Veronica Mars 01x05
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I've spent the last forty minutes listening to Logan dry-heave so you can buy a deformed pinata?
Dude, everything was closed. It was the cheapest souvenir I could find.
I'll say it one more time.
Juanita, from the Hot Tamale: Ay, ay, ay.
Whoa, what'd I tell you about drool on the leather? Dad's very strict about the car.
He's the only one allowed to dry-heave in it.
Have we had our fill of Tijuana?
- No. - Yes.
- No, no thanks. - Senor?
These border checkpoints, man, they always freak me out.
Maybe you shouldn't volunteer for the full-cavity search.
You, ah, fellas have a good time in Mexico?
You wanna go ahead and hand over your contraband?
It works sometimes. Pop the trunk.
Anybody else hungry?
- Sure. - Yeah.
I can't believe you're calling me a wuss. I'm serious. You're the guy that can't close the deal.
Dude, what are you talking about?
I'm talking about that girl. That girl, Esmerelda.
The deal was closed back in VIP, my brother, make no mistake.
Did you wash your hands?
I got this, boys, let's roll.
Settle something for us, partner.
Didn't Luke look scared last night when that senorita started working her milkshakes on him?
That's great. That's adorable, You're a good man, thank you.
I wasn't scared. I was concerned.
Ah, yeah. You never saw a girl take a shot glass like that before.
Isn't this where we parked? Tell me that this isn't where we parked.
Please, someone tell me that you can see my father's car and this heart attack I'm having now is for nothing.
I don't know. Maybe it's like Brigadoon.
Come back in a hundred years and it'll be right back in this spot.
Did you lock it?
Did I lock it?
What's your problem? It's not even your ass on the line.
Yeah I know.
really sucks, man.
Wow, man, that's profound.
My parents come back in five days. If the car's not back before my dad is,
I'll be singing hymns and doing rosary beads faster than you can say The Passion.
Dude! Where's your car?
Ah, your monkey's gonna have to ride in the back.
That must have been a huge cereal box.
Now let's let that go. Cherish these moments,
because they will probably be the last ones that we spend together.
Hey. I don't mind dating a guy that rides a bike.
How do you feel about dating a guy who's being sent to Catholic school in Albuquerque?
Thanks for the ride.
Does this mean you're gonna play nice now?
Walk in front of the car. We'll see.
Can I stay in your guest house? I just don't wanna wake my parents up this early.
- I have a brilliant idea. - Does it involve a time machine?
Why don't I make some phone calls and see if I can track down the car?
I appreciate it, but I think this is even beyond your superpowers.
Haven't you heard? I've got friends in low places.
Look, I can't report the car stolen because my Dad thinks it's still safely tucked in the garage.
Which means I can't get the anti-theft homing device activated.
It's probably on a cargo ship to Jamaica.
And my dad is going to send me away. Then he's going to track me down and he's going to kill me.
Not if he doesn't find out.
Let's go back to your house.
And take my mind off my problems?
And get details on the car.
Model, license number, VIN...
How do you make VIN sound so hot?
You're going to find Troy's stolen car over the internet?
You'd be surprised what one can find with a few nimble keystrokes.
Alright, then, Velma, why don't you see what you can find on, say, me?
It's Daphne, thank you very much.
If you're a P.I. with a password, this is the gateway to many-a skeleton-filled closet.
Arrests, divorces, bankruptcies.
Rut-roh! Somebody got their license suspended last year!
I got it back. Bet you it doesn't say that!
Well, if I'm Daphne, what does that make you? Fred?
Oh, no. If I gotta be one of those white boys, I gotta be Shaggy all the way, baby.
Shaggy's got mad flava.
Aw, you still have a subscription to Mad Magazine?
You're all about the flavor.
- Hey, guys. - Hi.
Hey, help me out. So, for my Dad's birthday, I'm thinking... rock climbing?
Because he loves heights?
Not so much, but keep thinking outside the box. I like it.
And don't wait on me for dinner. I'll probably get take-out from the Italian place.
Luigi's? Will you get me some lasagna?
I'm just saying, the last time we went to Luigi's, you ate your weight in manacotti.
And now your birthday will be spent skydiving.
Hi, buddy! Hi. We'll go out in a minute.
Hi, Keith, it's me. I might be a little late for dinner since I came into work--
Oh. Wait a minute. I'm sorry, I was gonna call your cell.
Hi, you've reached Rebecca James and the counseling office at Neptune High School. I'm away--
You know those people who can predict when change is coming in their life?
I'm not one of them.
Change has a way of just walking up and punching me in the face.
I love the effort.
I mean, look at this guy. He's really working. You're pushing through the pain, man.
Nobody's kicking sand in your face. You look a little tired there, Tiger, so I'll tell you what.
Tell me where my package is and I'll help you lighten that load.
It's in a friend's car. I'll have it for you tomorrow.
Okay, I'll tell you what. You got until nine a.m., otherwise I'm gonna hunt you down
and the closest thing you're gonna come to playing baseball is me shoving a bat up your ass.
- Morning, honey. - What'cha doin'?
I figured I'd put the rest of your mom's stuff in storage.
I don't think we need the reminders anymore, you know?
You wanna take a look?
Not so much, no.
Well, I'm gonna leave it here for now. I've got an eight o'clock.
So, you and Miss James, huh? I wouldn't have pegged that one.
Well, we only went out a couple of times. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
So don't. I get it. Companionship. Needs. Yada, yada, yada. It's fine.
I'm sorry you didn't hear about it from me first.
Don't sweat it. You know how many things I don't tell you?
It's cool. Just next time, could you shoot for an actual teacher?
Because this has no potential benefit to my grade point average.
Sure you feel okay about this?
I like her.
Have a nice day.
The best way to dull the pain of your best friend's murder
is to have your mother abandon you as soon as possible.
It's like hitting your thumb with a hammer, then when it's throbbing so badly
you don't think you'll survive, you cut the damn thing off.
When my dad implicated the much beloved Kane family in Lilly's death,
I was willing to stand by him and lose everything else.
A safety deposit box key?
Thanks everybody! Don't forget, interviewing exercise tomorrow.
Hey. You're helping Troy find his dad's car, right?
You're sweating on me.
Look, I need your help.
There's kinda more to this car thing than the car.
There was a pinata full of steroids in the backseat.
I did a run for Hank Zigmund. He owns the Zig-Zag Sports Club.
I wanted to get pumped for Varsity baseball. I was pretty much down for whatever.
Including shrunken testicles and acne scars. Well, speaking for the women of America: good plan.
Wait. What did Troy and Logan know about this?
Nothing. I swear.
Yeah, alright. Logan knew, but he wasn't in on it.
It doesn't matter, anyway. I don't help dealers find their lost products.
Look, don't think of it like that, alright?
Think of it like you're saving my life, okay, the guy is built like a truck!
He will break one of my limbs.
If I were to help you, you would have to return the steroids and get your money back
and then return the cash, not the drugs.
Yeah, I'll do whatever.
I'll figure something out. Just lay low.
Hi, may I help you?
Hi. My mom died last year, and I just found this.
All this time, I've been thinking mom bolted because she couldn't handle losing everything.
Maybe she just couldn't handle losing me.
Looks like they used a 300mm on this one. Not bad. Definitely the work of a pro.
A pro who knew my schedule quite well last year.
Judging by my lack on an eight man, twenty-four hour security detail,
I'm guessing Dad hasn't had the pleasure of viewing this little slideshow.
- Hey. - Hi.
- I thought-- - I'm guessing I'm early.
- No, it's fine. - Am I? I'm sorry. I guess I'm just anxious.
- Hi. - Hi.
Umm, Veronica, Rebecca wanted to stop by.
And just say hello. Outside of school.
I'm sure this is a little weird for you. So...
Well, this is a little weird, but you two dating isn't. Um, I'm fine. No worries.
- Well I thought-- - And I agree.
--that if you had the chance to talk, things would seem a little less awkward.
And are you starting to see the Catch-22 inherent in the plan?
As a matter of fact, I am.
Okay, well, um, is there anything I can do that would make things easier for you?
Can you get me out of fifth period bio?
So far it's been a whole lotta brick walls, but I talked to my buddy Earl yesterday at the impound yard.
What do I love more? That you have a buddy named Earl or that he works at the impound yard?
I'm guessing both. No sign of the Beemer.
But he can get you a great deal on a Good Times van.
I'll pass that onto my dad when he gets back. Maybe it'll take his mind off of loading his gun.
- I dig this song. - Yeah, me too.
Here's a thought.
If Tijuana was Logan's idea then stealing the car could've been the master plan.
It was more of a meeting of the minds, if you will.
Ah. So what was on the menu for this night of grand debauchery?
Let's see. From eight to nine, we brainstormed on how to overthrow Kim Jong Il.
From nine to ten, we deleted the records of the black voters of Florida.
And after that was all donkey shows.
- So the usual? - Pretty much.
If you wanna ask something, you just ask.
Okay. Did you meet anyone odd, or were you followed? Did you see any suspicious activity?
How about all of the above? Have you ever been to Tijuana?
I'm not looking for DNA samples.
It's just the more information I have about the car, the better chances of you finding it.
So you think they're going to turn the Beacon system on just because you ask sweetly?
Well, we've tried everything else.
Just watch a master at work, alright? This is what I do.
Um, I'm the personal assistant to Lawrence Vandergraff. He's freaking out.
He thinks his device is broken and he wants to run a diagnostic on his BMW.
Here's the VIN number.
Please tell me you can do this.
Pretty please? Cherry on top?
It's not really procedure...
Well, can it be our little secret?
I've worked for the guy for two weeks and he already thinks I'm a ditz.
Okay then. Super Roger to the rescue.
Roger. What are you doing?
Um, a simple diagnostic. This young lady works for--
Has the car been reported stolen?
Oh, not exactly.
We never activate Beacon unless the car is reported stolen.
Hey, can you pick me up tomorrow?
- Yeah. - Good, good.
You better run, you punk bitch!
Time for a chat?
Well. You'd think if hell froze over, maybe it would be on the news.
I just wanna hear more about the steroids you bought last weekend.
You mean the steroids Luke bought.
Wow, you suck at this Nancy Drew stuff. You should get a new hobby.
So you knew he was doing it.
You actually think that I would tell you anything?
I guess we're done here, Officer.
What's up, T?
That guy bothering you?
Alright, where is your sister?
- I don't think we have one. - Oh, hi! Um...
- You didn't give Backup human food, did you? - Oh, no, no! I just found his happy spot, that's all.
So, um, another case of bad timing. Your dad went out for groceries,
'cause I'm making dinner for both of you tonight.
- So, uh, how was your day? - Fine. How was yours?
It was excellent, thank you. I know you guys like Italian food, so I am making fettucine
and for dessert, guess.
- No idea. - Waffles and ice cream. That's your favorite, right?
I put this sauce on top of vanilla ice cream...
So, when are we gonna cook for your boy?
We're Mars women. Should we play to our strengths?
And who says there's a new boy?
Don't even try that. No, wait a minute. Let me guess. Um...
Garret Fisher? Kenny Houseman?
- Have we met? - Thank you!
- Um... Travis Kittlemeyer. - Ooh, I think he'd rather be dating Kenny Houseman.
- Okay. Then Boris-- - Okay!
It's Duncan Kane.
The waffle's burning.
Oh! Oh, god, I am so sorry! It just slipped out of my hands.
- Hey, how's it going in here? - Look at this. I'm a klutz.
Oh, that was ancient anyway. Don't even worry about it.
I really appreciate you doing this, but I actually can't stay for dinner.
- Really? - Why not?
I told a friend I'd meet him at the Sac and Pac. It's a school project.
Oh. Well, I'll ask first next time. Make sure you're available.
Thanks for cooking. I'll try the pasta when I get home.
Which won't be too late.
Have a good night.
Angel. How's business?
This is Veronica. She's the girl that got me out of juvie. I told you about her.
Look, she's looking for a car. A green BMW 740i.
Should've come through here a couple days ago.
Ya, I hear you.
Did you ask him about the pinata?
Oh yeah, one more thing. Uh, did you happen to see a pinata?
- So, the car-- - Was chopped.
Your uncle won't say for who, but the papers are in order. Blah, blah, blah.
Please tell me you know where Mario lives, because we need to get that pinata right away.
Baby, I'll buy you a pinata.
Will you buy me a pinata full of steroids?
I've only been here once.
Uh, maybe that one. Where the balloons are.
Yeah, this has to be it.
- Am in trouble? What? God! - We need to talk.
Alright. But does it have to be next to the feminine hygiene machine?
Get over it. Look, I found the pinata and it is not full of steroids.
You're out of options. If you want Ziggy off your back, you're gonna have to buy him off.
Veronica, you don't understand. If I go to him without any steroids,
cash or no cash, he's gonna hurt me. Bad.
Well. You let me worry about that. You worry about getting the money.
Yeah, how? You think I've got eight grand stashed away in my other wallet?
Figure it out!
Mom, what are you doing here? Where are we going?
I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together. I thought we could go visit Aunt Sheryl.
In Palm Springs? Mom, I can't go to Palm Springs.
I have a history test next period and a Spanish project due.
Honey, please. Don't make this hard. Just come with me, okay?
Three days later, she was gone.
At the time, I thought it was just one more on the growing list of odd things my mom was doing.
I chalked her nerves up to the vodka.
But now I think she really was scared.
People rarely cut all their ties, even when they try.
If she's out there and these untraceable, disposable cell phones
I'm sending to Mom's closest friends and family reach her,
maybe she'll realize it's safe for her to call me.
It's my version of a message in a bottle.
One more hour and this might actually constitute a walk of shame.
Let's say I'm gonna play the dad card and go to bed.
Actually, I need your help.
Troy got his dad's car stolen on his way back from Tijuana,
and we're trying to find it before his dad gets back
so he's not shipped off to boarding school in Albuquerque.
He's important to you, isn't he?
Yes, he is.
And I need you to do some of that voodoo that you do so well.
I'll be nice to your boyfriend if you be nice to my girlfriend.
- Can I help you? - James Anderson, head of security for L.T. Vandergraff.
- Sorry, I'm not sure I-- - Do you know who Mr. Vandergraff is?
You will when you're named in the lawsuit he'll file against your employer.
Now I know you value him as a client.
He really values this car, so we need to run a drill.
You look like a smart lady, do yourself a favor and turn his system on now.
This is insane.
I mean, two thousand bucks with four bids?
These people have no idea what a Barry Bonds ball's worth.
No, it's classic bidding strategy. They'll wait 'til the end of the auction.
Try hitting refresh.
See, there you go. $2800, we're almost there.
No, we're not almost there!
I can't do this. I mean, you have no idea what I went through to get this ball.
You have no idea what it's going to be worth when he retires.
Luke. A ball, or your life.
You do the math.
- It's a ball! - Yeah.
What are you doing after school?
Wanna come over and play detective?
How are you so laid-back about all this?
I mean, if we don't find this car, we're done.
Does that not scare you?
Yes, it does. It's scares the hell out of me.
Then why do you seem so--
Let's just say that you've been told you have seventy-two hours to live.
How do you spend them?
You can dig through medical texts looking for a miracle cure,
or you can make those seventy-two hours the best three days of your life.
And I choose sexy fun time.
Well, I choose a miracle cure.
I don't get something.
Why are your parents sending you off to prison school in Albequerque?
Seriously. What's wrong with a good old-fashioned grounding?
I'll get them to call you. Get some parenting advice.
Happy to help.
Remember, start with light, easy questions first. Let your subject get comfortable.
So, Ms. Mars. How do you respond to the rumors that your boyfriend
hooked up with strippers in Tijuana last weekend?
Ms. Banks. Have you decided which parent you're going to live with after the divorce?
And if I may, a follow up: can you believe your father's choice in mistresses?
Veronica, I need to speak with you after class, please.
You look ready for a fight.
I get that a lot. I guess it's just my usual expression.
How do you think Ashley's going to sleep tonight?
I didn't tell her anything she didn't already know, deep down.
But sometimes the lies we let ourselves believe are for our own good.
In a minute. Research.
Poor Ms. Dent. She can't see the big picture yet.
Love is an investment. Information is insurance.
With someone who's heart has already been crushed, I say you can't be too careful.
Hey, there you are.
I wanted to ask you a favor.
I know you got something planned for my birthday, but I was hoping it would be fine
if, you know, before we went to do whatever you got cooked up that we go to Rebecca's house
and have her cook us dinner because she's a great cook.
I think you should look at that.
- Did you know she was still married? - I did.
I'm still married, Veronica.
And that she was arrested for passing bad checks?
When she was twenty-one.
What were you thinking, Veronica? I'm your father.
What made you think you had the right to do something like this?
What are you talking about, have the right? This--this is what we do.
This is how we survive.
I was trying to protect you.
I'm an adult, Veronica!
You have let her into our life like it's no big deal!
Oh, it's a big deal! It's a huge deal.
Makes me feel good about myself, wanted in a way that I haven't in a long time,
and it makes me wake up with a smile on my face. And we didn't ignore your feelings.
We tried to make you feel comfortable, but you chose to be snotty!
Mom is still out there somewhere!
Do you even care if she ever comes back?
You didn't care until I started dating! You've been hard on your mom for months!
You can find anybody!
If she were a criminal,
you'd make a couple grand tracking her down and you'd have her back in a week!
Well, maybe I don't care to find her. Have you ever considered that?
I've turned your boyfriend's security system on.
There's the code.
You sure you're alright?
Would you stop asking me that? I need to concentrate.
The signal is weaving all over the place. It's weird.
You think they know that we're onto them.
Maybe, but it looks like it's going in between buildings. I don't get it.
It says this is the street.
Seems like an unlikely place to hide a stolen car, here in mansion-land.
You think it's in a garage?
No, the signal's still moving all around. It's right on top of us.
Please tell me that that dog is not supposed to be the BMW.
Think your dad will notice?
You want some breakfast?
No thanks. I'm just gonna grab an apple.
That's for you.
It's everything you may or may not wanna know about Troy.
You can open it, you can throw it out, it's your choice.
I just don't know how to say this.
Keith, just pull the band-aid off.
The furrowed brow and the pauses are killing me.
I can't see you anymore.
I can't do this to Veronica. She's not ready to see me dating yet. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but she's having a really hard time.
- Can you do me a favor? - Of course.
Can you just tell me it's another reason? Like... like a crappy one?
Your being a good father isn't really something I can bitch about to my girlfriends over margaritas.
Hey, Sexy. Give me a kiss? Make all my troubles disappear?
All your troubles? That would take a lot of kissing.
I'm just glad we weren't dating when you were kicked out of those two schools
for drug possession and trafficking. My lips would've fallen off.
Huh. Well good morning to you, too.
Although, back then, Shauna was doing most of the kissing, wasn't she?
You remember Shauna, don't you? You were kicked out of Pembrooke in Connecticut with her
for marijuana possession and then out of St. Mary's in Boston. You crazy kids never learn,
and yet now I'm supposed to believe that you knew nothing about Luke picking up steroids in T.J.?
- What are you talking about, steroids? - Don't even--
Look, I don't know anything about Luke and steroids.
Yeah, I got busted in Boston with some dope, big deal.
You got busted for drug possession and trafficking!
Yeah. So? That was two years before we even met, what does that have to do with us now?
Because you never told me about it!
Maybe I would've.
You ever think of that?
Maybe after I'd known you for more than a month I'd tell you my deep dark secrets.
Or is that too much of a character flaw?
Waiting for the girl to like you before you tell her the things you're not so proud of?
I don't have to tell you that. You're Veronica Mars.
You know everything.
I got it all.
Eight grand. And a little slice of my soul.
Woe is you.
I'll see you again bright and--
- Hey! - Talk to you later, alright?
Is that Hummer downstairs with the Z-MEISTER plates yours?
Wow. Cool, I guessed right.
- You here to get pumped? - Not exactly.
I'm here to settle Luke's account.
- Why don't we step in my office? - Oh, that's okay. I'd rather talk out here.
- Well, I wouldn't. - Well, he would.
You know, darling, unless you're blind, you're gonna have to take your doggy outside.
You can try explaining that to him because he never listens to me.
- You don't understand-- - Hold on one sec.
Yeah? Oh, hey Wallace.
Not much, you?
No, not at all. No.
Piece of cake.
Here's the eight grand you fronted Luke. You two are square now.
I'm take the eight grand, but we ain't square, you see.
The little bitch let me down and I'm gonna have to make him pay.
Remember this moment. 'Cause you're gonna regret it.
I can do better, I swear, just give me another chance.
You've used up all your chances. You've gotta learn discipline and respect.
Dad, please. I'm sorry. I--
It's too late for apologies, Troy. You've made your bed.
Wow. That's some cake.
- Isn't it, though? - I love it.
Did you ever notice that everything you make just tends to lean a little to the left?
I do that on purpose.
- What time is Rebecca coming? - She's not.
Oh! I already cancelled the birthday surprise...
I was gonna take you to see Santana at the Bowl.
I'm not seeing her anymore.
Dad, you don't...
Sorry. I obviously know nothing about relationships.
But you can bake and that's important.
It's your birthday. You should be happy.
And what better way to spend it?
No, you should--
I should be able to do whatever I want because it's my birthday.
I just wanna have a piece of cake with my daughter. That's all I want.
Well, happy birthday, Pop.
Don't forget to make a wish.
Let's keep this between us, alright?
- Hello. - Hey, baby, it's Shauna.
Can you feel the heat yet? I am getting so close, baby,
your panties oughta burst into flames any minute now.
Troy, what's with this girl calling me? You gave her my number?
Oh, whoa. What girl?
Some girl named Veronica.
You didn't tell her you'd be seeing me soon, did you?
She caught me off guard! What was I supposed to--
Sorry we didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but just wanted to wish you good luck
at your new school and leave you something to remember me by.
It took me a while to figure out where you stashed the steroids,
but there was only one place you were alone, right?
In case you're wondering, the former contents of the package are somewhere
between my toilet and the Pacific Ocean.
Say hi to Shauna for me. She sounds like a keeper.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
Mr. Zigmund? You wanna go ahead and turn over your contraband?
Step out of the car, please.
Hello, sweetheart. First of all, I miss you so much.
More than you could possibly imagine.
You know what, I did get one of your letters, but I won't tell you which one
because I don't want you to try and find me.
Veronica, you listen to me, I know you have a million questions,
but everything will make sense when the time is right. I promise.
I'll be in touch soon.
Trust me, okay?
I love you.
And could you tell your father I said happy birthday?
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