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Waynes World 2

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[ Wayne ] Extreme close-up!
[ Garth ] Whoa!
[ Wayne ] Whoa!
O.K. All right.
- Whew! - All right.
So here we are in our new surroundings--
The abandoned Acme Doll factory
in downtown Aurora, Illinois.
We now have an official babe lair.
This place is gonna be chick central.
I feel sorry for guys who still live with their parents.
O.K. You've probably noticed
that we're on early tonight.
Usually at this time on Aurora Cable,
you're watching Plant World.
But they didn't want our 10:30 time slot.
But we were able to talk Plant World
into changing with Cooking World.
Although they didn't want to change at first.
But fortunately,
White Supremacy World was canceled,
and all the trades worked out.
And finally,
the reason we're on early
is because we're going to a concert tonight in Chicago.
And did I mention that we will be seeing...
- Aerosmith? - Aerosmith.
- Whoa! - Whoa!
All right. O.K.
So, until next week, good night and party on.
Party on, Wayne!
Party on, Garth.
It's Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Party time
[ Making Guitar Noises ]
And we're out.
- All right! - All right!
Let's-- let's move, people!
All right. Garth, to the Mirthmobile.
The Mirthmobile!
- All right. - All right.
I'm Wayne Campbell.
Welcome to Wayne's World 2.
Let me bring you up to speed.
Come on.
There's a lot to tell you,
so let's take the scenic route.
A year has passed.
I'm a little older.
I'm a little wiser.
I'm starting to get hair
in really weird places, man.
I feel like I'm turning into Sasquatch.
I still go out with my girlfriend Cassandra.
She's cutting a record demo right now, man.
Her career's really taking off.
You remember Cassandra, don't you?
What a babe.
She'd give a dog a bone.
But, you know...
even though I live on my own now,
everybody's really hassling me
to do something with my life, you know?
To become an adult.
I feel like I'm in a John Hughes
rite de passage movie.
But what I'd really like to do
is something extraordinary,
something big, something mega,
something copious,
something capacious,
something cajunga.
I'll probably end up working
at Great America,
mopping up hurl and lung butter.
You remember my best friend
Garth Algar, right?
Oh, I almost forgot.
This year,
Garth finally got pubes.
You didn't tell them about my pubes, did you?
Of course not.
You are listening to W.P.I.G., the pig,
all rock,
all the time.
Hey, Handsome Dan coming at you
at five on the short side of nine bells at W.P.I.G.,
America's rock authority.
What do you say we check in with Mr.Scream?
ha ha!
[ All Screaming ]
I've been drivin' all night
My hand is wet on the wheel
God, Handsome Dan is so cool.
He must get a million chicks.
I bet he's totally studly and buffed.
With a voice like that, he's got to be a babe magnet.
And it's a half past 4:00
And I'm shiftin' gear
When she is lonely
And the longing gets too much...
Welcome to Mikita's. How may I serve you?
Shh, shh.
Uh, yes.
Um, I'd like...
urger ox...
and a Mikita...cup.
And then I think I would like
a large...
Yes, and could I please have...
elly doughnut and...
raspberry and a...
nge drink?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Let me recap the order.
A cruller, two sugar pucks,
a Stanley cup, a large coffee with cream,
a raspberry jelly doughnut, orange drink,
and a box of five holes.
Thank you.
Drive around, please.
When I get lonely
And I'm sure I've had enough...
I'm so psyched for this concert.
Aerosmith's going to kick ass!
Whoo! Ow! Ow! Whoo!
Ow! Ow!
But where are we supposed to meet Cassandra?
Backstage laminates.
Encore! Encore!
Encore! Encore!
Encore! Encore!
Encore! Encore!
Encore! Encore!
Cruise into a bar on the shore
Her picture graced the grime
On his door
She's a long-lost love
At first bite
Baby, maybe you're wrong
You know it's all right
That's right
Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady
So never judge a book by its cover
Let's go.
Ohh! Ohh!
Somebody just grabbed my butt!
All right!
I--I feel weird.
Dude looks like a lady
Ah ha ha ha!
It's like a thousand fingers
urging you to let go.
I'm having fun.
Ha ha ha!
You guys wail!
You guys rule, man!
Lunch is here!
Dude looks like a lady
[ In Unison ] So do you!
She like it, like it
Like it like that
She's such a lady
All right!
Coming by!
Excuse me! Excuse me.
Where is the backstage area?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady
Excuse us.
Excuse me.
O.K. Cool.
Oh, there she is. Hey, Cassandra!
Hey, Campbell!
Hey, Campbell!
Hey, there she is.
Sorry we couldn't sit together.
No troubles, bubbles. Great concert, huh?
I want you to meet somebody.
Wayne, Garth, this is Bobby Cahn of Sharpe Records.
Good to see you.
Uh, Bobby's my record producer.
He's been working with me and the band.
Well, we must drop by the studio.
I don't have to tell you
how extremely talented Cassandra is.
You've heard, you've seen, you know.
Scott. Scotty.
I want you to meet someone.
Cassandra, this is Scott.
Uh, Dwayne.
- Actually, Wayne. - Right.
Bobby tells me you're very, very talented.
I was saying the exact same thing.
I want to ask you something.
Don't you hate schmoozing?
Oh, yes.
I just despise it.
Stand back, please!
- Ah... - Ah...
We're not worthy!
We're not worthy!
You're worthy, you're worthy.
Get up.
You guys were excellent tonight.
Thanks a lot. We'll see you inside.
[ Garth ] We're planning on it.
Hold on.
Excuse me.
Oh... oh, jeez.
Wayne, look.
it's Heather Locklear.
And she's signaling to us.
There is a God.
Heather be thy name.
- Schwing - Schwing
Are you coming?
Oh, yeah, we're--
This is Cassandra.
We're supposed to be in there.
No, you're not.
My girlfriend's in there.
A lot of people's girlfriends are in there.
- Denied. - Denied.
Hi! Where are you from? I'm from Wilmette.
I'm from Cicero.
Isn't it cool to be downtown?
Hey, are you those two guys
who have that TV show in Aurora?
Wayne's World! Party time!
You guys sure look like 'em.
Look, if Wayne says we're not,
we're not, O.K.?
How long does it take to get here from Aurora?
It takes me 40 minutes door to door.
My ma gave me a dollar
and dropped me off at the park-and-ride.
[ Thunder ]
Dots. Dots.
Ahh...and Marilyn.
it's all a creature...
let's all look at...
[ Thunder ]
Who are you?
I'm Jim Morrison.
Who's he?
A weird naked Indian.
Why have you brought me here?
To help you find some answers, Wayne.
Answers to what?
Ask me a question.
O.K. Two trains are traveling at 60 mph--
One from Chicago, one from Los Angeles--
No. Ask me a question about your life.
What am I supposed to do with my life?
You should put on a concert in Aurora, Wayne.
How am I gonna get the bands to come?
If you book them, they will come.
But I don't know anything about putting on a concert.
You must go to England and find a man named Del Preston.
He's the greatest roadie that ever lived.
He was with us in good times and bad.
He'll help you. Any more questions?
Will Garth ever get his Sports Illustrated football phone?
It was sent to the wrong house.
It will arrive tomorrow along with the swimsuit issue and the video,
The Stanley Cup-- 100 Years of Glory.
How do I get back?
Follow the weird naked Indian.
Wake up, Wayne!
I just had the most vivid and powerful dream
of my life.
Last night, Jim Morrison spoke to me.
He told me that the purpose of my life
was to put on a concert.
Oh. Hey, guess what finally came in the mail, Wayne.
I guess they sent it to the wrong house.
My Sports Illustrated football phone...
Oh, my God!
My Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue...
Oh, my God.
And The History of the Stanley Cup,
100 Years of Glory.
Garth, it's a sign.
We will put on a concert.
Oh, yes.
We will put on a concert.
[ Rock Music Blares ]
Well, this must be the place.
Maybe we should've called Cassandra
before we dropped by.
Garth, it's us. No one's going to hassle us.
Besides, Cassandra needs the encouragement.
[ Chickens Cluck ]
Excuse me, what are you guys doing here
in the middle of the street?
I'm putting these chickens in crates and stacking them here.
Jim's job is to make sure we have plenty of watermelons.
Oh, so you're selling watermelons.
We got to make sure there's plenty of them stacked, like the chickens.
- What do these guys do? - Walk back and forth...
with this plate-glass window every couple of minutes.
Yeah. You got to wonder
if this is going to pay off later on.
It's O.K.
Maybe we ought to overdub a track
with Bobby playing. He can really wail.
Give them a few minutes. They're working on it.
The label figures you got
at least three singles on this one.
- Want you to come to the coast. - Excellent.
Not bad for a little girl from Hong Kong.
What brings you here, Wayne?
I, uh, had to tell Cassandra something.
Last night I had a dream.
We're going to put on a concert in Aurora.
That's a great idea.
Yeah. It's, uh, it's a festival.
- A festival? - A festival. You heard the man.
Charming. What's it called?
What's it called?
It's called, um...
It's called, uh...
Waynestock. It's called Waynestock.
Who's going to be at Waynestock?
Um, uh...
Aerosmith and Pearl Jam.
Ha ha ha ha ho!
Who else?
Uh, me...
and--and Wayne.
Van Halen.
Wow. Van Halen. Who else?
Yeah. Who else?
Uh, an old man fashioning a kayak
out of a log?
No! Uh... Rip Taylor! Rip Taylor's going to be there.
Rip Taylor? He's a god in my country.
He can't walk the street without getting mobbed.
That's great, 'cause he's going to be there.
And I thought maybe you could play, too.
I would be honored.
I wouldn't commit just yet.
You got some real gigs coming up.
Real gigs?
Well, uh, ix-nay on the condescension-ay there, Chet.
Bobby, can I ask you a question?
What is it, Garth?
A sphincter says what?
I said, a sphincter
says what?
You want me to say "what,"
like I don't get it.
Is that it?
That it?
Oh, dear. Last guy didn't get.
Last guy didn't get.
You big. You big.
We small--small-- so we better go.
Where are you going?
- England! - England!
I can't believe Paramount is spending the money
to fly us to England.
I would have thought they would use two doubles.
Here we are at Piccadilly Circus.
Wow. What a shitty circus.
Good call. There's no animals or clowns.
What a rip-off.
Let's go to Buckingham Palace.
Does Princess Di still live here?
She is such a babe.
[ Purrs ]
So, did Jim Morrison
give you Del Preston's exact address?
Yeah. He said exactly London, England.
I don't know about this, Wayne.
[ Snoring ]
- Aah! - Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Are you Del Preston?
I might be.
Who are you?
My name is Wayne Campbell.
I'm Garth Algar.
That's terribly fascinating, mate,
but you woke me up.
How can you sleep like that?
Listen, Sonny Jim, sleeping like this
would add 10 years to your life.
I learned it from Keith Richards
when I toured with the Stones.
This might be the reason
why Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons. can I be of assistance?
You're gonna think I'm nuts,
but someone visited me in a dream
and told me that Del Preston
would help me put on a concert in Aurora, Illinois.
A concert?
I'm afraid you've been misinformed.
I don't do that anymore.
I'm just an old geezer.
What do I know about music today?
When I was working,
it was all bands like Eric Clapton
and the Rolling Stones.
It's not like the Grateful Dead
are still together and touring, is it?
Well, actually--
Wow. Look at this scrapbook.
That's you with Led Zeppelin.
My old lady put that together.
We must've toured every concert hall
and venue in America--
Me, my old lady, and the road.
- Yeah. - That's you and Bob Dylan?
Who's the old lady?
That's my old lady.
Listen, it was fun,
but those days are gone forever.
But we came from America
just to talk to you.
I'm sorry.
I don't do concerts anymore.
Come on. Let's go.
I still think you led a really cool life.
It was nice meeting you.
I guess Jim was wrong.
Hang about.
Was it Jim Morrison?
- Amazing. - Yes!
Did he have a naked Indian?
- Wow. - Yes!
I have to ask you...
didn't you think it was a trifle unnecessary
to see the crack in the Indian's bottom?
Yes! Absolutely!
I had the same dream.
- Whoa! - Whoa!
[ Garth ] Del, you're really gonna love Aurora.
[ Del ] Who's Aurora, anyway?
Frank, this is Bobby.
Did you get the tape?
What'd you think?
Definitely. She sounds great.
Yeah, the band is terrible.
It's a garage band.
They can't, I'm sure.
I'm working with them.
I'm still in this studio in Aurora.
What the hell you doing there?
She wants to stay here.
Same reason they all want to stay--
She's got a boyfriend.
Don't worry. I'll get rid of the boyfriend and the band.
I'd like to bring her out to L.A. and finish the album.
All right, Bobby.
Let's just get it done, O.K.?
And there I am in Sri Lanka,
formerly Ceylon, at 3 A.M.,
looking for 1,000 brown M&Ms
to fill a brandy glass
or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night.
So Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door
and mentions there's a little sweet shop
on the edge of town.
So we go, and it's closed.
So there's me and Keith Moon and David Crosby
breaking into this little sweet shop, right?
Well, instead of a guard dog,
they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger.
Well, I managed to take out the tiger
with a can of mace,
but the shop owner and his son,
that's a different story altogether.
I had to beat them to death
with their own shoes.
Nasty business, really,
but sure enough, I got the M&Ms,
and Ozzy went on stage
and did a great show.
Wow. Wow. That was excellent.
Well, to put on a really great rock show
like Knebworth in England
or... Woodstock,
there is only one place you can do it,
and that's here--
At Adlai Stevenson Memorial Park
in the playing fields.
We better check it out.
So, Wayne...
I hear you're putting on some kind of concert.
That's good.
People need to be entertained.
They need the distraction.
I wish somebody'd do something
to block out the voices in my head,
the voices that scream over and over,
"Why do they come to me to die?"
"Why do they come to me to die?"
[ Thunder ]
What do we do now?
Here. Let me look at it.
Get the flashlight.
There's the main gate,
and here we are.
No, man. We're over here.
I don't think so.
We took a left turn at the gate,
so that would put us--
Wait a minute.
I know where we are.
I'm pretty good with maps.
[ Thump ]
- Aah! - Aah!
Aah! Aah!
I can't turn it off!
I can't turn it off!
[ Roars ]
You would purposely invite the rock 'n' roll element
into our community?
Well, what's wrong with a little entertainment?
Entertainment is fine, but this...
we have lots of big acts that come through here.
Ice Capades, Tiny Toons, Kenny G.
Kenny G?
[ Saxophone Music Plays ]
So we don't even get to apply for a permit?
We would love to put on a rock concert...
Oh, ho ho ho ho.
Betty Jo, could we have the permits
for a festival, please?
Yes, sir.
Thank you. You'll need to fill out
the necessary permit applications.
Here you go.
Thank you, Betty Jo.
You're the guy that's on that Wayne World show.
Betty Jo?
Thank you.
All right, then.
Naturally, you'll need the necessary application for authorization,
approval from the guilds and unions,
you'll need some release forms,
the decibel level...
Is something wrong?
What do you mean?
It's my eye, isn't it?
Why would we want to look at your eye?
Is there something wrong with that weird eye?
There's nothing wrong with my eye.
This one just has no pigment.
I'm what you call a partial ocular albino,
but I'm fine with it.
I have perfect 20/20 vision with both eyes.
You're serious about putting on a rock concert?
Are you kidding? I'd give my right eye.
You both realize
there are certain jurisdictions you'll need to follow.
I'd like to think I have an eye for details.
I'm assuming, of course, you have the $5,000 occupancy permit,
or you wouldn't even be here.
Exsqueeze me? A baking powder?
$5,000 occupancy permit?
Yes, we have that, actually.
Yes. Piece of cake.
Fine. Then all forms and applications
must be filled out in triplicate
and returned to this office
no later than 10 working days before the event...
with the money.
O.K. We'll take these home,
run through them with a fine-tooth comb,
cross the "T's" and dot the...
lower-case "J's."
I keep falling over. Oh, no.
I seem to be falling over a lot.
Oh, damn, these high heels. Oh!
why do you go out with me?
I love being with you.
Most guys are jerks.
You're a good person.
Wait. Let me show you what I got at a garage sale.
- What did you get? - Isn't that great? You heard of it?
Have I ever seen this before?
Frampton Comes Alive?
Everybody has Frampton Comes Alive.
If you lived in the suburbs, you were issued it.
It came in the mail with samples of Tide.
Look at this old one.
Gerry and the Pacemakers.
That's old.
You know, I bet those guys
actually have pacemakers by now.
Can you believe they're not making vinyl anymore?
It's weird, isn't it?
That is weird.
Bobby said my album will never be on vinyl.
Oh, Bobby says.
Are you having an affair?
Of course not. Where did you hear that?
You know how these things start--
One guy tells another guy something,
then he tells two friends,
and they tell two friends,
and they tell their friends,
and so on, and so on,
and so on.
You know how these things go.
No. Honestly, Campbell, I'm not having an affair.
I'm nice to him because he's my producer.
But if this deal falls through,
I lose my visa and I go back to Hong Kong.
You have nothing to worry about.
My dad's coming to visit.
I'd love you to meet him.
Treat. I'm sure he'll just love me.
if you're anything like my old boyfriend.
I'm nothing like your old boyfriend.
Then we're screwed.
I haven't seen Garth in a while.
What's he up to?
Garth's doing his laundry.
Too bad he doesn't have a girlfriend to do his laundry.
Oh, yeah. Thanks for doing my laundry.
How do you get my clothes
so white and fresh-smelling?
It's an age-old Cantonese method
that few people know about.
Wait a minute.
Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
I don't recall ever seeing you in here.
Maybe it's because it's my first time in here.
My mom used to do all my laundry,
but I do now.
I'm what you call "sans parents."
I can go to a movie on a school night... like that.
Well, welcome to the neighborhood.
would you like some red-rope licorice?
Why, sure.
What's your name?
Garth. Garth Algar.
What's yours?
I'm Honey...Hornee.
Nice meeting you, Miss Horny.
That's Hornee.
It's French.
Oh. O.K.,
Miss Hor-nee.
So, Garth, would you like to have dinner some night?
I like to have dinner every night.
No, I mean us. You and me.
Would you like to have dinner?
a date?
[ Buzz ]
Finally. It took, like, two hours.
I like 'em teeny and toasty.
So long.
Maybe we'll see each other around.
Yeah. I'll see you around.
Oh, Garth?
You forgot these.
Good night, Cassandra. Good work.
Thanks. See you tomorrow.
Good night.
I have got to get you to L.A.
You are buried here.
I like it here.
All my friends are here.
What time is it?
Damn. I missed the start of Wayne's show.
So, we're in a doll factory, right?
It reminds me of that movie The Leprechaun,
with that little guy
that goes, "I'm the leprechaun. "
Garth, I'm the leprechaun!
Cool it, O.K.?
I'm the leprechaun!
Stop it, all right?
Don't try and steal me pot o' gold.
Why do you hang around with these guys?
Because they're fun.
If I wanted a guy that was all ambition,
I could've stayed in Hong Kong.
Back there guys like that are 12 for 10 cents.
A dime a dozen.
Maybe where you shop.
I think you underestimate them.
They're really sharp.
Stop it, leprechaun man!
Garth, chill!
What did those monsters do to you? Sweetie.
I'm not--
Sweetie. Sweetie.
Stop it.
Come on, sweetie.
Come on.
Pixie dust.
Pixie dust.
Sweetie, it's me.
It's me...the leprechaun!
No! Oh!
I'm the leprechaun.
Oh, yeah. These guys, really sharp.
I'm scared!
Want to leave, but can't.
Want to move.
Where you going to move?
Are you going to move to Ireland?
'Cause I'm the leprechaun.
[ Cassandra ] Wayne, we're here!
Here. Let me get the gate for you.
All righty.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Nice digs, huh?
Hey, Cassandra, you look hot.
Wayne, I'd like you to meet my father, Mr.Wong.
Please meet you acquaintance, Wayne Campbell.
[ Speaking Cantonese ]
[ Dubbed Deep Voice ] Very well, if that is your custom.
Prepare to die.
Ha! Hee! Ha! Ho!
La la la la la la.
[ Dubbed Voice ] I know all seven animal styles--
The crane.
The stag.
The horse. The tiger.
The bat. The rat.
The monkey.
The beetle.
[ Beatles Music Plays ]
I'll take you, old man.
[ Speaking Cantonese ]
Your tongue is quick. But how are you with a sword?
Oh, no.
Ha ha ha ha!
[ Telephone Rings ]
Hai! Hai!
[ Dubbed Voice ] Hello? Can we talk later?
This is not a good time.
Just a moment. I've got call-waiting.
Hello. Yes?
Can I call you back?
I'm on the other line.
Uh-huh. Yes, he received
a Sports Illustrated football phone.
Wayne, no!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Wayne, you've impressed me.
You're worthy of my daughter.
We got a party tomorrow at Komrades.
It's kind of a fund-raiser for Waynestock.
Right. There'll be a $10 cover charge at the door.
It'll be a big party.
And because it's at Komrades,
we're gonna call it a communist party.
I remember one time
I was in a place like this.
Sri Lanka.
Formerly Ceylon.
It was about 3 A.M.
I was looking for 1,000 brown M&Ms
to fill a brandy glass,
or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night.
So Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door
and mentions there's a little sweet shop
on the edge of town.
Hey, Wayne. Hey, Garth.
Milton, how's it going?
Awesome party!
Good tunes. Good brew.
Good buddies.
I feel great, man.
I feel great!
I don't know, man.
I hate my father. I hate my life.
But I feel great, man!
You guys are great.
I'm going to go pick a fight.
He's gotten a lot better, don't you think?
Way better.
Thank you.
We'll be back in a bit.
Hey, how's it going?
Hi. Mmm.
It's looking good, Campbell.
I'll be at the bar.
Good. I'm glad you could make it.
You look amazing.
I see.
Oh, wait. I have great news.
Bobby's taking me to L.A.
to do the final mix on my album.
Isn't that terrific?
Wow, that's great.
I'm ecstatic.
I'm beside myself with joy.
Hooray for Hollywood.
Living on your own has its perks. Schwing!
Your mom doesn't tell you to turn down the stereo.
That's a real drag. Schwing! Schwing!
Because moms are genetically programmed
to hate music played at the appropriate level, right?
And my dad, forget it. Schwing! Schwing! Schwing!
He could ruin a Led Zeppelin reunion concert.
Schwing! Schwing!
He hates any music played at the appropriate level.
Schwing! Schwing! Schwing!
But the shopkeeper and his son
was a different story altogether.
I had to beat them to death
with their own shoes.
What's the deal with Bobby?
Wayne? Uh...
It's getting a little out of hand.
I think you better say something.
All right. Good call.
Everybody, I'd like to say something!
Excuse me. Coming through!
Everybody, can I get your attention?
I'd like to say something. Keep it down.
O.K. We're really glad you could all make it.
We never realized that we had so many friends
who believed in this concert idea.
When we first had this idea
of putting on this shindig,
we didn't know if anyone would come.
But look.
You're all here, pitching in.
I promised myself I wouldn't cry.
Party on!
[ Cheering ]
Well, I'll take whatever I want
And baby, I want you
You give me something I need
Now tell me I got something for you
Come on, come on
Come on and do it
Come on and do what you do
I can't get enough of your love
I can't get enough of your love
Garth, I'm starting to get a bad feeling, man.
I think something's going on.
Well, it's late, and I want love...
Hello. Hello. Yes?
Is this Aerosmith's tour manager?
It is?
Uh, hello. Uh, my name is Wayne Campbell.
You don't know me.
I'm not mental or anything,
but I'm putting on a concert
in Aurora, Illinois.
Yes, I can hold.
Oh. Del, look.
For years I thought this was a Mercedes emblem.
That was quite a show, man.
You were at Woodstock?
Excellent. What was it like?
Well, it rained all morning,
and then it cleared up in the afternoon.
And that's it.
I almost remembered something else,
but it's gone.
You can't remember what it was?
Still holding. I want--
Wayne, look what I made.
Good work, my friend.
You guys got the permit applications?
Got the money?
Cha-ching, cha-ching.
Good for you.
Most people just take them and never come back.
[ Mission: Impossible Theme Music Plays ]
Position one to position two.
Do you copy?
This is position two in position.
Position three, what's your position?
Position three. I read you.
Position four, do you copy? Over.
Four copies.
Back to position one. Over.
I have to go to L.A. for a couple of days.
If you need anything...
I'm at this number.
Position one to position two.
Position one to two-- did you see that?
This is position two in position!
Sorry, man. I didn't see anything.
What is it?
Abort! Abort! We have been identified!
Abandon positions! Abandon positions! Whoa!
Wayne, let's run away!
- Aah! - Whoa! Whoa!
Garth, it's Locked!
In here!
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You can say that you got me wrong
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But I'm still reachin' to the top
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Keep it goin', keep it goin'
Itís all right
To the left
And to the right
Step it up, step it up
Itís all right...
Come on! Let's go!
We won't flinch
We won't flinch
All you got to do is bounce it
Do it, Miss Thing! Do it! Do it!
Young man
There's no need to feel down
I said, young man
Pick yourself off the ground
I said, young man
'Cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy
Young man
There's a place you can go
I said, young man
When you're short on your dough
You can stay there
And I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time
Get it, girl! Get it, girl!
Itís fun to stay at the YMCA
Itís fun to stay at the YMCA, yeah
They have everything for a man to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys
Itís fun to stay at the YMCA
Itís fun to stay at the YMCA, yeah
You can get yourself clean
You can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel
You look like you want to say something.
I think we should break up.
What? Why?
Because... there comes a time
when people should go their separate ways.
I mean, I've got Waynestock,
you've got your career and your producer,
and I just think it's time
that we should see other people.
I don't want to see other people.
Well, what about Bobby?
What about him?
Oh, come on! Do you think I'm a "gullibull"
or even a "gullicalf"?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Sha, right! Come on, now!
What about these?
Where did these come from?
I did a little detective work.
You did spy on me.
Yes, I did.
I think she took that well.
Let's go.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Your roadie training begins today.
It will not be easy.
You will get tired.
You will get blisters.
You will get aches and pains.
But you will also get good.
Are you ready?
Yes, sir!
Roadies present and accounted for, sir!
Well, let's begin.
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
Come on. Let's go!
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
Aw, Jesus! He's crazy!
Spirit in the sky
They're getting better, Del. Look.
When I die
Ow! Ow!
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best
Get that microphone! Get that microphone!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
You're worthless!
You're less than nothing!
What's keeping you here?
You don't belong here!
Why don't you just quit?
'Cause I got no place else to go!
Thanks for coming in with me.
I'm always afraid to come in by myself.
Come on.
Come on. Sit down.
And I'll fix us a little drink, O.K.?
[ Bossa Nova ]
There you are.
An old fashioned.
This coke's gone bad.
I just love a man with a sense of humor.
You know what I wish?
I wish I could climb
inside that big brain of yours
and just walk around.
You know what I love?
I love the way
those big, thick glasses magnify your pupils.
Look at me.
I'll bet you like to be in control.
Tell me.
Well, uh, when I was 17,
my little sister tried to borrow
my Def Leppard record.
I said, "No way."
Now, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
Oh, my God. You're so limber.
Don't you just love music?
Do you have any Megadeth?
Come with me.
I-I'm blind.
I'm dancing.
You're real squiggly.
Whoa. Aah!
Did you hurt yourself?
Let me see. Oh. There.
That's it. Yeah.
Ah...feel--feel n-naughty. F-feel naughty.
I thought I saw a puddy cat. Whoa!
Boldly go where no man has gone before.
There's got to be a way to find...
Take me, Garth.
Where? I'm low on gas. You need a jacket.
I'm going to be frank.
O.K. Can I still be Garth?
Shut up and kiss me.
Can I have some cocoa later?
[ Imitating Cary Grant ] Good morning, darling.
I trust you slept well.
I hope I wasn't too much of an animal.
Hold me.
You know I will.
Party on.
Oh, he's bobbing. He's weaving.
He winds up!
Whoa! Outside!
Are you all right?
I feel like I've been placed
in the delete bin of life
next to Mahogany Rush.
Oh. I'm sorry.
Well, relationships aren't for the timid.
And I should know.
For I'm no longer a stranger
in the ways of the woman.
All right, man, all right.
Good work, my friend.
On that note, game on.
Game on!
All right!
He's wheeling. He's dealing.
Whuh-oh. He shoots. He scores!
O.K., ladies and gentlemen,
it takes two people to run a concert--
One backstage and one out front.
One man alone cannot do this.
Wayne, you will run the backstage team.
Milton, you are the liaison
between Wayne's backstage team
and Garth's front-stage team,
which includes myself in the booth.
To the left and the right of the stage
are the machine gun nests.
Belt-fed M-60 Brownings.
These babies tend to heat up,
so shoot in three-second bursts.
In the event of capture,
I will personally distribute cyanide capsules
to be placed under the tongue like so.
Any questions?
Uh, yeah. I have a question.
When did you turn into a nut bar?
Ha ha ha ha!
Thank you, Mr.Scream.
In a minute I'm gonna be joined by Wayne and Garth,
they're gonna give us the lowdown
about the upcoming Waynestock concert.
Hi. Uh, we're here to see Handsome Dan.
My name is Wayne Campbell.
Ja. I know.
We've been expecting you, Wayne Campbell.
I am Bjergen Kjargen.
I love your accent. Where are you from?
I am from Sweden.
Oh, really?
Whereabouts in Sweden?
Knuergen, near the Joergen Fjords.
Well, nice to meet you, Bjergen Kjargen
from Knuergen near the Joergen Fjords.
Hmm. Knuergen.
That's in the Klargen Province,
near the Biburgen River.
Now correct me if I'm wrong.
Your annual rainfall varies
from about 40 inches in the winter
to 200 inches in summer,
and your chief export is modular furniture.
I did a project on Sweden
in the eighth grade.
Well, I am impressed with your quest for knowledge.
Educated men are rare.
I stayed up all night working on it.
Then the next day in gym class,
I was on the minitramp,
and I got diarrhoea.
I wish I hadn't told you that.
Well, I am sorry to hear of your illness,
but since you have sacrificed your health
for knowledge of my home country,
I find you very attractive.
I hope to make love to you in the future.
Well, shvnuergen.
O.K. All right.
O.K. All right.
Oop. Dick Van Dyke Show.
Good work, my friend.
Are you wearing Brut?
My woman likes me in cologne.
Hey, Wayne, Garth,
let me get my headset off.
I'll be right out.
Oh, wow.
Hi, Handsome Dan. It's great to meet you.
I'm not Handsome Dan.
- Dan. - Dan.
Back with you on WPIG, maximum grunt.
[ Grunt ]
All right. Our special guests--
Wayne Campbell, Garth Algar.
Wayne's World, Wayne's World. All right.
Talking about Waynestock.
Very exciting. Big event.
Everybody's excited, huh?
It's going to be a big concert
at Adlai Stevenson Park.
It's going to be a big party.
We got some great bands coming.
Like Aerosmith.
There are still plenty of tickets left.
But don't wait till the last minute.
'Cause it's just a chance
for the city of Aurora--
To do something.
And to put the city on the map.
It's a lot of work.
Oh, well, uh, work is hard.
You're not really listening, are you?
I could say anything now,
like you're a complete tool.
But you wouldn't hear it,
''re a freak with a microphone.
It's not challenging anymore.
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
True, sphincter boy?
Uh-huh. What? Oh.
[ Gunshot ]
They're getting closer.
Good information about Waynestock. Very exciting.
We'll be back after pig sports.
It's 16 minutes past the big hour.
Right, Mr.Scream?
Ha ha ha!
Great. Good stuff.
I think people are getting cranked.
[ Ring ]
[ Ring ]
Hi. Bobby, it's Wayne Campbell.
Wayne. How'd you get this number?
It was written on the back of a business card.
Hey, uh, I'm looking for Cassandra.
I have to talk to her. It's really important.
Cassandra? No. I haven't seen her.
She said she might come to L.A.
She wasn't definite.
If I hear anything, I'll let you know.
I have to go.
I'm with someone. I'm sorry I couldn't help.
O.K. Thanks. Bye.
Important call?
Ah, some small-time promoter.
Let's get some lunch.
[ Thunder ]
[ Moaning ]
What you're saying
is that Peter Lawford warned Kennedy
not to mess with the military-industrial complex.
Yeah. Dig this, man--
J. Edgar Hoover was one bad cat.
I mean, he had a completely different bag from Jack.
I mean, he just couldn't groove.
When two cats can't groove to the same tune,
one of them has to visit the man upstairs.
That's amazing, man. Excuse me.
Wayne, I want you to meet a friend of mine--
Sammy Davis Jr.
Wow. Nice to meet you, Mr.Jr.
Nice to meet you, too, man.
I got some cats I got to hang with.
Bye, Sammy.
He's a good man.
And now, Wayne, what can I do you for?
Listen, Jim, I'm really confused, O.K.?
We haven't sold any tickets,
none of the bands have signed,
Garth is distracted by chicks,
I broke up with my girlfriend,
and on top of all that,
Del's gone completely mental.
To complete your journey,
you're gonna have to help some people along the way.
This next little bit, you're gonna have to go it alone.
Keep the faith, my friend.
If you book them, they will come.
Hey, Sammy, wait up.
Hey, Jim, what if nobody shows up?
Aah. Aah...
Oh, wow.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Right.
Right, Moe.
I understand.
A little.
I've never been on The Tonight Show before.
Nothing to worry about. After the show, I--
I have to fly to Aurora. I'm doing Waynestock.
Waynestock? What's this Waynestock thing?
Nothing. Something she has to do.
Hold on a second, Moe.
Listen, Bobby's put together some great musicians.
You're making a great album.
Together, it can't miss.
You're in good hands. He's the best.
You listen to Bobby, and you're gonna be a big star.
A big star.
Moe? Yeah. Uh-huh.
Well, we're almost out of time,
but I'd just like to point out
there are still plenty of excellent Waynestock tickets
still available.
Actually, there are about 10,000
excellent Waynestock tickets still available.
And I'd also like to address a rumor.
There's this rumor
that none of the bands have signed
and probably no one's going to show up.
Well, it's true that none of the bands have signed.
Jim Morrison and his weird naked Indian friend
visited me in the night
and assured me that all the bands will come.
That's all the time we have this week,
so until then, party on, Garth.
Party on, Wayne.
It's Wayne's World, Wayne's World
Party time, excellent
And we're clear.
All right! Whoo!
you know, I don't know
if you should mention
that Jim Morrison thing anymore.
Yeah, yeah. It's just that people have started to talk.
They're saying things like,
"Hey, there goes Garth and his friend Wayne,
the psychopath."
It's embarrassing.
No offense or nothing.
Oh, no. No. None taken.
I believe this knife is yours.
It's just that things
have started to look a little bleak.
Bleak? What?
Hey, no guff, Chet.
Until you pointed that out,
it hadn't occurred to me.
Where are you going?
Yeah. You know. The usual. Are you gonna come?
No. You guys go and have fun.
I'd probably end up embarrassing you anyways.
No, no. I'm just going to stay here
and lick the cat's butt.
[ All ] O.K.
Just 15-20 minutes
three times a week
can really make a difference in--
How about all the other products?
Joe, you know the price. 29.95.
[ Applause ]
And that song is from your album.
Oh, man.
She looks great.
It should be out next month,
or we hope it will be.
Who's we? Who are you looking at?
Let's see the guy.
Uh, that's Bobby Cahn, my producer.
That fine-looking man is your producer?
I'm in the wrong business.
I should be a record producer.
Then I'd have attractive-looking women smiling at me.
[ Laughter ]
She will be mine again. Oh, yes.
She will be mine again.
You were terrific. They loved you.
You think so?
Listen to them. They loved you. Me, too.
I didn't think I could do it without my band.
Your guys were so hot.
Damn, I had fun.
Good. Let's celebrate.
Did you give any thought to what I said?
Uh, yeah. I'm still thinking about it.
Give me a week?
W-what's the matter? Is anything wrong?
Oh, Garth.
Oh, Garth, I'm so scared.
What, has someone hurt you?
I'll take care of it.
I'm a grownup now, you know.
it's my husband.
Your what?
Oh, darling. I meant to tell you,
but my divorce isn't final,
and he came over here yesterday,
and he was crazy-- like an animal.
Oh, I wish someone would kill him.
You mean, kill your husband?
No! No! Don't say it.
You mustn't even think it.
I know you love me,
but I won't let you kill my husband.
Although I know you want to.
We both know you want to.
Then you could have me anytime you want.
And I do mean anytime.
Get me my cigarettes,
would you, lover?
They're in my purse.
I'm just so...
[ Crying ]
That's a pretty big gun.
Oh, darling...
all this talk about killing
and .45 magnums with the clip filed down
and the safety off.
Oh, it's just all so confusing. I...
I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't.
I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't.
I won't let you.
He is a dead man.
No way.
You know what?
I got myself into this.
I'm gonna get myself out of it.
I'm gonna take it on the chin and be a man.
[ Jim Morrison ] Keep the faith, my friend.
If you book them, they will come.
Aah! Aah! Wha--
O.K. All right, man.
You got to stop doing that, all right?
Oh, man.
Hello, is anybody here?
Hello. Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, my God! Rip Taylor!
My God!
You must be Wayne Campbell.
- How are you? - Very good.
This must be Waynestock.
Yes, it is.
It's rustic and bucolic, but I like it. It's cute.
How are you, pal?
Better get ready for the show. Get dressed.
You can see him?
Of course I can.
How are you going to miss a half-naked Indian?
Rip Taylor, Garth Algar.
Rip, you showed up. Cool.
My people got a call from you. Thank you.
Before I could say no,
this guy came to me in a dream.
I said, "Who are you?" He said, "Jim Morrison.
I'm a dead rock star."
I said, "I'm not familiar with your work."
So he played a record from The Doors.
I said, "You're more like a crooner
working in the rock milieu, which I like."
Why is our order taking so long?
So, well, he said,
"You got to do Waynestock."
So I figured, what the hey?
[ Jukebox Playing ]
Hey, what's going on?
- Don't you know? - No.
We're here for Waynestock.
Same here, dude.
Really looking forward to it, too.
Where did all these people come from?
We got to get back to the playing fields.
Hey, Joe...
So, have you seen Cassandra?
I know. It's weird.
I don't know where she is either.
I know. I mean, she said she'd play,
and she never misses a gig.
If you see her, send her over to Waynestock.
Thanks a lot, chief. All right, bye-bye.
O.K., here's what's happening so far.
People have started to show up,
but none of the bands are here.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to hurl.
O.K., Garth, ix-nay on the url-hay.
I need your help. Think! Where could Cassandra be?
[ Telephone Rings ]
[ Ring ]
I think I had too much Jolt Cola.
[ Ring ]
[ Ring ]
[ Dubbed Voice ] Hello.
Jeff, Wayne.
I cannot find your daughter, and I'm troubled.
Alas, my young friend.
I have chosen another for my daughter.
You are an excellent warrior,
but I require more in a son-in-law.
He has money.
Name the one you have chosen.
He will die by my hand.
He goes by the name of Bobby.
He has offered security, a career, and a green card.
I arranged the match myself.
Though I am sure this information
will be useless to you so late in the film,
they are to be married
at the First Presbyterian Church on Gordon Street.
Sorry I could not invite you to the wedding.
[ Speaking Cantonese ]
It's O.K. She's marrying Bobby.
What are you doing?
I'm out! I have to go find Cassandra
and tell her how I feel.
But I can't do the concert by myself. It takes two.
You're right. I'm in.
But I love her! Aah! I'm freaking out!
What am I going to do?
Go get Cassandra. Del and I will run the concert.
Just go get Cassandra and be back before we start.
Go, now!
Now move it, people!
Go! Go! Go!
I'm kind of busy now.
I just wanted to know
if you needed anything from the permit office.
That's the Unix book.
All right, men. Our work here is done.
[ Squawk ]
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
[ "Mrs.Robinson" Plays ] Dee Dee dee dee Dee dee
Dee Dee dee Dee Dee dee dee
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Dee Dee dee Dee Dee dee dee Dee...
[ Static ]
Dee Dee dee...
Where's the First Presbyterian Church on Gordon Street?
Gordon Street! Gordon Street!
Oh, yeah, Gordon Street.
I once knew a girl
who lived on Gordon Street...
but that was a long time ago...
when I was young.
Do we have to put up with this?
Can't we get a better actor?
I know it's a small part,
but we can do better than this.
Gordon Street?
Oh, yes, Gordon Street.
I once knew a girl
who lived on Gordon Street...
long time ago...
when I was a young man.
Not a day passes that I don't think of her...
and the promise I made which...
I will always keep...
that one perfect day on Gordon Street.
That's, uh, five blocks up, two over.
Thank you.
[ "Mrs.Robinson" Plays ]
[ Feedback ]
Welcome to Aurora!
Eat me!
Not just a place, but a state of mind.
[ "Mrs.Robinson" Plays ]
[ Music Slows ]
[ Music Stops ]
[ Wedding March Plays ]
Oh, Jesus. God, no.
Oh. Hi. Sorry!
Sorry, everybody!
Wrong wedding!
Who's he?
[ Wedding March Plays ]
Oh, Jesus. God, no.
[ Pounding ]
- Cassandra! - What an asshole!
[ No Audio ]
[ No Audio ]
[ No Audio ]
Crazy punk.
Dee Dee Dee dee Dee dee
Dee Dee dee dee Dee Dee Dee...
Here's to you, Mrs.Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
God bless you, please, Mrs.Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Stevenson Park! Step on it!
1, 1, 2, 2, 2.
O.K. We have some word
that there is some bad red-rope licorice
circulating in the crowd.
Repeat-- stay away from the red-rope licorice.
Do not bite any off and chew it.
It could cause a dental emergency.
[ Booing ]
Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Ohh! - Ohh!
- Gggaaa! - Gggaaa!
Hey, huh?
Huh? Guys, huh?
Wayne, Cassandra, you made it!
- Whoo! - Whoo!
This is great!
[ Booing ]
What are we gonna do? None of the bands have showed up.
I don't know. Jim Morrison said,
"If you book them, they will come."
I don't know. It doesn't look too good.
Wow, we really are in the desert.
Sha, no guff.
Wow, Jim Morrison.
Told you so, man.
How can I help you?
Jim, none of the bands have showed up.
I know, and they're not going to show up.
Then why were we supposed to put on the concert?
Because you had to try and do something with your life.
But it was a failure.
Whether you won or lost,
what's important is that you gave it your best shot.
Sorry, man.
All right.
You'll think of something.
It's your movie.
Well, thanks a pantload, Chet.
- Yeah. - Sha.
Wayne, where are we?
Oh. How do we get back?
[ Flies Buzzing ]
[ Cawing ]
Wayne, Wayne...
We don't want to end the movie this way, do we?
Good call, Garth.
If we're going to go down,
let's at least go down in glory.
Let's do the Thelma and Louise ending. Yeah!
- Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! - Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Let's just keep going, Wayne.
O.K., Garth.
Hey, we don't want to end the movie like this.
Yeah. Let's do the happy ending.
None of the bands have showed up. What are we gonna do?
What are we going to do, you guys?
[ Horn Honks ]
You made it. Excellent.
Welcome to Waynestock.
All right.
- Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
Talk is cheap
Shut up and dance
Don't get deep
Shut up and dance
Now, listen
Has got me down
A tear just hit the ground
So I started writing you this song
But the words I wrote came out all wrong...
Jim, why was I supposed to put on this concert?
Because you had to learn
that it doesn't matter what you do,
Cassandra loves you for who you are,
and that being an adult means facing responsibility,
yet still taking the time to have fun.
Right. It's sort of like coming home on Friday night
and doing your homework right away
so that your Saturday night is free to just party.
No, I like the way I said it better.
When they take away everything you got
And they rub your nose in the funky spot
Not without a fight...
Excuse me.
Would you open the gate, please?
I have to get in there.
Sorry, you can't come in.
My girlfriend is in there.
A lot of people's girlfriends are in there.
Shut up and dance
Now, listen
When you work your fingers to the bone
Now what does that get you?
In a crowd of people
You're still alone
And I guess that tells you
Now the road to heaven
Is paved in hell
And it makes you wonder
Check out the shape of your circumstances
He wears the dress, and she wears the pants
Here comes Jill, and she needs her man
But she can't teach Jack, so shut up and dance
I saw him dancin' there by the record machine
I knew he must've been about 17
The beat was goin' strong
Playin' my favorite song
And I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me
Yeah, me
And I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me
Yeah, me
I love rock 'n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me
He smiled, so I got up and asked for his name
That don't matter, he said
'Cause it's all the same
I said, can I take you home
Where we can be alone?
And next we were movin' on
Till he was with me
Yeah, me
And next we were movin' on
Till he was with me
Yeah, me
I love rock 'n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me
After all the jacks are in their boxes
And the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness...
Hey, don't cry.
Yeah, we're going to clean it up. O.K.?
Dressed in red
And the wind whispers
And the wind cries...
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
It's excellent
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
It's excellent
Take it back to where we go down the street
It's Wayne and Garth that they want to meet
We're in the basement
Playin' with our toys
If you do not like it
You're a sphincter boy
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
It's excellent
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
It's excellent
When I grow up
We might get in a rut
Sha, right
And monkeys might fly out of our butts
The right to party is a battle we have fought
But we'll surrender and go amish
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
It's excellent
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
It's excellent
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
It's excellent
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
It's excellent
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
Wayne's World
It's party time
Chicks go mental
Chicks go mental
Chicks go mental
Chicks go mental
Chicks go mental English subtitles for movie Wayne`s World 2
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