
Just like old times, huh, Colonel?
- [ Crying ] - Margaret!
- Margaret! - [ Sobbing ] I can't!
- [ Gunfire Continues ] - [ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Whinnying Continues ]
Colonel, behind you!
[ Gunfire Tails Off]
- Don't tell me they're leavin'! - No, ma'am!
They're reforming to charge again! Leastwise, that's their plan!
[ Gunfire ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
-[ Gunfire Continues ] - I'll be damned!
[ Battle Cries ]
[ Horses Whinnying ]
They're leavin' now, ma'am! That's Blue Boy's little surprise!
Well, I'll be damned!
Mrs! Langdon, the colonel-- your brother-in-law--
said you lost your husband during the war!
- Yes, Mrs! Thomas! - I'm sorry!
You didn't know him! Why should you be sorry?
My cavalry was in that engagement!
Colonel Thomas, I wanna thank you!
No thanks are necessary! They were our enemies as much as they were yours!
- Their own people shoot 'em on sight! - We're in your debt!
Colonel, why don't you take all these people and go on home?
There's no tellin' what you're gonna run into farther south!
In a day or two, we make contact with a military escort from Emperor Maximilian!
We are going home! It's ahead of us!
All right, Colonel!
[ Short Grub ] Who you wavin'at, Blue Boy? [ Laughs ]
[ Cowboy ] Hyah, hyah!
[ Shouts Continue ]
- Wanna tell me all about it? - I was thinkin' about that girl!
- What girl? - The Confederate colonel's daughter, Charlotte!
- She's a pretty girl! A little young, but pretty! - I want her!
- You want her? - And she wants me!
- How'd you figure that out? - You raised me to know,John Henry!
I taught you what to do when the snow comes, how to survive in a blizzard,
and I taught you how to deal with men, but women--
Nobody knows what's on a woman's mind!
Well, she wants me, and when we go home, she'll be with me!
[ Man Shouting, Indistinct ]
Anything wrong,John Henry?
Not yet!
[ Cowboy ] Yah,yah,yah,yah.
McCartney, give me a cup of coffee!
Never mind! I got his coffee!
This damn cinch is pretty near cut in half!
[ Hoofbeats Approaching ]
Man's coming,John Henry!
From Colonel Langdon, sir! I'm to wait for an answer!
We're in a new camp waiting for an escort from Maximilian!
There's a map on the other side! What's the matter?
Ain't you Yanks ever seen a live one before?
Last time I seen a pretty gray uniform like that,
it was all full of holes!
- Do you know what's in this, Sergeant? - Of course I know!
There must've been a few words in that camp before the colonel sat down and wrote this out!
Yes, sir! A lot of words! I thought Captain Anderson was gonna have apoplexy!
And how about you personally, Sergeant! What do you think about it?
Well, it ought to be right interesting!
- Anything wrong,John Henry? - You won't believe it,
but we've been invited to a Fourth ofJuly party!
[ Thomas ] We'll be on our best manners today!
- Glad you could join us! - [ Thomas ] Thank you, Colonel, for inviting us.
First time we've ever been invited to a Confederate shindig!
Well, I'm not surprised, all things considered! Get down!
- Thank you! - Get down, all of ya!
Well, we didn't intend to interrupt the festivities!
Well, what are y'all lookin' at? You ever seen a Yankee before? Just people!
Start playin'! Captain!
- Sir! - See that Colonel Thomas and his men are taken care of!
- Sir, I-- - They're our guests, Captain! Make sure they enjoy themselves!
Yes, sir! Wilkes!
I'm feelin' a little dry, Colonel! Would you care to join me, or don't you indulge?
Where's the sergeant? I'll risk it!
- [ Laughs ] Follow me! - Thank you!
You Yankee boys hungry? The captain appointed me to tend to you!
There's a mess of beans and ham up yonder, and there's some coffee and grits too!
- Grits? - I wouldn't touch 'em!
- Why not? - Might be unclean!
- Well, it will be a change in cooking! - I'll drink to that!
- Make yourself at home! I'll be right with you! - Thank you!
- Mrs! Langdon! - Mr! Thomas!
That's a mighty attractive dress! French, isn't it?
Yes! I bought it in New Orleans before the war!
Seldom had occasion to wear it since!
You surprise me, Mr! Thomas!
You have knowledge of ladies' fashions?
Well, I was once married, and I have knowledge of the cost of such things!
- Here you are, sir! A little sippin' liquor! - Ohh!
- Good! - Somewhat finer than what the sergeant provides!
[ Chuckles ]
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead!
- To your health! -Jimmy!
- Excuse me, Colonel Thomas! - Certainly!
Cousin Cora and that Sam-- Well, they're havin' another go-around!
- Oh, shoot! - Would you excuse us, please?
- Of course! - Colonel, here! Help yourself!
- You said that you were once married, Mr! Thomas! - Yes, ma'am!
But lucky for me, she left me!
I must say, Mr! Thomas, that whatever your faults are,
you do have a quaint kind of honesty!
Well, she was so busy being a lady that she forgot to be a woman!
It was Indian country, and she didn't like that.
It was cold in the winter, hot in the summer and dusty in the dry spells,
and she didn't like that!
And when I wanna go huntin' and fishin', I go huntin' and fishin',
and she didn't like that.
And I wanted children, and she didn't like that either!
- She didn't like much, did she? - She's happy now, I guess!
She's living in Philadelphia with her cat, givin' piano lessons!
[ Chuckles ] Won't you sit down, Mr! Thomas?
Thank you!
Is that Indian boy really your adopted son?
Yes, but I'm as proud of him as if he were my own blood!
-¶¶[ Fiddling Resumes ] - Charlotte?
- How old are you? - Sixteen!
Nobody ever looked at me the way you do!
-[ Wilkes ] Charlotte! - Oh, I'm gonna kill that Bubba Wilkes!
Why are you afraid to have someone see me kiss you?
Because-- Because what I feel is private!
I've never felt like this before,
and I want to keep it.
I want to keep it just like it is!
-¶¶[ Continues ] - Charlotte!
I believe you promised me the next set!
- They bitin'? - No!
Maybe you ain't holdin' your mouth right!
My name's Hughlock Mudlow! How are you fellas today?
Say, you wouldn't happen to have a little jug of whiskey on you?
They won't give me one! They won't talk to me 'cause I wouldn't join their army!
- Well, why wouldn't you join the army? - I didn't wanna get shot!
- [ Spits ] - Sure glad you fellas came over here today though!
I ain't had nobody to talk to in--
- Hey! -[ Cowboy ] Yah!
[ Men Shouting, Indistinct ]
[ Men Shouting, Indistinct ]
!!!two, three!
- Get him! - [ Men Shouting, Indistinct ]
- Y'all don't have to ask me twice! - Here goes another one!
[ Indistinct Chattering ]
- One, two, three! - Come on, boy!
- Any more takers? - You made your point, BobbyJoe! Let it go!
Begging the colonel's pardon!
You know, we got an Arkansas razorback that's just whupped everybody in our outfit!
Well, me and the boys was just wonderin' if maybe you had somebody might could take him!
Are you speaking of the manly art of self-defense, Sergeant?
Yes, sir! I'm here to tell ya! Root, hog or die-- no holds barred!
John Henry, it wasn't my idea! Trot him out!
- Little George never lost a fight! - Little George?
- He'd better have some meat on him! - You sure about this, BobbyJoe?
- Trot him out! - Well, go get him, Newby!
¶ Ring around the rosies a pocket full of posies ¶
¶ Ashes, ashes we all fall down ¶
[ All Chuckling ]
Tell me it ain't what I think it is!
I can't fight! I'm tired of hurtin' people!
This time, you gotta fight! You've got to uphold the honor of the outfit!
I can't!
Them blue bellies called you yellow!
You know I ain't no coward!
You young 'uns, you go on and play! Go on!
[ Children ] ¶Ring around the rosies a pocket full of posies ¶
¶Ashes, ashes we all fall down ¶
- You wait right here! Get you out of that blouse! - Yes, Sergeant!
Well, gentlemen, here he is!
[ Onlookers Murmuring ]
- You sure you wanna go through with this? - Biggest Reb I ever saw!
[ Thomas ] He's the biggest anything I ever saw.
Here! I'll write your folks!
Huh? Oh!
I'm right proud to meet ya! I'm Little George!
[ Onlookers Shouting, Indistinct ]
- Get him, BobbyJoe! He ain't tough! - He ain't?
This is fun, isn't it?
[ Shouting Continues ]
- Your man there is no coward! - But he's outnumbered!
- [ Growls ] - [ Man Whoops ]
[ Indistinct Shouting ]
Get in there, Yank! [ Laughing Hysterically ]
[ Yells ]
- No, it's me! - Oh!
Damn grits!
Well, it was bound to happen!
Bound to!
- I sure don't feel much like it! - No! Me neither!
- [ Man ] Go get him! -Just one fool thing after another!
Yep! It sure is!
[ Yells ]
Jimmy, can't you stop this?
Stop what? It just started!
[ Grumbles ]
- [ Yells ] -[ Yells ]
[ Yells ]
Thanks,John Henry!
- Well, now, I wouldn't call that exactly fair, would you? - No, I wouldn't!
- Oh, excuse me, sir! Ooh! - Nice party,John Henry.
-Jimmy, this is ridiculous! It's gone far enough! - Ohh!
- Somebody ought to stop them! - Not without takin' a lump, ma'am!
All right then!
Get him, Buster!
Hey, Newby, will you look at Bubba?
Lieutenant Wilkes! Lieutenant!
Lieutenant Wilkes, is this any conduct becoming an officer?
No, sir!
Well, now, Colonel Thomas, would you care to make this unanimous?
With pleasure, Colonel Langdon!
- [ Gunshots ] - [ Horses Whinnying ]
[ Gunshots ]
Well, now, why'd you want to do a thing like that?
I want this stopped! I want this stopped now!
Well, that's civilization for you!
Not like Philadelphia!
- Huh? - Nothing!
Oh, uh, Colonel, Sergeant's got a barrel full!
Well, thank you, Colonel! You've been a perfect host!
I've always heard of Southern hospitality! Now my men understand what it means!
Well, I thought my men'd do better, Colonel, seein' as how!!!
this is the first time in years we had you Yankees outnumbered!
Y'all come back, hear?
Windage and elevation, Mrs! Langdon!
Always remember: windage and elevation.
- You suppose bandits done it? - Bandits'd have stripped 'em!
More'n likelyJuaristas!
I want one man to go back to those Southerners and tell 'em!!!
to forget their escort from Maximilian.
This is it!
I might've known it'd be him!
He's been actin' kind of peculiar lately,John Henry!
- Figure he's sick? - Yeah!
There'll be no escort from Maximilian! John Henry sent me to tell you!
- How does he know that? - We ran across them four, five miles south of here!
They're dead!John Henry thinks theJuaristas did it!
- I see! - Colonel, you're not gonna believe that, are ya?
- Why should I not? - Why would those Yankees bother to send us word of anything?
- It just doesn't make sense! - What reason would I have in coming to you with a lie?
Yes, Captain, what reason?
It's late, son! You may as well stay the night!
- Thank you, sir! - Margaret, Ann? Set another place!
This young man's joining us for supper!
[ Mouthing Words ]
-[ Langdon ] Captain Anderson? -[ Anderson ] Sir?
- [ Crashing ] - Double the night pickets from here on in, Captain!
During the day, I want two men ahead of the column, two men at the rear and two on each flank!
Yes, sir!
- Good night, Captain! - Good night, sir!
- Corporal? - Yes, sir?
Jimmy, how far are we from Durango?
Three days!
You know, I-- I've been thinkin' an awful lot about home!
I have too, Maggie!!!
and my home is you!
[ Horse Whinnies, Distant ]
I knew it would be nice!
Why'd you ask me how old I am? Do you care?
No! I'm glad you're young!
It gives us more time to be together!
Oh, I'll always be young if I always feel the way I do now!
When we go back to the Territory, you'll be with me!
Take me now!!! tonight!
[ Charlotte ] Oh!
- [ Gasps ] - You go to bed!
- [ Grunts ] - Please, don't hit him!
Stop it!
[ Gasping ]
[ Horses Whinnying ]
- So Doc says, ''Sorry, partner, you're gonna die!'' - [ All Laughing ]
¶¶[ Fiddle:Folk ]
Them ''hor-dorv-rees'' was mighty fine, Mr! McCartney, but for my trimmings,
- I'd like a Kansas City steak, well done! - You go to hell!
John Henry, you ever hear about that gal in St! Louis? She had the dangedest itch--
- Shut up! -¶¶[ Fiddling Stops ]
We're comin' down to the end of it now! We've lost 500 horses between here and the border,
and I don't think that's very funny!
We lose any more, and somebody's gonna be damned uncomfortable!
You know what? I thinkJohn Henry's scared!
How 'bout some coffee?
- Kind of worried about him, ain't ya? - Who?
Well, you're the worst liar I ever came across,John Henry! Blue Boy, that's who!
Well, he should've caught up with us three days ago!
You don't reckon he come across bandits, do you?
No, I think he's too smart for that!
You know what I'd be thinkin' if I was you?
I'd be thinkin' he made off with that little Reb gal!
And I'd be thinkin' that he was just about to the Rio Grande by this time!
Well, that's what I been thinkin'!
Ah, he wouldn't do that!
Nah, he wouldn't do that! Thanks, Short Grub!
- I've changed my mind! - Oh-- Oh!
- Good morning! - Good morning!
- Well, here they are! You ready for it? - We're all set to make the count!
- Good! - Did you encounter any trouble along the way?
Well, nothing to speak of!
Well, we're here, and the horses are here! How about that money?
Oh, it's coming!!! by special courier with a troop of the emperor's cavalry!
- He is most appreciative! - Well, how soon is that special courier due?
- Any day! Shall we make the count? - Why not?
[ Horses Whinnying ]
[ Speaking Spanish ]
2,505 horses! I am surprised, Mr! Thomas!
- How's that? - Well, I thought you would lose more on a long trip like that!
Well, I had an understanding with my men!
- I asked 'em not to lose any more, and they didn't! - [ Both Chuckle ]
- How long we gonna be here,John Henry? - Till they give us the money!
My men haven't been home for four years! We're a little anxious!
So we won't be hard to find! We'll be right handy!
[ Man Shouting Warning In Spanish ]
[ Continues Shouting ]
¶¶ [ Band Plays ''I Wish I Were In Dixie'' ]
[ Newby ] Company, halt!
Left by twos! Ho!
My compliments, sir!
¶¶ [ Stops ]
ColonelJames Langdon, sir, Confederate States Army!
- My aide, Captain Anderson! - General!
My name is Lazaro Rojas!
In the name of Emperor Maximilian, I welcome you to our pueblo!
We have prepared a welcome banquet for you and your people, Colonel Langdon!
Please, do us the honor...
of extending our invitation to those of your party.
- Thank you very much, sir! Captain? - Sir!
Lieutenant! Dismount the troops!
- [ Wilkes ] Yes, sir! Sergeant, dismount your troops! - [ Newby ] Prepare to dismount!
- [ Newby ] Dismount! - Ladies!
- ¶¶ [ Band Plays ] - [ Chattering ]
-Saludas, uh-- -Amigas!
Sí, amigas!
- Thank you very much, sir! - Salud.
Ah, salud.
¶¶ [ Fanfare ]
It's all right, kids! It's gonna be all right!
[ Murmuring ]
Consider yourselves prisoners of the Revolution!
I shall protest this to Emperor Maximilian, sir!
We take no orders from Maximilian, Colonel Langdon!
Our president is Don BenitoJuarez!
-[ Drumbeats ] -The drums of Mexico beckon us, Colonel!
-James! - Will you excuse us, Mrs! Langdon?
[ Drumbeats Continue ]
[ Officer Shouting Command In Spanish ]
[ Officer Shouts Command ]
If you think you're gonna scare us with threats, General, you underestimate us!
No, no, Colonel Langdon, we have estimated you very well!
Aside from the men in your party, there are 3 2 women and 1 7 children!
You are friends of Maximilian!
He has brought the French into our country, and they have tried to ride roughshod!!!
over our people!
Now Maximilian has brought you Southern Americans into our country!!!
because he can no longer get help from Napoleon!
These Frenchmen kill the entire population!!!
of a small village, every man, woman and child...
-butchered. - [ Officer Shouting Commands In Spanish ]
[ Shouting Continues ]
-¡Atención! [ Shouts Command ] - [ Drumrolls ]
[ Continues Shouting Commands ]
[ All ] ¡Viva! ¡Viva! ¡Viva! ¡Viva!
-[ Crowd Continues Chanting ] - That is what happens, Colonel, to invaders of my country!
- My people are not invaders! - You are here, and you are friends of Maximilian!
- But we're not your enemies! What do you want of us, General? - Our forces need horses, Colonel!
Not far from here, there is a herd of 3,000!
- Thomas! - Yes!
- I'm afraid I don't understand you, General! - You will deliver this to Thomas!
[ Rooster Crows ]
- I'll be damned if I will! - I believe you will, Colonel!
Our Revolution needs those horses! BenitoJuarez needs those horses!
I'm a Confederate officer!
You can't expect me to go beggin' those Yankees for anything!
That's in the first place, and the second place, they wouldn't do it!
They have no reason to care what happens to us! General, that man Thomas would spit in my face!
You will do as I say, or you will all be shot!
I'm not askin' any Yankee for anything!
Very well!
- [ Officer Shouts Commands ] - [ Drumrolls ]
[ Shouting Continues ]
[ Rifles Cock ]
[ Officer Shouts Command ]
[ Gasping ]
- I'll go! - [ Shouts In Spanish ]
You will have the horses in this place by noon tomorrow!!!
or you will all be shot!
[ Snoring ]
-[ Child Coughs ] - [ Snoring Continues ]
[ Mexican Soldiers Laughing, Whooping, Shouting ]
[ Soldiers Talking In Spanish ]
[ Talking Ceases ]
[ All Grunting ]
[ Soldiers Laughing ]
[ Gasping, Crying ]
Don't leave me! Please! Don't ever leave me!
All right! Get up! Get up! Two Toes has dug up something!
- [ All Grumbling ] - Come on! Get up!
- Mr!John Henry? - Yeah?
Uh, we got company!
-[ Hoofbeats Approaching ] - Thank you, Mr! McCartney!
[ All Groaning ]
- [ Thomas ] What's all this? - We found this man!
Found me? You trapped me, you--
Here, untie him!
- [ Chuckling ] I told you that uniform'd get you in trouble! - Yeah!
- Mr! McCartney, you got the coffee ready? -All ready.
Good morning!
- Bonjour. - Buenos días.
- Wake ya up? - Ah!
Get a little coffee in ya and settle down,
you can tell us what it's all about!
I was given no choice! That's why I'm here!
My family, they're all gonna be murdered!
All of my people are in his hands!
When we reached Durango, they--
they gave us a party and then they tricked us!
My people are prisoners of a Juarista general!
I didn't want to come here. I didn't want to cause you people any--
Aw, damn it! Here! Read this!
General Rojas is more eloquent than I am!
What does it say, John Henry?
- That's good coffee! Thank you! - You really think so?
Well!!! it's your game!
How do you wanna play it?
John Henry, we been dealt lots of tough hands since the summer of'61 !
Here's one I wish we could pass!
- This don't leave us nothin'! - We ain't never had nothin' nohow!
Wait a minute, BobbyJoe! You mean you're willin' to give up them horses to them Johnny Rebs?
[ BobbyJoe ] Well, I ain't no Christian, but my mama was.
John Henry, remember when I lost my horse!!!
- up there at Pittsburgh Landing? - Yeah!
There I was without a horse, behind that log and them Rebs was all over me,
but there was one didn't have no gun!
Remember me telling you about that one come crawlin'up to me behind that log?
Yeah, but what's that got to do with this?
Well, this Reb, he said he was all tuckered out and he wanted to give himself up!
- So I told him to get the hell on outta there! I didn't want him! - [ Chuckles ]
- You know what he said to me? - No!
- ''You got me whether you want me or not!'' [ Laughs ] - [ Laughs ]
All right!
Looks like you're stuck with us!
John Henry, I--
- If we have to get there by noon, we better-- Where's that-- -[ Departing Hoofbeats ]
Short Grub, you better throw a couple of outriders in front of the point when we get started!
- Yo! - Break camp!
[ French ] !!!Durango!
- YBenitoJuarez. -Sí.
[ French ]
- Muy bien. -Allez.
Crimeny sakes! Those Frenchies have really found some help!
I thought we'd run away from all that!
What about it,John Henry?
Looks like we got ourselves mixed up in somebody else's war!
[ Man ] Yeah, it sure does.
- What are we gonna do now? - Well, that's already been decided!
[ Thomas ] Bring the two chuck wagons up here and fill 'em full of men and rifles.
I'll get 'em!
We'll give 'em a taste of General Sherman's war!
I remember!
[ Shouting Orders In French ]
They're gettin' a little close, ain't they,John Henry?
- You ready, Colonel? - Ready!
Break to the sides! Turn 'em loose, McCartney!
Hang on, High Bred! Get out of my way! Get up there now! Get up there now!
Short Grub, take care of High Bred for me!
I said a lot of mean words to the boys, ain't I?
- You sure have, McCartney! - Mr. McCartney!
Well, you tell 'em I meant every damn word!
You! Two steps forward! Aquí.
You! You!
And you!
You! ¡Grandote!¡Aquí!!
Mudlow! My turn!
[ Spanish ] Hands back.
¶¶[ Distant Drum:March ]
[ Spanish ]
[ Spanish ]
[ Officer Shouts In Spanish ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Shouting In Spanish ]
[ Spanish ]
[ Welcoming Shouts ]
[ Laughing ]
Oh, ho!
You have completed your mission, Colonel Langdon!
Thank you.
- Well,John Henry-- - [ Margaret ]James!
[ Stifled Sobs ]
You must be Rojas!
General Rojas!
And you must be John Henry Thomas!
You drive a hard bargain, General!
War is war, Colonel! You should know that!
Yeah, ya!!!
win one!!!
ya lose one!
It is cognac, the only good thing the French have brought to my country!
May I propose that we drink to the health and success!!!
of my President Don BenitoJuarez,
the Revolution and the future of Mexico!
Hear, hear!
And, General, may I propose a toast to the United States of America!
Not even for 3,000 horses?
To the United States of America!!!
and the Confederacy!
John Henry,
what are that Indian boy's intentions?
Probably disgraceful, Colonel!
But it's not what he'll do to her, it's what she's done to him!
[ Both Laugh ]
[ Both Laugh ]
It ain't much like old times, Colonel!
No, it ain't much like old times, Mr! Newby!
What do you plan on doin' once we get back home?
Well, the only place a man can raise more hell than he can in a war!!!
is on the floor of the House of Representatives!
An old friend of mine once told me people like to vote for heroes!
So, I guess that's what I'll do!
That team workin' out all right?
You goin' back to the Oklahoma Territory, Mr! Thomas?
Yes, ma'am,just as fast as I can get there!
- There many women out there? - Some!
Good country, I suppose!
From the Missouri to the Pacific Ocean!
Mostly good land for farming and!!!
- raising cattle and!!! raising a family! - ¶¶ [ Harmonica: ''Dixie'' ]
Are you gonna raise a family?
Well, I, uh--
- Solomon, can't you play any other tune? - Sure, boss!
- ¶¶ [ ''Battle Hymn OfThe Republic'' ] - That neither, Yank!
¶¶ [ ''Yankee Doodle'' ]
[ Spits ] Sure do miss Mr! McCartney!
- Yeah, but not his cookin'! - No, me neither!
¶ Put a feather in his hat and called it macaroni ¶¶
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